ALSO DEFUND THE ARTS PLEASE  2:19 pm October 5, 2012

Great Beat, You Can Dance To It: Old Man Warbles Truths About Gay Obama Being Gay

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Well, somebody is on the R-train all right! Via our favorite Bogg, T, we have this fabulous old man singing about Barack Obama being the first gay president. (NOBODY TELL HIM ABOUT LINCOLN PLEASE, OR THE OTHER ONE, THE BACHELOR.) Anyway, this should be all the proof you need that the mysterious “Robyns” and “Hazels” who told WND that Barry Obama is a supergeigh were not just pulling things out of their definitely existing asses.

We feel like we have written about William Tapley before besides this one post, but if we did, we don’t seem to have bothered to type in his name. Ah, here is Newell, waxing poetic! At any rate, Mr. Tapley is a national treasure and we love him very much and if more people made videos of themselves standing in a forest screensaver and playing awesome synth and making up lyrics about the president getting blowjobs, this country would be even greater than it has always not ever not been!

Get on the R Train everybody, so you can defunk defund defunk Amtrak! (Also “the arts,” or whatever those pinko commie fag Andres Serranos want to call it, because it is 2012 so of course “Piss Christ” is still a thing.)

[Youtube, via TBogg]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 216 comments }

Maman October 5, 2012 at 2:21 pm

How did this numbnutz figure out how to use a green screen?

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Actually, he picked boogers and smeared them, and next thing he knew, it was all chromakeyed.

Terry October 5, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Probably got help from his gay grandson who is enrolled at RISD.

mwittier October 5, 2012 at 4:57 pm

When the train went past him at the end, I so wanted someone to hit him with a big blast of air from off-camera.

The rest of the time, I so wanted someone to hit him with a croquet mallet, from off-camera. Or on-camera, I'm not picky.

Dr_pangloss October 6, 2012 at 12:59 pm

The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse is not impressed with your so called "Green Screen" technology. He recorded his thoughts and image directly to your mind via the InterNets. He's just that powerful.

Maman October 5, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Never, never, never use Comic Sans, dude.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Well his song was sans comic.

nounverb911 October 5, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Is Tapley the "Little Engine That Couldn't"?

elviouslyqueer October 5, 2012 at 3:20 pm

You can't have Tapley without a little "tap tap tap."

no_gravity October 5, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Needz moar swishing and flouncing and flirty, flirty eyes.

ManchuCandidate October 5, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I miss the sofistikashun of Obamer is a Kenyan Muslin Fascist Communist Socialist dictator black racist over the grade skule bullshit they're throwing out now.

Maman October 5, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Was hoping that he was too close to the train and got tumbled under the wheels. dang.

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 2:52 pm

If only that had been the D-train….

LesBontemps October 5, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Well duh! Everyone knows the R train ends up in Queens.

proudgrampa October 5, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Zing!

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

BAY RIDGE LIBEL!

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Well done, sir.

G&T?

Typodong3 October 5, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Im wondering how our first gay president managed to hide his gayness during the FIRST presidential election???

MozakiBlocks October 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Well duh, the LIBRUL Media knew this in 2008 but refused to report on it because they wanted Barry to win.

Do I have to explain everything around here?

no_gravity October 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Down low.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

HE WASN"T VETTED? WHY FOX NEWS NEVER HEARD ABOUT OBAMA UNTIL LAST WEEK, WHERE IT TURNED OUT THAT HE IS BLACK!

StillGoinGreen October 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

No, no, no, he was Muslim during his first term, he is gay for his second. Thank GOD he doesn't get a crack at a third, or he might would be an abortion.

LesBontemps October 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I thought we were all gay for his second term?

PsycWench October 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Well, because he was too busy being Kenyan and all.

MissTaken October 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Too busy vettening that lesbo Hilz.

CthuNHu October 5, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Wow, you learn something new every day!

Maybe he just held hands with Martha in public a lot?

PuckStopsHere October 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I like that this guy is a R$money guy. He's got the intellectual heft befitting their supporters. Not to mention the artistic chops.

vtxmcrider October 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

And this is Romney's replacement for Big Bird and PBS?

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

He used to play the skinflute in Grand Fuck Railroad.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I think he might have been in E. L. Blow

Indiepalin October 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

His real name is Mark Farmer

SexySmurf October 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

This is the first song I've heard all year that doesn't feature Rihanna. But I'm sure she'll end up on the dub step remix.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:45 am

Bwahahaha! It's funny 'cause it's true.

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Damn! Missed.

Yellerdawg October 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Well, that totally convinced me. I think this guy wants to ride his "R" train straight up someone's dark tunnel in a bad way.

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Taking the ol' red-eye…

Schmannnity October 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Is the "R" train like the short bus?

no_gravity October 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

That song would have worked better if it was set to polka music.

SwanSwanH October 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

A little bit pitchy.

DemmeFatale October 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I'll…bet…he's…fun…at…parties… zzzzzzzzzzz…

(Could this "tune" be any slow…er?)

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

He needs to switch that to a samba beat.

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Yeah, that's a hoot! I can see him on the patio, next to the pool, at the end of the snack table that everyone's avoiding…. especially the goth teenager who lives in the basement wondering where the fuck her earphones are…this is hell…

IncenseDebate October 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

These wingnuts sure do think of the ghey all night and day.

BornInATrailer October 5, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Is this the one where Diesel rapes Thomas?

mrpuma2u October 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

How can he be a secret muslin and a secret gayz? Muslins hate teh gayz. I haz a confuzed.

Callyson October 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Jesus, made it to sixteen seconds before my eardrums rebelled. Even Mittens sings better than this guy.

PuckStopsHere October 5, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Now that's what I call a burn.

Theywontlisten October 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

and Trent Lott, Larry Craig, Jim Jeffers, John Ashcroft…Ham Rove too

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I like how he rhymes "train" with "train"

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

It really is subtle and the delivery is warm and introspective with a slight lament like Nick Drake.

DemmeFatale October 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I like all 'board, (lame in itself), and forward.

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 3:24 pm

That's the bestest!…

belmontreport October 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I liked that so much that I've now watched 3 of his videos! Apparently God is warning about the coming "end times" through sports. All things black and brown are stand ins for Obama. Please don't watch his videos.

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

You know, you are never getting that time back…but thank you.

mwittier October 5, 2012 at 5:02 pm

I liked the "Is the Last Pope (the next one, BTW) Evil or Good?" video best.

At the beginning, he's all, "I'm not going to tell you what I think, or the three people I'm going to quote think, because I don't want to influence you…"

And then five seconds later, his Pope fanboyness can't be contained, and he blurts out how of course he's a good Pope, sillies! He's so excited, it'd be adorable, except hate/superstition/mental illness and all.

StillGoinGreen October 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Stupid (R)'s, Obama once accidentally wore shoes with holes in them for a national photo shoot…Hah, proof otherwise!

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I would never Tapley that, not even with Editrix's (latex) dick.¹

¹I assume it's latex, unless you have an allergy to latex, in which case please subsitute silicone.

mavenmaven October 5, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Dr. Freud might see a lot of wishful thinking and repression in Mr. Tapley's work.
Tapley, come out of the closet already, you will finally be able to wear ladies clothing and move the way you really want to when you play your louche little cabaret songs!

SoBeach October 5, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Just doesn't get any better than that.

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 2:32 pm

WORST G.G. ALLIN TRIBUTE BAND EVAR!

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2012 at 2:32 pm

All aboard the Dunning-Krueger Express! Stops along this line include Dissonance, The Creation Museum, and Kook-a-munga.

216stitches October 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm

When is the next rover going to Mars? I want to be on it!

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

On the way, be sure to stop for some gas at the moon; Newt might be looking for some company, mebbe?

Typodong3 October 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Ok wait a minute, had to watch that again. No snark here, that guy is utterly rotten and evil. What a fucking douchebag. You can feel and see the racism and homophobia just dripping from his lily-white pores. This is the kind of bottom dwelling pond scum that makes it verrrry hard for me follow Christs' word to love thy neighbor. Can I make an exception just THIS once? Puleeeese??

Anyways, he cannot even remotely keep a beat, maintain any sort of rhythm or timing. Ive seen dogs and cats yowling in pretend speech on you tube who sang better than this guy.

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Here's how you gain solace, my brother (or sister): Remember that every single person in the world who are praying for benevolence and wisdom for our leaders, including those who feign loving their neighbors, are talking to themselves.

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Oh, c'mon…God has a special place in Heaven for him….

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:48 am

I've seen this guy, before, and almost pity him, because he's surely not playing with a full deck. I think Stewart or Colbert did a piece on him a few years back.

PubOption October 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm

The R train going forward to the future? I think not.

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Meh. Still better than Cold Play.

CthuNHu October 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm
viennawoods13 October 5, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Excellent. And so true.

Joshua Norton October 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm

First they ignore you. Then they ridicule you. Then they fight you. Then you win they just start recycling through the same old shit all over again.

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm

It's like my ears got kicked in the groin.

Typodong3 October 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

And not a grazing kick that just stuns you for a sec and then a tiny wash of pain. No, this is the full frontal direct center kick, the kind that doesnt hurt at ALL for 5 seconds, then suddenly you find yourself lying on the floor in the fetal position as racking waves of agony trample your nervous system, sort of kick to the ears.

Pragmatist2 October 5, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Here's an idea. Let's spread a rumor. Go to a Christian site and comment with one of these:
"Some people say Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in."
"Is it true that Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in?"
""Have you heard that Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in?"

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Oooooh, me likey!

proudgrampa October 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm

You're good.

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Make a Facebook Page.

ChillBill October 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

#MittswearingbookMormon

Pragmatist2 October 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Maybe it could say "Someone told me that Jerome Corsi says that Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in."

LesBontemps October 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

"Some people say Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Holy Bible at his swearing in."

FTFY.

MilwaukeeKent October 5, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Oh, perfect — pre-formatted for Fox News.

YouBetcha October 5, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Twitchy and FreeRepublic, here I come.

x111e7thst October 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Been there, done that (thanks for the idea)

HeadsIWin October 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Done.

MissTaken October 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

WARBLOG time!

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

That would be the same Book of Mormon that will let him dig up your grandmother and BAPTIZE HER!

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Some people say that Mitt Romney posthumously Baptized Ronald Reagan as a Mormon!

mrpuma2u October 5, 2012 at 2:35 pm

That song sucked Beluga whales. I want to sneak into this nincompoop's McMansion, open up his keyboard, savage it with a solder gun and then put it back together.

prommie October 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Beluga whales? I heard thats a good eatin' whale!

HogeyeGrex October 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Fuck the soldering iron. Just drop a bunch of fresh St. Bernard turds in there and then button it back up.

OK. A cup of cat piss, to re-etch the circuit board too.

MilwaukeeKent October 5, 2012 at 6:55 pm

See now, careful! This idea veers dangerously close to "raw chicken livers in the air conditioner" territory.

FakaktaSouth October 5, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Hop on the R Train, we're moving out…

God man, I will help you fucking pack.

prommie October 5, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I'd leave it all behind.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm
prommie October 5, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Yeah baby its new avatar time in honor of Eisenhower here is Elizabeth Montgomery on a couch with stilleto heels and fuck yes this will only make sense to fakakta so fuck y'all.

FakaktaSouth October 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Very nice, I thought it might would be the one where she's sticking her butt out so I could post the "Giving him oral, in the back hall…" lyric from this man's weirdly perved out trainwreck of an ode here. Ah well, Samantha is looking FINE!

proudgrampa October 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Well I, for one, appreciate an Elizabeth Montgomery in stilleto heels anytime.

And no disrespect to Fakakta.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Christ on a cracker, this is the second time that photo shoot has popped up….heh!…in my life this week alone!

prommie October 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Elizabeth Montgomery is a thing. I don't know why, but she keeps appearing somehow lately. It may be a sign of the end times.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

The end times are going to be fun then, eh?

prommie October 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

They started out with a bang.

Theywontlisten October 5, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Personally I can't wait until 12/21/12…It's gonna be hawt

Schmannnity October 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

The flip side is White on Rice.

LibrarianX October 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Looks like Ted Nugent.

kyeshinka October 5, 2012 at 4:32 pm

After fucking his sister with his strap-on.

BornInATrailer October 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Worst. Coors ad. Ever.

Guppy October 5, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I don't know, it certainly drives me to drink.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Jay-Z's production is slipping.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm

♪♫ Fake train, fake train, going so fast ♫♪

The Rs want to put America on the Gulf, Mobile, and Ohio – the beloved GM&O now outsourced to the Canadians.

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Closeted self-hater hates himself, to music.

Isyaignert October 5, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Really, really shitty music.

rickmaci October 5, 2012 at 2:43 pm

This guy is going to give wingnuttery a really bad reputation.

Goonemeritus October 5, 2012 at 2:45 pm

What is all this about the revered 42nd President of the United States Getting BJ’s from people other than Hillary? I don’t recall any scandal back then, did I miss something?

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 2:46 pm

That awsome pose he makes at the end is now my screen saver.

edgydrifter October 5, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Lee Greenwood had better look over his shoulder. This guy is gunning for his crown.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 5, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Play that funky music white boy.

valgal2342 October 5, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I stole that, THANKS!

Sacanagem October 5, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Dude needs a pop filter and a clue. And talent. And a soul.

TootsStansbury October 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

This r train is a few cars short, if you know what I mean.

Are they now reduced to pointing and yelling "he's a gay!" Fucking hell.

Schmannnity October 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Who needs PBS when the free market has this kind of talent?

SexySmurf October 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm

OT what's with the Newsmax headline widget shit over there above the blogroll? Is Wonkette really that hard up?

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I felt the same way when we had that insipid Cross Roads auto add up for a couple of weeks. I consoled myself with the thought Karl Rove was buying the first round at the Wonkette Drinky Thingies.

SexySmurf October 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

If it helps I'll click on one of the links. Maybe the one about Mitt Romney's Health Secret: Fisting.

MilwaukeeKent October 5, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Hey, if it pays the rent — I don't know if anyone else had this, but a few weeks ago, when the GOP still had its heart and cash behind the idea of pirating disappointed Obama voters, whenever I went to Wonkette this soundtrack would start playing somewhere. I'd scan all the ads and couldn't find where this one was to shut it off until I finally found it down above the sitemeter and below the copyright notice. It did, however, convince me to make a donation to the Obama campaign. Don't think the ad meant to do that. I think it was an AFP ad.

PsycWench October 5, 2012 at 2:50 pm

What happened to all of Bryan Fischer's hair?

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Any one who calls themselves an animal of an apocalypse deserves a record deal.

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

RE: Bill Donoghue

That fat bastard really pisses me off.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

You know Who Else wanted to load a whole lot of unsuspecting people on a train?

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Von Ryan?

YouFail4eva October 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Sir Topham Hat?

tessiee October 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Can't be Mitt; he wants to tie a bunch of unsuspecting people to the roof.

tessiee October 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Arlo Guthrie?

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 4:05 am

Belated Steve Goodman libel!

tessiee October 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Wile E. Coyote?

HarryButtle October 5, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Agatha Christie? No, wait, they were all SUSPECTED people.

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Curtis Mayfield?

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Don Cornelius?

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

George Clinton?

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I think he was more into "ships".

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Bootsy Collins?

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

AmTrack?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 5, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Johnny Cash?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 5, 2012 at 3:24 pm

The O'Jays?

delaney_blom October 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Cornelius Vanderbilt?

viennawoods13 October 5, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Pete Seeger?

MilwaukeeKent October 5, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Mr. Rogers?

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:52 am

Joe the Biden?

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

"Here comes the R train, around the bend…" Damn, it missed him…

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Why do I suspect this guy has an elaborate Lionel train set in his basement with a dildo attached to the lead locomotive?

Zango Crudmonger October 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

And when the missus is tucked in for the night, he slips into the basement, turns off the power and pulls that train himself, all night.

HarryButtle October 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

His new album will be called Lube on the Tracks.

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Music by Conductor Old Uncle Tunnel.

mrblifil October 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I'm detecting more than a hint of mint. Gravelly, off-key and on amyl nitrate isn't the way to go through life kids.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I swear we've seen this guy before. But I can't remember what crazy thing he was singing about then.

StealthMuslin October 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Dennis Miller has really let himself go…

Dr_Zoidberg October 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

This just makes me like Obama more. Not only is he the first African-American president, he's the first gay president too! Oh, my little liberal heart is just bursting with joy!

emmelemm October 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I read that in the voice of Dr. Zoidberg, and I loved it.

Wadisay October 5, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I thought we weren't supposed to use the "R" word any more.

TootsStansbury October 5, 2012 at 3:09 pm

This is crying out for it. My thumbs! I am biting them!

YasserArraFeck October 5, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Oh. My. Fucking. God.
Kenny Rogers clearly had a lousy plastic surgeon

tessiee October 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Me: That's not Kenny Roges, dude.
Yasser: I know. I was just making an observation.

tessiee October 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Meh, old news.
Everybody already knew Barry was gay.
The latest gossip is that he dumped Lowell Turpin for everyone's favorite block jawed fuck tyrant, Levi Johnson.
Get with the times, old man.

zedbot October 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Holy shit.

tessiee October 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Still better than Nickelback.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Not as angst-y.

HarryButtle October 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Sorry, I'm listening to some John Hiatt and I'm not turning it off to click on that linky and listen to this dumbfuck.

DCBloom October 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Somebody should really consider auto-tuning that.

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I feel more comfortable believing this guy is a genius of satire, so please nobody attempt to convince me otherwise.

YouFail4eva October 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Believe me, I totally agree. Unfortunately, I'm fairly convinced that this dude clearly believes the line he's giving.

ImForMitt! October 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Republicans are unfamiliar with the concept of satire.

owhatever October 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Hate is always the message.

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

The old fool seems to have learned his intonation and phrasing from Snagglepuss: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WadHCu5Esl8

DCBloom October 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Is this the crazy train Ozzy was talking about?

Blunderthing October 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

"We hate the black folk–can't call 'em "nigs"–
That would be racist. Where are my cigs?
And here's some more strange Republican views:
Guess who killed Jesus. I hear it was Jews.
But I'm not racist. I like everyone.
As long as they're rich and as long as they're white.
I know that didn't rhyme. But, seriously.
I'm stupid and strong. Tomorrow belongs to me."

johnnyzhivago October 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Can I ask an OT question… I don't watch much TV, but I've had MSNBC on in the office for a few days leading up to the election.

WHAT THE FUCK IS "THE CYCLE" supposed to be??????

Krystal Ball (is she an exotic dancer?) "Tourne with an accent grave???" The chick with the nerdy glasses – and she uses her initals???? WTF is this???? Do they talk or do they just all TWEET at each other???

YouFail4eva October 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

/snark

The Cycle is the period of time that a reporter gets to cream his pants at a breaking news story.

/end snark

The Cycle is just a 24 hour period while a story is new before it gets buried under a new mountain of bullshit. Sun rise, sun set.

x111e7thst October 5, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I'm pretty sure I used to hear this creep humming his tuneless little ditties in the St Marks Baths back when.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 3:18 pm

It seems to me that this Rapture thing they've been promising us all these years is way overdue.

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Now that's a R-train that I can get on board with…errrr…for those people to board.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'll help 'em pack. And, uh, take care of all their stuff, too.

pdiddycornchips October 5, 2012 at 3:21 pm

The beard is a tell. He's like a lot of tea baggers. They long for a return to the 1850's when no one paid taxes, lynching was considered a hobby and everyone had to shit in an outhouse.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Holy crap did that ever suck and I listened to the whole Philosophy of the World by The Shaggs.

Fairtackle October 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Worst Alanis Morissette cover ever.

DahBoner October 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Ironic?

Juicy_Stalin October 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I think the guy singing about letting Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney run a train on you isn't in any position to call someone gay

CheeseBro69 October 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Can't wait till the Skrillex remix comes out

OneYieldRegular October 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Ol' '97 went in the wrong hole,
Now there's blood on the tracks and
Blood on the coal…

pinkocommi October 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm

This is too funny because MY gay-dar goes off for Romney.

Let me be clear – Romney doesn't stike me as gay man. He strikes me as a closeted gay man.

Pithaughn October 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

R01100100ney is not gay! But most of the men/boys he has sex with are.

DahBoner October 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

So, it's true, the scourge of HEROIN knows no age boundaries.

Why, you can see his track marks…

//groan

docterry6973 October 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm

An astounding display of bigotry, stupidity, and … what's the opposite of talent?

Neoyorquino October 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Projecting much? Something tells me that when he isn't tickling the ivories, William Tapley dreams of pulling a train with Romney and Ryan.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

…putting the honky in honky-tonk.

calliecallie October 5, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Holy Crap! LOL so lame!

kyeshinka October 5, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Richard Dreyfus isn't aging too well is he?

Isyaignert October 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Who is this guy trying to reach – five year olds?

Isyaignert October 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Everybody knows if you want to move forward you put it in "D" and if you want to go backward you put it in "R".

SheriffRoscoe October 5, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Why am I laughing when this makes me so fucking sad.

keinsignal October 5, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Best Tim & Eric sketch yet.

lochnessmonster October 5, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Holy crap!

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 5:03 pm

It's October in California, which reminds me of our state motto: "Cure marijuana, not gays".

valgal2342 October 5, 2012 at 6:04 pm

If that train would have run right over this guy at the end that would have been the BEST!

(Somebody probably already said this above but I'm late for the pub and posting without reading them all)

HelmutNewton October 5, 2012 at 6:18 pm

William Tapley rentboy scandal in 3,2,1…

Oh, wait. Nevermind. No one cares about this loser.

MilwaukeeKent October 5, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Am I the only one who hears crickets, actual crickets, while he's playing? I finally figured out it's the soundtrack from the train video.

Self-Uploader October 5, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I thought it was funny till he used the word oral at which point I got a sick.

Ktvp October 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I had a very clever comment but forgot my password, because I never comment. After the passive/aggressive password reset instructions.."choose something that is easier to remember." (Chews this you virtual asshole) I forgot the comment…something involving Lionel trains and Stephen Colbert in old face.

editor October 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

is the 'R' train the bigger brother of the 'shortbus'?

JustPixelz October 6, 2012 at 10:42 am

I only heard the part where Michelle will leave him. Michelle: "Mrs Just Pixelz" PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT.

JustPixelz October 6, 2012 at 10:47 am

"Democrat train wrecks … hurt lots of folks"?

Poor fella forgot about 2001, when Dubya forgot to keep us safe. Also 2008 when Dubya's faith-based economic policies collapsed.

DahBoner October 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm
ttommyunger October 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Ted Nugent is not aging well.

Benny October 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

That dude is obviously begging for a big dick to play with,kinda like Bachmann.He should just come out already,I mean it would be way more simple for him that way.

IndianaKevin October 8, 2012 at 8:23 am

I bet his kids and grandkids are SO PROUD!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: