Great Beat, You Can Dance To It: Old Man Warbles Truths About Gay Obama Being Gay

  also defund the arts please

Well, somebody is on the R-train all right! Via our favorite Bogg, T, we have this fabulous old man singing about Barack Obama being the first gay president. (NOBODY TELL HIM ABOUT LINCOLN PLEASE, OR THE OTHER ONE, THE BACHELOR.) Anyway, this should be all the proof you need that the mysterious “Robyns” and “Hazels” who told WND that Barry Obama is a supergeigh were not just pulling things out of their definitely existing asses.

We feel like we have written about William Tapley before besides this one post, but if we did, we don’t seem to have bothered to type in his name. Ah, here is Newell, waxing poetic! At any rate, Mr. Tapley is a national treasure and we love him very much and if more people made videos of themselves standing in a forest screensaver and playing awesome synth and making up lyrics about the president getting blowjobs, this country would be even greater than it has always not ever not been!

Get on the R Train everybody, so you can defunk defund defunk Amtrak! (Also “the arts,” or whatever those pinko commie fag Andres Serranos want to call it, because it is 2012 so of course “Piss Christ” is still a thing.)

[Youtube, via TBogg]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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216 comments

    1. mwittier

      When the train went past him at the end, I so wanted someone to hit him with a big blast of air from off-camera.

      The rest of the time, I so wanted someone to hit him with a croquet mallet, from off-camera. Or on-camera, I'm not picky.

    2. Dr_pangloss

      The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse is not impressed with your so called "Green Screen" technology. He recorded his thoughts and image directly to your mind via the InterNets. He's just that powerful.

  1. Typodong3

    Im wondering how our first gay president managed to hide his gayness during the FIRST presidential election???

    1. MozakiBlocks

      Well duh, the LIBRUL Media knew this in 2008 but refused to report on it because they wanted Barry to win.

      Do I have to explain everything around here?

    2. StillGoinGreen

      No, no, no, he was Muslim during his first term, he is gay for his second. Thank GOD he doesn't get a crack at a third, or he might would be an abortion.

  2. PuckStopsHere

    I like that this guy is a R$money guy. He's got the intellectual heft befitting their supporters. Not to mention the artistic chops.

  3. SexySmurf

    This is the first song I've heard all year that doesn't feature Rihanna. But I'm sure she'll end up on the dub step remix.

  4. Yellerdawg

    Well, that totally convinced me. I think this guy wants to ride his "R" train straight up someone's dark tunnel in a bad way.

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Yeah, that's a hoot! I can see him on the patio, next to the pool, at the end of the snack table that everyone's avoiding…. especially the goth teenager who lives in the basement wondering where the fuck her earphones are…this is hell…

  5. Callyson

    Jesus, made it to sixteen seconds before my eardrums rebelled. Even Mittens sings better than this guy.

    1. Baconzgood

      It really is subtle and the delivery is warm and introspective with a slight lament like Nick Drake.

  6. belmontreport

    I liked that so much that I've now watched 3 of his videos! Apparently God is warning about the coming "end times" through sports. All things black and brown are stand ins for Obama. Please don't watch his videos.

    1. mwittier

      I liked the "Is the Last Pope (the next one, BTW) Evil or Good?" video best.

      At the beginning, he's all, "I'm not going to tell you what I think, or the three people I'm going to quote think, because I don't want to influence you…"

      And then five seconds later, his Pope fanboyness can't be contained, and he blurts out how of course he's a good Pope, sillies! He's so excited, it'd be adorable, except hate/superstition/mental illness and all.

  7. StillGoinGreen

    Stupid (R)'s, Obama once accidentally wore shoes with holes in them for a national photo shoot…Hah, proof otherwise!

  8. actor212

    I would never Tapley that, not even with Editrix's (latex) dick.¹

    ¹I assume it's latex, unless you have an allergy to latex, in which case please subsitute silicone.

  9. mavenmaven

    Dr. Freud might see a lot of wishful thinking and repression in Mr. Tapley's work.
    Tapley, come out of the closet already, you will finally be able to wear ladies clothing and move the way you really want to when you play your louche little cabaret songs!

  10. KeepFnThatChicken

    All aboard the Dunning-Krueger Express! Stops along this line include Dissonance, The Creation Museum, and Kook-a-munga.

    1. Mittaplasia

      On the way, be sure to stop for some gas at the moon; Newt might be looking for some company, mebbe?

  11. Typodong3

    Ok wait a minute, had to watch that again. No snark here, that guy is utterly rotten and evil. What a fucking douchebag. You can feel and see the racism and homophobia just dripping from his lily-white pores. This is the kind of bottom dwelling pond scum that makes it verrrry hard for me follow Christs' word to love thy neighbor. Can I make an exception just THIS once? Puleeeese??

    Anyways, he cannot even remotely keep a beat, maintain any sort of rhythm or timing. Ive seen dogs and cats yowling in pretend speech on you tube who sang better than this guy.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      Here's how you gain solace, my brother (or sister): Remember that every single person in the world who are praying for benevolence and wisdom for our leaders, including those who feign loving their neighbors, are talking to themselves.

    2. Negropolis

      I've seen this guy, before, and almost pity him, because he's surely not playing with a full deck. I think Stewart or Colbert did a piece on him a few years back.

    1. Typodong3

      And not a grazing kick that just stuns you for a sec and then a tiny wash of pain. No, this is the full frontal direct center kick, the kind that doesnt hurt at ALL for 5 seconds, then suddenly you find yourself lying on the floor in the fetal position as racking waves of agony trample your nervous system, sort of kick to the ears.

  12. Pragmatist2

    Here's an idea. Let's spread a rumor. Go to a Christian site and comment with one of these:
    "Some people say Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in."
    "Is it true that Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in?"
    ""Have you heard that Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in?"

    1. Pragmatist2

      Maybe it could say "Someone told me that Jerome Corsi says that Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Bible at his swearing in."

    2. LesBontemps

      "Some people say Romney will use the Book of Mormon rather than the Holy Bible at his swearing in."

      FTFY.

      1. Mittaplasia

        That would be the same Book of Mormon that will let him dig up your grandmother and BAPTIZE HER!

  13. mrpuma2u

    That song sucked Beluga whales. I want to sneak into this nincompoop's McMansion, open up his keyboard, savage it with a solder gun and then put it back together.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Fuck the soldering iron. Just drop a bunch of fresh St. Bernard turds in there and then button it back up.

      OK. A cup of cat piss, to re-etch the circuit board too.

  14. prommie

    Yeah baby its new avatar time in honor of Eisenhower here is Elizabeth Montgomery on a couch with stilleto heels and fuck yes this will only make sense to fakakta so fuck y'all.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Very nice, I thought it might would be the one where she's sticking her butt out so I could post the "Giving him oral, in the back hall…" lyric from this man's weirdly perved out trainwreck of an ode here. Ah well, Samantha is looking FINE!

    2. proudgrampa

      Well I, for one, appreciate an Elizabeth Montgomery in stilleto heels anytime.

      And no disrespect to Fakakta.

      1. prommie

        Elizabeth Montgomery is a thing. I don't know why, but she keeps appearing somehow lately. It may be a sign of the end times.

  15. Goonemeritus

    What is all this about the revered 42nd President of the United States Getting BJ’s from people other than Hillary? I don’t recall any scandal back then, did I miss something?

  16. TootsStansbury

    This r train is a few cars short, if you know what I mean.

    Are they now reduced to pointing and yelling "he's a gay!" Fucking hell.

  17. SexySmurf

    OT what's with the Newsmax headline widget shit over there above the blogroll? Is Wonkette really that hard up?

    1. sudsmckenzie

      I felt the same way when we had that insipid Cross Roads auto add up for a couple of weeks. I consoled myself with the thought Karl Rove was buying the first round at the Wonkette Drinky Thingies.

      1. SexySmurf

        If it helps I'll click on one of the links. Maybe the one about Mitt Romney's Health Secret: Fisting.

    2. MilwaukeeKent

      Hey, if it pays the rent — I don't know if anyone else had this, but a few weeks ago, when the GOP still had its heart and cash behind the idea of pirating disappointed Obama voters, whenever I went to Wonkette this soundtrack would start playing somewhere. I'd scan all the ads and couldn't find where this one was to shut it off until I finally found it down above the sitemeter and below the copyright notice. It did, however, convince me to make a donation to the Obama campaign. Don't think the ad meant to do that. I think it was an AFP ad.

  18. coolhandnuke

    Why do I suspect this guy has an elaborate Lionel train set in his basement with a dildo attached to the lead locomotive?

    1. Zango Crudmonger

      And when the missus is tucked in for the night, he slips into the basement, turns off the power and pulls that train himself, all night.

  19. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I swear we've seen this guy before. But I can't remember what crazy thing he was singing about then.

  20. Dr_Zoidberg

    This just makes me like Obama more. Not only is he the first African-American president, he's the first gay president too! Oh, my little liberal heart is just bursting with joy!

  21. tessiee

    Meh, old news.
    Everybody already knew Barry was gay.
    The latest gossip is that he dumped Lowell Turpin for everyone's favorite block jawed fuck tyrant, Levi Johnson.
    Get with the times, old man.

  22. HarryButtle

    Sorry, I'm listening to some John Hiatt and I'm not turning it off to click on that linky and listen to this dumbfuck.

  23. coolhandnuke

    Mental wounds not healing
    Life's a bitter shame
    I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
    I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train

  24. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I feel more comfortable believing this guy is a genius of satire, so please nobody attempt to convince me otherwise.

    1. YouFail4eva

      Believe me, I totally agree. Unfortunately, I'm fairly convinced that this dude clearly believes the line he's giving.

  25. Blunderthing

    "We hate the black folk–can't call 'em "nigs"–
    That would be racist. Where are my cigs?
    And here's some more strange Republican views:
    Guess who killed Jesus. I hear it was Jews.
    But I'm not racist. I like everyone.
    As long as they're rich and as long as they're white.
    I know that didn't rhyme. But, seriously.
    I'm stupid and strong. Tomorrow belongs to me."

  26. johnnyzhivago

    Can I ask an OT question… I don't watch much TV, but I've had MSNBC on in the office for a few days leading up to the election.

    WHAT THE FUCK IS "THE CYCLE" supposed to be??????

    Krystal Ball (is she an exotic dancer?) "Tourne with an accent grave???" The chick with the nerdy glasses – and she uses her initals???? WTF is this???? Do they talk or do they just all TWEET at each other???

    1. YouFail4eva

      /snark

      The Cycle is the period of time that a reporter gets to cream his pants at a breaking news story.

      /end snark

      The Cycle is just a 24 hour period while a story is new before it gets buried under a new mountain of bullshit. Sun rise, sun set.

  27. x111e7thst

    I'm pretty sure I used to hear this creep humming his tuneless little ditties in the St Marks Baths back when.

  28. C_R_Eature

    It seems to me that this Rapture thing they've been promising us all these years is way overdue.

  29. pdiddycornchips

    The beard is a tell. He's like a lot of tea baggers. They long for a return to the 1850's when no one paid taxes, lynching was considered a hobby and everyone had to shit in an outhouse.

  30. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Holy crap did that ever suck and I listened to the whole Philosophy of the World by The Shaggs.

  31. Juicy_Stalin

    I think the guy singing about letting Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney run a train on you isn't in any position to call someone gay

  32. OneYieldRegular

    Ol' '97 went in the wrong hole,
    Now there's blood on the tracks and
    Blood on the coal…

  33. pinkocommi

    This is too funny because MY gay-dar goes off for Romney.

    Let me be clear – Romney doesn't stike me as gay man. He strikes me as a closeted gay man.

  34. DahBoner

    So, it's true, the scourge of HEROIN knows no age boundaries.

    Why, you can see his track marks…

    //groan

  35. Neoyorquino

    Projecting much? Something tells me that when he isn't tickling the ivories, William Tapley dreams of pulling a train with Romney and Ryan.

  36. Isyaignert

    Everybody knows if you want to move forward you put it in "D" and if you want to go backward you put it in "R".

  37. Mittaplasia

    It's October in California, which reminds me of our state motto: "Cure marijuana, not gays".

  38. valgal2342

    If that train would have run right over this guy at the end that would have been the BEST!

    (Somebody probably already said this above but I'm late for the pub and posting without reading them all)

  39. HelmutNewton

    William Tapley rentboy scandal in 3,2,1…

    Oh, wait. Nevermind. No one cares about this loser.

  40. Ktvp

    I had a very clever comment but forgot my password, because I never comment. After the passive/aggressive password reset instructions.."choose something that is easier to remember." (Chews this you virtual asshole) I forgot the comment…something involving Lionel trains and Stephen Colbert in old face.

  41. JustPixelz

    I only heard the part where Michelle will leave him. Michelle: "Mrs Just Pixelz" PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT.

  42. JustPixelz

    "Democrat train wrecks … hurt lots of folks"?

    Poor fella forgot about 2001, when Dubya forgot to keep us safe. Also 2008 when Dubya's faith-based economic policies collapsed.

  43. Benny

    That dude is obviously begging for a big dick to play with,kinda like Bachmann.He should just come out already,I mean it would be way more simple for him that way.

Comments are closed.