JESUS THESE PEOPLE  5:00 pm October 5, 2012

Hero Rep. Paul Broun Takes Bible-Based Stand Against Hell-Spawned Lies of ‘Science’

by Doktor Zoom

Surprisingly, NOT a still from a David Lynch dream sequenceSpeaking in front of a wall of glassy-eyed dead deer to an audience of glassy-eyed Christians at last month’s 2012 Sportsman’s Banquet at Hartwell, GA’s Liberty Baptist Church, serial Obama-speech-boycotter Rep. Paul Broun (R-JesusJesusJesusland) single-handedly disproved evolution and the Big Bang, and embryology, for good measure, revealing that they are “lies straight from the pit of Hell.”

In an inexorable speech that is available in full on YouTube (but which we will mercifully summarize), Broun attributes his 2007 election to the direct intervention of the Lord Jesus Christ, shows slides of a Kodiak bear and a lion that he heroically shot, and tells a story about heroically shooting another lion in the face, explaining that “God directed that bullet, because if I’d missed, that lion would have been in the back of the truck with me and I’d have been clawed to death.” He even tells a story about his heroic deployment to Afghanistan for 31 days earlier this year as a member of the Naval Reserve, where he saw an Afghan soldier who’d been seriously injured by an IED but survived somehow. And what those awful injuries reminded him of, said Broun, was that the Bible tells us that human beings are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Broun knows this “as a physician,” and this line from Psalm 139:14 somehow proves that evolution is fake.

But did he learn that in college, or in med school? No. He was taught that

we all came from a ‘Big Bang,’ and we were trained in all this stuff about evolution…what I was taught in college and medical school and even high school that we went ‘from Goo to Zoo to You.’ And I believed that.

Broun even admits that after a religious upringing, he became (shudder!) an atheist, presumably because evolution taught him that he was a mere animal, and he was therefore a very “self-centered, prideful, egotistical human being.” This led to three broken marriages, bad investments, and a bankruptcy, which atheists are apparently especially prone to. Then he saw one of those John 3:16 guys on TV at a football game, which changed everything. Being a “scientist and medical doctor,” Broun demanded proof of God, and prayed, “If you’re real, show me! Show me by coming into my life…” and then, he says, God changed his life and saved him that very day! We are not sure we can get behind the experimental design, and Broun doesn’t even mention a control group.

Broun then explains that scientists are engaged in a vast conspiracy to hide the truth from the American people, because they hate God:

God’s word is true. I’ve come to understand that. All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell. And it’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior. You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says.

Beyond this incontrovertible proof, Broun also notes that as a legislator, he takes orders directly from God. The Bible, he says,

teaches us how to run our lives individually, how to run our families, how to run our churches. But it teaches us how to run all of public policy and everything in society. And that’s the reason as your congressman I hold the Holy Bible as being the major directions to me of how I vote in Washington, D.C., and I’ll continue to do that.

Following the thunderous applause for this line, Broun adds that

“Our Constitution was written by men that believed that! And in fact, the Counstitution’s written on Biblical principles — in fact, the three branches of government come right from Isaiah, Isaiah 33:22, go look it up!”

So we did! “For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; it is he who will save us.” Wow, that is probably the only time that judges, legislators, and executives have ever been mentioned together in any book ever! (A number of Christianist websites say that James Madison specifically cited this verse to the Constitutional Convention. You may be astonished to learn that there are no records of this.)

So, anyway, apparently we need to elect God for all legislative offices, and then get Him appointed to the Supreme Court. We also need to do something about those hell-spawned scientists.

Oh, also, you will be glad to know that Rep. Paul Broun, like Rep. Todd Akin, is a member of the the House Science Committee.

[TPM]

 

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{ 415 comments }

finallyhappy October 5, 2012 at 5:02 pm

The pit of Hell- that is one of the Directorates at the National Science Foundation

mrpuma2u October 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I would say the pit of hell is listening to this jeebus freak tool bloviate in front of a bunch of dead animal trophies.

glasspusher October 5, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I only say that when my grant proposals get turned down.

Terry October 5, 2012 at 9:29 pm

The actual pit of hell is a class called p-chem

jqheywood October 6, 2012 at 1:07 am

No. It's a class we called "orgo" (organic chem)

GunToting[Redacted] October 6, 2012 at 9:59 am

Let's not argue. You're BOTH right.

Terry October 6, 2012 at 10:50 am

Yeah, I suffered through two of those.

Swampgas_Man October 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

I used to live down the block from the Pitts of Hell. Lovely family.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:29 am

The Pit of Hell, you say? But, I've already been once to exurban Phoenix; isn't that punishment enough?

Toomush_Infer October 6, 2012 at 9:14 am

Um, no, actually – they moved it to The Smithsonian….

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Broun attributes his 2007 election to the direct intervention of the Lord Jesus Christ, shows slides of a Kodiak bear and a lion that he heroically shot, and tells a story about heroically shooting another lion in the face, explaining that “God directed that bullet, because if I’d missed, that lion would have been in the back of the truck with me and I’d have been clawed to death.”

May I be the first to say, "Fuck you, God"

docterry6973 October 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I blame a gimpy lion.

mrpuma2u October 5, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Another strong testimony for atheism. Thank you brother Broun.

OneDollarJuana October 5, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Obviously, as a “self-centered, prideful, egotistical human being” he realized that it wouldn't be fair to the atheists to remain an atheist, so he became a “self-centered, prideful, egotistical human being" religionist, and was welcomed into the flock.

starfanglednut October 5, 2012 at 6:05 pm

God is such a dick.

OneDollarJuana October 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Well, three dicks. Father dick, Son dick, and Holy Ghost dick.

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Holy Ghost Dick, Batman!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 6, 2012 at 8:19 am

Oh you Catholics!

Schmannnity October 5, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Everybody knows that to stop a charging lion, you take away his credit cards.

Karma_Suture October 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Toomush_Infer October 6, 2012 at 9:15 am

Oh, Lord, if you can't help me, for goodness sakes, don't help that lion….

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

You're almost certainly not the first to say "Fuck you, God", but I personally feel that it cannot be said enough times.

emmelemm October 5, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Rep. Paul Broun, like Rep. Todd Akin, is a member of the the House Science Committee.

An arm of the Ministry of Truth, for sure.

glasspusher October 5, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Holy shit. We live in a democracy, not a meritocracy, that's fer sher

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:04 am

I imagine they serve double-duty in the Ministry of Love, too.

fuflans October 6, 2012 at 1:19 am

me, i'm thinking ministry of magic

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 11:52 am

Oh, I'd just love to see Denholm Elliot deliver parts of this speech.

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 5:04 pm

OT, Tweety is destroying Jack Welch.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Welch stepped down as head of GE, so he's safe. It's like punching hippies.

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 5, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I'm watching! And I rarely watch Tweety.

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I only watch Jack on 30 Rock, and thats too much, he should just die, with or without votes.

Callyson October 5, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Good–I know I always get my guidance on job creation from Mr Layoffs.

Crank_Tango October 5, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Sounds like he ran out of juice for his mind grapes…

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:04 am

I was glad that the entire cast and crew of MSNBC took this guy to task, today. They were on him like the quickness. Whatever you think of the network, they sure as hell work quickly.

PsycWench October 5, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Wow, atheism has worked out much better for me. But then, I'm not a complete idiot.

WhatTheHeck October 5, 2012 at 5:23 pm

So you didn’t go for the one about the snake being the downfall of woman which led to the downfall of man?

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Upfisted, for "My Thoughts Exactly." But Shorter.

Simple J Malarkey October 6, 2012 at 12:32 am

I'd feel a lot safer with you rather than Broun as my physician, too.

SnarkOff October 5, 2012 at 5:06 pm

How worthwhile an education could he have had? Dude can't even spell "brown."

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Wait. He's Messican?

fartknocker October 5, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I'm sure Representative Braun would enjoy the Wonkette Sunday series on religious school books from the Bob Jones University.

DerrickWildcat October 5, 2012 at 5:06 pm

And Jesus said,"Take this here Chicken sandwich for it's like my flesh, and slurp on this Pecan Shake cuz it's like totally my blood." Lobotomy 4:10

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2012 at 2:48 am

Wonkette comment of the year.

Extemporanus October 6, 2012 at 3:57 am

Seconded.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 6, 2012 at 8:23 am

I would like to renounce my atheism with that comment.
All praise Chicken!

Toomush_Infer October 6, 2012 at 9:20 am

Tastes like chicken, anyway…

veritass October 5, 2012 at 5:07 pm

After I read the last line I said "oh, fuck me." It didn't work this time, but one of these times Wonkette is going to get me laid.

starfanglednut October 5, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Worked for Sorosbot and Misstaken, but the rest of us are still waiting.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 6, 2012 at 8:25 am

Pictures please.

PsycWench October 5, 2012 at 5:07 pm

So God saved him from a lion but let hundreds of Haitian children die in the earthquake? Pretty poor priorities there, God.

no_gravity October 5, 2012 at 5:10 pm

It's an American god.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 6, 2012 at 8:26 am

But made in China.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 5:15 pm

The Haitian children were poor, and not white, so God could give a flying fuck.

anniegetyerfun October 5, 2012 at 5:19 pm

As we all learned from Pat Robertson following the earthquake, Haiti brought it upon themselves by making a deal with the Devil in throwing the French out. If they had just stayed slaves like good little darkies, nothing bad would ever have happened to them.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-12017-5040

PhilippePetain October 5, 2012 at 5:45 pm

You would think that a bunch of poors fucking the French would be a bonus for American God, but who's to say.

WhatTheHeck October 5, 2012 at 5:37 pm

God is not so keen on the 47% of humans he created. He has a preference for the jerb creators. They are his kind of people.

JustPixelz October 5, 2012 at 6:39 pm

God is pretty much an "I'm made of rubber, you're made of glue" kind of all-powerful being.

glasspusher October 5, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Could god make a glue so strong that it wouldn't bounce off rubber?

Toomush_Infer October 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

Why, yes…yes he could -IF HE WANTED TO!!!!!…..

Biel_ze_Bubba October 5, 2012 at 5:07 pm

You have to wonder what the Constitution would look like, if the Framers had been able to foresee a Congress populated with whacked-out religious nutjobs like Broun. Would Jefferson, Madison, Franklin et al. have figured out a way to keep idiots out of office?

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Article 9 – Hemp shall be the national plant

docterry6973 October 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

If I recall, there were forces pushing for a more theocratic government, especially in New England, not then a bastion of tolerance. That's one reason why those Deists worked so hard to write a secular constitution. Another was that the horrors of the Thirty Years War were well understood. Of course, since the religious right likes the Founding Fathers, it has grafted all kinds of secret religious motivations onto them. Typical conservative lies.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Well, too, many of the northern colonies had been founded because they had been run out of England, like the Quakers and the Puritans. They understood that religion and politics do not mix.

Unlike us, they had attention spans back in the day.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I'm a big fan of Steven Waldman's Founding Faith, which is a very well-documented, even-handed discussion of how all that early religious grumping shaped the compromises that the Founders came up with.

Of course, it recognizes that it was a complex situation, so it's probably sinful to read.

docterry6973 October 5, 2012 at 8:10 pm

The Puritans did not seek religious freedom, they sought to establish a Puritan theocracy, which they did. The Qakers in Pennsylvania practiced tolerance, but thankfully we Keystoners got over that long ago.

glasspusher October 5, 2012 at 8:47 pm

This must have been after they found the Keystone Light.

viennawoods13 October 5, 2012 at 9:31 pm

The Puritans had no trouble combining God and Government- their God, their Government. No dissenters need apply. Which is why they hanged them some Quakers on Boston Common. (climbs down off soapbox)

MosesInvests October 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Quakers to be hanged, Jews and Catholics to be whipped from the colony, according to the laws of Massachusetts Bay.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:16 am

I wish that were true. Ask Rhode Island about the tolerance of the Massachusetts Puritans.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Feeding them to the lions seems kinda appropriate (because Bible, duh.)

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 6:32 pm

I'll bet Ben Franklin would have come up with an astounding marathon Drinking, Fornication and Pun contest.
And it would have worked.

Lascauxcaveman October 5, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Drinking. Fornication. Puns.

Ben Franklin sounds like the founding father of Wonkette.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Poor Richard's Blogge of Butt-feckfs

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Dok, this needs to be a Weekly Theme Post!

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"Poor Richard's Blogge of Butt-feckfs ",Fornication, and Heady Draughts of ƒtrong ƒpritƒ .

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Didn't Ben also write an essay consisting entirely of fart jokes?

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:07 pm

This led to three broken marriages, bad investments, and a bankruptcy,

And yet, he's still a Republican. You'd think he'd rethink that bit too

rickmaci October 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

If you took a look at his marriage and investment debt, my guess is you would find that his real personal redeemer is a Bankruptcy Court Judge.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Throw in a little closeted gay sex, and he would be the ultimate Republican.

glasspusher October 5, 2012 at 8:49 pm

They only do the stuff they rail about in public, so it seems he isn't into that at the moment…

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I'm pretty sure that, in order to rethink anything, you have to be able to think in the first place.

Yellerdawg October 5, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Deep down, the Rep's know that their only chance of surviving another decade is to drag us into a new dark age where no one asks questions. So Broun is an MD who thinks God does it all? Has he stopped prescribing treatment and recommended prayer for all things? Hypocrite.

mrblifil October 5, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Yeah I wonder how he explains resistant bacteria to his lucky patients?

AbandonHope_ October 5, 2012 at 8:32 pm

It's God's plan that they die painfully, of course. God designed the killer bacteria to punish atheists or liberals or commies or gheyz or non-whites or whatever. Probably all of them, Katie.

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

His entire medical practice is based on house calls. How much real medical work is done at a house call. Little.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:20 am

Church of Christ, Scientist libel!

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 5:13 am

Unpossible.

vmink October 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm

No — Hypocritic Oath!

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 5:09 pm

…what I was taught in college and medical school and even high school that we went ‘from Goo to Zoo to You.’ And I believed that…

At Bourn's next speech I'm going to dress up in a gorilla costume and throw my poop at him.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 5, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I actually love this- goo to zoo to you. It's brilliant. Totally using it.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Be careful! He might shoot you in the face!

LesBontemps October 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Throw mine, too.

Gleem McShineys October 5, 2012 at 5:41 pm

ZOO GOO TO YOU, TOO!

RufusTFirefly October 6, 2012 at 11:50 am

Why even bother with the costume?

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 5:10 pm

So. It was like a Kodiak moment for him?

glasspusher October 5, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I'll remember this "Wacky Packages" card from my childhood forever:

Koduck: film for ducks. A foul picture every time. Koduckolor- "watch the birdie!"

Indiepalin October 5, 2012 at 5:10 pm

The three stages of government, according to Isiah, were Curley, Larry and Moe

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Stage 4: Schemp (which Bourn is firmly implanted)

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Stage 5: The fall of JoeBesser

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Stage 6: Curly Joe The Wrath of Biden.

Indiepalin October 5, 2012 at 5:27 pm

When I was six, my dad took me to see the Stooges on their final tour. I shook hands with Moe & Larry and luckily missed the clammy paw of Joe DeRita

Monsieur_Grumpe October 6, 2012 at 8:31 am

I never would have washed that hand again.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I liked the 1970's stooges with Iggy Pop, some Search & Destroy, perhaps.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 6, 2012 at 8:33 am

I saw Iggy in a bar in downtown Detroit. There was no furniture in the whole bar and he rocked.

Mittaplasia October 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I saw him in a crumbling old hotel in St. Louis with an open bar & cheap drinks. Bartenders loved the crowd because no matter what booze they ran out of, it was no big deal.Good times!

ChrisM2011 October 5, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Ah, the old deer head town hall meeting… Very popular in the south.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 8, 2012 at 12:48 am

"All those in favor, raise an antler. Motion passed."

Robman2 October 5, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Intoned as Benicio Del Toro's character after they knock off Saul: "Looks like a lot of Bambi, to me. Shit", from the Usual Suspects.

mirrorballdc October 5, 2012 at 5:11 pm

All those deer heads were stuffed and mounted in just six days. True story.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 5:35 pm

The deerly departed?

starfanglednut October 5, 2012 at 6:10 pm

This comment has me stuck in the headlights!

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 5:46 pm

He mounted 'em BEFORE they got stuffed, right? More lifelike?

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 1:55 pm

As told by Paul Ryan.

StillGoinGreen October 5, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Their eyes are glassy because some fucktard shot them, then took them to another fucktard, who cut out their eyes and replaced them with glass. I am speaking about the deer, but thinking about the christians…

vulpes82 October 5, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Why do I have the feeling that this guy was a “self-centered, prideful, egotistical human being" before, during, and after atheism?

whatupirondog October 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Duh! Atheists are totally that way!

Incidentally, did you know that Jesus loves you and the Almighty Creator Of All Existence has a special plan for your life? I have some brochures if you want them!

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:24 am

I've got a clue I can spare you if you want one!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 5:12 pm

If scientist are so smart, how do they explain that on every foot of every animal it says "(c) 4004 BC, God" on it.

deanbooth October 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm

How did he know that? Back in the BCs, nobody knew what year it was.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm

We're talking God. He surely knew when he planned to knock up Mary.

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 5:16 am

Wait. Is that next to the Dharma Initiative trademark?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Next time I get a speeding ticket, I think I will inform the Judge that God doesn't believe in their lasers and ideas of motion over time.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

“If you’re real, show me! Show me by coming into my life…” and then, he says, God changed his life and saved him that very day!

I'd be afraid to ask how.

I mean, I've led a very fortunate life and on at least three separate occasions I can think of, I was so lucky it seemed like someone was watching over me. But I'm pretty sure I would never attribute it to some prayer I sent up because that would be prideful, thinking God feels I'm so important that my word is His command, and if the Bible teaches us anything, pride goeth before a very very hard fall.

I wonder if Broun realizes what he's in for?

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 2:03 pm

"prideful, thinking God feels I'm so important that my word is His command"

Homer (praying): Oh, Lord God, please fix the plumbing in the kitchen sink. Then, take some time off for yourself.
Marge: Homer, you can't just keep pestering Almighty God.
Homer (childishly): Can and will.

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

It's this kinda guy that was holding the matches when the Library of Alexandria was burning.

mrblifil October 5, 2012 at 5:33 pm

While masturbating to the last good porn.

SorosBot October 5, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Why does Jesus always pick such stupid followers?

starfanglednut October 5, 2012 at 6:14 pm

They pick him. Poor Jesus is in heaven with his face in his hands.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:26 am

Jesus must now realize this is what you get when you find a stranger in the Alps. Bless his heart, always walking around yammering on about his father's house having many rooms. I bet he didn't think they'd all want to come over at once.

viennawoods13 October 6, 2012 at 8:23 am

He was out of his element.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Damn. We of the Vast Scientific Community let one get away? I call an Executive Meeting of Wonkette Scientists to discuss this ongoing problem. When we let one of these guys get away, they breed like wild lions. I suggest we repair to the nearest watering hole and ponder the matter while examining the effects of mass quantities of Demon Gin on the human brain.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 5:37 pm

It is frightening how many MDs toss science out-the-window after they get their license. I prefer shamans myself. Better success rate.

PsycWench October 5, 2012 at 7:26 pm

A virtual drink think might be in order.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Cheers!

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Eh… if he was so eager to blithely give up 4000 years of painstakingly acquired human knowledge, experience and methodology for a comforting 19th century superstitious fantasy , I say let him go.
He was always kind of an asshole anyway.

Joshua Norton October 5, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Rep. Paul Broun, like Rep. Todd Akin, is a member of the the House Science Committee

The 2 Bozo's of the Apocolypse

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:16 pm

that lion would have been in the back of the truck with me and I’d have been clawed to death

Say, this lion…she got a phone number?

OneYieldRegular October 5, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Careful, tiger.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Aw, I'm sure she's a pussycat. I won't be in any leopardy if I try to de-panther

starfanglednut October 5, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Watch out, she's got a lotta pride.

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 6:48 pm

She's a puma.

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 2:05 pm

ttommyunger and his el camino are wayyyyy ahead of ya.

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 2:05 pm

What, there aren't enough cougars around here for ya?

skmind October 5, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old

FUCKING Muslim!

Everyone knows the Earth is only 6,000 years old. These OECs are what's wrong with Jesusland!

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I do not hate myself enough to go watch that video, but the frame above strongly suggests that the deer heads at some point come to life, their ruminant teeth tearing at his clothing and their pitchfork-sharp antlers pricking his skin in scores of wounds, his screams for an absent God creating the horrible soundtrack as their leaping hooves drag him down to the depths of the very Hell he feared the most.

James Michael Curley October 5, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I saw that video in the early 80's. It's called "The Deer Hunter II; Bambi's Revenge." Stars Sylvester Stallone as a homeless Vietnam Veteran who gets stuck in a rising reservoir and beaten by a couple red necks driving a car with a Confederate Flag painted on it.

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 11:00 am

I always liked Marv Newland's classic "Bambi Meets Godzilla"

(make sure you scroll down to the top-rated comment. It's actually quite sweet!)

James Michael Curley October 7, 2012 at 5:06 am

That was one of the earliest vids I downloaded after I succumbed to the applications that continuing to use an old ADM-29 monochrome monitor was some kind of educational deprivation to my child.

Stevola October 6, 2012 at 2:35 am

I like the way you think.

Typodong3 October 6, 2012 at 10:42 am

That was actually quite scary.

DerrickWildcat October 5, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Oh, and here's a baby animal that this weirdo didn't get a chance to shoot. http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/4667358

emmelemm October 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Hooray for a Friday cheering-up picture.

'Ees a little bandito in his black mask!

starfanglednut October 5, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Awwwwwwwww….

And btw, the turtle with the dragonfly on its nose is a remarkable picture. How did you catch that?

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 6:54 pm

That's just anerable

BlueStateLibel October 5, 2012 at 7:26 pm

One mighty cute fella and really beautiful shot. Wonkette needs to hire you as an antidote to posts like these.

DerrickWildcat October 6, 2012 at 2:23 am

Aw shucks, thanks folks. I can look at anyone of the several thousand shots I've saved and immediately remember where I took it and the back story to it. It's just imprinted in me brain.
True story:
A couple of years ago I noticed that some guy from Nebraska was getting some incredible shots of a Snowy Egret. Now a Snowy Egret is scarce around these here parts and I've never got a shot of one. I contacted him through Flickr and asked him where the heck he saw that coveted bird. We struck up a conversation and agreed to meet in a little town near the Kansas border and have a friendly photo safari. Apparently the Big Blue River (which is neither Big nor Blue…more like Chocolate milk) had flooded it's banks the year before and dumped oodles of Shad, Catfish, Bullhead and Carp into an adjacent pond. This pond was essentially a vending machine for fish eating birds. American Pelicans, Snowy Egrets, Great Egrets, Great Blue Herons, Green Herons, Belted Kingfishers were all gorging on fish at this little pond. It was amazing. So anyway, my new friend looked exactly like what you would expect of a rural Eastern Nebraska Guy. Pickup, Seed corn hat, boots, plaid shirt, hoodie and blue jeans. He struck me more as a guy that would rather shoot birds than take pictures of them. I'm an outdoorsy guy too, but I'm more of a fancy Patagonia outdoorsy guy. So I asked him, what got you into taking pictures of birds?
He said, "Years ago, I was a hunter, like pretty much everyone around here. One Morning I was out with some friends in a blind at the edge of a marsh waiting for the Sun to rise. As the Sun started coming up, everything was just Gold and Pink and still. It was absolutely Beautiful, it really made you think of the wonder of it all. The Ducks started getting up and flying and it was even more beautiful. Suddenly my buddies got up and started blasting away. I was paralyzed even though I've done this a hundred times before. But this time it really hurt me to see all this and I haven't hunted since. I'm not against hunting. I just won't do it myself. I guess I just see things differently now."
I would have never imagined that that would have come out of him and I still think about it every time I go out.

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 11:51 am

That is one hell of a story. Thanks!

I know I've said this before, but I ALWAYS look forward to your comments, both the off-kilter "guy-with-a-kitten-on-his-head-persona" short ones and the longer "real you" stories about taking pictures of boids.

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I saw the Goo Zoo You tour in '93. I'm not a big U2 fan but it was a neat concept.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 5:23 pm

And here I thought Goo Zoo You opened for The Wiggles

mrblifil October 5, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I fucked up and ended up going to KajaGooGoo instead.

starfanglednut October 5, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Didn't they play at lollapagooza?

emmelemm October 5, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Zoobamafoo?

LesBontemps October 5, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Zoobamofo.

Schmannnity October 5, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I am willing to admit that he is not evolved.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 6:11 pm

He was almost there, but then he slipped back into the goo.

WhatTheHeck October 5, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Oh deer. Put a gun in God's hand and watch out.

Hammiepants October 5, 2012 at 5:21 pm

So "Science Committee" must be some sort of euphemism for "Fucktard Fundies" then, correct?

shelwood46 October 5, 2012 at 8:40 pm

The GOPs running Congress are secretly hipsters and are making all committee assignments ironically.

AlterNewt October 5, 2012 at 5:21 pm

To all those who like to say that everything is part of God's plan:

Take a good fucking look around you.

PsycWench October 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm

God loves obesity!

AlterNewt October 5, 2012 at 10:51 pm

And PLASTIC, apparently.

GeorgiaBurning October 5, 2012 at 9:12 pm

God has a very sick sense of humor. He/She's not getting mellower with age, either.

AlterNewt October 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Yes. Sort of like George Carlin, only malicious, vindictive and not funny.

barto October 5, 2012 at 5:21 pm

At least the deer appear to be paying rapt attention to this wingnut.

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 6:06 pm

They are hearing all and taking names, and upon their own deeRapture, will be free to avenge those who did them wrong.

OneYieldRegular October 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

That someone like this can get a medical license scares me more than a charging lion.

fawkedifiknow October 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I believe this man gets his revelation directly from a hard blow to the head by a heavy object. Amen.

docterry6973 October 5, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I do so hate these people. House Science Committee. Wonderful.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 5:24 pm

All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell. And it’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior.

Why, certainly. Especially people that suffer through three broken marriages, bad investments, and a bankruptcy…

But here's the part I don't quite understand: If you're supposed to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, then why do you need a "savior?"

mull_man October 5, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Fun Fact: the Cambridge physicist credited with the Big Bang theory was a Catholic Priest. From Belgium.

Later, other priests misinterpreted Big Bang, and it was gross, also, And too.

vulpes82 October 5, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Abbe Lamaitre. Now there's a man who should be a saint!

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:31 am

Shut up, that's why.

Jerri October 5, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Almost got through today without wanting to let out a long, guttural moan of despair. Thanks, Dok! TGIF, Wonkette style!

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Whoohoo!! I WIN!!!!!!

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 5:24 am

Perhaps we should start grading Friday posts in laynes. I'd give this one about 400 millilaynes.

Jerri October 7, 2012 at 8:58 am

I am for this plan!

CrunchyKnee October 5, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Joja, where Mississippi looks, to feel "smart."

deanbooth October 5, 2012 at 5:26 pm

It's like a disease, isn't it?

rickmaci October 5, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Why isn't there ever a fucking bolt of lightning around when you need one?

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm

"Lies straight from the pit of Hell" seem to describe this guy pretty well, actually.

mrblifil October 5, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Somebody just ask him the male nipple question and be done with it.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Slugs! HE created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?

chascates October 5, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Then Why Do I Have Toenails?: How To Be The Best Atheist You Can Be.

Written by a guy I used to work with and is the funniest graphic artist you'll never meet. Incredibly lovely wife. It works out for some people.
http://www.amazon.com/Then-Why-Do-Have-Toenails/d

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Oh, also, you will be glad to know that Rep. Paul Broun, like Rep. Todd Akin, is a member of the the House Science Committee.

I wish legislation could be peer-reviewed.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Don't you mean "deer-reviewed"?

Troubledog October 6, 2012 at 11:41 am

Bachmann's on the intelligence committee. I think there's a rule to assign each congressman to the least suitable task.

Esteev October 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Well, we wouldn't want anything getting done, now would we?

deanbooth October 5, 2012 at 5:32 pm

With votives!

Edit: Your comment is gone! We're you smited?

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 6:50 pm

With votives? Can't hold a candle to that.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 5:32 pm

About time, Dok. We're only posted this very same articleThree Times over at Wonkville today!

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 5:50 pm

You're the Rosalind Franklin of Wonkette. ; (

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Elementary, my Dear Watson. Just a Crick of the Tail!

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 6:43 pm

You know who else is helical?
That's right, nautiloids.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Spiro Agnew – aka SpiroChaete?

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:23 pm

A Swine's Penis?

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I actually stumbled across it myself, but yes, thank you for the reminder to keep up to date with the Wonkville.

Also, something something Double Helix the Cat

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I think that article's contents simultaneously offended everyone across Wonksphere who saw it.

Synchronicity, or something like it.

GlowneyHouse October 5, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I get this all the time from the SC fundies about the government was formed on "biblical principles." I remind them that Isiah puts all the power in the control of one entity: therefore they should read it as “For Obama is our judge, Obama is our lawgiver ,Obama is our king; it is he who will save us." Basically, a dictatorship.

But they should be fine with that anyway. Jesus didn't claim he had returned to establish his Father's "Constitutional Democracy" or "Bicameral Republic."

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Some take the Bible for what it's worth,
when they say that the Meek shall inherit the Earth.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 5:51 pm

The MEAN shall inherit the earth…when will they ever correct that typo?

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Pope Ratzinger is On It.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Cudos C_R_Eature. You deserve a Phi Zappa Crappa key for that post.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 7:20 pm

If we are going to be honest, we might as well be Frank.

♫ ♬ Gimme, gimme, gimme it slowly baby a yeah ♫ ♬

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:25 pm

As long as we have Frank, we may as well bring along N Stein.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 7:47 pm

One of my life's greatest accomplishments was the fact that my very first rock concert was Frank Zappa, with Manfred Mann opening, at Cleveland Auditorium, circa 1974.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Many Humbled Thanks!

(I had that Poster! It Disturbed some people, strangely enough.)

mavenmaven October 5, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Hes more of a cretinist than a creationist.

AlterNewt October 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I have come to the inevitable conclusion that 'secular nation' does not mean what I always thought it meant.

PhilippePetain October 5, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Petition here! Let's harass the bum!
http://goo.gl/oQSvu

PhilippePetain October 5, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I would like to mention that someone actually singed as Doktor Zoom. If it really was said Wonketteer, you, sir, are my hero.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:15 pm

That would be me.

Mittens Howell, III October 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Dumb goes in, dumb goes out. Who can explain it?

James Michael Curley October 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm

That clip is Mitt Romney's version of the Sesame Street Classic, "One of these things is not like the other … "

Mittens Howell, III October 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm

47% of deer believe in evolution. FACT.

Gleem McShineys October 5, 2012 at 5:48 pm

God, who one time was said to have written down "THOU SHALT NOT KILL" into some stones, recently took time out from chiseling the new asterisk after it and a long wordy exception paragraph about which creatures were not covered by this decree, to direct a bullet into the face of a magnificent lion.

Jus_Wonderin October 5, 2012 at 5:50 pm

JESUS!!!

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I guess he was "completely wrong" before.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 5, 2012 at 5:53 pm

"Oh, also, you will be glad to know that Rep. Paul Broun, like Rep. Todd Akin, is a member of the the House Science Committee."

Oh deer god.

ManchuCandidate October 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Hate the science sin, love the products of said science sin.

Guppy October 5, 2012 at 7:58 pm

There are no guns in the Holy Bible!

DahBoner October 6, 2012 at 10:39 am

There is no Fox News in The Bible, also to.

gunnergoz October 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

We get the politicians we deserve.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2012 at 2:57 am

Unfortunately, we ALL get the politicians only Georgia deserves.

AlaskaGrrl October 5, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Remember when people like Broun was that wild eyed crazy ranting on a street corner, that you mother would admonish you from making fun of, because "There but for the grace of God go you and I"?

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Enough with the bath salts in the drinking water, already; Calgon, take me away from this madness!

Maman October 5, 2012 at 6:07 pm

So this is how the Roman Empire fell, eh?

vulpes82 October 5, 2012 at 9:20 pm

It all went downhill once they stopped feeding the lions fresh Christian.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2012 at 2:58 am

Not with a whimper, but with a bang from a shotgun wielded by an NRA member.

owhatever October 5, 2012 at 6:10 pm

The devil replied in an e-mail from the pit of hell. "Broun–God says he doesn't love you because you broke your marriage vows too many times. He traded you to me for a box of warm brimstone. Your private BBQ awaits, Bubba."

HelmutNewton October 5, 2012 at 6:13 pm

All this right-wing stupid is leaving me too exhausted to even snark…

ElPinche October 5, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Yeah this is too much. I'm also snarkless.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Relax. We've got your back.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2012 at 2:59 am

Yes, we had a heavy load of teh crazee today, didn't we.

trampndirtdown October 5, 2012 at 6:16 pm

James Mountain(of shit) Inhoffe approves this message.

cmdenton47 October 5, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Romney's Secretary of the Interior!

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2012 at 3:01 am

You know that thing about atheists and foxholes … well, that thought of yours is enough to send me into sincere prayer to a god I don't even believe in.

LibrarianX October 5, 2012 at 6:18 pm

suddenly concerned that my atheist lifestyle will only lead to doom. Or football inspired faith – or both.

LibrarianX October 5, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Who killed Bambi?

RawhideRawlins October 5, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Please hurry back Jebus, and take care of these (your) people.

Dashboard Buddha October 5, 2012 at 6:23 pm

"Bible tells us that human beings are “fearfully and wonderfully made."

Meanwhile Yossarian learned Snowden's secret.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm

"I'm cold. I'm cold."

weejee October 5, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Catchy that.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:24 pm

It was a terrible secret.

(I was so blown away when I found out that Heller was borrowing from Hamlet with that "ripeness is all" stuff…)

Chow Yun Flat October 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm

how to run our families

The mind reels trying to comprehend how terrible it must be for members of his family–a family that he runs.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:14 pm

It probably requires frequent use of the Rod of Correction.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:37 am

Well, this is the state that gave us Deliverance, so I imagine the Rod of Correction would be used quite liberally by Broun.

TootsStansbury October 5, 2012 at 6:30 pm

So I heard somewhere that when Ronald Reagan closed down all of those mental institutions, he actually had a plan that some of the intended inhabitants would be elected to public office! It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 6:36 pm

…Ronald Reagan closed down all of those mental institutions, he actually had a plan that some Most of the intended inhabitants would be elected as Republicans to public office."

It was the Republican Farm Team! Now that's taking the Long View.

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 5:31 am

Sorry, the notion that Ronald Reagan had a plan fails the simplest sanity check.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Okay, then, Nancy Reagan had th plan and Weekend-at-Bernie's it into fruition.

pdiddycornchips October 5, 2012 at 6:33 pm

“God directed that bullet, because if I’d missed, that lion would have been in the back of the truck with me and I’d have been clawed to death.”

God choose poorly.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:34 pm

And as we know from the old golf joke and Hurricane Katrina, He has lousy aim.

Guppy October 5, 2012 at 7:59 pm

God chose poorly with votes!

DahBoner October 6, 2012 at 10:49 am

More importantly, God choose a Black President, because this guy…

toughsister October 5, 2012 at 6:36 pm

No wonder the United States is the laughingstock of Europe with idiots like Broun in positions of power. And "Fuck Europe" can only go so far.

LibrarianX October 5, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Uh, please tell me this guy isn't really a doctor.

Guppy October 5, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I'm so glad that men who disbelieve bacteria evolve a resistance to penicillin can still get a medical license.

I'd sooner get medical advice from Jenny McCarthy.

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 5:32 am

At least the sideboob would be better.

Blueb4sinrise October 5, 2012 at 6:52 pm

DAMN. I hope I didn't miss all the Friday upfisting!!! I'd better type something clever and Wonkpropriate………errrrrrrr………ummmmmmmm………

BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 5, 2012 at 7:01 pm

That's it, I'm burning bibles for heat this winter.

johnnyzhivago October 5, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Neutron Jack on Hardball….

My two favorite jobs of all time were ruined by Jack Welch when he bought RCA and Hurricane Carly Fiorina when she saved HP from itself.

Could this be why I hate Mitt Romney?

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 7:05 pm

With all of those deer antlers, you'd think he'd get to the point.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Perhaps he's too horny.

BTWBFDIMHO October 5, 2012 at 7:06 pm

From which part of the Bible comes the Electoral College?

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:22 pm

The Book of Anachronisms?

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 5:34 am

I think it's Revelation, with the beast with seven heads and seven horns.

Typodong3 October 5, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I dont understand whats so wrong with believing in evolution guided and shaped by the divine? Why does it have to be a soulless, spiritless wasteland of random molecules on one hand, and some magic hocus pocus on the other? Whats wrong with a beautiful, happy medium?

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 7:18 pm

If I'm not mistaken, that is the Catholic Church's position, as well as that of many reasonable Protestant denominations. In other words, the fiery, sulfurous mendacity flowing from the thousand burning teats of Beelzebub Himself!!

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:21 pm

You'll be astonished to know that elsewhere in the speech, Broun says that members of these sects (those that think that "sprinkling some water on an infant" is a real Baptism) are headed straight to Hell, too.

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 7:28 pm

It is such a blessing to have witnessed them forming a plan in the '80s, and seeing it come to fruition in the fullness of time (installing a Theocracy in the United States that even a Blow Job Queen like Sally Quinn would defend)! Alongside Grover Norquist's genius as a long-range planner of Anti-Tax Tyranny, I would have to say that Liberals pretty much suck at coming up with a plan to create the kind of country they want to live in.

pdiddycornchips October 5, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Well, he's probably right about that. At least the guys doing the sprinkling.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Because that would make the Book of Genesis an allegory, not Literal Historical Fact, which most Christians don't have a problem with at all, but which quite a few are certain would Destroy Faith.

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 7:33 pm

I tell you, midway through college when I finally got to some books that explained that fundamentalist literalism was not the only, or even the dominant version of Christianity, my mind was kind of blown. To get out of that dualism of my upbringing where there was only science or literally-true Scripture, was really liberating. Still didn't feel much like being a Christian, but I didn't necessarily have to feel like an anti-Christian all the time.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I prefer Einstein's thoughts on the matter:

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people; first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy.

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

A human being is part of a whole, called by us the "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest -a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Only a life lived for others is worth living.

–Albert Einstein

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Albert Einstein never accepted Jesus as his personal savior, so Albert Einstein burns in Hell.

vulpes82 October 5, 2012 at 9:22 pm

No, Einstein is in Heaven, playing dice with God.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I dunno, according to Kilgore Trout's "Asleep at the Switch," Einstein has a beef with God, or at least with the angelic middle-managers running things Up There.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 9:26 pm

No, I am sure that Einstein is on Kolob, having been baptized after death by the Mormons.

Barrelhse October 5, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I know a beautiful, happy medium.
She talks to my great-aunt Mae from the other side.

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2012 at 9:40 pm

So which part of evolution requires a god to explain it? Which part of math, physics, plate tectonics, podiatry, animal husbandry, or telemetry, for that matter, require god to explain them?

We don't inject god into such things because then we don't have, for example, physics — we have physics plus faith. Evolution plus god isn't evolution — it's evolution plus god. Do we say that two plus two equals four except if god wills it otherwise? No, of course not — because the addition of a factor that can change anything at any time naturally diminishes consistency, and scientific analysis would be completely impossible under such circumstances.

The fact that we have a universe that acts in comprehensible, ascertainable, understandable ways means we don't require god for science. And that our scientific understanding is, in fact, much clearer without god.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Actually, it's not that hard to find goofballs who insist that it's only God's power that holds atoms together. Here's one: http://www.equest4truth.com/DrMartin.html

SayItWithWookies October 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Doctors and engineers — some of them are the best-educated stupid people you will ever meet. I don't know how so many of them can miss out on critical thinking in college, but somehow they do.

I must say though, I like his use of the "missing mass" problem, oblivious of how it works against him. When cosmologists noticed the missing mass it was because certain observations didn't correlate with other observations, and have sought out evidence-based explanations to reconcile the two — they did not, as a theist might, decide that the missing mass wanted science to come to it through faith rather than evidence.

Oh, and science is actually on its way to accounting for the missing mass, after a few decades of searching. Religion, on the other hand, is still making excuses for the missing deity some four thousand years after we noticed it was gone.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Sounds to me like you've been missing Mass, son.

(Actually, one of my proudest edits to anything on the Internet is still up. the original question was something boring like "Protestants have services or meetings, but not Mass.")

Typodong3 October 6, 2012 at 11:04 am

It is not that evolution REQUIRES a God to explain it. The very scientific foundations of evolution require that endless combining of genes shaped by environmental and behavioral factors over enormous periods of time. Rather, it is that having a God involved in that very same long term process is a wonderful way to explain and celebrate the sheer beauty and spirituality of mankind, and is a fantastic counterpoint to the all or nothing of the rigid scientific or pure religious views. In any case, to me, there is no magic, there are no miracles, there is only science that we dont understand yet… which opens up a lot of possibilities.

Chet Kincaid_ October 6, 2012 at 11:07 am

Science doesn't "understand" everything, and is always a work in progress. Out at the edges of scientific knowledge, some things are fundamentally unpredictable, are they not? The biggest human problem is acknowledging and living with the things that are not-yet-knowable or unknowable, without turning science into religion or religion into science.

Dashboard Buddha October 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Chris Smithers had it right…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGvsmGe3CYM

"God said: "I'll make some DNA"
They can use it any way they want
From paramecium
Right up to man."

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:40 am

Whats wrong with a beautiful, happy medium?

And I ask you, what's wrong with the beautiful, observable, and measurable truth?

Non-literalist Christians when it comes to the beginning of the universe are definitely preferable to the literalists, but we're talking better in the sense of degree, not magnitude.

Typodong3 October 6, 2012 at 11:07 am

Ahh and that's the rub, isn't it? Is the main problem with God, that hes not measurable with our current scientific tools? And is that a problem with God, or us?

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

If God is measurable, it's simply a part of the universe, and not supernatural, at all. And, that is most certainly a problem with a so-called God and not us, which is an odd and moral way to try and frame it, BTW.

I'm not going to go further into apologetics, with you. It's a ridiculous discussion that I'm very familiar with.

Typodong3 October 6, 2012 at 10:38 pm

No need to get nasty with me. I thought it was an interesting conversation, I enjoy differing viewpoints. Im sorry you feel so threatened! One last thing, however. God, in my mind, IS us. We are God, God is us, we are inseperable and eternal. Thus, any discussion of one, is about both. We are, in truth, One. Have a nice day!

DahBoner October 6, 2012 at 10:51 am

This guy should learn about String Theory. Basically, our universe was created by another Universe fucking us…

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 11:56 am

That would really explain a lot.

I for one would go for coffee every week at the Church Of We're Fucked.

Naked_Bunny October 5, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Nothing says "modesty" like claiming that your pal, the omnipotent creator of the universe, personally got you a job.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Unsurprisingly, when asked today if he supported the extinction of Big Bird, he said, "I would heroically shoot the wild animal in the face. Otherwise it could end up in the back of the truck and peck me to death!"

chascates October 5, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Uh, embryos are actually things that exist. There are animal and plant embryos. ALL OF US WERE ONCE EMBRYOS!!!!!!

I hope he was one of those doctors who went into the financial aspect of it and never were personally responsible for human lives.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 8:14 pm

From his Wiki page it says he was a "house call" doctor. Whatever the fuck that is. I'm thinking the old joke here chas:
What do you call the dumbest person in a medical school (and a bottom tier one for that matter) class?

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 8:22 pm

What is "At 2 in the morning", Alex?

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Go to the ER….its free!
BTW, the answer to the above question is definitely not ER docs. They is quite competitive as a speciality.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Those ER Docs (and Nurses) must have nerves of steel and serious adrenalin kicks. I'll bet it's a young persons game and they age out quick too.
While they're on they are probably awesome.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Yeah, I assume that the slam at embryology is shorthand for the creationist meme that Ernst Haekel's embryo drawings are still actually used as evidence for evolution (they aren't, of course). It's one of those things that they simply will not give up, like the notion that the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics proves that evolution is impossible.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Why give up a good trick when it keeps working on the rubes?

Now, the people trying to manipulate genetics to reverse-engineer Wooly Mammoths from elephants or Dinosaurs from Chickens might give Creationists pause. Or at least require some fancy mental footwork.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

the recapitulation story, i.e. Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny.
As interesting as the Rosalind Franklin story from a scientific history standpoint.

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 10:45 am

And as the Creos fail to acknowledge, when Haekel's embryo drawings do turn up in modern textbooks, they're used as historical examples of how evolutionary theory developed, not as the current state of research.

Chet Kincaid_ October 6, 2012 at 11:18 am

So, from reading this link and other stuff you guys have posted, the old "ontology recapitulates phylogeny" thing is long-dead, but embryology still reflects evolution through the activation of particular switches at particular times in the development of the embryo? (I do not have a scientific background, but as I've mentioned, I have followed these issues as a layman as a result of my religious upbringing.)

rocktonsam October 5, 2012 at 7:53 pm

God really does have a sense of humor.

emmelemm October 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm

A sick sense of humor.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I wouldn't start any blasphemous rumours if I were you.

chascates October 5, 2012 at 7:58 pm

AND GOD DAMN IT I'm watching the end of PBS Newshour and they're running their weekly photo slide of the recent deaths in Afghanistan. Tonight was 9 with 1 woman. Mostly mid-20s but their almost twice weekly list of deaths include 18-55+.

This bible-bleating, flat-earther is exactly the type of dangerous lunatic who wants to get us all into a great battle against the heathens. It would be great if he and his gang would crusade against Satan's Muslims but only if they fought them personally, with only things available during the last period of crusades, and do the entire battle in the most remote, unpopulated place available. The Moon would be great.

DemmeFatale October 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

That part always breaks my heart. No matter what their ages, I always wonder about lives just beginning or their children, wives, parents, etc.

Schmegeg October 5, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Dear Rep Broun: Wherever you came from, your Mom says that the bank wasn't so Big.

ElPinche October 5, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I thought at some point all the those mounted deer would start maniacally laughing ala Evil Dead II

chascates October 5, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Sheesh! I'm glad I just had a couple of bowls before I saw that. Never saw the movie.

ElPinche October 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Great horror comedy….way funnier than Broun clown.

Blueb4sinrise October 5, 2012 at 8:30 pm

More SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!
[just liquid nitrogen and ping- pong balls, but that's all I gotz]
http://scholarlykitchen.sspnet.org/2012/10/05/i-w

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Oh, sure, he claims it was "an expanding gas," but it was clearly a small demon being defeated by angels.

dennis1943 October 5, 2012 at 8:41 pm

If these folks prevail,the the discussion will revolve around "how many angels can fit on the head of a pin"………..does this mean we can use the perjorative "pinhead"….?

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Can I just say that even as someone from a state where hunting is damn-near a religion, and where schools in the northern part of the state actually close down on the opening day of deer season, that the background in the picture above freaks me the hell out?

vulpes82 October 5, 2012 at 9:22 pm

My family hunts, and they even have a few deer heads, but damn! That wall's just creepy.

DemmeFatale October 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

I agree.
It is so mean and excessive. As if to say: "In your face! We'll kill as many deer as we want!" (Neener, neener!)

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

He certainly is one scary looking dude.

lumpenprole October 5, 2012 at 8:46 pm

"I must save this brutal idiot from his trophy kill gone wrong" and, behold, it was done.

littlebigdaddy October 5, 2012 at 8:50 pm

He hates the Big Bang Theory? He must be ghey, b/c Penny does it for me every time!

Sharkey October 5, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Dok Zoom + Jesus + Science + Friday nite = … sigh …

Divide by Paul Broun all you want, it's the same.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Go watch the awesome video that BlueB4sinrise posted elsewhere, and you will feel better.

Maybe I should try to include a "science is real" (and COOL) link with all stories of this sort.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:45 am

Look up Jesus + Nothing.

Barrelhse October 5, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Holy Mudhead, Mackerel! More Science High- it's DISAPPEARED!!

chascates October 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Principal Poop should know what to do!

LACorvus October 5, 2012 at 9:18 pm

So does this mean I have to update my CV to read that I earned a Bachelor of Lies from the Pit of Hell?

Terry October 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell."

Sounds like sour grapes. I think he's stilled pissed off over his grades.

chascates October 5, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Well, I'll jump in and suggest math was created by the Cloven Hoofed One or at least it is for me. 0-9 AND letters in the alphabet? Weirdo symbols.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I blame the Arabs for a lot of it.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

I've come to realize that Paul Broun must have been the asshole who ran off the walkway and stepped on the butterfly in that time traveling Dinosaur Hunting expedition.

There's no other way to explain what the Republican party has been transmogrified into.

Slim_Pickins October 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

So, Broun is god's auto-pilot?

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm

I like the bumper sticker that says "God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I ate him"

Native_of_SL_UT October 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I don't hold many religious doctrines, but one I hold dear is that I believe God would not approve of a hot piece of lead that flies faster than the speed of sound being used to kill one of his creatures.

Dashboard Buddha October 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

My brother-in-law used to brag about how he could pick off a deer from from his blind from a 1/4 mile away (I call bullshit, btw).

All I could think of is "where's the fucking sport in that?". While you're at it, why don't you just call in an airstrike to soften the area up first??

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I love the smell of bottled doe urine in the morning….

glamourdammerung October 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

If only he cared this much about the Commandments of his alleged faith. Particularly the one about bearing false witness.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

OT: I have stumbled across an older Jon McNaughton painting, "Via Dolorosa," which shows Jebus carrying the cross, surrounded by historical figures.

It is batshit crazy, of course.

In the explanatory essay below the painting, McNaughton states, "Today, Christians are the most persecuted people in the entire world."

This one includes a lot of figures from the arts, giving McNaughton the chance to disgust you with his proclamations about them, too. Bastard says Mark Twain was a faithful Presbyterian!

EDIT: McNaughton includes himself in the crowd. See if you can find him! (Still no Waldo, sadly).

el_donaldo October 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

I think McNaughton got Christianity totally right in this one. The guy in the center in the blue suit who McNaughton labels "Modern Christian" is also a Wall Street commodities trader trying to secure the top bid (see the hand signal?) for the broadcast rights for Jesus' execution.

AlterNewt October 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

In the McNaughton painting, Pope John Paul II is doing the Joe Scarborough "Oh, sweet Jesus" thing.

LibertyLover October 6, 2012 at 2:02 am

What a waste of talent.

ElPinche October 6, 2012 at 2:04 am

The fuck? I don't see a Kardashian or a Jenner!

I'm surprised McNutzNutz didn't paint Obama hugging Ahmadinejad or Castro.

viennawoods13 October 6, 2012 at 8:15 am

What I notice is how slowly the detailed descriptions scroll moves down- which just proves that if you have to move your lips when you read, you read very very slowly.

Heh. "Christmas and Easter supposedly had roots in Paganism." News flash, buddy: they did.

cheetojeebus October 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

This painting reminds me of a little episode from my youth. While pursuing my Undergrad fine art degree, there was a small coterie of devout xtians led by a young charismatic leader that made their presence known around the school. They were a group of about 5 maybe 6 kids. Their leader was a technically gifted kid who would sit in Life Drawing with his back to the nude model drawing tiny little silver point praying hands and such. They were well drawn but not what the professor (drunk most days and quite dramatically gay) required. The little preacher was quiet but had a very arrogant manner which was maddening. Anyway, schadenfreude arrived about 4 or 5 months into the semester when one of his young acolytes turned up pregnant out of wedlock. If I remember correctly his little band dispersed soon after? I don't have any memories of his presence the following year. While I didn't believe in much even then, I did have a strong aversion as now to hypocrisy. This Mcnaughton fellow seems to have followed a similar trajectory.

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm

lies straight from the pit of Hell

This sounded better in Broun's native German.

This must be in their manual, or something, because this particular phrase comes up a lot in Christianist talking points and arguments.

MissNancyPriss October 5, 2012 at 11:32 pm

I read too fast and thought this was some random loon. Then I saw it was an elected offical.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 12:02 am

"Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's"

This was Jesus speaking, but what the hell did he know, right? I mean, he was only the entity around which the entire faith was built, that's all.

Stevola October 6, 2012 at 12:17 am

John 11:35

mille derps October 6, 2012 at 12:47 am

Stephen K. Simpson is supposedly running against this chump, but his campaign web page expired a couple of days ago & he doesn't have an ActBlue page…

Simple J Malarkey October 6, 2012 at 1:01 am

"Stephen K. Simpson is supposedly running"

What does his LinkedIn profile say? Maybe he's too busy coaching girls high school tennis.

labman57 October 6, 2012 at 1:04 am

Well, the GOP placed Bachmann on the House Intelligence Committee, so …

Just another one of many reality-challenged politicians and pundits who have embraced ignorance of the modern world and a distrust of the well-educated.

For we certainly don't want our national leaders to be eloquent, scientifically literate, and generally well-informed about the world in which we live. Much better to derive scientific theories based on the cherry-picked passages taken from the Bible and to form national public policy based on the rumors, gossip, and unverified anecdotal accounts taken from online blogs.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:23 am

OT: An ad on my Wonkette page is imploring me to "Help Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan." I'll help them, all right; I'll help them right out of the door…with votes, honest-to-goodness printed ballots called votes.

It then teases "Lean more about early voting." Well, the only thing I need to know about early voting I learned from Barack Obama.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2012 at 3:17 am

AZ voting starts in five days. I can't WAIT!

docterry6973 October 6, 2012 at 8:33 am

Click through on the ad. Money to our Editrix straight from the bad guys.

ElPinche October 6, 2012 at 2:10 am

Broun is a dying breed. Information and the truth will always win.

The universe is in us. …yes, even inside a big dummy like Broun:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D05ej8u-gU

Detesticle October 6, 2012 at 6:20 am

Jesus approves this message?

That deer photo could not be more anti-Christ-y.

menopausemafia October 6, 2012 at 6:31 am

"All men are rapists and that's all they are" — Marilyn French, Authoress; (later, advisoress to Al Gore's Presidential Campaign.)

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 10:54 am

Yay! Our troll is back! Thanks for a completely off-topic quote from 1977! And as a special treat, you're quoting a fictional character in a novel, not a direct statement of the author herself! Or rather, "authoress." You are so very special. I'm sure the commentresses here at Wonkette would love to have an exchange of views with you, you brave soul.

Incidentally, do you have anything to say about Rep. Broun's utter rejection of science, which is from last month, not 35 years ago?

Please come back Sunday; we'd love to have you join our discussion of Christian textbooks, if you can try to actually comment on the article.

DemmeFatale October 6, 2012 at 11:24 am

Oh, Dok, always with the facts.
(Don't confuse the poor thing!)

Blueb4sinrise October 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

Damn. I ain't voting for Gore in Nov. now, that's for sure.

Esteev October 6, 2012 at 12:10 pm

But, but, AL GORE!?

menopausemafia October 6, 2012 at 6:32 am

"I feel that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them." — Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor.

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 10:50 am

Yay! Our troll is back! Thanks for a completely off-topic quote from 1974! That certainly is a valuable contribution! Do you have anything to say about Rep. Broun's utter rejection of science, which is from last month, not 38 years ago?

Please come back Sunday; we'd love to have you join our discussion of Christian textbooks, if you can try to actually comment on the article.

DahBoner October 6, 2012 at 10:27 am

from Goo to Zoo to You

This freak went to the Zoo after Goo?

I usually just go to sleep…

weejee October 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Should look at going to Zoo Tunes instead of Zoo Goo.

Esteev October 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Or at least drop the bitch off on the next block first.

Troubledog October 6, 2012 at 11:40 am

What about the race mixing and the mud people? More overt pandering please!

grex1949 October 6, 2012 at 11:49 am

OMFG, what else can be said?

Esteev October 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

OMFTBYOC?

"Oh My Fucking Three Billion Year Old Carbon"?

Blueb4sinrise October 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

Arizona "….the general improvement in the state's economy…."
http://azstarnet.com/business/local/report-az-tax

Surprised the state is still collecting taxes at all. Fascists. So this is good economic news. Is it good news for McCain?

Esteev October 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Could we get some fucking scientists on the fucking House Science Committee?

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

ha ha ha

tessiee October 6, 2012 at 1:54 pm

"tells a story about heroically shooting another lion in the face, explaining that “God directed that bullet, because if I’d missed, that lion would have been in the back of the truck with me and I’d have been clawed to death.”"

That was "Jurassic Park", moron. We've all seen it.

Dudleydidwrong October 6, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Alternate theory: Just before the lion was to grab its meal it saw who it was and said, "Fuck! If I eat that stupid asshole I'll get terminal indigestion for sure. Might as well die a quick death." (As an atheist I have to leave god out of the story…)

ttommyunger October 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

The Derp is strong with this one…

ShuCityRefugee October 6, 2012 at 10:29 pm

The Almighty was thoughtful enough to delay delivering The Word until Mr. Broun had passed all of his examinations in college and medical school. Having accomplished that, he was ready to repudiate all that science stuff he'd learned.

1951paris October 7, 2012 at 11:14 am

Email to the House Committee on Science Space and Technology

Dear House Members,

First W. Todd Akin and now Paul Broun… will obscurantist wonders never cease.

Considering that, at least two of your members would not know science from a ravioli, I suggest that your committee either renames itself The Committee on Ectoplasms Rapture and Shiny Things or show the dullards among you the exit door.

Akin and Broun are certainly free to express their opinions, however philistine they may be, but they are not entitled to sit on a Committee dealing with a subject completely alien to them.

Sincerely,

jamessavik October 11, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Thanks for another grandstanding religious nut Georgia. They're always a blast.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 7:39 pm

This assnut should know scripture, Luke 4:23
Physician, helical thyself!

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Ask any old pig farmer,
The female pig has a corkscrew-shaped receptacle.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 7:50 pm

If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worth reading
Or do things worth writing.

–Poor Richard

I think this probably applies to ye Butt-feckfs, too.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 8:01 pm

That's something to cherish, right there.

First time I saw Frank was at the then- Garden State Arts Center. The band came on up, he walked onstage, up to the mic and said "Hey. In case you haven't figured it out yet, we ARE the Opening Act. So get your asses in here!" Everyone did.
Then they ripped into an outstanding Zoot Alours.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Here's another good time to remind ourselves that this page, with
Poor Richard's Blogge of Butt-feckfs and all the rest, will be carefully tucked away in the archives of the National Library of Congress. To confuse and startle researchers in posterity.
Poor Richard is chortling at us from the aether, now.

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I like it! But at the time wouldn't it simply be a "logge"?

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 8:28 pm

There's an appalling story out there of a man that suffered severe rectal trauma from an ill-considered Encounter of the Porcine Kind.

I'm not looking for it now. I saw Ann Coulter on Washington Journal this morning and that's enough disturbing imagery for one day.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Speaking of pig cunts.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 8:44 pm

ISWYDT (!)

viennawoods13 October 5, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Porcine sexual parts libel!!

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Fiddy two and going strong. Diving in presently.
NO BLÅBÄRING.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2012 at 3:12 am

Same with ICU docs and nurses. Some of the most dedicated and caring people I've met, spending my fair share of days sitting beside people hooked up to breathing tubes. Perhaps not as stressful as ER hour-by-hour, but it must have its moments. I don't think any of them go into politics.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Ben Franklin's Mighty Logge?

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Th-th-th-that's OW!!!!!!! Folks!

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Roger that compadre'. Me Also too.

We have been enjoying a High Smart&Funny Pressure system today. Continued cool and clear expected through this evening, warming and continued clear till 10 or so EDT, where we will be expected to endure scattered Squalls and Dunderstorms until early afternoon.

Here's a Tasty Bit for you before bedtime. A thing that I just found which I didn't know and surprised me.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 11:53 pm

The weather in these parts, in the backwoods, is usually clear this time of year. We sure could use a little trouble though. I miss the scurf and musica obscura.
I find it easier to learn. It takes time to tango.
I always liked that Neil Young — newly sober BTW — always had and used Hank William's Martin.

SayItWithWookies October 6, 2012 at 12:20 am

Haven't missed it yet. As I say at brunch:
The LORD can have His mysterious ways —
I'll take champagne and hollandaise.

YasserArraFeck October 6, 2012 at 12:51 am

Should be on Mt. Rushmore

Simple J Malarkey October 6, 2012 at 12:57 am

So smooth!

C_R_Eature October 6, 2012 at 5:54 am

I can tell you that the ICU Doctor and Nurse that talked me through my Loss, several years ago, worked desperately and frantically to prevent it and were wholly devastated when they could not. Yet they took the time with me that I needed to talk and help me through the shock and to decide what needed to be done. I'll always remember how kind they were and how personally destructive losing someone in their care must have been to them.
ICU staff face this possibility every day, with many of the patients they care for. It must take a toll on them.

Radiotherapy October 6, 2012 at 6:43 am

The main reason I hate Palin more than anything is her rhetorical terrorism about the Death Panels. By her introducing this corrosive lie into the discourse it poisoned many a end-of-life discussions with family. Whether in the ER or ICU or even in a doctor's office the "lie of the year" can make these inevitable, important conversations much more difficult. Fucking tundra cunt. BTW, it was the first thing she did after she quit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_panel

Its actually a very good Wiki page.

Doktor Zoom October 6, 2012 at 10:41 am

This. My first wife was severely head-injured in 1987 and spent weeks in a coma; before the accident, she was a nursing student, so I was predisposed to think well of the nursing staff, and they were absolutely incredible. (This was at Tucson's University Medical Center, where Gabby Giffords was initially in ER/ICU years later). Just top-notch people. The neurologist was one of those docs who came off as thoroughly arrogant, but in a way that is actually reassuring, because you could tell he had every reason to be sure he was right. It was a hellish time, but I never had any doubt that she was in excellent hands.

Jukesgrrl October 7, 2012 at 1:30 am

Same with me, too.When my Dad died, several of the ICU nurses who had cared for him sought out our family and they really did seem devastated that they hadn't saved Dad.Personally, I never thought it was possible.His strokes had been unsurvivable with his other health problems.But, damn, they tried and he hung in for a long time.And I'll remember their kindness always.I'm sorry for your loss.I never fail to enjoy your posts here.

C_R_Eature October 7, 2012 at 9:24 am

Thank you. A little over three years on and it's almost impossible for me to talk about. I only bring it up here to illustrate this important point and give some recognition to the professionals who work on the front lines of life and death.

C_R_Eature October 7, 2012 at 9:43 am

That's a good story.

There's nothing worse than getting a phone call at 4 o'clock on Sunday morning from the ICU, but there's few things more reassuring than having a team of trained, dedicated professionals on your side.

C_R_Eature October 7, 2012 at 9:48 am

This is way up there on my Hate-o-Meter too.
I hated Palin from the minute she opened her mouth at the Republican Convention in 2008 and she's done absolutely nothing to redeem herself since then.

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