KNICKERS IN A TWIST  12:37 pm October 5, 2012

Panty-Related Rumor Roils County Prosecutor Race In Ohio

by Doktor Zoom

A typical day in a law office, according to noted expertsWe feel just awful for Hocking County, Ohio, prosecutor Laina Fetherolf, a first-term Democrat whose campaign for reelection has been complicated by vicious rumors that sound like something out of an episode of Night Court. And we really feel awful about the fact that we are now going to make matters worse by talking even more about what did or did not happen with her panties after a wardrobe malfunction in court. So please accept our abject apologies, Ms. Fetherolf, and remember that we actually do believe your side of the story!

Now, let’s talk about your underthings.

According to a complaint Fetherolf filed with the Ohio Elections Commission, her opponent Jason Sarvar has been spreading untrue rumors about what Fetherolf did when a judge noticed that “Fetherolf was wearing dark panties under a light-colored dress, causing snickering in the courtroom.” According to a letter sent to Fetherolf by a local businessman, Sarver had told the businessman and his wife that when the judge

told her to fix the fashion faux pas…Fetherolf left the courtroom, went to the men’s room, removed her panties and then placed them in evidence before the judge.

She also supposedly announced, “problem solved.”

The Columbus Dispatch reports that Fetherolf’s complaint about the rumors was dismissed “largely because it was not based on personal knowledge and was neither a public statement nor campaign literature.” Fetherolf’s campaign Facebook page, however, contends that “the complaint was dismissed due to a typographical error and will be resubmitted tomorrow,” adding “We truly believe justice will be done.”

Fetherolf says that she only filed her complaint after hearing the rumor from multiple sources:

“I was willing to laugh it off until the story began to spread … I’ve heard about it from multiple people. Everybody in Logan is talking about this story [Sarver] made up.”

Common Pleas Court Judge John T. Wallace has said little about the incident, but agrees with prosecutor Fetherolf on the key panty-depositing allegation: “No panties have ever been placed on my bench by anyone, including her.”

In a note on her Facebook page, Fetherolf emphasizes that her goal has simply been to stop the rumors, not to stoke controversy:

I never intended to cause any media frenzy, just to get him to stop. I’ve heard it many times from diverse people and it would have been impossible for me to track down everyone to set the record straight. I gave him an opportunity to correct it, I filed with the elections commission without making a big fuss, and then I was contacted by the media, not the other way around.

Once again, Ms. Fetherolf, we feel a bit guilty for contributing to the Streisand Effect here. On the other hand … PANTIES OF JUSTICE!!!!!

You see our dilemma.

[Atlantic Wire / Columbus Dispatch / Facebook]

 

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{ 140 comments }

Barbara_ October 5, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Did he ask to see everyone's legal briefs?

Generation[redacted] October 5, 2012 at 12:43 pm

That's just the sort of impertinent remark that will get you a dressing down from the judge.

slowhansolo October 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

It actually kind of skivvies me out.

ssmallt October 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Now guys, cut her some slack… It's a shame she has to go all commando on the issue just to set the record straight.

le petit mort October 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Attorney: Your Honor, I object to this line of questioning.
Judge: Overruled.
Attorney: Very well, then; I'd like some time to go over my briefs.
Judge: Please.
Attorney: [inspects his underwear] They're fine.

glasspusher October 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

As everyone expected, a surprise witness!

tihond October 5, 2012 at 12:40 pm

If the panty doesn't fit, you must acquit.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Hey Dok, thanks for sniffing this story out.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

HEY! I posted this to Wonkville yesterday! It even made the hot list!

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 1:43 pm

It's #7, with a Bullet! The story's also garnered 6 comments.

We like Panty stories here aw Wonkette.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Naughtiloids unite!

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Squids for Social Justice! And Panties!

hagajim October 5, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I feel for poor Judge Wallace – no panties have ever been placed on his bench – by anyone. #PoorDudeIsAVirgin.

EatsBabyDingos October 5, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Psst: Sarvar wears Vitter Mandiapers. Pass it on.

Oblios_Cap October 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I hear he wears magic Mormon underwear.

Terry October 5, 2012 at 12:43 pm

The Republican can't have support from any of the national PACs or else he'd have come up with a better story with at least some faked up "proof"

AncienReggie October 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

James O'Keefe is probably editing up some proof right now.

smashedinhat October 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Tighty whities! Yea!!

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I will defer to our expert on laws and butts, The Proms, Arthur Promzarelli Esq.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Will we be having an internet panty raid here on the Wonkette???

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Hooray for Ritualized/Sublimated Gang Rape!

bobbert October 5, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Also, Virtualized.

Generation[redacted] October 5, 2012 at 12:45 pm

“We truly believe justice will be done.”

That's what I say when a woman removes her panties for me.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

…and hope she strikes a blow for liberty…

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I always get an objection.

Oblios_Cap October 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm

What in the hell was the judge doing commenting on her panties? Does he inspect male lawyers for "fashion faux-pas", too?

Too bad the story isn't true. She'd get my vote.

Lascauxcaveman October 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Judges are the arbiters of professional decorum in their courts. If they see something that potentially harms that decorum, or serves as a significant distraction from the proceedings, they are obliged to intervene.

And some are just skeevy old guys who like to talk about ladies underpants all the time.

vulpes82 October 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Well, since no straight man I know would ever utter the words "fashion faux pas," I imagine he's very interested in the male lawyers briefs.

Jus_Wonderin October 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Whoa. I was just reading about the Streisand Effect. This is weird. Weird. I swear.

ETA: Weird.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Barbra Streisand and I have been watching you….

Jus_Wonderin October 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Grin. I was just on the wiki page, and come back to Wonkette and bam!!! I had to go see how old she was and then saw a link to the “effect”.

Incitefully_Joe October 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I find this news extremely easy to fap to.

Oblios_Cap October 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

she's a little hottie.

Fare la Volpe October 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The visual aid helps.

Gleem McShineys October 5, 2012 at 4:35 pm

"Problem solved" indeed.

Schmannnity October 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Commando justice.

tihond October 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Lady's underwear you say? *Marcus Buckingham goes back to fiddling with grindr*

Yellerdawg October 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

She should have let it stand. If she had actually done that, I would have voted for her for that reason alone. Besides respecting the 'fuck you' aspect of it, the whole business suit/no panties thing really does it for me.

StealthMuslin October 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

The view from beneath this glass ceiling is sweet!

Sophist[Kochblocker] October 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Fetherolf left the courtroom, went to the men’s room, removed her panties and then placed them in evidence before the judge.

Defense exhibit G.

rickmaci October 5, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Exhibit G Spot, I believe.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I'm trying to play a song for this but I can't find my g-string.

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 2:04 am

Defense exhibit Double D.

fartknocker October 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

If the Editorix ever decides do a drinky thing in Austin it would be nice to memorialize the event with her skivvies.

SexySmurf October 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

What about her bra?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Justice cannot be constrained!

GemlikeFlame October 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

We need more of this kind of hard-hitting, penetrative… uhhh. Gotta go see if Mrs. GLF is busy…

gullywompr October 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

A judicial knickers snicker – my favorite.

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Even if it's true who cares. It's not like she gave the judge a handy with them.

FakaktaSouth October 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

“No panties have ever been placed on my bench by anyone, including her.”

We much prefer commando justice 'round these here parts as well.

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

The judge was heard to murmur: "…regretfully…."

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

If I had a nickle every time I say that I'd almost have $18

LIT_Fag October 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

….'Round these here (private) parts as well….

Lascauxcaveman October 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

The Rule 34 implications of this story bring to mind a whole 'nother category of porn I have not even considered before.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Legal porn is usually disappointing. There is only so much you can do with a gavel.

JoeHoya October 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I won't be able to form an adequate opinion about this matter unless I see pics of Ms. Fetherolf in her panties.

BenGleck October 6, 2012 at 1:50 pm

And out of!

MiniMencken October 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

She went to the men's room to remove her panties? Now that is one kinky little number, lemme tell ya.

ManchuCandidate October 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Not Night Court XXX?

SorosBot October 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I miss the days when porn spoofs actually had creative titles. (Two of my favorites: Night of the Living Bed and Beverly Hills 90269). Nowdays it's all just "Not Avatar: A Porn Parody" and that's just pathetic.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Forrest Hump and Falcon Breast also, too.

delaney_blom October 5, 2012 at 1:41 pm

The Wayans Brothers' influence is pervasive . . . .

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

From the Simpson's, but I always liked Bang the Bum Slowly.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 8:05 pm

I remember "Hannah Does Her Sisters" and "Pumping Irene"

OneYieldRegular October 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Someone should have the authorities take a look in the basement of whoever started that rumor.

slowhansolo October 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Bloomers bloopers.

thefrontpage October 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I'm a U.S. Supreme Court Judge, and I get panties left on my bench all the time!!

MosesInvests October 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Not to mention pubes on the Coke can.

pepperpat October 5, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Well, you ARE Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Dudleydidwrong October 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Where's asshole Clarence T when we need him? I'll bet he can't truthfully say what Judge Wallace said.

RomanSolo3000 October 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Sarvar's just mad he has to keep his sexy panties a secret.

Oblios_Cap October 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

This is the most fap-worthy story of the week!

ph7 October 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The hentai is a nice touch!

badseeds October 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

This is the kind of discovery we should all get behind.

weejee October 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

But what about Willard's bloomers being in a bunch over the debate cheater crib sheet fap flap?

BornInATrailer October 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Well, that's Clarence Thomas' spank material for the day.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Would "spanking the monkey" be racist in that instance? I'm just trying to evolve, here.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Evolution is a lie from the Pit of Hell.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Let's just say he has retired to his chambers to take it under review.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I read that the Pantyfarian sect wants the right to wear them on their heads in public.

Religious Freedom, people.

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Pics or STFU!…

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I often remove my rumors before depositing them in my hamper at night.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I simply want to say that I have always wanted to use "roil" in a headline.

One more item checked off my bucket list.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

What other words are on your list?

Exhumed?

Pustule?

Fare la Volpe October 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Penis Penis Penis Penis

Cumquat, also.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Bulbous?

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Bouffant

C_R_Eature October 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I always wanted to end a blog post with the word Mayonnaise.

OneDollarJuana October 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Tundra Grifter October 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I was thinking about that dude when I read this story!

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I can't stop thinking about a book, "Sexual Profiles of Men in Power" written by a D.C. hooker who talked about a judge who wore a butt plug all day while hearing cases, so if you get this guy, you might benefit from his good mood.

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Um, Bush appointed so many….

Dudleydidwrong October 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

That guy is going to be a Sup Ct nominee if Rmoney gets in. Thomas needs company.

LibertyLover October 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I find that this election season, we, as a whole have spent entirely too much time on the undergarments one does or does not wear, magical or nonmagical. And I will not stand for it anymore!! (I won't stand for it any less though either.)

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"Sergeant, remove those panties!"

schvitzatura October 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Bold move from such a mousy little lady…drop trou!

https://twitter.com/hilbillyprinces

bobbert October 5, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Maybe it's just me, but it seems that prosecutors should, maybe, not twatter?

mavenmaven October 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

The panties were meant for Joe Biden.

Mittaplasia October 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Maybe instead of Mrs. Handsome Joe tossing 'em all out, she can start a "Gently Used Panties for the Poors" foundation, or a museum or sumpin'.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Her approach to Constitutional interpretation has also been criticized for being excessively elastic.

Geminisunmars October 5, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I like your panty liners.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

The old arguments she used were threadbare and there were significant holes found in her logic.

Doktor Zoom October 5, 2012 at 8:11 pm

That's a Phair comparison.

C_R_Eature October 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

A YouTube video link to a Liz Phair song about panties, illustrated withe anime Japanese sex kittens.

I'm in awe. You should get some kind of medal for that.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

It made mine rigid.

Troubledog October 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Egg Romney and Michelle Obama Pantied Pillowfight Dot Com

CommieDad October 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I bet her campaign started the rumor. Anyway, I'd hit that … with votes!

SorosBot October 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

"vicious rumors that sound like something out of an episode of Night Court. "

Court, at night? I'm laughing already!

CommieDad October 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

You know what I like about this? It is a great urban legend. It's right up there with the little white girls dropping to the ground in the elevator when Eddie Murphy says, "hit da flo." I think I am going to tell this story about every female barrister I know. Heck, the male law-dicks too!

Fare la Volpe October 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

One of my favorite professors told me a story about when she argued a case in court while 8 months pregnant. Naturally she showed up to court in maternity clothes because fuck you there's a kicking thing inside me and my clothes don't fit. The judge for the case (a man just a few years older than Moses) started to bitch at her because she had the audacity to wear pants instead of a skirt and flats instead of heels. My prof yanked her husband out of the gallery, slung his tie around her neck, demanded if that was "good enough," and went on to win her case like a boss.

Mittens Howell, III October 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I'm guessing there's probably words around that picture.

Goonemeritus October 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

That anime character is dead ringer for a younger Elizabeth Warren.

proudgrampa October 5, 2012 at 2:14 pm

She's HAWT!

Oblios_Cap October 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

The judge must be the love child of Mr. Blackwell and Joan Rivers.

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Ad colligenda bona, indeed.

Tundra Grifter October 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Somebody is confusing the Common Pleas Court of Judge John T. Wallace with a Tom Jones concert.

MosesInvests October 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Ok, so she's not an anime babe, but I'd file an amicus brief with her.

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

At that very moment, the Ohio Nuns Of Chastity burst into the courtroom, forced the Democrat woman into a head-to-toe burlap-sack dress, and fled the courtroom while the bailiff, judge and other male authorities were still paralyzed in romantic reverie by their raging pheromones.

owhatever October 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It is difficult for her opponent, Jason Sarver, to stay laser focused on jerbs when this woman keeps flaunting black panties in his face. To his credit, he has has not yet made up stories about her frilly, uplifting bra, pantyhose, leather handcuffs, feathered blindfold, or the assortment of battery-powered dildi.

MosesInvests October 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Upfisting for the word "dildi".

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Law and Order: Commando Intent

BoatOfVelociraptors October 5, 2012 at 1:58 pm

So according to this rumor, Justice isn't blind, but has x-ray vision.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Law and Order: Still Visible Underwear

rickmaci October 5, 2012 at 2:00 pm

You'd think a well prepared Prosexcuting Attorney would carry a spare thong in her brief case.

PubOption October 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

She had a weak case and was trying to distract the jury.

Comment originally posted to this story on Wonkville.

pdiddycornchips October 5, 2012 at 2:23 pm

If anyone has spent any time at all in a court house, you already know not all male lawyers look or dress like the guys on TV. In fact, many, especially the older ones, dress in ratty looking suits and appear to not have showered in a few days. Judges aren't concerned about their appearance. If the judge really said something about the color of her panties, he's a moron.

decentcitizen October 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I think it was a mistake to dispel this rumor. That would have been kick-ass if it had actually happened. It makes me doubt her qualities as a trial attorney. Every lawyer knows the backbone of every case is a compelling narrative.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I used to keep a pair of dark panties with me in court, but always got objected to when I brought them out.

glamourdammerung October 5, 2012 at 3:08 pm

What "War on Women"?

L_Daddy October 5, 2012 at 3:10 pm

scuse me I'll be back… right after I'm done fetheroffing.

fuflans October 5, 2012 at 11:59 pm

you need so many more 'p's' for that.

Guppy October 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

OK, we've gone from bronies to full-blown otaku (and fanservice at that). How much longer before Wonkett hosts ads for full-body pillows, and will that run afoul of Our Editrix's "No Full Porn" proscription?

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:59 am

If she have actuallydone that, it'd respect the stunt, because that stunt would be epic.

fishwharf October 6, 2012 at 2:42 am

Laina Fetherolf is an attractive young woman. She can place her panties on my bench anytime.

RufusTFirefly October 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Worst Tom Jones concert ever.

ttommyunger October 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: underwear's no fun to wear.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Wouldn't squid panties be more of a squid gimp mask?

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Squids don't wear Panties, they steal them.

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 2:18 pm

So that's what all those tentacles are for.

Generation[redacted] October 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

"Please rise…"

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