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Ghost Mr. Rogers Will Help Save PBS From That Mean Old Mitt Romney

Duh, everybody freaking out about Homeless Big Bird, axing PBS has been dogma on the Right for decades. Everybody in this glorious nation may be shocked at Miffed Romney’s mafia threat to Big Bird — looks like you got a real nice nest here, shame if anything happened to it — but Fox Business and their ilk have long believed all that sharing and multiculturalism is soshulizms. Murdering the Muppets is a feature, not a bug. On the flip side, get some morning sweetness with Fred Rogers testifying before Congress and making crusty old men’s hearts grow three sizes, and stuff.

Of course, you knew the Republicans have wanted this forever and ever, but the … er … low-information voters (we are trying to nicely say “idiots”) are dismayed and appalled to learn this basic bit of 21st Century Teatardedness. (Here’s a statement from PBS from last year, when the House voted to cut off all its funding. And here is their — near identical — statement from yesterday. They probably have the whole thing in macros.) Funding for public broadcasting polls better than any slice of federal funding besides your grandma. Too bad that was the one piece of specific policy Ol’ Miffed let fly in the greatest debate performance in this life or any other. Total bummer.

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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    1. Katydid

      oh my, I haven't thought of Soupy Sales in ages….Wikipedia says he grew up as Milton Supman in a NC town. "His was the only Jewish family in the town; Sales joked that local Ku Klux Klan members bought the sheets used for their robes from his father's store."

    2. eggsacklywright

      Just remember, kids, if you and your mommy and daddy like Sesame Street, you're a bunch of commies and I'll toss you all in the gulag.

    1. Katydid

      Or…this show sponsored by the liberal elite media industrial complex, and your liberal mommy and daddy are bad, bad, people.

  1. freakishlywrong

    The fuck is up with wingers and PBS? Leave it, SS, Medicare, our uteri, and us the fuck alone. Go. Away. Assholes.

    1. Esteev

      The chyron says it all: "Are liberals trying to brainwash your kids against capitalism?"

      At what age does "share" become a bad word?

        1. Mittaplasia

          Thank you! So many great Mittens ones, but most can't be readable on this tiny format, oops, did a Mitt penis joke just slip out?

  2. Katydid

    "…liberal hollywood using class warfare to brainwash our kids"

    Don't these fucking people ever get tired of spouting the same old dreary talking points? JFC, at least accuse us of something new already. I'm so bored with this shit!

      1. kyeshinka

        Read Chomsky's "Syntactic Structures." You'll never look at language acquisition the same again!!

  3. freakishlywrong

    Republican Public Broadcasting would be nothing but Fux propaganda station broadcasting the Sock Puppets and Big Turd 'round the clock. (like they do now).

  4. TheGyrus

    I'm trying to figure out a more effective use of federal early childhood education dollars than Big Bird. Not coming up with one.

      1. TheGyrus

        So am I, but it costs orders of magnitude more, and is only available to the poors. Sesame Street is a program even my middle-class child can watch.

  5. OneDollarJuana

    I often think PBS, NPR, PRI, et al, should not be funded at all by government money so they will have any requirements to provide right-wing lies as valid viewpoints removed.

    1. JerkCade

      Word. If you want to hear how the Republicans are framing an issue, turn on All Things Considered.

  6. Chow Yun Flat

    Hollywood using class war…

    Hell if there was a class war all those with any power in Hollywood will be with the bourgeoisie, especially since that's where they are now.

  7. rambone

    Wait a minute. That's the way Mister Rogers always talked? It wasn't just a schtick for his show?

    Was he, um, you know, one of those developmentally challenged people we can't talk about? Or one of those gheys that we're supposed to always talk about?

    1. YasserArraFeck

      I heard that Fred Rogers was a retired Special Forces badass – he could parachute in total darkness and lull you to death with a nice story. Wouldn't leave a mark on you.

    2. Gorillionaire

      Fred was a decent guy. He didn't give anybody any shit and he didn't take any shit from anybody.

  8. hagajim

    Ha Ha! Miff prolly through out the Big Bird comment just for funz….and now its gone and done backfired on him.

  9. KeepFnThatChicken

    Can someone explain to the teevee asshole above that the Muppets in the movie are owned by corporate Disney? There's only an anecdotal connection to Sesame Street these days.

      1. SorosBot

        But I thought he had the votes of the olds, who are the only demographic that doesn't shave and still has the furry triangles…

        1. Mittaplasia

          I can't see Mitt getting the landing strip vote, either. Why does everything we talk about seem to come back to Bush all the time? It must be a bot thing.

  10. Joshua Norton

    You get actual programs on PBS? In San Francisco it's just people sitting at a bank of telephone while someone in front of them says "Send us money and we'll send you a tote bag" 24/7. They used to have Pledge Week. Now it's Pledge Year.

  11. Terry

    Mitt's contention during the debates that he'll go through the government and for each agency or program ask "is this worth borrowing from China to fund?" was curious. If he comes upon a business development program that's giving beaucoup bucks to his campaign contributors, will he find that worth of borrow? Educational television, of course not. Environmental stuff, never in a million years. Basically, he'd fund bloated Defense programs and whatever pork he's handlers wanted.

    1. calliecallie

      I couldn't help but notice Barry Bamz give a little smile when Mitt said that China thing. Getting him on the record about that. I think Barry will use that line against him in some upcoming foreign affairs debate.

  12. Oblios_Cap

    In fairness, education does have a tendency to erode blind faith in religous dogma and acceptance of the lies the ruling classes foist upon us. So it's really not all that surprising that the GOP would be against it since it shrinks the number of the fucktards that vote for their candidates.

    Subvert the dominant paradigm!

  13. Goonemeritus

    It’s just math, expenditures need to be trimmed by 50% to balance the budget. 60% of the discretionary budget is defense related which can’t be touched. So the only way to balance the budget is to kill Big Bird. Why can’t liberals understand this?

  14. CrunchyKnee

    Wouldn't the invisible hand of the free market be able to counter PBS with their own network? Without the help of socialism? It would have to be on cable only, since the airwaves are another socialist entity.

    As an aside, Nova has just become a recruiting tool for the armed forces any way. What more do these fucks want?

    1. DCBloom

      My mom wouldn't let me watch him. She said he talked down to kids. Years later she said it was really because she got pedophile vibes from him. Sad.

  15. Weenus299

    In all fairness, Sesame Street might could be updated with drone muppets who seek and destroy all dissenters.

  16. pinkocommi

    Romney wants to kill Big Bird. Well, at least he is consistent and also wants to stop subsidies for Exxon, etc. Oh wait.

  17. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I have been anti sesame street ever since they made cookie monster start eating vegetables.

  18. 1stNewtontheMoon

    Fuck with PBS and you fuck with my love of tote bags! (love in a totally hetero way, mind you.)

    1. proudgrampa

      The one I got tired of (after raising my granddaughter on it) was Barney and Friends.

      But Banana Splits was cool!

    1. Jennyjen798

      I loved KERA as a kid. Plus it was the only "kid" station airing in Whitney, TX (Great Granny's house). I think that town and my great granny would have been in some serious shit if there wasn't Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow to keep us occupied. That chicken house would have never seen it coming…

  19. Mittaplasia

    If Big Bird were pink or purple, he would have been killed off long ago…the ghey cooties and all.

  20. BonoboReview

    For those with little wonketters, there are about 6 seasons of Mr. Rogers available for free streaming if you have Amazon prime. I find that listening to his show while the little ones watch is like drinking about a 1/2 glass of wine for my PTSD after watching the rugrats for the day.

  21. barto

    Today's insanity brought to you by the number .00014 (the percent of the federal budget consumed by PBS)

  22. ElPinche

    I guess FoxNews hasn't been paying attention to Nick & Disney…the massive cornucopia of godless liberalism promoting urban culture (diversity). Watch Michelle Obama with New Direction and iCarly throwing carrots at our fat babies . Watch Barry guest start on Victorious and indoctrinate my children with pseudo science like "evilution" , climate change, brainwashing my naked little ricket-ridden kids to PLANT TREES! NOT IN AMERICA!

  23. The_Peckerwood

    I find this an outrage…. aren't Republican supposed to be all balls out "pro military" and "support the troops"… and they do this to the station that Fred Rogers built? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Mr. Rogers a sniper in NAM with more confirmed kills than Hamburger Hill, Platoon, and Full Metal Jacket combined?

  24. Comrade Wingtardd

    Well, the unspoken subtext was "I hate Frontline and will be glad to defund it"

    And losing Frontline would be a national tragedy, besides the national tragedy that almost no one watches it.

  25. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Please everyone watch the Mr Rogers clip. Especially the last 2 minutes or so.

    "What do you do with the mad that you feel?"

  26. Grokenstein

    Socialism? I guess they get that from the fact that everyone lets Oscar live in a garbage can, instead of setting him on fire.

    Girl: "Yeah, Oscar, you're a grouch!"
    Oscar: "Bitch, I live in a fuckin' trash can!! …Nobody's helpin' me."
    Guy: "Get it together, grouch!"
    — Dave Chappelle

    …That, and teaching kids to count. Every real American knows that numbers are tools of Satan, and the only real meaning they have is what your local right-wing pol tells you Jesus says they have.

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