cocktober

Detroit Police Chiefs Just Can’t Stop Doing Sex On Their Lady Cops

teen suicide, don't do it!Well yikes, etc.! Pictured above is Detroit internal affairs (heh?) officer Angelica Robinson, who tweeted this angsty self-portrait after finding out that her lover, Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee, was sexin’ on someone else. Robinson, as you might have guessed, has had her service weapon removed from her possession, WHICH SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. Godbee? He’s been suspended. Wait, is it 2010 again? No, that was when the last Detroit chief of police, Warren Evans, got canned for porking his subordinate.

Evans, a former Wayne County sheriff, was appointed chief by [Mayor Dave] Bing in 2009 and fired after he raised the mayor’s ire by taking part in a promotional video for a cable police reality show. Bing later said he also fired Evans because the chief was romantically involved with Lt. Monique Patterson.

Godbee, too, had a romantic relationship with Patterson before she began dating Evans and when she was Godbee’s subordinate.

The prior relationship between Godbee and Patterson was disclosed publicly after Godbee was named interim chief, and Bing issued a strongly worded statement after its disclosure saying he wasn’t considering firing Godbee for having an affair with a subordinate.

Assistant Chief Chester Logan will assume Godbee’s responsibilities during the suspension, Bing said.

But has Chester Logan ever boned a subordinate? And has he done sex on Lt. Monique Patterson? It seems like someone should really find out.

[DailyMail]

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  • ChernobylSoup

    Police brutality; you're doing it wrong.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I dunno…was the Wonkette logo involved?

      • Crank_Tango

        OK…wtf is up with the Ws this morning?

    • Negropolis

      Oh, trust me, in Detroit, the police do brutality proper and right-like. The department ain't under FBI monitoring for nothing. Speaking of which, Mayor Kilpatrick was porking the FBI monitor just to show you how corrupt the town is.

  • eggsacklywright

    Pigs be porkin'.

    • Baconzgood

      I'm Baconzgood and I approve this snark.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Can I have Patterson's phone number? She sounds dangerous

    • Esteev

      Show her your service weapon.

  • Government_Job

    Wait, there are folks still left in Detroit to police?

    Oh, well. President Romney will sell it off to China.

  • sbj1964

    Just another Lifetime channel movie of the week.

    • ChernobylSoup

      Ha ha. Black characters on Lifetime.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Awright, awright, BET movie of the week.

        Happy now????

        • Esteev

          Tyler Perry and the Suicidal Boo?

        • JadedPreppy

          I used to consult for BET. This sounds like a typical day at their corporate office, so they would definitely do it right.

      • sbj1964

        Maybe for February?

  • Will_Panic

    Maybe put saltpeter on their donuts and they can stop boning long enough to fight some crime.

    I know "donuts" is cliche'. I'm sorry. But cops do eat donuts, right?

  • sudsmckenzie

    Maybe that woman just watched the debate last night.

    • BarackMyWorld

      SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK …bang!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        It has a great beat, easy to rhumba to. I give it a 90

    • Blueb4sinrise

      I'm making one of these because I haven't suffered enough.
      http://www.courvo.biz/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/

      • emmelemm

        OK, I'm saving that link. I'm sure it will come in handy.

  • coolhandnuke

    Chester Logan has one of those Boogie Nights names.
    Ralph Godbee has one of those Mayberry RFD names.

  • prommie

    Chicks dig a man in uniform.

  • http://wonkette.com/ no_gravity

    I didn't know Detroit was still a city.

    • Negropolis

      Neither does much of Detroit.

      And I say that with love.

  • Schmannnity

    Looks like she gives good gun.

    • Esteev

      Money shot.

      I'll show myself out.

  • UnholyMoses

    To protect and serve To fuck and get fired

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    If she was serious, I'd say someone alert Demi Moore. She has experience with talking fragile minded tightrope walkers out of drastic measures, via teh twitterz.
    Of course then she herself almost overdosed with her post-breakup plunge into inner turmoil, which I'm reminded of every time Ashton flirts and winks at giggling gaggles of fawning young women himself, with his Minolta or whichever camera brand made him their spokesperson.

    • James Michael Curley

      Nikon, ending a century long era of quality and traditional Japanese honor.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        You know, though (and agreed, my family has tended to prefer Nikon all these years), quality comparisons aside — I have to hand it to whoever developed the catch phrase, "Only From The Mind Of Minolta"; I can still remember the guy's voice from the tv ads. I have tried without looking any up online, and cannot recall another camera brand slogan, [ruling out film manufacturers like 'Kodak moment'], unless it says more about my brain where a given jingle lodges than it does about the jingle-maker itself.

        • James Michael Curley

          So what is it saying when one watches a complete, vey crafted commercial with a nice little plot and one can’t remember what the product was.

  • eggsacklywright

    To protect and slurp.

  • delaney_blom

    50 Shades of Blue?

  • UnholyMoses

    Shouldn't the smaller headline be "Glocktober" … ?

    • ThundercatHo

      Glockgobbler?

      • Esteev

        Cap dumpster?

  • mrpuma2u

    Office relationship always = FAIL
    Office relationship in occupation where everyone has guns = TRAGIC EPIC FAIL
    Sheesh.

    • GregComlish

      But my definition of relationship success is banging Lt. Monique Patterson

      • Boojum

        It's apparently a common definition.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Looks like Detroit got two triple crown winners yesterday.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Fuck tha police…so to speak.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    My takeaway from this: We should all get out more.

  • ttommyunger

    I retired just in time ('83). Very few females in the field at that time. I had maybe 4 or five out of 3,000 Recruits through the Academy during my time there ('71-'79). I only had to supervise one or two-ever. Other Departments and Agencies were already experiencing the problem: female cop with female cop=fighting; male cop with female cop=fucking.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Say, I used to solve simultaneous equations in high school! Lemme give this a whirl…

      female cop with female cop=fighting; male cop with female cop=fucking.

      Awesome!

    • delaney_blom

      You really opened the door for Wonketteers' wild police fantasies.

      male cop with male cop = fighting (crime!)

      male cop with male cop = fucking (minorities!)

    • Esteev

      female cop with female cop=cat fighting

      FIFY!

      • ttommyunger

        The guns take it to a new level.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

    • shelwood46

      Women are awful, They should not be allowed to work Men's jobs, amirite?

      • ttommyunger

        I luvs 'em myself. Thass my prob.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

        • Boojum

          Did you have sex with Lt. Monique Patterson? Because it seems to be the new "in" thing.

          • ttommyunger

            Alas, she is among the Billions who will escape my tender mercies.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • Negropolis

            "Tender Mercies" is the name Lt. Patterson dances under.

          • ttommyunger

            Much more original than the usual “Brown Sugar” or “Cinnamon”, you must admit.

  • delaney_blom

    For an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, find your nearest subordinate in internal affairs

    • UnholyMoses

      It's always odd when someone deletes a comment, only to find out someone had replied beforehand.

      So +1 for being fast.

      (The original joke was stale, IMHO. Pun totally intended.)

  • Not_So_Much

    This is good news for Kwame Kilpatrick.

    • Guppy

      He had the wisdom and foresight to keep it to sexts, not all over Twitter.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    And has he done sex on Lt. Monique Patterson?

    Who hasn't?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Based on Google Images, I'd go with Angelica. However, we all know that when it's right there, it's right there…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Don't do it honey — you'll miss the pleasure of seeing that cheating, lying bastard go down in flames.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Boy, they take "desk sergeant" to a whole new level in Detroit.

  • StealthMuslin

    Barney Fife used to pull this shit with Andy all the time.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Like John said: Happiness….

  • barto

    Well if Chester hasn't boned a subordinate he's clearly unqualified for the job.

  • http://for-the-turnstiles.blogspot.com 4TheTurnstiles

    She got transferred off of Reno911!?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      NIECY NASH LIBEL!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Man I like the kinds of sexy-triangulations that DON'T end up with a gun in your mouth much much better.

    • Boojum

      THIS is my rifle,
      THIS is my gun.
      One is for fighting,
      The other's for fun.

  • gullywompr

    Do you guys want me to make the "service weapon" joke, or did one of you want to?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Hey hey HEY now. We only allow jokes of the highest caliber on this here website!

      • gullywompr

        Eh, I thought I'd give it a shot.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Oh, I could tell you were gunning for success.

    • RedneckMuslin

      If you can see the shaft you're not swallowing deep enough?

    • eggsacklywright

      Bore-ing.

      • gullywompr

        Hey! you don't have to snipe at me!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Between this & the woman who texted nekkid pics of herself & is sleeping with her first cousin (and the thought of Mittens becoming president), I am afeared for this country.

    • FakaktaSouth

      And these are the people RUNNING things. They need to do whatever they do behind closed doors or in front of camera phones much better so it doesn't creep over into their jobs.

      • Boojum

        Or creep me out.

  • Terry

    Dave Bing, the mayor of Detroit and an honest man by every account, has a tough row to hoe with that city.

    • Tundra Grifter

      And some tough ho's to row.

    • Negropolis

      The problem is that he's even more hands-off and introverted than our president in a city where you have to scream just to be heard. Bing was never the right man for the job, and Detroiters were tricked by "I'm a businessman, I'll run the city ike a business" schtick that's become so popular, these days, across the aisle. Well, he found out very quickly that you can't run a city like a business, especially one as far gone as Detroit, which is basically going-out-of-business sale if you're going to compare it to a business.

  • RomanSolo3000

    You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.

  • JadedPreppy

    The reporter reading her Tweets in a "black lady voice" at 3:o0 is priceless.

  • eggsacklywright

    Naked City, indeed.

    • Esteev

      Nekked*

  • ttommyunger

    You may want justice. I pray for mercy.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Fringe benefits for Detroit civil work are awesome!

    • Guppy

      I'm sure it's the unions.

  • RedneckMuslin

    No, you're confused. Chester is the Molester. He's also boning Hester.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Bing just likes firing fucking cops, or so it seems.

  • HRH_Maddie

    The police are always shooting minorities.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I see a whole new Dick Wolf series:

    LAW & ORDER: LOL

  • Wadisay

    Detroit, where the cops are well and truly busted.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Nice to see that they are staying current and buying American (Smith and Wesson M&P). I don't thing the grip displayed is part of the normal SW training program, tho…

    • mayor_quimby

      Is that the new Reverse cowboy technique?

  • Guppy

    had her… weapon removed

    NOBAMAAAAA IS TAKING AWAY OUR GUNZZZZ!

  • Guppy

    Do you have to be mentally unstable to be a lady cop in Detroit, or does it just help?

    Meanwhile, Detroit seems to be having trouble finding a chief who doesn't treat the department as his own personal harem. Perhaps they should instead strive to live up to the example of the former Mayor Kilpatrick.

    (Seriously, when did Detroit become part of Florida?)

    • Negropolis

      You know what's crazy? It's not just the men. Detroit had a female chief under Kilpatrick (zing!), and she was in a relationship with future police chief Warren Evans who is mentioned above, and it was rumored she was having an affair with the mayor.

      Political incest is a problem, to say the least. Everyone is connected in some way or the other.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i have to say, so far cocktober has pretty much sucked.

  • Pithaughn

    Holy shit!! Don't put pictures like that on the front page you Wonk editors. Sheesh. NSFW and so forth.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    This is why we need Robo Cop more than ever, but not the horrible 2013 version.

    • Guppy

      RoboCop's been horrible for a lot longer than that, unfortunately.

  • thefrontpage

    DETROIT MAYOR'S OFFICE
    PRESS OFFICE
    PRESS RELEASE
    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
    OCTOBER 4, 2012

    Detroit (October 4, 2012)–Detroit Mayor Dave Bing has announced his choices for candidates to succeed his suspended police chief. "I have consulted with several top experts nationwide, and I feel comfortable that these talented men and women would be excellent candidates for police chief," Bing said in a statement. Bing's choices for Detroit police chief are: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, Gary Hart, Newt Gingrich, Jenna Jameson, and Mark Foley.

  • DahBoner

    A Godbee is kinda like a Dobee, except it's invisible on a cloud somewhere…

  • AlNewMan

    Dildo's have a rear sight?

    • Guppy

      Gotta find the clitoris somehow…

  • TribecaMike

    Kids, be a Goodbee not a Godbee.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Wonket, could ya make that photo bigger? It isn't disturbing enough.

  • Negropolis

    You want to know the sad thing about this? Crime has been so out of control in Detroit City for so many decades, now, that this "scandal" has gotten a collective "meh" from the citizenry. As far as they are concerned, the chief may as well be a Coney dog, because it's the same shit different year.

    What's even more sad is that Godbee was seen early on as one of the good guys. He's incredibly personable, but was always in way over his head.

    Godbee, you should have known this is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps…

    "Some pig", indeed.