COCKTOBER  12:50 pm October 4, 2012

Detroit Police Chiefs Just Can’t Stop Doing Sex On Their Lady Cops

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

teen suicide, don't do it!Well yikes, etc.! Pictured above is Detroit internal affairs (heh?) officer Angelica Robinson, who tweeted this angsty self-portrait after finding out that her lover, Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee, was sexin’ on someone else. Robinson, as you might have guessed, has had her service weapon removed from her possession, WHICH SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. Godbee? He’s been suspended. Wait, is it 2010 again? No, that was when the last Detroit chief of police, Warren Evans, got canned for porking his subordinate.

Evans, a former Wayne County sheriff, was appointed chief by [Mayor Dave] Bing in 2009 and fired after he raised the mayor’s ire by taking part in a promotional video for a cable police reality show. Bing later said he also fired Evans because the chief was romantically involved with Lt. Monique Patterson.

Godbee, too, had a romantic relationship with Patterson before she began dating Evans and when she was Godbee’s subordinate.

The prior relationship between Godbee and Patterson was disclosed publicly after Godbee was named interim chief, and Bing issued a strongly worded statement after its disclosure saying he wasn’t considering firing Godbee for having an affair with a subordinate.

Assistant Chief Chester Logan will assume Godbee’s responsibilities during the suspension, Bing said.

But has Chester Logan ever boned a subordinate? And has he done sex on Lt. Monique Patterson? It seems like someone should really find out.

[DailyMail]

 
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{ 110 comments }

ChernobylSoup October 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Police brutality; you're doing it wrong.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I dunno…was the Wonkette logo involved?

Crank_Tango October 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

OK…wtf is up with the Ws this morning?

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:14 am

Oh, trust me, in Detroit, the police do brutality proper and right-like. The department ain't under FBI monitoring for nothing. Speaking of which, Mayor Kilpatrick was porking the FBI monitor just to show you how corrupt the town is.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Pigs be porkin'.

Baconzgood October 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I'm Baconzgood and I approve this snark.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Can I have Patterson's phone number? She sounds dangerous

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Show her your service weapon.

Government_Job October 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Wait, there are folks still left in Detroit to police?

Oh, well. President Romney will sell it off to China.

sbj1964 October 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Just another Lifetime channel movie of the week.

ChernobylSoup October 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Ha ha. Black characters on Lifetime.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Awright, awright, BET movie of the week.

Happy now????

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Tyler Perry and the Suicidal Boo?

JadedPreppy October 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I used to consult for BET. This sounds like a typical day at their corporate office, so they would definitely do it right.

sbj1964 October 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Maybe for February?

Will_Panic October 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Maybe put saltpeter on their donuts and they can stop boning long enough to fight some crime.

I know "donuts" is cliche'. I'm sorry. But cops do eat donuts, right?

sudsmckenzie October 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Maybe that woman just watched the debate last night.

BarackMyWorld October 4, 2012 at 12:57 pm

SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK SIMPSON BOWLES DODD FRANK …bang!

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm

It has a great beat, easy to rhumba to. I give it a 90

Blueb4sinrise October 4, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I'm making one of these because I haven't suffered enough.
http://www.courvo.biz/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/

emmelemm October 4, 2012 at 1:51 pm

OK, I'm saving that link. I'm sure it will come in handy.

coolhandnuke October 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Chester Logan has one of those Boogie Nights names.
Ralph Godbee has one of those Mayberry RFD names.

prommie October 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Chicks dig a man in uniform.

no_gravity October 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I didn't know Detroit was still a city.

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:16 am

Neither does much of Detroit.

And I say that with love.

Schmannnity October 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Looks like she gives good gun.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Money shot.

I'll show myself out.

UnholyMoses October 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm

To protect and serve To fuck and get fired

Mumbletypeg October 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm

If she was serious, I'd say someone alert Demi Moore. She has experience with talking fragile minded tightrope walkers out of drastic measures, via teh twitterz.
Of course then she herself almost overdosed with her post-breakup plunge into inner turmoil, which I'm reminded of every time Ashton flirts and winks at giggling gaggles of fawning young women himself, with his Minolta or whichever camera brand made him their spokesperson.

James Michael Curley October 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Nikon, ending a century long era of quality and traditional Japanese honor.

Mumbletypeg October 4, 2012 at 2:51 pm

You know, though (and agreed, my family has tended to prefer Nikon all these years), quality comparisons aside — I have to hand it to whoever developed the catch phrase, "Only From The Mind Of Minolta"; I can still remember the guy's voice from the tv ads. I have tried without looking any up online, and cannot recall another camera brand slogan, [ruling out film manufacturers like 'Kodak moment'], unless it says more about my brain where a given jingle lodges than it does about the jingle-maker itself.

James Michael Curley October 4, 2012 at 3:03 pm

So what is it saying when one watches a complete, vey crafted commercial with a nice little plot and one can’t remember what the product was.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm

To protect and slurp.

delaney_blom October 4, 2012 at 12:57 pm

50 Shades of Blue?

UnholyMoses October 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Shouldn't the smaller headline be "Glocktober" … ?

ThundercatHo October 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Glockgobbler?

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Cap dumpster?

mrpuma2u October 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Office relationship always = FAIL
Office relationship in occupation where everyone has guns = TRAGIC EPIC FAIL
Sheesh.

GregComlish October 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

But my definition of relationship success is banging Lt. Monique Patterson

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 6:01 am

It's apparently a common definition.

weejee October 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Looks like Detroit got two triple crown winners yesterday.

BarackMyWorld October 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Fuck tha police…so to speak.

Mumbletypeg October 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm

My takeaway from this: We should all get out more.

ttommyunger October 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I retired just in time ('83). Very few females in the field at that time. I had maybe 4 or five out of 3,000 Recruits through the Academy during my time there ('71-'79). I only had to supervise one or two-ever. Other Departments and Agencies were already experiencing the problem: female cop with female cop=fighting; male cop with female cop=fucking.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Say, I used to solve simultaneous equations in high school! Lemme give this a whirl…

female cop with female cop=fighting; male cop with female cop=fucking.

Awesome!

delaney_blom October 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

You really opened the door for Wonketteers' wild police fantasies.

male cop with male cop = fighting (crime!)

male cop with male cop = fucking (minorities!)

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

female cop with female cop=cat fighting

FIFY!

ttommyunger October 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

The guns take it to a new level.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

shelwood46 October 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Women are awful, They should not be allowed to work Men's jobs, amirite?

ttommyunger October 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I luvs 'em myself. Thass my prob.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 6:03 am

Did you have sex with Lt. Monique Patterson? Because it seems to be the new "in" thing.

ttommyunger October 5, 2012 at 6:58 am

Alas, she is among the Billions who will escape my tender mercies.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

delaney_blom October 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm

For an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, find your nearest subordinate in internal affairs

UnholyMoses October 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm

It's always odd when someone deletes a comment, only to find out someone had replied beforehand.

So +1 for being fast.

(The original joke was stale, IMHO. Pun totally intended.)

Not_So_Much October 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

This is good news for Kwame Kilpatrick.

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 11:44 pm

He had the wisdom and foresight to keep it to sexts, not all over Twitter.

Chow Yun Flat October 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm

And has he done sex on Lt. Monique Patterson?

Who hasn't?

Tundra Grifter October 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Based on Google Images, I'd go with Angelica. However, we all know that when it's right there, it's right there…

SayItWithWookies October 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Don't do it honey — you'll miss the pleasure of seeing that cheating, lying bastard go down in flames.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Boy, they take "desk sergeant" to a whole new level in Detroit.

StealthMuslin October 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Barney Fife used to pull this shit with Andy all the time.

Toomush_Infer October 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Like John said: Happiness….

barto October 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Well if Chester hasn't boned a subordinate he's clearly unqualified for the job.

4TheTurnstiles October 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

She got transferred off of Reno911!?

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

NIECY NASH LIBEL!

FakaktaSouth October 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Man I like the kinds of sexy-triangulations that DON'T end up with a gun in your mouth much much better.

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 6:05 am

THIS is my rifle,
THIS is my gun.
One is for fighting,
The other's for fun.

gullywompr October 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Do you guys want me to make the "service weapon" joke, or did one of you want to?

elviouslyqueer October 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Hey hey HEY now. We only allow jokes of the highest caliber on this here website!

gullywompr October 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Eh, I thought I'd give it a shot.

elviouslyqueer October 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Oh, I could tell you were gunning for success.

RedneckMuslin October 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

If you can see the shaft you're not swallowing deep enough?

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Bore-ing.

gullywompr October 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Hey! you don't have to snipe at me!

Texan_Bulldog October 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Between this & the woman who texted nekkid pics of herself & is sleeping with her first cousin (and the thought of Mittens becoming president), I am afeared for this country.

FakaktaSouth October 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

And these are the people RUNNING things. They need to do whatever they do behind closed doors or in front of camera phones much better so it doesn't creep over into their jobs.

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 6:06 am

Or creep me out.

Terry October 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Dave Bing, the mayor of Detroit and an honest man by every account, has a tough row to hoe with that city.

Tundra Grifter October 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

And some tough ho's to row.

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:21 am

The problem is that he's even more hands-off and introverted than our president in a city where you have to scream just to be heard. Bing was never the right man for the job, and Detroiters were tricked by "I'm a businessman, I'll run the city ike a business" schtick that's become so popular, these days, across the aisle. Well, he found out very quickly that you can't run a city like a business, especially one as far gone as Detroit, which is basically going-out-of-business sale if you're going to compare it to a business.

RomanSolo3000 October 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.

JadedPreppy October 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

The reporter reading her Tweets in a "black lady voice" at 3:o0 is priceless.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Naked City, indeed.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Nekked*

ttommyunger October 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

You may want justice. I pray for mercy.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

KeepFnThatChicken October 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Fringe benefits for Detroit civil work are awesome!

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 11:47 pm

I'm sure it's the unions.

RedneckMuslin October 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

No, you're confused. Chester is the Molester. He's also boning Hester.

Oblios_Cap October 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Bing just likes firing fucking cops, or so it seems.

HRH_Maddie October 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The police are always shooting minorities.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I see a whole new Dick Wolf series:

LAW & ORDER: LOL

Wadisay October 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Detroit, where the cops are well and truly busted.

GunToting[Redacted] October 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Nice to see that they are staying current and buying American (Smith and Wesson M&P). I don't thing the grip displayed is part of the normal SW training program, tho…

mayor_quimby October 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Is that the new Reverse cowboy technique?

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

had her… weapon removed

NOBAMAAAAA IS TAKING AWAY OUR GUNZZZZ!

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Do you have to be mentally unstable to be a lady cop in Detroit, or does it just help?

Meanwhile, Detroit seems to be having trouble finding a chief who doesn't treat the department as his own personal harem. Perhaps they should instead strive to live up to the example of the former Mayor Kilpatrick.

(Seriously, when did Detroit become part of Florida?)

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:24 am

You know what's crazy? It's not just the men. Detroit had a female chief under Kilpatrick (zing!), and she was in a relationship with future police chief Warren Evans who is mentioned above, and it was rumored she was having an affair with the mayor.

Political incest is a problem, to say the least. Everyone is connected in some way or the other.

fuflans October 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

i have to say, so far cocktober has pretty much sucked.

Pithaughn October 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Holy shit!! Don't put pictures like that on the front page you Wonk editors. Sheesh. NSFW and so forth.

ManchuCandidate October 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

This is why we need Robo Cop more than ever, but not the horrible 2013 version.

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 11:48 pm

RoboCop's been horrible for a lot longer than that, unfortunately.

thefrontpage October 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

DETROIT MAYOR'S OFFICE
PRESS OFFICE
PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
OCTOBER 4, 2012

Detroit (October 4, 2012)–Detroit Mayor Dave Bing has announced his choices for candidates to succeed his suspended police chief. "I have consulted with several top experts nationwide, and I feel comfortable that these talented men and women would be excellent candidates for police chief," Bing said in a statement. Bing's choices for Detroit police chief are: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, Gary Hart, Newt Gingrich, Jenna Jameson, and Mark Foley.

DahBoner October 4, 2012 at 3:39 pm

A Godbee is kinda like a Dobee, except it's invisible on a cloud somewhere…

AlNewMan October 4, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Dildo's have a rear sight?

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Gotta find the clitoris somehow…

TribecaMike October 4, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Kids, be a Goodbee not a Godbee.

Jukesgrrl October 4, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Wonket, could ya make that photo bigger? It isn't disturbing enough.

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:06 am

You want to know the sad thing about this? Crime has been so out of control in Detroit City for so many decades, now, that this "scandal" has gotten a collective "meh" from the citizenry. As far as they are concerned, the chief may as well be a Coney dog, because it's the same shit different year.

What's even more sad is that Godbee was seen early on as one of the good guys. He's incredibly personable, but was always in way over his head.

Godbee, you should have known this is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps…

"Some pig", indeed.

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 8:00 am

"Tender Mercies" is the name Lt. Patterson dances under.

ttommyunger October 5, 2012 at 10:23 am

Much more original than the usual “Brown Sugar” or “Cinnamon”, you must admit.

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