Stunning Maine GOP Discovery: Dem Challenger Is Socialist Video Game Psycho

by Rich Abdill

DANGER DANGERCitizens of Maine State Senate District 25, some grave news today: your Democratic candidate for office… has been on the computer. Possibly every day. Possibly… having a good time.

She plays World of Warcraft, you see. She plays it so good. And you know what THAT means: serious, disturbing sociopathic tendencies, obviously.

From the Maine GOP, which appears to be totally serious:

Colleen Lachowicz, the Democratic candidate for State Senate District 25 (Waterville), has been living a time-consuming double life as a member of the World of Warcraft community. World of Warcraft is an online gaming network where people play a fantasy role-playing game in an imaginary world called “Azeroth.”

OH LORD, she plays a video game? Be still my heart! And to think, we almost elected her to office in the 41st most populous state in These Uniteds. Surely no Maine Republican would stoop so low as to have hobbies.

Oh, wait, the INCUMBENT REPUBLICAN has hobbies?

Whatever could they be? Let us creepily stalk State Sen. Thomas H. Martin Jr. on the Facebok, as he hath done to Colleen. Oooo, lookie here! One of his Facebook likes is “Get Naked.” What’s that organization into?

Get Naked provides entertainment for those interested in having a good time drinking, dancing and partying the night away.

Well, that is definitely less weird than playing a computer game. In the computer game, Ms. Lachowicz pretends to STAB PEOPLE. Oh, Martin likes “V-Town Paintball” on Facebook too? That’s different too. Stabbing people on the internet is way worse than shooting them in real life. We should discuss how she is unfit for office, especially compared to Mr. Get Naked Paintballer, who loves guns so much he wants them on license plates.

But there’s more! The sleuths over at the GOP have also discerned that Lachowicz has been posting like a common Communist on — get ready for it — Daily Kos. And they have some of her comments, which are vaguely hilarious when taken out of context. Take this one for example:

Now if you’ll excuse me, I may have to go and hunt down Grover Norquist and drown HIM in my bath tub.

Whoa whoa whoa. This lady sounds crrraaaazy! She wants to drown people in bathtubs! Even people who have reduced policy discussions to vague, stupid platitudes don’t deserve to die in bathtubs! But, surprisingly, this was not the whole comment, which we can find, because the internet is the same for everybody who isn’t North Korea.

I want a tax policy that allows our country to respond to people in need. I want a tax policy that puts the grown-ups in charge. I want a tax policy that addresses the inequities and racial disparities in our country. I want a tax policy that doesn’t leave the poor, sick and brown to fend for themselves. I want a tax policy that funds cities and addresses real known risks to our citizens.

Now is the time to demand this. The insanity has gone on long enough. Individuals like me and others can not respond like a funded and organized government effort. Now if you’ll excuse me, I may have to go and hunt down Grover Norquist and drown HIM in my bath tub.

Oh, man. It’s even worse than we thought — drowning people, and tax reasonableness. Income inequality?! WHO IS THIS MONSTER? We should be doubly irritated, too, that she has the nerve to go online and suggest crazy things like playing video games is more fun than work and how her WoW guild is — OH NO! — “progressive.” Just look how awful she is:

We’re progressive…in fact we joke about being a socialist guild. But the best part is that everyone does their job helping everyone else out. It’s not just about the [level] 80s helping each other. It’s about all our crafters making items for lower level guildies. Or crafting items and just sticking them in the guild bank for others to use. Or offering to help people out in quests.

You heard it here first, folks! Your Democratic candidate is jokingly an internet socialist, which means she helps disadvantaged gamers when they need it, which is obviously the opposite of America, and we should make a creepy website (“Colleen’s World”!) dedicated to her online exploits, to expose her awful imaginary generosity. FOR AMERICA. [Maine GOP]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 198 comments }

weejee October 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

How soon before we discover that a candidate is a Wonkette poster???? The horror!!1!

OzoneTom October 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Sounds like she'd fit right in.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

NERDS!

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I think most Wonkette posters are too jaded to be candidates, of course I could be projecting.

Respitetini October 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm

And by "jaded" you mean "drunk," right?

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Could still qualify as a write-in candidate for the satisfaction of voting for oneself.

PsycWench October 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

God knows I'd be bounced out.

iTuna October 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I am secretly Big John Cornyn.

HistoriCat October 4, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Ew.

Steverino247 October 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Former candidate and occasional WoW player checking in. I've even posted at DK, too.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Your candor disqualifies you from holding orifice.

Steverino247 October 5, 2012 at 9:58 am

Explains my four defeats. Made the R's spend a shitload of money to beat me, though, and one of them is still in Federal prison. WIN!

Lascauxcaveman October 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

If she's posting on Kos, she's probably not ready for the big leagues of Wonkette-level snark. She may be more fit for public office that way, however.

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 6:49 pm

She's only running for the state legislature.

RufusTFirefly October 4, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I'm actually James O'Keefe. I'm infiltrating…

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 5:27 am

Sorry, not buying it. You spelled infiltrating correctly.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Whirled of WarCrap, Jesus. Read a fucking book.

weejee October 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Read a fucking book

The Teatards' lips get tired.

poorgradstudent October 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

…You can do both. Just saying.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I know, I'm just feeling cranky today.

poorgradstudent October 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

It's okay. I will admit that playing video games does cut into my porn…I mean, reading time.

Lascauxcaveman October 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I quit playing video games for the same reason I quit smoking dope, so many years ago. Just too time consuming. It wears you down, after awhile.

Terry October 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

At least she's not playing EVE, for heaven's sake.

YouFail4eva October 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Hey, what's wrong with EVE? An upright capitalist game like that should be perfectly acceptable!

Terry October 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

- Based in Iceland, which is full of foreigners, hippies, and people who eat rotten shark meat

- Involves fighting with or against groups of teenagers from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet republics. Commies, obviously.

emmelemm October 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Don't forget Bjork.

Chow Yun Flat October 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Read a fucking book.

Reading is much worse than video games on the Republican list of mortal sins.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Ya, right up there with abortioning.

HogeyeGrex October 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Nopantsmcgee October 4, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I do read a fucking book. And I play WoW for 6 years now and have zero intention to stop. Go fuck a jellyfish.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

There, there. That was just Wonket-type seriosity.

Nesnora October 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm

YES, this. Same here.

Lucidamente1 October 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

"I may have to go and hunt down Grover Norquist and drown HIM in my bath tub. After which I will skullfuck him, the little retard."

coolhandnuke October 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Just don't use hydrochloric acid in the tub to dissolve the mess as Jesse found out in Breaking Bad.

PhilippePetain October 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

SPOILER ALERT

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Ya, the foley artists outdid themselves on that one.

Bezoar October 5, 2012 at 7:33 am

If you seriously gotta dissolve a body, use sulfuric acid. Everything but the gallstones goes.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 4, 2012 at 6:14 pm

with votes

JudasPeckerwood October 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Personally, I prefer to waste my time on the internet in the far superior World of Wonkette.

emmelemm October 4, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Amen.

BaldarTFlagass October 4, 2012 at 1:38 pm

People only get killed with votes, here.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Does skullfucking count?

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

With Diebold machines.

AbandonHope_ October 4, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I'm a Level 50 Socialist Ne'er-do-well with a +4 Helmet of Random Obscenities and a Magical Sword of Sudden Ennui!

Mumbletypeg October 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Sometimes I'm jealous of the peeps who merely lead double lives.
I would need higher multiples than that to accomplish all I want to do with my one life.

FakaktaSouth October 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Now if you’ll excuse me, I may have to go and hunt down Grover Norquist and drown HIM in my bath tub.

See? If she'da just hung out with us, she'd know she's s'posed to add "with votes." You can do ANYthing with votes.

kittensdontlie October 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Or if he was sampling the bathtub gin and 'accidently' fell in.

James Michael Curley October 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

No, Mrs. McGrath I don't think he suffered. In fact he got out twice to pee.

gullywompr October 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Except one.

prommie October 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm

While you are in there, you might was well.

FakaktaSouth October 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Egads, the last thing I want in my bathtub with me is the Grover. That voice. Ew, he would ruin everything. "Erm, yer stepping on me there lady" Just drown (vote style) already little weird dude, you broke my country.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

No, drown him in the bathtub with votes! Always with votes!

FakaktaSouth October 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Cheers, co-computer nerd of wonketteer-murder.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Damn you and your faster typing!

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 5:30 am

I like a woman with fast hands.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Or in Grover's case, tax hikes!

Beowoof October 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Hey since Grover wants to get rid of all taxes, let's just send him the bills for all that shit he likes, such as the military. Oh and for Grover, I am sorry but water would be more appropriate for him and hopefully the tub will be in Somalia.

freakishlywrong October 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Weird. The Progressive likes war games and the conservatard likes sexy-time party games. Does. Not. Compute.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

What are "Things We Can't Have In Real Life, Alex?"

Baconzgood October 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"It’s not just about the [level] 80s helping each other. It’s about all our crafters making items for lower level guildies. Or crafting items and just sticking them in the guild bank for others to use."

I have no idea what she's talking about.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I don't play (I don't!) but, in other words, the high level (rich) characters help the lower level (poors) for the betterment of their entire "guild," or gang.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Oh, oh, sounds like wealf redistribution, innit?

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

No no! It's dangling down bootstraps for them to lift themselves up by.

They built that!

Beowoof October 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Well you are trying to grab the boot strap of the wealthy, in Washington you are trying to grab that strap of the boot that is on your neck.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

It ain't no elf redistribution!

BOOM *rimshot*

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Socialiszim!

BaldarTFlagass October 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I think that's probably a good thing.

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

It's pretty much socialism, but with worse spelling and homophobic slurs.

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

You left out racist and anti-woman slurs!

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Hey, it's in the constitution: I pledge allegiance to Grover Norkvist with justice uber alles.

SexySmurf October 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

At least she's not playing as one of those retarded pandas.

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

YES. When I saw the trailer for that expansion, my heart sank. I realized then that the Care Bear flipping out on screen would soon be ganking me for the next three years. Humiliating insult to injury.

Nopantsmcgee October 4, 2012 at 2:43 pm

And yet it turns out to be probably the best expan since BC.

Nesnora October 4, 2012 at 3:11 pm

they had me at "masked tanuki"…

I hated the idea of pandas too until I saw how much the Horde and Alliance are raping their homeland…

deoliver47 October 5, 2012 at 8:45 am

She is one of my Wreck List Guildees, and don't know if she has rolled a panda yet. I love mine

mrpuma2u October 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Collen replies "STFU n00bs XD"

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

L 2 campaign noobcakes

coolhandnuke October 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Anyone care to inform these Maine GOP anti-video violence zealots that the Wars they so vocally support but rarely participate in, are being run by kids with joysticks in the Nevada desert.

ChernobylSoup October 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

So this Azeroth place… they have taxes there?

mrpuma2u October 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Yeah it's called a monthly sub fee, and they are so friggin harsh with the enforcement that if you don't pay they kick you out. They aren't pussies about it like the IRS.

deanbooth October 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Tom Martin plays a fantasy role-playing game in an imaginary world he calls “Real America.”

KeepFnThatChicken October 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

"Mr. Chicken, on your first day of office, what will you do?"

I am going to prioritize my meeting schedule with the legislature between refreshing on Wonkette.

"Is that all?"

I don't recommend you "friend" me on Facebook, actually. That ain't really me; that's a staffer.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Oh come on! Don't you know the proper liberal response to any reporters question is "When I returned, Mary Jo and the car were gone"?

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

No sex?

What's the point?

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Who needs sex when you have an Internet connection? Wait…

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

*fingersnap*

Why….if we combined them….

WORLD OF WHORECRAFT!

Genius! You're a fucking genius!

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

We'll make it an expansion pack.

bobbert October 4, 2012 at 6:55 pm

"If you have an expansion lasting more than four hours …."

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Not quite. You've never been to an erotic roleplay server, which I suggest you DON'T visit. To be honest, the Wonkette logo is hotter.

OneYieldRegular October 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Whoever gets elected, I hope it's to govern nothing more than a small fiefdom in Second Farm Life Ville or whatever.

ttommyunger October 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Still smiling about the Norquist visual…..Sweeeeeeeet!

freakishlywrong October 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I simply cannot wait until fucking November 7.

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I really cannot up fist this enough.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Whatever could they be? Let us creepily stalk State Sen. Thomas H. Martin Jr. on the Facebok, as he hath done to Colleen. Oooo, lookie here! One of his Facebook likes is “Get Naked.”

*shielding eyes*

DO. NOT. WANT!

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

More for us! Well, less in this case but you know what I mean.

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

DO. NOT. WANT! EVER

poorgradstudent October 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I like how they play up the "She's lazy and doesn't work!" angle but of course if it turned out the GOP candidate spent hours each day watching sports and playing fantasy football then it would be a sign that this is a Real Person You Can Have A Beer With.

Now if you'll excuse me I'll play a round of "Shin Megami Tensei II", where you eventually raise an army of demons in a post-apocalyptic environment and eventually kill God, which I assume will alone disqualify me from political office (if commenting regularly on Wonkette hasn't already).

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Great game.

As for killing your chances as politician the grad student part does that more efficiently than SMT, Wonkette, or torturing small animals.

poorgradstudent October 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

This is true. On a related note I still remember a professor back in the day telling me that the best way to never qualify for jury duty is to get a PhD.

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Unfortunately, not true. I used to think the same (social psychology Ph.D.) but I did two days of jury duty last year on a traffic accident here on Baltimore city. Of course here they call 1000 to get 300 to show up.

Boojum October 5, 2012 at 5:35 am

No, get a JD. I'll never sit on a jury.

iTuna October 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Persona 2? Digital Devil Saga 2? Devil Survivor 2? Devil Summoner 2? Or old-ass Shin Megami Tensei 2? CONTEXT, DAMMIT

poorgradstudent October 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Old-ass Shin Megami Tensei 2! The Persona series were my gateway drug.

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Psshhah! Go Xenogears or go home.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Well at least she doesn't live in her parent's basement.

She doesn't live in her parents basement does she?

freakishlywrong October 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

"Blah, blah, blah, something about Cheetos"

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

"MY PARENTS LIVE WITH ME!"

102415 October 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

It's a really nice basement.

SayItWithWookies October 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm

This is shocking news — who let Maine have the internet? I just figured their PTAs were still distributing flyers warning parents about the dangers of playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Terry October 4, 2012 at 1:43 pm

They have the internet but it's powered by lobsters walking on miniature treadmills. The admins are all surly Francophones from up by the Canadian border who refuse to speak English.

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

(phone rings)

"Air Fraunce, kin ah hep ye?

– Laurie Anderson

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

By the Light, I still remember when people freaked out about us playing Magic: The Gathering in middle school, and not because it was distracting. THEY SAY IT'S ABOUT MAGIC AND THEY'RE CARDS THEY MUST BE TAROT CARDS BURN THEM

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm

How many GOPers can operate MS Outlook?

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Considering the number of pinheads in the group, maybe infinity?

eggsacklywright October 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I think my refresh finger is getting carpal-tunnely.

sudsmckenzie October 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm

And she's a Ginger, if I had pearls I would be clutching them right now.

102415 October 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I'll lend you mine.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Is it bad of me that I find her avatar sexier than she is?

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:38 pm

No, but they do have support guilds for that.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

In WoW?

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Not necessarily. Those lady orcs rock some awesome haircuts.

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:46 am

Aren't most of our avatars better looking than us? Otherwise, we wouldn't pick them.

elviouslyqueer October 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Man, the "Get Naked" Facebook page is so very, very classy. Especially if you're a Cheeto-encrusted 45-year-old whose last meaningful sexual encounter was masturbating a hamster in the third grade.

emmelemm October 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Poor hamster.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

It was a science project, I said! A SCIENCE project! Why won't you people listen???!?!?!?!

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I hope the class was Pass/Fail.

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 1:46 pm

This evokes that page so well that I am afraid going there would only lead to disappointment.

Baconzgood October 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

You don't know me!

KeepFnThatChicken October 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I hope Sen. Thomas H. Martin gets eaten by a grue.

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Or turned into a mini Mr T! I pity the grue!

Baconzgood October 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

GASP!!!!!! A snarky progressive. I've never seen anything like that on the interwebz.

TheGyrus October 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

She should have picked a more acceptable hobby, like killing animals for sport.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

*A wild animal appears*

*Strong white male uses shotgun*

<It's super effective! but not on his small penis>

Geminisunmars October 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Rabbits and rodents are what certain prezendental candydates like to kill.

jqheywood October 5, 2012 at 12:04 am

…and what-have-you….varmints if you will……

CindynEncinitas October 4, 2012 at 3:40 pm

You mean Angry Birds, right?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I think the last video game I got addicted to was Bad Day on the Midway. Everyone dies a horrible death after about an hour. Good times.

emmelemm October 4, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Pretty sure the last video game I played was Frogger. Actual arcade version. At SpacePort, on the Ave, in the 80s.

viennawoods13 October 4, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I was a Tempest fan myself.

DerrickWildcat October 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I think that's how you win the election in S. Korea.

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm

What, just for playing a rogue? That's as big of an achievement as being Christian in America. Come back when you've got a candidate who plays Protoss.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Up fist for the SC reference.

PsycWench October 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I thought it was no one's business what you did in your spare time as long as it wasn't clearly illegal. Haven't I heard a Republican insinuate that?

One_who_wanders October 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

That is only true if you are male. And a Republican.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Even then there is a thin line… between one stall and another.

SpeedoFart October 4, 2012 at 2:38 pm

And not ghey.

ThankYouJeebus October 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

What a lame Geektober surprise. Should've waited for Nerdvember.

102415 October 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I can't stand that! Why can't we just enjoy one holiday at a time?

RedneckMuslin October 4, 2012 at 1:43 pm

She can't play WoW. She's a girl!

CindynEncinitas October 4, 2012 at 3:40 pm

She plays badly, wearing a leather bustier, okay?

johnnyzhivago October 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

She said she's an orc to get into Harvard, but look at her – does she really look like one?

sbj1964 October 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

A Dem. plays WoW for fun.A Rep.pulls the wings off of flies for fun.

Esteev October 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

You mean pulls the rug out from under the middle class.

chascates October 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

As long as either candidate is into violence for a hobby democracy is served.

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Hey, it's Brewfest time right now! (Brewfest = in-game Octoberfest knock-off holiday)

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I normally despise rogues with Righteous Fury, but this makes me want to stab someone. With a Saronite Dreadrazor of +5 Votes.

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Don't you mean rouges?

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Why, yes I did. My fury is just that righteous. And by "righteous" I mean "utterly debilitating."

Guppy October 4, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Wait… have we truly gone full-circle on the "rogue vs. rouge" thing?

Troglodeity October 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

They really have no idea how ridiculous that mailer makes them look, do they?

actor212 October 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I owe my daughter an apology and will now restore her Minecraft privileges.

102415 October 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Let her run for Governor next. In Maine I think this is a plus.

Chet Kincaid_ October 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

That's not so bad. It could have been something worse, like Volcano Monitoring (eye-roll)!!

Blueb4sinrise October 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

If Bamz had been more aggressive last night, this wouldn't have happened.

Toomush_Infer October 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Before the GOP catch me, I guess it's time to confess: I'm really Michelle Obama….

LibertyLover October 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Tell us the secret to those lovely arms, Michelle.

LibertyLover October 4, 2012 at 2:10 pm

You see? This is why I can never run for office. Someday, someone will discover my secret identity is Diana Prince and I have an invisible corporate jet. And that I have said some crude things on a blog by the name of Wonkette.

DerrickWildcat October 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Those big online games are fun if you like to get called Fag every 3 minutes by 9 year olds.

BornInATrailer October 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Sounds like the kinda thing a fag would say.

BarackMyWorld October 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm

More like World of Borecraft! Amirite?

TribecaMike October 4, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Helm of the Forgotten Protector* libel!

* I had to look that up cuz I don't care about WOW.

randcoolcatdaddy October 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Meh. Wake me when she's playing an assassination orc at a Ren Faire.

LibertyLover October 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

One of my offspring plays WoW… My recollections of it is that you run around with hordes of other people and going on raids of some such or another… together. You did not build it alone. Sort of like real life.

Also you can get killed in many different ways and still come back to life. (Not at all like real life.) No one lies on a cot in WoW without health care suffering from cancer until you die.

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 5:41 pm

True on that last part, but someone might very well "hump" your corpse for minutes on end.

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

By the logic of this mailer, I am secretly a time-traveling, alien-fighting theoretical physicist with a rockin' goatee. A girl can dream, anyway.

LibertyLover October 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

At least she's not playing Farmville…. that's real socialism.

barto October 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Unfortunately they lost most of their audience with the word "online".

James Michael Curley October 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I'm still trying to get the Aluminum Mallard out of the trash compactor so I can get to the future to meet my life's love Beatrice Creakworm Wankmeister.

ChrisM2011 October 4, 2012 at 2:53 pm

If Leeroy Jenkins isn't part of her cabinet, I'm not interested…

Nesnora October 4, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I've been playing WoW since 2006 and here's some shockers: I love books and I read daily, I have a good job in the thing I actually went to college for, I have a boyfriend of five years I met through the game and we live in a brownstone, not a basement and we are not virgins and are huge sluts for each other. However I'm not opposed to basements, or basement sex, possibly with wizard hats.

My name is Lost on Wyrmrest Accord and I'm an 85 affliction horde warlock.

Thank you and have a nice fucking day.

Nopantsmcgee October 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Nicely put. Even for a Horde.

schvitzatura October 4, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Studies have found that the average World of Warcraft gamer is 28 and spends 22.7 hours per week playing.

Wait until a LARPer tries to run for office…wait, that would be most of the GOPer wide-stancers and their NPC buttbois.

Blunderthing October 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I, for one, welcome my new World of Warcraft overlords.

CindynEncinitas October 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm

We're in yer base, pwning yer noobs, with votes.

DahBoner October 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm

This isn't like The Old Days where Gum'mint workers would read newspapers and play Solataire with actual fucking playing cards

TribecaMike October 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Why do politicians hate point-and-click adventure games? : (

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Myst libel!!!

docterry6973 October 4, 2012 at 5:05 pm

The GOP is on to something here. What kind of loser spends all day sitting in front of a computer? Oh, wait…

CommieLibunatic October 4, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Better to be a make-believe barbarian than a real-life drinky-holic. LOK'TAR OGAR

Jukesgrrl October 4, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Isn't Maine right up against that place where the state legislature likes to debate teh gheys wriggling their boners in excrement? Sounds like a win for Sen. Get Naked.

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:29 am

Under his likes he lists the TV show Reba (which is admittedly funny in a classic sitcom kind of way) twice, and Tim McGraw under music. Is this guy running for a seat in Maine or Tennessee?

Negropolis October 5, 2012 at 1:49 am

Is anyone else getting the whole "she's a spinster, weirdo lesbian" 'cause she's a female that enjoys video games vibe from the accusations?

Jennyjen798 October 5, 2012 at 4:45 am

Who knew a WoW player was lower than a politician!? That should be on the box dammit!

So I guess I could never run for office now. Well, now that easy power and money can't be had by political office… I better get to slinging some drugs. BRB. Working my way up to drug lord!

Joey_Blau October 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

so… with this help with the lobsterman vote?

Joey_Blau October 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I spend hours playing Panzer Campaigns : Normandy…

keinsignal November 14, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Just a followup on this – she won!

Trinket October 4, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I like Bjork.

Doktor Zoom October 4, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Pizza!

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