Oh No Democrats It Is Time For Your Mass Suicide!

  hari kari y'all

also, da judgeYour Editrix was in the stupid position last night of having gone to a debate party with her people, the Obamatards. This was stupid because when Wonkette broke on good ol’ Jim and Ken, she had to go outside to start emailing everyone in the world to try to fix it, and also it was really really hard to get a drink and so the five million mentions of “the middle class” went undrunk. Bad Decision jeans! But was it as terrible a night for our Barry Bamz as the entire Internet and Chris Matthews have decided, in their handwritten suicide notes? (Andrew Sullivan, please put out your hair.) Well, we didn’t think so — we saw a fairly boring B. Hussein (as in most of his debates) and the same cracked-out, hyper, stuttering Miffed who showed up to all the primary fiascos. (The main difference being Miffed was more personable than we’ve seen him before, and didn’t insult anyone to their faces.)

But this yen for Fightin’ O — that’s never been his style. He’s civil, he’s a gentleman, and when he’s pissed he’s not a big scary black man, he’s more of an acerbic sly put-down guy (“you’re likable enough, Hillary”), and when they land they’re hilarious, and when they don’t, they’re a bit dicky (“you’re likable enough, Hillary”). He wasn’t a dick last night, but he was positively made of zingers, like his knock on Romney not being able to share his secret plans because they’re “too good.” You just didn’t notice because you weren’t at an Obamatard party filled with people loving and hanging on his every word and looking shocked by Romney’s breathtaking lies every time words came from his mouth.

Of course, your Editrix is terrible at judging these, considering she knew damn well Al Gore ate George W. Bush and made a soup of his bones, until two days later when the teevee people decided “fuck that guy.”

Anyway, there are two more of these plus Old Handsome Joe, so everybody get ready to whine and moan and caterwaul your imminent death some more. Isn’t that what Dems do best?

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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260 comments

  1. Barbara_

    Sorry about your having to be sober last night. Today is a new day.

    Did you see the tweet that someone who works for KitchenAid sent that said:
    “Obamas gma even knew it was going 2 b bad! ‘She died 3 days b4 he became president’. #nbcpolitics,” @KitchenAidUSA

    If anyone needs a job, I'm just sayin'….

    1. Terry

      Kitchen Aid followed up with an apology and said that person would no longer be tweeting for the company. I bet they're getting a lot of calls and emails today.

    2. 102415

      Sadly, for Whirpool/ Kitchenaide, I actually am a person who will be buying all new top end appliances in about two months. I need to see this person's face and I need to know they will never get another jerb anywhere but Walmart ever again. And it needs to be soon. I'm at the brochure stage already.

      1. Katydid

        Well, if it helps, I just got a notice that my GE dishwasher might explode any day, so you can either cross them off your list, or run right out and buy one, depending on whether you're underwater on your mortgage or not.

    3. finallyhappy

      why would someone be so stupid as to tweet using their company in the the tweet? Oh, why am I asking that question?

    1. eggsacklywright

      It appears that the question for voters is do we want a quick ride in that handbasket or a slow one. I am despair.

  2. Respitetini

    Meh, they weren't going to ask about Drones or NDAA or the failed War on Internetz (ACTA, SOPA), so I watched the Yankees instead. How'd your guy do, Wonketteers?

  3. Yellerdawg

    And it's Thursday! Time to start the warm up for the weekend. Stretches are important people!

    Pour and Lift! and Pour and Lift! Four more…

  4. Typodong3

    Its over. Romney didnt personally insult me this time. I guess I will have to vote for h… oh FUCK NO. Hes still a terrible person, rotten politician, and would drag this country down into a stinky black hole of corruption, greed and awfulness. Whew. Caught myself there.

    1. evoshandor

      Lets not forget the 4 mid to late 70's rapidly aging and decrepit supreme court justices that will likely need replacing in the next 4 years. (sorry Ms. Ginsberg, Mr. Breyer). If there was only one reason to re-elect Obama, this would be it.

  5. noodlesalad

    Andrew Sullivan really classed up the place with the start of his live blog. "A nervous but competent beginning by Obama, but I'm struck by the visuals. Romney just looks like a classic president and Obama a very different one. The visuals are with Romney."

    When I saw that, right at the start, I knew it was going to suck for Obama, because he's black and not allowed to get angry when people lie and smirk at him.

    And, seriously, fuck Andrew Sullivan. That is some racist bullshit and he needs to get called on it.

    1. La_Cieca

      I realize that calling Sully a narcissist is about a thousand orders of magnitude more of a cliche than observing that Romney acts like a robot, but still. A huge flaw in Sullivan's ability as a political analyst has always been that he not only mistakes his immediate intuitive reaction as fact, but that he deludes himself that this "fact" is so self-evident that it is universally accepted as stipulated.

      The instant reaction is a handy skill to have when you're one of a panel of talking heads on live television, because the whole point is to throw a lot of ideas out as fast as possible, and any attempt at nuance is going to get talked over. But that kind of "blink" reaction is just deadly for a writer, especially one without an editor, because we hold writers, even bloggers, to a higher level of rationality than we do talking heads (i.e., > 0).

      I do agree, though, that Romney looked very presidential. I hope he tipped his barber well for the superb "Reed Richards" 'do.

      1. mmeetoilenoir

        The "looks" thing just made me think of a logic puzzle: there's two barbers in a town. One looks a hot mess; the other looks clean and polished. Who do you visit?

          1. tessiee

            A good stylist *could* possibly cut his/her own hair, but I don't think that holds true for tattoo artists.

      2. tessiee

        "he not only mistakes his immediate intuitive reaction as fact, but that he deludes himself that this "fact" is so self-evident that it is universally accepted as stipulated."

        Perfect. Sentences like this, and the insight that inspires them, are one of the reasons why I read wonkette every chance I get. PS It's also true of the entire Republican Party and their supporters dupes.

        "I hope he tipped his barber well for the superb "Reed Richards" 'do."

        Ohhhh-ho-ho, I think we ALL know the answer to THAT!

      1. Crank_Tango

        Luckily enough, I have managed to go all these years without ever figuring out who he is. I think he is a gay stoner, but that's all I got, and I might be thinking of someone else whom I have never read.

    2. tessiee

      "he's black and not allowed to get angry"

      Understood. And, given the rather strikingly limited intellect of the folks in Candyland, "weak", the only other choice, was preferable to "angry militant black guy, ooh scary!".

    3. Trinket

      "A huge flaw in Sullivan's ability as a political analyst has always been that he not only mistakes his immediate intuitive reaction as fact, but that he deludes himself that this "fact" is so self-evident that it is universally accepted as stipulated."

      WOW, that is well said! No snark.

  6. lisawines

    I didn't watch. I was snoozing. But I immediately checked into Wonkette comments when I woke up and that made me so happy I didn't care. Also too, there were some people with the "Obama is a long-game player" POV and so I decided to jump on their bandwagon and ride it all the way to the next debate.

    1. schvitzatura

      Evan Williams Green lulled me into a gentle slumber, shortly after 20:00 hours; I awoke to Gwen Ifill and PBS company (eff Phelps and the Refalca he rode in on) talking about what a bang-up jerb Viscount Hairgel did. To the man cave and review the live blog stream:

      It was all rainbows and unicorns and blueness of Bammerz "Vorwarts", kind of like when Irvin McDowell stepped off for Richmond…

      Fast forward, debate starts, Obama feeding his best efforts piece-meal into the fray; and then:

      "Look at Mittster standing there like a hyperkinetic wall of BS and FlipFloppery! He's outclassed by the Kenyan Socialist in all things of an elocutive nature, but he's landing blow after blow"

      (The part of widow Judith Carter Henry was played by Jim Lehrer this last evening…)

      And by the end it was all tears, gnashing of teefers, overturned carriages (and empty eau de vie bottles scattered) and your Wonkeditrix , overcome by the vapors, having expected an easy night of kibitzing over light hors d'oeuvres.

      That was it, in a nutshell, all 1st Bull Run-like and all.

      Next will be Bloody Antietam (Biden vs. Ryan), where the meat of all the ProgressiveModerate vs. Teatard ideologies will be hashed out.

      Then on to the watershed 2nd meeting between O'bams and RMoney; will it be a close run thing (Gettysburg)?

      After that, it gets blurry, future is always in motion thingee. Either we enter normalcy and a predicted by the numbers Obama lead or into Cloud Cuckooland of punditry and other assorted bullshit making the case for RMoney.

      My only suggestion is to replace Jimbo L. with a couple of chess clocks and wire both O and Mittster up with tasers and zap away if they violate the sacrosanct debate timing protocols.

  7. Texan_Bulldog

    Tweety and Sully damn near had aneurysms. I take comfort in knowing that John Kerry won his first debate and he was a great president…wait, what?

    1. eggsacklywright

      Tweety is sometimes all over the map, but I think he was spot on in his rant. O is a self-admitted blue dog, not a progressive fighter.

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        I've been saying this for 5 years, but no… NOBAMMERZZZ is the MOST SOSHALIST COMMNIST EVAR1!!!1!1!!!

  8. FakaktaSouth

    I never want to hear the word "burden" again, and talking policy at a debate is for suckers, apparently. Of course, we were screaming Come on, Cut a bitch! the whole time, so probably we are also the problem. Us, and the whole idea that an Undecided Voter actually exists.

    Bring on the Biden, I wanna see if Pauley has the balls to wink at him.

    1. prommie

      Man it was just sad and I don't like being sad around you ya know? I am sorry for the angst and all.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Hey it's not our fault if we were hoping for PresO to dumb it down enough for everyone to understand and that he really is pretty smart so that is hard for him. Now that he's done it with Roms once, it'll get better and better every time. I do believe this.

        1. Nothingisamiss

          I want to believe this. REALLY.

          LIke you, I couldn't fucking WAIT for the debate. Now I find out that I'm a typical horrible lib that screams/cries/feels despair when the least little thing happens. (like Bamz fucking up a debate). I am trying to read through my Wonkettes this morning to feel better, and I was hoping you had some righteous anger/optimism to share.

          Hearing the 'tards going crazy over this is not helping my mood.

    2. OneYieldRegular

      Poor Joe Biden. I mean, it's bad enough for Obama having to spend 4 1/2 hours sharing a stage with Governor Hairdoo, but Biden will have had to endure both Paul Ryan and Sarah Palin.

      1. FNMA

        That reminds me. Note to self: Pick up a fifth of bourbon at lunchtime. Try to make it last until quitting time.

  9. Toomush_Infer

    Hey, the fix was on before the damn thing started – Steve Schmidt had his dirty little laundry list of how Barry was coming unglued and might as well give up now, down to a tt….anyway, not what I saw. I think folks were looking for some awesome, and disappointed at average – anyway, I kept seeing the whites of Mitt's eyes – some scary….

    1. kittensdontlie

      He was doing some maniacal blinking…like he had a double-triple expresso pre-debate to get the lies flowing.

    2. 1stNewtontheMoon

      don't forget that the media has a vested interest in Barry not curbstopping his hairgelled melon until the latest possible moment. (also, if the dems plan was to make me nervous enough to fork over some more cash, mission accomplished.)

  10. hagajim

    I had a sad that Barry didn't call out Mittens on his bullsh!t. But neither did Lehrer who was about as in control as Baron Von Frankenstein. I figureBarry wasn't good, but he didn't really need to be either.

  11. prommie

    I feel like I'm fixing to die is all I knows. Fucking there I was back in law school getting schoold by a fucking law professor again. Dude has to cut that shit out and just cut a bitch.

      1. prommie

        Its not that I want him to "put a cap in his ass" in a stereotypical way, Chet, its that I want him to say, for example "Mitt, you don't seem to understand that while its easy for you with your hundreds of millions of dollars in the Cayman Islands, to just shop around for the health insurance you like best, its not quite the same situation for the average person, who can't afford ANY policy let alone the gold plated one you can buy."

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          I get it, I'm just oversensitive on the issue. Between people calling him the Angry Black Man when it's ridiculous and demanding he be the Angry Black Man when he's not, it is maddening.

          1. prommie

            I could see more than anything last night why he can't just say the short simple direct statements that need to be said in defense of his policies. For example, Obamacare. He can't defend it, because its pretty much an indefensible clusterfuck. Medicare for all, on the other hand, that would be pretty simple to defend, wouldn't it? Except the medical insurance industry would be against that. And Goldman Sachs would be against pretty much everything else I wish he would say, so I could actually see it. He's handcuffed by the fact that his owners won't let him ever say the shit I wish someone would say.

          2. Chet Kincaid_

            I disagree, he can defend Obamacare and HAS defended Obamacare very effectively. People like a whole lot of that indefensible clusterfuck. Have we all forgotten how well Obama and the Democrats defended and promoted his record and agenda at the Convention?

            I don't feel like re-arguing "he's a phony Democrat / Wall Street 'owns' him" right now. (Why does "ownership" come so easily to mind?) He is a Blue Dog to the extent that he has no majority in Congress. Don't vote for him, don't give him money, suppress everyone else, if you think he is that much of a fake and our future is so indifferent with him or Hairgel.

            He fucked up in this debate, and he's going to have to perform better next time. That's the extent of it.

          3. 1stNewtontheMoon

            I agree. The best the repubs could hope for was Obama to attack the bullshit right now. Rmoney knew he could go out there and say pure fucking bullshit and not suffer immediate consequences. Something about wrestling a pig–you get dirty and the pig likes it…or letting an inferior opponent dictate how the game will be played (sorry for the sports analogy).

            The repubs are fucked and if Obama can stay above it, remind everyone of the great job he's done so far, considering the circumstances and the refusal of any republican to acknowledge him or his authority, then he'll cruise and we'll all be happy drunks on election night. Also, it wouldn't hurt to remind people that unless you are two of three (rich, white, and male) then the republican party couldn't give a shit about you and instead will go out of its way to fuck you (not in the good way).

          4. Nothingisamiss

            See, now that's just it… I don't think the big O DID remind anyone of the great job he's done so far…and I think he confirmed some of the stupidest fucking nonsense, i.e. "He needs a teleprompter." I'm a mite sensitive because I live in the deep red south, but I think that the fact Mittens came out swinging and Bamz looked tired, stuttered, and let Mittster run the table made a big difference.

            I am hoping I'm wrong. I'm a worrier. I keep reminding myself that I thought Kerry SCHOOLED Bush, and that we'd totally nailed the election after that.

          5. tessiee

            "our future is so indifferent with him or Hairgel."

            1) I, personally, have no desire for the President to be a stereotype of anything. If anybody in this race is a stereotype, it's Romney.
            2) That having been said, I have very little patience with people who think/say, "There's no difference between them", or more likely here, "they're all bought and paid for corporate puppets". However much there *might* be a grain of truth to that, anybody who can say it after having lived through the years 2000-2008 is either delusional or willfully evil.

          6. FakaktaSouth

            I suppose it is better than the man not be the raving lunatic I am – I did want him to tell MR to shut his fucking mouth and stop lying, and I know he couldn't, but just ONCE if he had said, HEY, you reckon Ann qualifies for any kind of healthcare with that MS of hers without your money there, dickhead? And do you give a fuck about the people who suffer because they DON'T have your bank? And that is why I am not allowed to go outside much.

          7. prommie

            I like taking you out. I love all that what you do that you call lunatical raving. Its just sanity and sense to me. I am sick of people making me feel like the lunatic for feeling the same way as you, exactly the same way, down to the anger and sadness the same way.

          8. FakaktaSouth

            Aw, I like you. Also, I am sick of being angry and sad over people fucking things up in this country for so many people in such terrible ways and calling it "common sense" when really it is selfish power-mad evil on the backs of those who sometimes don't even know it is being done. Just, terrible. It just ain't gotta be this fucking hard.

          9. prommie

            Why is it that it seems only some people can see what justice really is and have the deep need for it to be, why does injustice tear at me so bad even when its not happening to me? It'd be pretty fucking sweet not to give an actual shit, I bet. Are the oblivious or the selfish or the ignorant really the lucky ones, is it a curse to fucking care? I'm fucking tired of fucking caring for the fucking idiots who are getting screwed and who perpetuate their own fucking by voting for them whats fucking them. Its fucking not fun. Not even when I say my feelings in funny amusing snarky wonkette ways, its not fun. Its not fucking fun watching this fucking country swirl down the toilet because of hate and selfishness and greed. It is better to know I'm not alone though, for sure for sure.

          10. FakaktaSouth

            Jeepers. I do think being aware is still better and having a place to be a smart ass about it rules.

            I've said it before, I'll say it again – Lapdance.

          11. prommie

            Still you know Candide's neighbor lady was the only happy person in that book. I have half a mind to hit myself in the head with a hammer until I am stupid. Or find some way to induce temporary stupidity. I have heard the kids talk about getting stupid. Dulce et Decorum Est Desipere in Loco

          12. FakaktaSouth

            Good lord I say lapdance and now you've got me googling novellas by Voltaire? You're gonna have to share that hammer.

          13. tessiee

            "It just ain't gotta be this fucking hard."

            "Why do things have to be this way — WHEN THEY DON'T??!!"
            Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint

          14. anniegetyerfun

            Yes, this. Romney has the fucking gall to (1) call his adult kids a bunch of liars and (2) compare the sitting President to one of his sons. That takes some goddamn chootzpaw. I didn't need Barry to jump across the stage and slap him with a white glove, but the verbal equivalent, somewhere along the line, would be nice.

          15. finallyhappy

            He's black- isn't that enough? And remember, I live a few miles down the street from him- why won't he and Michelle visit my neighborhood diner??? J

      2. FakaktaSouth

        Why would that only be for black people? I thought bitch was more sexismist. I say that about everyone every time I wish they would get their asses kicked, I really do.

        1. PuckStopsHere

          Would it have killed him during the discussion about education to have reminded Mittens that his education plan is for kids to ask their parents for tuition monies? Hengggh?

          1. weejee

            He did, but only through vague reference to himself and the FLOTUS. He needed to be moar like Milton Berle and put the joke in the audience's lap. Show that pie, look at Mittens, taste that pie, look at Mittens, wink to the camera, and then throw the pie right in Willard's face.

          2. FakaktaSouth

            Spoken like a dad with a kid in college – at least yours is scholarship worthy – dontcha just wish you could get away with JUST 20K?

          3. PuckStopsHere

            Or maybe President Obama could have said "Let Detroit go bankrupt," or, "let the foreclosures run their course", or any one of literally a hundred other things that have come out of that idiot's mouth. He wouldn't have come off as mean. Hell, he coulda smiled while he was saying it.

          4. FakaktaSouth

            You are right, I am surprised the car thing didn't come up, as much as it was a centralized theme of the DNC, Killed Osama, Saved the Auto Industry. Did I miss that last night? Maybe he'll do that next?

          5. prommie

            Lawyers will fight hard over the issue of who gets to speak last, this is occurring to me, and lisawines up there did point out what we have seen before, Obama is a long game player. I am getting all hopey again about this unicorn, he's just waiting till the last debate to slay the Mitt-Dragon! (Thanks to my editor for fixing my grammar stuff!)

          6. Isyaignert

            So true. Rmoney was allowed to leave everyone with a platterfull of lies with no chance for a rebuttal.

      3. Redgyal

        Thanks for saying that. Just guessing here but that might be why he is losing support. He didn't perform the minstrel show as expected.

    1. weejee

      And perhaps not piddling away his precious rebuttal minutes pointing out issues where he & Rmoney are not that far apart, like his way too long bit on community college – private biz partnering where he got Willard to admit agreement.

    2. La_Cieca

      I choose to think that Obama is playing a long game. You have to stop and think how the proposed bitch-cutting process would have played out. Calling a man out for lying is an effective tactic if the man has a sense of shame. Romney clearly does not: he really seems to think that you can say anything, no matter how far-fetched or internally contradictory, if it promises to win you a few extra votes.

      So, would you really want last night to turn into this conversation, over and over again?

      "You're a liar."
      "No, I'm not."
      "Yes you are. You're just a liar, admit it."
      "I will admit no such thing because I'm not a liar."
      "See, you're lying again!"
      "No I'm not!"
      "Yes you are!"

      And the thing is, this would have gone on for a good five or six minutes while the PAs desperately poked Jim Lehrer with sharp sticks to try to wake him up.

      What Romney lied about, Obama's surrogates are out there today contradicting, and the video editors are already stringing together "first he said this, then he said that" spots using Romney's latest set of lies from last night.

      It is a fact of life that the challenger in this kind of debate has an advantage in that he gets to be cocky and confrontational. Presidents don't get to act that way, because being a President is a lot more serious job than being a candidate.

      So, no, Presidents don't cut a bitch. They act like adults.

      1. Chet Kincaid_

        He doesn't have to be a Spock Genius playing a long game. He's human, he fucked up, he wasn't prepared with his A game. He has a team of professionals who helped elect him once, I can't believe they won't correct this.

        1. prommie

          Mitt's consistent clownishness may well have created a real overconfidence thing too; my looove of college football has learned me about how overconfidence can lead to incredible, miraculous upsets. BUT IN THE REMATCH, THE TEAM THAT WAS UPSET ALWAYS WINS. Thats a very fucking real thing.

        2. DemmeFatale

          I think you're right.
          Everyone needs to calm the fuck down.
          Most people are just waking up, and are not as obsessive as we are.
          On my first campaign, some of us were panicking about something, and this other worker, who had worked for JFK, told us to mellow out.
          I guess I'm that worker now.

        1. predilectrix

          Me too. I expect Barry to break out in some James Brown, though.

          Oh, what the Barry-do would do for Gingrich or Santorum!

  12. TavariousChinaSmith

    If winning a debate means boring the audience to death with numbers, then it was a draw. No seriously, the entire campaign so far has been about emotional issues and grand sweeping rhetoric, and suddenly we get a debate about the most wonky policy details that have never before been explained let alone introduced by either candidate and we're supposed to care? All I know is that Mittbot killed both Big Bird and the moderator in one sentence.

  13. ednamillion22

    What the shit happened to spin? I think it's a fairly stupid tradition, but aren't our guys supposed to have been trying to convince people that our guy won? instead of all the damn crybaby boohooing?

    I want more Sad Republican narrative, and I want it now.

  14. fredbell

    Mitt Romney said it right in front of us all…He is not going to cut taxes for the rich, his health-care plan will cover pre-existing conditions, and he is going to break up the big banks…These are all good things he is going to do…Why is everybody so upset?…

  15. Allmighty_Manos

    Victory in the first debate against an incumbent president is key to victory sez Presidents Mondale and Kerry.

      1. Allmighty_Manos

        Of course both of those guys were ahead in the polls going into the debate. Unless you claim Eastern Europe is free of Soviet domination, debates don't matter that much.

  16. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Rmoney has such a low bar set for him that whenever he doesn't insult 47% of the country it is considered a win.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      Guy really knows how to mistreat animals. I wanna see Romney say again that he'll kill Big Bird, but this time say it in front of a room full of diehard, four-year-old Sesame Street fans.

  17. randcoolcatdaddy

    All the sheeple around the water cooler are talking about this morning is Big Bird.

    "My daughter learned a lot from 'Sesame Street'…"

    To hell with discussion about dismantling Social Security and Medicare. Let's talk about puppets!

    1. ednamillion22

      Sounds okay to me — maybe for some of those 'low-info voters', a big yellow puppet can serve as a concrete illustration of the danger of wanton spending cuts. I'll take it.

    2. DCBloom

      Yep, all us wonky types are picking apart details. All most people will remember is that Mitt killed Big Bird.

        1. finallyhappy

          I am having that made into a T-shirt- even though I am not all into the Bin Laden thing-fine. he's dead but Big Bird- OH, noooo

  18. BaldarTFlagass

    Whatever. My takeaway is I got tore up from the floor up last night, and am suffering absolutely no ill effects this morning. Hooray!

    1. Nothingisamiss

      You apparently don't have an overimagination that tends toward despair. I am already picturing the stories about how Obama was ahead, everyone thought he'd win it and then this debate came and it started a down hill slide for the dems.

      "Hey wasn't that in 2012?"

      "Yeah, it had never happened before. Everyone was surprised."

  19. mmeetoilenoir

    People constantly forget that Obama plays a long game. Our society is so used to instant gratification that there's no room for subtlety anymore. Instead, people look at Mittens on a meth bender, and they see leadership potential. I mean, this is a guy who's got his pre-debate juices flowing from a rolicking game of Jenga, fer Crissakes. This man is irredeemable.

    1. PugglesRule

      I didn't know about the Jenga. I just assumed he got stoked on some non-LDS kosher Red Bull or somesuch. I just hope Obama is actually playing chess and rope-a-dope.

      1. Isyaignert

        I was just listening to Ed Schultz's radio program and he said when he first met then-Senator Obama in his office, there was a large picture of Muhammad Ali smacking down Sonny Liston by his desk. Float like a butterfly; sting like a bee.

  20. LibertyLover

    I was busy with life last night and so I didn't watch in real time. What I saw was Obama doing what he did with Hillary and be overly polite and try to stay to the rules while Romney ran all over them… only insisting on the rules when he wasn't breaking them.

    Obama had some good points, and Romney lied out his butt. Just like his sons apparently do. He also doesn't know the difference between the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      "and be overly polite and try to stay to the rules while Romney ran all over them… only insisting on the rules when he wasn't breaking them."

      I agree. I royally pissed me off.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      Obama did the same thing with McCain, if I recall from post-debate coverage.

      "Senator McCain is absolutely right." Like, over and over again. I think Jon Stewart just about had a stroke.

  21. MistaEko

    If you think JFK beat Nixon because he didn't sweat, then you probably think Romney will beat Obama because he didn't look down.

  22. Pragmatist2

    I'm thinking that next time we crowdsource this thing. Obama and Romney stay home. Jim Lehrer reads a question and each supporter put in their answer and some algorithm picks the best answer. Way better than last night. But the TPers will have a fit because "algorithm" is clearly under the control of Al Gore.

  23. decentcitizen

    I think I can sympathize with O's campaign – The one thing they weren't prepared for was for Romney to run away from the positions he's been campaigning on for eight years. But they should have been. Those positions when poll-tested were losers. So Romney did what he's good at – changed his positions.

  24. Arken

    Come on people, it was his 20th anniversary and he was going home with Michelle. Can you really blame him for not having his head in the game when she's finally going to let him put it there?

  25. Doktor Zoom

    Heh… on the NPR Fact-checking segment this morning, a nice point: If all the candidates now praising Simpson-Bowles while campaigning had actually voted for it, it would be law.

    1. JerkCade

      You'd think they'd hold the very serious chatter on "fixing entitlements" until after the election.

      Maybe they want to be able to say "hey, we warned you."

  26. Terry

    I was frustrated that Obama didn't respond to a few things Romney said, including but not limited to:

    - Romney's repeated claim that investing in green energy and green jobs was some kind of boondoggle that sent money to Obama's contributors.

    - Romney admitted to sending jobs to China. He said that he'd been in business a long time and never got a tax break for shipping jobs overseas, maybe he should have had better accountants. OMG, the next question Obama or Lehrer should have asked was "Governor, are you saying that on multiple occasions you played a role in sending operations and jobs from the US to nations such as China?"

    - Romney's disappearing tax cut. OMG, the man has been bragging about tax cuts for years, but last night he used slight of hand to say that they aren't really cuts. Reduce the tax rate but close the loopholes. Ask him WHICH loopholes.

    1. LibertyLover

      And Romney also qualified his campaign attack against Obama as well on the issue of China… I believe that Romney said he would "get tough with China <bold> where it makes sense </bold>" — translated means he's not going to do anything different at all to get tough on China.

      1. Terry

        When I heard that, I figured that Mitt's contributors and business partners had had a wee chat with him.

      1. tessiee

        Me too, so I Peanuts-ified his comment, and now it's:

        Womp womp womp wa wa wa womp womp wadda womp womp waaa…

  27. kyeshinka

    Romney's advantage will matter to the 100 or so undecided voters, providing they discover how to get their cars to go uphill before Election Day.

  28. FNMA

    I missed the show last night so I'm a little confused. Romney fucked Big Bird? Is that legal in Colorado?

    1. BoroPrimorac

      He fucked Big Bird and gave Jim Lehrer a pink slip, because killing PBS is how we're going to fix the deficit problem.

    2. tessiee

      No, Romney did not fuck Big Bird.
      He fucked Ann.
      It's an understandable confusion, because both are tall and blonde, and also, Ann has a big bird on her sweater — but the actual Big Bird can do better than Mitt.

  29. ThundercatHo

    I hosted one of those things last night. It was lame since nobody knew each other and there was very little drinking (I tried, we have a bar for shit sakes). I was forced to remain sober as the hostess whose dogs were not cool with a bunch of strangers in the house. Then, I let the adorable Obama intern talk me into being the team leader here in Podunksville. Being the responsible adult is no fucking fun.

      1. ThundercatHo

        The Obama girl who has the thankless job of drumming up the vote here in Cornholeistan managed to find some other democrats brave enough to come out. Some nice teachers, a town councilman who brought a couple of bikers from England and some beer. The few friends we have here don't know they are really libtards and are not interested in politics.

    1. FNMA

      "Responsible adult"? See, that's what happens when you don't drink. Hope you learned something from this.

  30. freakishlywrong

    Miffed is awful. To accuse Barry of not being entitled to his own facts and then to say he has five boys and he knows lying when he sees it, was beyond fucked. "I'm not your goddamn Boy" would have worked nicely there.

    1. reliefsinn

      Yup, that was one disgusting moment. Well, maybe Barry can throw it back at Mutt in the next debate, somehow.
      And what is this shit about the private plane, and the house? Jeebus, another sop to the racist right wing.
      I hate that guy.

  31. Mumbletypeg

    Lots of good perspectives shared over the course of the evening >> wee hours >> a.m.
    I agree with Liberty Lover, above, that it could serve as fair enough means to a better end that Mitt's unabashed breaking of the boundaries while Obama played it more measured and even, yielded a contrast letting Rmoney's incompetence speak for itself.
    The *fight* I wished to see was on behalf of what I barely know personally, the plight of any number of my neighbors and yonder citizens reaching desperation. From my vantage point, I can wax analytical and dole out mitigating factorisms, b/c my point is from under a roof, in a space with food and drink at hand, and a shaggy mutt for companionship…
    … and too many folks can't even have one or three of those. I havent' reached that point of pain — but I understand when people crave the basest of What Anyone Deserves, they *expect* a Fight of the leaders who promise something. Who promise change.
    So the disappointment I want to mitigate one moment, I realize is imperative to recognize for what it implies to others running out of options. /soapbox

  32. Will_Panic

    This far into the 21st century, and we still can't have the candidates bare-knuckle box?

    NEEDZ MOAR THUNDERDOME

  33. iTuna

    I wish he'd show the same sort of indignant righteous professorial anger that, say, Liz Warren is so great at.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      I'm no fair weather fan. I'm an anxious dem who lives in a red state and has experience with despair. It may seem fucking impossible for us, but I actually KNOW persuadable voters. I think we're all bitching and moaning because this is so fucking important, and it's not at all "in the bag."

      1. DemmeFatale

        I have long been dismayed that many voters have been thinking things were "in the bag" for Obama. Now, they're a little shaken up, will donate and, more importantly, will vote up and down the ticket. Being anxious may not feel good now, but I think it will help Obama and others win. He's got this. (Chet is a great voice of reason on this.)

        (BTW beautiful dog.)

  34. grex1949

    OK, let me get this straight. Mitt says he's going to lower everyone's tax rate by 20%. This, of course, would immediately put a $5 trillion dollar dent in the country's revenue. But wait! At the same time, Mitt's going to do away with a few deductions and maybe tax credits (that he says mostly rich people use to lower their taxes) without resulting in a tax increase for the "middle-class" (which, to Mitt, consists of people with annual incomes of "$200,000 to $250,000 and less"). Doing away with these (unspecified) deductions, he says, will make up the $5 trillion additional deficit he just created with the 20% tax cut. So, am I to understand that the net effect of Mitt's tax "plan" is that everyone's tax rate goes down, but everyone's tax bill stays the same? Brilliant! But, WTF is the point of that exercise, and why didn't Barry confront him on it?

    1. Will_Panic

      I think this is called "smoke-and-mirrors," but I'm sure we'll get more detail after the election.

    2. BlueStateLibel

      Excellent point, I wondered about that myself. What's the use of a tax rate cut if he eliminates the home mortgage deduction, for instance?

    3. BoroPrimorac

      Reminding the audience that Romney is going to pay for his tax cuts by defunding PBS, would've scored the president a few points. Thankfully, that line about Big Bird was so bizarre that people will remember it when Obama brings it up in the next debate

    4. La_Cieca

      WTF is the point of that exercise, and why didn't Barry confront him on it?

      I honestly think that Obama was saying to himself "what's the fucking point?" Romney's tax dodge is so obviously idiotic and unworkable that it's like trying to pin down an opponent on whether the people on Mars have two heads or three.

      The other issue here is that for 18 months Romney has resolutely refused to offer any specific answers on any matter of policy. He just changes the subject or says "trust me." People have seen this a thousand times by now, and either it turns them off or else it doesn't bother them. So seeing it one more time I don't think is going to change anyone's mind.

      And that, after all, is the purpose of these debates: to change the minds of a few last-minute fence-sitters. I agree that for those of us on the left it would be fun and exhilarating to watch Obama trash-talk Romney, but this is an election, not a WWE bout.

      The fact is, the Romney fans are all chortling and cavorting this morning: their boy put on a great show for them last night and they were vastly entertained. But over the next few days we are going to see that what transpired last night didn't win Romney (or lose Obama) any significant votes.

  35. Biel_ze_Bubba

    New GOP strategy: Mitt just spews blatant lies, and it's assumed the voters are too dumb to notice.

  36. magic_titty

    I missed the debate as I had a soccer game (one goal, one assist, thank you thank you), but my g/f, who is a genius, was texting me throughout and they went something like this:

    "Romney is quite aggressive."
    "Obama is kinda getting whipped."
    "Obama is too rational, and stuck defending his term."
    "He is smarter and more thorough, but Romney is just interrupting and he just sounds like he is winning, and Lehrer is ass."
    "Obama is too fucking civil."
    "Romney left himself WIDE open several times and Obama won't take the opportunity AT ALL."
    "Chris Matthews is livid. Livid."
    "Dem spin: 'Obama had dignified reserve' lol"

    That pretty much sums it up, no?

  37. teebob2000

    That was fucking pathetic. Don't even know where to start.

    Oh yeah, I do — how about when talking about healthcare and how Rmoney suddenly wants to give EVERYONE healthcare, mentioning his interview where he JUST said people can go to the E/R for their healthcare?

    Oh, wait — how about when Rmoney talks about his empathy for people having economic troubles, he's said he's already written them off as his "47%" of public moochers?

    Let me count the ways…

    1. teebob2000

      Or when talking about Medicare, his running mate's signature budgetary issue is privatizing it so why would he have picked him if not to follow that plan??

      Or when talking about how much he got done in MA as governor, how far LEFT he governed and how he wouldn't have survived past 2 fucking primaries in the GOP had he had the same centrist governing philosophy??

      1. teebob2000

        Or David Plouffe in after-debate spin on why Obama didn't mention the 47% video: because 100% of the country already knows about it. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? Fucking political malpractice. Goddammit this makes me mad.

    2. teebob2000

      And fucking Obama on social security: we have the same plan. FUCK YOU, you have the same plan. How about: pointing and saying, "that fucker wants to privatize it!!" Jesus.

  38. Weenus299

    I'm a total moron because I thought Barry O did just fine. Because of exactly what Editrix pointed out. Obama's not a fighter, never was. He looked more like he was studying in a library while Slick-haired Mitty kept hollering at him about cutting his hair.

    1. weejee

      No shit. Jimbo lost control of the game on the first question and never got it back. Give him a cushion for his back, put him in a rocker, and set him on a porch somewhere in the Piney Woods.

    2. teebob2000

      Don't insult the replacement refs like that. At least they didn't get cuckolded by bullying coaches.

  39. Weenus299

    The nationwide audience before debate night: We want substance! We want substance! Barry O gives them some substance, albeit not that much, but much more than Mittens.
    The nationwide audience after debate night: Look at Mitten's style! Look at his style! He's so stylish! Fucking candy bread and circuses! RAAAWR!

  40. Redgyal

    Well I can tell you that the news of Chris Matthews saying Barry lost is making the zombies in my office happy. I think they are having party to celebrate Romney's election already. I for one think that Matthews is trying to over compensate for the thrill up his leg from years back.

    1. finallyhappy

      My brother in law is like that but I am planning a nice Obama re-elected gift for him for thanksgiving. Living here in DC- we will have a fine selection on the trucks as well as the 4(or 5 gift shops) on 10th street(all made in China I guess)

  41. magic_titty

    Also, has Mittens' hair gone whiter in the last couple of weeks? Did Ann forget to pack his Touch of Gray for the road?

    1. Serfville

      Mittens hair and demeanor looked like he stuck his finger in a socket & he looked "bronzed". Tanning bed Mom. I think Prez was pulling some kind of Jedi underplayed mind trick or something. I dunno wha happened?

  42. anniegetyerfun

    I remember the debates between Bush and Gore in which Bush was deemed the winner "just for showing up" because he had threatened, early on, not to partake in the debates. Because he was so phenomenally stupid. Actual reporters on NPR creamed themselves with delight when he showed up and frat-boy smirked through the first debate.

    "He really showed himself to be a fighter!" they said as Bush bitched about "fuzzy math".

  43. Millennial Malaise

    It was finally made clear to me last night, that this glorious echo chamber has inoculated me from being impressed by anything Rmoney has got to say. My roommate, who watched it elsewhere, was adamant that Mittens won the debate because he was more aggressive. Aggressive liar, maybe? From my perspective, the first 20 minutes consisted of a very boring back and forth of Mitt saying Obama was characterizing his tax 'plan' incorrectly. That's it! People want Obama to get mean? Sure, so McWhitey RealAmurica can freak out? Ugh. I hate everyone, including the pussies on MSNBC.

  44. Chet Kincaid_

    This would be a good time for Maureen Dowd to write a column about how she's not going home with either of them, even though Mittens brought the bigger penis.

  45. SpiderCrab

    Barry likes businessmen, and is loath to say mean things about them, and even when he does say mean things he always makes it clear that he was just kidding. Obama will never beat Romney in a debate, because Barry's commitment is not to the poor, to the middle class, to fairness, but rather to civility and to his own acceptance by his opponents. He is a lousy champion for liberal positions.

  46. ttommyunger

    " …whine and moan and caterwaul your imminent death some more. Isn’t that what Dems do best?" No, my dear Editrix; snatching defeat from the jaws of victory is what Dems do best. I'm thinking Barry and Mittens will make this impossible for even the Dems this time around (Barry's calm demeanor and incisive intellect-Mitten's frazzled desperation and lack of substance).

  47. DahBoner

    Bad decision genes

    Does stuffing mass quantities of Fastfood in my mouth make Mitt Romney look stupid???

  48. keinsignal

    OK so I don't know if anybody's brought this up, but the debate was in Denver, right? Mile-high city, thin air and all? One thing that struck me as significant is when I heard that Romney arrived in Denver about a week ago to start his debate prep. So Romney had plenty of time to calibrate his sensor arrays and pneumatic pistons to the altitude, whereas Obama, having a day job and all, just showed up on the day of the debate itself. I'm withholding all judgement until we see these two square off at sea level.

  49. actor212

    Obama did what he had to do. He knew the economy would be his weakest topic to debate on, so he simply didn't, plus he prevented Romney from scoring any soundbites that really mattered.

    Call it a draw against an over-trained robot.

  50. BoroPrimorac

    I just want the Barack Obama who took Boehner and Ryan to school at that healthcare pow-wow they had a few years ago. He was assertive, in command of policy and didn't allow the republicans to filibuster him with nonsense talking points.

    1. fuflans

      mr fuflans and i were JUST talking about that health care roundtable. bams OWNED it and it has NEVER EVER been discussed as part of his legacy.

      it was an extraordinary act by an extraordinary president.

  51. rocktonsam

    I not sure how anybody could say Mittenz won. He spewed the no explaination tripe he has been spewing for years. FIVE POINT PLAN with no points. I guess he showed The President whats what. Jerk

  52. rickmaci

    The Massachusetts Mitt showed up last night and the Morning TeaTard Walk Back for maybe 3/4 of the shit he said will be in full swing by noon. MY sense is that much of what the Twitt said will end up further eroding his credibility as they have to defend his prior positions against most of what he said last night. But I could be wrong.

    1. Fox n Fiends

      I agree – Romney was a Socialist Cheese-Eater last night. I bet he lost more votes from Conservatives than he won from Moderates.

  53. RaflcaFlkaFlame

    I just find it weird that some people were more upset that President Obama didn't call out his lies (wait, he did) than the fact that Mitt lied through the whole debate.

    Anyway, new day and I'm still not upset. 1 month and 2 days, and it's all over! We can do it.

  54. SayItWithWookies

    I was a little disappointed that the conversation got so absorbed in the numbers, which distracted from the idea that Mitt doesn't have a plan to cut the budget or deal with taxes — he has half a plan, which is "we get all these cookies" but it says nothing about the calories. But just because President Obama didn't hit Mitt as hard as he could have doesn't mean Mitt won — he was more intractable than persuasive, and the challenger had to win points, not just frustrate his opponent.

    Also, Mitt's just obnoxious — I'm used to him going somewhere and insulting the host by now, but telling the host he'll be fired is a new low.

  55. ednamillion22

    Remember those warm, hazy days when we were bathed in the golden light of optimism, wrapped up in the powder-blue Snuggie of a sure-thing Obama win, all cuddly and secure and smug and HAPPY?

    Well, buck up, kiddies. That was less than 24 hours ago, and there was good reason for all of that warmth and smugness. We can get back there.

  56. 415buzzard

    Not worried. I strongly trust that Barry's team knows what they are doing. I noticed how he didn't go for all the obvious attacks (47%, Cayman Islands, Bain) that Romney probably had rehearsed lots of snappy answers to. So instead of Mittens getting a chance to explain away his serious problems, we had all the pundits bringing them up again after the debate was over. I heard a universal chorus of "What, no mention of the 47%?". Keeps the fuck-up alive. And Mitt came off like a douchey coke-head, so there's that……

  57. Fox n Fiends

    "get ready to whine and moan and caterwaul your imminent death some more. Isn’t that what Dems do best?"

    A+

  58. Serfville

    Enjoy while it lasts Mittey! Your base hates your guts, & will throw you in the gutter on Nov. 7. I think Prez was playing some Jedi underplayed mindtrick. He'll come back in full laser mode next debate, as shown in gif last night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-L6rEm0rnY
    "Touch me
    It's so easy to leave me
    All alone with my memory
    Of my days in the sun"

  59. owhatever

    I love the Mitt argument that if a program required borrowing more money from China, it will get cut. Can we keep Big Bird with the billions in US bonds sold elsewhere?

  60. ImpureScience

    Last night Romney demonstrated the survival value of random behavior induced by mindless panic.

  61. BarackMyWorld

    I'm still grounded in reality enough to realize Mitt won the debate by throwing away everything the Republican Party has been pushing for the last 4 years. They'd rather take the victory than notice their agenda is being forgotten, which should tell you everything they need to know about the state of American politics.

    Dicks.

  62. Robman2

    Thanks Ms. R, thanks goodness someone WAS watching.

    I saw the same debate that you did. Over the next week or two, the rope Obama gave Rmoney, is enough to wrap him in, and weight down his his body to drop alongside alongside Osama Bin Laden when it's over.

  63. poorgradstudent

    The lamestream media is wrong as always. Obama won the debate, even if only because Romney magically and suddenly decided he agreed with Obama 90% of the time.

  64. oenspiek

    So, RMoney, looking like a meth-addled televangelist, can spew lies too densely to be counted, let alone responded to, — some of which lies pivot 180 degrees on the lies he'd been spewing up till just last night, — and somehow get pundit-hailed as the winner?!?!!

    I must have fallen somehow into Bizarro-world.

  65. Mittaplasia

    This is only based on my intensive chemical, er…ahem, RESEARCH over decades past, but the lip-smacking wild-eyed, jabbering Mr. Romney appeared to be under the influence of some type of "enthusiam" drug. Some of my fellow experts concur.

  66. Katydid

    I keep telling youse guys, but no one wants to listen to me. Bammerz is tired of us, not the other way around. He doesn't need this shit anymore, and I'm not entirely sure he really wants to win, and that's no snark.

    More than anything else, the man looks tired. Maybe sick and tired, but definitely tired. And who knows what the hell he's dealing with that he can't tell us? We did just have a terrorist attack in Libya….all Mittens had to worry about is whether he or Tagg or Brief or Boxers won the Jenga game last night.

  67. Troglodeity

    People are being way too nice to Obama on this message board today. As an ardent Obama supporter, that worries me.

    He SUCKED last night. Needs to chug a Red Bull next time. I'll bet Bill Clinton was home last night shouting comebacks at his TV.

  68. Schmegeg

    Man lies like a rug and pulls numbers out of his ass for 90 minutes. Romney 2012!!

    And Michelle totally kicked Cartman's ass last night.

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