Ultimate Lectern Fighting 2012: Liveblogging Mitt & Barack’s First Debate

by Jim Newell and Ken Layne

The President vs. the Twit.
Good evening, America! There is a slight chill in the air tonight, a vague hint that the roasting forever summer is finally slipping away, that not even the industrialist villains have managed to completely prevent autumn from its tardy arrival. The chill, of course, is the Earth’s response to the cold dead vacuum of Mitt Romney speaking to the nation, via the prime-time television broadcasts known as the First Presidential Debate of 2012. Your old and unfaithful friends Newell and Layne have been brought out of the gun locker for tonight’s festivities, and we are ready to share in this 90-minute national tragedy with all of you. Let us begin … even though the CNN feed isn’t working?

8:45 PM — Oh look, Mitt and his cult family are playing a child’s board game, to relax, the way “humans like to do it,” says Mitt:
You sank myyyy jangaship
8:49 PM — Black-eyed ghoul Jim Lehrer is threatening everyone in the audience. He is “being cool” by saying the popular Fonzie catch phrase from 35 years ago, “Sit On It.” Weezer must be loving this debate, so far.
8:56 PM — Jim Lehrer is cracking up the crowd by forgetting his name, and the introduction, and also why he was born with solid black eyeballs like one of those reptilian aliens from The X Files.
9:00 PM — And finally, after four years of pre-election activities known as “life in this country,” the two warriors emerge from their secret debate chambers, their cones of silence. Obama has a blue tie, many professional media people immediately notice, via Twitter. This means he has won the debate.
9:06 PM — Romney notes that it is very romantic for the Obamas to be spending their anniversary with Romney. Then he promises to “trickle down” on those annoying jobless Americans with the “baby in hand” who keep bothering him while he looks at the clouds.
9:14 PM — “I like coal.” Mitt Romney finally found something that will like him back.
9:16 PM– Blah blah the presidential candidates are saying some tax lies. They both say they will cut all taxes on “the middle class,” by which they mostly mean families making $150,000 a year. What loopholes will Mitt Romney cut to keep it Revenue-Neutral? I love America, Romney assures. Barack Obama is citing tax studies. “I’ve got five boys,” Mitt Romney says, adding that Obama lies all the time just like Mitt’s fucking brat kids used to do growing up. “You throw all these studies out there,” Mitt Romney insults the president.
9:18 PM — The website is basically broken for the rest of the night, but stick around!
9:21 PM — Jim Lehrer, who died seven years ago but came back just for this one great night for America, has lost control of the candidates. You guys are way out of time! Shut up Jim, we’re talking tax offsets!.
9:23 PM — It’s funny when Mitt makes himself laugh when he tries to say “paying more taxes.”
9:23 PM — Professor Obama is going to do some confusing magic math about 5 + 2, but in billions, so nobody in America understands this. “Math, common sense, and our history,” says the president. The first two don’t really go with the last thing.
9:30 PM — According to everyone on Twitter, this election is now over because dumbass Romney just went on national teevee and told millions of families that he will kill Big Bird.
9:34 PM — Romney is talking about Spain, where he owns thousands of castles. Soon, he will start speaking French.
9:36 PM — You can also go on the Twitter and read Newell & me complaining about the Wonkette publishing system being broken and slow, and also read Josh Fruhlinger do live sexting along with the Wonkette people @commiegirl1 and @jesseltaylor and @jesseberney … and after doing all of that, we may get another update saved and posted to the Internet.
9:33 PM — Why aren’t both of you embracing Simpson-Bowles, the Washington beltway debate moderator asks about deficit reduction plan that no one else in the country gives a shit about. Why aren’t you licking Alan Simpson’s lesion-caked bald head, Mitt Romney? Why around you sitting on Erskine Bowles’ face right now, Barack Obama?
9:39 PM — With the exception of “coal,” which he likes to pull out of the ground and sell, when Romney says he “likes” something, he will kill it.
9:40 PM — Did Romney just refer to America’s tens of millions of poor people as “your poor,” to Obama?
9:40 PM — Obama doesn’t get why Exxon Mobil gets tax breaks. (The answer is because they’re Exxon Mobil.) He also met a poor lady in Las Vegas, who does not get any tax breaks. An autistic kid, a hobo, a cooper, a barnsmith, a crackhead! President Obama meets a lot of fuck-ups on the trail.
9:42 PM — Mitt Romney says that he “likes clean energy,” don’t get him wrong, he just doesn’t see why there have to be investments into these gay sectors. Romney Zinger: You are a bad investor, Barack Obama. Oh ho ho! You can’t stock pick worth shit, “Mister President.”
9:44 PM — Mitt Romney notes that President Obama’s plan for Medicare is to eliminate all funding for it. Obama responds that Mitt Romney would like to turn Medicare into a clip ‘n’ save coupon program where the trick is that the coupons are eventually worth nothing. It would only affect “future people,” Romney clarifies. See? It wouldn’t hurt current old people at all, only everyone else who will ever live.
9:44 PM — Hahahah Romney: “If you’re 60 or older, you needn’t listen any further.” Go to sleep, old people! It’s safe to sleep now!
9:47 PM — Obama says he has become fond of the term “Obamacare.” The gasp/chortle out of Mittens’ mouth was priceless. How many painstakingly prepared “zingers” were just ruined by Obama’s embrace of the insult?
9:52 PM — Barack Obama is not doing enough to terrify the old people. “Listen, old unwealthy people,” he should say, “Romney will burn you like coal.”
9:52 PM — Mitt Romney: “Regulation is essential.” What is wrong with this communist queer? Are those queer pants you’re wearing? Oh, ok, phew, now he is adding the caveat that all regulation is destructive.
9:53 PM — May I continue? Romney asks Lehrer. “NO, YOU MAY NOT.”
9:57 PM — Tonight, we are all old people in America, falling asleep while the nice men in suits talk at us.
9:59 PM — “Expensive things hurt families.” This is why Mitt Romney wants to make sure American families can’t have any expensive things. They’ll only get hurt! This is how poor people are!
How to improve the debates.
10:05 PM — Twitter tells us that Romney is apparently winning. How do people tell this?
10:06 PM — We’re mostly listening rather than watching, and Obama sure doesn’t sound like he’s killing, but Romney has that evil death-rattle chuckle that is actually chilling, like one of those plastic Halloween gimmick candy pots with the skeleton hand that pops out and won’t let you go.
10:07 PM — Remember when Obama was running for president in 2008, and in 2007 during the debates, he had a reputation for rambling calmly about some policy anecdote for 10 minutes? Well, here he is debating for the first time this cycle! Oops! He just talked about reimbursement rates at the Cleveland clinic for 9 years, which is interesting, but… anyway, Mitt Romney says “private market,” in response, angrily.

10:22 PM — And finally, the Internet gives up and dies. But it returned just in time for Mitt to deliver a “zinger,” saying that black people aren’t entitled to their own “facts,” even if they’ve stolen a jet and a house from the American People.
10:22 PM — All of Jim Lehrer’s questions end with, “Is there any difference between you two on this?” And there always is a difference! (Well, not really. Right now they are bickering about minor tweaks to each other’s plans to screw teachers’ unions.)
10:27 PM — Romney says that the U.S. has “the best health records in the world.” It’s true! Our 173% of babies that die in childbirth and then get diabetes is a World Record.
10:28 PM — It is truly a patriotic miracle that the U.S.A. has achieved so many “health records” nvolving obesity and diabetes and hunger in a supposedly rich country. It is a virtual Winter Olympics that Mitt Romney bought one time, to show he cared.
10:30 PM — Obama finishes with a lie (“American cars are the best in the world”) but is otherwise humble and pretty convincing. Now it is Mitt’s turn to “thank you for tuning in,” because he probably owns all the television networks, and the air. Because of this, he will make 12 million jobs … watching teevee and breathing his air.
10:31 PM — Closing statements, thank god. Obama is so happy, he has this memorized! It’s his usual thing. Some anecdotes — lady in North Carolina going to college, guy in Minnesota looking for a job, kid in the ghetto looking for a sandwich, old man in Dallas retiring to start a Lego factory in outer space, robot toddler looking to buy a Taco Bell franchise, blah blah blah — they’re all struggling, but he will make them not struggle, vote for him.
10:33 PM — Thanks everybody, for joining us tonight! We apologize for the shitty tech problems … they seem to appear whenever there’s a big event and our shoddy little system gets overwhelmed. Anyway, thanks! We love you so much!
Romney Wis!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 2033 comments }

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Wha?

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Is this thing on? *taps on whiskey bottle*

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Time to go to the liquor cabinet and replenish inventory. *swivels chair*

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Thank god my office has booze.

slowhansolo October 3, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Alas, jumped the gun on the drinking. Forgive?

slithytoves October 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

ME too. Damn post on rape and cerebral palsy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

You didn't share. So, no.

Veritas78 October 3, 2012 at 8:51 pm

What decade is this?

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 8:52 pm

It doesn't bother me that Mitt Romney doesn't drink beer, because I wouldn't want to have one with him in the first place.

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I wouldn't even let him have some of my chardonnay in the fancy silver solo cup from whence I am drinking. If his head was on fire. GOBAMA! GOBAMA! or something.

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Hello, lovely lady. I hope you are wearing a flag pin with your tennis skirt. Always a pleasure to see you.

Veritas78 October 3, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Becca said you were both dead, and that we shouldn't ask any questions.

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I wonder if Romney will give his testimony.

Bramlet Abercrombie October 3, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Jim Lehrer was scaring me!

RawhideRawlins October 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

NO SMOKING!

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 8:59 pm

"What are you gonna do? Arrest me for smoking?" *crosses legs*

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:08 pm

You tart!

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm

As the present now
Will later be past

(Hi Ken.)

SaintNixon October 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Upfist upfist upfist.

Pres.Beeblebrox October 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Jim Lehrer sounded more robotic than Rmoney.

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Any thoughts on how Jim Lehrer is going to be? Will he be able to manage bullshit? I hope there is bullshit.

Veritas78 October 3, 2012 at 8:56 pm

While we're waiting, perhaps either of you could tell us if gingers do indeed have more-sensitive nipples, and if that had anything to do with Wonkette hiring practices.

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Wow, no one is at the podiums but Lehrer is babbling

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 8:57 pm

*smoke-filled entrance* Jesus, Mitt Romney's kid has his big Frankenstein head.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

yikes!

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Jenga: the only thing a Romney has ever built themselves.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Actually, they're disassembling a tower piece by piece. A model for Mitt's business career

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Like all good liberals, my wife and I are watching the debate on commie socialist PBS.

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Watch now before Mitt defunds it.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 10:34 pm

That was eerily prescient.

MilwaukeeKent October 3, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Yes indeed, Romney will slash that 15 trillion deficit (mostly Bush expenses carried forward) by what, 100 million? 37 million? Whatever PBS gets. Beginning to understand why The Romns responded to a (vintage teak) boat in distress on Jet-skis. Question, where do you tie Seamus on a Jet-ski?

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:18 pm

$26.65M for PBS support, but the CPB gets $445million in federal funding for FY2012: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporation_for_Publ

I've seen somewhere else that fed funding accounts for approx. 15% of the budget, but not sure if that's just PBS, or PBS + NPR and/or other CPB entities?

MilwaukeeKent October 4, 2012 at 12:35 am

It's just such pandering to the base, cuts to Planned Parenthood, PBS, NPR — as if Democrats directly targeted the sheep-dipping tax-writeoff in just Idaho and western Montana. It just says, to his base, I'll stick it to your particular boogiemen real good. To everyone else, it just screams I'm a mean and cheap asshole.

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:18 pm

$26.65M for PBS support, but the CPB gets $445million in federal funding for FY2012: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporation_for_Publ

I've seen somewhere else that fed funding accounts for approx. 15% of the budget, but not sure if that's just PBS, or PBS + NPR and/or other CPB entities?

DemmeFatale October 4, 2012 at 12:29 am

I think I hate the wing nuts most when they infiltrate my car radio by intimidating NPR with their psychopathic BS.
I hate hearing highly educated, sophisticated hosts doffing their caps, and toadying to teabaggy assholes to avoid being defunded.

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:25 am

Indeed.

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Here too, comrade.

cynwestover October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I love that you are watching on PBS!

Boojum October 3, 2012 at 11:18 pm

I watched on MSNBC. Because, I love Rachel Maddow. No, seriously, I want a sex change so I can be a lesbian and lie in bed next to her and whisper politics. Except for the part about chopping stuff off.

I'm a seriously fucked up human. Too much rum, I suppose.

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:26 am

Everybody's willing to have a sex change for Rachel.

OK, I am. I just don't want to know what it involves.

redarmyzombie October 4, 2012 at 1:57 am

Hey, we can still invoke Tier-1 Queer Solidarity, right?

…right?

Boojum October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I've asked Rebecca, but she won't tell me. Who are you guys?

PsycWench October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

The ghosts of Christmas past.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

The Fourth and Fifth Doctors.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I'm an nfp management consultant. Is this the webinar on family foundations?

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

A wretched hive of scum and villany. Pleased to meetcha.

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:06 am

Hope you guessed my name.

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 12:33 am

Oh, that wasn't what was confusing me at all.

bobbert October 4, 2012 at 3:27 am

What, was it the nature of her game?

lulzmonger October 3, 2012 at 11:07 pm

The folks your parents warned you about.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 11:20 pm

A Pervertebrate.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:40 pm

I thought you were a cephalopodperson.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Both!

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 12:34 am

Cephalopods don't have vertebrae, CRE.

Jim Newell October 3, 2012 at 11:21 pm

the liquidators

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 11:51 pm

What the fuck does that mean?

Chichikovovich October 4, 2012 at 9:28 am

I guess they're selling off the commenters for pennies on the dollar.

HistoriCat October 4, 2012 at 11:42 am

It means you're going to be kept on for six months to train your Chinese replacement in the fine art of Wonkette commenting.

SayItWithWookies October 4, 2012 at 12:02 am

Not sober, if that narrows it down any.

keepwalkin October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Has Romney shit hisself yet?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I hope we don't break the interwebs tonight.

satyricrash October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

HEHNG??

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Three ball games and C-Span.org. The twenty-first century is awesome, and stupid.

Crank_Tango October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

did you see that zee germans are marketing booze that has been poured over the tits of hot women and then bottled?

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

What?! I approve of this message.

Edit for linky SFW: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/eats/comapa

Crank_Tango October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

http://www.gspirits.com/

talk about awesome and stupid…but very easy to drink and masturbate to.

iTuna October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Watching this over my xbox and Google Hangoutting with my parents. Our dumb future is awesome.

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Just think, if you are Mitt, while you’re coming up with an answer to the question, you must also ask yourself: (1) will this piss off my base?; (2) in pandering to my base, will this alienate the rest of America?; (3) what does this contradict of what I’ve said before?; (4) if it’s supposed to be a statement of fact, is this a lie?; (5) if it’s supposed to be a statement of belief, does it just strain credulity?; (6) does it make me look like a rich, out-of-touch prick? Then—and only then—you may get on with your answer. If he not made this mess himself, I could almost find it in my heart to pity him. Nah.

IceCreamEmpress October 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

He built that.

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

but he built it in a quiet room where the trees are the right height.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

And he has friends who own these rooms.

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:21 pm

And that's all you people need to know.

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:08 am

You're giving him way too much credit if you think any of those thoughts once wandered through his big, empty, narcissistic head.
He has, as Louis C.K. once said, no decent sense of self-doubt.

memzilla October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Ken 'N Jim! Bring on the snark! BRIIIIIIIING IT!

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Goof Ghod, that photo looks like the Cylon Family Christmas.

It's giving me the Willies.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Fuckin' toasters, man.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Look who's talking!

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Awright. Who told you? Because, you know, I'ma have to keeel them.

CheeseBro69 October 3, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Asked my dad what he was drinking for the debate and he responded with this:
"I am drinking Jameson's for this debate. Mitt drives me to the hard stuff."

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I drink Jameson every day. ?

ChillBill October 3, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I think that Jim and Ken make a cute couple.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

I hope those Podia are the right height.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Is this the debate where they debate in a tub of mud?

Veritas78 October 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

50 million of us, but how many are not wearing pants?

Crank_Tango October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

all of um, katie.

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Define 'pants'.

Biff October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I, for one.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Geezus, who the fuck wears pants if they don't, you know, HAVE to?

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 11:38 pm

"Occupy Pants!"

..or something.

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:04 am

Yours, or mine? (leers at AlterNewt)

redarmyzombie October 4, 2012 at 1:19 am

Oh, I am SO watching this!

bobbert October 4, 2012 at 2:12 am

How MANY "pants"?

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Romney can't let a photo of himself studying get out. The GOP prides itself on complete ignorance

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

silence reigns. empty lecterns. Jim looks lonely

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Jim's eyes are like BULLET HOLES.

OzoneTom October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

That TelePrompTer is distracting.

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Just try to look straight when you're licking up that Mister Softee; you may be overenjoying, 'ya think?

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:10 am

Mitt looks like he's really enjoying that so-called "Iced cream".

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:10 am

I'm assuming that you're addressing your comment to Ann, and by "Mister Softee", you mean Mitt?

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Good man, your father

Crank_Tango October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Just like old times, which is good news for McCain.

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

"The arena features padded individual seating, two members-only club seating areas, a four-sided video scoreboard, and a concourse with glassed-in views of the adjoining Hamilton Gymnasium and El Pomar Natatorium. "

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

And the snack bar closes at 9:30pm EST.

Mumbletypeg October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I had this mashup in my head of Romney and Ryan tryin' to get hip singing "Combination Pizza Hut andTaco Bell" – with Mitt's quizzical expression à la Dubya wonderment at the grocery scanner, that such things exist — but the image just got replaced by a duo of a bearded' and a ginger~

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:07 pm

A bearded WHAT? Inquiring minds demand to know!

e_z October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

jumping the gun to predict, Romney's 'zingers' will fall as flat as Howard Sprague telling a joke in Mayberry's Barber shop…flinchingly bad.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

You could have gone haiku, if you really tried!

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Stop with the awesome imagery, I am trying to concentrate on zingers.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

It's starting! Whatever sitcom was just on NBC just ended, and now Brian Williams is talking like a douche, as usual. And I made it back from the bar just in time.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Kick em in the balls? Tweety's workin blueish.

Isyaignert October 4, 2012 at 3:24 am

Tweety should have combed his hair – did Rmoney give him a ride on top of the limo?

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm

David Brooks gives me a yeast infection.

Katydid October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

David Brooks gives my yeast infection a yeast infection.

Porter Melmoth October 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm

David Brooks IS a yeast infection. And a snaggletooth.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Jim Lehrer looks nervous… Is he packing?

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Magnum Arena?

Point – Mr. President!

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I'm watching a stark feed of Jim Lehrer reading the beginning lines of A New Hope up on the teluhprompterz. Two minutes, folks.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Leher seems like a perfect cure for insomnia.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Mitt: "When I'm President, the first thing I'm defunding is that goddamned Commission on Presidential Debates."

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Domestic issues = Mitt's going to talk about how hard it is to find good help.

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

IT'S ON, BITCHES!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Are there rules for a sudden death playoff?

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:21 pm

That's what the Death Panel are for!

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:21 pm

That's what the Death Panels are for!

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Is there a fire brigade standing by to extinguish Mitt's pants when they explode?

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Ugh. I am nauseated. What a lying piece of shit. I avoid watching Romney AT ALL, commercials, etc. This is too much smarm for me.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

At this point his pants have become like a flow of lava, the only large enough body of water, an ocean is required to quench it. Good thing the mittbot is made of asbestos because he's an old, selfish prick.

Warpde October 3, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Nah, they got laid off.

ChillBill October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Who is this mummy moderating the debate?

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Countdown to Ecstasy!!

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

other means = actual series of tubes

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Worried about Mitt's motherboard slowing down and glitching at this high altitude.

littlebigdaddy October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I am drinking healthy, low-alchohol Guinness, because I have the feeling there will be many drinking occasions tonight.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

And three questions on bee-keeping!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

A bonus question is on Chicago blues musicians.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Fuck the drinking…I'm using reds and bennies for my debate game. Yeehaaa!!!!!

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I can't get through this without the Wonkette live-blog. Hey Wonkers. Let the games begin!

slithytoves October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Jesus, enough with the rules.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Jim Lerher's face is like one of those Flemish portraits who's eyes follow you around the room.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

No laughing allowed!!!!

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

OBAMA WINS IT!

BoroPrimorac October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Kick Off!

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

no boos hisses etcetc
except "Nigger!!!!!", of course

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

tag team liveblogging!

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Survey Says?

A: Barry.

PuckStopsHere October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Mitwit shakes a blah mans hand for the first time in his life.

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

its ok, he has some kkkleenex in the lectern

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

You know, I think that might be the first time he's shaken hands to begin with.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

And looks around for Clinton to wipe his hands on.

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Annnnd, here we go!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Romney's flag pin is bigger. BURN!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Aaaaand they're off!
drink

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Mitt looks scared

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Hi kids, Good news: silent audience. Bad news: 90 minutes?! Don't they know about Amercia's terrible attention span?

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

What are jobs?

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

"Fuck you, Mitt."
"No, fuck you Barack."

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Damned liberal coins.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Obama is wearing a blue tie. Why does he hate America?

Jim Newell October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Is the website working for people BECAUSE FUCK IT IS NOT WORKING

gullywompr October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Fucking websites – how do they work?

Designer_Rants October 3, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Aliens.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Yep, just like it always does

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

It's mostly working. As well as usual that is.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I'll try to transcribe it for you but I'm not sure I can type that fast. Here we go…

Obama: I've got a … something about sourc… er, tax cod…

You know what, screw it. Find a TV.

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

We'll break IntenseDebate before this is done.

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Which? There are many.

deanbooth October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I'm seeing 8:58 as the latest. If it doesn't work, print it up and I'll subscribe to your newsletter.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

It's working for me, except your liveblog post is inexplicably below the "Zinger" one.
Oh, and Wonkette is making me nauseous as usual, so that's working too.

Extemporanus October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

It's working for me…

(Welcome back, Jen & Kim!)

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:27 pm

It's been iffy.

BTWBFDIMHO October 3, 2012 at 11:51 pm

When your editor/moderator writes in ALL CAPS it means something FREAKING BAD HAPPENED!

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

We're talking about creating jobs IN THIS COUNTRY MITT!

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Hey, before this gets into full swing, does anyone else here remember Celebrity Deathmatch?

CarnyTrash October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Aww. Sweetie!

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Aw sweet! Love you Michelle!

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

The President can create jobs?
This changes everthang.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Barack loves Michelle; awww.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

I love her more. And he's not good enough for her.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

auto industry — drink!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Who won?

BloviateMe October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

China

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Barry seems a little nervous. I do not like.

salt_bagel October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

WHOA NOBODY SAID THIS WAS SPOSED TO BE SEXXXXY

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

He's sending private messages to his black mistress instead of focusing on jerbs!!1!1

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Haha. Suck it, GOP handlers. No one noticed the wedding anniversary when scheduling. Isn't the 20th, Reverse Cowgirl?

salt_bagel October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

That's the other 364 days.

docterry6973 October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Nuts. I missed it.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Flag pins. Drink!!

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

anniversary,sweetie!! Win

littlebigdaddy October 3, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Well, I see Mittens resisted his advisors' recommendation to show up in blackface. Mind you, what's up with his hair?

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Barry, I love ya but you're no Joe Biden when it comes to buttering up the missus.

IceCreamEmpress October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Never go full "Valley of the Dolls," because Broadway doesn't go for booze and pills. There's only one star in a Neely O'Bama picture, and that's Neely O'Bama!

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Either you're a film connoisseur or a fan of Stephanie Miller's box. Either way, I salute you!

ChillBill October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Bad timing for being a romantic, Barry.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

< waiting for zinger >

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Economic patriotism- Drink! Middle Class- Drink!

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Zing!!

anonymousryan October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

What channel is everyone watching on? I'm watching CSPAN but I'm afraid I'll miss out on funny pundit comments. Are they all going to be pretty much the same?

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Streaming on NPR

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

CSPAN. The other ones have funny pundits.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

PBS. Mid-way between CNN and Cspan.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

This is my "channel": http://www.c-span.org/flvPop.aspx?src=91622|AK_Do…

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

This is my "channel": http://www.c-span.org/flvPop.aspx?src=91622|AK_Do…

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Cue the lip-smacking. Ewwwwwww

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

The traditional 20th wedding anniversary gift is China. Maybe Mitt will give us a few jobs back from China.

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Deserves many upfists!

smashaduck October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

He says "Jim" like he once knew a poor guy with that name.

YerMa October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Miffed's flag pin is WAY bigger. And kudos for skipping the Snooki face, Willard!

Moniker Lewinsky October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Romneybot comes out swinging!

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I'm SO ready. I've got CNN open in one window, Wonkette in another, Andrew Sullivan's blog in the third, Twitter in the fourth, and YouPorn in the fifth.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

You ninja warrior, owning the cyberspace.

deanbooth October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

And all with just one hand on the keyboard!

mayor_quimby October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Now that's a goddamn problem solver! Do you own a small business, perchance?

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Lying sack of Mitt

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Mitt-bot.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Sure lady, here's a buck.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Ann, can you take in this baby?

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

I thought he was going to offer jobs as domestics in one of his houses…

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

"Yes! Of course I can–infant skin is wonderful material for dresses."

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I'm sorry, I can't watch Romney!

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Romney: I am a hu-man be-ing and understand you fellow hu-mans.

mayor_quimby October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Did Mitt tell that lady to go fuck herself and borrow money from her parents?

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Can I help you? Are there no work houses? Are there no debtor prisons?

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

A plebe touched me in Dayton! An urchin shoved her whelp at me in Denver!

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

"Can you help me?" I replied, "No. Fuck no."
Ziiinnnng

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Mitt: A woman asked can ya help us? KENYA HELP US? I see what you did there, Mittens!

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Yes we can help – we need some new gardeners….

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Hey her husband had 4 jobs-whiner

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Mitt should have been honest with the woman in Ohio and told her he sent her job to China

Mumbletypeg October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

"I've had the 'occasion' to meet…" Mitt does, on occasion, think of you people, when he meets them.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Has he dyed more of his gray side bits?

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I noticed the same thing.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

He has , trying to look more youthful.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

He wants to look like Mr. Fantastic. It's not working.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Well, at least he isn't in Brownface.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Mittens' plan has five vague undefined parts that will totally work but he can't tell us the details.

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Best schools in the world? With those nasty union-loving teachers?

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Didn't he say that our educational system isn't good enough…probably because of those dirty union thugs (teachers)…

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Oh, Mitt, please forget #5.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Small business? HUGE businesses are all he knows about!

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

"Crack down on China if and when they cheat"?? uh Mitt, they own our ass. What do you suggest?

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Actually, China owns his ass, because he has sent so many jobs to China…

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I'm sorry, Mitt, your quavering voice just isn't convincing.

viennawoods13 October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Goddam whiner. (Him, not you, obv.)

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

"A woman grabbed my arm and said, 'MISS! STOP MOLESTING MY ARM, MISS!'"

mavenmaven October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Attacking China? I think Romney already lost.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

You know what would get small business going again? GET THE FUCKING BANKS TO ACTUALLY LEND TO THEM YOU DIPSHIT

docterry6973 October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Some stimulus would help. Cold hard cash right into the hands of poorz who will instantly take to my showroom and buy stuff.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

"trickle-down government"? The fuck? Oh Mittens.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Yeah, we tried that twice before (`980-1992 and 2000-2008) and it failed miserably.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Trickle-down GOVERNMENT? WTF?

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

<sigh> Oh, Willard…what would we do without you*?

*many, many wonderful things.

savethispatient October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I suspect the URL in ends in .XXX

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I know what it takes…..
OK tells us what it takes.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Attempted Zinger #1: Trickle Down Government!

Lucidamente1 October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Wasn't that when the Gipper peed himself?

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

direct response from bamz.

go barry.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Mitt, how are you going to train people and build great schools while cutting taxes for millionaires?

iTuna October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

MR PRESIDENT, WHO KILLED LAURA PALMER?!?!

edit: operation 'get mad high on pain meds and watch Twin Peaks' was a resounding success

Chet Kincaid_ October 4, 2012 at 9:38 am

The Original Cult Sci-Fi/Fantasy Disappointment! X-Files and Lost failed longer, but not as hard!

iburl October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Mitt just said he is not going to cut taxes on the rich.

Wow, he did reboot.

Watch on http://www.democracynow.org if you want to hear from the Republican, Democratic, Green, and Justice nominees all.

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Nah-I don't even want to hear the main challenger

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Government taxing more in this President's term ?
Liar !

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Is it okay with you guys if I have a third glass of wine already?

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Only if I can too. YES WE CAN.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Romney's smile looks like he swallowed a bucket of yak piss.

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Romney has a goofy look-is he drunk already?

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I was gonna mention his sunken eye-sockets, but that wouldn't be nice.

Native_of_SL_UT October 3, 2012 at 9:09 pm

That was scary. I thought Mitt was gonna show he was a genuine guy by starting the debate with tears.

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Taxing more? Uh…

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Slow down, Barry. Ya got 84 more minutes.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

STOP agreeing with your opponent, Mr. President. Really.

Mumbletypeg October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Pleasantries, etc. for appetizer
Being the Adult In The Room, main course
Zingers® for dessert

anniegetyerfun October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I fucking hate it when he does that.

slithytoves October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Am I drinking too much or is everyone talking too fast?

littlebigdaddy October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

No one said "Go Pioneers"? Would've been a gimme.

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

His trickle down approach? Is this a callback to the "romantic timez with me!" comment?

littlebigdaddy October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Maybe Mittens can do a Dole after the election and become a pharmaceutical spokesman for Flomax.

Mumbletypeg October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I am aware Mittens is talking in his "quiet room" voice

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Mitt really looks like heck, like he's going to cry or something

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

No. he has that, "you-poor-pitiful-thing look. Don't you understand I am supposed to be the president, you stupid blah."

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Obama wants to invest in community colleges? All right!

Give me some rope
Tie me to dream
Give me the hope
To run out of steam
Somebody said
It can be here
We could be roped up, tied up
Dead in a year
I can't count the reasons I should stay
One by one they all just fade away

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

And that math don't add up!

archikvetch October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Is Mittens affecting a sincerity oozing rasp to sound sincere? Ain't working here…

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I'm running late with my commute. Did Obama take the stage, cry "Allah Akbar!" and detonate his explosive vest?

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

not yet. muslim socialist is pacing himself.

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

It was more of a Sic Semper Tyrrannis.

docterry6973 October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

No, no. All that comes AFTER he wins a second term. Then it is jihad and sharia, 24/7.

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:55 pm

And soshalizm. Don't forget the soshalizm!

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 12:08 am

Nothing like some good old-fashioned Moose Lump Soshulism to get the teabaggers going.

JackObin October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I see Diet Coke on the table. I hate to tell you this, Romney clan, but that shit is FAR worse for you than coffee or booze. Phony ding-a-lings.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Mitt looking down , scribbling and then smirking is not very appealing.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Smirk'n-scribble! Smirk'n'scribble!

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Mittens' flag pin is bigger than Barry's. Of course, he's compensating…

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Is Mitt running with a stable OS release?

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Is that a Rafalca reference?

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 12:31 am

Are you kidding me, that sonofabitch's OS is held together with baling wire.

redarmyzombie October 4, 2012 at 12:36 am

You're too generous. I'd say it's more along the lines of scotch tape and dried chewing gum.

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:53 am

I'm just glad I'm not doing bugfix on him.

smashaduck October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

No tax cut? Does the Tea Party know this?

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

In the msnbc split screen reaction shots mitt looks like Mrs. Doubtfire without the make up.

Moniker Lewinsky October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Etch-a-Sketch mode engaged.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Romney won't increase taxes for high income people; of course. Asshole prick fuckhead.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I'll call you a cunt.

DocChaos October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I've made the drinking game easy, every time either Obama and Romney say the word "and" I take another shot.

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I don't have a tax cut??????????????????????????????

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

middle class buried, Mittster? hey, that was Joe B's line.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Economy tax — ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZiiiiinnnngggg!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Lehrer introduced Romney as the former Governor of Massachusetts.

Typical liberal media bias.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Attempted Zinger #2: The Economy Tax!

BoroPrimorac October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

So do you want to raise taxes on the top 10%, Mitt?

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Mitt, it'd be must appreciated if you stopped speaking to the president as if he was a child. Thanks.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Exactly.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Barry is going to slam this lip-smacking bastard.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I hear even pussy's getting tighter but I have no direct knowledge of that.

smashaduck October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I have $4300 in my sofa cushions.

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Mitt's so concerned about the 47% being crushed…

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Rmoney is making faces! Just like Gore. he's goin' down!!!

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Mitt is pretending to care about middle class Americans. You know, those who make $250,000.00 a year.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Mittbot FLAILING_ARMS_ROUTINE FUNCTION DIVIDE BY ZERO

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

ERROR!!!!!! MITTBOT_FLAILING_ARMS_ROUTINE_FUNCTION_DIVIDE_BY_ZERO

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Uh oh. Mitt is going to have to send an email to his rich donors and tell them he was just fooling when he said no tax cuts for the rich.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

"I'll bet you $10,000.00 my dick is bigger"

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

You lose, Mitt.

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I dunno- Cheney is pretty big…

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 12:53 am

Girl, you should be able to spot a stuffed sock at 20 paces.

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Awesome!!

Biel_ze_Bubba October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

WTF? Mitt won't cut taxes???? That popping sound is Ryan's head exploding.

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:22 am

I suspect that bubble wrap would make a louder sound than Ryan's head exploding.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Mitt. Ask a question. A question, Mitt. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ASK OBAMA A QUESTION.

[ x ] Does not follow directions

Mittens Howell, III October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

[ x ] Does not play well with others.

[ x ] Eats glue.

glamourdammerung October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

[ x ] Tortured the family pet, made jokes about it, then does not understand why normal people were horrified.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Get off the goddamn price of gas. Look up the price in 2007, early 2008, ass wipe.

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

It was a hard egg to lay, I bet.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Hey! That photo of the Romneys shows a bottle of Coke. Who's the heretic?

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Caffeine free- is that allowed?

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I'll have to run that by the Bishop.

EdFlintstone October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Mitt—-"you mean I really have to explain my tax plan tonight"?

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Why won't that Negro maintain eye contact?!

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Yeah, drill in our national parks. Great idea, Mitt.

Fuck you.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

There is no such thing as clean coal.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

WTF is "clean" coal?

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I have some- it is fake and goes with a gas fireplace

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

"Jumbo Shrimp", Military Intelligence" etc.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

You find it in the aisle with the dehydrated water and the salt-free sodium chloride.

OzoneTom October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

It's the coal that stays in the ground.

Mittens Howell, III October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

It's dirty coal that's been shat out of Frank Luntz's anus.

docterry6973 October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Comes from good Republican mines.

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:23 am

Extracted from the ground by legitimate miners?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

The Romneybot needs a reboot. It is spewing gibberish.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

What is it with revenue-neutral tax reform. I don't understand this. Do businesses only ever make decisions that keep bringing in the same money? Don't you want to bring in more money?

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Romney likes stuff that burns. oil, coal, bridges.

AddHomonym October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I like coal!

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

By the way, I'm a total dick, see.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Funny, I was thinking about borrowing from my parents. You know, to start a new business.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

"Clean coal" — Shout out to Ohio!

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Mitt, there is no such thing as "clean coal"

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

OH AND HAI WONKET FREND

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I like coal! tasty!

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Oh Mittens wants to just rip up the country to get all that precious oil and coal; fuck you.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Someone wrote online that when Romney gets shook up he waves his arms around.

salt_bagel October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I mother-fucking LOOOVE coal!

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

He should stick some in his mouth.

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Does mitt have a pledge pin (I'm guessing Flounder) on his flag pin?

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:26 am

Beta male Mitt isn't Neidermeyer on his best day.
Ryan is Neidermeyer; Mitt is Greg Marmalard with the limp noodle.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

this is responding? STFU Mitt.

smashaduck October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Why, back in college, we used to cut our blow with coal. What a rush!

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Great Episode of Alaska Bush Pilots on TWC!

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

"By the way, I like coal." I like to slip a slab into Ann's butt cheeks and make her walk through a Wal Mart and watch her pinch out a diamond on the way back to the Cadillac.

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:26 am

Shhhh!
Oh, now you've gone and given away the secret of their wealth!

wsbloodystump October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

"I like coal"–moi aussi, Romney, when it it is forced down my throat to absorb toxins…..

Biel_ze_Bubba October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Mitt can't increase the tax burden on middle class, and can't increase it on the wealthy, but he's going to increase revenues. Gaaaah.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

They can't buy TWO Cadillacs though! Only rich assholes do that.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Oh god, the Mitt smirk is going to lose him the election.

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

President Rmoney of GOVERNMENTLAND

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

"I Like Coal." Are we going to say anything at all about Global Warming?

Ever?

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

he was taking about Nat King Cole- trying to get a black vote

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

barry's looking more professorial. good.

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Yeah……now…..where was he back in May when he was talking smack….

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

My dancing horse has a cadillac.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Same.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I like how "tax cut" has become nearly as much a slur as "tax hike." He has Romney on the defensive on taxes.

wsbloodystump October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Shit, can't we just let them cage-fight? Like to the death?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Holey crap! I think Mitt just blew his whole load in that last spiel.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Hey I've been doing that! Well if you replace "to start a new business" with "to pay the rent".

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Does Romney have a tiny diamond stud on his upper lip, or is that flop sweat?

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

How can you tell the difference and good evening, sir…..

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

This is REALLY boring. When does the nude Jell-O wrestling (for the LADIEZ) start?

archikvetch October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

ooh math and facts – Mitt must quit!

Biff October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

First time I ever heard mittens speak without gasping for air. This could spell trouble for Hopey…

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Jim Leher has big dead cow eyes.
just sayin'

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Leher has lost control of these two mavericks already. 90 minutes of repeating their TV ads? This is going to suck.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Oh, god, Willard is stuttering…the man is screwed.

e_z October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Mitt is an ad for the Smirk-o-Matic

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Transgender Coal Miners: Potential Romney micro-target

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

C'mon, Lehrer, who's in charge here????!!!!

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

This is the same obstructionist tactic David Gregory allowed Scott Brown to get away with.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Rude Romney interrupts Lehrer.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

mitt speaks of himself in the third person. CHUG!

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:28 am

Tessie does that sometimes; but when Tessie does it, it's cute.

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

From Sully: "A good volley back from Obama but Romney is coming off like Reagan, and has managed to provide anecdotes and stories, while Obama is a little wonky. But when Romney actually said that he wasn't cutting taxes for the very wealthy, it seems completely out of sync with his actual proposal."

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

All five boys are liars????

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Apples din't fall far from the tree, huh?

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

WTF C-SPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOWTHEFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Obama ain't your boy, you fucker. Stop that shit, already. He's not your child.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Thanks to only getting political news from Wonkette, this is the longest amout of time I've been exposed to Mitt actually moving and talking. Is it always this horrible?

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

yes.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

No. Sometimes it's worse.

mayor_quimby October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Oh yeah, he's fucking awful on the stump, especially when the camera is zoomed in on him. He looks manic, frantic all the time

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Yeah! He seems more human that I thought he would but he also seems dickish, smug and kinda manic compared to Barry.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Stop lying about me, Boy!!

mayor_quimby October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

That was fucked up, one of those toe deaf things that Rmoney does so often

CheeseBro69 October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Oh snap! Romney boys got zinged by daddy!

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Mitt just said his sons lie a lot.

CarnyTrash October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Why does Mitt's mouth look so chapped?

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Adelson's ass has a fungal thing going on…

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:30 am

Ever since Pennsylvania said they had to vote fair and square, Mitt's been putting in some extra time blowing the Koch boys.

Negropolis October 4, 2012 at 2:59 am

'Cause sucking Koch-dick is hard?

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

If Mitt won't allow a tax cut that's not paid for, then he either won't offer a tax cut, won't pay for it, or he's lying. Hmmm…

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Mitt will not add to the deficit with his tax plan, but won't release any detail. And he won't raise taxes on the rich or the middle class. That makes perfect sense.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Uh oh, "five boys." That's my snack food word.

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

If Mitt says his tax plan won't add to the deficit, well then, darn it, it obviously won't!

What could be clearer?

Lower taxes on middle-class families don't mean squat if they lose more in deductions than they gain from the lower rates…

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Romney just called his kids a bunch of liars. Must not have raised 'em right. Also called Obama a liar. Yep … he went there.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I saw a study that said that the study that talked about studious studies about studying killed Professor Plum in the Study with the study.

Hee hee. Study.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Wiskey –> Gin

Comments?

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:31 am

One word: Tanqueray.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Look, Jim. Romney's just full of shit. We all know that.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Romney looks like he needs a good shit.

wsbloodystump October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Okay Miffed….you get to talk even though dead-eyed JL said no…..ugh rage-stroke coming on! GollyWomper please help!

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Mitt looks like he's about to cry or yak. Is he going to crack?

gullywompr October 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

So sorry that I missed your plea, stump. I would have done what I could, although rage-strokes are not really my specialty.

Quite the opposite, actually…

gullywompr October 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Maybe next drinky thing, I can be more helpful.

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Stumps, come back.

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Yay arithmetic!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

You don't want to make Lehrer mad.
He will milktoast you to death.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

He will "I'm so disappointed" the fuck out of you.

Recessappt October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Romney looks like a proletarian art photo looking off into the distance while being called out

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Romneybot angry! Romneybot smash!

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Barry called Mitt a flip flopper. Lol

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Barry blew his arithmetic line.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

"His big bold idea is nevermind" Haha Obama points out Mittens tax promises are obvious bullshit.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Math is hard!

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I think Jim and Ken broke the site. It's true, you can't go home again.

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

He's going to have people pay fees, just like they did in Massachusetts, to make up for revenue. He supposedly passed a funeral tax….

Biel_ze_Bubba October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Obama plays the math card. BOOM!

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Actually, Barry, Nirvana's big, bold idea was "Nevermind." Sorry!

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

jerbs, jerbs, jerbs…triple shot of absinthe….oh that burns

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Romney's wearing a bigger flag lapel pin. Obama can kiss Oklahoma goodbye.

BathroomGoblin October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

The Victorians loved coal too, governor.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

All this math shit is boring.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I think "Nevermind" is going to be one of those memorable lines coming out of this.

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Etch a sketch reference, methinks.

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Andrew Sullivan: "Romney is kicking the president's ass." I love you, Sully, but fuck you, also.

nolanat October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I'm drunk already. Is that bad? I'm going to get drunker, aren't I?

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Obama just pointed out Mitt is lying about his policy.
And Clinton!

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

IT'S MATH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(never thought I'd be glad that CNN is streaming C-SPAN FUCKED UP)

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Donald Trump is a small business; awesome.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Did he just make a Trump dick joke?

Arla October 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Why is the MittBot having such a problem enunciating words and phrases with more than two syllables? I thought he was just choking on the phrase "middle income" out of principle, but the words absolutely and completely, among others, appear to be beyond his grasp too.

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:33 am

I think the concept of "middle income" is beyond his grasp, not just the words.

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:31 am

I think they gave him something to pep him up. People have been complaining for 18 months now that the guy lacks spirit, charisma, pep, zing, etc. They knew tonight was make-or-break so they gave him some coffee or caffeine pills or speed, and he could hardly talk. He kept tripping over his own tongue, stuttering, stammering, stumbling.

redarmyzombie October 4, 2012 at 1:40 am

Say, do you think they gave him any of that sweet Columbian Blow?

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:43 am

Stop it, I am SO fucking jealous.

redarmyzombie October 4, 2012 at 1:48 am

*TeeHee*

CheeseBro69 October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Romney and Obama are dickriding small businesses so hard right now

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Trump libel. YAY!!!

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

science and research? Oh Barry please.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

"And I don't think Donald Trump thinks of himself as small…anything!"

Somehow, there's a Freudian motif here.

Dudleydidwrong October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Romney says he won't lower taxes for the upper class, or raise them for the middle class, or the lower class. Hey, Mitt! Where's the money coming from? Huh? Huh? Huh? (Look behind him and see if he has his fingers crossed.)

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

He's going to close those loop holes he refuses to get specific on.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Same place he got those battleships, as the old joke goes.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Lehrer is losing control.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Lehrer should pull out an air horn and blast it to get them into line.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Lehrer is folding like a lawn chair after Labor Day.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

MITTBOT_FRANTIC_WRITE_NOTES_ROUTINE_INFINITE_LOOP_DETECTED

stew1 October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Bam's makin' the Mormon guy swept…

stew1 October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I meant sweat, but swept works I guess.

mavenmaven October 3, 2012 at 9:21 pm

so dull. I can't watch this part. Mitt is so obfuscatory, and Obama looks scared, surprisingly.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

he's gotta get his groove. c'mon barry.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Obama does not look comfortable. He needs to practice some of that disdain Romney is so good at.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

But what about the jobs for the CHILDREN, gentleman? What about the children?

schvitzatura October 4, 2012 at 12:04 am

How about a job for a 45 year-old child of 70 year-old parents?

JERBS!

sudsmckenzie October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

And Donald Trump just set his blackberry to ALL CAPS

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Mitt really must have had a lot of milk and cookies.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

He's stammering like a fucking machine gun, now. Must be lying extra-hard.

slithytoves October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Apparently Romney has dry mouth and dry eyes. Knock off the secret caffeine binges!

OzoneTom October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

It seems rather vulgar.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

He works part-time jiggering my electronics.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I heard the crowd groan.

Dudleydidwrong October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

"Mr. President, you are exactly right," sayeth the Mitt. Then shut the fuck up and go home with your goddamn tail between your holy underwear.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Hey, Mitt— what about people WHO DON'T OWN A FUCKING BUSINESS?

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

They are not job creators. We do not care about them.

mille derps October 4, 2012 at 12:03 am

If you aren't a corporation, what kinda people are you?

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I have a friend who has a small electronics business. Maybe you've heard of him, Michael Dell?

salt_bagel October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

If Lehrer does not take control of this shit, the debate is going collapse under its own gravity.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

The small business EMPLOYEES are not taxed at the highest rate cause, and this is just math, most don't EARN enough income to merit that top tax rate. Now, of course, they fucking clean up on capital gains, but that's just as it should be…

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm

YOU CAN'T HAVE JOBS UNLESS THERE IS CONSUMER DEMAND!!!

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Yeah, Mitt, we can totally trust a business organization on how many jobs taxes will cost.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

"Bowles-Simpson" — Drink a bottle of Geritol!

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

And I bought his business and fired them all.

ChillBill October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Did Barry just make a Donald Trump "small" (dick) joke?

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Hm. Does he have nighttime incontinence and a tendency towards fire-setting?

glamourdammerung October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Does he have nighttime incontinence and a tendency towards fire-setting?

No one knows. Anytime someone tries to ask, Ann starts shrieking "STOP IT" and whining about "you people".

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Oh please please please make Mittens STFU, come on Hopey, gloves off please.

RoseOsanantone October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Yes, Mittens – your priority is jobs…. That you can outsource to other countries.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

What is that red blotch on Romney's lapel flag pin? An aborted fetus?

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Good gawd, is it a heart?

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I vote fetus.

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I do believe it is a pentagram. You can find them on the Mo temple in SLC, too. Whaddaya know.

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Mitt is not impressed. – That'll cost 700K jobs. Bitch, please, Mitt can knock out twice that in five minutes. Come on Bams. get hiiiiiim.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

A tinker of electrical devices spoke to me of the crushing weight of the local tax collector's buttocks!

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Neither of these guys will ever let the other get the last word on the first question. This debate will last well past the end of the election.

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Hahaha!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Mitt is spitting out the numbers like an android with diarrhea

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Math, common sense and history!? Whatever, Harvard!

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Romney is George Bush!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Obama is citing Bill Clinton. I guess he plans on diddling the interns in his second term?

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

fuck off.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Clinton vouches for me! I am Sammy to his Frank!

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Barry is linking Mitt to GWB without mentioning Bush's name.

JohnnyQuick October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

(Directed at Newell and Layne, of course).

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Whoa, whoa, you don't make the rules here!

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I can smell it…we're gonna break the intertubes for certain tonight.

Dudleydidwrong October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Romney's plan didn't work before. But by golly we're going to do it again and again and again until it works. Or until the Rapture takes Romney to Kolob and he can start screwing with another planet.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Comments is working fine; I guess it's just "liveblog" that's broken. Fuckit, we'll do it ourselves!

BoroPrimorac October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Romney is being petulant.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

MITTBOT_GENERAL_ERROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Romney just fired Lehrer. "I get teh last word"

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Oh god, Willard is acting so fucking petulant, it's sad.

Sassomatic October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Mitt gets to make the rules now.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Jim, control your shit, already. Shut it down, baby.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Legit, baby!

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

NO NO you may not make this comment. CAN I PLEASE DO THE NEXT DEBATE? I WILL SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN. Ahem. 2 minutes means two minutes.

ProgressiveInga October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I'd watch.

archikvetch October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

You people don't understand what my five Trillion is…

sudsmckenzie October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

"The website is basically broken for the rest of the night, but stick around!" these two Still haven't splurged for cable – face palm…

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Last word. OK, he has revealed his megalomaniac side.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Mitt's doing that disgusting lip-smacking thing again.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

That's point one
That's point one
That's point one
That's p**BLAM**

*thud*

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Who is this 'middle class" they keep referring to? I heard they were a pretty large tribe up until the late 1980's.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Wiped out by the Great Credit Swap Plague of 2008.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Does it ever help a candidate to complain about the moderator trying to move on after 20 minutes of saying the same thing over and over?

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Unfortunately, no.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

OK, what about this shit written on golden tablets by some skeezy angel?

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Has Lehrer gone AWOL? HELLO???

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Yeah, that's great Mitt. Can you make me dinner?

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Zhivago Plan: 5 trillion dollars for me! I promise to spend it!!!!!

anonymousryan October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Can America survive a black president emulating Clinton? Think of all the chubby white women!

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Romney won't support any tax cut that will ad to the deficit! Even though there is no such animal.

Crank_Tango October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

well see, tax cuts don't add to the deficit because Reagan, boom.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I hate the lip smacking.

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Ah, food stamps, drink the bathtub gin.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Apparently they only programmed Romney with the same five talking points for tonight.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

turn off his microphone jim

Designer_Rants October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Oooohhhh yeah Barry, talk about the surplus and the jerbs and the Clinton….
And then Entitled Mitt has to tell the moderator he's going to talk no matter what. shitty.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

My dancing pony would perform better in the Olympics under me.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Why want Rafalca in the family picture? Secret Democrat?

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

How the fuck did Jim Lerher lose control of this so early?

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Mitt fired him.

PsycWench October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Romney did NOT just bring up the food stamps..

EdFlintstone October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Somebody needs to gong Mitt.

petersonphotography October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Jenga's only fun with Liqour involved – What makes Mormon Jenga Fun? ICE CREAM!

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Food stamps! Mittens makes a racist dogwhistle; DRINK!

OzoneTom October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Seems like Gov. Romney has been getting a lot more than his share of time to spew.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Food stamps.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Guns + butter = ?????

Crank_Tango October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

delicious.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

= Ted Nugent fapping?

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:40 am

Sauteed guns?

Native_of_SL_UT October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Mitt: Fuck you Jim, I make the debate rules.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

WHAT? He gets to talk last AND first?

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Yes. And that feeble old man just waves his arms and splutters.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

And interrupt all the time. CEO to the last.

Jukesgrrl October 4, 2012 at 12:29 am

Yes, his overly developed feelings of entitlement were on parade tonight.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Reagan proved deficits don't matter.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Talk about Mitt's Generation!!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Please don't break the internet. I can't get through these things without Wonkette.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Oh yes Mitt tell us all about what is MORAL you fucking tool.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Can you believe that buttmunch.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Car elevators: moral.
Dancing horses: moral.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Math and morals?

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Which comments are Jim and which are Ken? Just sayin….

Iam_Who_Iam October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

The ones dripping vile and disgust would be Ken's.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Hey, I've only got so much bile and disgust myself. I'm trying, dammit!

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Mitt, if you feel that way, call for the repeal of the Bush tax cuts

CarnyTrash October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Where are my zingers???

BoroPrimorac October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Moral, motherfucker? With the money you have, one can eliminate hunger in several American cities.

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

What were the rules, again???

I've just been enjoying a fine Chardonnay…

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I've almost enjoyed the entire bottle.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

There are no rules and they're changing all the time.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Romneycare is ok though.

Sassomatic October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

So this whole thing is just a lot of "I know you are but what am I?"

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

MITTBOT_SPEECH_SYNTHESIS_TOO_FAST

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Maybe meet with Newt on the moon.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

People, is Mitt on drugs? He's squeaking and leaping about.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I think Mitt's been drinking coffee.

BathroomGoblin October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I like big bird.

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I love Big Bird? WTF?

CarnyTrash October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

There's a spider on Romney's flag pin.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Ugh, too nervous. Smoke break.

"I love Big Bird?"

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

If you tax progressively you won't have to borrow money from China.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

FUCK BIG BIRD!!!!

Sassomatic October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Clearly the deficit is caused by Big Bird.

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

That fuckin' big bird – always sticking us with the bill……

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Mitt loves big bird??????

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

possibly talking about Ann's nipple-chomping bird

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Yeah, he's great when lightly roasted with a pear demi-glace and served with a crisp white wine.

I actually have no idea what I'm talking about, my usual meal is chili or spaghetti as we cannot afford any more.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

China, and "Obamacare"! That's two, two more dogwhistles!

CheeseBro69 October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"I love big bird"

Pretty sure no one saw that coming

DustBowlBlues October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Is this working? Dust Bowl Blues, blue at being locked out.

mavenmaven October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Romney just won't play by the rules. Does that make him a winner?

Self-Uploader October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Think of the children!
Fuck you, Mitt. Really, the children are being burdened by student loans and many are being more burdened by the privatized colleges and we all know you know people who own those colleges.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I like Big Bird? I like you too?
Mitt, YOU DON'T GET TO BE THE DECIDER YOU MOR(M)ON.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Romney likes Big Bird. Proof he was manufactured by the Jim Henson Creature Shop?

under_score October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Save Big Bird!!!

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

US Navy: Much better at the state level! Let New Jersey run the Air Force!

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:42 am

Yeah! Fuckin Ay!

MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:24 am

Oh, geezus, does this mean we gotta worry you'll start bombing our asses?

redarmyzombie October 4, 2012 at 12:45 am

Say, wasn't there something a while back about some Republican from a landlocked state wanting to buy an aircraft carrier?

PsycWench October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Oh, Mitt is a Real American. He likes Big Bird. You know, Big Bird is kind of liberal, always sharing that bird seed.

Doktor Zoom October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Romney will cut PBS! Deficit SOLVED

bikerlaureate October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

$2 billion saved, right?

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Ok now come on Bammerz, bring it on now. This isn't supposed to be his stump speech time. Kick his ass now.

salt_bagel October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Mitt Romney wants to borrow money from China.

Dudleydidwrong October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Rmoney likes PBS. Isn't that sweet! But with him, PBS is fucked–"Sorry, Jim. Big Bird is going to have to move to the zoo."

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Jeez Louise. What a dick!

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Moral issue!
Mitt's game is to take all the normal Obama lines and use them in a pervasive way.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Big bird = Big government. Think about it. Vote, people.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Jim Lehrer, I will sodomize you with Big Bird's beak to reduce this horrifying deficit!

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Mitt likes Big Bird. Big Bird thinks Mitt is a dick.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Big Bird thinks Mitt's plan to reduce the deficit is going to ruin the country like fucking Elmo did to Sesame Street.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mitt wishes he had a big bird.

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

And fuck you, Mittens. Bert and Ernie just wanna marry, settle down, and raise rubber duckies.

glamourdammerung October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

LOOK OUT, BIG BIRD. BISHOP ROMNEY WANTS TO ROOF RACK YOU!

schvitzatura October 4, 2012 at 12:12 am

Barkley breathes a sign of relief…

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I really really really hate mitt now.

subsum October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Fucking Mittens looks like he had an epiphany: he came out swinging saying he's not going to lower taxes on the rich. He's saying a few things that make sense… I'm not puking… I'm beginning to listen to the motherfucker…. I'm starting to pay attention… fuck! I'm scared, man!

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

He gave you two minutes Mitt, now STFU or bring out some stagehand with a tazer to stop him.

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Fuck you, PBS. But thanks for hosting us. And I'll fuck Big Bird, too. I like him.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

big bird bang?

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Random observations: Romney is more of a quick-fire than I remember him to be. Obama is more zen than I saw him in debates with Hillary.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Mitt is calling for cutting PBS? He's preaching out of Grover Norquist's prayer book directly

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Nothing says Win like telling Jim when Romney becomes President he will be fucking fired.

Arla October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

He even gave him the classic asshole boss line, "I like you, but we're going to have to let you go."

MilwaukeeKent October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Romney seems to have a magic plan to fix the economy was returning us to the 1950s.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Shit, what sort of credit card do you have to have to afford two wars? That takes Bill Gates Money.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Now, David Gregory, he wouldn't let these two get away with this shit.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Oh god, I just caught a glimpse of that smirk.

I need to kill something, NOW!!!

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

He likes Lehrer??? WTF?

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Mitt looking as if he is winning this right now, come on Barry.

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I think O is doing fine. Really.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

He's always going to look like he's winning a deficit discussion. It's only an issue to conservatives.

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Good point.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I dunno, Willard just sounds petulant and vague to me.

BoroPrimorac October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

He's talking more, but he's not drawing any blood.

PsycWench October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I dunno, why is Mitts more animated than Barry?

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

He's been overclocked.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I'm sorry, my snark is currently being suppressed by rage at Money's little "we have to destroy government in order to save it" bullshit.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Ahhhh… the asshole Mitt makes an appearance. Imagine 4 years of press conferences listening to that breathy, rasping voice. Someone else said it here: Romney GW Bush!

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I missed the first 1/2 hour. How is Prez doing? I see in 2 seconds high pitched whiney Mittens is on the offensive because Steve Schmidt told him to. Any zingers?

Pres.Beeblebrox October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Time for MITTBOT> rm -r *

Sassomatic October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I promise to vote for whichever guy is going to increase my food stamps.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Boom goes the dynamite!

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

O.o
Aaaawkwaaaard…

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

"Big Bird makes us borrow money from China. Now you know." – MY HUSBAND JUST NOW

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Ask Romney to sacrifice one of his homes.

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

BOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

ERROR_MITTBOT_ZINGERS_DELETED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Limeylizzie October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Bring up the Primaries, that's good.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Mitt is (wait for it…) UNBALANCED!

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I'm listening but not watching, and Mitt was actually coming off pretty well. Then he started sounding manic a few minutes ago and seems to have gone off the rails a bit. Either way this is one fucking boring debate.

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

He seems to be talking more than Bammerz, too. C'mon Jimmy, cut Mittens off fer fuckssake. With a vote.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Ever wondered what it would be like if Michael Dukakis debated himself, on the one hand as a Conservative Robot, on the other as a guy with style? You got it. Come on Romney, switch over to kill mode. We need some laughs.

Steverino247 October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Aaaaaand my wife just shut off the TV. Said she'd heard Romney say "immoral" one too many times. If Mitt Romney makes MY wife (one of the sweetest humans you'll never meet) mad, he got to be driving all other females, regardless of species, completely insane.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I like this new tone of voice Bams is employing.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

OK, who farted.

Designer_Rants October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

WHOEVER SMELT IT DEALT IT!

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:45 am

All of us, Sharkey.

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

"When governor Romney stood on a stage with other Republican candidates…"

Romney shits self.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

The old 10 to 1 gambit! Zing!

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

ERROR_MITTBOT_SMIRK_OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

How it Mitt going to improve schools when he plans to gut the government?

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Good question.

glamourdammerung October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

How it Mitt going to improve schools when he plans to gut the government?

They will explain it after they win the election.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Too bad Congress won't do squat about it.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

The president seems to have a problem that wouldn't be a problem anywhere else of leaving enough space between his sentences that it gives Jim and in to cut him off, whereas Romney speaks so quickly he just steamrolls the moderator.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Obama apologized for going over two minutes. Another apology. OH WAIT! It's his first apology evah.

VinnyThePooh October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Allow me to knock that smirk off your face, Willard.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Well, they both have penises, so who would he cut off all the time.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Fuck you and your Republican POS Congress.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Oh, for the love of God Obama, you had a perfect opening there to scream about the motherfucking obstructionist Congress and you just blew it.

Dudleydidwrong October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Simpson-Bowles, Mitt? "Uh, thanks, but I have my own plan…" Car elevators in every pot and chickens in every living room.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Plus my flag pin is bigger than yours.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Mitt has rebooted into tax mode. Ctrl Alt Del people!!!

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

*Reboot*
*Chuckle*
*Resume Debate sub-routine >B<*

LibrarianX October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

MENDACITY!! Horrible, just horrible.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

God Mitt is an asshat.

SnarkOff October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I am afraid Mittens is wiping the floor with Obama. No snark.

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Are you kidding, no snark? In what way is Mittey doing that, I've missed the whole beginning I see Mittey is on attack mode, but I did miss the full 1/2 hour, I wondered if there were any big moments.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

It's pretty bad, particularly given the fact that Lehrer would probably let Mitt walk up to Obama, plunge a fucking dagger into his chest, pull it out, and Jim would offer his sleeve to wipe the fucking thing off.

SnarkOff October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

The attack is pretty effective, I think. He's being snarky and scolding, and Bamz is looking weak.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I just want Mitt to lose it. Like come unhinged.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Nah, he just called his 5 sons liars is all.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

The National Federation of Small Businesses is so anti-tax Grover Norquist names it in his will.

One_Man_Band October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Romney is just going to talk so fast that nobody will be able to process anything he said.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I think this is the plan. It's the only sense I'm able to make of his rambling, because if you actually listen to what he's saying, it's not popular with the electorate.

Misty Malarky October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I'm late to this buttchugger.
Have I missed any Zingers?

PsycWench October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Mitt Romney has a love/hate relationship with Big Bird and Lehrer needs to grow a pair.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

You missed a lot of interrupting.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I think he already has.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Unfortunately it makes him sound a little human. I want him to yell like he discovered the help polished his brown loafer with black polish.

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

COULD WE STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING TAXES PLEASE, MOTHERFUCKI!

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

You KILL JOBS!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Then we shift the money to the Cayman Islands and claim it as a loss!!!

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:48 am

"Oops! Did I say that part out loud?"

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Hey Jim how about you interrupt Romney for a while! The fuck!?

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Romney has ruled out revenue. Absolutely!

SnarkOff October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Did Romney just call Obama "Bro"?

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

BARRY! FIND YOUR BALLS MAN!!

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Now it's Spain – - – in 10 minutes it will be HITLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dudleydidwrong October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Lehrer must feel like he's a substitute referee at a gigantic gang-bang. When are the regular referees coming back?

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I want to go to Spain. Just saying.

AddHomonym October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

He hates Spain!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

They know what they did.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Yes. Spain demographics, economy, history, geography, just like the United States. Good comparison, Rombutt.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Romney says you can't tax people more. But he said the rich are doing well. So why can't they be taxed more? Does not compute. His logic chip is going.

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Can we do something else now? Can we just start this over? It's killing me.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Nine pages already???!?

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I know!!!???!!!!!

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Plus I actually have to read Newell and Layne — I'm glad I don't drink anymore!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

How's about that 15% tax on earned income SOME people get away with, HMMMMMM?

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Suck it Big Oil!

Well, sorta.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Mitt took two double-stacked Rafalcas.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

That cracked me up.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Mitt looks a little panicky. Or maybe just too many of Anne's diet pills.

subsum October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I think Mittens is kind of getting ahead on this thing. Come on, Barry… kick his ass! Don't you fucking disappoint me!

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Goddammit, somebody tell Jim fucking Lehrer where the mike cutoff switch is.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

And tie your pony on the jet roof.

Tilley October 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm

You can always roll down the window to check on it.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

There we go, Barry… Keep goin'.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

He's getting into his groove finally

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

The needs of the many are outweighed by the needs of the few. Sorry, Spock, but the way you said it is sooo 1960's. And show me some I.D.; I know you are not from these parts.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I'm still worried about Big Bird being axed.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I've actually identified how we can do that!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

But Ryan can't describe it.

Theywontlisten October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

mitt is going to stroke out

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Don't we all wish…..with votes….

tracyhasfun October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

ASK MITT IF HE CAN AFFORD TO PAY MY TAX RATE.

Humberto_Echo October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Sorry Jim, says the Chinese factory owning plutocrat, you and Big Bird are going to have to clean out desks.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Did somebody put Icy Hot in Romney's jock or something? He's really hyperventilating.

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Get it Barry. For fuck's sake.

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I support Simpson's bowels, Homer's a job creator.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Smirk-scribble
smirk-scribble
smirk-scribble
smirk-scribble
smirk-scribble
smirk-scribble

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Love it!

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Okay, Obama's starting to get good. He's going into speech mode where he's far more comfortable.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

That's it. It's about time you got on board this debate, Barry.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

In segment 4, each candidate will be handed a harmonica and asked to

"Whip that thing out and play us a little somethin"

salt_bagel October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Segment 4 will start at 6AM tomorrow morning.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Well I think we know the winner of that contest, amiright?

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 12:56 am
MittBorg October 4, 2012 at 1:20 am

Jesus I love that movie so much, I could watch it again right now. Thanks, sweetie!

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Barry needs to hammer home what he has accomplished during his first term, in addition to contrasting what he would do, and has identified, to make Mitt's word sound more hollow.

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Every now and then I think I hear Jim choking on something. If he croaks during this thing on live TV it will be the BEST FUCKING DEBATE EVER!

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Corporation hand-outs … education … finally Bams is on the offense!

IndianaKevin October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

When I was a child, I had to use textbooks that had been written in the 60s. I turned out OK.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

"Numbers on a sheet of paper" = Fuck you leverage buyout asshole! = WIN

BoroPrimorac October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

He just called Romney a computer.

Pres.Beeblebrox October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

MittBot9000 is very Nixonesque in this debate.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Plus I have to pee. How about a break, old man?

One_Man_Band October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Bamz needs to bring something besides boring-ass policy wonkery.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

"Accounting treatment" = Leverage buyout asshole = FAIL

AddHomonym October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Just take the rest of the night off, Lehrer.

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Decade old textbooks are from 2002. You think they had 9/11 in them yet?

archikvetch October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

God – this Mitt character is annoying

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Oh please please please make Mittens STFU

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Oil and gas makes TRILLIONS you tool!

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Romney should power the rest of his campaign with coal.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Here it comes, Green Energy. Say it like it's a bad thing

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Won't someone think of the poor mon-and-pop oil drillers?

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Solyndra! Drink!

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Sorry, I think Jim Lehrer has lost this debate…

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

He certainly lost control of it. In two minutes flat.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Solyndra = vodka time

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

AbandonHope is absolutely right – must call out the obstructionist Congress

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Mitt's going nuts, jebus.

AddHomonym October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Zing!

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Solyndra!!! Spanky2b just had an orgasm!!

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Maybe he can stop stalking us? Just maybe?

James Michael Curley October 3, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Jeez, this thing is boring. I just came from a meeting where a guy was giving a report on the number of deer killed this deer season by bow hunters and he never heard of "Hunger Games." I may sleep for a few weeks.

schvitzatura October 4, 2012 at 12:24 am

Venison, mmmm.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Actually, Congress passed that law. You may have missed it.

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Sylindra (sp?) THERE IT IS

Theywontlisten October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

rmoney"s eyes are way too red barry is about to pimp slap the red out

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Mitt would no about shipping jobs overseas.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Mitt's been talking long enough to explain the math in his plan. I hope Paul Ryan is watching.

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

'I like green energy too"
No Mitt Mountain Dew won't propel your Cadillac to the Country Club.

mavenmaven October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Oh, there was his other zinger about solyndra.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

There goes Romney's chance for election. He just suggested that it may be possible to get rid of oil subsidies some day.

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

IT'S TIME TO END IT. FUCK YEAH.

Simple J Malarkey October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I thought it was about to get interesting when O started talking about the schoolteacher he met in Vegas.

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

…Psst! "Green Energy" is Mittspeak for MONEY MOJO.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

And, to anyone who hates Big Bird like Mitt Romney, I dare you to watch this and not cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjFbz6vGU8

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

*blub*

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Jim Leher has lost control

Tilley October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

"I've been in business for 25 years"?! OH RILLLY MITTENS? Doing WHAT?! Come ON Barry! Quit being so fucking POLITE!!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Oh, governors do GREAT when the fed gives them cash!

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

this is bad folks.

please tell me i'm wrong.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

It's bad. Mitt's walking away with, even though he's a lying sack of shit.

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I missed the first 1/2 hour, I'm trying to get the buzz on this. Holy crap, everyone here thinks Prez is losing? What is going on? I can't believe it.

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Mittens doesn't understand about taking a company overseas???? How many companies has he broken up AND TAKEN OVERSEAS??????

WordSaladNation October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I'm sorry, guys, but I'm done. This is just too depressing. I hope that, when I come back tomorrow, I'll see all of your comments point in a "Hey! Obama really pulled his shit together!" direction. I'm not seeing that now. It's time to curl up in bed with a good book and pull the covers over my head, thereby hyperventilating.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Obama's not killing it like he should be, but he's far from losing this thing. You probably do need to retire for the night to get a clearer head.

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Who cares-is anyone going to change their minds because of the debate? But I would be interested in any book suggestions!

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Here's the thing: Obama starts off well. And then Mitt starts interrupting and butting in and babbling in his sociopath CEO way, and Lehrer doesn't do a damned fucking thing, and Obama can't respond fast enough, because like an actual intelligent human being he stops and thinks before talking and you just can't do that in this sort of format.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Have you been watching the same debate? Mitt has proven himself to be a total asshole who even admitted that he hate Big Bird.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Manage your poor as you think best = not caring for them at all.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Mitt will transfer the responsibility to the States but not give them the bucks. Most States won't be able to afford it

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

That too.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I think my racisometer just started beeping.

Dudleydidwrong October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Tampa Bay 4 – Orioles 0 in the 8th. When they're finished with the umpire at the ball game ship him out to Denver post haste. "Lehrer: to the showers!"

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

"laboratories of Democracy"?

salt_bagel October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

And lo, Romney said, "Manage your poor the way you see best."

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Government only picks the losers? Yeah, like that awful GM. Boy, man, I remember when that company crashed and burned and sent unemployment rocketing up to 30 percent.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Someone pull Romney's plug, already. He's grating on my ears something most vicious.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

New Jersey: The Laboratory of Democracy

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Is anyone else just gonig "Argh!"?

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Rrrrraaammblin' Rrrromney.

Jesus.

Steverino247 October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Is Obama playing rope-a-dope with Mittens? Letting him punch himself out then BAM!

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Man, I hope so.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Mitt doesn't give a shit. He's moving to Kolob.

iburl October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I have to say the http://www.democracynow.org coverage really puts things in perspective. Barack and Mitt are arguing over the scraps. Rocky Anderson and Jill Stein both have bigger ideas on the economy.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I had a friend who said picking winners losers – stocks – blah blah yes lovey, pass me the champagne.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Ooh, ooh, do famous realist painters for $200!

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

What is "Hitler"?

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

You know who else said his opponents were Communists?

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Nixon was a painter?

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Specialized in white wash.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Chaing Kai-Shek?

PennyDreadful October 4, 2012 at 2:00 am

Now, there's a name I haven't heard in a while.

trampndirtdown October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Gohmert?

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 1:01 am

Anyone other than Jon McNaughton.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Jim Lehrer's performance here may very well be the worst debate moderation I have ever seen. Ever.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Barry, just call him out on his magic underwear whole fucking goddamn existence.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Waiting for Romney to speak in a complete paragraph. Or a complete sentence.

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Do you see a major difference between you two on Social Security?

Yes, Mitt wants to take the "security" part out.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

And then the "social" part.

Sassomatic October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Romney just told Jim Leher he's going to cut at least one American job.

OzoneTom October 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Gov Romney got to talk first and last in that segment.

Plus, mention of "solyndra " deserves a drink.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I love Jim, but he's lost control

sudsmckenzie October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Tomorrow Mitt will post -baptize Big Bird.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

It looks like Obama really wants to punch Mitt now.
He is trying hard to hold it back.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

He needs to do it (with words).

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

His 'pretend' grandparents. Not the communist ones.

wsbloodystump October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

"I have no idea what you are talking about"–DONE

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Holy shit, Mitt brings up the boozer Tommy Thompson for chrissakes? That should be an automatic DQ right there.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Come on, Barry, we know about your family. What I want to know is why your foot isn't connecting with Mitt's ass, rhetorically, of course…

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Romney will demand equal time to tell us how shitty Ann's fucking tuna pasta tasted.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Granny Dunham — Fuck you son of a auto industry magnate.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Mitt talks fast so he can jam in more lying shit in his 2 minutes.

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I just gave a shout out to you on Twitter for your comment. Excellent! Thank you.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Okay. My dude just hit his stride. I think he's bringin' out the shiv, now.

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:42 pm

The hills… the mountains…

Talk about your purple mountains majesty.

Just fantastic…….. Green fields. Purple mountains.

And the roads – black – cutting through the green. All the colors… the trees…

Pennsylvania is nice too.

One_Man_Band October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Goddammit – has Bamz learned nothing from Karl Rove? ATTACK, DON'T DEFEND.

Jennyjen798 October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Ugh, Romney just gets to ramble on willy nilly in what resembles a meth induced rant and Barry is acting and looking super oldz. Come on Bamz, get on this shit!

VinnyThePooh October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Obama won this debate because Willard was just a yammering idiot.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Romney must be wondering "When do we get to talk about how I hate China?"

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

i think romney's doing just fine. as i am not watching tv, please tell me the radio is wrong.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Actually, both are doing fine. Romney is speaking fast, and he needs more than a tie. Obama is his normal cool self.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

China must have fucked him good on a couple of deals.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Romney doesn't like Simpson-Bowles because he has his OWN plan to rape your poor asses.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I'm 58 and I'm listening like a desperate motherfucker.

Humberto_Echo October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Mitt looks like he has lost some weight. Is he back on the instant coffee?

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Mitt just dissed Ryan's budget plan – someone's getting the cold should tonight…

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

If you're 60 or around 60 or older, you don't need to be listening. You're probably going to die soon if you're not wealthy anyway.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

And if you listen you might think I'm an asshole, SO PLEASE STOP LISTENING!

finallyhappy October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Oh good I'm just 59

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Romney just interrupted himself! Do the other two guys need to be at this meeting?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

yeah.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

People over 60, don't listen. Just throw your kids under the bus.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:43 pm

FUNCTION_MITTBOT_SWEAT_ROUTINE_ACTIVATED

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Any CURRENT retirees, you hear that young people? You ARE FUCKED. OH wait, I meant, Obama is trying to fuck you through streamlining Medicare, but NOT ME. I LOVE ENTITLEMENTS.
I hate Mitt Romney. I hate him.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

What programs, Mitt? How about specifics.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

$716 Billion- drink!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Cool, Romney is now defending insurance companies and corporate hospitals.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Barack is smiling. WTF does he know that Mitt don't?

Oh, wait. Right. Everything.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Srsly? Obama somehow fucked up Medicare?

HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE DO THAT MITT.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Dear Mr. President,

Draw blood.

Thanks,
AlterNewt

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Oh boy, the Medicare lie. Barry bet hit this shit out of the park on his response.

Moniker Lewinsky October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I don't know what bums me out more…. Hussein's performance, or the impending celebratory screeching from the right that's flowing down the pipe.

VinnyThePooh October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Just pull the plug on Grandma. And Mitt's mic.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Oh my imaginary god, Mitt is repeating the completely discredited $700,000 Medicarcuts lie? What the fuck?

susiepop October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Why oh why won't my president say "Bain Capital"? Two little words. Bain. Capital.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Get 'em Obama, get 'em. On this $716 billion bullshit.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Why won't these two just fuck?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Ah the angry fuck.

glamourdammerung October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Why won't these two just fuck?

Have you seen the demanded punishment for "race-mixing" in Bishop Romney's faith?

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Bamz doesn't look good when he looks pissed off. We need more of that million-watt smile.

AddHomonym October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Here comes the Paul Ryan zinger, let's hope.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Governor, you sure sound a lot like President Bush. Whassup with that?

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I am writing Obama's closing statement: My fellow Americans, do you want to look at this twitchy bitch for the next four years? No. I rest my case.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

[mic drop]

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Obama has that "you amuse me, my American friend" grin now.

ph7 October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Mitt McDuck's' ability to remember numbers is impressive.

YasserArraFeck October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

he has a separate numerics subroutine

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Barack is smiling. WTF does he know that Mitt don't?

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Groupon.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

And Mittens is incredulous that Obama doesn't support destroying Medicare. Strange.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Is Romney asking Obama about Romney's plan??????????

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oh good, we're only going to fuck people younger than 55! Shit I'm 52.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oh jesus, Mitt's telling those 60 and over they don't have to listen any more.

VinnyThePooh October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

"Interrupt me again, dickhead. I fuckin' dare you."

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

"Congressman Ryan" = Drink (if you have anything left. Do no use rubbing alcohol!)

BoroPrimorac October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Mitt making old people look away right before talking about Obama's cuts is fucking genius.

Zango Crudmonger October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

C'mon Bamz, break out a fucking bat and smack the cocktards' policies. Offense!!

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

God, Mitt is so creepy when he's listening. His magnanimous face is disturbing.

smashaduck October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

The good news, if you're over 55, you won't have to do anal to pay for your pills. But pucker up, bitch!

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

A year from now, Mitt Romney's title will still be Governor.

Biff October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

I think that's a lump of clean coal on (R)Money's flag pin.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Mitt's plan is to jam in so many new numbers and lies so Obama doesn't know how to reply.
But O seems to be ignoring that and sticking to the script.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

CHUCKLE!! DRINK!!!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I got melted chocolate all over my keyboard. Drink?

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

That's not chocolate.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Vouchercare, Def.:

It's OK, Old People! WE won't harm your Medicare, but we're really going to fuck with your Kid's medicare – if it survives!

Wadda you care? You'll be dead! HAHAHAHAHA

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

AARP supports Barry, suck it Mitt

VinnyThePooh October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I'm waiting for a Colorado hiking boot to hit Mitt right in his mouth.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Mitt makes a huffing sound like a hyena trying to keep quiet after smelling a lion. Is that supposed to be a laugh?

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Hey lehrer switch from the math portion of this SAT word salad numbers bullshit and move into some social issues that truly separate the two.

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Ok Olds – listen the fuck up.

The Romneybot is going to take your Medicare and shove it down your toilet that has the little chair built on top. Then Ryan is going to give you a coupon to take out on the town to see if any doctors will take it without laughing your old ass back out on to the bus.

I, President Bammerz, won't change a God Damn thing.

Thank you and good night.

schvitzatura October 4, 2012 at 12:34 am

Can we at least get a courtesy flush here? Geez!

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Single Payer Now!

BathroomGoblin October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

This is killing me.

AddHomonym October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

No kidding.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Hang in there.

Theywontlisten October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

maybe a beer will keep me from trying to punch that smirk off of shit romney's face and fuck up my tv

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Come on, Barry. Call Mitt on the Medicare lie, directly.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Why won't he??!?

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

The $700 billion lie is so blatant that it's crying to be addressed.

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

The Rmoney smirk. Again.

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Lying mother fucker Rmoney

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Mitt has to stop smiling like an idiot or I am changing the channel!

Biff October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

It is on every channel.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:47 pm

The young and cynical. Like my boys.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Jim, tell Mitt "Answer the goddamn question, Robot!"

smashaduck October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Do you think Ann has a safe word specified in the prenup to make him shut the fuck up?

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I want me some of those low insurance plans.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

They will be in China.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

OK, repeat the lie slowly Mitt, so we can all truly understand what a lying fuckwit you are. Jump on this Barry!

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Ryan supported taking $716 Bil out of the program too, you lying bastard!

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Oh shit, I should I have stayed on the ellipitical

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Notice how Willard never actually responds to anything Obama says about his own policies.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Mitt's delusional on Medicare

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

YOUR VP VOTED FOR THE SAME $716 BILLION IN CUTS, YOU FUCK! AND THEY ARE NOT CUTS THAT AFFECT BENEFITS!

Need more medical marijuana.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I LIKE TO FIRE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Mitt, that's because you can actually AFFORD health care.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

"I'd rather have a private plan." NO SHIT, WILLARD.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

He blew a dog whistle there. Doesn't want the government making his health decisions.

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Oh yeah Mitt can fire people. His favorite.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

For example my wife Ann shouldn't get shit from Medicare.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Mitts eyes are shiny.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Mitt's plans are all magical.

BlueStateLibel October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Rmoney is coming off like a fast-talking salesman trying to do a deal, slick and slimey. Obama looks and sounds like POTUS.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

And because the typical American slob is a fucking moron, this is bad news. Because these are the idiots who "would be stupid NOT to get the extended warranty!".

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

i want to believe this. this is not what i'm hearing (on the radio only – no tv).

i'm hearing in romney in charge and no one fucking stopping him.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

They say if you watch a debate without the sound you will know who the winner is. I hope that's better than what I'm listening to.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

"I'd rather have a private plan". Fuck you Mitt.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Mitt just said he would cut Medicare.

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Jim Lehrer pulls up to a MacDonalds window.

JL: "Hello, I want to order…"
Scratchy Voice: "To hell with you, bitch; I decided what you want to order!!!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

ALL insurance companies love providing for aging, often sick people about to run up tens of thousands in final bills.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Mitt would LIKE to have a private plan? Fucker, you HAVE a private plan, because you can afford one. What about those Americans, let's say 47% of the people, can't afford a private plan, then what do that do? Mitt: "Fuck 'em."

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Astonishing that Repubicans are always complaining about government waste then complain when someone cuts, say, $716B in wasteful government spending.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Competition into the Medicare world, really? How the fuck can you suggest that when the free market is the fucking problem.

cognachas4paws October 3, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I wish I could slap that smirk right off of Romney's face.

glamourdammerung October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

I wish I could slap that smirk right off of Romney's face.

I am still not entirely sure how/why no one did just that after his smirking over the deaths of our people in Libya.

DrinkYerBourbon October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

We can just print the money!

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Quote from my wife: "So this means we are going to pay through the nose." Her incisiveness is one reason I married her.

Barbara_ October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

"If I don't like them, I can just get another insurance company" (on the issue of Medicare) Yes Mitt, insurance companies are so welcoming to old people and people with pre existing medical conditions.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Smirk-scribble
Smirk-scribble

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

"I'd Rather Have An Insurance Company"!? "So I can FIRE them if I don't Like Them"!?

What fucking Planet are you living on, Romney?

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

SHUT UP! I HAVE AN EMMY!!!

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Oh for fuck's sake. I HATE mittens with the heat of a thousand burning white hot suns.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Mitt, Jim is older than you.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Romney: Profits and overheads will save money for medicare.

VinnyThePooh October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Romney looks like he climaxes every time he hears the word money.

RoseOsanantone October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Jim! SHUT THE MIKE DOWN!! Mitten's isn't following the rules!

DemonicRage October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Why is President Obama letting Romney get away with this accusation that he (Obama) has pulled 716 million (billion) dollars out of current Medicare by lowering fees paid to doctors and hospitals? Why is this going unchallenged?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

9:40 PM — Obama doesn’t get why Exxon Mobil gets tax breaks. (The answer is because they’re Exxon Mobil.) He also met a poor lady in Las Vegas, who does not get any tax breaks. An autistic kid, a hobo, a cooper, a barnsmith, a crackhead! President Obama meets a lot of fuck-ups on the trail.

I see a modern Canterbury Tales. Or at least Wizard of Oz.

susiepop October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Also too, Mittens looks a little rosy around the beak. Does him have a cold? Did him forget to brown up for this?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Mitt is regular … great.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

You can tell Mitt is a businessman because nobody can interrupt him and he has to dominate the conversation. Also because he's a dick.

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

this is SO pissing me off. i hope it's hoping reading badly on tv tho i fear it isn't.

Redgyal October 4, 2012 at 7:03 am

You mean like people thinking that he was right to talk over a blah person?

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

That should play well for him during delicate foreign policy discussions in the alternate universe in which he is elected president.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Romney is totally running roughshod over the mod and getting away with it.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

And looking like a fucking idiot.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

That's the only thing that keeps me from popping a blood vessel. I suspect that's why Barack's letting him do it. He looks like a total asshole.

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 10:39 pm

yes.

EdFlintstone October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

I feel all the Mittmentum of an Osmonds reunion concet.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Why is Jim Lehrer so ineffectual?

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

It's like he's not even familiar with a 'gosub…return'

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Age.

Katydid October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

He's Zombie Jim Lehrer, didn't you read that he died 7 years ago?

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Mr. wishy washy Mittens, yes, no, maybe, take a stand on something!

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

So Romney is all for regulation now? SHUT UP YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT YOU KNOW YOU FUCKING HATE REGULATION.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Everything out of his mouth is a lie. So far, anyway. My sound just cut out.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm

It makes bankers unhappy!

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Romney complaining about regulation. He also does't like Lehrer regulating the debate.

subsum October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

"You can't have a free market work without regulation…" This fucker flip flops more than Snookie's boobs. He's said millions of times that regulation is bad but, tonight, hes saying what he thinks the audience wants to hear. Fucking hypocrite.

slithytoves October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Lehrer fail.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I have my own regulation plan, of course.

MilwaukeeKent October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

The Democrats have dropped the ball since the beginning of the healthcare debate on the idea that competition or choice exists as to healthcare insurers — for the vast majority, the choice is only your employers. They choose Aetna, Aetna is what you get. And, dammit, no one — not one person — has ever asked why healthcare is 18% of our economy — countries that get better results come at 9% or less.

mavenmaven October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

this is really painful to watch. Romney just lies and lies and talks and lies and keeps on going like the energizer bunny.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Mitt is on meth

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Maybe that was his diet Coke on the table!

Jennyjen798 October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

That's what I said a few pages back. He's straight running his mouth at 90 miles an hour.

slithytoves October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

You think? Smells of desperation.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I don't know. He does have pretty nice teeth.

rocktonsam October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

My bank is a garage now dickface

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Hey, is just me, or is Jim Lerher starting to get mad?

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

God I hope so.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Well, you know, "Jim Lerher mad".

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

JIM LERHER SMASH ELECSUN

Doktor Zoom October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Volcker Rule, biotchez!!!

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Jimmy! Welcome! Where the hell have you been all this time?

DrinkYerBourbon October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

….damn his teeth are so white.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

FINALLY, Jim. FINA-fucking-LLY.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Wait, how is any regulation bad for the economy? The big problem is that there has been way, way, way too little regulation, which allowed the financial industry to fuck the economy for all of us.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Yeah, and that pesky environmental regs related to clean water and air. Who needs those?

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I have never been so un-undecided in my life.

bringmeanaxe October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Did Romney just say 'Yo Mama'?? Oh, sorry, it was 'Obama'. My bad.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Jim did not let Mitt get his way: Let's not.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Dodd-Frank was a kiss? Is that some kind of non-heterosexual reference?

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

WTF kind of Free Market shit is this? You need Regulation??!?

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Call him on his lies Barry…take off the fucking gloves and show some passion, energy, anger like you expressed in the 2007 "bombshell" video….great speech by the way. Rev Wright is a great man and Semper Fi

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

As one of the olds, I'm having nightmares thinking about a Mittycare plan in my (doomed) future; Beavis said long ago, "The future SUCKS!"

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

This debate is just bizzare. The president is relying on the kindness of the moderator to get a word in edge-wise. This is either the smartest tactic either to let Mitt walk all over himself, or it makes the president look docile and at the mercy of his opponent.

I'm honestly not sure how this is going to play out in the media.

EDIT: Damnit! Stop agreeing with your opponent, Barry. Even sarcastically.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Obama strategy: Don't complain about getting less time, give Governor Romney enough rope!

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Tough reforms on Wall Street, oh no Mittens has to be pissed at the thought, may even include disclosure of his overseas accounts.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Holy shit I need to go out for a smoke.. . thank allah for my DVR.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Grandpa Simpson should moderate the next debate.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Romney interruptus is now an official medical condition.

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Fucking Mittens rude fucking bullshitting assfuck douchebag, typical loudmouth bowl-you-over obnoxious fucker. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

please tell me he's looking like an asshole.

he's sounding like an asshole.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

He's treating the POTUS like a schoolboy, trying to look presidential. Undecideds will eat this shit up, because if they're still undecided it's because they're looking for superficials.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

looks like an asshole
talks like an asshole

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

He's so much worse on TV.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Obama, do not let this fucker cut you off. Finger in his face, stern look: "I'm not finished."

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

You mean like Glass-Steagal?

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Fuck you, Jim Lehrer! Don't let Romney interrupt like this!

DemmeFatale October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I kind of want Mitt to look a little scary, so it fires up the Obama people.
(Long-ish view, people!)

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

You don't know what a mortgage is! Your 'people' take care of that stuff!

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

JIm Lehrer sucks at this as much as David Gregory.

Apparently we just let fucking Romney cut in and blather his bullshit whenever he wants.

FlyOverGirl October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Both cats have tried to stick their heads into my wine glass. No wonder.

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm

"Governor Romney is your candidate!"

I'm gonna have a drink on that one.

miss_grundy October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

When will Lehrer throw a gavel at Romney's face. And why is Bammerz being so fracking polite? Kick him in the teeth already, Bammerz!!!!

Biff October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

POORZ BROKE TEH ECONOMY!

Recessappt October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

The last time I thought about a "regional bank" it was when they robbed it in Raising Arizona

iburl October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Twitter crashed, is this thread next?

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

God, you idiot; the problem in this country is way too little regulation; there is no such animal as too little regulation here.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

That's not YOUR experience!

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

C'mon, Barry, you're the PotUS and you just let some guy interrupt you who believes we were born on another planeti.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Romney – let the car companies fail – is worried about bizzness. What about that cleansing fire. dipshit?

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I live right near Appleton! He lies! No one said that here.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Ah, so Romney is now going to thread the needle of Socialized Medicine is great for Massachusetts but not for anyone else.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Single payer insurance is the only way to control exploding healthcare costs. But it costs insurers, pharmacy companies, and other huge medical businesses money.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Death panels! Drink!

Self-Uploader October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

So is Romney about to come out for single payer?

Doktor Zoom October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Death panels!!!

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Death panel dog whistle

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Why do all these poor people keep coming up to Romney bitching about what they can't afford. Didn't they see the 47% video? He doesn't fucking care about you so quit whining about your cancer or whatever.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I have to say that, although Mitt seems like he's running away with the debate, he's just spewed out a whole lot of total bullshit that will be ripped apart in the post debate analysis. Also, he really comes off like a business salesman and not in a good way – if there is one.

And only one of the people on stage is acting Presidential.

And…I am so very disappointed in Jim Lerher right now.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

But Joe Fucktard doesn't pay attention whatsoever to post-debate analysis.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I saw an analysis (have to look for it) that stated that most of the Presidential Debates didn't change the election one way of the other. I think the Reagan-Carter Debate would be the one that puts that study away.

I do think, though , that most people have made up their minds already and, if not, just what in the hell are you waiting for?

proudgrampa October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Really, CR??? Mitt seems like he's just barely treading water…

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

i'll say this again, that's not what it sounds like on the radio. romney's walking away with it from what i can here.

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

i'll say this again, that's not what it sounds like on the radio. romney's walking away with it from what i can hear.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I think Mitt's got his Debate prep well done and he's talking a lot and making lots of points. The fact that the points he's making are utter nonsense is obvious to anyone who's been paying attention over the years. Maybe it's just me, but I think Obama's strategy is letting him run on and on, biding his time to sink in a few well-placed swords.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Willy Loman Libel.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

ISWYDT

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Mitt Romney looks like he has the flu. He really looks like shit. Could the Telemundo make-up artist not be persuaded to do their thing again? He looks like Nixon when he decided make up was for gays and Kennedy kicked his ass. Mitt looks grosser than I have ever seen him. He sucks AND he's ugly.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I'd like to give Mitt a transvaginal ultrasound.

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Mitt just resurrected Death Panels!!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Yes, I'd rather pay my employees overtime rather than worry about healthcare for a new worker.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

The cost of health care always goes up, not because of ACA.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Mitt is bringing up the specter of Palin's death panels

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Mitt: "Obamacare? Fuck that! Let the poorz die!"

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

So, an unelected board making decisions on medical necessity is bad. But it is great when insurance companies do it.

rocktonsam October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

"my state" which state is that Dickface?

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

State-of-the-art robotics?

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

GODDAM THAT $716 BILLION BULLSHIT
Its in their plan too.

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

ok this is sounding better.

bamz you need to get back in the game. you got 30 minutes.

susiepop October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

COME ON FOR GODS SAKE GET BACK IN THIS GAME

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Be strong, you.

viennawoods13 October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I just hate that shit-eating smirk on Romney's face while Obama is talking.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Mitt is a condescending bitch.

cognachas4paws October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Oh yes, let's repeal ObamaCare(s) and go back to the way it was, where our healthcare costs are over $7K per capita and Americans die two years earlier than those in the UK and three years earlier than Canadians. Best care anywhere? Not if you're poor.

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

The first death panel was created on the same day as the first HMO. Coincidence? I think not.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Wait, Romney has a problem with unelected board determing what treatment people have? THEN WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FOR-PROFIT COMPANIES MAKING DECISIONS ON HEALTH CARE?!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

THAT'S a death panel!

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Mitt has donned his corpse smile. Mr. Sardonicus anyone?

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Both of you, it's not just small businesses, it's the people who WORK for, not own, the small businesses as well.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

OH MY GOD, WILLARD, OBAMA'S HEALTHCARE PLAN IS WORD FOR WORD, EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOURS. GET THAT FUCKING STRAIGHT!!!!

Self-Uploader October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Mittbott can't hide his lying eyes.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

There are not enough vodka tonics in the world tonight.

mille derps October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

"Expensive things hurt families."

So the car elevators are responsible for Romney's sons being liars?

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

He keeps lying about the $716 being taken from Medicare. Hasn't that been refuted, like, several hundred times? Granted, he's preaching to the choir who believes in Kenyan-born Manchurian Candidates.

Doktor Zoom October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I am not enjoying this nearly as much as I was hoping I would. I'm too busy raging.

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

I'm doing this sober. My immediate environment is not pretty.

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

you and me both man. i just shrieked upstairs (and i CAN shriek) 'why the fuck is romney talking so much'.

well. if this is a fail we still have a month.

Katydid October 3, 2012 at 9:59 pm

He's got a plan, people. Ssshhhh….you cannot know what it is. You isn't rich enough.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Go to the quiet room.

Pres.Beeblebrox October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Bams needs to stop treating this like a fucking oral argument in court and start getting some skin in the game. In other words, less Spock, more Kirk.

>mfw the pundits declare Data the "winner" of this debate tomorrow morning/later tonight

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I hate to say this but Prez needs more warmth, I agree. He needs to "feel the pain" stuff that Clinton does. He is coming off as colder than live wire juiced up Mittens. That is sad sad sad. Jeebus if Romney wins this election over these debates I'm moving to Canada, can't you just see Ryan in DC, cold making sure poors and sick people just die with no health care and whatever Nazi plans these idjets would implement.

DemmeFatale October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Cheer up. It's OK.
He may be coming off cold, but he's Presidential.
This performance will convince his supporters to get busy.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Please don't compare Data to RMoney. Data has more fucking emotion in his middle finger than RMoney has in his whole slimy body.

OzoneTom October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

My company's health care cost was increasing over 40% a year for several years until ACA became a threat. This past year there was no change in premiums and we got a 1% refund from the insurer.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

ooh "insurance companies can't jerk you around". Bamz is back!

emmachuur October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

yess! moar cussin, ftw !

Chet Kincaid_ October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

People don't want to reinflate their collapsed lungs! They want JOBS! They will wheel their own gurney to a good paying job, without the crushing burden of Obamacare!!

Crank_Tango October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Slightly OT, but why is there a pic of Gary Busey eating icecream on the front page here?

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 1:47 am

I know it's hard to believe, but Gary Busey is actually *whiter* than Mitt.
And possibly crazier.

DemonicRage October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Whoooah! "The Insurance companies won't be able to JERK YOU AROUND!" President comes just a shade away from saying jerk off on national t-v!

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Barry actually meant "Mitt you around".

DrinkYerBourbon October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

oh snap!

CheeseBro69 October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

"The irony is…."

Hipsters drink

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE

Doktor Zoom October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Heh. Romneycare.

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Hit Romney with Massachusetts care now!

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Mitt 'Craft a health plan that fits a state's needs"
bullshit Mitt, Alaska is no different from hawaii in terms of the health and welfare of all its' citizens.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Barry, you DO NOT have to relitigate your health care plan. You are not on he defense, so stop acting like it.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

He's appealing to actual people and not corporations, and doing a good job.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

He's appealing to actual people and not corporations, and doing a good job.

He's not reacting to Romney's inflammatory rhetoric.

Wait, what?

Biff October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Tell him, Hopey!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Anyone notice that Romney seems to be talking very fast? Obama is his usual lecturer cadence.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

He sounds like he snorted some coke.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Nobody pulled the plug on grannie!

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Romney doesn't want an unelected board deciding what kind of health care he can get. Obviously Romney has never dealt with an insurance company.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Lehrer would make a shitty couples therapist.

Sassomatic October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Oh yes, please please babel on desperately.

just_a_head October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

The Xanax has no power against Mittens!!! I feel the rage buildîng.

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I'm starting to hate Jim Lehrer more by the minute. No wonder Romney wants to fire his ass.

Blueb4sinrise October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I don't recall Bamz hitting McCain with a chair. Don't let your desire to see him hit Mitt with a chair color your appraisals.

Holy fuck. I must be loaded!!!!!!!!!!

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

The audience broke silence about the 5 seconds line.

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Jim sounds like a marriage counselor. Look at Barry and tell him why he makes you angry. Tell him how you feel. Look him in the eyes and tell him what you don't like down your throat. Just ew.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Yeah, Lehrer, let's try and cut Obama off, but let RMoney start and end every fucking question and talk for ten minutes straight. Will you let him do that when he cuts PBS funding and hands you your pink slip?

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

"Nancy Pelosi"- Drink!

mavenmaven October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Lehrer gives every last word to Romney, its really offensive.

HELisforHEL October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I know…wtf

susiepop October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Where the fuck is the gifted orator we elected?

bloggingbalkanistan October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Obama is a great public speaker, but I don't think he has a reputation for being a great debater.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Mitt needs a drink.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Mitt needs a drink of milk.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Jesus, Mitt's such a frat boy.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Good move Romney: Remind Massachusetts that Scott Brown voted against Obamacare. Elizabeth Warren thanks you.

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

OH SERIOUSLY ARE YOU WHINING ABOUT THERE BEING NO REPUBLICAN VOTES FOR THE ACA? Okay, now I will kill MItt Romney. With votes, of course.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Pelosi, Reid, Obama.
$716 billion ad nauseum

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Pelosi, Reid, Obama.
$716 billion ad nauseum.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

We demand more MEANINGLESS PLATITUDES!

RawhideRawlins October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Ok, ya'll can smoke now(cept for Bams and me)

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Who are you
Who who who who
Who are you
Who who who who

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

♪♫ Who are you
Who who who who
Who are you
Who who who who ♫♪

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I want to punch my tv so hard (with votes) everything Mitt says is LIES.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I think that was the coin toss– Obama got first response, Romney got last.

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

…Romney reminiscing about his Rino days…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Also, didn't Mitt veto the bill and was overridden?

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

20 million people losing insurance due to ACA? WTF?

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

All those terrible things that Obamacare causes! The poor people of Massachusetts — how they suffer.

cognachas4paws October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Romney would not have been enacted in Massachusetts without a major infusion of cash from the federal government into their Medicaid program. He seems to forget to mention that all the time.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Which is a big problem as far as how people will react viscerally. BO is saying "uh" too much. That's a problem right there.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

He always says "uh" if he is not giving a speech.

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Jim: OK Mitt you've spoken for 10 minutes.

Jim: Mr. President you now have 5 seconds.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Go Obama, it was a Repug idea. It was Romneycare.

FakaktaSouth October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Mitt's TERRIBLE at this. One thing I will say about REAL Repubs is that they sell their stupid bullshit better than Mitt. He keeps stumbling over his Republitard talking points. Oops, not medi, I mean OBAMAcare, you hear? I am using OUR words y'all.

ChuckieJesus October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

$716 billion fib again. I'd get alcohol poisoning if my poison was alcohol.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Yes. Well past his bedtime.

DrinkYerBourbon October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

To leave a whole bunch of people dead on the street.

Boojum October 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm

He sounds like a bad one.

slithytoves October 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

My cats are going batshit in my house – I'm telling you, Mitt's freakout is contagion.

BlueStateLibel October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I kid you not, but mine are too. Something about that mile-a-minute weasel voice is driving them crazy.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Seriously, cats always are batshit. But believe what you want to believe, like the Mormons.

DrinkYerBourbon October 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Time management that's crazy!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Just like how the right wants to pay teachers: based on performance.

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Waiter. Whatever Blueb is having.

Wadisay October 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

C'mon, Barry, remind them that your opponent stood there like a deer in the headlights when a crowd at the Republican debates cheered uninsured people dying.

Pres.Beeblebrox October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Illogical. That would require a showing of emotion, Captain.

Fuckin a, where's the B. Hussein Obama who wiped the floor with McCain? Looking Presidential isn't enough to take down a vulture capitalist like Money.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 10:05 pm

He's a brilliant speech maker. He's never been good off the cuff.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I have to say, I'm enjoying the "No howling villagers" rule.

just_a_head October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

The Xanax has no power against Mittens!!! I feel the rage build

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Hey kids I'm loading the hookah any takers?

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

me too. just freaked them out.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

It happens RARELY in the private marketplace.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I love it when Obama zinged RMoney for saying those 3% of bidnesses are the jawb queators and as a matter of disagreement, Romney essentially said yes, yes they are. Also on the voucher program…Obama says something negative about it, Romney agrees with what negative thing he said by lying about "competition". See RMoney, back when you were getting your first pair of magic underwear Medicare was passed because the "private marketplace" was forcing olds to live off catfood with their rates.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

This is too boring for the average undecided voter to be watching – so Obama wins by default – no minds will be changed by this exercise.

Extemporanus October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

OOPS!

Sorry, everyone…that was me.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Did you fart?

Extemporanus October 3, 2012 at 10:23 pm

In Sir Romney's general direction?

No, alas — I just tripped over his power cord, and his batteries kicked in.

(However, I did just blow a long overdue and heartfelt "Thank You" kiss in your general direction, my brave knight in rusty armor…)

Extemporanus October 3, 2012 at 10:23 pm

In Sir Romney's general direction?

No, alas — I just tripped over his power cord, and his batteries kicked in.

(However, I did just blow a long overdue and heartfelt "Thank You" kiss in your general direction, my brave knight in rusty armor…)

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Not that he'd be able to tell. I can't find your comment among the millions, so here's hoping you get this.You're very welcome! And thank you for posting that information so that all who have eyes may see and understand.Mwah, baby. In a totally not-gay sorta way, of course.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Death Panels!!1!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

NO, they try to find a way to make money in private markets.

Chow Yun Flat October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Mitt: Blah, blah, blah.

I can't take another minute of this lame fucker.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

In what universe is child coverage through the age of 26 already in the private marketplace? Is that in tha marketplace where the rich people shop? Because in the marketplace where I shop they don't have those plans.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Some of my best friends own hospitals.

Katydid October 3, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Ya know, at first I thought Bammerz, what the hell are you doing, but now Mittens looks desperate and hyper, and I realize our Prez is doing the old rope-a-dope! Yay Bammerz!!!!!

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

float like a butterfly, zing like a bee.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Yeah, it took me a minute to get it too. He's making Mitt look like a hamster on speed.

Doktor Zoom October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Private enterprise does a great job of reducing costs. They let people die.

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Mitt's chip just boosted his mic.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Gah! President Obama is the fucking Invisible Man?!?

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Romney: Government can't bring down the cost of anything.

That's why the Postal Service delivers a letter for 45 cents while at Fed Ex it only costs $10.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

…and why Medicare has a lower overhead than private insurance.

Medicare got my mother a Frickin pacemaker and ended up paying only $400 which was mostly for the ambulance. NO insurance company would do that.

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Romney wants to take all the poors and olds up in airplanes flying at 30,000 feet with the windows open, saying it would do them good to get some fresh air.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Animated GIF >>>>> actual debate.

Thanks, Ken!

BathroomGoblin October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Mitt: I can name several hospitals.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Mitt has friends who own hospitals.

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Now Romney is Ron Paul. Who the fuck are you Mittens? Kock Bros butt boy? Mittens swings wherever the wind blows.

johnnyzhivago October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Romney had a LITTLE too much Red Bull tonight.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Oh, you think so too.

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Yes, Lehrer, yes, let's let the governor talk more. By all means, let him talk more. In fact, let's just stop letting Obama talk altogether! Let's just let Mitt blather on, spewing lie after lie, over and over, without ever letting Obama rebut him! What the fuck's a debate?

Seriously, what the fuck sort of Nazi pep rally am I watching here!?

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Tell us about innovation Mitt while I swallow this $32 aspirin from my hospital bed.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

If your wealthy it works out best.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Okay, speaking as a young person, I can attest that Romney here is wrong: the private market did NOT let young people stay on their parents insurance like Obamacare does.

And again, notice how he never actually answers the question.

BornInATrailer October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Why the fuck did I rush home for this shit? Oh, right, the wine.

Self-Uploader October 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Didn't Romney recently say that the emergency room was the treatment for the poors? Will Barry please bring this up.

Debating with a lying sociopath really sucks.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Mitt really hates the board. But all the corporations have boards.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Yes, profit, profit, profit to the middleman.
The private market always works best, like the military-industrial complex.

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Now Romney is just repeating lies that he culled from rightwing blogs in 2009.

Warpde October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Mitt on the attacks.
Pres on the facts.
Who will win, who will win?
Show them balls Mr. President, show them balls.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

What the fuck was that? Romney actually tried to defend the private market, even though that sucks?

NellCote71 October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Alas, I fear it is too subtle for reality TV land.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

This is devolving into minutia.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 10:09 pm

If you propose to scrape an existing plan and replace with another that is much the same, then you'd be wasting government resource, logically speaking…

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Obama points out Mitt's lie about preexisting conditions.

Schmannnity October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Schmannity's Plan: Cut taxes, increase spending, balance budget, smoke a bowl, rinse, repeat.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

RMoney's "deficit neutral" tax cuts are entirely dependent upon "economic growth" which is not a constant or completely measurable quantity so in other words, he's lying. Of course Dubya said his tax cuts would be "deficit neutral' by increased economic growth and gee whiz, the numbers didn't bear it out because "economic growth" is a heavily DEPENDENT variable and economists always get it fucking wrong. So Romney is heavily overstating the amount of growth his tax cuts will increase which even when accounted for shows a huge deficit.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

RMoney's "deficit neutral" tax cuts are entirely dependent upon "economic growth" which is not a constant or completely measurable quantity so in other words, he's lying. Of course Dubya said his tax cuts would be "deficit neutral' by increased economic growth and gee whiz, the numbers didn't bear it out because "economic growth" is a heavily DEPENDENT variable and economists always get it fucking wrong. The fact is, in this era of bullshit labratory economic experiments being made into law (which are simple projections with heavy qualifiers lots of incorrected projections amongst supply-siders), why would ANYONE who isn't a dumb fucking wingnut think tax cuts of this size will be offset? It's fucking unbelievable. So Romney is heavily overstating the amount of growth his tax cuts will increase which even when accounted for shows a huge deficit.

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

ok best gif and thank you ken/jim/rebecca

sudsmckenzie October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Hopey's flat tonight, I hope Honey BooBoo was on.

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I want to hear the summation, this is making me sick. I need some Obamacare now!

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Mitt Romney has shitty social interaction skills. I don't like it.

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Just got back from the bar. Is this still on? I am goood and fup duck.

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Just got home from the bar. Is this still on? I am goood and fup duck.

Edit: It is! Go Bamz!!!

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Dear Mr. President,

Sorry to bother you again, but maybe try being a little less reasonable,switch tactics and

Make him bleed!

Thanks.

Your pal,

AlterNewt

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Dear Mr. President,

Sorry to bother you again, but maybe try being a little less reasonable;switch tactics and

Make him bleed!

Thanks.

Your pal,

AlterNewt

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Nope. He's gonna let Mitt go all out looking more and more frantic, and then on the 2nd or 3d debate, he's gonna kick Mitt's ass.

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 10:45 pm

I hope you're right. I would enjoy seeing Romney looking like (as you put it) a hamster on speed.

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Romney's secret plans are too good? zing

fuflans October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

oh i was wrong. bamz is saying it.

DemonicRage October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Good line: Is Romney keeping all these plans secret because they're all good?

imissopus October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Great tweet from Patton Oswalt: "'Gentlemen, PLEASE…'– Jim Lehrer, at 3:12 a.m., as Romney begins his recounting of the plot of PRACTICAL MAGIC"

subsum October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

This debate format stinks. That's all I have to say.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

"Reagan" drink!

DrinkYerBourbon October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

shot

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Reagan!!11

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Gawd, that condescending love smile, batting eyelashes Mittens gives Prez, while Prez is talking is disgusting

BathroomGoblin October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Jim Lerher's worst day.
I cringe.

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Reagangasm.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Hopey needs to say that is just bullshit.
Sayit!

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Mitt's being such a bully tonight. Jim, he's going to cut your hair, better watch yer 6!

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

I fully expect Jim Lehrer to stand up and start meandering about the stage, McCain-style, at this point. Fucking impotent clown.

deanbooth October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

"Mr. Puddles?! Come to papa Mr. Puddles!"

Schmannnity October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Jim Lehrer, you spineless pussy.

glasspusher October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

You mean "appearing unbiased"

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

a spineless pussy is the best kind. and a spineless cock is the worst kind.

redarmyzombie October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

And there we go, everyone. Ronald Reagen, how did I know he was going to say that?

Terry October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Romney is giving Reagan a metaphorical b.j. Right now

viennawoods13 October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

FUCK YOU!! How dare you talk about president working with Congress, when Congress sat down and REFUSED to work with Obama!! FUCK YOU!!

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

+10000

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Why I know, it will be Magic, just like on Kolob
.

Trannysurprise October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Jim Lehrer is getting run the fuck over by Romney. He's like a little brat in school that MUST have the last word.

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

That's how he got where he is today. He's important, you're not.

MuddyMaeSuggins October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw – he lets this bullshit interrupt again! WTF Lehrer?

One_Man_Band October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

What the fuck, Hopey. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Quit with the reasonable explaining and act like you actually give a shit about something.

Nothingisamiss October 3, 2012 at 10:18 pm

EXACTLY.

mavenmaven October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Lehrer did it again, let Romney go on after Obama's comment. Really out of control.

One_Man_Band October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

New rules: Romney gets the first and last word on every exchange.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

He did not really reply to O, but opened up another subject.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Mitt sure sounds like an insurance salesman. He has a plan for everything.

Jennyjen798 October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

OH HEY I'M JUST GOING TO TALK ALL OVER YOU GUYS! AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'LL JUST START MY OWN LIVE BLOGGING RIGHT HERE ON WONKETTE BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT?! MODERATORS NEED NOT APPLY!

AbandonHope_ October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

NO NO YOU'RE WRONG NO WAIT IF I COULD JUST ANSWER NO WAIT I HAVE TO ADDRESS THAT NO SHUT UP

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

"Look, let's be honest for a minute. 47% of the people, I don't give a fuck what happens to them. I just want this job 'cause I gots me some plans…"

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Jim, make Mitt SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 10:12 pm

There is Milton Friedman and the free market Fairy argument.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Tenth amendment! Shout out to Southern Racists!

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Obama's gonna have to cut a bitch in the next debate. The few undecideds left don't listen to the numbers, they look at the style, and the president needs to get WAY more aggressive.

As it stands, Obama is letting that amoral asshole look like an equal, and HE IS NOT. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Matthius_Phelan October 3, 2012 at 10:28 pm

I think the way Obama smirks when Romney says total bullshit is kind of an opening salvo in a "No More Mr. Nice Guy" routine. There ARE some people who only watch the debates and then vote, Jim Lehrer for instance.

Matthius_Phelan October 3, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Those people DEMAND a three act structure!!!!

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 11:05 pm

You've watched him do this before! He likes to start soft and slow and hit when the other person's not expecting it.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Obama's gonna have to cut a bitch in the next election. The few undecideds left don't listen to the numbers, they look at the style, and the president needs to get WAY more aggressive.

As it stands, Obama is letting that amoral asshole look like an equal, and HE IS NOT.

MegPasadena October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Broaden the base means making the very poor to pay income taxes, too.

MittBorg October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

And whisking aside the 10th Amendment, says that lying smiling villain.

SorosBot October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

TENTH AMENDMENT! It's another dogwhistle for racists; drink!

Katydid October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

OK, so like I said, either Bammerz is doing the rope-a-dope, or he really reallly really doesn't want to be Preznit anymore. I think he's really not that into us anymore. :(

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Mitt must really want to open a dialog with Tweety with all his Tip O'Neill crap.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Never mind Grandpa Simpson, Aunt Bee from Mayberry would be a better moderator.

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Never mind Grandpa Simpson, Aunt Bea from Mayberry would be a better moderator.

Schmannnity October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

States' Rights Romney!! Yeehaw!!!!

JustPixelz October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

hey I just noticed Ken Layne is in the byline. Hi Ken! Obviously you were lured by the drinking game aspect of this gig. Wonkette is paying for the booze, right?

deanbooth October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I hope the animated gif makes the page load faster!

Also, too, you need to cheer me up, Wonketteers. I don't care if you have to create your own reality.

Nothingisamiss October 3, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Srsly. This is why freepers make their own reality. I am fuckiong dying over here.

glasspusher October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Needz moar gunz

BlueStateLibel October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Romney's like a sprinter, he's starting to falter now as they hit the far turn and/or the coke is wearing off/batteries getting low.

glasspusher October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I think I could make a battery using Coke and a piece of aluminum and copper…

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Or Floyd.

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Rommy has to take a shit right? Thought I saw him straining.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Oval Office = BIN LADEN DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

Sassomatic October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Nobody understands the economy. Divisive social issues please.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

"Freedom" Drink!

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

LET ME FINISH! LET ME FINISH!

Mitt is channeling Oily Taint.

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 2:08 am

Or Ross Perot.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

.they're sitting in a library not drinking!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

And that includes whupping the shit out of rebels!

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Why is Lehrer so damned obsessed with pointing out the differences between the two. WE KNOW THEY'RE DIFFERENT.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I'll see your Ronald Reagan and raise you Abe Lincoln

Doktor Zoom October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Are you going to slag Lincoln, Mitt? Are you?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

So far Obama has cited Clinton and Lincoln. Romney Reagan. When will he go to Coolidge?

EdFlintstone October 3, 2012 at 10:14 pm

So Mitt practiced weeks on how not to deliver a zinger.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Gee, I can't wait for the next debate.

Radiotherapy October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Cut a bitch!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

It's the Richard Cohen effect of getting old.

Jukesgrrl October 4, 2012 at 12:27 am

Oh.I do see a likeness.

larrykat October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Benghazi Bhenghazi! Cue Mitt.

coolhandnuke October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

The Role of Government: keep the Tea baggers from fucking it up.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 3, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Lincoln was a well known Socialist, big on Federal Control, and race mixer. Clearly a Democrat.

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Why I know, it will be Magic, just like on Kolob

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Mitt is too disrespectful of those in the room now to be an effective head of state vis a vis other world leaders. He's demonstrated a complete disregard for the civility productive diplomacy demands. No need to go out rude and hard from the start – you should know when to do so (Barry, I'm looking at you…).

glasspusher October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

The zinger is we were waiting for zingers that never happened

Terry October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Or Hoover would be fabulous

viennawoods13 October 3, 2012 at 10:19 pm

No no! Warren G Harding! Big fan of private enterprise!

Recessappt October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Robert MacNeil called and explains this is why Lehrer was the bottom of the ticket

AlterNewt October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Who can afford to go to Coolidge these days?

C_R_Eature October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Massachusetts is going to vote for Obama, Mitt. Hate to break it to you.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

"Every state should make that decision on their own" to have great teachers? huh?

Beowoof October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Too bad you never read and studied the constitution you douche bag.

Sharkey October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Hit 'em with yer dentures!

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Hey you politicians! Get off my stage!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Creator! Drink!

chascates October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

And I pledge to bomb the brownz. And I won't suck up to the Muslins.

Terry October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Mitt, Mass's schools aren't ranked first in the nation. Sorry.

MuddyMaeSuggins October 3, 2012 at 10:24 pm

But why let facts get in the way of such a great string of lies, lies, lies

AddHomonym October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

He's gonna sing!!!!

Serfville October 3, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Yeah, I was waiting for God Bless America any minute now, wait for it……

smokefilledroommate October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Mitt was in France during Vietnam.

Come here a minute October 3, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Also an asshole.

IndianaKevin October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Great schools and great teachers are great.

FraAnima October 3, 2012 at 10:21 pm

All the teachers are just the right height.

Mittaplasia October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Our Creator? Would that be IBM, Mitt?

Jerri October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

The role of government: Ding, freedom. Dong opportunity.

MuddyMaeSuggins October 3, 2012 at 10:25 pm

USA AOK

tessiee October 4, 2012 at 2:12 am

Ding, excellent schoo–
Naw, that's not gonna work.

BaldarTFlagass October 3, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I'm sure Mass has best schools despite you, not because of you, Mitt.

BarryOPotter October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Where did Mitt learn about what it takes to run the military, 1960s Paris? Fuck that and him.

DrinkYerBourbon October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Help me I'm poor.

Blendergoathead October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Oh shit, Obama just dropped the first hint of "commander-in-chief;" Lehrer's eyes glistened in their black, oily way and Romney quivered. Foreign policy question coming up soon…

Jukesgrrl October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I feel like I'm going to throw up. The president better have a big lead in the swing states because he's losing this debate.

BerkeleyBear October 3, 2012 at 10:20 pm

I must be watching through a different lens – Romney isn't landing shit, so it is not a game changer like he needs. Obama nailed him on his lack of details, over and over, too – which has worked to date.

Jukesgrrl October 4, 2012 at 12:27 am

He didn't land a punch if you know the facts, but how many people watching in TV land know the facts?I sure hope you're right.

Nothingisamiss October 3, 2012 at 10:20 pm

I, too, am sick.

viennawoods13 October 3, 2012 at 10:21 pm