two dudes sexting about two dudes debating

Ultimate Lectern Fighting 2012: Liveblogging Mitt & Barack’s First Debate

The President vs. the Twit.
Good evening, America! There is a slight chill in the air tonight, a vague hint that the roasting forever summer is finally slipping away, that not even the industrialist villains have managed to completely prevent autumn from its tardy arrival. The chill, of course, is the Earth’s response to the cold dead vacuum of Mitt Romney speaking to the nation, via the prime-time television broadcasts known as the First Presidential Debate of 2012. Your old and unfaithful friends Newell and Layne have been brought out of the gun locker for tonight’s festivities, and we are ready to share in this 90-minute national tragedy with all of you. Let us begin … even though the CNN feed isn’t working?

8:45 PM — Oh look, Mitt and his cult family are playing a child’s board game, to relax, the way “humans like to do it,” says Mitt:
You sank myyyy jangaship
8:49 PM — Black-eyed ghoul Jim Lehrer is threatening everyone in the audience. He is “being cool” by saying the popular Fonzie catch phrase from 35 years ago, “Sit On It.” Weezer must be loving this debate, so far.
8:56 PM — Jim Lehrer is cracking up the crowd by forgetting his name, and the introduction, and also why he was born with solid black eyeballs like one of those reptilian aliens from The X Files.
9:00 PM — And finally, after four years of pre-election activities known as “life in this country,” the two warriors emerge from their secret debate chambers, their cones of silence. Obama has a blue tie, many professional media people immediately notice, via Twitter. This means he has won the debate.
9:06 PM — Romney notes that it is very romantic for the Obamas to be spending their anniversary with Romney. Then he promises to “trickle down” on those annoying jobless Americans with the “baby in hand” who keep bothering him while he looks at the clouds.
9:14 PM — “I like coal.” Mitt Romney finally found something that will like him back.
9:16 PM– Blah blah the presidential candidates are saying some tax lies. They both say they will cut all taxes on “the middle class,” by which they mostly mean families making $150,000 a year. What loopholes will Mitt Romney cut to keep it Revenue-Neutral? I love America, Romney assures. Barack Obama is citing tax studies. “I’ve got five boys,” Mitt Romney says, adding that Obama lies all the time just like Mitt’s fucking brat kids used to do growing up. “You throw all these studies out there,” Mitt Romney insults the president.
9:18 PM — The website is basically broken for the rest of the night, but stick around!
9:21 PM — Jim Lehrer, who died seven years ago but came back just for this one great night for America, has lost control of the candidates. You guys are way out of time! Shut up Jim, we’re talking tax offsets!.
9:23 PM — It’s funny when Mitt makes himself laugh when he tries to say “paying more taxes.”
9:23 PM — Professor Obama is going to do some confusing magic math about 5 + 2, but in billions, so nobody in America understands this. “Math, common sense, and our history,” says the president. The first two don’t really go with the last thing.
9:30 PM — According to everyone on Twitter, this election is now over because dumbass Romney just went on national teevee and told millions of families that he will kill Big Bird.
9:34 PM — Romney is talking about Spain, where he owns thousands of castles. Soon, he will start speaking French.
9:36 PM — You can also go on the Twitter and read Newell & me complaining about the Wonkette publishing system being broken and slow, and also read Josh Fruhlinger do live sexting along with the Wonkette people @commiegirl1 and @jesseltaylor and @jesseberney … and after doing all of that, we may get another update saved and posted to the Internet.
9:33 PM — Why aren’t both of you embracing Simpson-Bowles, the Washington beltway debate moderator asks about deficit reduction plan that no one else in the country gives a shit about. Why aren’t you licking Alan Simpson’s lesion-caked bald head, Mitt Romney? Why around you sitting on Erskine Bowles’ face right now, Barack Obama?
9:39 PM — With the exception of “coal,” which he likes to pull out of the ground and sell, when Romney says he “likes” something, he will kill it.
9:40 PM — Did Romney just refer to America’s tens of millions of poor people as “your poor,” to Obama?
9:40 PM — Obama doesn’t get why Exxon Mobil gets tax breaks. (The answer is because they’re Exxon Mobil.) He also met a poor lady in Las Vegas, who does not get any tax breaks. An autistic kid, a hobo, a cooper, a barnsmith, a crackhead! President Obama meets a lot of fuck-ups on the trail.
9:42 PM — Mitt Romney says that he “likes clean energy,” don’t get him wrong, he just doesn’t see why there have to be investments into these gay sectors. Romney Zinger: You are a bad investor, Barack Obama. Oh ho ho! You can’t stock pick worth shit, “Mister President.”
9:44 PM — Mitt Romney notes that President Obama’s plan for Medicare is to eliminate all funding for it. Obama responds that Mitt Romney would like to turn Medicare into a clip ‘n’ save coupon program where the trick is that the coupons are eventually worth nothing. It would only affect “future people,” Romney clarifies. See? It wouldn’t hurt current old people at all, only everyone else who will ever live.
9:44 PM — Hahahah Romney: “If you’re 60 or older, you needn’t listen any further.” Go to sleep, old people! It’s safe to sleep now!
9:47 PM — Obama says he has become fond of the term “Obamacare.” The gasp/chortle out of Mittens’ mouth was priceless. How many painstakingly prepared “zingers” were just ruined by Obama’s embrace of the insult?
9:52 PM — Barack Obama is not doing enough to terrify the old people. “Listen, old unwealthy people,” he should say, “Romney will burn you like coal.”
9:52 PM — Mitt Romney: “Regulation is essential.” What is wrong with this communist queer? Are those queer pants you’re wearing? Oh, ok, phew, now he is adding the caveat that all regulation is destructive.
9:53 PM — May I continue? Romney asks Lehrer. “NO, YOU MAY NOT.”
9:57 PM — Tonight, we are all old people in America, falling asleep while the nice men in suits talk at us.
9:59 PM — “Expensive things hurt families.” This is why Mitt Romney wants to make sure American families can’t have any expensive things. They’ll only get hurt! This is how poor people are!
How to improve the debates.
10:05 PM — Twitter tells us that Romney is apparently winning. How do people tell this?
10:06 PM — We’re mostly listening rather than watching, and Obama sure doesn’t sound like he’s killing, but Romney has that evil death-rattle chuckle that is actually chilling, like one of those plastic Halloween gimmick candy pots with the skeleton hand that pops out and won’t let you go.
10:07 PM — Remember when Obama was running for president in 2008, and in 2007 during the debates, he had a reputation for rambling calmly about some policy anecdote for 10 minutes? Well, here he is debating for the first time this cycle! Oops! He just talked about reimbursement rates at the Cleveland clinic for 9 years, which is interesting, but… anyway, Mitt Romney says “private market,” in response, angrily.

10:22 PM — And finally, the Internet gives up and dies. But it returned just in time for Mitt to deliver a “zinger,” saying that black people aren’t entitled to their own “facts,” even if they’ve stolen a jet and a house from the American People.
10:22 PM — All of Jim Lehrer’s questions end with, “Is there any difference between you two on this?” And there always is a difference! (Well, not really. Right now they are bickering about minor tweaks to each other’s plans to screw teachers’ unions.)
10:27 PM — Romney says that the U.S. has “the best health records in the world.” It’s true! Our 173% of babies that die in childbirth and then get diabetes is a World Record.
10:28 PM — It is truly a patriotic miracle that the U.S.A. has achieved so many “health records” nvolving obesity and diabetes and hunger in a supposedly rich country. It is a virtual Winter Olympics that Mitt Romney bought one time, to show he cared.
10:30 PM — Obama finishes with a lie (“American cars are the best in the world”) but is otherwise humble and pretty convincing. Now it is Mitt’s turn to “thank you for tuning in,” because he probably owns all the television networks, and the air. Because of this, he will make 12 million jobs … watching teevee and breathing his air.
10:31 PM — Closing statements, thank god. Obama is so happy, he has this memorized! It’s his usual thing. Some anecdotes — lady in North Carolina going to college, guy in Minnesota looking for a job, kid in the ghetto looking for a sandwich, old man in Dallas retiring to start a Lego factory in outer space, robot toddler looking to buy a Taco Bell franchise, blah blah blah — they’re all struggling, but he will make them not struggle, vote for him.
10:33 PM — Thanks everybody, for joining us tonight! We apologize for the shitty tech problems … they seem to appear whenever there’s a big event and our shoddy little system gets overwhelmed. Anyway, thanks! We love you so much!
Romney Wis!

About the author

These gentlemen have been involved with many matters of National Security and are also three-time champions of yoga. You may find their individual work on this site from the "olde days" by looking at the Jim Newell page or the page of the other one. Through love, all things are possible, especially violence and hatred. Give a Hoot!

View all articles by Jim Newell and Ken Layne
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Comments

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  • Blueb4sinrise

    Wha?

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Is this thing on? *taps on whiskey bottle*

    • Come here a minute

      Time to go to the liquor cabinet and replenish inventory. *swivels chair*

    • FlyOverGirl

      Thank god my office has booze.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Alas, jumped the gun on the drinking. Forgive?

    • slithytoves

      ME too. Damn post on rape and cerebral palsy.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      You didn't share. So, no.

  • Veritas78

    What decade is this?

  • Barbara_

    It doesn't bother me that Mitt Romney doesn't drink beer, because I wouldn't want to have one with him in the first place.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I wouldn't even let him have some of my chardonnay in the fancy silver solo cup from whence I am drinking. If his head was on fire. GOBAMA! GOBAMA! or something.

      • Barbara_

        Hello, lovely lady. I hope you are wearing a flag pin with your tennis skirt. Always a pleasure to see you.

  • Veritas78

    Becca said you were both dead, and that we shouldn't ask any questions.

  • tracyhasfun

    I wonder if Romney will give his testimony.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Jim Lehrer was scaring me!

  • RawhideRawlins

    NO SMOKING!

    • ChuckieJesus

      "What are you gonna do? Arrest me for smoking?" *crosses legs*

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        You tart!

  • Come here a minute

    As the present now
    Will later be past

    (Hi Ken.)

  • SaintNixon

    Upfist upfist upfist.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Jim Lehrer sounded more robotic than Rmoney.

  • tracyhasfun

    Any thoughts on how Jim Lehrer is going to be? Will he be able to manage bullshit? I hope there is bullshit.

  • Veritas78

    While we're waiting, perhaps either of you could tell us if gingers do indeed have more-sensitive nipples, and if that had anything to do with Wonkette hiring practices.

  • finallyhappy

    Wow, no one is at the podiums but Lehrer is babbling

  • ChuckieJesus

    *smoke-filled entrance* Jesus, Mitt Romney's kid has his big Frankenstein head.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      yikes!

  • coolhandnuke

    Jenga: the only thing a Romney has ever built themselves.

    • Terry

      Actually, they're disassembling a tower piece by piece. A model for Mitt's business career

  • AbandonHope_

    Like all good liberals, my wife and I are watching the debate on commie socialist PBS.

    • Barbara_

      Watch now before Mitt defunds it.

      • AbandonHope_

        That was eerily prescient.

      • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

        Yes indeed, Romney will slash that 15 trillion deficit (mostly Bush expenses carried forward) by what, 100 million? 37 million? Whatever PBS gets. Beginning to understand why The Romns responded to a (vintage teak) boat in distress on Jet-skis. Question, where do you tie Seamus on a Jet-ski?

        • mille derps

          $26.65M for PBS support, but the CPB gets $445million in federal funding for FY2012: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporation_for_Publ

          I've seen somewhere else that fed funding accounts for approx. 15% of the budget, but not sure if that's just PBS, or PBS + NPR and/or other CPB entities?

          • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

            It's just such pandering to the base, cuts to Planned Parenthood, PBS, NPR — as if Democrats directly targeted the sheep-dipping tax-writeoff in just Idaho and western Montana. It just says, to his base, I'll stick it to your particular boogiemen real good. To everyone else, it just screams I'm a mean and cheap asshole.

          • mille derps

            Mitt is programmed to pander- no doubt about it.

        • mille derps

          $26.65M for PBS support, but the CPB gets $445million in federal funding for FY2012: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporation_for_Publ

          I've seen somewhere else that fed funding accounts for approx. 15% of the budget, but not sure if that's just PBS, or PBS + NPR and/or other CPB entities?

      • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

        I think I hate the wing nuts most when they infiltrate my car radio by intimidating NPR with their psychopathic BS.
        I hate hearing highly educated, sophisticated hosts doffing their caps, and toadying to teabaggy assholes to avoid being defunded.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Indeed.

    • tracyhasfun

      Here too, comrade.

    • cynwestover

      I love that you are watching on PBS!

    • Boojum

      I watched on MSNBC. Because, I love Rachel Maddow. No, seriously, I want a sex change so I can be a lesbian and lie in bed next to her and whisper politics. Except for the part about chopping stuff off.

      I'm a seriously fucked up human. Too much rum, I suppose.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Everybody's willing to have a sex change for Rachel.

        OK, I am. I just don't want to know what it involves.

        • redarmyzombie

          Hey, we can still invoke Tier-1 Queer Solidarity, right?

          …right?

  • Boojum

    I've asked Rebecca, but she won't tell me. Who are you guys?

    • PsycWench

      The ghosts of Christmas past.

    • SorosBot

      The Fourth and Fifth Doctors.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I'm an nfp management consultant. Is this the webinar on family foundations?

    • ChuckieJesus

      A wretched hive of scum and villany. Pleased to meetcha.

      • tessiee

        Hope you guessed my name.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Oh, that wasn't what was confusing me at all.

          • bobbert

            What, was it the nature of her game?

    • lulzmonger

      The folks your parents warned you about.

    • C_R_Eature

      A Pervertebrate.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I thought you were a cephalopodperson.

        • C_R_Eature

          Both!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Cephalopods don't have vertebrae, CRE.

          • C_R_Eature

            Zounds and Odds Bodkins, it's a joke word you toasterperson!

            Invert Pervert – ebrate!

            Arrrrgh.

          • Boojum

            Which means your ebrates are perverted, which is quite different from having vertebrae which are perred. Perred vertebrae generally require injections of raspberry jelly and Jagermeister. Perverted ebrates just like to be rubbed with cacti.

            Very different things.

    • http://wonkette.com Jim Newell

      the liquidators

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        What the fuck does that mean?

        • Chichikovovich

          I guess they're selling off the commenters for pennies on the dollar.

        • HistoriCat

          It means you're going to be kept on for six months to train your Chinese replacement in the fine art of Wonkette commenting.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Not sober, if that narrows it down any.

  • keepwalkin

    Has Romney shit hisself yet?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I hope we don't break the interwebs tonight.

  • satyricrash

    HEHNG??

  • Come here a minute

    Three ball games and C-Span.org. The twenty-first century is awesome, and stupid.

    • Crank_Tango

      did you see that zee germans are marketing booze that has been poured over the tits of hot women and then bottled?

    • iTuna

      Watching this over my xbox and Google Hangoutting with my parents. Our dumb future is awesome.

  • Wadisay

    Just think, if you are Mitt, while you’re coming up with an answer to the question, you must also ask yourself: (1) will this piss off my base?; (2) in pandering to my base, will this alienate the rest of America?; (3) what does this contradict of what I’ve said before?; (4) if it’s supposed to be a statement of fact, is this a lie?; (5) if it’s supposed to be a statement of belief, does it just strain credulity?; (6) does it make me look like a rich, out-of-touch prick? Then—and only then—you may get on with your answer. If he not made this mess himself, I could almost find it in my heart to pity him. Nah.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      He built that.

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        but he built it in a quiet room where the trees are the right height.

        • NellCote71

          And he has friends who own these rooms.

          • mille derps

            And that's all you people need to know.

    • tessiee

      You're giving him way too much credit if you think any of those thoughts once wandered through his big, empty, narcissistic head.
      He has, as Louis C.K. once said, no decent sense of self-doubt.

  • memzilla

    Ken 'N Jim! Bring on the snark! BRIIIIIIIING IT!

  • C_R_Eature

    Goof Ghod, that photo looks like the Cylon Family Christmas.

    It's giving me the Willies.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Fuckin' toasters, man.

      • C_R_Eature

        Look who's talking!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Awright. Who told you? Because, you know, I'ma have to keeel them.

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    Asked my dad what he was drinking for the debate and he responded with this:
    "I am drinking Jameson's for this debate. Mitt drives me to the hard stuff."

    • tracyhasfun

      I drink Jameson every day. ?

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    I think that Jim and Ken make a cute couple.

  • C_R_Eature

    I hope those Podia are the right height.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Is this the debate where they debate in a tub of mud?

  • Veritas78

    50 million of us, but how many are not wearing pants?

    • Crank_Tango

      all of um, katie.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Define 'pants'.

    • Biff

      I, for one.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Geezus, who the fuck wears pants if they don't, you know, HAVE to?

      • AlterNewt

        "Occupy Pants!"

        ..or something.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Yours, or mine? (leers at AlterNewt)

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh, I am SO watching this!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            The more the merrier, yaknow. (leers at redarmyzombie)

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh-ho-ho-HO!!!

            *challenge accepted*

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            You little hellion!

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh, you have nooooo idea! *evilchuckle*

            *le sigh* unfortunately though, I'm gonna have to call it a night. Gotta take off in 6 hours, and I'm already lacking sleep as it is. *hugs*

            (stupid bodily needs)

      • bobbert

        How MANY "pants"?

  • Terry

    Romney can't let a photo of himself studying get out. The GOP prides itself on complete ignorance

  • YasserArraFeck

    silence reigns. empty lecterns. Jim looks lonely

  • tracyhasfun

    Jim's eyes are like BULLET HOLES.

  • OzoneTom

    That TelePrompTer is distracting.

  • Mittaplasia

    Just try to look straight when you're licking up that Mister Softee; you may be overenjoying, 'ya think?

    • tessiee

      Mitt looks like he's really enjoying that so-called "Iced cream".

    • tessiee

      I'm assuming that you're addressing your comment to Ann, and by "Mister Softee", you mean Mitt?

  • Terry

    Good man, your father

  • Crank_Tango

    Just like old times, which is good news for McCain.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    "The arena features padded individual seating, two members-only club seating areas, a four-sided video scoreboard, and a concourse with glassed-in views of the adjoining Hamilton Gymnasium and El Pomar Natatorium. "

    • chascates

      And the snack bar closes at 9:30pm EST.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    I had this mashup in my head of Romney and Ryan tryin' to get hip singing "Combination Pizza Hut andTaco Bell" – with Mitt's quizzical expression à la Dubya wonderment at the grocery scanner, that such things exist — but the image just got replaced by a duo of a bearded' and a ginger~

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      A bearded WHAT? Inquiring minds demand to know!

  • e_z

    jumping the gun to predict, Romney's 'zingers' will fall as flat as Howard Sprague telling a joke in Mayberry's Barber shop…flinchingly bad.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    You could have gone haiku, if you really tried!

  • AbandonHope_

    Stop with the awesome imagery, I am trying to concentrate on zingers.

  • SorosBot

    It's starting! Whatever sitcom was just on NBC just ended, and now Brian Williams is talking like a douche, as usual. And I made it back from the bar just in time.

  • Jerri

    Kick em in the balls? Tweety's workin blueish.

    • Isyaignert

      Tweety should have combed his hair – did Rmoney give him a ride on top of the limo?

  • tracyhasfun

    David Brooks gives me a yeast infection.

    • Katydid

      David Brooks gives my yeast infection a yeast infection.

      • http://yakkingmelmoth.blogspot.com/ Porter Melmoth

        David Brooks IS a yeast infection. And a snaggletooth.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Jim Lehrer looks nervous… Is he packing?

  • bikerlaureate

    Magnum Arena?

    Point – Mr. President!

  • ChuckieJesus

    I'm watching a stark feed of Jim Lehrer reading the beginning lines of A New Hope up on the teluhprompterz. Two minutes, folks.

    • SorosBot

      Leher seems like a perfect cure for insomnia.

  • AbandonHope_

    Mitt: "When I'm President, the first thing I'm defunding is that goddamned Commission on Presidential Debates."

  • Wadisay

    Domestic issues = Mitt's going to talk about how hard it is to find good help.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    IT'S ON, BITCHES!

  • chascates

    Are there rules for a sudden death playoff?

    • Radiotherapy

      That's what the Death Panel are for!

    • Radiotherapy

      That's what the Death Panels are for!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Is there a fire brigade standing by to extinguish Mitt's pants when they explode?

    • tracyhasfun

      Ugh. I am nauseated. What a lying piece of shit. I avoid watching Romney AT ALL, commercials, etc. This is too much smarm for me.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      At this point his pants have become like a flow of lava, the only large enough body of water, an ocean is required to quench it. Good thing the mittbot is made of asbestos because he's an old, selfish prick.

    • Warpde

      Nah, they got laid off.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Who is this mummy moderating the debate?

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Countdown to Ecstasy!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    other means = actual series of tubes

  • coolhandnuke

    Worried about Mitt's motherboard slowing down and glitching at this high altitude.

  • littlebigdaddy

    I am drinking healthy, low-alchohol Guinness, because I have the feeling there will be many drinking occasions tonight.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    And three questions on bee-keeping!

  • chascates

    A bonus question is on Chicago blues musicians.

  • FraAnima

    Fuck the drinking…I'm using reds and bennies for my debate game. Yeehaaa!!!!!

  • Tilley

    I can't get through this without the Wonkette live-blog. Hey Wonkers. Let the games begin!

  • slithytoves

    Jesus, enough with the rules.

  • C_R_Eature

    Jim Lerher's face is like one of those Flemish portraits who's eyes follow you around the room.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    No laughing allowed!!!!

  • JustPixelz

    OBAMA WINS IT!

  • BoroPrimorac

    Kick Off!

  • YasserArraFeck

    no boos hisses etcetc
    except "Nigger!!!!!", of course

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    tag team liveblogging!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Survey Says?

    A: Barry.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Mitwit shakes a blah mans hand for the first time in his life.

    • YasserArraFeck

      its ok, he has some kkkleenex in the lectern

    • redarmyzombie

      You know, I think that might be the first time he's shaken hands to begin with.

    • NellCote71

      And looks around for Clinton to wipe his hands on.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • C_R_Eature

    Annnnd, here we go!

  • chascates

    Romney's flag pin is bigger. BURN!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Aaaaand they're off!
    drink

  • Terry

    Mitt looks scared

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Hi kids, Good news: silent audience. Bad news: 90 minutes?! Don't they know about Amercia's terrible attention span?

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    What are jobs?

  • Wadisay

    "Fuck you, Mitt."
    "No, fuck you Barack."

  • AbandonHope_

    Damned liberal coins.

  • NellCote71

    Obama is wearing a blue tie. Why does he hate America?

  • http://wonkette.com Jim Newell

    Is the website working for people BECAUSE FUCK IT IS NOT WORKING

    • gullywompr

      Fucking websites – how do they work?

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Aliens.

    • Terry

      Yep, just like it always does

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      It's mostly working. As well as usual that is.

    • AbandonHope_

      I'll try to transcribe it for you but I'm not sure I can type that fast. Here we go…

      Obama: I've got a … something about sourc… er, tax cod…

      You know what, screw it. Find a TV.

    • bikerlaureate

      We'll break IntenseDebate before this is done.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Which? There are many.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      I'm seeing 8:58 as the latest. If it doesn't work, print it up and I'll subscribe to your newsletter.

    • C_R_Eature

      It's working for me, except your liveblog post is inexplicably below the "Zinger" one.
      Oh, and Wonkette is making me nauseous as usual, so that's working too.

    • http://s841.photobucket.com/albums/zz333/Extemporanus/ Extemporanus

      It's working for me…

      (Welcome back, Jen & Kim!)

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      It's been iffy.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      When your editor/moderator writes in ALL CAPS it means something FREAKING BAD HAPPENED!

  • C_R_Eature

    We're talking about creating jobs IN THIS COUNTRY MITT!

  • redarmyzombie

    Hey, before this gets into full swing, does anyone else here remember Celebrity Deathmatch?

  • CarnyTrash

    Aww. Sweetie!

  • Tilley

    Aw sweet! Love you Michelle!

  • bikerlaureate

    The President can create jobs?
    This changes everthang.

  • SorosBot

    Barack loves Michelle; awww.

    • JustPixelz

      I love her more. And he's not good enough for her.

  • Come here a minute

    auto industry — drink!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Who won?

    • BloviateMe

      China

  • Tilley

    Barry seems a little nervous. I do not like.

  • salt_bagel

    WHOA NOBODY SAID THIS WAS SPOSED TO BE SEXXXXY

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    He's sending private messages to his black mistress instead of focusing on jerbs!!1!1

  • FlyOverGirl

    Haha. Suck it, GOP handlers. No one noticed the wedding anniversary when scheduling. Isn't the 20th, Reverse Cowgirl?

    • salt_bagel

      That's the other 364 days.

    • docterry6973

      Nuts. I missed it.

  • FraAnima

    Flag pins. Drink!!

  • finallyhappy

    anniversary,sweetie!! Win

  • littlebigdaddy

    Well, I see Mittens resisted his advisors' recommendation to show up in blackface. Mind you, what's up with his hair?

  • Jerri

    Barry, I love ya but you're no Joe Biden when it comes to buttering up the missus.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Never go full "Valley of the Dolls," because Broadway doesn't go for booze and pills. There's only one star in a Neely O'Bama picture, and that's Neely O'Bama!

    • FraAnima

      Either you're a film connoisseur or a fan of Stephanie Miller's box. Either way, I salute you!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Bad timing for being a romantic, Barry.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    < waiting for zinger >

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Economic patriotism- Drink! Middle Class- Drink!

  • FraAnima

    Zing!!

  • anonymousryan

    What channel is everyone watching on? I'm watching CSPAN but I'm afraid I'll miss out on funny pundit comments. Are they all going to be pretty much the same?

  • Limeylizzie

    Cue the lip-smacking. Ewwwwwww

  • coolhandnuke

    The traditional 20th wedding anniversary gift is China. Maybe Mitt will give us a few jobs back from China.

    • mille derps

      Deserves many upfists!

  • smashaduck

    He says "Jim" like he once knew a poor guy with that name.

  • YerMa

    Miffed's flag pin is WAY bigger. And kudos for skipping the Snooki face, Willard!

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Romneybot comes out swinging!

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    I'm SO ready. I've got CNN open in one window, Wonkette in another, Andrew Sullivan's blog in the third, Twitter in the fourth, and YouPorn in the fifth.

    • NellCote71

      You ninja warrior, owning the cyberspace.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      And all with just one hand on the keyboard!

    • mayor_quimby

      Now that's a goddamn problem solver! Do you own a small business, perchance?

  • Limeylizzie

    Lying sack of Mitt

  • Tilley

    Mitt-bot.

  • chascates

    Sure lady, here's a buck.

  • Jerri

    Ann, can you take in this baby?

    • miss_grundy

      I thought he was going to offer jobs as domestics in one of his houses…

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      "Yes! Of course I can–infant skin is wonderful material for dresses."

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I'm sorry, I can't watch Romney!

  • SorosBot

    Romney: I am a hu-man be-ing and understand you fellow hu-mans.

  • mayor_quimby

    Did Mitt tell that lady to go fuck herself and borrow money from her parents?

  • FraAnima

    Can I help you? Are there no work houses? Are there no debtor prisons?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    A plebe touched me in Dayton! An urchin shoved her whelp at me in Denver!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "Can you help me?" I replied, "No. Fuck no."
    Ziiinnnng

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Mitt: A woman asked can ya help us? KENYA HELP US? I see what you did there, Mittens!

  • YasserArraFeck

    Yes we can help – we need some new gardeners….

  • finallyhappy

    Hey her husband had 4 jobs-whiner

  • Terry

    Mitt should have been honest with the woman in Ohio and told her he sent her job to China

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    "I've had the 'occasion' to meet…" Mitt does, on occasion, think of you people, when he meets them.

  • Limeylizzie

    Has he dyed more of his gray side bits?

    • Negropolis

      I noticed the same thing.

      • Limeylizzie

        He has , trying to look more youthful.

    • SorosBot

      He wants to look like Mr. Fantastic. It's not working.

    • redarmyzombie

      Well, at least he isn't in Brownface.

  • SorosBot

    Mittens' plan has five vague undefined parts that will totally work but he can't tell us the details.

  • bikerlaureate

    Best schools in the world? With those nasty union-loving teachers?

    • miss_grundy

      Didn't he say that our educational system isn't good enough…probably because of those dirty union thugs (teachers)…

  • Wadisay

    Oh, Mitt, please forget #5.

  • chascates

    Small business? HUGE businesses are all he knows about!

  • Tilley

    "Crack down on China if and when they cheat"?? uh Mitt, they own our ass. What do you suggest?

    • miss_grundy

      Actually, China owns his ass, because he has sent so many jobs to China…

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    I'm sorry, Mitt, your quavering voice just isn't convincing.

    • viennawoods13

      Goddam whiner. (Him, not you, obv.)

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    "A woman grabbed my arm and said, 'MISS! STOP MOLESTING MY ARM, MISS!'"

  • mavenmaven

    Attacking China? I think Romney already lost.

  • AbandonHope_

    You know what would get small business going again? GET THE FUCKING BANKS TO ACTUALLY LEND TO THEM YOU DIPSHIT

    • docterry6973

      Some stimulus would help. Cold hard cash right into the hands of poorz who will instantly take to my showroom and buy stuff.

  • Tilley

    "trickle-down government"? The fuck? Oh Mittens.

    • SorosBot

      Yeah, we tried that twice before (`980-1992 and 2000-2008) and it failed miserably.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Trickle-down GOVERNMENT? WTF?

    • redarmyzombie

      <sigh> Oh, Willard…what would we do without you*?

      *many, many wonderful things.

  • savethispatient

    I suspect the URL in ends in .XXX

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I know what it takes…..
    OK tells us what it takes.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Attempted Zinger #1: Trickle Down Government!

    • Lucidamente1

      Wasn't that when the Gipper peed himself?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    direct response from bamz.

    go barry.

  • Terry

    Mitt, how are you going to train people and build great schools while cutting taxes for millionaires?

  • iTuna

    MR PRESIDENT, WHO KILLED LAURA PALMER?!?!

    edit: operation 'get mad high on pain meds and watch Twin Peaks' was a resounding success

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      The Original Cult Sci-Fi/Fantasy Disappointment! X-Files and Lost failed longer, but not as hard!

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Mitt just said he is not going to cut taxes on the rich.

    Wow, he did reboot.

    Watch on http://www.democracynow.org if you want to hear from the Republican, Democratic, Green, and Justice nominees all.

    • finallyhappy

      Nah-I don't even want to hear the main challenger

  • bikerlaureate

    Government taxing more in this President's term ?
    Liar !

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Is it okay with you guys if I have a third glass of wine already?

    • NellCote71

      Only if I can too. YES WE CAN.

  • FraAnima

    Romney's smile looks like he swallowed a bucket of yak piss.

  • finallyhappy

    Romney has a goofy look-is he drunk already?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      I was gonna mention his sunken eye-sockets, but that wouldn't be nice.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    That was scary. I thought Mitt was gonna show he was a genuine guy by starting the debate with tears.

  • ChuckieJesus

    Taxing more? Uh…

  • FlyOverGirl

    Slow down, Barry. Ya got 84 more minutes.

  • Negropolis

    STOP agreeing with your opponent, Mr. President. Really.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Pleasantries, etc. for appetizer
      Being the Adult In The Room, main course
      Zingers® for dessert

    • anniegetyerfun

      I fucking hate it when he does that.

  • slithytoves

    Am I drinking too much or is everyone talking too fast?

  • littlebigdaddy

    No one said "Go Pioneers"? Would've been a gimme.

  • ChuckieJesus

    His trickle down approach? Is this a callback to the "romantic timez with me!" comment?

    • littlebigdaddy

      Maybe Mittens can do a Dole after the election and become a pharmaceutical spokesman for Flomax.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    I am aware Mittens is talking in his "quiet room" voice

  • Terry

    Mitt really looks like heck, like he's going to cry or something

    • NellCote71

      No. he has that, "you-poor-pitiful-thing look. Don't you understand I am supposed to be the president, you stupid blah."

  • SorosBot

    Obama wants to invest in community colleges? All right!

    Give me some rope
    Tie me to dream
    Give me the hope
    To run out of steam
    Somebody said
    It can be here
    We could be roped up, tied up
    Dead in a year
    I can't count the reasons I should stay
    One by one they all just fade away

  • chascates

    And that math don't add up!

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    Is Mittens affecting a sincerity oozing rasp to sound sincere? Ain't working here…

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm running late with my commute. Did Obama take the stage, cry "Allah Akbar!" and detonate his explosive vest?

    • Tilley

      not yet. muslim socialist is pacing himself.

    • FlyOverGirl

      It was more of a Sic Semper Tyrrannis.

    • docterry6973

      No, no. All that comes AFTER he wins a second term. Then it is jihad and sharia, 24/7.

      • mille derps

        And soshalizm. Don't forget the soshalizm!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Nothing like some good old-fashioned Moose Lump Soshulism to get the teabaggers going.

  • JackObin

    I see Diet Coke on the table. I hate to tell you this, Romney clan, but that shit is FAR worse for you than coffee or booze. Phony ding-a-lings.

  • Limeylizzie

    Mitt looking down , scribbling and then smirking is not very appealing.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Smirk'n-scribble! Smirk'n'scribble!

  • FraAnima

    Mittens' flag pin is bigger than Barry's. Of course, he's compensating…

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Is Mitt running with a stable OS release?

    • mille derps

      Is that a Rafalca reference?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Are you kidding me, that sonofabitch's OS is held together with baling wire.

      • redarmyzombie

        You're too generous. I'd say it's more along the lines of scotch tape and dried chewing gum.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I'm just glad I'm not doing bugfix on him.

  • smashaduck

    No tax cut? Does the Tea Party know this?

  • Jerri

    In the msnbc split screen reaction shots mitt looks like Mrs. Doubtfire without the make up.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Etch-a-Sketch mode engaged.

  • SorosBot

    Romney won't increase taxes for high income people; of course. Asshole prick fuckhead.

  • Limeylizzie

    I'll call you a cunt.

  • DocChaos

    I've made the drinking game easy, every time either Obama and Romney say the word "and" I take another shot.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I don't have a tax cut??????????????????????????????

  • Tilley

    middle class buried, Mittster? hey, that was Joe B's line.

  • Come here a minute

    Economy tax — ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZiiiiinnnngggg!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Lehrer introduced Romney as the former Governor of Massachusetts.

    Typical liberal media bias.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Attempted Zinger #2: The Economy Tax!

  • BoroPrimorac

    So do you want to raise taxes on the top 10%, Mitt?

  • Negropolis

    Mitt, it'd be must appreciated if you stopped speaking to the president as if he was a child. Thanks.

    • NellCote71

      Exactly.

  • Limeylizzie

    Barry is going to slam this lip-smacking bastard.

  • chascates

    I hear even pussy's getting tighter but I have no direct knowledge of that.

  • smashaduck

    I have $4300 in my sofa cushions.

  • bikerlaureate

    Mitt's so concerned about the 47% being crushed…

  • proudgrampa

    Rmoney is making faces! Just like Gore. he's goin' down!!!

  • Barbara_

    Mitt is pretending to care about middle class Americans. You know, those who make $250,000.00 a year.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Mittbot FLAILING_ARMS_ROUTINE FUNCTION DIVIDE BY ZERO

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    ERROR!!!!!! MITTBOT_FLAILING_ARMS_ROUTINE_FUNCTION_DIVIDE_BY_ZERO

  • Terry

    Uh oh. Mitt is going to have to send an email to his rich donors and tell them he was just fooling when he said no tax cuts for the rich.

  • C_R_Eature

    "I'll bet you $10,000.00 my dick is bigger"

    • FraAnima

      You lose, Mitt.

      • mille derps

        I dunno- Cheney is pretty big…

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Girl, you should be able to spot a stuffed sock at 20 paces.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Awesome!!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    WTF? Mitt won't cut taxes???? That popping sound is Ryan's head exploding.

    • tessiee

      I suspect that bubble wrap would make a louder sound than Ryan's head exploding.

  • AbandonHope_

    Mitt. Ask a question. A question, Mitt. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ASK OBAMA A QUESTION.

    [ x ] Does not follow directions

    • Mittens Howell, III

      [ x ] Does not play well with others.

      [ x ] Eats glue.

    • glamourdammerung

      [ x ] Tortured the family pet, made jokes about it, then does not understand why normal people were horrified.

  • NellCote71

    Get off the goddamn price of gas. Look up the price in 2007, early 2008, ass wipe.

  • ChuckieJesus

    It was a hard egg to lay, I bet.

  • chascates

    Hey! That photo of the Romneys shows a bottle of Coke. Who's the heretic?

    • finallyhappy

      Caffeine free- is that allowed?

      • chascates

        I'll have to run that by the Bishop.

  • EdFlintstone

    Mitt—-"you mean I really have to explain my tax plan tonight"?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Why won't that Negro maintain eye contact?!

  • Negropolis

    Yeah, drill in our national parks. Great idea, Mitt.

    Fuck you.

  • chascates

    There is no such thing as clean coal.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    WTF is "clean" coal?

    • finallyhappy

      I have some- it is fake and goes with a gas fireplace

    • C_R_Eature

      "Jumbo Shrimp", Military Intelligence" etc.

    • AbandonHope_

      You find it in the aisle with the dehydrated water and the salt-free sodium chloride.

    • OzoneTom

      It's the coal that stays in the ground.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      It's dirty coal that's been shat out of Frank Luntz's anus.

    • docterry6973

      Comes from good Republican mines.

    • tessiee

      Extracted from the ground by legitimate miners?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    The Romneybot needs a reboot. It is spewing gibberish.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    What is it with revenue-neutral tax reform. I don't understand this. Do businesses only ever make decisions that keep bringing in the same money? Don't you want to bring in more money?

  • JustPixelz

    Romney likes stuff that burns. oil, coal, bridges.

  • AddHomonym

    I like coal!

  • Jerri

    By the way, I'm a total dick, see.

  • redarmyzombie

    Funny, I was thinking about borrowing from my parents. You know, to start a new business.

  • Come here a minute

    "Clean coal" — Shout out to Ohio!

  • Terry

    Mitt, there is no such thing as "clean coal"

  • ChuckieJesus

    OH AND HAI WONKET FREND

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I like coal! tasty!

  • SorosBot

    Oh Mittens wants to just rip up the country to get all that precious oil and coal; fuck you.

  • chascates

    Someone wrote online that when Romney gets shook up he waves his arms around.

  • salt_bagel

    I mother-fucking LOOOVE coal!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He should stick some in his mouth.

  • coolhandnuke

    Does mitt have a pledge pin (I'm guessing Flounder) on his flag pin?

    • tessiee

      Beta male Mitt isn't Neidermeyer on his best day.
      Ryan is Neidermeyer; Mitt is Greg Marmalard with the limp noodle.

  • Tilley

    this is responding? STFU Mitt.

  • smashaduck

    Why, back in college, we used to cut our blow with coal. What a rush!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Great Episode of Alaska Bush Pilots on TWC!

  • Barbara_

    "By the way, I like coal." I like to slip a slab into Ann's butt cheeks and make her walk through a Wal Mart and watch her pinch out a diamond on the way back to the Cadillac.

    • tessiee

      Shhhh!
      Oh, now you've gone and given away the secret of their wealth!

  • http://www.wonkette.com wsbloodystump

    "I like coal"–moi aussi, Romney, when it it is forced down my throat to absorb toxins…..

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Mitt can't increase the tax burden on middle class, and can't increase it on the wealthy, but he's going to increase revenues. Gaaaah.

  • chascates

    They can't buy TWO Cadillacs though! Only rich assholes do that.

  • FraAnima

    Oh god, the Mitt smirk is going to lose him the election.

  • ChuckieJesus

    President Rmoney of GOVERNMENTLAND

  • C_R_Eature

    "I Like Coal." Are we going to say anything at all about Global Warming?

    Ever?

    • finallyhappy

      he was taking about Nat King Cole- trying to get a black vote

  • Tilley

    barry's looking more professorial. good.

  • miss_grundy

    Yeah……now…..where was he back in May when he was talking smack….

  • FlyOverGirl

    My dancing horse has a cadillac.

  • redarmyzombie

    Same.

  • Negropolis

    I like how "tax cut" has become nearly as much a slur as "tax hike." He has Romney on the defensive on taxes.

  • http://www.wonkette.com wsbloodystump

    Shit, can't we just let them cage-fight? Like to the death?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Holey crap! I think Mitt just blew his whole load in that last spiel.

  • SorosBot

    Hey I've been doing that! Well if you replace "to start a new business" with "to pay the rent".

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Does Romney have a tiny diamond stud on his upper lip, or is that flop sweat?

    • miss_grundy

      How can you tell the difference and good evening, sir…..

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    This is REALLY boring. When does the nude Jell-O wrestling (for the LADIEZ) start?

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    ooh math and facts – Mitt must quit!

  • Biff

    First time I ever heard mittens speak without gasping for air. This could spell trouble for Hopey…

  • HELisforHEL

    Jim Leher has big dead cow eyes.
    just sayin'

  • larrykat

    Leher has lost control of these two mavericks already. 90 minutes of repeating their TV ads? This is going to suck.

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh, god, Willard is stuttering…the man is screwed.

  • e_z

    Mitt is an ad for the Smirk-o-Matic

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Transgender Coal Miners: Potential Romney micro-target

  • Wadisay

    C'mon, Lehrer, who's in charge here????!!!!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      This is the same obstructionist tactic David Gregory allowed Scott Brown to get away with.

  • JustPixelz

    Rude Romney interrupts Lehrer.

  • Tilley

    mitt speaks of himself in the third person. CHUG!

    • tessiee

      Tessie does that sometimes; but when Tessie does it, it's cute.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    From Sully: "A good volley back from Obama but Romney is coming off like Reagan, and has managed to provide anecdotes and stories, while Obama is a little wonky. But when Romney actually said that he wasn't cutting taxes for the very wealthy, it seems completely out of sync with his actual proposal."

  • chascates

    All five boys are liars????

    • mille derps

      Apples din't fall far from the tree, huh?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    WTF C-SPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    HOWTHEFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Negropolis

    Obama ain't your boy, you fucker. Stop that shit, already. He's not your child.

  • Jerri

    Thanks to only getting political news from Wonkette, this is the longest amout of time I've been exposed to Mitt actually moving and talking. Is it always this horrible?

    • Tilley

      yes.

    • redarmyzombie

      No. Sometimes it's worse.

    • mayor_quimby

      Oh yeah, he's fucking awful on the stump, especially when the camera is zoomed in on him. He looks manic, frantic all the time

      • Jerri

        Yeah! He seems more human that I thought he would but he also seems dickish, smug and kinda manic compared to Barry.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Stop lying about me, Boy!!

    • mayor_quimby

      That was fucked up, one of those toe deaf things that Rmoney does so often

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    Oh snap! Romney boys got zinged by daddy!

  • Terry

    Mitt just said his sons lie a lot.

  • CarnyTrash

    Why does Mitt's mouth look so chapped?

    • mille derps

      Adelson's ass has a fungal thing going on…

    • tessiee

      Ever since Pennsylvania said they had to vote fair and square, Mitt's been putting in some extra time blowing the Koch boys.

    • Negropolis

      'Cause sucking Koch-dick is hard?

  • BarryOPotter

    If Mitt won't allow a tax cut that's not paid for, then he either won't offer a tax cut, won't pay for it, or he's lying. Hmmm…

  • SorosBot

    Mitt will not add to the deficit with his tax plan, but won't release any detail. And he won't raise taxes on the rich or the middle class. That makes perfect sense.

  • chascates

    STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Uh oh, "five boys." That's my snack food word.

  • bikerlaureate

    If Mitt says his tax plan won't add to the deficit, well then, darn it, it obviously won't!

    What could be clearer?

    Lower taxes on middle-class families don't mean squat if they lose more in deductions than they gain from the lower rates…

  • JustPixelz

    Romney just called his kids a bunch of liars. Must not have raised 'em right. Also called Obama a liar. Yep … he went there.

  • AbandonHope_

    I saw a study that said that the study that talked about studious studies about studying killed Professor Plum in the Study with the study.

    Hee hee. Study.

  • Come here a minute

    Wiskey –> Gin

    Comments?

    • tessiee

      One word: Tanqueray.

  • chascates

    Look, Jim. Romney's just full of shit. We all know that.

  • larrykat

    Romney looks like he needs a good shit.

  • http://www.wonkette.com wsbloodystump

    Okay Miffed….you get to talk even though dead-eyed JL said no…..ugh rage-stroke coming on! GollyWomper please help!

    • Terry

      Mitt looks like he's about to cry or yak. Is he going to crack?

    • gullywompr

      So sorry that I missed your plea, stump. I would have done what I could, although rage-strokes are not really my specialty.

      Quite the opposite, actually…

    • gullywompr

      Maybe next drinky thing, I can be more helpful.

    • gullywompr

      Stumps, come back.

  • bikerlaureate

    Yay arithmetic!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    You don't want to make Lehrer mad.
    He will milktoast you to death.

    • AlterNewt

      He will "I'm so disappointed" the fuck out of you.

  • http://recessappointment.com Recessappt

    Romney looks like a proletarian art photo looking off into the distance while being called out

  • Negropolis

    Romneybot angry! Romneybot smash!

  • Terry

    Barry called Mitt a flip flopper. Lol

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Barry blew his arithmetic line.

  • SorosBot

    "His big bold idea is nevermind" Haha Obama points out Mittens tax promises are obvious bullshit.

  • BarryOPotter

    Math is hard!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I think Jim and Ken broke the site. It's true, you can't go home again.

  • miss_grundy

    He's going to have people pay fees, just like they did in Massachusetts, to make up for revenue. He supposedly passed a funeral tax….

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Obama plays the math card. BOOM!

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Actually, Barry, Nirvana's big, bold idea was "Nevermind." Sorry!

  • coolhandnuke

    jerbs, jerbs, jerbs…triple shot of absinthe….oh that burns

  • Wadisay

    Romney's wearing a bigger flag lapel pin. Obama can kiss Oklahoma goodbye.

  • BathroomGoblin

    The Victorians loved coal too, governor.

  • larrykat

    All this math shit is boring.

  • Negropolis

    I think "Nevermind" is going to be one of those memorable lines coming out of this.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Etch a sketch reference, methinks.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Andrew Sullivan: "Romney is kicking the president's ass." I love you, Sully, but fuck you, also.

  • nolanat

    I'm drunk already. Is that bad? I'm going to get drunker, aren't I?

  • MegPasadena

    Obama just pointed out Mitt is lying about his policy.
    And Clinton!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    IT'S MATH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (never thought I'd be glad that CNN is streaming C-SPAN FUCKED UP)

  • SorosBot

    Donald Trump is a small business; awesome.

  • AbandonHope_

    Did he just make a Trump dick joke?

  • Arla

    Why is the MittBot having such a problem enunciating words and phrases with more than two syllables? I thought he was just choking on the phrase "middle income" out of principle, but the words absolutely and completely, among others, appear to be beyond his grasp too.

    • tessiee

      I think the concept of "middle income" is beyond his grasp, not just the words.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I think they gave him something to pep him up. People have been complaining for 18 months now that the guy lacks spirit, charisma, pep, zing, etc. They knew tonight was make-or-break so they gave him some coffee or caffeine pills or speed, and he could hardly talk. He kept tripping over his own tongue, stuttering, stammering, stumbling.

      • redarmyzombie

        Say, do you think they gave him any of that sweet Columbian Blow?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Stop it, I am SO fucking jealous.

          • redarmyzombie

            *TeeHee*

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    Romney and Obama are dickriding small businesses so hard right now

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Trump libel. YAY!!!

  • Tilley

    science and research? Oh Barry please.

  • redarmyzombie

    "And I don't think Donald Trump thinks of himself as small…anything!"

    Somehow, there's a Freudian motif here.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Romney says he won't lower taxes for the upper class, or raise them for the middle class, or the lower class. Hey, Mitt! Where's the money coming from? Huh? Huh? Huh? (Look behind him and see if he has his fingers crossed.)

    • Terry

      He's going to close those loop holes he refuses to get specific on.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Same place he got those battleships, as the old joke goes.

  • Tilley

    Lehrer is losing control.

  • chascates

    Lehrer should pull out an air horn and blast it to get them into line.

  • JustPixelz

    Lehrer is folding like a lawn chair after Labor Day.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    MITTBOT_FRANTIC_WRITE_NOTES_ROUTINE_INFINITE_LOOP_DETECTED

  • stew1

    Bam's makin' the Mormon guy swept…

    • stew1

      I meant sweat, but swept works I guess.

  • mavenmaven

    so dull. I can't watch this part. Mitt is so obfuscatory, and Obama looks scared, surprisingly.

    • Tilley

      he's gotta get his groove. c'mon barry.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Obama does not look comfortable. He needs to practice some of that disdain Romney is so good at.

  • AlterNewt

    But what about the jobs for the CHILDREN, gentleman? What about the children?

    • schvitzatura

      How about a job for a 45 year-old child of 70 year-old parents?

      JERBS!

  • sudsmckenzie

    And Donald Trump just set his blackberry to ALL CAPS

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt really must have had a lot of milk and cookies.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    He's stammering like a fucking machine gun, now. Must be lying extra-hard.

  • slithytoves

    Apparently Romney has dry mouth and dry eyes. Knock off the secret caffeine binges!

  • OzoneTom

    It seems rather vulgar.

  • chascates

    He works part-time jiggering my electronics.

  • Negropolis

    I heard the crowd groan.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    "Mr. President, you are exactly right," sayeth the Mitt. Then shut the fuck up and go home with your goddamn tail between your holy underwear.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Hey, Mitt— what about people WHO DON'T OWN A FUCKING BUSINESS?

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      They are not job creators. We do not care about them.

    • mille derps

      If you aren't a corporation, what kinda people are you?

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I have a friend who has a small electronics business. Maybe you've heard of him, Michael Dell?

  • salt_bagel

    If Lehrer does not take control of this shit, the debate is going collapse under its own gravity.

  • BarryOPotter

    The small business EMPLOYEES are not taxed at the highest rate cause, and this is just math, most don't EARN enough income to merit that top tax rate. Now, of course, they fucking clean up on capital gains, but that's just as it should be…

  • chascates

    YOU CAN'T HAVE JOBS UNLESS THERE IS CONSUMER DEMAND!!!

  • SorosBot

    Yeah, Mitt, we can totally trust a business organization on how many jobs taxes will cost.

  • Come here a minute

    "Bowles-Simpson" — Drink a bottle of Geritol!

  • FlyOverGirl

    And I bought his business and fired them all.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Did Barry just make a Donald Trump "small" (dick) joke?

  • redarmyzombie

    Hm. Does he have nighttime incontinence and a tendency towards fire-setting?

    • glamourdammerung

      Does he have nighttime incontinence and a tendency towards fire-setting?

      No one knows. Anytime someone tries to ask, Ann starts shrieking "STOP IT" and whining about "you people".

  • HELisforHEL

    Oh please please please make Mittens STFU, come on Hopey, gloves off please.

  • RoseOsanantone

    Yes, Mittens – your priority is jobs…. That you can outsource to other countries.

  • larrykat

    What is that red blotch on Romney's lapel flag pin? An aborted fetus?

    • HELisforHEL

      Good gawd, is it a heart?

      • NellCote71

        I vote fetus.

      • Zango Crudmonger

        I do believe it is a pentagram. You can find them on the Mo temple in SLC, too. Whaddaya know.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Mitt is not impressed. – That'll cost 700K jobs. Bitch, please, Mitt can knock out twice that in five minutes. Come on Bams. get hiiiiiim.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    A tinker of electrical devices spoke to me of the crushing weight of the local tax collector's buttocks!

  • AbandonHope_

    Neither of these guys will ever let the other get the last word on the first question. This debate will last well past the end of the election.

    • HELisforHEL

      Hahaha!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mitt is spitting out the numbers like an android with diarrhea

  • BarryOPotter

    Math, common sense and history!? Whatever, Harvard!

  • SorosBot

    Romney is George Bush!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Obama is citing Bill Clinton. I guess he plans on diddling the interns in his second term?

    • Tilley

      fuck off.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Clinton vouches for me! I am Sammy to his Frank!

  • Terry

    Barry is linking Mitt to GWB without mentioning Bush's name.

  • JohnnyQuick

    KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

    (Directed at Newell and Layne, of course).

  • chascates

    Whoa, whoa, you don't make the rules here!

  • HELisforHEL

    I can smell it…we're gonna break the intertubes for certain tonight.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Romney's plan didn't work before. But by golly we're going to do it again and again and again until it works. Or until the Rapture takes Romney to Kolob and he can start screwing with another planet.

  • Come here a minute

    Comments is working fine; I guess it's just "liveblog" that's broken. Fuckit, we'll do it ourselves!

  • BoroPrimorac

    Romney is being petulant.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    MITTBOT_GENERAL_ERROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • JustPixelz

    Romney just fired Lehrer. "I get teh last word"

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh god, Willard is acting so fucking petulant, it's sad.

  • Sassomatic

    Mitt gets to make the rules now.

  • Negropolis

    Jim, control your shit, already. Shut it down, baby.

    • Come here a minute

      Legit, baby!

  • FakaktaSouth

    NO NO you may not make this comment. CAN I PLEASE DO THE NEXT DEBATE? I WILL SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN. Ahem. 2 minutes means two minutes.

    • ProgressiveInga

      I'd watch.

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    You people don't understand what my five Trillion is…

  • sudsmckenzie

    "The website is basically broken for the rest of the night, but stick around!" these two Still haven't splurged for cable – face palm…

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Last word. OK, he has revealed his megalomaniac side.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Mitt's doing that disgusting lip-smacking thing again.

  • AbandonHope_

    That's point one
    That's point one
    That's point one
    That's p**BLAM**

    *thud*

  • coolhandnuke

    Who is this 'middle class" they keep referring to? I heard they were a pretty large tribe up until the late 1980's.

    • NellCote71

      Wiped out by the Great Credit Swap Plague of 2008.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Does it ever help a candidate to complain about the moderator trying to move on after 20 minutes of saying the same thing over and over?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Unfortunately, no.

  • chascates

    OK, what about this shit written on golden tablets by some skeezy angel?

  • Tilley

    Has Lehrer gone AWOL? HELLO???

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Yeah, that's great Mitt. Can you make me dinner?

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Zhivago Plan: 5 trillion dollars for me! I promise to spend it!!!!!

  • anonymousryan

    Can America survive a black president emulating Clinton? Think of all the chubby white women!

  • SorosBot

    Romney won't support any tax cut that will ad to the deficit! Even though there is no such animal.

    • Crank_Tango

      well see, tax cuts don't add to the deficit because Reagan, boom.

  • MegPasadena

    I hate the lip smacking.

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Ah, food stamps, drink the bathtub gin.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Apparently they only programmed Romney with the same five talking points for tonight.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    turn off his microphone jim

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Oooohhhh yeah Barry, talk about the surplus and the jerbs and the Clinton….
    And then Entitled Mitt has to tell the moderator he's going to talk no matter what. shitty.

  • chascates

    My dancing pony would perform better in the Olympics under me.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Why want Rafalca in the family picture? Secret Democrat?

  • C_R_Eature

    How the fuck did Jim Lerher lose control of this so early?

    • JustPixelz

      Mitt fired him.

  • PsycWench

    Romney did NOT just bring up the food stamps..

  • EdFlintstone

    Somebody needs to gong Mitt.

  • petersonphotography

    Jenga's only fun with Liqour involved – What makes Mormon Jenga Fun? ICE CREAM!

  • SorosBot

    Food stamps! Mittens makes a racist dogwhistle; DRINK!

  • OzoneTom

    Seems like Gov. Romney has been getting a lot more than his share of time to spew.

  • MegPasadena

    Food stamps.

  • chascates

    Guns + butter = ?????

    • Crank_Tango

      delicious.

    • JustPixelz

      = Ted Nugent fapping?

    • tessiee

      Sauteed guns?

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Mitt: Fuck you Jim, I make the debate rules.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    WHAT? He gets to talk last AND first?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yes. And that feeble old man just waves his arms and splutters.

    • chascates

      And interrupt all the time. CEO to the last.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Yes, his overly developed feelings of entitlement were on parade tonight.

  • chascates

    Reagan proved deficits don't matter.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Talk about Mitt's Generation!!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Please don't break the internet. I can't get through these things without Wonkette.

  • Tilley

    Oh yes Mitt tell us all about what is MORAL you fucking tool.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Can you believe that buttmunch.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Car elevators: moral.
      Dancing horses: moral.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Math and morals?

  • Come here a minute

    Which comments are Jim and which are Ken? Just sayin….

    • Iam_Who_Iam

      The ones dripping vile and disgust would be Ken's.

      • AbandonHope_

        Hey, I've only got so much bile and disgust myself. I'm trying, dammit!

  • Terry

    Mitt, if you feel that way, call for the repeal of the Bush tax cuts

  • CarnyTrash

    Where are my zingers???

  • BoroPrimorac

    Moral, motherfucker? With the money you have, one can eliminate hunger in several American cities.

  • proudgrampa

    What were the rules, again???

    I've just been enjoying a fine Chardonnay…

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      I've almost enjoyed the entire bottle.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      There are no rules and they're changing all the time.

  • chascates

    Romneycare is ok though.

  • Sassomatic

    So this whole thing is just a lot of "I know you are but what am I?"

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    MITTBOT_SPEECH_SYNTHESIS_TOO_FAST

  • NellCote71

    Maybe meet with Newt on the moon.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    People, is Mitt on drugs? He's squeaking and leaping about.

  • C_R_Eature

    I think Mitt's been drinking coffee.

  • BathroomGoblin

    I like big bird.

  • Trannysurprise

    I love Big Bird? WTF?

  • CarnyTrash

    There's a spider on Romney's flag pin.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Ugh, too nervous. Smoke break.

    "I love Big Bird?"

  • chascates

    If you tax progressively you won't have to borrow money from China.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    FUCK BIG BIRD!!!!

  • Sassomatic

    Clearly the deficit is caused by Big Bird.

    • YasserArraFeck

      That fuckin' big bird – always sticking us with the bill……

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mitt loves big bird??????

    • YasserArraFeck

      possibly talking about Ann's nipple-chomping bird

    • AbandonHope_

      Yeah, he's great when lightly roasted with a pear demi-glace and served with a crisp white wine.

      I actually have no idea what I'm talking about, my usual meal is chili or spaghetti as we cannot afford any more.

  • SorosBot

    China, and "Obamacare"! That's two, two more dogwhistles!

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    "I love big bird"

    Pretty sure no one saw that coming

    • DustBowlBlues

      Is this working? Dust Bowl Blues, blue at being locked out.

  • mavenmaven

    Romney just won't play by the rules. Does that make him a winner?

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Think of the children!
    Fuck you, Mitt. Really, the children are being burdened by student loans and many are being more burdened by the privatized colleges and we all know you know people who own those colleges.

  • Tilley

    I like Big Bird? I like you too?
    Mitt, YOU DON'T GET TO BE THE DECIDER YOU MOR(M)ON.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Romney likes Big Bird. Proof he was manufactured by the Jim Henson Creature Shop?

  • under_score

    Save Big Bird!!!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    US Navy: Much better at the state level! Let New Jersey run the Air Force!

    • tessiee

      Yeah! Fuckin Ay!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Oh, geezus, does this mean we gotta worry you'll start bombing our asses?

    • redarmyzombie

      Say, wasn't there something a while back about some Republican from a landlocked state wanting to buy an aircraft carrier?

  • PsycWench

    Oh, Mitt is a Real American. He likes Big Bird. You know, Big Bird is kind of liberal, always sharing that bird seed.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Romney will cut PBS! Deficit SOLVED

    • bikerlaureate

      $2 billion saved, right?

  • Jerri

    Ok now come on Bammerz, bring it on now. This isn't supposed to be his stump speech time. Kick his ass now.

  • salt_bagel

    Mitt Romney wants to borrow money from China.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Rmoney likes PBS. Isn't that sweet! But with him, PBS is fucked–"Sorry, Jim. Big Bird is going to have to move to the zoo."

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Jeez Louise. What a dick!

  • MegPasadena

    Moral issue!
    Mitt's game is to take all the normal Obama lines and use them in a pervasive way.

  • Come here a minute

    Big bird = Big government. Think about it. Vote, people.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Jim Lehrer, I will sodomize you with Big Bird's beak to reduce this horrifying deficit!

  • Barbara_

    Mitt likes Big Bird. Big Bird thinks Mitt is a dick.

    • SorosBot

      Big Bird thinks Mitt's plan to reduce the deficit is going to ruin the country like fucking Elmo did to Sesame Street.

    • redarmyzombie

      Mitt wishes he had a big bird.

    • FlyOverGirl

      And fuck you, Mittens. Bert and Ernie just wanna marry, settle down, and raise rubber duckies.

    • glamourdammerung

      LOOK OUT, BIG BIRD. BISHOP ROMNEY WANTS TO ROOF RACK YOU!

      • schvitzatura

        Barkley breathes a sign of relief…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I really really really hate mitt now.

  • subsum

    Fucking Mittens looks like he had an epiphany: he came out swinging saying he's not going to lower taxes on the rich. He's saying a few things that make sense… I'm not puking… I'm beginning to listen to the motherfucker…. I'm starting to pay attention… fuck! I'm scared, man!

  • coolhandnuke

    He gave you two minutes Mitt, now STFU or bring out some stagehand with a tazer to stop him.

  • FlyOverGirl

    Fuck you, PBS. But thanks for hosting us. And I'll fuck Big Bird, too. I like him.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      big bird bang?

  • Negropolis

    Random observations: Romney is more of a quick-fire than I remember him to be. Obama is more zen than I saw him in debates with Hillary.

  • Terry

    Mitt is calling for cutting PBS? He's preaching out of Grover Norquist's prayer book directly

  • Trannysurprise

    Nothing says Win like telling Jim when Romney becomes President he will be fucking fired.

    • Arla

      He even gave him the classic asshole boss line, "I like you, but we're going to have to let you go."

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Romney seems to have a magic plan to fix the economy was returning us to the 1950s.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Shit, what sort of credit card do you have to have to afford two wars? That takes Bill Gates Money.

  • AlterNewt

    Now, David Gregory, he wouldn't let these two get away with this shit.

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh god, I just caught a glimpse of that smirk.

    I need to kill something, NOW!!!

  • proudgrampa

    He likes Lehrer??? WTF?

  • Limeylizzie

    Mitt looking as if he is winning this right now, come on Barry.

    • proudgrampa

      I think O is doing fine. Really.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He's always going to look like he's winning a deficit discussion. It's only an issue to conservatives.

      • Limeylizzie

        Good point.

    • redarmyzombie

      I dunno, Willard just sounds petulant and vague to me.

    • BoroPrimorac

      He's talking more, but he's not drawing any blood.

    • PsycWench

      I dunno, why is Mitts more animated than Barry?

      • AbandonHope_

        He's been overclocked.

  • AbandonHope_

    I'm sorry, my snark is currently being suppressed by rage at Money's little "we have to destroy government in order to save it" bullshit.

  • larrykat

    Ahhhh… the asshole Mitt makes an appearance. Imagine 4 years of press conferences listening to that breathy, rasping voice. Someone else said it here: Romney GW Bush!

  • Serfville

    I missed the first 1/2 hour. How is Prez doing? I see in 2 seconds high pitched whiney Mittens is on the offensive because Steve Schmidt told him to. Any zingers?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Time for MITTBOT> rm -r *

  • Sassomatic

    I promise to vote for whichever guy is going to increase my food stamps.

    • larrykat

      Boom goes the dynamite!

  • redarmyzombie

    O.o
    Aaaawkwaaaard…

  • ChuckieJesus

    "Big Bird makes us borrow money from China. Now you know." – MY HUSBAND JUST NOW

  • chascates

    Ask Romney to sacrifice one of his homes.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    BOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    ERROR_MITTBOT_ZINGERS_DELETED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Limeylizzie

    Bring up the Primaries, that's good.

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitt is (wait for it…) UNBALANCED!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I'm listening but not watching, and Mitt was actually coming off pretty well. Then he started sounding manic a few minutes ago and seems to have gone off the rails a bit. Either way this is one fucking boring debate.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      He seems to be talking more than Bammerz, too. C'mon Jimmy, cut Mittens off fer fuckssake. With a vote.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Ever wondered what it would be like if Michael Dukakis debated himself, on the one hand as a Conservative Robot, on the other as a guy with style? You got it. Come on Romney, switch over to kill mode. We need some laughs.

  • Steverino247

    Aaaaaand my wife just shut off the TV. Said she'd heard Romney say "immoral" one too many times. If Mitt Romney makes MY wife (one of the sweetest humans you'll never meet) mad, he got to be driving all other females, regardless of species, completely insane.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I like this new tone of voice Bams is employing.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    OK, who farted.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      WHOEVER SMELT IT DEALT IT!

    • tessiee

      All of us, Sharkey.

  • Wadisay

    "When governor Romney stood on a stage with other Republican candidates…"

    Romney shits self.

  • larrykat

    The old 10 to 1 gambit! Zing!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    ERROR_MITTBOT_SMIRK_OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Terry

    How it Mitt going to improve schools when he plans to gut the government?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Good question.

    • glamourdammerung

      How it Mitt going to improve schools when he plans to gut the government?

      They will explain it after they win the election.

  • chascates

    Too bad Congress won't do squat about it.

  • Negropolis

    The president seems to have a problem that wouldn't be a problem anywhere else of leaving enough space between his sentences that it gives Jim and in to cut him off, whereas Romney speaks so quickly he just steamrolls the moderator.

  • JustPixelz

    Obama apologized for going over two minutes. Another apology. OH WAIT! It's his first apology evah.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Allow me to knock that smirk off your face, Willard.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Well, they both have penises, so who would he cut off all the time.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Fuck you and your Republican POS Congress.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC

  • AbandonHope_

    Oh, for the love of God Obama, you had a perfect opening there to scream about the motherfucking obstructionist Congress and you just blew it.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Simpson-Bowles, Mitt? "Uh, thanks, but I have my own plan…" Car elevators in every pot and chickens in every living room.

  • chascates

    Plus my flag pin is bigger than yours.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Mitt has rebooted into tax mode. Ctrl Alt Del people!!!

  • AlterNewt

    *Reboot*
    *Chuckle*
    *Resume Debate sub-routine >B<*

  • LibrarianX

    MENDACITY!! Horrible, just horrible.

  • SorosBot

    God Mitt is an asshat.

  • SnarkOff

    I am afraid Mittens is wiping the floor with Obama. No snark.

    • Serfville

      Are you kidding, no snark? In what way is Mittey doing that, I've missed the whole beginning I see Mittey is on attack mode, but I did miss the full 1/2 hour, I wondered if there were any big moments.

      • AbandonHope_

        It's pretty bad, particularly given the fact that Lehrer would probably let Mitt walk up to Obama, plunge a fucking dagger into his chest, pull it out, and Jim would offer his sleeve to wipe the fucking thing off.

      • SnarkOff

        The attack is pretty effective, I think. He's being snarky and scolding, and Bamz is looking weak.

  • Jerri

    I just want Mitt to lose it. Like come unhinged.

  • larrykat

    Nah, he just called his 5 sons liars is all.

  • chascates

    The National Federation of Small Businesses is so anti-tax Grover Norquist names it in his will.

  • One_Man_Band

    Romney is just going to talk so fast that nobody will be able to process anything he said.

    • Negropolis

      I think this is the plan. It's the only sense I'm able to make of his rambling, because if you actually listen to what he's saying, it's not popular with the electorate.

  • Misty Malarky

    I'm late to this buttchugger.
    Have I missed any Zingers?

    • PsycWench

      Mitt Romney has a love/hate relationship with Big Bird and Lehrer needs to grow a pair.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You missed a lot of interrupting.

  • SorosBot

    I think he already has.

    • Jerri

      Unfortunately it makes him sound a little human. I want him to yell like he discovered the help polished his brown loafer with black polish.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    COULD WE STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING TAXES PLEASE, MOTHERFUCKI!

  • MegPasadena

    You KILL JOBS!

  • chascates

    Then we shift the money to the Cayman Islands and claim it as a loss!!!

    • tessiee

      "Oops! Did I say that part out loud?"

  • Jerri

    Hey Jim how about you interrupt Romney for a while! The fuck!?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Romney has ruled out revenue. Absolutely!

  • SnarkOff

    Did Romney just call Obama "Bro"?

  • Tilley

    BARRY! FIND YOUR BALLS MAN!!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Now it's Spain – – – in 10 minutes it will be HITLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Lehrer must feel like he's a substitute referee at a gigantic gang-bang. When are the regular referees coming back?

  • Zango Crudmonger

    I want to go to Spain. Just saying.

  • AddHomonym

    He hates Spain!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      They know what they did.

    • NellCote71

      Yes. Spain demographics, economy, history, geography, just like the United States. Good comparison, Rombutt.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Romney says you can't tax people more. But he said the rich are doing well. So why can't they be taxed more? Does not compute. His logic chip is going.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Can we do something else now? Can we just start this over? It's killing me.

  • Radiotherapy

    Nine pages already???!?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      I know!!!???!!!!!

      • Radiotherapy

        Plus I actually have to read Newell and Layne — I'm glad I don't drink anymore!

  • chascates

    How's about that 15% tax on earned income SOME people get away with, HMMMMMM?

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Suck it Big Oil!

    Well, sorta.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt took two double-stacked Rafalcas.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      That cracked me up.

  • FraAnima

    Mitt looks a little panicky. Or maybe just too many of Anne's diet pills.

  • subsum

    I think Mittens is kind of getting ahead on this thing. Come on, Barry… kick his ass! Don't you fucking disappoint me!

  • Wadisay

    Goddammit, somebody tell Jim fucking Lehrer where the mike cutoff switch is.

  • chascates

    And tie your pony on the jet roof.

    • Tilley

      You can always roll down the window to check on it.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    There we go, Barry… Keep goin'.

    • Terry

      He's getting into his groove finally

  • Mittaplasia

    The needs of the many are outweighed by the needs of the few. Sorry, Spock, but the way you said it is sooo 1960's. And show me some I.D.; I know you are not from these parts.

  • Radiotherapy

    I'm still worried about Big Bird being axed.

  • SorosBot

    I've actually identified how we can do that!

    • chascates

      But Ryan can't describe it.

  • Theywontlisten

    mitt is going to stroke out

    • miss_grundy

      Don't we all wish…..with votes….

  • tracyhasfun

    ASK MITT IF HE CAN AFFORD TO PAY MY TAX RATE.

  • Humberto_Echo

    Sorry Jim, says the Chinese factory owning plutocrat, you and Big Bird are going to have to clean out desks.

  • larrykat

    Did somebody put Icy Hot in Romney's jock or something? He's really hyperventilating.

  • Tilley

    Get it Barry. For fuck's sake.

  • coolhandnuke

    I support Simpson's bowels, Homer's a job creator.

  • FraAnima

    Smirk-scribble
    smirk-scribble
    smirk-scribble
    smirk-scribble
    smirk-scribble
    smirk-scribble

    • Radiotherapy

      Love it!

  • Negropolis

    Okay, Obama's starting to get good. He's going into speech mode where he's far more comfortable.

  • C_R_Eature

    That's it. It's about time you got on board this debate, Barry.

  • AlterNewt

    In segment 4, each candidate will be handed a harmonica and asked to

    "Whip that thing out and play us a little somethin"

    • salt_bagel

      Segment 4 will start at 6AM tomorrow morning.

    • larrykat

      Well I think we know the winner of that contest, amiright?

    • tessiee
      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Jesus I love that movie so much, I could watch it again right now. Thanks, sweetie!

  • BarryOPotter

    Barry needs to hammer home what he has accomplished during his first term, in addition to contrasting what he would do, and has identified, to make Mitt's word sound more hollow.

  • Trannysurprise

    Every now and then I think I hear Jim choking on something. If he croaks during this thing on live TV it will be the BEST FUCKING DEBATE EVER!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Corporation hand-outs … education … finally Bams is on the offense!

  • IndianaKevin

    When I was a child, I had to use textbooks that had been written in the 60s. I turned out OK.

  • Come here a minute

    "Numbers on a sheet of paper" = Fuck you leverage buyout asshole! = WIN

  • BoroPrimorac

    He just called Romney a computer.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    MittBot9000 is very Nixonesque in this debate.

  • chascates

    Plus I have to pee. How about a break, old man?

  • One_Man_Band

    Bamz needs to bring something besides boring-ass policy wonkery.

  • Come here a minute

    "Accounting treatment" = Leverage buyout asshole = FAIL

  • AddHomonym

    Just take the rest of the night off, Lehrer.

  • ChuckieJesus

    Decade old textbooks are from 2002. You think they had 9/11 in them yet?

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    God – this Mitt character is annoying

  • HELisforHEL

    Oh please please please make Mittens STFU

  • chascates

    Oil and gas makes TRILLIONS you tool!

  • Wadisay

    Romney should power the rest of his campaign with coal.

  • C_R_Eature

    Here it comes, Green Energy. Say it like it's a bad thing

  • Negropolis

    Won't someone think of the poor mon-and-pop oil drillers?

  • C_R_Eature

    Solyndra! Drink!

  • proudgrampa

    Sorry, I think Jim Lehrer has lost this debate…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He certainly lost control of it. In two minutes flat.

  • Come here a minute

    Solyndra = vodka time

  • BarryOPotter

    AbandonHope is absolutely right – must call out the obstructionist Congress

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Mitt's going nuts, jebus.

  • AddHomonym

    Zing!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Solyndra!!! Spanky2b just had an orgasm!!

    • SorosBot

      Maybe he can stop stalking us? Just maybe?

  • James Michael Curley

    Jeez, this thing is boring. I just came from a meeting where a guy was giving a report on the number of deer killed this deer season by bow hunters and he never heard of "Hunger Games." I may sleep for a few weeks.

    • schvitzatura

      Venison, mmmm.

  • chascates

    Actually, Congress passed that law. You may have missed it.

  • HELisforHEL

    Sylindra (sp?) THERE IT IS

  • Theywontlisten

    rmoney"s eyes are way too red barry is about to pimp slap the red out

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitt would no about shipping jobs overseas.

  • JustPixelz

    Mitt's been talking long enough to explain the math in his plan. I hope Paul Ryan is watching.

  • coolhandnuke

    'I like green energy too"
    No Mitt Mountain Dew won't propel your Cadillac to the Country Club.

  • mavenmaven

    Oh, there was his other zinger about solyndra.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    There goes Romney's chance for election. He just suggested that it may be possible to get rid of oil subsidies some day.

  • ChuckieJesus

    IT'S TIME TO END IT. FUCK YEAH.

  • Simple J Malarkey

    I thought it was about to get interesting when O started talking about the schoolteacher he met in Vegas.

  • Mittaplasia

    …Psst! "Green Energy" is Mittspeak for MONEY MOJO.

  • SorosBot

    And, to anyone who hates Big Bird like Mitt Romney, I dare you to watch this and not cry:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjFbz6vGU8

    • ChuckieJesus

      *blub*

  • Terry

    Jim Leher has lost control

  • Tilley

    "I've been in business for 25 years"?! OH RILLLY MITTENS? Doing WHAT?! Come ON Barry! Quit being so fucking POLITE!!

  • chascates

    Oh, governors do GREAT when the fed gives them cash!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is bad folks.

    please tell me i'm wrong.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      It's bad. Mitt's walking away with, even though he's a lying sack of shit.

    • Serfville

      I missed the first 1/2 hour, I'm trying to get the buzz on this. Holy crap, everyone here thinks Prez is losing? What is going on? I can't believe it.

  • miss_grundy

    Mittens doesn't understand about taking a company overseas???? How many companies has he broken up AND TAKEN OVERSEAS??????

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    I'm sorry, guys, but I'm done. This is just too depressing. I hope that, when I come back tomorrow, I'll see all of your comments point in a "Hey! Obama really pulled his shit together!" direction. I'm not seeing that now. It's time to curl up in bed with a good book and pull the covers over my head, thereby hyperventilating.

    • Negropolis

      Obama's not killing it like he should be, but he's far from losing this thing. You probably do need to retire for the night to get a clearer head.

    • finallyhappy

      Who cares-is anyone going to change their minds because of the debate? But I would be interested in any book suggestions!

    • AbandonHope_

      Here's the thing: Obama starts off well. And then Mitt starts interrupting and butting in and babbling in his sociopath CEO way, and Lehrer doesn't do a damned fucking thing, and Obama can't respond fast enough, because like an actual intelligent human being he stops and thinks before talking and you just can't do that in this sort of format.

    • SorosBot

      Have you been watching the same debate? Mitt has proven himself to be a total asshole who even admitted that he hate Big Bird.

  • Jerri

    Manage your poor as you think best = not caring for them at all.

    • Terry

      Mitt will transfer the responsibility to the States but not give them the bucks. Most States won't be able to afford it

      • Jerri

        That too.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    I think my racisometer just started beeping.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Tampa Bay 4 – Orioles 0 in the 8th. When they're finished with the umpire at the ball game ship him out to Denver post haste. "Lehrer: to the showers!"

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "laboratories of Democracy"?

  • salt_bagel

    And lo, Romney said, "Manage your poor the way you see best."

  • AbandonHope_

    Government only picks the losers? Yeah, like that awful GM. Boy, man, I remember when that company crashed and burned and sent unemployment rocketing up to 30 percent.

  • Negropolis

    Someone pull Romney's plug, already. He's grating on my ears something most vicious.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    New Jersey: The Laboratory of Democracy

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Is anyone else just gonig "Argh!"?

  • proudgrampa

    Rrrrraaammblin' Rrrromney.

    Jesus.

  • Steverino247

    Is Obama playing rope-a-dope with Mittens? Letting him punch himself out then BAM!

    • C_R_Eature

      Man, I hope so.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt doesn't give a shit. He's moving to Kolob.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    I have to say the http://www.democracynow.org coverage really puts things in perspective. Barack and Mitt are arguing over the scraps. Rocky Anderson and Jill Stein both have bigger ideas on the economy.

  • FraAnima

    I had a friend who said picking winners losers – stocks – blah blah yes lovey, pass me the champagne.

  • chascates

    Ooh, ooh, do famous realist painters for $200!

    • redarmyzombie

      What is "Hitler"?

      • chascates

        You know who else said his opponents were Communists?

        • C_R_Eature

          Nixon was a painter?

          • chascates

            Specialized in white wash.

        • redarmyzombie

          Chaing Kai-Shek?

          • PennyDreadful

            Now, there's a name I haven't heard in a while.

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Gohmert?

    • tessiee

      Anyone other than Jon McNaughton.

  • AbandonHope_

    Jim Lehrer's performance here may very well be the worst debate moderation I have ever seen. Ever.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Barry, just call him out on his magic underwear whole fucking goddamn existence.

  • JustPixelz

    Waiting for Romney to speak in a complete paragraph. Or a complete sentence.

  • Barbara_

    Do you see a major difference between you two on Social Security?

    Yes, Mitt wants to take the "security" part out.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      And then the "social" part.

  • Sassomatic

    Romney just told Jim Leher he's going to cut at least one American job.

  • OzoneTom

    Gov Romney got to talk first and last in that segment.

    Plus, mention of "solyndra " deserves a drink.

    • Terry

      I love Jim, but he's lost control

  • sudsmckenzie

    Tomorrow Mitt will post -baptize Big Bird.

  • MegPasadena

    It looks like Obama really wants to punch Mitt now.
    He is trying hard to hold it back.

    • Jerri

      He needs to do it (with words).

  • chascates

    His 'pretend' grandparents. Not the communist ones.

  • http://www.wonkette.com wsbloodystump

    "I have no idea what you are talking about"–DONE

  • larrykat

    Holy shit, Mitt brings up the boozer Tommy Thompson for chrissakes? That should be an automatic DQ right there.

  • BarryOPotter

    Come on, Barry, we know about your family. What I want to know is why your foot isn't connecting with Mitt's ass, rhetorically, of course…

  • Wadisay

    Romney will demand equal time to tell us how shitty Ann's fucking tuna pasta tasted.

  • Come here a minute

    Granny Dunham — Fuck you son of a auto industry magnate.

  • MegPasadena

    Mitt talks fast so he can jam in more lying shit in his 2 minutes.

    • Barbara_

      I just gave a shout out to you on Twitter for your comment. Excellent! Thank you.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Okay. My dude just hit his stride. I think he's bringin' out the shiv, now.

  • Trannysurprise

    The hills… the mountains…

    Talk about your purple mountains majesty.

    Just fantastic…….. Green fields. Purple mountains.

    And the roads – black – cutting through the green. All the colors… the trees…

    Pennsylvania is nice too.

  • One_Man_Band

    Goddammit – has Bamz learned nothing from Karl Rove? ATTACK, DON'T DEFEND.

  • Jennyjen798

    Ugh, Romney just gets to ramble on willy nilly in what resembles a meth induced rant and Barry is acting and looking super oldz. Come on Bamz, get on this shit!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Obama won this debate because Willard was just a yammering idiot.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Romney must be wondering "When do we get to talk about how I hate China?"

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i think romney's doing just fine. as i am not watching tv, please tell me the radio is wrong.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Actually, both are doing fine. Romney is speaking fast, and he needs more than a tie. Obama is his normal cool self.

    • chascates

      China must have fucked him good on a couple of deals.

  • larrykat

    Romney doesn't like Simpson-Bowles because he has his OWN plan to rape your poor asses.

  • chascates

    I'm 58 and I'm listening like a desperate motherfucker.

  • Humberto_Echo

    Mitt looks like he has lost some weight. Is he back on the instant coffee?

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitt just dissed Ryan's budget plan – someone's getting the cold should tonight…

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    If you're 60 or around 60 or older, you don't need to be listening. You're probably going to die soon if you're not wealthy anyway.

    • Come here a minute

      And if you listen you might think I'm an asshole, SO PLEASE STOP LISTENING!

    • finallyhappy

      Oh good I'm just 59

  • JustPixelz

    Romney just interrupted himself! Do the other two guys need to be at this meeting?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      yeah.

  • Jerri

    People over 60, don't listen. Just throw your kids under the bus.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    FUNCTION_MITTBOT_SWEAT_ROUTINE_ACTIVATED

  • FakaktaSouth

    Any CURRENT retirees, you hear that young people? You ARE FUCKED. OH wait, I meant, Obama is trying to fuck you through streamlining Medicare, but NOT ME. I LOVE ENTITLEMENTS.
    I hate Mitt Romney. I hate him.

    • Terry

      What programs, Mitt? How about specifics.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    $716 Billion- drink!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Cool, Romney is now defending insurance companies and corporate hospitals.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Barack is smiling. WTF does he know that Mitt don't?

    Oh, wait. Right. Everything.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Srsly? Obama somehow fucked up Medicare?

    HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE DO THAT MITT.

  • AlterNewt

    Dear Mr. President,

    Draw blood.

    Thanks,
    AlterNewt

  • Negropolis

    Oh boy, the Medicare lie. Barry bet hit this shit out of the park on his response.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    I don't know what bums me out more…. Hussein's performance, or the impending celebratory screeching from the right that's flowing down the pipe.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Just pull the plug on Grandma. And Mitt's mic.

  • SorosBot

    Oh my imaginary god, Mitt is repeating the completely discredited $700,000 Medicarcuts lie? What the fuck?

  • susiepop

    Why oh why won't my president say "Bain Capital"? Two little words. Bain. Capital.

  • Radiotherapy

    Get 'em Obama, get 'em. On this $716 billion bullshit.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Why won't these two just fuck?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Ah the angry fuck.

    • glamourdammerung

      Why won't these two just fuck?

      Have you seen the demanded punishment for "race-mixing" in Bishop Romney's faith?

  • larrykat

    Bamz doesn't look good when he looks pissed off. We need more of that million-watt smile.

  • AddHomonym

    Here comes the Paul Ryan zinger, let's hope.

  • chascates

    Governor, you sure sound a lot like President Bush. Whassup with that?

  • Wadisay

    I am writing Obama's closing statement: My fellow Americans, do you want to look at this twitchy bitch for the next four years? No. I rest my case.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      [mic drop]

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Obama has that "you amuse me, my American friend" grin now.

  • ph7

    Mitt McDuck's' ability to remember numbers is impressive.

    • YasserArraFeck

      he has a separate numerics subroutine

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Barack is smiling. WTF does he know that Mitt don't?

  • Radiotherapy

    Groupon.

  • SorosBot

    And Mittens is incredulous that Obama doesn't support destroying Medicare. Strange.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Is Romney asking Obama about Romney's plan??????????

  • larrykat

    Oh good, we're only going to fuck people younger than 55! Shit I'm 52.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Oh jesus, Mitt's telling those 60 and over they don't have to listen any more.

  • VinnyThePooh

    "Interrupt me again, dickhead. I fuckin' dare you."

  • Come here a minute

    "Congressman Ryan" = Drink (if you have anything left. Do no use rubbing alcohol!)

  • BoroPrimorac

    Mitt making old people look away right before talking about Obama's cuts is fucking genius.

  • Zango Crudmonger

    C'mon Bamz, break out a fucking bat and smack the cocktards' policies. Offense!!

  • Jerri

    God, Mitt is so creepy when he's listening. His magnanimous face is disturbing.

  • smashaduck

    The good news, if you're over 55, you won't have to do anal to pay for your pills. But pucker up, bitch!

  • Barbara_

    A year from now, Mitt Romney's title will still be Governor.

  • Biff

    I think that's a lump of clean coal on (R)Money's flag pin.

  • MegPasadena

    Mitt's plan is to jam in so many new numbers and lies so Obama doesn't know how to reply.
    But O seems to be ignoring that and sticking to the script.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    CHUCKLE!! DRINK!!!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    I got melted chocolate all over my keyboard. Drink?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      That's not chocolate.

  • C_R_Eature

    Vouchercare, Def.:

    It's OK, Old People! WE won't harm your Medicare, but we're really going to fuck with your Kid's medicare – if it survives!

    Wadda you care? You'll be dead! HAHAHAHAHA

  • Terry

    AARP supports Barry, suck it Mitt

  • VinnyThePooh

    I'm waiting for a Colorado hiking boot to hit Mitt right in his mouth.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Mitt makes a huffing sound like a hyena trying to keep quiet after smelling a lion. Is that supposed to be a laugh?

  • coolhandnuke

    Hey lehrer switch from the math portion of this SAT word salad numbers bullshit and move into some social issues that truly separate the two.

  • Trannysurprise

    Ok Olds – listen the fuck up.

    The Romneybot is going to take your Medicare and shove it down your toilet that has the little chair built on top. Then Ryan is going to give you a coupon to take out on the town to see if any doctors will take it without laughing your old ass back out on to the bus.

    I, President Bammerz, won't change a God Damn thing.

    Thank you and good night.

    • schvitzatura

      Can we at least get a courtesy flush here? Geez!

  • Radiotherapy

    Single Payer Now!

  • BathroomGoblin

    This is killing me.

    • AddHomonym

      No kidding.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Hang in there.

  • Theywontlisten

    maybe a beer will keep me from trying to punch that smirk off of shit romney's face and fuck up my tv

  • Negropolis

    Come on, Barry. Call Mitt on the Medicare lie, directly.

    • Radiotherapy

      Why won't he??!?

      • Negropolis

        The $700 billion lie is so blatant that it's crying to be addressed.

  • proudgrampa

    The Rmoney smirk. Again.

  • Beowoof

    Lying mother fucker Rmoney

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Mitt has to stop smiling like an idiot or I am changing the channel!

    • Biff

      It is on every channel.

  • chascates

    The young and cynical. Like my boys.

  • BarryOPotter

    Jim, tell Mitt "Answer the goddamn question, Robot!"

  • smashaduck

    Do you think Ann has a safe word specified in the prenup to make him shut the fuck up?

  • chascates

    I want me some of those low insurance plans.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      They will be in China.

  • larrykat

    OK, repeat the lie slowly Mitt, so we can all truly understand what a lying fuckwit you are. Jump on this Barry!

  • C_R_Eature

    Ryan supported taking $716 Bil out of the program too, you lying bastard!

  • Beowoof

    Oh shit, I should I have stayed on the ellipitical

  • redarmyzombie

    Notice how Willard never actually responds to anything Obama says about his own policies.

  • Terry

    Mitt's delusional on Medicare

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    YOUR VP VOTED FOR THE SAME $716 BILLION IN CUTS, YOU FUCK! AND THEY ARE NOT CUTS THAT AFFECT BENEFITS!

    Need more medical marijuana.

  • Come here a minute

    I LIKE TO FIRE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Mitt, that's because you can actually AFFORD health care.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "I'd rather have a private plan." NO SHIT, WILLARD.

    • Terry

      He blew a dog whistle there. Doesn't want the government making his health decisions.

  • Beowoof

    Oh yeah Mitt can fire people. His favorite.

  • chascates

    For example my wife Ann shouldn't get shit from Medicare.

  • larrykat

    Mitts eyes are shiny.

  • MegPasadena

    Mitt's plans are all magical.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Rmoney is coming off like a fast-talking salesman trying to do a deal, slick and slimey. Obama looks and sounds like POTUS.

    • AbandonHope_

      And because the typical American slob is a fucking moron, this is bad news. Because these are the idiots who "would be stupid NOT to get the extended warranty!".

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i want to believe this. this is not what i'm hearing (on the radio only – no tv).

      i'm hearing in romney in charge and no one fucking stopping him.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        They say if you watch a debate without the sound you will know who the winner is. I hope that's better than what I'm listening to.

  • Jerri

    "I'd rather have a private plan". Fuck you Mitt.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Mitt just said he would cut Medicare.

  • Wadisay

    Jim Lehrer pulls up to a MacDonalds window.

    JL: "Hello, I want to order…"
    Scratchy Voice: "To hell with you, bitch; I decided what you want to order!!!

  • chascates

    ALL insurance companies love providing for aging, often sick people about to run up tens of thousands in final bills.

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitt would LIKE to have a private plan? Fucker, you HAVE a private plan, because you can afford one. What about those Americans, let's say 47% of the people, can't afford a private plan, then what do that do? Mitt: "Fuck 'em."

  • JustPixelz

    Astonishing that Repubicans are always complaining about government waste then complain when someone cuts, say, $716B in wasteful government spending.

  • SorosBot

    Competition into the Medicare world, really? How the fuck can you suggest that when the free market is the fucking problem.

  • cognachas4paws

    I wish I could slap that smirk right off of Romney's face.

    • glamourdammerung

      I wish I could slap that smirk right off of Romney's face.

      I am still not entirely sure how/why no one did just that after his smirking over the deaths of our people in Libya.

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    We can just print the money!

  • larrykat

    Quote from my wife: "So this means we are going to pay through the nose." Her incisiveness is one reason I married her.

  • Barbara_

    "If I don't like them, I can just get another insurance company" (on the issue of Medicare) Yes Mitt, insurance companies are so welcoming to old people and people with pre existing medical conditions.

  • Radiotherapy

    Smirk-scribble
    Smirk-scribble

  • C_R_Eature

    "I'd Rather Have An Insurance Company"!? "So I can FIRE them if I don't Like Them"!?

    What fucking Planet are you living on, Romney?

  • chascates

    SHUT UP! I HAVE AN EMMY!!!

  • FraAnima

    Oh for fuck's sake. I HATE mittens with the heat of a thousand burning white hot suns.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Mitt, Jim is older than you.

  • MegPasadena

    Romney: Profits and overheads will save money for medicare.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Romney looks like he climaxes every time he hears the word money.

  • RoseOsanantone

    Jim! SHUT THE MIKE DOWN!! Mitten's isn't following the rules!

  • DemonicRage

    Why is President Obama letting Romney get away with this accusation that he (Obama) has pulled 716 million (billion) dollars out of current Medicare by lowering fees paid to doctors and hospitals? Why is this going unchallenged?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    9:40 PM — Obama doesn’t get why Exxon Mobil gets tax breaks. (The answer is because they’re Exxon Mobil.) He also met a poor lady in Las Vegas, who does not get any tax breaks. An autistic kid, a hobo, a cooper, a barnsmith, a crackhead! President Obama meets a lot of fuck-ups on the trail.

    I see a modern Canterbury Tales. Or at least Wizard of Oz.

  • susiepop

    Also too, Mittens looks a little rosy around the beak. Does him have a cold? Did him forget to brown up for this?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mitt is regular … great.

  • Jerri

    You can tell Mitt is a businessman because nobody can interrupt him and he has to dominate the conversation. Also because he's a dick.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      this is SO pissing me off. i hope it's hoping reading badly on tv tho i fear it isn't.

      • Redgyal

        You mean like people thinking that he was right to talk over a blah person?

    • Jerri

      That should play well for him during delicate foreign policy discussions in the alternate universe in which he is elected president.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Romney is totally running roughshod over the mod and getting away with it.

    • Come here a minute

      And looking like a fucking idiot.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        That's the only thing that keeps me from popping a blood vessel. I suspect that's why Barack's letting him do it. He looks like a total asshole.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yes.

  • EdFlintstone

    I feel all the Mittmentum of an Osmonds reunion concet.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Why is Jim Lehrer so ineffectual?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      It's like he's not even familiar with a 'gosub…return'

    • chascates

      Age.

    • Katydid

      He's Zombie Jim Lehrer, didn't you read that he died 7 years ago?

  • Serfville

    Mr. wishy washy Mittens, yes, no, maybe, take a stand on something!

  • Trannysurprise

    So Romney is all for regulation now? SHUT UP YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT YOU KNOW YOU FUCKING HATE REGULATION.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Everything out of his mouth is a lie. So far, anyway. My sound just cut out.

  • chascates

    It makes bankers unhappy!

  • JustPixelz

    Romney complaining about regulation. He also does't like Lehrer regulating the debate.

  • subsum

    "You can't have a free market work without regulation…" This fucker flip flops more than Snookie's boobs. He's said millions of times that regulation is bad but, tonight, hes saying what he thinks the audience wants to hear. Fucking hypocrite.

  • slithytoves

    Lehrer fail.

  • chascates

    I have my own regulation plan, of course.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    The Democrats have dropped the ball since the beginning of the healthcare debate on the idea that competition or choice exists as to healthcare insurers — for the vast majority, the choice is only your employers. They choose Aetna, Aetna is what you get. And, dammit, no one — not one person — has ever asked why healthcare is 18% of our economy — countries that get better results come at 9% or less.

  • mavenmaven

    this is really painful to watch. Romney just lies and lies and talks and lies and keeps on going like the energizer bunny.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mitt is on meth

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Maybe that was his diet Coke on the table!

    • Jennyjen798

      That's what I said a few pages back. He's straight running his mouth at 90 miles an hour.

    • slithytoves

      You think? Smells of desperation.

    • AlterNewt

      I don't know. He does have pretty nice teeth.

  • rocktonsam

    My bank is a garage now dickface

  • redarmyzombie

    Hey, is just me, or is Jim Lerher starting to get mad?

    • Beowoof

      God I hope so.

    • AlterNewt

      Well, you know, "Jim Lerher mad".

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        JIM LERHER SMASH ELECSUN

  • Doktor Zoom

    Volcker Rule, biotchez!!!

  • BarryOPotter

    Jimmy! Welcome! Where the hell have you been all this time?

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    ….damn his teeth are so white.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    FINALLY, Jim. FINA-fucking-LLY.

  • SorosBot

    Wait, how is any regulation bad for the economy? The big problem is that there has been way, way, way too little regulation, which allowed the financial industry to fuck the economy for all of us.

    • Terry

      Yeah, and that pesky environmental regs related to clean water and air. Who needs those?

  • AlterNewt

    I have never been so un-undecided in my life.

  • bringmeanaxe

    Did Romney just say 'Yo Mama'?? Oh, sorry, it was 'Obama'. My bad.

  • MegPasadena

    Jim did not let Mitt get his way: Let's not.

  • JustPixelz

    Dodd-Frank was a kiss? Is that some kind of non-heterosexual reference?

  • Radiotherapy

    WTF kind of Free Market shit is this? You need Regulation??!?

  • coolhandnuke

    Call him on his lies Barry…take off the fucking gloves and show some passion, energy, anger like you expressed in the 2007 "bombshell" video….great speech by the way. Rev Wright is a great man and Semper Fi

  • Mittaplasia

    As one of the olds, I'm having nightmares thinking about a Mittycare plan in my (doomed) future; Beavis said long ago, "The future SUCKS!"

  • Negropolis

    This debate is just bizzare. The president is relying on the kindness of the moderator to get a word in edge-wise. This is either the smartest tactic either to let Mitt walk all over himself, or it makes the president look docile and at the mercy of his opponent.

    I'm honestly not sure how this is going to play out in the media.

    EDIT: Damnit! Stop agreeing with your opponent, Barry. Even sarcastically.

  • Come here a minute

    Obama strategy: Don't complain about getting less time, give Governor Romney enough rope!

  • Beowoof

    Tough reforms on Wall Street, oh no Mittens has to be pissed at the thought, may even include disclosure of his overseas accounts.

  • larrykat

    Holy shit I need to go out for a smoke.. . thank allah for my DVR.

  • chascates

    Grandpa Simpson should moderate the next debate.

  • JustPixelz

    Romney interruptus is now an official medical condition.

  • HELisforHEL

    Fucking Mittens rude fucking bullshitting assfuck douchebag, typical loudmouth bowl-you-over obnoxious fucker. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    please tell me he's looking like an asshole.

    he's sounding like an asshole.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      He's treating the POTUS like a schoolboy, trying to look presidential. Undecideds will eat this shit up, because if they're still undecided it's because they're looking for superficials.

    • JustPixelz

      looks like an asshole
      talks like an asshole

    • C_R_Eature

      He's so much worse on TV.

  • BarryOPotter

    Obama, do not let this fucker cut you off. Finger in his face, stern look: "I'm not finished."

  • Radiotherapy

    You mean like Glass-Steagal?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Fuck you, Jim Lehrer! Don't let Romney interrupt like this!

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I kind of want Mitt to look a little scary, so it fires up the Obama people.
    (Long-ish view, people!)

  • chascates

    You don't know what a mortgage is! Your 'people' take care of that stuff!

  • Trannysurprise

    JIm Lehrer sucks at this as much as David Gregory.

    Apparently we just let fucking Romney cut in and blather his bullshit whenever he wants.

  • FlyOverGirl

    Both cats have tried to stick their heads into my wine glass. No wonder.

  • proudgrampa

    "Governor Romney is your candidate!"

    I'm gonna have a drink on that one.

  • miss_grundy

    When will Lehrer throw a gavel at Romney's face. And why is Bammerz being so fracking polite? Kick him in the teeth already, Bammerz!!!!

  • Biff

    POORZ BROKE TEH ECONOMY!

  • http://recessappointment.com Recessappt

    The last time I thought about a "regional bank" it was when they robbed it in Raising Arizona

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Twitter crashed, is this thread next?

  • SorosBot

    God, you idiot; the problem in this country is way too little regulation; there is no such animal as too little regulation here.

  • chascates

    That's not YOUR experience!

  • Wadisay

    C'mon, Barry, you're the PotUS and you just let some guy interrupt you who believes we were born on another planeti.

  • larrykat

    Romney – let the car companies fail – is worried about bizzness. What about that cleansing fire. dipshit?

  • larrykat

    I live right near Appleton! He lies! No one said that here.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Ah, so Romney is now going to thread the needle of Socialized Medicine is great for Massachusetts but not for anyone else.

  • chascates

    Single payer insurance is the only way to control exploding healthcare costs. But it costs insurers, pharmacy companies, and other huge medical businesses money.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Death panels! Drink!

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    So is Romney about to come out for single payer?

  • Doktor Zoom

    Death panels!!!

  • coolhandnuke

    Death panel dog whistle

  • Trannysurprise

    Why do all these poor people keep coming up to Romney bitching about what they can't afford. Didn't they see the 47% video? He doesn't fucking care about you so quit whining about your cancer or whatever.

  • C_R_Eature

    I have to say that, although Mitt seems like he's running away with the debate, he's just spewed out a whole lot of total bullshit that will be ripped apart in the post debate analysis. Also, he really comes off like a business salesman and not in a good way – if there is one.

    And only one of the people on stage is acting Presidential.

    And…I am so very disappointed in Jim Lerher right now.

    • AbandonHope_

      But Joe Fucktard doesn't pay attention whatsoever to post-debate analysis.

      • C_R_Eature

        I saw an analysis (have to look for it) that stated that most of the Presidential Debates didn't change the election one way of the other. I think the Reagan-Carter Debate would be the one that puts that study away.

        I do think, though , that most people have made up their minds already and, if not, just what in the hell are you waiting for?

    • proudgrampa

      Really, CR??? Mitt seems like he's just barely treading water…

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        i'll say this again, that's not what it sounds like on the radio. romney's walking away with it from what i can here.

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        i'll say this again, that's not what it sounds like on the radio. romney's walking away with it from what i can hear.

      • C_R_Eature

        I think Mitt's got his Debate prep well done and he's talking a lot and making lots of points. The fact that the points he's making are utter nonsense is obvious to anyone who's been paying attention over the years. Maybe it's just me, but I think Obama's strategy is letting him run on and on, biding his time to sink in a few well-placed swords.

    • Radiotherapy

      Willy Loman Libel.

      • C_R_Eature

        ISWYDT

  • FakaktaSouth

    Mitt Romney looks like he has the flu. He really looks like shit. Could the Telemundo make-up artist not be persuaded to do their thing again? He looks like Nixon when he decided make up was for gays and Kennedy kicked his ass. Mitt looks grosser than I have ever seen him. He sucks AND he's ugly.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I'd like to give Mitt a transvaginal ultrasound.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Mitt just resurrected Death Panels!!

  • chascates

    Yes, I'd rather pay my employees overtime rather than worry about healthcare for a new worker.

  • MegPasadena

    The cost of health care always goes up, not because of ACA.

  • Terry

    Mitt is bringing up the specter of Palin's death panels

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitt: "Obamacare? Fuck that! Let the poorz die!"

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, an unelected board making decisions on medical necessity is bad. But it is great when insurance companies do it.

  • rocktonsam

    "my state" which state is that Dickface?

    • mille derps

      State-of-the-art robotics?

  • Radiotherapy

    GODDAM THAT $716 BILLION BULLSHIT
    Its in their plan too.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    ok this is sounding better.

    bamz you need to get back in the game. you got 30 minutes.

    • susiepop

      COME ON FOR GODS SAKE GET BACK IN THIS GAME

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Be strong, you.

  • viennawoods13

    I just hate that shit-eating smirk on Romney's face while Obama is talking.

  • MegPasadena

    Mitt is a condescending bitch.

  • cognachas4paws

    Oh yes, let's repeal ObamaCare(s) and go back to the way it was, where our healthcare costs are over $7K per capita and Americans die two years earlier than those in the UK and three years earlier than Canadians. Best care anywhere? Not if you're poor.

  • Mittaplasia

    The first death panel was created on the same day as the first HMO. Coincidence? I think not.

  • SorosBot

    Wait, Romney has a problem with unelected board determing what treatment people have? THEN WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FOR-PROFIT COMPANIES MAKING DECISIONS ON HEALTH CARE?!

  • chascates

    THAT'S a death panel!

  • larrykat

    Mitt has donned his corpse smile. Mr. Sardonicus anyone?

  • BarryOPotter

    Both of you, it's not just small businesses, it's the people who WORK for, not own, the small businesses as well.

  • redarmyzombie

    OH MY GOD, WILLARD, OBAMA'S HEALTHCARE PLAN IS WORD FOR WORD, EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOURS. GET THAT FUCKING STRAIGHT!!!!

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Mittbott can't hide his lying eyes.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    There are not enough vodka tonics in the world tonight.

  • mille derps

    "Expensive things hurt families."

    So the car elevators are responsible for Romney's sons being liars?

  • ChuckieJesus

    He keeps lying about the $716 being taken from Medicare. Hasn't that been refuted, like, several hundred times? Granted, he's preaching to the choir who believes in Kenyan-born Manchurian Candidates.

  • Doktor Zoom

    I am not enjoying this nearly as much as I was hoping I would. I'm too busy raging.

    • C_R_Eature

      I'm doing this sober. My immediate environment is not pretty.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      you and me both man. i just shrieked upstairs (and i CAN shriek) 'why the fuck is romney talking so much'.

      well. if this is a fail we still have a month.

  • Katydid

    He's got a plan, people. Ssshhhh….you cannot know what it is. You isn't rich enough.

    • Radiotherapy

      Go to the quiet room.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Bams needs to stop treating this like a fucking oral argument in court and start getting some skin in the game. In other words, less Spock, more Kirk.

    >mfw the pundits declare Data the "winner" of this debate tomorrow morning/later tonight

    • Serfville

      I hate to say this but Prez needs more warmth, I agree. He needs to "feel the pain" stuff that Clinton does. He is coming off as colder than live wire juiced up Mittens. That is sad sad sad. Jeebus if Romney wins this election over these debates I'm moving to Canada, can't you just see Ryan in DC, cold making sure poors and sick people just die with no health care and whatever Nazi plans these idjets would implement.

      • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

        Cheer up. It's OK.
        He may be coming off cold, but he's Presidential.
        This performance will convince his supporters to get busy.

    • AbandonHope_

      Please don't compare Data to RMoney. Data has more fucking emotion in his middle finger than RMoney has in his whole slimy body.

  • OzoneTom

    My company's health care cost was increasing over 40% a year for several years until ACA became a threat. This past year there was no change in premiums and we got a 1% refund from the insurer.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    ooh "insurance companies can't jerk you around". Bamz is back!

    • emmachuur

      yess! moar cussin, ftw !

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    People don't want to reinflate their collapsed lungs! They want JOBS! They will wheel their own gurney to a good paying job, without the crushing burden of Obamacare!!

  • Crank_Tango

    Slightly OT, but why is there a pic of Gary Busey eating icecream on the front page here?

    • tessiee

      I know it's hard to believe, but Gary Busey is actually *whiter* than Mitt.
      And possibly crazier.

  • DemonicRage

    Whoooah! "The Insurance companies won't be able to JERK YOU AROUND!" President comes just a shade away from saying jerk off on national t-v!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Barry actually meant "Mitt you around".

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    oh snap!

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    "The irony is…."

    Hipsters drink

  • FraAnima

    SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE SMIRK SCRIBBLE

  • Doktor Zoom

    Heh. Romneycare.

  • Serfville

    Hit Romney with Massachusetts care now!

  • coolhandnuke

    Mitt 'Craft a health plan that fits a state's needs"
    bullshit Mitt, Alaska is no different from hawaii in terms of the health and welfare of all its' citizens.

  • Negropolis

    Barry, you DO NOT have to relitigate your health care plan. You are not on he defense, so stop acting like it.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      He's appealing to actual people and not corporations, and doing a good job.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      He's appealing to actual people and not corporations, and doing a good job.

      He's not reacting to Romney's inflammatory rhetoric.

      Wait, what?

  • Biff

    Tell him, Hopey!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Anyone notice that Romney seems to be talking very fast? Obama is his usual lecturer cadence.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      He sounds like he snorted some coke.

  • Radiotherapy

    Nobody pulled the plug on grannie!

  • JustPixelz

    Romney doesn't want an unelected board deciding what kind of health care he can get. Obviously Romney has never dealt with an insurance company.

  • chascates

    Lehrer would make a shitty couples therapist.

  • Sassomatic

    Oh yes, please please babel on desperately.

  • just_a_head

    The Xanax has no power against Mittens!!! I feel the rage buildîng.

  • Trannysurprise

    I'm starting to hate Jim Lehrer more by the minute. No wonder Romney wants to fire his ass.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I don't recall Bamz hitting McCain with a chair. Don't let your desire to see him hit Mitt with a chair color your appraisals.

    Holy fuck. I must be loaded!!!!!!!!!!

  • MegPasadena

    The audience broke silence about the 5 seconds line.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Jim sounds like a marriage counselor. Look at Barry and tell him why he makes you angry. Tell him how you feel. Look him in the eyes and tell him what you don't like down your throat. Just ew.

  • AbandonHope_

    Yeah, Lehrer, let's try and cut Obama off, but let RMoney start and end every fucking question and talk for ten minutes straight. Will you let him do that when he cuts PBS funding and hands you your pink slip?

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "Nancy Pelosi"- Drink!

  • mavenmaven

    Lehrer gives every last word to Romney, its really offensive.

    • HELisforHEL

      I know…wtf

  • susiepop

    Where the fuck is the gifted orator we elected?

    • bloggingbalkanistan

      Obama is a great public speaker, but I don't think he has a reputation for being a great debater.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt needs a drink.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt needs a drink of milk.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Jesus, Mitt's such a frat boy.

  • JustPixelz

    Good move Romney: Remind Massachusetts that Scott Brown voted against Obamacare. Elizabeth Warren thanks you.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    OH SERIOUSLY ARE YOU WHINING ABOUT THERE BEING NO REPUBLICAN VOTES FOR THE ACA? Okay, now I will kill MItt Romney. With votes, of course.

  • Radiotherapy

    Pelosi, Reid, Obama.
    $716 billion ad nauseum

  • Radiotherapy

    Pelosi, Reid, Obama.
    $716 billion ad nauseum.

  • AlterNewt

    We demand more MEANINGLESS PLATITUDES!

  • RawhideRawlins

    Ok, ya'll can smoke now(cept for Bams and me)

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Who are you
    Who who who who
    Who are you
    Who who who who

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    ♪♫ Who are you
    Who who who who
    Who are you
    Who who who who ♫♪

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I want to punch my tv so hard (with votes) everything Mitt says is LIES.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    I think that was the coin toss– Obama got first response, Romney got last.

  • Mittaplasia

    …Romney reminiscing about his Rino days…

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Also, didn't Mitt veto the bill and was overridden?

  • MegPasadena

    20 million people losing insurance due to ACA? WTF?

  • JustPixelz

    All those terrible things that Obamacare causes! The poor people of Massachusetts — how they suffer.

  • cognachas4paws

    Romney would not have been enacted in Massachusetts without a major infusion of cash from the federal government into their Medicaid program. He seems to forget to mention that all the time.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Which is a big problem as far as how people will react viscerally. BO is saying "uh" too much. That's a problem right there.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      He always says "uh" if he is not giving a speech.

  • Trannysurprise

    Jim: OK Mitt you've spoken for 10 minutes.

    Jim: Mr. President you now have 5 seconds.

  • Radiotherapy

    Go Obama, it was a Repug idea. It was Romneycare.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Mitt's TERRIBLE at this. One thing I will say about REAL Repubs is that they sell their stupid bullshit better than Mitt. He keeps stumbling over his Republitard talking points. Oops, not medi, I mean OBAMAcare, you hear? I am using OUR words y'all.

  • ChuckieJesus

    $716 billion fib again. I'd get alcohol poisoning if my poison was alcohol.

  • NellCote71

    Yes. Well past his bedtime.

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    To leave a whole bunch of people dead on the street.

  • Boojum

    He sounds like a bad one.

  • slithytoves

    My cats are going batshit in my house – I'm telling you, Mitt's freakout is contagion.

    • BlueStateLibel

      I kid you not, but mine are too. Something about that mile-a-minute weasel voice is driving them crazy.

    • Come here a minute

      Seriously, cats always are batshit. But believe what you want to believe, like the Mormons.

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    Time management that's crazy!

  • chascates

    Just like how the right wants to pay teachers: based on performance.

  • NellCote71

    Waiter. Whatever Blueb is having.

  • Wadisay

    C'mon, Barry, remind them that your opponent stood there like a deer in the headlights when a crowd at the Republican debates cheered uninsured people dying.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Illogical. That would require a showing of emotion, Captain.

      Fuckin a, where's the B. Hussein Obama who wiped the floor with McCain? Looking Presidential isn't enough to take down a vulture capitalist like Money.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    He's a brilliant speech maker. He's never been good off the cuff.

  • AlterNewt

    I have to say, I'm enjoying the "No howling villagers" rule.

  • just_a_head

    The Xanax has no power against Mittens!!! I feel the rage build

  • coolhandnuke

    Hey kids I'm loading the hookah any takers?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    me too. just freaked them out.

  • chascates

    It happens RARELY in the private marketplace.

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    I love it when Obama zinged RMoney for saying those 3% of bidnesses are the jawb queators and as a matter of disagreement, Romney essentially said yes, yes they are. Also on the voucher program…Obama says something negative about it, Romney agrees with what negative thing he said by lying about "competition". See RMoney, back when you were getting your first pair of magic underwear Medicare was passed because the "private marketplace" was forcing olds to live off catfood with their rates.

  • larrykat

    This is too boring for the average undecided voter to be watching – so Obama wins by default – no minds will be changed by this exercise.

  • http://s841.photobucket.com/albums/zz333/Extemporanus/ Extemporanus

    OOPS!

    Sorry, everyone…that was me.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Did you fart?

      • http://s841.photobucket.com/albums/zz333/Extemporanus/ Extemporanus

        In Sir Romney's general direction?

        No, alas — I just tripped over his power cord, and his batteries kicked in.

        (However, I did just blow a long overdue and heartfelt "Thank You" kiss in your general direction, my brave knight in rusty armor…)

      • http://s841.photobucket.com/albums/zz333/Extemporanus/ Extemporanus

        In Sir Romney's general direction?

        No, alas — I just tripped over his power cord, and his batteries kicked in.

        (However, I did just blow a long overdue and heartfelt "Thank You" kiss in your general direction, my brave knight in rusty armor…)

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Not that he'd be able to tell. I can't find your comment among the millions, so here's hoping you get this.You're very welcome! And thank you for posting that information so that all who have eyes may see and understand.Mwah, baby. In a totally not-gay sorta way, of course.

  • Radiotherapy

    Death Panels!!1!

  • chascates

    NO, they try to find a way to make money in private markets.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Mitt: Blah, blah, blah.

    I can't take another minute of this lame fucker.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    In what universe is child coverage through the age of 26 already in the private marketplace? Is that in tha marketplace where the rich people shop? Because in the marketplace where I shop they don't have those plans.

  • chascates

    Some of my best friends own hospitals.

  • Katydid

    Ya know, at first I thought Bammerz, what the hell are you doing, but now Mittens looks desperate and hyper, and I realize our Prez is doing the old rope-a-dope! Yay Bammerz!!!!!

    • Radiotherapy

      float like a butterfly, zing like a bee.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yeah, it took me a minute to get it too. He's making Mitt look like a hamster on speed.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Private enterprise does a great job of reducing costs. They let people die.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt's chip just boosted his mic.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Gah! President Obama is the fucking Invisible Man?!?

  • JustPixelz

    Romney: Government can't bring down the cost of anything.

    That's why the Postal Service delivers a letter for 45 cents while at Fed Ex it only costs $10.

    • Terry

      …and why Medicare has a lower overhead than private insurance.

      Medicare got my mother a Frickin pacemaker and ended up paying only $400 which was mostly for the ambulance. NO insurance company would do that.

  • Mittaplasia

    Romney wants to take all the poors and olds up in airplanes flying at 30,000 feet with the windows open, saying it would do them good to get some fresh air.

  • Come here a minute

    Animated GIF >>>>> actual debate.

    Thanks, Ken!

  • BathroomGoblin

    Mitt: I can name several hospitals.

    • redarmyzombie

      Mitt has friends who own hospitals.

  • Serfville

    Now Romney is Ron Paul. Who the fuck are you Mittens? Kock Bros butt boy? Mittens swings wherever the wind blows.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Romney had a LITTLE too much Red Bull tonight.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh, you think so too.

  • AbandonHope_

    Yes, Lehrer, yes, let's let the governor talk more. By all means, let him talk more. In fact, let's just stop letting Obama talk altogether! Let's just let Mitt blather on, spewing lie after lie, over and over, without ever letting Obama rebut him! What the fuck's a debate?

    Seriously, what the fuck sort of Nazi pep rally am I watching here!?

  • Trannysurprise

    Tell us about innovation Mitt while I swallow this $32 aspirin from my hospital bed.

  • chascates

    If your wealthy it works out best.

  • redarmyzombie

    Okay, speaking as a young person, I can attest that Romney here is wrong: the private market did NOT let young people stay on their parents insurance like Obamacare does.

    And again, notice how he never actually answers the question.

  • BornInATrailer

    Why the fuck did I rush home for this shit? Oh, right, the wine.

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Didn't Romney recently say that the emergency room was the treatment for the poors? Will Barry please bring this up.

    Debating with a lying sociopath really sucks.

  • MegPasadena

    Mitt really hates the board. But all the corporations have boards.

  • Radiotherapy

    Yes, profit, profit, profit to the middleman.
    The private market always works best, like the military-industrial complex.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Now Romney is just repeating lies that he culled from rightwing blogs in 2009.

  • Warpde

    Mitt on the attacks.
    Pres on the facts.
    Who will win, who will win?
    Show them balls Mr. President, show them balls.

  • SorosBot

    What the fuck was that? Romney actually tried to defend the private market, even though that sucks?

  • NellCote71

    Alas, I fear it is too subtle for reality TV land.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    This is devolving into minutia.

  • BarryOPotter

    If you propose to scrape an existing plan and replace with another that is much the same, then you'd be wasting government resource, logically speaking…

  • MegPasadena

    Obama points out Mitt's lie about preexisting conditions.

  • Schmannnity

    Schmannity's Plan: Cut taxes, increase spending, balance budget, smoke a bowl, rinse, repeat.

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    RMoney's "deficit neutral" tax cuts are entirely dependent upon "economic growth" which is not a constant or completely measurable quantity so in other words, he's lying. Of course Dubya said his tax cuts would be "deficit neutral' by increased economic growth and gee whiz, the numbers didn't bear it out because "economic growth" is a heavily DEPENDENT variable and economists always get it fucking wrong. So Romney is heavily overstating the amount of growth his tax cuts will increase which even when accounted for shows a huge deficit.

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    RMoney's "deficit neutral" tax cuts are entirely dependent upon "economic growth" which is not a constant or completely measurable quantity so in other words, he's lying. Of course Dubya said his tax cuts would be "deficit neutral' by increased economic growth and gee whiz, the numbers didn't bear it out because "economic growth" is a heavily DEPENDENT variable and economists always get it fucking wrong. The fact is, in this era of bullshit labratory economic experiments being made into law (which are simple projections with heavy qualifiers lots of incorrected projections amongst supply-siders), why would ANYONE who isn't a dumb fucking wingnut think tax cuts of this size will be offset? It's fucking unbelievable. So Romney is heavily overstating the amount of growth his tax cuts will increase which even when accounted for shows a huge deficit.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    ok best gif and thank you ken/jim/rebecca

  • sudsmckenzie

    Hopey's flat tonight, I hope Honey BooBoo was on.

  • Serfville

    I want to hear the summation, this is making me sick. I need some Obamacare now!

  • Jerri

    Mitt Romney has shitty social interaction skills. I don't like it.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Just got back from the bar. Is this still on? I am goood and fup duck.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Just got home from the bar. Is this still on? I am goood and fup duck.

    Edit: It is! Go Bamz!!!

  • AlterNewt

    Dear Mr. President,

    Sorry to bother you again, but maybe try being a little less reasonable,switch tactics and

    Make him bleed!

    Thanks.

    Your pal,

    AlterNewt

  • AlterNewt

    Dear Mr. President,

    Sorry to bother you again, but maybe try being a little less reasonable;switch tactics and

    Make him bleed!

    Thanks.

    Your pal,

    AlterNewt

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Nope. He's gonna let Mitt go all out looking more and more frantic, and then on the 2nd or 3d debate, he's gonna kick Mitt's ass.

      • AlterNewt

        I hope you're right. I would enjoy seeing Romney looking like (as you put it) a hamster on speed.

  • JustPixelz

    Romney's secret plans are too good? zing

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    oh i was wrong. bamz is saying it.

  • DemonicRage

    Good line: Is Romney keeping all these plans secret because they're all good?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Great tweet from Patton Oswalt: "'Gentlemen, PLEASE…'– Jim Lehrer, at 3:12 a.m., as Romney begins his recounting of the plot of PRACTICAL MAGIC"

  • subsum

    This debate format stinks. That's all I have to say.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Reagan" drink!

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    shot

  • Radiotherapy

    Reagan!!11

  • Serfville

    Gawd, that condescending love smile, batting eyelashes Mittens gives Prez, while Prez is talking is disgusting

  • BathroomGoblin

    Jim Lerher's worst day.
    I cringe.

  • Jerri

    Reagangasm.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hopey needs to say that is just bullshit.
    Sayit!

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitt's being such a bully tonight. Jim, he's going to cut your hair, better watch yer 6!

  • AbandonHope_

    I fully expect Jim Lehrer to stand up and start meandering about the stage, McCain-style, at this point. Fucking impotent clown.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      "Mr. Puddles?! Come to papa Mr. Puddles!"

  • Schmannnity

    Jim Lehrer, you spineless pussy.

    • glasspusher

      You mean "appearing unbiased"

    • JustPixelz

      a spineless pussy is the best kind. and a spineless cock is the worst kind.

  • redarmyzombie

    And there we go, everyone. Ronald Reagen, how did I know he was going to say that?

  • Terry

    Romney is giving Reagan a metaphorical b.j. Right now

  • viennawoods13

    FUCK YOU!! How dare you talk about president working with Congress, when Congress sat down and REFUSED to work with Obama!! FUCK YOU!!

    • MegPasadena

      +10000

  • Beowoof

    Why I know, it will be Magic, just like on Kolob
    .

  • Trannysurprise

    Jim Lehrer is getting run the fuck over by Romney. He's like a little brat in school that MUST have the last word.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That's how he got where he is today. He's important, you're not.

  • MuddyMaeSuggins

    Fuck me gently with a chainsaw – he lets this bullshit interrupt again! WTF Lehrer?

  • One_Man_Band

    What the fuck, Hopey. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Quit with the reasonable explaining and act like you actually give a shit about something.

    • Nothingisamiss

      EXACTLY.

  • mavenmaven

    Lehrer did it again, let Romney go on after Obama's comment. Really out of control.

    • One_Man_Band

      New rules: Romney gets the first and last word on every exchange.

    • MegPasadena

      He did not really reply to O, but opened up another subject.

  • chascates

    Mitt sure sounds like an insurance salesman. He has a plan for everything.

  • Jennyjen798

    OH HEY I'M JUST GOING TO TALK ALL OVER YOU GUYS! AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'LL JUST START MY OWN LIVE BLOGGING RIGHT HERE ON WONKETTE BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT?! MODERATORS NEED NOT APPLY!

    • AbandonHope_

      NO NO YOU'RE WRONG NO WAIT IF I COULD JUST ANSWER NO WAIT I HAVE TO ADDRESS THAT NO SHUT UP

  • BarryOPotter

    "Look, let's be honest for a minute. 47% of the people, I don't give a fuck what happens to them. I just want this job 'cause I gots me some plans…"

  • FraAnima

    Jim, make Mitt SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Beowoof

    There is Milton Friedman and the free market Fairy argument.

  • Come here a minute

    Tenth amendment! Shout out to Southern Racists!

  • Negropolis

    Obama's gonna have to cut a bitch in the next debate. The few undecideds left don't listen to the numbers, they look at the style, and the president needs to get WAY more aggressive.

    As it stands, Obama is letting that amoral asshole look like an equal, and HE IS NOT. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

    • Matthius_Phelan

      I think the way Obama smirks when Romney says total bullshit is kind of an opening salvo in a "No More Mr. Nice Guy" routine. There ARE some people who only watch the debates and then vote, Jim Lehrer for instance.

      • Matthius_Phelan

        Those people DEMAND a three act structure!!!!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      You've watched him do this before! He likes to start soft and slow and hit when the other person's not expecting it.

  • Negropolis

    Obama's gonna have to cut a bitch in the next election. The few undecideds left don't listen to the numbers, they look at the style, and the president needs to get WAY more aggressive.

    As it stands, Obama is letting that amoral asshole look like an equal, and HE IS NOT.

  • MegPasadena

    Broaden the base means making the very poor to pay income taxes, too.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    And whisking aside the 10th Amendment, says that lying smiling villain.

  • SorosBot

    TENTH AMENDMENT! It's another dogwhistle for racists; drink!

  • Katydid

    OK, so like I said, either Bammerz is doing the rope-a-dope, or he really reallly really doesn't want to be Preznit anymore. I think he's really not that into us anymore. :(

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt must really want to open a dialog with Tweety with all his Tip O'Neill crap.

  • chascates

    Never mind Grandpa Simpson, Aunt Bee from Mayberry would be a better moderator.

  • chascates

    Never mind Grandpa Simpson, Aunt Bea from Mayberry would be a better moderator.

  • Schmannnity

    States' Rights Romney!! Yeehaw!!!!

  • JustPixelz

    hey I just noticed Ken Layne is in the byline. Hi Ken! Obviously you were lured by the drinking game aspect of this gig. Wonkette is paying for the booze, right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    I hope the animated gif makes the page load faster!

    Also, too, you need to cheer me up, Wonketteers. I don't care if you have to create your own reality.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Srsly. This is why freepers make their own reality. I am fuckiong dying over here.

  • glasspusher

    Needz moar gunz

  • BlueStateLibel

    Romney's like a sprinter, he's starting to falter now as they hit the far turn and/or the coke is wearing off/batteries getting low.

    • glasspusher

      I think I could make a battery using Coke and a piece of aluminum and copper…

  • AlterNewt

    Or Floyd.

  • RaflcaFlkaFlame

    Rommy has to take a shit right? Thought I saw him straining.

  • Come here a minute

    Oval Office = BIN LADEN DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

  • Sassomatic

    Nobody understands the economy. Divisive social issues please.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Freedom" Drink!

  • FraAnima

    LET ME FINISH! LET ME FINISH!

    Mitt is channeling Oily Taint.

    • tessiee

      Or Ross Perot.

  • Terry

    .they're sitting in a library not drinking!

  • chascates

    And that includes whupping the shit out of rebels!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Why is Lehrer so damned obsessed with pointing out the differences between the two. WE KNOW THEY'RE DIFFERENT.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    I'll see your Ronald Reagan and raise you Abe Lincoln

  • Doktor Zoom

    Are you going to slag Lincoln, Mitt? Are you?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So far Obama has cited Clinton and Lincoln. Romney Reagan. When will he go to Coolidge?

  • EdFlintstone

    So Mitt practiced weeks on how not to deliver a zinger.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Gee, I can't wait for the next debate.

  • Radiotherapy

    Cut a bitch!

  • chascates

    It's the Richard Cohen effect of getting old.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Oh.I do see a likeness.

  • larrykat

    Benghazi Bhenghazi! Cue Mitt.

  • coolhandnuke

    The Role of Government: keep the Tea baggers from fucking it up.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Lincoln was a well known Socialist, big on Federal Control, and race mixer. Clearly a Democrat.

  • Beowoof

    Why I know, it will be Magic, just like on Kolob

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitt is too disrespectful of those in the room now to be an effective head of state vis a vis other world leaders. He's demonstrated a complete disregard for the civility productive diplomacy demands. No need to go out rude and hard from the start – you should know when to do so (Barry, I'm looking at you…).

  • glasspusher

    The zinger is we were waiting for zingers that never happened

  • Terry

    Or Hoover would be fabulous

    • viennawoods13

      No no! Warren G Harding! Big fan of private enterprise!

  • http://recessappointment.com Recessappt

    Robert MacNeil called and explains this is why Lehrer was the bottom of the ticket

  • AlterNewt

    Who can afford to go to Coolidge these days?

  • C_R_Eature

    Massachusetts is going to vote for Obama, Mitt. Hate to break it to you.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "Every state should make that decision on their own" to have great teachers? huh?

  • Beowoof

    Too bad you never read and studied the constitution you douche bag.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Hit 'em with yer dentures!

    • FraAnima

      Hey you politicians! Get off my stage!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Creator! Drink!

  • chascates

    And I pledge to bomb the brownz. And I won't suck up to the Muslins.

  • Terry

    Mitt, Mass's schools aren't ranked first in the nation. Sorry.

    • MuddyMaeSuggins

      But why let facts get in the way of such a great string of lies, lies, lies

  • AddHomonym

    He's gonna sing!!!!

    • Serfville

      Yeah, I was waiting for God Bless America any minute now, wait for it……

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Mitt was in France during Vietnam.

    • Come here a minute

      Also an asshole.

  • IndianaKevin

    Great schools and great teachers are great.

    • FraAnima

      All the teachers are just the right height.

  • Mittaplasia

    Our Creator? Would that be IBM, Mitt?

  • Jerri

    The role of government: Ding, freedom. Dong opportunity.

    • MuddyMaeSuggins

      USA AOK

    • tessiee

      Ding, excellent schoo–
      Naw, that's not gonna work.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure Mass has best schools despite you, not because of you, Mitt.

  • BarryOPotter

    Where did Mitt learn about what it takes to run the military, 1960s Paris? Fuck that and him.

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    Help me I'm poor.

  • Blendergoathead

    Oh shit, Obama just dropped the first hint of "commander-in-chief;" Lehrer's eyes glistened in their black, oily way and Romney quivered. Foreign policy question coming up soon…

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I feel like I'm going to throw up. The president better have a big lead in the swing states because he's losing this debate.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I must be watching through a different lens – Romney isn't landing shit, so it is not a game changer like he needs. Obama nailed him on his lack of details, over and over, too – which has worked to date.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        He didn't land a punch if you know the facts, but how many people watching in TV land know the facts?I sure hope you're right.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I, too, am sick.

    • viennawoods13

      An actual moderator would be helpful.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Hear, hear.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I don't see Obama losing. Romney hasn't done anything to get him out of his doldrums. The Conservative Blogosphere is going to go nuts that he didn't go after Obama hard.

  • chascates

    We will convert them into Saints when they die.

    • Sassomatic

      Well we -could- use a defense.

  • Beowoof

    Sure we need more military spending. We only spend more than the next 12 countries combined, we need to get on the stick.

  • Doktor Zoom

    We are a nation that lets the lazy scum care for one another!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Dancing Horses: CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT !!!!!

    • Jerri

      Pursuit of happiness, bitches!

  • slithytoves

    Thanks Jim Lehrer for allowing Mitt Romney to run the debate. Retire, motherfucker.

  • MegPasadena

    I love schools….And GOD!!!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Mitt just told the poor people to care for each other. Then contradicted himself in the next sentence.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Romney makes me sick!

  • Wadisay

    We are endowed by our creator…

    Mom?

  • VinnyThePooh

    Your God makes you wear Magical Underoos, Willard.

  • coolhandnuke

    How do you promote the Constitution Mitt?
    Make it a Admiral or a Private First Class.

  • chascates

    And they won't take responsibility for themselves! I won't worry about them.

  • Radiotherapy

    Trickle down government? WTF?

    • Lucidamente1

      Even time Reagan peed himself.

    • Lucidamente1

      Every time Reagan peed himself.

    • Beowoof

      Taking your strength and turning it on you, Karl Rove has been consulted.

  • mavenmaven

    trickle down government again?

  • glasspusher

    Ponies, rainbows and brownies! Buck up, 'lil camper!

  • C_R_Eature

    OH, so now we should just let the poor people care for each other?

    And no budget cuts for the Military!

    and…CHURCHES EVERYWHERE!

  • Jerri

    Stumbling over the Jesus reacharound. Nice Mitt. And haha, trickle down government bad, trickle down economics, good. Mitt 2012!

  • MegPasadena

    Fucking trickle down again!

    • schvitzatura

      Anal leakage…Mitt's Depends are full to overflowing.

  • chascates

    The aim of education is to provide pliable workers for job creators.

  • JustPixelz

    Professor Romney is lecturing about the Constitution.

    And citing the economic ruins Bush (and Romney's proposed policies) created.

  • http://recessappointment.com Recessappt

    @silentjimlehrer

  • chascates

    Gimps, if you will.

  • BoroPrimorac

    If Mitt likes race to the top, then I fucking hate it.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Gee, Willard. If all those people had jobs with livable wages, we wouldn't have a welfare problem.

  • chascates

    Vouchers!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Can you balance the economy? (Seriously–try it. It's difficult.) Budget Hero.

    • glasspusher

      Only if an intern sucks my dick. If I care about starting wars on false intel, no…

  • Come here a minute

    The more you know … "Trickle down govenrment™" is a ZINGER!!!!

  • AbandonHope_

    You know what, fuck this, let's just dissolve the federal government entirely and have each state become its own country. They could be, I don't know, like some sort of "confederation," perhaps. Has anybody ever tried that before? How'd that go?

  • ChuckieJesus

    Trickle Down Gummint! *jenkem huff*

  • rocktonsam

    "POOR KIDS?" YOU FUCKING JERK!

    • AbandonHope_

      Did you catch his little hastily added "…by each other" at the end? Not the government, no.

  • Nothingisamiss

    Wow. I did not know my anxiety would be worse at this point.

    • chascates

      Wait till November 6th.

  • IndianaKevin

    Now he's reciting the Declaration of Independence and the plaque at the bottom of my Statue of Liberty souvenir!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Man, I gotta tell ya that the combo of rum, Tangerine Dream, Lebanese Blond, and Bolivian Marching Powder makes this a lot more fun.

    • glasspusher

      Show off

    • chascates

      Well, YOU are not one of the 47%

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I need to come visit you, like, regularly.

  • C_R_Eature

    This needs more Grand Boohoo of the Neo-American Church.

    And Ibogane. For me.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    It's funny how Mitt had a problem saying you peasant pieces of shit "poor".

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    9:59 PM — “Expensive things hurt families.” This is why Mitt Romney wants to make sure American families can’t have any expensive things. They’ll only get hurt! This is how poor people are!

    That is why American families shouldn't have health insurance. It is expensive.

  • larrykat

    I believe we are all children of the same string of randomly mutated amino acid from 3 billion years ago, Mitt.

  • Doktor Zoom

    "It wasn't very detailed–this seems to be a trend…"

    I do believe that was a zinger

  • chascates

    Stop saying you agree with Mittens!

  • Madameknew

    Mutha of gawd(masshole, here) I want to shoot my Tee Vee. Why does not Mr President call out that fucker for the lying fucker he is ?? Stop the civility. Destroy him. Pleeze.

  • JustPixelz

    Obama already said "keeping America safe" .

  • Biff

    God damn it Lehrer, stop interrupting Hopey! Mittens can do that just fine, all by himself!

  • slithytoves

    Good news is that Mittens has spoken so fucking fast that that no one knows what the fuck he's said. Even him. Poor kids, disabled, blahs…

  • chascates

    I too will be skipping the beer and buying Everclear.

  • susiepop

    Whst should have happened: Hey, I'm gonna go have anniversary dinner with Arms McObama. My good friend Bill Clinton is taking over the debate from here.

  • coolhandnuke

    Can we get Jon Stewart to moderate the next one?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      please.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I would PAY and PAY!!

  • One_Man_Band

    I can only keep telling myself Hopey is going for the rope a dope if he actually starts punching sometime before the fight ends.

  • MegPasadena

    God, I hate that smarmy face!!!!!

  • BathroomGoblin

    Zing! Romney

  • BornInATrailer

    I'm just gonna state right now I don't think I can fap to this.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    thank you.

  • Serfville

    Mittens is playing the Libertarian tonight…mmmm who will he be in the next debate. What a hollow man he is. Did anyone catch that Mittens said people should take care of one another, here we go with the Ron Paul Libertarian bullshit, that people with cancer should go to their neighbors and churches for chemotherapy, I guess Ann Romney is relahing on the kindness of strangers with her multiple sclerosis and breast cancer. Someone needs to call him on this bullshit and it needs to be Prez.

  • Serfville

    Mittens is playing the Libertarian tonight…mmmm who will he be in the next debate? What a hollow man he is. Did anyone catch that Mittens said people should take care of one another, here we go with the Ron Paul Libertarian bullshit, that people with cancer should go to their neighbors and churches for chemotherapy, I guess Ann Romney is relahing on the kindness of strangers with her multiple sclerosis and breast cancer. Someone needs to call him on this bullshit and it needs to be Prez.

  • glasspusher

    Facts aren't entitlements- they're handouts!

  • Come here a minute

    "Your own airplane, not your own facts" = well-practiced ZINGER™

  • viennawoods13

    I cannot fucking believe Lehrer fucking interrupted Obama to ask Rmoney if he agreed. WTF??

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hey Ken, did you watch the Magic Christian yet?

  • VinnyThePooh

    "I don't plan on cutting funding to education…and…and…and…OH BEAUTIFUL, FOR SPACIOUS SKIES…."

  • JustPixelz

    Romney: POTUS gets his own airplane and house, but not his own facts. a well practiced and misplaced zinger.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    SOLYNDRA! TeaPartygasm.

  • Beowoof

    Are you kidding me, you plan to cut Pell Grants. How the fuck did he get back to whining about Green Energy. Fucker, will have a solar house when the oil runs out and we will be fucked.

  • chascates

    We do not have the best health records in the world. We are about 15th.

    • Serfville

      Aren't we below Guam or something? Also very low on WHO infant mortality which is a sign of how badly an advanced nation such as ourselves takes care of it's people, we are shit on that scale it's embarrasing.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Typical GOTP plan. Say something often enough and people will believe it even it's against their personal experience.

    • Radiotherapy

      And, we pay 3-4 X's what the rest of the civilized world pays for this mediocrity.

  • Trannysurprise

    FUCK YOU ROMNEY – LETS TALK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR CAMPAIGN.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Oh, Green jobs was a good answer on education, Mitt.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Schools are not the private sector! Some things should not be subject to a profit motive.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    90 Billion dollars would have also made a wonderful subsidy for Exxon, Monsanto, Lockheed, and ADM, too.

  • OzoneTom

    And Mitt puts his money into the Cayman Islands and Switzerland.

  • OzoneTom

    And Mitt puts his money into the Cayman Islands and Switzerland.

    So he admits that is where his heart is.

  • chascates

    I'm also a Hair Club member!

  • Terry

    F'ing hell, Barry. Confront him on the green jobs and energy smears

  • Wadisay

    Shorter Mitt: Yammer jabber jabber stutter blabber.

  • Mittaplasia

    Another Mitt Money Mojo reference, green energy

  • Beowoof

    Wants to make it more effective by cutting teacher salaries and getting rid of their unions.

  • glasspusher

    Awesomeness ensues. We would elect him instead

  • chascates

    Fuck you both. I'm going to talk for the rest of the time. About PBS and Big Bird.

  • JustPixelz

    I think Romney said America has the best health care in the world. Sorry Mitt. You don't get to have your own facts either. Many countries have longer life expectancy and lower infant mortality.

  • MegPasadena

    He wants to grade the school.

  • Doktor Zoom

    I'm sorry, Mr. President, Jim Lehrer has NOT done a great job tonight.

    • Matthius_Phelan

      AMEN. Also: Lehrer has the worst tie of the three of them.

  • Beowoof

    No Jim you did a shitty job letting that fucker Rmoney stomp over you like a bum outside of his office.

  • C_R_Eature

    "You've done a great job" to Jim Lerher. First Obama Lie of the night.

  • chascates

    Stray outside the 3 minutes and Helen Thomas gets in your face.

  • Nothingisamiss

    Someone hold me.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm broke.

    • chascates

      Pot will get you through times of no money better than . . .

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I'll vouch for that.

  • Biff

    Is motherfucking mittens Rmoney suggesting throwing the doors open at Cranbrook Academy to the poorz?

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    You guys got that? Total time I know that's a hard concept.

  • http://recessappointment.com Recessappt

    Jesus Lehrer is a disaster. I never thought I'd think fondly of Wolf Blitzer as a moderator

  • Mittaplasia

    Awww, poor Mittens…once a bridesmaid, never a bride.

  • DocChaos

    Oh no, we've lost a pod!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Mitt has been trained for these debates to school the Prez and the moderator, clearly. Repubs idea of winning the debate is clearly to be a bully. Sadly I think this will work with a lot of people. The definition of winning a debate is no longer who makes the clear argument or who defends their premise the best, but rather who steamrolls the other guy on stage.

    • AbandonHope_

      So you're saying Obama should just cold pull out a Glock and shoo…er… vote Romney to death?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yes.

      and now we have a lot of shit to do.

    • HELisforHEL

      Exactly right.

  • rocktonsam

    JIM MUST BE TRYING TO GET mIFF TO AD LIB. mIFF HASN'T WON ANYBODY OVER WITH HIS BULLSHIT LIES AND FLIP FLOPS.THE ONE THAT AREN'T DECIDED YET CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THAT STUPID TO BELIEVE HIS DRIVEL

  • Warpde

    OK, now I'm confused.
    Is Romney the republican?
    Think he's gone further left then the buagger's will like.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Then he's tried to veer back right a couple of times. Which is why his entire campaign has been so incoherent. This has been it in a ninety-minute nutshell.

  • glasspusher

    God, I love schools

  • BaldarTFlagass

    BTF review: Fuck you, Mitt.

  • ChuckieJesus

    "You've done a great job." – Obama
    "No." – Lehrer

  • Doktor Zoom

    Yeah, that's the risk.

    • glasspusher

      My old roomie lives across the street from his mom. Maybe I could be secretary of energy!

  • http://s841.photobucket.com/albums/zz333/Extemporanus/ Extemporanus

    You'll sit down, but will you shut up?!

    • glasspusher

      Shut down and sit up!

    • Radiotherapy

      XXX debateporn.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    What should come out of this debate is Mitt is obnoxious.
    My Dog what a turd

  • viennawoods13

    Mitt, Obama tried to collaborate, but your buddies wouldn't play ball. What part of that do you not fucking understand?

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Once again,
    ♪♫ Who are you
    Who who who who
    Who are you
    Who who who who ♫♪

  • sudsmckenzie

    "Mr, President,you have your own airplane, and your own house, but your not entitled to your own facts" this is the "zinger", who came up with that shit Dan (I used to bang Campell Brown until even she couldn't stand me) Senor?

  • Beowoof

    The reason you are in the race is that you believe you are there to fulfill mormon prophecy.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    Think of the long view, and how this will get the apathetic "assuming Obama will win" vote motivated.
    It's hard to take, but in the long run it will work out.

  • Jerri

    Mitt is going to have a Busy first day! Actual zinger! Finally.

    • Serfville

      #522 task on 1st day of Prez:
      Romney: Giving Kock Bros blow jobs

      • Jerri

        That is also task #1 through #521.

  • southernmuses

    oh-so now bipartisan collaboration will be de rigeur in a Romney presidency–
    really?

  • coolhandnuke

    blah blah blah i did this and that boast boast boast in massacheutes
    Fact Mitt: You were not going to get re-elected as Governor.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Bin Laden- Drink!

  • chascates

    Next debate the candidates and the moderator all have to wear those dog training shock collars.

  • subsum

    Guess whose debates Mittens studied for this: Bubba. He shifted to the center; he's dissociating himself from the Teabaggers and all the batshit crazy ideas from the extreme right. He's moving to the center throwing under the bus whatever doesn't fit that strategy. The problem he has–at least with me–is that I don't believe a fucking word he's saying. I'm still voting for Barry.

  • glasspusher

    Some people can't be taught, like smarmy rich kids.

  • MegPasadena

    I think I am getting a stroke right now. Obama, kick his ass!!!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE MIDDLE EAST???

  • JackObin

    Obama lost the election tonight. The Hillbillies in Ohio, Florida and Virginia are going to love this mormon performance. Obama looks disinterested. Maybe he doesn't want it. Quite a disaster.

    • Serfville

      I know Prez is like meh, if you want to vote for me go ahead if not, whatever, I'm tired , I don't want to do this shit anymore. I have to admit it you are right.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      please please tell me it's not that bad.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        It's not that bad. In order for this debate to change anything, Romney would have to win it so decisively that even people like us, who don't exactly like him, would be forced to say, "Yup. That connected."

        It's like that old thing about guerrillas: as long as they don't lose, they've won. As long as the regular military fighting them doesn't win, it's already lost. Romney did not deliver tonight. He did OK, Barack does seem withdrawn, but that's Barack's style. He lets the other person exhaust themselves hitting and then moves in with a short, sharp shock.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Fear not. The hillbillies in Ohio weren't going to vote for the Blah anyway. And Nate Silver will come out with a calm, reasoned analysis tomorrow to show us how debates don't really matter. But yeh, Obama tried to be Presidential and ended up getting steamrolled.

      • deoliver47

        Not.

        Trending on twitter "Romney kills Big Bird".

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      The Hillbillies were watching Storage Wars and weren't gonna vote fer that N=== anyways.

    • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

      Overstatement. This is not the etch a sketch. There's a history. This will only change a small number of undecided who aren't: Latinos, LGBT, seniors, blacks, women, or Jews. Obama is not going to lose Ohio. He can lose Virginia and Florida and still win.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Boomstick on Romney's Busy First Day!

  • YasserArraFeck

    the reason the cocksucker sat down with his legislature every week was because it was ~80% Democrat. Who the hell else was he going to talk to if he wanted to get anything done? Does anyone think for a minute that, if the 'Tards retain the House, President Romney would give the House Democrats more than a weekly "Fuck You"?

  • larrykat

    What the media says about this debate will be way more important than this boring-assed affair itself.

    • One_Man_Band

      I dunno, there was a lot of suspense in waiting for Obama to do something…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And they're going to say the president has a disaster on his hands. It's the story they've wanted and they finally got it.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Exactly. He's playing it perfect. If he'd come out and devastated Mitt, we'd still have to deal with a month of boring ads and three more debates anyway. They were never going to give him positive coverage on this. They don't make the $$ for that. So he's giving them their little horse race, and he'll probably let the next debate go on the same way, and then clean Mitt's clock on the third debate.

        That, IIRC, is what he did the last time around.

        • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

          Yep.
          Everyone needs to calm the fuck down.
          Obama's got this.

          • bikerlaureate

            Came here to say this. Thanks.

            The President certainly can't be peeling off the "angry black guy" label tonight. There's more debates to come.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Exactly. The whole purpose of Mitt's haha tonight was to get under his skin. He did very well, gracious, charming, fact-based, and let Mitt scream and leap about like a howler monkey.

            Next debate I predict he'll let at least half the alloted time go buy without doing much. When he moves in for the lung-ripping part, though, he'll be ripping some lungs.

          • bikerlaureate

            If the Romney campaign clownfest was "helping" Obama, I'd be worried about a complete lack of lung-ripping. Plouffe and company have been delivering the goods so far.
            I think you're right, and the next Presidential debate will not start off much different…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (hugs you) I still can't wait till this is all over, but the polls right now are showing that Bamz won this big-time. Ha-HA!

          • Zango Crudmonger

            I was surprised Barry actually had more time speaking than Mr. Run-on-sentence-blather-argle-bargle. But, hey, the dust is settling and I'm more comfortable with the idea the Prez did well now it's over.

          • reliefsinn

            Someone already might have mentioned this, but Bush didn't do very well in the first debate with Kerry.
            Cheney then demolished Edwards in the VP debate, and the rest, well, I just can't think about it right now.
            Might even have to give some $$$$, can't let this happen again.

          • redarmyzombie

            I hope, hope, hope to heaven Obama cockslaps Willard into oblivion at the end of all this.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          You're such an optimist!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (Hugs you) It's all I got to keep me going, sweetie.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i guarantee you it will be bad.

  • ChrisM2011

    "Gov. Romney, you get the last word- all night if you like!"

  • OzoneTom

    Did he spit something into that hanky?

    • FraAnima

      He has the vapors.

  • glasspusher

    Don't forget blackwater, or whatever they're called lately

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Obama: We're fighters.

  • FraAnima

    Mittens looks like he's about to cry.

  • http://recessappointment.com Recessappt

    Hypothetical people! Woohoo!

  • coolhandnuke

    Coin toss….choose the Hail Mary, punt on first down, or put in Tebow Mitt

  • AlterNewt

    Okay! On to the talent potion of the program.

  • BathroomGoblin

    Just slipped into looking at web porn during Bams' closer. :(

  • rocktonsam

    Who did the debate prep with Mittens? Sha-yawn.? Because the whole debate was touch on talking points, the ones he didn't fuck up. douche

  • viennawoods13

    Uncle Fluffy came to this debate. Man up for the next one, Barry.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Obama praising Romney is a razor slash to the face of Romney's intolerant bullshit.

  • Not_Mother

    Pundits will instantly say Romney won…public will remember he wants to kill Big Bird.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      well weirdly not mara liassom

  • DocChaos

    Let's see how Obama does next time when he doesn't have a teleprompter.

  • Wadisay

    That's it Barry: ask for the order.

  • chascates

    It's almost as big as my flag pin.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Dag, that was a less than inspiring closing statement, Barry… You can do much better than that, dude.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Marathon, Dok, not a sprint. This was about not leading with your chin and getting knocked out – which ol' Mittster is in real danger of a hangover because of all the crap he threw out there. He covers pre-existing conditions, right up until Obama confronts him with the fact he doesn't. He was forced to admit his tax plan would not raise a dollar in revenue, yet conceded you needed to raise revenue. Whole lotta stuff for the fact checkers he doesn't care about to kick the crap out of him with.

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

        Nobody believes fact checkers.

  • Jerri

    Shut the fuck up you crooked faced goon.

  • Biff

    Thank you Mr. President for tuning in this evening. What the actual fucking fuck?!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    black people aren’t entitled to their own “facts,” even if they’ve stolen a jet and a house from the American People.

    They do have to give it back eventually, despite what Fox & Friends tells you.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    black people aren’t entitled to their own “facts,” even if they’ve stolen a jet and a house from the American People.

    You do know that they do have to give the jet and the house back eventually, despite what Fox & Friends tells you.

  • OzoneTom

    Romney's feeling good that he got through it without any immediately obvious gaffes.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Is Willard going to drop to his knees and start begging?

  • chascates

    If people are mean to you I will hunt them down and kill them!

  • emmachuur

    How do I post those purty gifs elsewhere and make them be all wiggley like that/

  • azeyote

    mitt is so skunk hair from " the hatfields and the mccoys "

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If you want to know the secret of who won or lost, watch FOX News. Whatever Dick Morris says, the opposite is true. This has been proven every debate since 2004. When he said that Kerry won the last debate against Bush, I knew he was cooked.

  • susiepop

    I suck, just ask mittens. FOR GODS SAKE. Grow a pair.

    • One_Man_Band

      NO SHIT.

  • http://recessappointment.com Recessappt

    I'm not sure Romney should say "leads in two different directions" when the economy is on the steady upswing

  • chascates

    Plus you can get more than one wife! No, forget I said that.

  • JustPixelz

    Romney says he'll repeal Obamacare and implement Romneycare.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Dibs on a drumstick!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Wow! TWELVE MILLION MINIMUM WAGE JOBS!!!

    • AbandonHope_

      And that'll require getting rid of Michelle's anti-obesity program, because the American public will have to be visiting fast food joints 24/7 to keep all those millions of minimum-wage jobs going.

  • chascates

    Leave no defense contractor behind. Thank you Jesus!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I missed most of this, and am not going to read 21 pages of comments. Any zingers to report?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      The strawberry ones were delicious.

    • coolhandnuke

      I made a coconut/cocaine eclair.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      If Romney laid 'em, I missed 'em. But YMMV.

    • Radiotherapy

      716 billion of 'em.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Oh, nice lie about the defense cuts required by CONGRESS, there!

  • BornInATrailer

    I just filled my goblet so much I had to sip before I could pick it up.

    Thanks, subconscious.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Ryan/Romney 2012
    "We don't know what we say, but we mean it."

  • chascates

    EVERYBODY DANCE!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mittens is better than Jebus!!!!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, Jim Leher was paid how much for this?

    • redarmyzombie

      Too much.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Doesn't matter, it was in bitcoins.

    • Radiotherapy

      Whatever, he just got fired by Mitt ending PBS.

  • Biff

    PLEASE DEAR GOD GIVE THE JOB TO GWEN IFILL!

  • kingofmeh

    ahahahahah who told romney to reference romneycare in his closing statement? this incoherent bullshit is his closing statement? i'm going to follow the same plan i followed in massachusetts which is mostly indistinguishable from the ACA?

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Rocky Anderson is winning http://www.democracynow.org

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Handjob and a smile"? Nice.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Look at those five healthy boys not getting shot at.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Ooh. Very nice.

  • Warpde

    Mitt ends with,
    BAIN, BAIN, Bwaaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaa BAIN .you cock suckers.

    No?
    Well the stutter does take up some time.

  • UW8316154

    Oh hey, I just got here.

    / sits down /

    Did I miss anything??

    • AbandonHope_

      No.

      No you did not.

      I'm going to bed now.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      You trying to steal my "always late to the party" schtick, dood?

  • chascates

    On PBS Dave Brooks and Mark Shields are calling it for Mittens. No mention of the 47%! Obama is rusty. Romney seemed happy to be there.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Oh shit, Wolf! Must click other site!!!

  • BoroPrimorac

    Who's the chick with the chompers on Romney's side?

    • Radiotherapy

      Rafalca?

    • YasserArraFeck

      someone who doesn't give blowjobs without drawing blood

  • ChuckieJesus

    $e- se seven hundredty sixtbillllllyun dollur medi- medi

    *falls over from the bath salts*

    • BathroomGoblin

      me too.

  • HELisforHEL

    RACHEL ABSOLUTELY GETS IT of course.

    • Negropolis

      Yep.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Ann: "How many drinks did you have?"

    • OzoneTom

      "Not enough."

  • Negropolis

    Sweet mercies from heaven, it's over.

  • Come here a minute

    The-e-e-e-e Yankees win.

    • Barrelhse

      Shit.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      The Grandyman can!!
      Dontcha know Cano?!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    CNN is supposed to have a fact checker on after this thing. S/he's going to be in meltdown mode tonight.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Rafalca is not on stage with the Romney family. Clearly there is a split in the Romney camp.

  • YasserArraFeck

    the (R)Money clan walking off the stage….it's like a humanoid blizzard

  • DrinkYerBourbon

    I miss Herman.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      What are you throwing?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Even my Republican co-worker/barmates were very sheepish about what a weakdick Romney is. Here in deepest darkest Texas, and before the debate even started!

    • Nothingisamiss

      I know you're trying to give me some hope, but I still feel sick.

  • chascates

    Still hoping Gwen Ifill will say Jim Lehrer's time has passed and we'll have a hologram of Mark Russert next time.

  • AlterNewt

    The 'Average American Voter' ,who is trained by the teevee to react in a visceral way, will have experienced this as 'blah blah, blah, nice guy' and 'blah, blah, blah, assertive guy'.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Republicans: "Hey our guy didn't totally fuck it up! He didn't step on his dick!!! Victory is ours!!!"

  • Misty Malarky

    I think Maddow is gay for Mitt.

  • BoroPrimorac

    What the fuck is Ed's problem?

  • Negropolis

    Al Sharpton is right. Romney was at his best, tonight…and it still won't be enough.

    • BoroPrimorac

      I agree. All Obama had to do was not lose. Romney had to hit a grand slam homer in the bottom of the ninth and he just didn't do it.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Tell me more. No, really…talk me off my little ledge of anxiety….

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Countdown to Obama fundraising email in 3….2…..1…..

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      And sure enough…

      Subject line: Hey

      [President Beeblebrox –]

      I hope I made you proud out there explaining the vision we share for this country.

      No, no you didn't.

      Now we need to go win this election — the most important thing that will happen tonight is what you do (or don't do) to help in the little time we have left.

      We need to win, Bamz, but not with a debate performance like that. Shit.

  • Jerri

    Thank god that's done. I hope Onion Biden shows up at his debate so that one is at least entertaining. Good night, Jim & Ken (!!) & Wonketteers. Thanks for helping me keep potential aneurysms at bay through this shit show.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    CNN's first "analysis," "In exchanges full of policy proposals, facts and figures, Romney was more aggressive in the 90-minute encounter …"

    • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

      I must have missed that part, wonder what channel that debate was on? The debate I saw featured Romney talking in the vaguest terms about what his plans were.

  • HELisforHEL

    Off to bed. Oh Barry, please bring the fire next time and bury this asshole.g'night my Wonkette buddies, thank you for being here.

  • bringmeanaxe

    Gee, now that it's over, all I can think about is hawt sexy time with Jim Newell. How'd that happen?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    npr is going for a tie.

    • AlterNewt

      That's just silly. Nobody can see your tie on the radio.

  • BaldarTFlagass