give us all your muneez

Wonkette Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers

legitimate rapeYou are looking to reach over 650k unique human beings each month – Wonkette readers are born with an advanced degree and at least one third of them even have jobs! – and we are looking to keep from peddling our children on the street. Let us help you help us!

Wonkette accepts most advertising short of total porn, penis supplements, and the NRA. (How did we get through life being so redundant?) Our dedicated readers are sophisticated citizens of the world, from coast to coast, but are concentrated especially in the office of Vice President Old Handsome Joe. (For pricing, write to wonkette@blogads.com.) We offer many types of ad shapes and sizes, sort of like the vampire bar in From Dusk Till Dawn, which will go nameless here out of respect for you and your delicate (and monied) sensibilities.

Want us to whore ourselves out just a little more? We can do that. We offer both sponsored posts and a “Your Name Here” endowed chair on any beat you like – the environment for instance, or the war on ladies’ pieces. That will run you more, like kissing. (How much more? That’s still secret.)

If you don’t have $2500 for a full-blown takeover, we’ve got lots of other ad units in varying shapes and sizes to meet your polymorphous needs. We’ve executed astonishing campaigns for Livestrong, PBS Frontline and Fox Searchlight.

Need help convincing your boss that Wonkette is the right “partner?” We’ve surveyed more than 34,000 readers on hundreds of brands, causes and issues. We can give you wild-eyed data that will prove or disprove any thesis you’ve got.

Here’s some of the fancypants stuff we’ve done for our beloved advertisers.

In conclusion, give us all your money and shit. Perhaps you don’t have a business you want to advertise, or don’t want it associated in any way with the filthy Wonkette name, but still want to support us, your favorite website in the history of Al Gore. You can do so! Buy a book through the Powell’s link in our righthand sidebar, or anything on earth through the Amazon box over there and we will get a decent cut of it. You can always just Paypal cold cash too, to rebecca@wonkette.com. It hardly hurts at all.

Rebecca Schoenkopf,
Editrix

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    …is it pledge week already?!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      When did it end?

    • Mahousu

      No, not until the guest post by Deepak Chopra shows up.

    • AbandonHope_

      Wonkette totally needs Ira Glass to shame us all into giving them money.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I feel like I'm reading NPR.

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          …with dick jokes.

          • mrpuma2u

            They did make a dipstick joke on car talk once…

          • Esteev

            That really grinds my gears.

          • BeefHardcake

            I would donate a lot more to NPR if they had dick jokes.

            No snark, really, I would. It'd be worth it to hear Ira Glass say something utterly filthy.

    • SorosBot

      I want my tote bag.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        My "goddamn tote bag to take to your goddamn hippie co-op and in which you will carry your goddamn hippie organic vegetables.

        endquote, also, too.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Such as Uncle Obama's banana….

      • commiegirl99

        YES THEY ARE COMING I swear to God! This week even!

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          If you're making them, I will send you muneez for a tote bag. How muchens?

          • commiegirl99

            We will have an online store up in the next … three weeks maybe. It will have T-shirts and totes in time for Xmas.

          • mrpuma2u

            No wonketeer undies? *makes sad face with pouty lower lip*

          • HistoriCat

            Who knew wonketeers wore undies?

          • KeepFnThatChicken

            <3… you said "Xmas"

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Yay! I need to augment my MONSTROSO collection of 7,500 teeshirts which I will be dead long before I wear them out already. Please send me teeshirts for which I will send you, foolishly, much munniez which you will only blow getting drunk with all yon two-legged *mobile* Wonketteerz.

            I'm NOT bitter!

        • BaldarTFlagass

          A beer cooler would be nice. I don't have any shit to tote, and I'm straight/male anyway.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      They'll be running all the very best posts, at least for a little while.

    • Radiotherapy

      I volunteer to man the Obama phones.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I work for the Air Force. I'll ask them if they want to advertise here. Maybe a little something extolling their abilities to ruin your wedding party anywhere in the world from Creech AFB, Nevada. I don't think there would be any point in running recruiting ads, given the demographic here.

    • BornInATrailer

      Why no recruitment? DADT was lifted.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I've done my time.

    • Schmannnity

      Hellfire Missiles: When a simple "regrets" is not an adequate invitation response.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Am I too old to volunteer for the class war? Damn! Maybe I can roll bandages.

    • Not_So_Much

      Can't you just tell them you need a new hammer and send Mistress the $30K instead?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Hey, don't mention my butt cysts!!!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Rush? Rush Limbaugh, is that YOU? (pukes)

  • Baconzgood

    I would pass this on to our AD Dept. But they spend millions to sell ketchup in the world already. Plus they just canned me (no pun intended) too also.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Me too, Baconz. We got Bained today. They kept 16 out of 90 of us, for one year, anyway. I made the cut, but meh.

      • MOG2410

        Ouch, they do good work, don't they?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Bright side, you should soon be on the receiving end of all the office supplies you will ever need.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Me, I took the Aeron chair home.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            SHIT MAN!!! I am J-E-A-L-O-U-S. I have to admit I had to add a wing to my home to store the paper, staplers, Scotch tape, and writing implements I took, but … that is one swell crime.

        • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

          But, but, but… my iPad!! I'll try to recreate it with sticky notes and paper clips.

      • Baconzgood

        I wouldn't worry about it dude. They cut my Dept. and out s.'d it. I was lucky and got a new job and don't have to go through the carnage that will happen in the next 4-6 weeks. I feel bad for some of these other co workers. I got the gift for gab so sell really well. Some of these coworkers aren't so lucky. They stutter about NASCAR stats and hunting. Alot of the ones that can't BS in life will be stuck saying "would you like more fries with that". This includes some of the co workers that are in the same pay structure as me.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          We benefit enormously from your gift of the gab, so I'm glad some capitalist will continue to subsidize it. Speaking as one with three business shut-downs to my credit, I haz a sad for your co-workers.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        The last one of my three Bainings happened the VERY DAY Obama was elected. I know it sucks almost as much to be left with the clean up. As long as your salary is more than unemployment, which with cut-backs sometimes is barely the case. Good luck, friend.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Shit. So sorry, deanbooth. If you work in software, Silicon Valley is hiring (finally) again.

  • SnarkOff

    I guess Kortney didn't love her vegetables enough?

    • Terry

      Did they run out of shocking videos?

    • widestanceromance

      She was slapped with a gag order not to comment about this.

  • BornInATrailer

    Let me be the first to say "tits or GTFO."

    • I_P

      Let me be the second to say "tits or GTFO."

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Ditto!

    • YouFail4eva

      Oh fine. Third "Tits or GTFO"

    • rickmaci

      Side boob counts.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        For half

  • sudsmckenzie

    I'll give you $5 for another round of Campell Brown.

    • iTuna

      Seconded!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I suspect the Bureau of Wonkette Statistics is using a different metric.

    …at least one third of them even have jobs!

  • http://wonkette.com/ no_gravity

    over 650k unique human beings each month – Wonkette readers are born with an advanced degree and at least one third of them even have jobs!

    Now I feel as if I should at least be wearing clothes when I post here.

    • MOG2410

      Please don't, you'll be the only one.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Hey, I'm wearing my bearcat slippers….

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    My company is sponsoring some 3rd rate has-been tennis player and my CEO bashes Barry on a daily basis. So yeah, we are right up there with the NRA and Chick-Fil-A.

  • sbj1964

    PBS at least sent me a tote bag.

    • UnholyMoses

      At least a chicken to fuck would be nice.

      Of course, YMMV.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Wonkette should give lightly salted rat dick bags.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        and honorary TruckNutz

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Delivered by retards. Skull-fucking retards.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            No fair! I never get to say the fun stuff.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I only buy my penis supplements from the Wonkette-approved Amazon linky.

    YOU'RE WELCOME, REBECCA.

    • MOG2410

      And the v-jay jay supplements, where the hell are they????

  • anniegetyerfun

    Needz moar Cash4Gold.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    Does clicking on the ads already there help? I try to make a practice of that several times a week.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      I never clicked on an ad in the newspaper before, so fuck if I'm going to start that nonsense.

      Advertisers, lissen up: Don't look for clicks. Look for saturation. Get your word out, but make it effective. I am not clicking on links, because I only trust the websites I visit.

    • Trannysurprise

      I used to only click on that hot guy from the gym. Sadly it never took me to porn.

      • widestanceromance

        Naturally, I read that as 'only lick on' because I was thinking about him while reading this.

      • finallyhappy

        I saw him in person – last year or the year before at the gay pride parade in DC- on the company's float- I think it was him or some other hot gym guy

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Hot gym guys all look alike. I prefer teh ghey that looks like Barney Frank.

    • kingofmeh

      for a while there, i was visiting electoral-vote.com by clicking through the link, even though i would've gone there daily anyway. i hope my extra clickthroughs helped in some minute way.

      ps electoral-vote.com, if you're reading this, i'm pretty sure i first saw the ads for your site here.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Needz moar sideboob and Kortney!

    • chicken_thief

      I must be getting old – whenever I see the word "sideboob" my first thought is Boo-Boo and/or Paul Ryan.

  • Schmannnity

    Bring back Wonkette T-shirts. My Palin Apocalypse 2012 is fading.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      I would shop Wonkette.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I think the reason they didn't sell last time was not enough 2X and 3X sizes in stock.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Yes! I sleep in my Ts, so I prefer the Mack Truck size. If they aren't almost down to my elbows and knees, no go.

        • Crank_Tango

          That's what she said?

  • Allmighty_Manos

    If not for Wonkette advertising, I would not have realized the widely known historic fact that John Wilkes Booth didn't act alone was "shocking.". Donate today!

    • Terry

      Booth used teleportation to go after Seward and Johnson, then make it to Ford's Theater to shoot Lincoln. He couldn't teleport out of Ford's theater because the teleporter's flux capacitor wouldn't properly recharge, which forced him to make his fateful leap down to the stage where he broke his leg. He ended up being chased through southern Maryland, hide out in Zekiah Swamp, and finally made it over to Virginia where Federal troops cornered him in a tobacco barn and shot and burned him. All because he didn't carry a back up flux capacitor. There are lessons to be learned from that, my friend.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Editrix, can you just link directly to the sex toys on amazon? They make them so hard to find.

    • emmelemm

      +1

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "That's what she said."

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Wonkette accepts most advertising short of total porn

    Well if that's how you feel I will simply have to take my business elsewhere.

  • MOG2410

    "Full-blown", heh. Would love to advertise my extreme dislike of the current political atmosphere, but you're already doing that for me. And I work for a trade association run by the wrong side of the aisle (I get to be the token Dem) so no love there.

  • chicken_thief

    "We can give you wild-eyed data that will prove or disprove any thesis you’ve got. "

    Complete with Ezra Klein worthy charts or gtfo!!!

  • FakaktaSouth

    If we could start buying free birth control and alcohol through the wonks I would be able to pay for this shit all by myself.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Seriously, there should be Wonkette-branded liquor of some kind.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        All liquor carries the Wonkette seal of approval.

    • mrpuma2u

      Hey Fakakta is on to something here. Editrix, hire a little hillbilly gal to make Wonkette Whiskey. As in "She was just a little hillbilly gal, but he loved her still."

  • PsycWench

    Wonkette accepts most advertising short of total porn, penis supplements, and the NRA
    May I humbly suggest that any ad that automatically starts up with sound be added to this list?

  • Nesnora

    I'll donate if my money only gets used for booze and political sex toys. Also— pix pluz.

  • sbj1964

    The office coffee fund must be low,or their bartender has asked them to cover they're tab?

    • sudsmckenzie

      Dropping acid with Dave Weigel doesn't pay for itself.

  • Boojum

    Wait, did you say an ad will run more, like kissing, as in kissing costs more or is kissing is part of the cost of the ad? I'm asking for a friend.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      *rubbing hands together*

      Totally getting a free ad out of this deal…

  • https://www.facebook.com/preacher.hipple Preacher_Griz

    The Demon's Play Yard where Everything is for Sale.

  • northernbassist

    So when I donated via PayPal, I selected 'services.' Y'all best commence yer servicin' immediamente.

  • I_P

    Needz moar buttsecks.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That costs more…

  • Baconzgood

    NEEDZ MOAR LATINA WOMEN EATING CHILI PEPPERS. AND WONKBOT TOO ALSO.

    • mrpuma2u

      Si, mas mamitas calientes con chiles y cervezas!!!!

    • wondering where i am

      Wonkbot! Wonkbot! Wonkbot! He (she?) must have something to say about the debates. Maybe Wonkbot CAN debate. RMoney v. Wonkbot.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    How about the barter system? I have a bumper crop of zucchini this year.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Kortney? Is you?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I have a bumper crop of zucchini this year.

      I've been slapped for less than this!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Call that blonde senate candidate in Nevada who pays her doctor with a chicken. She might go for your zucchini. I hear she has some time on her hands.

    • Crank_Tango

      I was thinking I could trade a dong shot for one of editrix' jugs, but I suppose vegetables are just as good.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    TPM has a Romney banner running, which just goes to show you how valuable trolls can be.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    We’ve executed astonishing campaigns for Livestrong, PBS Frontline and Fox Searchlight.

    Not to mention that time we covered the entire website with Seimens.

    • anniegetyerfun

      We've never really stopped, to be fair.

  • mavenmaven

    Needz moar Koch Bros @$$-kissing

  • WhatTheHeck

    Which old Rock n’ Roller will you get to perform on the Wonket so we can pay up?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Eddie Money has two tickets to paradise … and he's shameless.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    What? No tote bag, even???

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    And WTF is wrong with "total porn"?

    • Grief_Lessons

      She should start advertising partial porn, and increase as tolerated.

    • Ratinho_SBT

      not

    • emmelemm

      I know, look who suddenly has standards all of a sudden.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Total porn is the only thing that gets me through the day.

    • Wadisay

      Huh, no naked Campbell Brown?

      And how would total porn be worse than that Peptol-Bismo colored "Choke" thing from a few years ago?

    • Toomush_Infer

      Sure, get that 30% of the Wonkette employed down to 2% in a hurry….

  • Trannysurprise

    I knew this would happen when Siemans started sponsoring "Life's a Tripp."

  • SorosBot

    I still miss the days the Wonkette was all covered in Siemens.

    • MissTaken

      True, but it was Nuclear Aftershocks and Santorum that brought us together.

      • SorosBot

        Aw; and yes it was.

  • Ratinho_SBT

    hi

  • Katydid

    Do you mean that I can slap a pic of myself on the Wonkette if I kiss you?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Why is wonkette not getting all of that sweet abortionplex marketing monies?!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      If they don't pay up, we should quit talking about them.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    We offer both sponsored posts and a “Your Name Here” endowed chair on any beat you like

    I'm rather well-endowed already, in and out of my chair.

    • Oblios_Cap

      But is your chair well-endowed? For the merest of a baubles (probably a whore diamond), it could be.

    • Nothingisamiss

      pics or GT…wait…is this Anthony Weiner?

  • thefrontpage

    Here's some suggested advertisers for Wonkette: Larry Flynt, Playboy, Rolling Stone, Budweiser, Jack Daniel's, Miller-Coors, Trojan, K-Y Jelly, Showtime, Jenna Jameson Productions, Scores, Camelot, Archibald's, Good Guys, Night Shift, The Gold Club, Greenpeace, PETA, The Takoma Park Civic Association, ACLU, NAACP, NARAL, AFL-CIO, UAW, and Mother Jones.

    • PsycWench

      but not NAMBLA.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    That guy is from my State!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Brando forever, Amen.

    • GorzoTheMighty

      As was Mari Sandoz

  • Gorillionaire

    Can I just buy an ad that says that "Funhouse" is the greatest album ever made?

  • coolhandnuke

    As a self-employed, legitimate, retro-active abortion doctor, I think I can convince the boss to advertise with your fine, wholesome organization.

    • emmelemm

      If you're a retroactive abortion doctor, does that mean that you're actually a hitman?

      • coolhandnuke

        I specialize in preemptive births and Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Bruce Springsteen is doing abortions?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    We offer many types of ad shapes and sizes

    36DD? With pasties?

  • MonkeyMotion

    "In conclusion, give us all your money and shit."

    Be careful for what you ask…

  • Mojopo

    Awesome idea! OK, I'm in. Books. Paypal.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    "We’ve surveyed more than 34,000 readers on hundreds of brands, causes and issues. We can give you wild-eyed data that will prove or disprove any thesis you’ve got."

    Is that the survey that's on the side over there? —>
    Yeah, I let my cat answer most of those.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      HOLY SHIT I JUST LEARNED THAT 94% OF WONKETTERS LIVE IN NEW YORK

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Jeez Rebecca. There's always "Payday Loans" if you're really hard up. They're just waiting to drop bags of money in your lap. No questions asked.

    At least that's what they advertise on my television machine 3,000 times a day.

    • Toomush_Infer

      And they should be advertizing here!….Hobo beans for everyone!…

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Not sure any Wonketeers want to buy a cup of rust, so it's not likely that our marketing department would see Wonkette as a potential engineering sales gold mine. That said all our beloved staff are directed that if heading to Amazon to buy inflatables (rafts you sillies) to click through teh Wonkette.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I'll check with Rick "Batboy" Scott and see if he's willing to part with some of his personal fortune to help out the site.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Someone or another here types the words Rick, Scott, or Batboy multiple times a day. He should be charged at least what the abortionplex people are paying.

  • UnholyMoses

    Well, I ain't got no moneyz for an ad or sponsored post or stuff like that, but I do sometimes buy stuff on Amazon.

    I'll make sure to run through here first from now on … if I remember … which isn't guaranteed because I have some memory issues and … uh … what the fuck was I typing about?

  • Esteev

    I've lurked Wonkette for a while, and just recently decided to neglect responsibilities to incessantly comment, so am I exempt from this message?

    • Oblios_Cap

      No. Consider it an intiation fee.

      • Esteev

        Aw, man. Can't I just get paddled instead?

        • Dudleydidwrong

          That, too, also. ("Get the paddling blondes ready!")

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "neglect responsibilities to incessantly comment,"

      Welcome to Baldar World!!!

  • Schmannnity

    Marketing? Why didn't Ken think of that?

  • Will_Panic

    How much PayPal cash would I need to donate to get a dirty e-mail from Rebecca?

  • hagajim

    I get too much of this crap from PBS (just kidding). I will figure something out to help the Wonkette. Need to buy dirty book from Amazon anyway.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Buy it from Powell's if they have it. It's an employee-owned business. Soshulism!!

      • hagajim

        But I can walk into Powells to buy it.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Lucky you!And afterward you can read your book in the rose garden.

  • Serolf_Divad

    I'm not sure I've ever bought anything that I didn't see advertised on Wonkette first. And I'm a rich millionaire that likes to buy all sorts of expensive stuff like diamonds and mink coats and remote controlled helicopters and stuff with my yearly bonuses and stock options and such and so forth. So please, if you're an advertiser and are reading this, take out an ad on Wonkette. :-)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    What about the skin secret lady that doctors in my town all hate? Or is she here already, just blocked by my USAF server's chastity belt?

  • Woodshedding

    You reign supreme, but I hate to tell you, Livestrong has been infiltrated by big corporate interests, like Susan G Komen (now Race for the Cure, NOT prevention, since the majority now on the BOD got there via big donations footed by the big Pharma corp(s) whose biggest sellers are chemo, therefore they need women to keep getting cancer so they can get "cured" by drugs which, it turns out, kill more than they save, but hey, by that time whose fault is THAT? If you'd felt yourself up in the shower better, you woudn't have gotten cancer in the first place, bitch).

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Cynical, snide, bitter, yet true +1

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      The evil people are the ones we WANT to advertise here. Who better to give our Editrix moniez? I say go for KBR, drone manufacturers, and phones that give us ear cancer.

  • Mittaplasia

    …Ah ain't been on this dadburned websight for one stinkin' week and some money-grubbin' soshalists are already trying to get mah hard-earned money to buy crack and gawd knows what else? Us poors just can't catch a break. Robme/2012.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      I did want to say earlier: Willkommen, and also as someone who works for an oncology hospital, your username is kinda awesome.

      • Mittaplasia

        Thank you; I am looking forward to the cure on November 6th. Now time do do Paypal thingy.

  • SorosBot

    Bring back the Snorg girl!

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      I think our Editrix was the Snorg girl.

  • AbandonHope_

    I've disabled my ad blocker on Wonkette. This is a big fuckin' deal for me, but if any website on the face of the planet deserves ad revenue, it's this one. I only ask that you keep 'em SFW, so I can continue to browse during breaks / waiting for compiles / attempts not to go completely batshit insane from the total lack of camaraderie, organization, focus or morale around here.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I have AdBlockPlus. I can disable it for ONE SITE? Instructions, pretty please. I would do that.

      • AbandonHope_

        Piece of cake. If you're using it on Chrome, like I do, all you have to do is click the little red "ABP" icon on the right-hand side of the address bar, and then uncheck the "Enabled for this site" box that appears. It will either turn grey, or turn into a green circle. Then reload — and voila.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I use Firefox, but I'll give that a try.And I could always ask Firefox if I can't figure it out.Thanks for the tip.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Any one need a reverse mortgage?

    • AbandonHope_

      Yes. Please reverse mine back into positive territory.

    • Mittaplasia

      Um, no, but an inverted margarita would be good about right now…it's 5:00 somewhere!

      • sudsmckenzie

        This is Wonkette, "its 11 am somewhere".

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      But can we please have Robert Wagner and not that tool Fred "I'm an idiot but I play smart on TV" Thompson?

    • Boojum

      Or a reverse cowgirl?

      • bobbert

        That costs extra, like kissing.

  • Woodshedding

    Oh hey though, for those of us who have nothing to advertise, it does help you guys if we simply click on ads, right? Let's all remember to do that. Only takes a second to click-and-return. I always forget, sorry!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I've always thought wonkette needed more wierd looking people trying to refinance their mortgages.

  • gullywompr

    Well, I guess we've had this date with each other from the beginning.

  • coolhandnuke

    Just institute one of those office cuss funds for the Wonkette and within a week you'll be rich and the rest of us will be poor.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Fuck that shit!

  • Ratinho_SBT

    you guys are crazy?

  • RuinedLiver

    Hurry up and contribute or she'll steal the money out of your brother's wedding envelopes.

    • commiegirl99

      hahahaha I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

  • Ratinho_SBT

    We post new

    • SorosBot

      How dada.

  • Antispandex

    "…and at least one third of them even have jobs! "

    Jobs? What is this strange thing you write of? Jobs? We know not jobs!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    I'm assuming Gay Porn is cool? This is the site that launched a thousand buttsechses after all.

  • finallyhappy

    My next Amazon purchase will be through you- but don't tell that I am buying anxiety books

  • rocktonsam

    Can't Clint Eastwood pitch in for cripes sake?

  • BeefHardcake

    I'm way too far down in the pecking order at my giant, bloodless, soulless company to influence advertising decisions. Boo.

    BAKE SALE, THOUGH!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    if i could afford it, i would buy a 'hire me' ad.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    That Rachel Maddow woman is always quoting Teh Wonket. Has SHE paid up?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I don't see any ads on my screen. Haz the Wonkette stepped in something again?

  • glamourdammerung

    Wonkette accepts most advertising short of total porn, penis supplements, and the NRA.

    Define "total porn".

    • Naked_Bunny

      The Drudge Report?

  • Veritas78

    A PayPal button is so easy to set up that you could do it dead drunk, Rebecca.

  • Naked_Bunny

    What the hell is "wonkette"? Is that, like, the sound of clown sex?

  • decentcitizen

    I give an offering at church seeking forgiveness. I guess I could throw some coin Wonks way for the things for which I seek forgiveness.

  • Guppy

    You want clickies? Suggest to your sponsors that they try to include a Flash-based driving game.

  • iamrrm

    Do you get any money when people complete the "What Do You Think?" surveys on the right? I have been known to get stuck in a question answering loop over there for what seems like hours. Somebody aught to benefit from my survey blackouts.

  • ttommyunger

    You have my undying love and admiration, aside from that, you're shit out of luck.