DREAMS FROM MY BASEBALL FATHER  2:05 pm October 2, 2012

George Will: As We See From Baseball, Black Dudes Have It Made

by Jesse Taylor

obama's real father???George Will, the Washington Post’s moderately somnolent Guy Who Watches Baseball And Reads Thesauruses, has decided that the story of Frank Robinson is the perfect one to explain the presidential election.

Obama’s administration is in shambles, yet he is prospering politically. This may not, however, entirely be evidence of the irrationality of the electorate. Something more benign may be at work.

A significant date in the nation’s civil rights progress involved an African American baseball player named Robinson, but not Jackie. The date was Oct. 3, 1974, when Frank Robinson, one the greatest players in history, was hired by the Cleveland Indians as the major leagues’ first black manager. But an even more important milestone of progress occurred June 19, 1977, when the Indians fired him. That was colorblind equality.

Managers get fired all the time. The fact that the Indians felt free to fire Robinson — who went on to have a distinguished career managing four other teams — showed that another racial barrier had fallen: Henceforth, African Americans, too, could enjoy the God-given right to be scapegoats for impatient team owners or incompetent team executives.

Finally, in 1977, black people gained the ability to be scapegoats! This was a status long aspired to by African Americans, who had desired shitty treatment in jobs their bosses didn’t really think they were qualified for, but were never able to attain it. “Mabel,” a hypothetical black person would say to their hypothetical black friend Mabel, “I been prayin’ to the Lord day in and day out for so many days that he would PLEASE LORD give me the opportunity to manage a terrible Major League franchise and then get fired because I was the easiest person to blame. Oh, well. Back to this sharecroppin’! My back sure does hurt somethin’ fierce!”

Thankfully, though, Barack Obama is receiving gentler treatment than Mr. Robinson:

Perhaps a pleasant paradox defines this political season: That Obama is African American may be important, but in a way quite unlike that darkly suggested by, for example, MSNBC’s excitable boys and girls who, with their (at most) one-track minds and exquisitely sensitive olfactory receptors, sniff racism in any criticism of their pin-up. Instead, the nation, which is generally reluctant to declare a president a failure — thereby admitting that it made a mistake in choosing him — seems especially reluctant to give up on the first African American president. If so, the 2012 election speaks well of the nation’s heart, if not its head.

Remember, kids: it’s not racist to scapegoat a black person for your own failures. It is, however, racist (but benignly so!) to keep a Democratic president in office when Republicans think he’s the Worst Black Muslim Socialist Ever.

America, our mission is clear: we must aspire to be the mid-1970s Cleveland Indians, a franchise so bad that it eventually inspired the film Major League. FIRE ALL THE NEGROES.

[Washington Post]

 

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{ 287 comments }

One_who_wanders October 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Yeah. them black people get all the breaks. And the women's too.

Sheesh.

docterry6973 October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Absolutely. Every annual report I get, the Board of Directors picture looks like a team photo from the WNBA. A rich white man can't catch a break today.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

a team photo from the WNBA

Which, fortunately, also covers that other overprivileged group, LGBTs, who clearly have it so fucking easy, y'all!

Warwhatgoodfor October 2, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Well, come on already. UConn women's basketball team did have Sue Bird. I mean, really.
Reminds me of an old joke: how many black players are actually on the court for Alabamas basketball team?
Answer: one when they're playing at home, three when they're playing away, five when they're behind.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Why, Frank Robinson was even allowed to drink from the same water fountain as his white and Latino players!

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Black people get all the womens? Wanda Sykes couldn't hear you, as your woman's thighs were covering her ears.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

What? Have you not seen that seminal documentary on interracial dating, "Animal House"???

MosesInvests October 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Do you mind if we dance witcho' dates?

IceCreamEmpress October 2, 2012 at 2:09 pm

That is impressive casuistry right there even by George Fwill standards.

The real racists are the ones who vote for the black guy, y'all!

finallyhappy October 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I knew I was a racist when I worked for his election and voted for him. I thought I was doing it because he was the best candidate as he still is but I realize from George Will that totally I am a racist and voting for President Obama because he is black. If I wasn't a racist, I would not vote for hm- not because Romney/Paul are anything but lying sacks of shit but because a real non-racist would vote against President Obama to prove that I can be non-racist. I think that says it all

mille derps October 2, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Nov 6th, we will ALL be racists, then…

MaxUdargo October 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Yes, George Will, you amazing genius you, that is why I'm voting for Barack Obama rather than Mitt Romney this year. I'm glad somebody finally figured it out, because I was beginning to wonder, why the hell am I not voting for Mitt Romney? What possible reason could I have to not vote for Mitt Romney. It's just irrational to vote for Obama instead. I'm glad George Will figured out what's wrong with me, because I sure like it when rich, privileged, elitist snobs explain to me what my problem is.

unclejeems October 2, 2012 at 7:11 pm

That would make the 99.9% of the black voters in the US racist. Go figure.

IceCreamEmpress October 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Well, duh! Whoever smelt it, dealt it!

JohnnyQuick October 2, 2012 at 9:59 pm

If it wasn't for those damn liberal sports-team owners, George Will would've gotten to be a professional ball-player. And if it wasn't for those damn black dudes, his penis would seem bigger.

littlebigdaddy October 2, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Cleveland Indians…Is this an Elizabeth Warren thread?

kittensdontlie October 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

There is an interconnectedness here that transcends threads. Elizabeth Warren did fire Frank Robinson for impersonating an Indian, and that is why Scott Brown's Chief of Staff, Wahoo, is on the warpath.

Barbara_ October 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

George Will=Clueless Joe Jackson.

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Barb strikes again.

Barbara_ October 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Loving the new avatar, Bobbert.

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Unfortunately, I can't revert my actual body to 1974.

One_who_wanders October 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

We can close the comments on this one now.

Barbara_ October 2, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Thanks One!

PhilippePetain October 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

How do you do it.

Barbara_ October 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Pop Rocks and Mountain Dew, Philippe.

tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Elvis Costello libel!

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 2:12 am

You leave Michael Jackson's father out of this, ya' hear?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:10 pm

So if we just fire the nigger, that will prove we finally have gotten over racism. George Will should just fucking go blow a goat, really, he should. At least then he'd be doing something useful in this world, even if its just to make one fucking goat happy.

finallyhappy October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Pretty sure he couldn't make even a goat happy

Maman October 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm

we are over racism and we have stopped him from taking our guns. Sheesh. Where have you been?

Nothingisamiss October 2, 2012 at 3:49 pm

prommie, I would upfist you all the day long for this comment.

tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:26 pm

"George Will should just fucking go blow a goat, really, he should. At least then he'd be doing something useful in this world, even if its just to make one fucking goat happy."

Or, at the very least, we wouldn't be able to understand all the stupid shit he was saying around the dick in his mouth.

Callyson October 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

In baseball, a game without a clock…Small, incremental gains matter because the game goes on until someone makes the 27th out. Until then, there is hope.

What, the baseball whiz is unaware of the phenomenon of extra-inning games, which have more than 27 outs? FFS, I hate baseball and I know that much…

James Michael Curley October 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Twenty four outs if you're ahead going into the bottom of the ninth or in the George Will version, watching the game with a bottom and a fifth.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

The game ends on the 27th out of the visiting team.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Game ends on the 27th out of the trailing team.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I was using his scenario. :-P

James Michael Curley October 2, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Right, I wasn’t thinking that way.

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Hoist by his own desire to make a clever.phrase.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:50 pm

On his own retard?

tbogg October 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

You can't fire Obama because once you go Barack, you never go back

Reginald_Perrin October 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Of course black people get all the breaks, they even had their own drinking fountains.

anniegetyerfun October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

But were they happy? No.

finallyhappy October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

and bathrooms- and the balcony seats in movie theaters

Generation[redacted] October 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

But not bathrooms in movie theaters. The well-heeled could bring their own pissing jars hidden in their top hats.

BaldarTFlagass October 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

And they had reserved seats on the bus.

chicken_thief October 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

And until Lincoln rooned it for them, the ultimate in job security.

Generation[redacted] October 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

That's when Lincoln fired all the crop pickers?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

They are childlike and irresponsible and really, it was the best thing for them, their masters valued them and took good care of them; why it really worked out very well for them, as Barbara the fucking Elder Bush said.

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm

And all whites get is a disproportionate representation in Congress… so fucked up.

no_gravity October 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

George Will is a fucking Cubs fans, so he should be used to being on the losing side.

Baconzgood October 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

BACONZ BASEBALL TEAM LIBEL!!!!!!

OzoneTom October 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Does Mitt Romney think that everything would be easier for him if he were black?

nounverb911 October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Or Latino?

LetUsBray October 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Well, didn't Willard say he'd have a better chance of winning if his parents were Mexican?

As opposed, evidently, to his grandparents.

Maman October 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Let's see how brown he is tomorrow!

Radiotherapy October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

First, he would have to be human.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Paint libel!

Beach_Bubba_Tex October 2, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Will seems quite bothered by MSNBC. I think he wants a booking on Al Sharpton's show.

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:23 pm

That would be Must See TeeVee.

SexySmurf October 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Henceforth, African Americans, too, could enjoy the God-given right to be scapegoats for impatient team owners or incompetent team executives.

The reason Obama will be reelected is that Mormons can finally enjoy the Space Jesus-given right to be incompetent team executives. It's called progress.

smashedinhat October 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Fucking racists. How can there always be so many of them? Isn't there a meteor or something with just their name on it?

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

There would be, if God existed. Sadly, space rocks didn't give a flying fuck about George Will being a disgrace to the human race.

KeepFnThatChicken October 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

"Kolob"

Callyson October 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm

And so much for the wingnut meme that *we* are the ones who constantly bring race into everything…

BaldarTFlagass October 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"the nation…seems especially reluctant to give up on the first African American president."

Rush Limbaugh said the same thing about Donovan McNabb when he worked for ESPN for a minute or two a while back.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

That was back before racism was "in" again.

Trannysurprise October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Poor Will. I'm guessing he thinks Barak has something he doesn't.

HogeyeGrex October 2, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Joe Biden apparently does.

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm

The respect of whites and blacks?

LetUsBray October 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Real hair on his head?

tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Yeah, "thinks".

nounverb911 October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Will is set to star in the remake of "Damn Yankees".

HogeyeGrex October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Well, he'll get along fine with Nugent, but Jack is a pretty decent fellow and might not be having any of his shit.

HistoriCat October 2, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I shudder to think who will play Lola.

DemmeFatale October 2, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Hey!
Don't give him to us!
Rudy is punishment enough!

James Michael Curley October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

So the Cleveland Indians did this tomahawk chop on Frank Robinson Where was Scott Brown stop them, or has this been going on for thirty-five years with Brown?

UnholyMoses October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Will's bow tie must be on too tight and, thus, is cutting off blood to his brain head.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

My father referred to that gloating smugness of someone who thinks they got one over on people by saying "he think's he's fucking cute." These fucking conservative pundits give off that obnoxious fucking air whenever they come up with some fucking sophistry like this. They are proud, it fucking pours out of them, their fucking pride in coming up with a subtle lie, a false syllogism that they think will fool the stupid. Motherfucking Cocksuckers, thats what my Dad would call them, those fucksticks who think they're cute, who think their shit doesn't stink.

Ruhe October 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I was thinking the same thing.

chicken_thief October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

"…that they think will fool the stupid."

If it didn't work every freakin' time he/they might move on to another tactic. But if it ain't broke….

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Promzarelli Sr. was a ballet instructor?

KeepFnThatChicken October 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I would take dance lessons from him!

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

A welder. Union. Fucking Esso.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

And also, Mr. Kincaid, I just wanted to say, aaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

By the time they added that "Fakakta Promzarelli" character for the Very Special Wedding, the show had jumped the snark!

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Holy hell, that name kicks the shit out of Pinky Tuscadero, my erstwhile hero of note. I'm getting a satin jacket made NOW. Happy Happy Days in deed.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

This'll last way longer than Joanie Loves Chachi.

James Michael Curley October 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

1237 E. Passyunk Ave. just in case you forgot the address.
You sound a little testy today.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

huh?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Oh OK I got it, over by Ikea, I will be passing by there in a few days on the way from the airport, Makes sense, how can you visit Philly and not get a cheesesteak from the angry obnoxious racist english-only fuckheads? Oh, I know how, just fucking don't.

James Michael Curley October 2, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Sounds like the place has changed a little, not too surprising as I haven’t been there since 1982/3 when I took some Brits I was meeting with in Paulsboro. No, cheddah?

Stevola October 3, 2012 at 1:41 am

Five million cheesesteak places in the city and all the visitors want to go to 9th & Passyunk. Sheesh

HogeyeGrex October 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

The word I always think of is "backpfeifengesicht." It loosely translates to "A face badly in need of a fist" or some such. There is a particulartype ofsmirk that really brings it out for me.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:47 pm

God I love that!

gullywompr October 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

After reading that all I can say is – "Prom, I am you father."

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

The worst I ever heard from Rev. Kincaid was "pull in that lip, or you're gonna get your tukhus warmed!!" (I think he picked that word up while working for a Jewish grocer, before he became a preacher.)

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Worst I ever heard was "That motherfucking cocksucker, fuck him that stupid fuck. Fucking fuckstick should go shit in his hat, the fucking asshole." From my father I inherited this gift for mental-patient string-cursing.

IceCreamEmpress October 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

"Shit in your hat" was such a frequent curse in the early 20th century that the phrase "in your hat" was specifically forbidden by the Hayes Code for movies.

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Prommie, you're speaking my language (literally and figuratively). And your Dad sounds like he is/was several slices of awesome.

DemmeFatale October 2, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I heart your Dad.

anniegetyerfun October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Shambles, eh? Weird, because I thought that the administration was doing OK. I mean, the bar is set pretty low, given the previous administration, but still.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

He meant "shackles," I'm sure

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

agyf:

You are correct!

Anyone who bothers to look up the definition of "shambles" will think of the streets in Iraq running with blood. The crimson covered hills of Afghanistan. The bodies of innocent women and children strewn across the Middle East. The…well, you probably get the point by now…

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:14 pm

George Will at the word-by-word level seems smart, but at the sentence level you realize that he is, in fact, profoundly stupid.

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Remember the Gary Troudeau cartoons where Will had a "quote boy?"

Gratuitous World October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Will concluded, "In closing, Jobu does NOT need a refill."

Beach_Bubba_Tex October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Well cited

mbobier October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Look at the progress you've made, George Will — pretty soon, the WaPo and the various teevee shows on which you bloviate might feel free to fire you for your patronizing attitude and tone-deaf statements, even though you're a conservative white guy!

Oh, wait….

sharethegrief October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

George Will's pin-up is his toupee.

Ruhe October 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Does he write letters to it, demanding that it be his porn-star?

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Hair goes the neighborhood.

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

It was designated by God.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

But an even more important milestone of progress occurred June 19, 1977, when the Indians fired him. That was colorblind equality.

I eagerly await Will's Nov. 7, 2012 column, in which he points out that the RE-election of a black President is an even bigger watershed in American race relations, since it means we didn't elect him out of some Tee ball award of a sense of "fairness"

After all, as Will himself points out, his administration is a shambles and so he probably doesn't deserve re-election. Unless he's white and named Bush, of course.

Maman October 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

re-electing a white dude is just tradition.

KeepFnThatChicken October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

…though I am content knowing that "more Americans realized deep down inside they can't see Kolob through a telescope" is equally valid a reason.

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

If so, the 2012 election speaks well of the nation’s heart, if not its head.

They are so gleefully running with the "we vote for him only because his black-ness" all the while daring anyone to "darkly suggest" they "sniff racism" I want to punch him where his dick should be. Just shut up George you pseudo-intellectual-more-lady-like-version-of-Peggy-Noonan-baseball-sucking-hack.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Of all the people I imagined would at least take a stab at admitting Romney has been a disaster, George Will would have been high on that list. This is both surprising and disappointing that he's gone Full J-Rube.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Jocksniffers are all repressed homosexuals. Will just wishes he could be blowing Obama. Hell he wrote a fucking book that was nothing more nor less than a 600 page verbal blowjob of Barry Bonds. And after all that steamy homoerotic love for the purity and wonderfulness of Bonds it turns out Bonds was juicing like a fucking bicycle racer. Fucking Will gets everything wrong.

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

But he says it in that waaaaaaay that lets you knoooooow he's got so muuuuuch going ooooooooooon in his little head there, he just thinks more than aaaaaaaaaany of usssssss. God I hate him. And Barry Bonds. And baseball now, and steamy homoerotic love wants to talk to you about besmirching it's name. Also, blowjobs.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Fucking arrogant pretentious intellectual snob, I can just see him discussing the French wine regions over his breakfast of eggs over wilted arugula with chipotle dressing.

Its not what he does per se, I mean, its that he's doing it WRONG! We do it RIGHT!

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

George Will would NEVER EVER have such a conversation NOR properly appreciate the never seen back of the neck tattoo on the Never Ending Story waitress who JUST misses being really really cute. Nuance escapes these people, always.

SexySmurf October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Don't forget Obama once committed the impeachable offense of wearing blue jeans.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Don't forget Obama once committed the impeachable offense of wearing blue not-mommy jeans.

FTFY

KeepFnThatChicken October 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

…and Mitt wore his mom's jeans. Your point?

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Yes, the only President ever to wear jeans.

horsedreamer_1 October 2, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Lana del Libel!!!!

edgydrifter October 2, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Canning the black dude because he's black to prove you're not racist is like endangering the lives of women by outlawing reproductive health services to prove you're not sexist, or devaluing the American worker by shipping jobs overseas, eliminating workplace safety regulations and rescinding the minimum wage to prove you're a friend of the American worker. Not that anyone would fall for that, right?

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Well said!

DemmeFatale October 2, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Awww…
Is he trying to make this a viral theory to help Mitt?
Nice try, but too late!

ttommyunger October 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Smug, elitist douchebag says what?

AlterNewt October 2, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Goddammit, ttommy. That was perfect.

ttommyunger October 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Many thanks !Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

UnholyMoses October 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm

This is the same argument that abusers use. "I only get mad and hit you because I love you so much. Can't ya see that, baby?"

I mean, really. What. The. Holy. Fuck?

TribecaMike October 2, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Will might want to avoid Baltimore for the next few decades until this blows over.

OneYieldRegular October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

George Will columns should come in build-your-own kits, as they invariably contain the same basic ingredients and would not be difficult to assemble even without instructions or opposable thumbs.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Seeing that I’m a full 1/256 black all I can say is WHERE IS FREE PHONE?!!!!!!1!

Steverino247 October 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Your grandmother was Dutch?

Peckerwood_Pete October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Pro Baseball… the one thing more boring, slow, and meaningless than mainstream politics….

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

GOLF LIBEL!

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm

DRESSAGE LIBEL!

chicken_thief October 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm

T-PAW LIBELZ!!!!

DemmeFatale October 2, 2012 at 7:17 pm

CURLING LIBEL!

rickmaci October 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm

"…in a way quite unlike that darkly suggested by, for example, MSNBC…"

Double entendre much George?

kittensdontlie October 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

"It was a dark and stormy night….all the negroes were riled up after being let go from their factory jobs..

docterry6973 October 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Let me get this right. If I vote against the Kenyan anti-colonialist socialist communist nazi then I prove that I am not a racist. Sounds right to me, George.

GeorgiaBurning October 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Using the Cleveland Indians as a positive example of how to manage something? Jeez, Romney's supporters are desperate.

kittensdontlie October 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Now if instead, the Cleveland Browns were the example…errr…

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Remember the Mistake By the Lake? 80,000+ seats and about 5,000 fans in them.

EatsBabyDingos October 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

George Will smells like an old cabbage fart.

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I heard he likes black licorice.

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I've seen similar comments from trolls elsewhere. It's insane. They actually try to claim
Obama has it easier by being black. Ah, no; if he was a white guy he would have had things ten times easier. What the fuck do these people have where their brains are supposed to be?

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

cotton balls?

Fare la Volpe October 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Freshly picked!

mavenmaven October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Guns!

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Safe deposit vaults for Mitt's money?

mrblifil October 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

That's nothing, the real people in the catbird seat are the Latinos! Mitt even wishes HE was one.

BoroPrimorac October 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Curry goat.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 2, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Their back pockets.

DemmeFatale October 2, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Well, their heads are up their asses, so…

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 2:23 am

…shit for brains, then?

Schmannnity October 2, 2012 at 2:19 pm

And voting for the Republican's trickle down is like hiring Billy Martin (again.)

nounverb911 October 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

George Will is still mad at Jackie Robinson for stealing home in the '55 World Series.

Estproph October 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

George Will is really pissed that he doesn't have the front of the bus reserved anymore, isn't he?

RedStatePinko October 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

One thing about Porgie that constantly boggles my feeble mind is that, while attending my Alma Mater, Trinity College in Hartford (the bow-tie and insurance capital of the world) he actually ORGANIZED STUDENTS TO GO ON THE FREEDOM RIDES. He has been atoning for his race-, class-, and bowtie-treason ever since. I guess.

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Did he really? WTF happens to some people? I would hear 'You'll become a conservative/Republican/Blah blah blah when you're older…"
Really? Because now I'm older and even more Liberal than I ever was. Not all of us leave our brains and hearts behind as we age.

kyeshinka October 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Wild Thing! You make my heart sing!

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

"sniff racism in any criticism of their pin-up"

No, people sniff racism at obviously racist criticism of Obama (oh and I see that "pin-up" is more of that "the one / messiah" bullshit that wingnuts try to pin on liberals even though it bears no resemblance whatsoever to reality). Which, you know, is everywhere; you'd have to be deliberately blind and deaf to miss it.

AutomaticPilot October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

You misspelled "Lawd!" It can also be spelled "Oh Lawdy!"

Poindexter718 October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Your analogy would only work, George, if the only other manager available was a dickish football coach whose plan for turning the Indians around was raising ticket prices and cutting the salaries of all the journeymen players to give a few more million per year to the star and agreeing, a priori, to join in if the Red Sox decide to bomb the Yankees.

GeorgiaBurning October 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

sort of like Gary Bettman, you mean?

IncenseDebate October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

So, I suppose Liz Warren's relatives played for the Indians? They fired Frank Robinson, so Will is endorsing Prof. Warren? It kinda makes sense in a way somehow.

chicken_thief October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Did it occur to George, during this moment of brilliance, that there are choices. That is, Robinson wasn't fired and then the Indians managed on their own – he was replaced with whoever the owners thought was the *best available at the time*. Dittos POTUS elections – we don't fire without replacing, we view the options at the time and pick the best of the two (essentially).

So fire Obama for Romney?! Will, go fuck yourself.

YouBetcha October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

No.

KeepFnThatChicken October 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Jesus, George… with you, everything is baseball. I bet you have sex with a fielder's glove on, don't you?

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 2:50 pm

You mean has sex with a fielder's glove, right?

Mittaplasia October 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Rumor has it that he's a, um…CATCHER!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 2, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

horsedreamer_1 October 2, 2012 at 9:04 pm

He wears a cup to make it seem bigger.

Goonemeritus October 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Sure we may be over the whole “black” thing but it might be a few more years before our nation is finally confident enough to tell a rich white guy to go pound sand.

terriblyfamous October 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

What are you, a fucking racist?

cousinitt October 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Geogre Will, you ignorant slut. "darkly suggested"? Haha, oh, I get it, you made a funneh!

Upper class twit.

Baconzgood October 2, 2012 at 2:24 pm

There's no racism in Baseball. Marge Schott taught me that.

kyeshinka October 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

George Will's the kind of guy who looks up every fucking word in the dictionary while you're playing Scrabble, including ones that are in everyday use.

CalvinsChoice October 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I looked up "senile" in the dictionary and saw George Will's picture.

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Don't you lose a turn if you look the word up and it's there?

Mumbletypeg October 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Obama’s administration is in shambles, yet he is prospering politically.

Hyperbolic assertions aside, George, your byzantine thoughts as they get processed into prose reminds me how I b.s.'d my way through many a writing assignment that I couldn't dodge my way out from under.
In other words, your style might appease the crowd you're pandering to, but the substance of your argument = FAIL

fredbell October 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

This is confusing…Did Frank Robinson claim he was an Indian?…Dancing Dave Gregory should ask John McCain about this next Sunday…Spend 20 minutes on it…

mrblifil October 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

So I assume if the worst case scenario is realized and Obama is re-elected that leaves capping his ass as the only way to guarantee progress in the civil rights arena.

CalvinsChoice October 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

With votes, right?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

The tree of liberty demands it!

mavenmaven October 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Dr Freud like's Will's use of the term "darkly suggested" in this context.

Generation[redacted] October 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm

He's just using black humor to comment on a political race. Playing the baseball card, as it were.

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Oh, that's nice!

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 2:47 pm

This is a comment that should get bonus upfisties.

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I'm a woman and I've never been fired, so obviously sexism is still alive and well.

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I'm a white guy and was fired once. I was told it was for making sandwiches too slowly (it was at a deli), but I guess it was because the owner was racist and so fired the white dudes.

anniegetyerfun October 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

If only you had been black, he wouldn't have been able to part with you! It's so unfair!

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I'm a white male and I've been fired twice; mainly because other white guys fucked up the economy.

mille derps October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

White House been verra verra good to me.

Boojum October 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm

See, and here I was thinking all of those instances of racists hiring black people because it made them look good on paper, then firing them for bullshit reasons that were really the fault of the white co-workers were another example of racism. But, hey, George Will has liberated me from my racist perception-of-racism-as-involving-race-discrimination-ism. Now, white people (and brown people, let's not be racist!), you have a get out of jail free card for anything you do to an employee after you hire them.

Hiring one black person, ever, is like a vaccine against being racist.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Its double-reverse postmodern racism, doncha know. Nowadays, the only people who aren't racist are the racists!

Self-Uploader October 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

This George Will person, does he get paid for writing this drivel?

Radiotherapy October 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I heard they now use an "Obama phone" to call the bullpen.

Generation[redacted] October 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

It's all bull from George's pen.

Mittens Howell, III October 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

One track mind?

Is that like"tax-cut, tax -cut, tax cut", that kind of thing?

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

"Mitt's not black Mitt's not black Mitt's not black" also too.

Mittens Howell, III October 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

My exquisitely sensitive olfactory receptors detect a giant dog turd wearing a bow tie.

BartStarrland October 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Cleveland Indians record under Frank Robinson's tenure:186-189. Cleveland Indians record in the 375 games that followed: 167-208.

Cleopatriot October 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Is that like destroying the village to save the village?

Nostrildamus October 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

George, enough with the columns! Just go hump a catcher's mitt. We'll both be happier.

Gleem McShineys October 2, 2012 at 5:01 pm

He's not done humping this Mitt yet.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

So anyone who votes for Obama for a second term is the REAL racist.

Yeaaah …..

SayItWithWookies October 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Clearly the Obama administration is in a shambles, George — it hasn't done anything you wanted it to do. GM wasn't allowed to die and be outsourced to India; Dubya's family friend Osama wasn't allowed to practice his love with women all over the world; we now toil under the oppressive yoke of affordable healthcare; the finance industry will have to follow all sorts of rules, man; and the rich will be oppressed with 3% higher tax rates if something isn't done double-quick. And yet the people seem perfectly accepting of this legacy of failure — who can explain it?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Hey fakakta, this is irony, right? Did I get it right?

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Not bad old man, but this is still more sarcasm.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Fuck. I'm gonna have to get more practice. But I'll get it right, dammit, I am determined.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Say what you want, at least he's right about one thing:

It's spelled W-I-L-L.

Cleopatriot October 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Hasn't George Will noticed the Indian's logo? Or is that not racist enough for him.

GregComlish October 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm

that's Scott Brown's costume for his next debate

Blueb4sinrise October 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Also , too, George……….Mayor Carl Stokes in 1968.
An actual election, not a hiring by owners.

iburl October 2, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I want to know what date the first insufferable, bow-tie wearing, Republican pundit was fired.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Well, Tucker Carlson, you gotta admit, has been fired more than I have, and thats saying something.

iburl October 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm

A true pioneer.

tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Not soon enough.

fuflans October 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

instead, the nation, which is generally reluctant to declare a president a failure — thereby admitting that it made a mistake in choosing him — seems especially reluctant to give up on the first African American president.

actually george we aren't ready to give up on him because he's not, you know, a failure.

Radiotherapy October 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Next up: Will compares the Obama administration to Dock Ellis' no-hitter while high on LSD.

BartStarrland October 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

So baseball only took 30 years to go from player integration to that level of 'enlightment'. Sure, count me in for a Romney/Ryan 2038 ticket.

GregComlish October 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Michael Steele says what?

Blueb4sinrise October 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Central to his point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

barto October 2, 2012 at 2:45 pm

George Will invents the mobeus strip of racism logical equivalent for privileged white men! Nicely done, George, nicely done!

GregComlish October 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"Black people have it easy because whenever we attack them with the lamest, most base, most unimaginative insults possible, people inevitably call us racist"

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

George Will: "I know someone will call this column racist, and my mentioning of that inevitability absolves me of any and all racism. And now, without further ado: Fire that Black!"

Indiepalin October 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Romney – Chief Wahoo 2012 !!

Toomush_Infer October 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

So, if I got this right: forget Hispanic, what if Romney were Black!!!!…how good would he have it then, henggghhh???….you know, maybe George has been sitting up in the cheap seats for too many years, the thin air has finally gotten to him….

Indiepalin October 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

If Romney were black, he'd have played Omar on "The Wire"

BoroPrimorac October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

We'll never know because the black Romney, Herman Cain, got so beat up by the establishment that he didn't stand a chance.

poorgradstudent October 2, 2012 at 2:51 pm

George Will and baseball are a perfect match.

"…baseball is best experienced as a passionate game, beaten in excitement only by every other sport." -Lisa Simpson

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Awww, I love Baseball. But I still hate George Will. I wish he'd STFU or go watch football and pontificate endlessly about that.

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

It really bothers me that Will likes baseball. That fact alone almost ruins the game for me.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Oh it does ruin it for me. Completely. That and the mind-destroying awful boreingness of watching a bunch of rednecks chew tobacco and scratch their balls interminably between pitches which happen about once every half hour.

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Thankfully chewing tobacco is no longer much of an issue… Most just munch on sunflower seeds. But I get your point.

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:47 pm

It's funny, I never see the game as boring. But I'm not a fan of Football or Hockey, so it's the slow burn vs. fast pace I guess.
Let's not crucify baseball just because a serious douche likes it.

HistoriCat October 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Sure football is fast paced … as long as you don't pay any attention to all that interminable time they spend between plays.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Cars full of needles, EPO and steroids libel!

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Dude had to feed his team, not just his ego, man.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 8:11 pm

To be honest, since Prommie didn't call Armstrong out by name, I was going more with the Festina border incident from '98. Let's face it, cycling's had a long tradition of innovation in doping, unphased by the deaths that resulted.

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Instead, the nation, which is generally reluctant to declare a president a failure — thereby admitting that it made a mistake in choosing him…

Is G. Will talking about G. W. Bush here, or Obama?

owhatever October 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

George Will, a black man, knows these things and more. He dances Gangnam-style while putting on his bow tie.

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Of course, George Will fails to mention that Cleveland told Mr. Robinson "We want you to be a PLAYER Manager." Who was the last guy to get stuck with that job? Rogers Hornsby (who traded himself)? Lou Boudreau? Al Lopez?

Typical way a Black man gets treated. Do twice the work for half the credit.

PS: When the great Frank Robinson was with the Cinncinnati Reds, the owner Bill DeWitt was approached with a trade offer. His reply? "I wouldn't trade Frank Robinson for your whole team."

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:02 pm

It sounds like George Will is trying to find a reason that would justify why President Obama still maintains support in this country. His justification doesn't sound racist at all. Move along, nothing to see here.

shelwood46 October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Wait, George, I can do this, too:

Much like Frank Robinson, who had to agree to be a player-manager to get the job, Obama has had to work much harder than previous presidents. Robinson went on to be hired by three other teams to do the same job, winning Manager of the Year honors and eventually compiling 1000 wins as a manager, so if we don't re-elect Obama now, we will at some point elect him for a non-consecutive term during which he will be awesome. During the end of his tenure in Montreal, Robinson was publicly criticized for playing too much golf, which proves that Canadians can be racist assholes, too.

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Didn't Donald Trump prove that he wasn't a racist by hiring Arsenio Hall? I suppose he needs to take the next step and fire him now.

LibrarianX October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

George Will is still alive?

rocktonsam October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

so whats next George, a brother can't swim?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Can't skate either, weak ankles. And scared of dogs and sperrits, too.

anniegetyerfun October 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

"Instead, the nation, which is generally reluctant to declare a president a failure…"

Oh, fuck that shit right in the eye. There's nothing Americans love MORE than claiming that a President is a failure, especially if they are a part of the 48.5% that didn't vote for him.

Incitefully_Joe October 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

IIRC, Republicans waited all of six weeks before declaring that the Obama administration was a failure. So, less like "general reluctance" and more like "momentary hesitation", honestly.

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

George Will, you are so so funny! Yes, only 'the kids' are into Obama, certainly not people over 50 LIKE ME AND NEARLY EVERYONE I KNOW. If only we were more adult, we'd all vote for the party of War, MeanJesus and Tax Cuts.

Pompous horse's ass is pompous.

alzronnie October 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Firing negroes is actually a blessing as you're freeing them of that mo' money, mo' problems syndrome.

carlgt1 October 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I've never seen such tragically hilarious equivocation from the right. Yeah, after four years of never cooperating with him, calling him every name in the book, sending flyers out with him in African native garb thru eating watermelons & fried chicken, asserting he's on the side of the terrorists, in fact "Muslin" too — it's just that Americans don't want to give up on the first black prez…..

pdiddycornchips October 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

George Will is trying to explain something that has been bugging the shit out of conservative pundits for months. Why, given the state of our economy, aren't we winning? They've tried to come up with any number of possible explanations. "The polls are wrong!!", "Not enough Paul Ryan!!!", and now, "Reverse racist!!". They just can't imagine why people prefer the President over their nominee. It's never occurred to them that the problem might be them. Yes, the President should be vulnerable but he'll likely win and win easily. People understand instinctively that eight years of incompetence and four years of refusing to govern should not be rewarded with even more power to fuck shit up. That's why you're losing Mr. Will.
Your side offers nothing beyond bullshit and tax cuts for billionaires. Neither will do much to improve the economy or create jobs. But as a proud dirty liberal hippy of color I urge you to keep fucking that" tax cuts solve everything" chicken for a couple more weeks.

HELisforHEL October 2, 2012 at 3:52 pm

What 8 years of incompetence? Of whom do you speak? What 3+ years of uncooperative behavior worthy of 8 year olds? Whatever could you be referring to?

HistoriCat October 2, 2012 at 4:55 pm

8 years of incompetence – have you forgotten the Clinton years already?!?

BartStarrland October 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

This.

anniegetyerfun October 2, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Seriously, everything is so much easier when you are black. If you can manage to be black and poor (and from the Mississippi Delta), just look how easy life can be.

terriblyfamous October 2, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I'm fairly certain Frank Robinson was not the first black person who got fired in this country. I think I read that in a sociology text book somewhere.

LetUsBray October 2, 2012 at 3:47 pm

In my opinion, making fun of George swill is something that doesn't happen nearly enough. Thank you, wonkette!

TribecaMike October 2, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Thanks, George. You can give Ann Coulter her bullshit back now.

Exhausted66 October 2, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I was a kid at opening day during Robinson's first year with the Indians. He put himself in the game and hit a game winning home run.
Don't try to ruin that memory for me you bow tied bloviator.
Fuck you!

Theywontlisten October 2, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Hey George Willfully ignorant, here's an oldie but a goodie..eat shit and die ( with votes) you pompous piece of dog shit. I'm a long time Orioles fan. Frank and Brooks Robinson are my heroes leave them alone or I'll sic "Killa" Ray Lewis on ya. We Baltimorans stick together you bow tie wearing cat fucker. Fuck Off you fucking fuckwad

le petit mort October 2, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Charlie Pierce had the best line about this piece over at Esquire.com: "Second, if Will believes that the reason the president seems to be prospering right now is because the good heart of America is giving the black fella a break, he's climbed so far up his own ass that he could sneeze and break his collarbone."

dennis1943 October 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

George….tell me this was the product of some white kid from Kansas you purloined from the Interwebs………..

BTWBFDIMHO October 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm

BTW, while browsing my porn collection I've found a pic of Robinson's mother. http://www.peoplequiz.com/images/bios/Mata-Hari.j

Gleem McShineys October 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Speaking of you know, actual shambles, how's Mitt's campaign going so far, Will?

tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm

"darkly suggested"

Ya see what I did there? Hanh? [nudge nudge] Hanh? I said "darkly suggested"! Because he's a darkie! Ya get it? Hanh?

Paulie Walnuts is more subtle than this asshole.

tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Obama’s administration the economy is in shambles, yet he the 1% is prospering politically

tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:48 pm
tessiee October 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Wouldn't George Will's smug face be red if he realized that his comment was an ass-backwards plaigiarizing of a Bella Abzug quote:

"Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor: Equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.”

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 2:08 am

Okay, I usually try to find some snark in all things, but fuck you, George Will. Fuck you to hell. Obama doesn't need your goddamned faux pity, you asshole, and I've had it up to here with the racist condescension.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 2:15 am

Shorter Will:

"I don't think he's been that good from the get-go. I think what we've had here is a little social concern in America. I think the media has been very desirous that a black president do well…"

Georg the Other Dubya, you can kiss my black ass.

tnwoman October 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I don't believe ANYTHING written/spoken by a man with NO lips!

valthemus October 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Yes, Georgie, the 2008 presidential election was just one great big affirmative action thingy. Lots of black people work at the Post… do you even talk to *any* of them?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

And then Leather Tuscadero stumbled on in.

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

What have you got against Leather all of a sudden?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I am a big fan of leather, what do you mean?

chicken_thief October 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm

But not as long as a Twinkie.

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