COCKTOBER  2:50 pm October 2, 2012

Blackmail! Nudie Pix! First Cousins/Lovers! Here Is The Best City Goverment In Florida!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Porked her cousin‘Sup Boynton Beach city commissioner Marlene Ross? Oh, you are totally sure an “evil,” “sinister” fellow commissioner has been threatening to extort you over the sexts you sent to your first cousin/lover? And much of the story is given to you breathlessly narrating in bodice-ripping Shades of Gray dialogue how you tried to hold off your first cousin/lover, etc., and it is all verbatim and weird? But all the cops who looked into it were like, “dude, lady, this does not fit ‘extortion’ but maybe you could talk to Lifetime?” Fun story! Fun city commission! Let us cover our computer screens from prying eyes, and blockquote, together!

In late 2010 or early 2011, Ross told prosecutors, she had sent her first cousin Rogelio Vera – via private messaging on Facebook — “compromising” photos of herself that she’d previously created.

“You had some sort of relationship?” State Attorney’s Office Detective Robert Flechaus asked Ross in a Sept. 12 interview.

“Yes,” Ross said in audio supplied to The Post.

It was in late 2010, Ross said.

“He started with the flirting,” she said. “I said, ‘Oh, c’mon. This is not right.’ He’s a first cousin. ‘This is not right. You’ve got to stop.’”

Unable to resist the hunky felon first-cousin, Ross embarked on a sexy and sexty relationship, but then the felon first cousin’s wife found the pictures! And for reasons that we can just never understand, she wasn’t all like “bygones”!

“She (Lillian Vera) calls me. And she’s, ‘Oh, I can’t believe you. I never thought you’d do this.’ I said, ‘Lillian. Let this go.’”

Later, she said, Lillian Vera sent her text messages, “mean, vicious stuff,’ and told her she was going to distribute the photos.

Lillian Vera would tell prosecutors this summer that her estranged husband had shown her the images once and she didn’t have copies. Neither Lillian Vera nor her divorce attorneys would comment for this story; Rogelio Vera couldn’t be reached.

MEAN VICIOUS STUFF. What kind of wife sends MEAN VICIOUS STUFF to the cousin-in-law who is fucking her husband? Get with the program, LILLIAN.

Anyway, from then on Marlene Ross lives in fear that an “evil” “corrupt” lobbyist is trying to extort her into voting his way, in code:

In comments that were cryptic to most in the chambers but which Ross believed were aimed at her, [David] Katz suggested “consequences” for voting against his close friend, former Mayor Jerry Taylor, to fill out the term of a commissioner who had resigned in July. Ross continued that night to oppose Taylor and the commission remained deadlocked, 2-2.

After interviewing Ross at least three times, prosecutors concluded that “none of the scenarios described by Ms. Ross involved behavior that could be considered criminal extortion,” Daniel Funk, assistant Palm Beach County state attorney, wrote in a memo dated Thursday.

Awfully nice city commission you have there, Marlene Ross. Shame if anything happened to it.

But is this Katz fellow corrupt and evil? Corrupt yes! Evil we can’t speak to! But apparently everyone who’s so much as looked at Boynton Beach on a map is stone cold gettin’ investigated for corruption and pressuring everyone else and evading taxes and being a shitbag (including, oddly, Marlene Ross!). Boynton Beach is You.

[PalmBeachPost]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 214 comments }

Meathamper October 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Saucy salacious sexy sassy sexts

Lascauxcaveman October 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Cute cousin kissy-call communications.

Meathamper October 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Familial, fast and furious fucking.

Barbara_ October 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm

And I thought Thanksgiving was awkward at the Sandusky house. Jesus!

ChillBill October 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Uhm…pics or GTFO?

GunToting[Redacted] October 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I'd hit it.

Pragmatist2 October 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

In West Virginia this would insure reelection.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 12:56 am

It's not a bug, it's a feature…with incurable bugs.

nounverb911 October 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

But how does this effect Allan West?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

He is looking into the pics as we speak.

Self-Uploader October 2, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I'm confused. I've been to Boynton Beach and had the impression that only old Jews lived there. I doubt they are screwing their first cousins as the first cousins are already dead.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Yea, well, it's not like the living ones would ever notice…

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Obviously, the single scene ain't bumping.

zumpie October 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Hee!!! My MIL lives in Boynton. This would mark the second time I've even heard of people younger than 112 doing anything there (the other one was some chippie offing her embezzler husband). I guess the dating pool for the not totally old set is kinda limited, huh?

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Sounds to me more like Boinkin' Beach.

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Darn you.

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 10:45 pm

My p-rating has been moving more slowly than (r)Money's poll numbers. I've been stuck at 118 since Moby Dick was a guppy. Perhaps the long tail of 5,000+ posts is taking it's toll?

Not that I care about having a big p- of course. Size doesn't matter.

Does it?

MilwaukeeKent October 2, 2012 at 11:36 pm

If it's any consolation, I envy your P-ness.

Grief_Lessons October 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm

The first-cousin USFB returns to teh Wonkette!

weejee October 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm

You can take the kin from Appalachia, but you can't take Appalachia from the kin.

Terry October 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Marlene was born in Cuba, making her a hot Latin lady not a hill billy. We must get our stereotypes right!

weejee October 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

From the Cuban hillz?

PhilippePetain October 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

¡Ay Prima Claiente!

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 12:59 am

Cuba has hills. What's the dimunitive for the Spanish William?

Mittens Howell, III October 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

In my mind, I just ripped my bodice

whatever that is.

Also, fap.

LastGasp October 2, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Criminal extortion, no. Criminal exertion, maybe.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Actually, the PBP missed the story completely, which the Daily Mail got (of all places!)

The clearest hint that Mr Katz was aware of the images was when he said at a meeting in September that multiple government agencies were investigation 'transmittal of messages and pictures between elected officials and convicted felons'.
On top of that, he used the threat as a way to scare her into voting for an friend of his to get a job: 'Whatever consequences they’re concerned with if they vote in favor of his appointment, they will pale into insignificance as to the ones that would come otherwise,' he said.

Mumbletypeg October 2, 2012 at 2:58 pm

bodice-ripping Shades of Gray dialogue

Except, I recall with that work's introduction into annals of contemporary literature, as a boon to these modern times, said trash fiction exemplified the edgy act of "sweatpants-ripping"~

pdiddycornchips October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Yeah, the only thing SOG about this is the part where the lobbyist says there will be "consequences". Which way did she vote? Did the lobbyist spank her?

Radiotherapy October 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

"Sweetpants" or "Sweatpanties" would work too.

Crank_Tango October 2, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I have the weirdest boner.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Have you told your first cousin?

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Facebook Profile Pictures!!

Crank_Tango October 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

tag, tag, tag.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 12:59 am

That's what he said.

Toomush_Infer October 2, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Is it shaped like a banana, can you feed it to your monkey?…

HogeyeGrex October 2, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Everything after "Shades of Gray" I heard in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried.

*weeps*

MosesInvests October 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

AFLAC!

Stevola October 3, 2012 at 1:16 am

He should do the audio book. The whole trilogy.

HogeyeGrex October 3, 2012 at 2:06 am
Stevola October 3, 2012 at 2:20 am

YES! That's the way it should be heard!

Love the women's reactions, too.

gullywompr October 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I can't believe this lady sent off the nekkid pictures after just a little flirting!

What did you say her email address is again?

Whatever October 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Apparently they may have said info at The City of Boynton Beach website.

gullywompr October 2, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Made you look!

Whatever October 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Was worth it.
Yum

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Totally tap that

Baconzgood October 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Totally FAP TO that.

FIXED

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Tits or GTFO. I don't fap to clothing.

Altho she has some nice suits.

Baconzgood October 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Under those suits she's buck nekid. C'mon use the imagination. Obviously if she's boinking her cousin she is freaky. Like maybe a little too freaky for Baconz…maybe.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Lemme show you how its done, my man.

nonbeliever7 October 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Yawn. This is an awfully slow start to Cocktober. Text me when it involves rent-boys, diapers, or goats.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Paul Ryan had some free time?

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Come on, man, it's only two days in and we've had three sex scandals!

nonbeliever7 October 2, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Sorry, I totally forgot about the hairy musician with the derringer in his panties.

Mumbletypeg October 2, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Maybe in a few more weeks… "Kicktober"?

As in: "Hon, today I felt your li'l son/ daughter/ second-cousin-once-removed kick finally"

MonkeyHamlet October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

What's the big deal? Rogelio was just taking a "crack" at the commissioners' office.

BaldarTFlagass October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I don't watch the daytime soaps, is this a synopsis of As the World Turns from last week or something?

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Haven't they all died off? You have to learn Spanish if you want your daily serial dramas now.

M. Bouffant October 2, 2012 at 11:43 pm

ATWT has been OTA (Off the Air) for just over two yrs. now.

Blueb4sinrise October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

YOWZA!!! Now I have a 'Palm Beach Post'

Tequila Mockingbird October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

You think that's weird? During sex, she would whisper in his ear, "Pretend you're my dad."

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 1:02 am

WIN

Mittens Howell, III October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Cousin pork is a southern delicacy.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Wait. Mrs Cunningham, Richie's mom, sexted photos of herself????

AWRIGH–

Oh. MarLEne Ross…nevermind.

HarryButtle October 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm

You know, Mrs "C" wasn't a reference to her last name…

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Wait, how was that extortion? This was Florida, in that part of the country where cousin-loving, and even brother-sister loving, is considered perfectly OK; pig-fucking too.

SayItWithWookies October 2, 2012 at 3:01 pm

So — she just wanted to tell everybody that she was fucking her cousin but couldn't come up with a classy way of doing that so made up an extortion plot against her? Either that or she's just your run-of-the-mill paranoid cousin-fucker with persecution fantasies.

Jukesgrrl October 2, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Palin … is that you?

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 2, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I was promised nudie pics and now all I have is a confused.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Just imagine your blind and someone is describing them to you.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

What was that? I closed my eyes and now I can't hear you.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Just ignore the weird sensation of buttons being undone….

Guppy October 2, 2012 at 4:02 pm

You have a confused in your pants.

Callyson October 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

According to the article, she's not even the only crazy politico in this town:

Mayor Jose Rodriguez was arrested this year on charges of pressuring the police chief and interim city manager to stop a child abuse investigation. He also is accused in a lawsuit against the Community Redevelopment Agency of helping get rid of its chief in part because she rejected his sexual advances…
And tow firm operator David Floering, who stopped bidding for city contracts in 2010, claiming corruption, has accused Rodriguez of cheating on property taxes and called the mayor a crook and a liar so many times that Rodriguez sued him for defamation; he later dropped the case.

OK, which one of these two is going to get the GOP nomination for Congress? Or does Florida have an open primary, in which case the answer would be both of them, Katie?

SoBeach October 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

This story barely nudges the needle on the South Florida Weird-o-Meter.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I didn't know Florida had dedicated an entire beach to that lady that put out those kinda treacly greeting cards.

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Ya big softy, how do you even know about these?!

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 4:29 pm

My coffee mug: it says "Everyone is entitled to my opinion"

Also, my daughter loved "Moo, Baa, La La La"

HistoriCat October 2, 2012 at 5:12 pm

You haven't lived until you hear Davey Jones (yes, that Davey Jones) sing Your Personal Penguin

M. Bouffant October 2, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Is that what killed him?

Mittens Howell, III October 2, 2012 at 3:04 pm

So Marlene's the fork in the family tree?

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

She sure put the forking there

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:44 pm

She looks more like a ladle.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:49 pm

She's a ladle! Whoa whoa whoa, she's a ladle! Talking about my little ladle, and the ladle is miiiiiine….

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I'm not lookist!

KeepFnThatChicken October 2, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I find this post severely easy to masturbate to.

Still want the pictures, tho.

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

KeepFnThatCousin

UnholyMoses October 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"I find this post severely easy to masturbate to."

So do I … which is freaking out my coworkers …

BloviateMe October 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Tell them that if they help out, it'll be over that much quicker.

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Wait, wasn't Marlene Ross the mother on Happy Days?

DrunkIrishman October 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I thought that was George's fiancee's mother?

UnholyMoses October 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm
actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I'm sending you my dry cleaning bill.

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Send it to Potsie Weber, c/o Al's Diner, Near Jefferson High School, Milwaukee, WI

DrunkIrishman October 2, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Move to Utah … it's totally legal to marry your first cousin here.

You just have to be over 65 or not be able to reproduce (at least they're thinking of the three-headed children!)…

HuddledMass October 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

US map of cuzzin-marryin' – In Massachusetts you could marry your same-sex cousin?
http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

It's totes legal in California. And no over 65 age restrictions. Things are weird out west, we just don't like to talk about it.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 3:42 pm

And, more pertinently to the story, also in Florida.

DrunkIrishman October 2, 2012 at 4:07 pm

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Baconzgood October 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

E.A. POE LIBEL!!!!!

SexySmurf October 2, 2012 at 3:05 pm

she had sent her first cousin Rogelio Vera – via private messaging on Facebook — “compromising” photos of herself that she’d previously created.

Farmville has gotten really realistic.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 2, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Farmville: Mississippi edition.

Generation[redacted] October 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

If this doesn't save Zynga's stock price, nothing will.

Terry October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Marlene has a serious screw loose. She's going out of her way to make sure that everyone in the country knows that she sent nekkid pictures to her first cousin.

I checked out the Boynton Beach city web site. Miz Thang has a photo of herself up there with more cleavage than the average female city commissioner is usually confortable to show. She's a hot mess overall.

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Thank you for prudishly making us google this ourselves!

Terry October 2, 2012 at 4:31 pm

As a general rule, I try to leave it to guys to say "Hey, look! Tits!"

RALitherland October 2, 2012 at 8:57 pm

And thank you for leaving it that way. So, OK, I did that, but frankly I wouldn't recommend following the link. Either Terry found another pic tucked away in an obscure corner of the site, or the average female city commissioner dresses like an exceptionally modest Amish woman.

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I cut to the chase with Google images and that young lady has some shoulders!

Did she used to play for the Dolphins? And they let her keep the pads?

schvitzatura October 4, 2012 at 9:05 am

Marlene enjoys life in Boynton Beach, spending (happy jumbly-bumping play) time with (male extended) family and (special uncle's son)(") friends(") and caring for her cats and dogs.

Remember to spay and neuter your cats and dogs…

owhatever October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

"Lillian, you've got to let this go. It's not big enough for both of us to play with it at the same time."

Mittaplasia October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

The family that plays together stays together.

Tundra Grifter October 2, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Nepotism – the other game the whole family can play.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Oh, Florida! What would Wonkette do without you?

Apart from focus a little more on Texas, South Carolina, Mississippi, Alabama, Kansas, Oklahoma, Idaho, Utah, and parts of Michigan, Minnesota and Iowa, that is.

UnholyMoses October 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

"all of the Confederacy, plus Missouri, Arizona, Idaho, Utah, and parts of Michigan, Minnesota and Iowa … "

Fixed that to be a tad more inclusive of all the crazy that's out there.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Crap. You know things are beyond nuts when a Wonker can forget Arizona in a list of t3h Krayzeee. And yes, Mr. Akin's antics certainly warrant the inclusion of the Blow Me state.

SigDeFlyinMonky October 2, 2012 at 5:07 pm

And Indiana.

Goonemeritus October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I don’t normally come to Wonkette to feel morally superior but when I do you guys really deliver.

Mojopo October 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

It's always the right texture and taste.

EatsBabyDingos October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

She thought she was getting a purse when her cousin said "I got you a Vera wang."

Mittens Howell, III October 2, 2012 at 3:08 pm

If she was my cousin, I'd be redefining the word 'cousin'. Just sayin'.

Pap Finn October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Where do Katherine Harris and her horse fit in?

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Tightly, I imagine

Guppy October 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I'm sure you can find a diagram online.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 1:20 am

Very carefully, I pray.

deanbooth October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

compromising photos

Compromising? Must be a Democrat!

docterry6973 October 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Nudie pix? Are we discussing the presidential prospects of our beloved editrix?

IncenseDebate October 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Your move New Port Richey.

UnholyMoses October 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Ahhhh … Florida. Where it's not the heat, it's the stupidity that gets ya …

Esteev October 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Some sordid sort of relationship, amirte? Eh?

Baconzgood October 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I haz teh confuzes. whoze schtuping whoze and wherez teh black male in thiz?

actor212 October 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

There's a lot more to this story than meets the eye….with bonus cleavage photos!

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Traditionally, the black male is found in the woodpile.

Lascauxcaveman October 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

If the good lord din't want us boynkin' our cousins, he wouldn't a made 'em so purty!

SavageDrummer October 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Shelbyville libel!

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm

She might feel the noodley tentacles of extortion if she wakes up with the head of her blackberry in her bed. That will be a clear sign that she has gotten an offer she can't refuse.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Hey, if you can't fuck your married first cousin, can any of us truly say we are free?

Toomush_Infer October 2, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Of course it wasn't criminal extortion in Florida – there were no motorboat manatee injuries, and cuz is cuz or at least it was…

Wadisay October 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Rogelio Vera couldn’t be reached.

Try his sister's place.

shelwood46 October 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I cannot believe "let this go" did not appease the cuckolded cousin-in-law. It's right there in Miss Manners, if you have grievously wronged someone, all you have to do is say their name and "let this go: and, boom, you're absolved.

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:18 pm

And WHAT have we learned from this little tale, boys and girls?

Blueb4sinrise October 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Gimme a coupla minutes…………trying to find long lost cousins on FB.

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Incest is best kept within the family?

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Candy is dandy, but incest is best?

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

That we should only sext and send nekkid pics if we really like someone a lot?

Guppy October 2, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Same as always: don't get caught.

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 11:29 pm

This is what happens when you fuck a cousin in …

Oh, nevermind.

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 1:23 am

ROTFLMAO!

This.

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Okay, I honestly wanted to see some of the sexts. I want to know specifically what it is about being a cousin-fucker that makes this lady so paranoid. Gross, I already know, but come ON it's gotta be good to get all extortion-y.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Its only extortionable while its still a secret, thats the whole point of coming out of the closet, noone can threaten to out you anymore. Once its officially acknowledged that you have a "friend," there's just nothing left to extort with.

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Whatever, I just love how cringey all these sext things can be, especially out of context. I don't really need a lawyered up reason, I'm just trying to sound less like a voyeuristic perv. I want the skritchy "oh baby, I like when your so harf, I want ur dick"…cause typos make em even better.

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"oh baby, rember when we was kidz and we ate ice cream cones together? I'mm gonna lick yur dick like an ice cream coan. yeah baby."

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I cannot stop laughing.

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

OK now you're getting really dirty; and hilarious.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Gawd is that what people say in these "sexts?"

FakaktaSouth October 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I have no fucking idea. Shut up.

Jukesgrrl October 2, 2012 at 7:34 pm

If you're the Prince of Wales you say sleazier things than that.

Yellerdawg October 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Cousin Cousine!

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 2, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Show me in the constitution where it says I can't fuck my cousin.

Yellerdawg October 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Cousin Cousine!

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:24 pm

You keep repeating yourself. ;-)

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

He sees everything twice!

Barrelhse October 2, 2012 at 9:59 pm

"Wait- there's two of everybody but me!"

MosesInvests October 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I repeat myself when under stress, I repeat myself when under stress….

Barrelhse October 2, 2012 at 10:09 pm

My p-p-p-parrot s-s-s-stutters.

Yellerdawg October 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

It was so nice, I had to say it twice!

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Editrix may have left out the most important quote:

Ross, who’s out by term limits in 2014, said, “I’m somebody who can have a political future beyond this. And I’ve already been tainted.”

BloviateMe October 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Please, further discuss the "tainting" process.

Be very specific.

LIT_Fag October 2, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Like "vetting", but from behind.

Jukesgrrl October 2, 2012 at 7:35 pm

"On the positive side, this candidate has been pre-tainted."

Barrelhse October 2, 2012 at 10:11 pm

she could always work with Orly.

Baconzgood October 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to…THE SOUTH!

Generation[redacted] October 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm

This is Obama's fault. Just another case of government overreach.

LibertyLover October 2, 2012 at 3:23 pm

ROGELIO VERA, 48. The former high school friend of Rodriguez served time in federal prison on drug charges. State records show some 20 arrests dating to 1983, on charges ranging from larceny to drug possession.

Yeah, that's someone I'd wanna spend some quality time with.

Radiotherapy October 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Ross Moss or GTFO!

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Are we sure this isn't just the new season of Arrested Development?

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Their first date was to see Les Cousins Dangereux.

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Great minds, etc.

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I just saw that, dammit! If only I hadn't spent the time searching for the image.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Yeah, yeah, that would be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.

littlebigdaddy October 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I am pretty sure that "Rogelio Vera" is a Sacha Baron Cohen character.

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Boynton Beach City Hall
Diversity – Integrity – Stewardship – Creativity

Well, Miss Marlene got the 'creativity' down by not only fucking her cousin, but then bitching at said-cousin's wife for being all pissy about it. However, she should really start working on the 'diversity' thing by maybe fucking people who don't share her DNA.

rickmaci October 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Hey, give her a break. At least it wasn't her brother, unlike most of the relationships in trailer trash world.

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Hey, whats that you got on?

Barrelhse October 2, 2012 at 10:14 pm

She doesn't HAVE a brother, is my guess.

Sharkey October 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

So she likes "bad boys", so what? Since when is that a disqualification for politics?

mavenmaven October 2, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Marlene Ross, meet Anthony Weiner. Anthony Weiner, meet Marlene Ross.

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Um, in the Palm Beach Post article the part that she was sexting her cousin is about halfway down. I suppose cousin-fucking is so normal there that mentioning it is just in passing.

SorosBot October 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm

It's Florida, fucking someone who's not related to you probably marks you as a freak.

natl_indecency_cmdr October 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Talk about "burying the lead"…

Eve8Apples October 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Florida — a state so stupid they can't even get incest right.

Exhausted66 October 2, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Loading Boyton Beach Memoirs into my kindle right now!

TribecaMike October 2, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Sure, I'd do her cousin.

One_who_wanders October 2, 2012 at 4:02 pm

In Florida reality is indistinguishable from a Carl Hiaasen novel.

BaldarTFlagass October 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Top that, Carl Hiaasen.

ChrisM2011 October 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Arkansas is yawning at your scandal, Florida. YAWNING! (Because sleeping with our cousins makes us sleepy)

Guppy October 2, 2012 at 4:09 pm

She wants to spend more time with her family.

bobbert October 2, 2012 at 11:28 pm

This a subtle win that has not received enough of a p-shower.

thefrontpage October 2, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I've slept with various women on the Boynton Beach City Council, and, eh, they're not that great. I've also slept with several female cousins of the women on the Boynton Beach City Council, and, eh, they're not that great, either. I'd recommend the women on the Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale and Saratoga Springs City Councils–they're a lot more fun!

ElPinche October 2, 2012 at 4:13 pm

That's weird cuz I'm nekkid right now….except fer a toddler sock (cat's in the house).

Chet Kincaid_ October 2, 2012 at 4:24 pm

"Rogelio", "Bentivolio". You will drive away the WASPS, Wonkette, with all of these characters whose names end in vowels!!

Barrelhse October 2, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Sounds kinda like one of them Shakespeare plays, don't it?

randcoolcatdaddy October 2, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Wait … How did the Honey Boo Boo get into my Wonkette feed?

ManchuCandidate October 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm

And this is why you don't fuck your first cousin.

/J. Walter Weatherman'ed/

natl_indecency_cmdr October 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Florida! Come for the sunshine, stay for the incest and blackmail and sexting and corrupt politics!

I_P October 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

The Aristocrats!!1!

Negropolis October 3, 2012 at 12:44 am

Is Boinkin' Beach the best city government in Florida, or the best city government in Florida evah?

oldgrowthswamp October 3, 2012 at 2:24 pm

800 pound 13 foot lizards are running around. Somethin's gotta give.

ttommyunger October 3, 2012 at 10:50 pm

In Missouri we believe incest is OK so long as it is kept within the family. In Fact, as a Missourian, I see nothing noteworthy or remarkable about this story.

schvitzatura October 4, 2012 at 9:16 am

Hazme una medianoche, vaca estúpida!

Yum!

prommie October 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Well it sure isn't very fucking romantic. Just saying.

sullivanst October 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Hmm. That's not much of a turn on.

UnholyMoses October 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Sit on it, Potsie.

Oh, wait. That's what got this gal in trouble with her cousin …

MissTaken October 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I think the goal is less romance, more fucking.

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