‘Sup Boynton Beach city commissioner Marlene Ross? Oh, you are totally sure an “evil,” “sinister” fellow commissioner has been threatening to extort you over the sexts you sent to your first cousin/lover? And much of the story is given to you breathlessly narrating in bodice-ripping Shades of Gray dialogue how you tried to hold off your first cousin/lover, etc., and it is all verbatim and weird? But all the cops who looked into it were like, “dude, lady, this does not fit ‘extortion’ but maybe you could talk to Lifetime?” Fun story! Fun city commission! Let us cover our computer screens from prying eyes, and blockquote, together!
In late 2010 or early 2011, Ross told prosecutors, she had sent her first cousin Rogelio Vera – via private messaging on Facebook — “compromising” photos of herself that she’d previously created.
“You had some sort of relationship?” State Attorney’s Office Detective Robert Flechaus asked Ross in a Sept. 12 interview.
“Yes,” Ross said in audio supplied to The Post.
It was in late 2010, Ross said.
“He started with the flirting,” she said. “I said, ‘Oh, c’mon. This is not right.’ He’s a first cousin. ‘This is not right. You’ve got to stop.’”
Unable to resist the hunky felon first-cousin, Ross embarked on a sexy and sexty relationship, but then the felon first cousin’s wife found the pictures! And for reasons that we can just never understand, she wasn’t all like “bygones”!
“She (Lillian Vera) calls me. And she’s, ‘Oh, I can’t believe you. I never thought you’d do this.’ I said, ‘Lillian. Let this go.’”
Later, she said, Lillian Vera sent her text messages, “mean, vicious stuff,’ and told her she was going to distribute the photos.
Lillian Vera would tell prosecutors this summer that her estranged husband had shown her the images once and she didn’t have copies. Neither Lillian Vera nor her divorce attorneys would comment for this story; Rogelio Vera couldn’t be reached.
MEAN VICIOUS STUFF. What kind of wife sends MEAN VICIOUS STUFF to the cousin-in-law who is fucking her husband? Get with the program, LILLIAN.
Anyway, from then on Marlene Ross lives in fear that an “evil” “corrupt” lobbyist is trying to extort her into voting his way, in code:
In comments that were cryptic to most in the chambers but which Ross believed were aimed at her, [David] Katz suggested “consequences” for voting against his close friend, former Mayor Jerry Taylor, to fill out the term of a commissioner who had resigned in July. Ross continued that night to oppose Taylor and the commission remained deadlocked, 2-2.
After interviewing Ross at least three times, prosecutors concluded that “none of the scenarios described by Ms. Ross involved behavior that could be considered criminal extortion,” Daniel Funk, assistant Palm Beach County state attorney, wrote in a memo dated Thursday.
Awfully nice city commission you have there, Marlene Ross. Shame if anything happened to it.
But is this Katz fellow corrupt and evil? Corrupt yes! Evil we can’t speak to! But apparently everyone who’s so much as looked at Boynton Beach on a map is stone cold gettin’ investigated for corruption and pressuring everyone else and evading taxes and being a shitbag (including, oddly, Marlene Ross!). Boynton Beach is You.




{ 214 comments }
Saucy salacious sexy sassy sexts
Cute cousin kissy-call communications.
Familial, fast and furious fucking.
And I thought Thanksgiving was awkward at the Sandusky house. Jesus!
Uhm…pics or GTFO?
I'd hit it.
In West Virginia this would insure reelection.
It's not a bug, it's a feature…with incurable bugs.
But how does this effect Allan West?
He is looking into the pics as we speak.
I'm confused. I've been to Boynton Beach and had the impression that only old Jews lived there. I doubt they are screwing their first cousins as the first cousins are already dead.
Yea, well, it's not like the living ones would ever notice…
Obviously, the single scene ain't bumping.
Hee!!! My MIL lives in Boynton. This would mark the second time I've even heard of people younger than 112 doing anything there (the other one was some chippie offing her embezzler husband). I guess the dating pool for the not totally old set is kinda limited, huh?
Sounds to me more like Boinkin' Beach.
Darn you.
My p-rating has been moving more slowly than (r)Money's poll numbers. I've been stuck at 118 since Moby Dick was a guppy. Perhaps the long tail of 5,000+ posts is taking it's toll?
Not that I care about having a big p- of course. Size doesn't matter.
Does it?
If it's any consolation, I envy your P-ness.
The first-cousin USFB returns to teh Wonkette!
You can take the kin from Appalachia, but you can't take Appalachia from the kin.
Marlene was born in Cuba, making her a hot Latin lady not a hill billy. We must get our stereotypes right!
From the Cuban hillz?
¡Ay Prima Claiente!
Cuba has hills. What's the dimunitive for the Spanish William?
In my mind, I just ripped my bodice
whatever that is.
Also, fap.
Criminal extortion, no. Criminal exertion, maybe.
Actually, the PBP missed the story completely, which the Daily Mail got (of all places!)
bodice-ripping Shades of Gray dialogue
Except, I recall with that work's introduction into annals of contemporary literature, as a boon to these modern times, said trash fiction exemplified the edgy act of "sweatpants-ripping"~
Yeah, the only thing SOG about this is the part where the lobbyist says there will be "consequences". Which way did she vote? Did the lobbyist spank her?
"Sweetpants" or "Sweatpanties" would work too.
I have the weirdest boner.
Have you told your first cousin?
Facebook Profile Pictures!!
tag, tag, tag.
That's what he said.
Is it shaped like a banana, can you feed it to your monkey?…
Everything after "Shades of Gray" I heard in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried.
*weeps*
AFLAC!
He should do the audio book. The whole trilogy.
Just in case you missed the first installment…
YES! That's the way it should be heard!
Love the women's reactions, too.
I can't believe this lady sent off the nekkid pictures after just a little flirting!
What did you say her email address is again?
Apparently they may have said info at The City of Boynton Beach website.
Made you look!
Was worth it.
Yum
Totally tap that
Totally FAP TO that.
FIXED
Tits or GTFO. I don't fap to clothing.
Altho she has some nice suits.
Under those suits she's buck nekid. C'mon use the imagination. Obviously if she's boinking her cousin she is freaky. Like maybe a little too freaky for Baconz…maybe.
Lemme show you how its done, my man.
Yawn. This is an awfully slow start to Cocktober. Text me when it involves rent-boys, diapers, or goats.
Paul Ryan had some free time?
Come on, man, it's only two days in and we've had three sex scandals!
Sorry, I totally forgot about the hairy musician with the derringer in his panties.
Maybe in a few more weeks… "Kicktober"?
As in: "Hon, today I felt your li'l son/ daughter/ second-cousin-once-removed kick finally"
What's the big deal? Rogelio was just taking a "crack" at the commissioners' office.
I don't watch the daytime soaps, is this a synopsis of As the World Turns from last week or something?
Haven't they all died off? You have to learn Spanish if you want your daily serial dramas now.
ATWT has been OTA (Off the Air) for just over two yrs. now.
YOWZA!!! Now I have a 'Palm Beach Post'
You think that's weird? During sex, she would whisper in his ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
WIN
Cousin pork is a southern delicacy.
Wait. Mrs Cunningham, Richie's mom, sexted photos of herself????
AWRIGH–
Oh. MarLEne Ross…nevermind.
You know, Mrs "C" wasn't a reference to her last name…
Wait, how was that extortion? This was Florida, in that part of the country where cousin-loving, and even brother-sister loving, is considered perfectly OK; pig-fucking too.
So — she just wanted to tell everybody that she was fucking her cousin but couldn't come up with a classy way of doing that so made up an extortion plot against her? Either that or she's just your run-of-the-mill paranoid cousin-fucker with persecution fantasies.
Palin … is that you?
I was promised nudie pics and now all I have is a confused.
Just imagine your blind and someone is describing them to you.
What was that? I closed my eyes and now I can't hear you.
Just ignore the weird sensation of buttons being undone….
You have a confused in your pants.
According to the article, she's not even the only crazy politico in this town:
Mayor Jose Rodriguez was arrested this year on charges of pressuring the police chief and interim city manager to stop a child abuse investigation. He also is accused in a lawsuit against the Community Redevelopment Agency of helping get rid of its chief in part because she rejected his sexual advances…
And tow firm operator David Floering, who stopped bidding for city contracts in 2010, claiming corruption, has accused Rodriguez of cheating on property taxes and called the mayor a crook and a liar so many times that Rodriguez sued him for defamation; he later dropped the case.
OK, which one of these two is going to get the GOP nomination for Congress? Or does Florida have an open primary, in which case the answer would be both of them, Katie?
This story barely nudges the needle on the South Florida Weird-o-Meter.
I didn't know Florida had dedicated an entire beach to that lady that put out those kinda treacly greeting cards.
Ya big softy, how do you even know about these?!
My coffee mug: it says "Everyone is entitled to my opinion"
Also, my daughter loved "Moo, Baa, La La La"
You haven't lived until you hear Davey Jones (yes, that Davey Jones) sing Your Personal Penguin
Is that what killed him?
So Marlene's the fork in the family tree?
She sure put the forking there
She looks more like a ladle.
She's a ladle! Whoa whoa whoa, she's a ladle! Talking about my little ladle, and the ladle is miiiiiine….
I'm not lookist!
I find this post severely easy to masturbate to.
Still want the pictures, tho.
KeepFnThatCousin
"I find this post severely easy to masturbate to."
So do I … which is freaking out my coworkers …
Tell them that if they help out, it'll be over that much quicker.
Wait, wasn't Marlene Ross the mother on Happy Days?
I thought that was George's fiancee's mother?
AAaaaay.
Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(DEFinitely NSFW)
I'm sending you my dry cleaning bill.
Send it to Potsie Weber, c/o Al's Diner, Near Jefferson High School, Milwaukee, WI
Move to Utah … it's totally legal to marry your first cousin here.
You just have to be over 65 or not be able to reproduce (at least they're thinking of the three-headed children!)…
US map of cuzzin-marryin' – In Massachusetts you could marry your same-sex cousin?
http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states
It's totes legal in California. And no over 65 age restrictions. Things are weird out west, we just don't like to talk about it.
And, more pertinently to the story, also in Florida.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
E.A. POE LIBEL!!!!!
she had sent her first cousin Rogelio Vera – via private messaging on Facebook — “compromising” photos of herself that she’d previously created.
Farmville has gotten really realistic.
Farmville: Mississippi edition.
If this doesn't save Zynga's stock price, nothing will.
Marlene has a serious screw loose. She's going out of her way to make sure that everyone in the country knows that she sent nekkid pictures to her first cousin.
I checked out the Boynton Beach city web site. Miz Thang has a photo of herself up there with more cleavage than the average female city commissioner is usually confortable to show. She's a hot mess overall.
Thank you for prudishly making us google this ourselves!
As a general rule, I try to leave it to guys to say "Hey, look! Tits!"
And thank you for leaving it that way. So, OK, I did that, but frankly I wouldn't recommend following the link. Either Terry found another pic tucked away in an obscure corner of the site, or the average female city commissioner dresses like an exceptionally modest Amish woman.
I cut to the chase with Google images and that young lady has some shoulders!
Did she used to play for the Dolphins? And they let her keep the pads?
Marlene enjoys life in Boynton Beach, spending (happy jumbly-bumping play) time with (male extended) family and (special uncle's son)(") friends(") and caring for her cats and dogs.
Remember to spay and neuter your cats and dogs…
"Lillian, you've got to let this go. It's not big enough for both of us to play with it at the same time."
The family that plays together stays together.
Nepotism – the other game the whole family can play.
Oh, Florida! What would Wonkette do without you?
Apart from focus a little more on Texas, South Carolina, Mississippi, Alabama, Kansas, Oklahoma, Idaho, Utah, and parts of Michigan, Minnesota and Iowa, that is.
" … all of the Confederacy, plus Missouri, Arizona, Idaho, Utah, and parts of Michigan, Minnesota and Iowa … "
Fixed that to be a tad more inclusive of all the crazy that's out there.
Crap. You know things are beyond nuts when a Wonker can forget Arizona in a list of t3h Krayzeee. And yes, Mr. Akin's antics certainly warrant the inclusion of the Blow Me state.
And Indiana.
I don’t normally come to Wonkette to feel morally superior but when I do you guys really deliver.
It's always the right texture and taste.
She thought she was getting a purse when her cousin said "I got you a Vera wang."
If she was my cousin, I'd be redefining the word 'cousin'. Just sayin'.
Where do Katherine Harris and her horse fit in?
Tightly, I imagine
I'm sure you can find a diagram online.
Very carefully, I pray.
compromising photos
Compromising? Must be a Democrat!
Nudie pix? Are we discussing the presidential prospects of our beloved editrix?
Your move New Port Richey.
Ahhhh … Florida. Where it's not the heat, it's the stupidity that gets ya …
Some sordid sort of relationship, amirte? Eh?
I haz teh confuzes. whoze schtuping whoze and wherez teh black male in thiz?
There's a lot more to this story than meets the eye….with bonus cleavage photos!
Traditionally, the black male is found in the woodpile.
If the good lord din't want us boynkin' our cousins, he wouldn't a made 'em so purty!
Shelbyville libel!
She might feel the noodley tentacles of extortion if she wakes up with the head of her blackberry in her bed. That will be a clear sign that she has gotten an offer she can't refuse.
Hey, if you can't fuck your married first cousin, can any of us truly say we are free?
Of course it wasn't criminal extortion in Florida – there were no motorboat manatee injuries, and cuz is cuz or at least it was…
Rogelio Vera couldn’t be reached.
Try his sister's place.
I cannot believe "let this go" did not appease the cuckolded cousin-in-law. It's right there in Miss Manners, if you have grievously wronged someone, all you have to do is say their name and "let this go: and, boom, you're absolved.
And WHAT have we learned from this little tale, boys and girls?
Gimme a coupla minutes…………trying to find long lost cousins on FB.
Incest is best kept within the family?
Candy is dandy, but incest is best?
That we should only sext and send nekkid pics if we really like someone a lot?
Same as always: don't get caught.
This is what happens when you fuck a cousin in …
Oh, nevermind.
ROTFLMAO!
This.
Okay, I honestly wanted to see some of the sexts. I want to know specifically what it is about being a cousin-fucker that makes this lady so paranoid. Gross, I already know, but come ON it's gotta be good to get all extortion-y.
Its only extortionable while its still a secret, thats the whole point of coming out of the closet, noone can threaten to out you anymore. Once its officially acknowledged that you have a "friend," there's just nothing left to extort with.
Whatever, I just love how cringey all these sext things can be, especially out of context. I don't really need a lawyered up reason, I'm just trying to sound less like a voyeuristic perv. I want the skritchy "oh baby, I like when your so harf, I want ur dick"…cause typos make em even better.
"oh baby, rember when we was kidz and we ate ice cream cones together? I'mm gonna lick yur dick like an ice cream coan. yeah baby."
I cannot stop laughing.
OK now you're getting really dirty; and hilarious.
Gawd is that what people say in these "sexts?"
I have no fucking idea. Shut up.
If you're the Prince of Wales you say sleazier things than that.
Cousin Cousine!
Show me in the constitution where it says I can't fuck my cousin.
Cousin Cousine!
You keep repeating yourself. ;-)
He sees everything twice!
"Wait- there's two of everybody but me!"
I repeat myself when under stress, I repeat myself when under stress….
My p-p-p-parrot s-s-s-stutters.
It was so nice, I had to say it twice!
Editrix may have left out the most important quote:
Ross, who’s out by term limits in 2014, said, “I’m somebody who can have a political future beyond this. And I’ve already been tainted.”
Please, further discuss the "tainting" process.
Be very specific.
Like "vetting", but from behind.
"On the positive side, this candidate has been pre-tainted."
she could always work with Orly.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to…THE SOUTH!
This is Obama's fault. Just another case of government overreach.
ROGELIO VERA, 48. The former high school friend of Rodriguez served time in federal prison on drug charges. State records show some 20 arrests dating to 1983, on charges ranging from larceny to drug possession.
Yeah, that's someone I'd wanna spend some quality time with.
Ross Moss or GTFO!
Are we sure this isn't just the new season of Arrested Development?
Their first date was to see Les Cousins Dangereux.
Great minds, etc.
I just saw that, dammit! If only I hadn't spent the time searching for the image.
Yeah, yeah, that would be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.
I am pretty sure that "Rogelio Vera" is a Sacha Baron Cohen character.
Boynton Beach City Hall
Diversity – Integrity – Stewardship – Creativity
Well, Miss Marlene got the 'creativity' down by not only fucking her cousin, but then bitching at said-cousin's wife for being all pissy about it. However, she should really start working on the 'diversity' thing by maybe fucking people who don't share her DNA.
Hey, give her a break. At least it wasn't her brother, unlike most of the relationships in trailer trash world.
Hey, whats that you got on?
She doesn't HAVE a brother, is my guess.
So she likes "bad boys", so what? Since when is that a disqualification for politics?
Marlene Ross, meet Anthony Weiner. Anthony Weiner, meet Marlene Ross.
Um, in the Palm Beach Post article the part that she was sexting her cousin is about halfway down. I suppose cousin-fucking is so normal there that mentioning it is just in passing.
It's Florida, fucking someone who's not related to you probably marks you as a freak.
Talk about "burying the lead"…
Florida — a state so stupid they can't even get incest right.
Loading Boyton Beach Memoirs into my kindle right now!
Sure, I'd do her cousin.
In Florida reality is indistinguishable from a Carl Hiaasen novel.
Top that, Carl Hiaasen.
Arkansas is yawning at your scandal, Florida. YAWNING! (Because sleeping with our cousins makes us sleepy)
She wants to spend more time with her family.
This a subtle win that has not received enough of a p-shower.
I've slept with various women on the Boynton Beach City Council, and, eh, they're not that great. I've also slept with several female cousins of the women on the Boynton Beach City Council, and, eh, they're not that great, either. I'd recommend the women on the Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale and Saratoga Springs City Councils–they're a lot more fun!
That's weird cuz I'm nekkid right now….except fer a toddler sock (cat's in the house).
"Rogelio", "Bentivolio". You will drive away the WASPS, Wonkette, with all of these characters whose names end in vowels!!
Sounds kinda like one of them Shakespeare plays, don't it?
Wait … How did the Honey Boo Boo get into my Wonkette feed?
And this is why you don't fuck your first cousin.
/J. Walter Weatherman'ed/
Florida! Come for the sunshine, stay for the incest and blackmail and sexting and corrupt politics!
The Aristocrats!!1!
Is Boinkin' Beach the best city government in Florida, or the best city government in Florida evah?
800 pound 13 foot lizards are running around. Somethin's gotta give.
In Missouri we believe incest is OK so long as it is kept within the family. In Fact, as a Missourian, I see nothing noteworthy or remarkable about this story.
Hazme una medianoche, vaca estúpida!
Yum!
Well it sure isn't very fucking romantic. Just saying.
Hmm. That's not much of a turn on.
Sit on it, Potsie.
Oh, wait. That's what got this gal in trouble with her cousin …
I think the goal is less romance, more fucking.
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