the professor and mary ann

Massachusetts Senate Live Blog: The Thrilla In Vanilla

You guys there is yet another debate tonight in Massachusetts and we are beside ourselves with excitement waiting for the answer to the eternal question, JUST HOW RACIST WILL SCOTT BROWN BE? We bet he goes full Andrew Jackson. Because for the last hour, his supporters have been doing war whoops and tomahawk chops outside the debate hall, the same kind that Scott Brown sternly reminded Elizabeth Warren to please stop doing, and to show a little class and respect! Anyhoo, turn on your “SPAN” or your this, fetch you some firewater, and let’s start this bitch!

6:53 PM — We are drinking pink Champagne, because it was literally the only booze in the house. Quick everybody, make up a drinking game!

7:01 PM — The rules are there are no rules. Scott Brown is gonna get naked yall.

7:02 PM — David Gregory: Elizabeth Warren, why do you insist on being a damn dirty redskin?

7:04 PM — Scott Brown is backing off, way off. “Nobody’s questioning what her parents told her,” Scott Brown? Guess bald racism wasn’t playing well even in Boston.

7:07 PM — Scott Brown is trying to get back his “likable” cred but after the last debate, that is a horse that is out of the barn door (his unzipped pants). Meanwhile, Warren has just the right amount of “THIS IS TARDED” without actually saying it in all caps.

7:10 PM — Your Editrix may be the only person on the whole of the Internet who doesn’t hear Scott Brown saying “professor” as a slur.

7:16 PM — Scott Brown calls Elizabeth Warren’s contention “laughable” (that she worked on behalf of victims while being paid by an insurance company). She interrupts; he comes back with “let’s assume she’s correct and move on to this steel company.”

7:18 PM — Elizabeth Warren is absolutely on defense right now, and David Gregory breaks in to her defense of her law work with a “bipartisanship” question. Scott Brown, do you love Mitt Romney?

7:20 PM — Scott Brown: No, David Gregory, I am awesomely bipartisan, thank you for asking!

7:24 PM — Elizabeth Warren: I have occasionally also met a Republican I did not want to murder!

7:25 PM — This debate is a mess. Scott Brown is walking all over David Gregory. He’s all like “Listen pansy, I will talk about what I want to talk about because I am full of sperm.” The crowd hoots. And now the crowd is hooting for Warren pointing out that he doesn’t campaign around the country as someone who loves B. Barry Bamz. We read that people were not to be allowed to applaud. The crowd is now stomping on that rule about as much as Scott Brown is stomping on David Gregory. OH, and Scott Brown wants to interrupt Elizabeth Warren once again, surprise.

7:29 PM — And he gets an assist from David Gregory, who cuts Warren off because she (SHOCK) spoke for OVER A MINUTE, IN PARAGRAPH FORM. Did we say Thrilla in Vanilla? This is a fucking free for all.

7:30 PM — OK, remember like 10 minutes ago when we said we didn’t believe Brown was necessarily using “professor” as a pejorative? Well fuck that shit. “Excuse me, I’m not a student in your classroom.”

7:36 PM — What is David Gregory’s boner for Simpson-Bowles? Who the fuck cares? (VILLAGERS.) David Gregory will not actually let her answer his question. Awesome format! Great moderator!

7:37 PM — Weird, Scott Brown is now talking in paragraph form, and David Gregory is NOT INTERRUPTING HIM. Guess David Gregory knows a MAN FULL OF SPERM when he sees one!

7:43 PM — HEY NOW, Elizabeth Warren has been speaking for at least three sentences now. Shouldn’t David Gregory have cut her off?

7:47 PM — David Gregory: Ms. Warren, you’ve had a chance to respond SHUT YOUR MOUTH, “LADY.” (But in many more words.) This is sick. Your Wonkette has no words for how awful that just was.

7:51 PM — Your Editrix can not actually stand much more of this. We imagine David Gregory is not intentionally being a fuckwad sexist asshole to the woman in the debate, and probably does not realize he is doing it. He probably has no idea he has spent the past hour bowing before the alpha male and ganging up with him on the soft-spoken woman sharing their stage. But he has, Blanche. He has. And it is not funny, nor adorable. Warren has held her own without losing her shit, but she has been absolutely on defense thanks to the two of them.

We are now on the Supreme Court and Scotty names every justice as his model justice, because he isn’t just pretty, he is awesome at pandering.

7:55 PM — And David Gregory is like WHY DOESN’T MASS ELECT WOMEN? Is it because they are so stupid and on the rag? Fuck you David Gregory. We can’t say Elizabeth Warren won this fucker (by a longshot), but you lost it.


Fuckin travesty y’all. Travesty.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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    1. kingofmeh

      sawx have their b-team on the field; brown is running f-troop. alphabetically, brown comes out worse.

          1. glasspusher

            If you guys can stick it to the Yanks, I'll be rooting for you as well. I doubt the Yanks will be facing the Nationals.Yeah, when's the last time B-W had teams in the playoffs at the same time? How about never? There was the Phillies-Orioles Series in 1983, but Philly is hardly Washington.Parity is good for baseball. Let the best team win!

          2. actor212

            That incarnation of the Nats never made it to the playoffs until they did it in 1996 as the Rangers. And they played in the same division as Baltimore and there was no wild card.

          3. glasspusher

            A lovely thought, but it was the Orioles against the Twins in '69. Had to look that one up. I would have remembered if the Senators made it in then, because their manager that year, while doing OK, was better known for other things he did on a baseball diamond…arguably the greatest hitter who ever lived.

          4. Terry

            The Senators and Orioles both had good years in 1969. I think 1969 was the only year the Senators had a good year. That's what I was thinking of. Sorry to confuse things.

  1. IceCreamEmpress

    A hero who sneezed abruptly seized
    Retreat and reversed it to vic-to-ry!

    Motherfucking "F Troop" is one of my favorite crazy racist comedies of my childhood.

    1. FlownOver

      Ever see the "Bugs Bunny in the Pacific Theater" cartoons from WWII?

      No? Not surprising. They've been out of the rotation since the 50's.

      1. schvitzatura

        Someone failed to tell a couple of UHF stations in a couple of places I lived in, mostly Texas, to try to cease airing Bugs getting the severely bucked toothed, coke-bottle glasses-wearing, Asian Contagion-tinted version of Elmer Fudd, after not making that left turn at Albuquerque.

        Still, I'm waiting for them to show up on Netflix soon, as historical un-PC documentaries…

    2. mayor_quimby

      I can't believe my parents let me watch F Troop myself. That shit is out of rotation now, isn't it? I think the Native Americans must have hired some sort of lobbyist to keep it off the air….

      1. schvitzatura

        Intro bumper inspired Kevin Costner to make Dances With Wolves, with Costner cast in the Ken Berry role, except all serious and shit, right?

        I'm guessing this means Haley Barbour will start lobbying to keep Petticoat Junction from being perpetually syndicated, in order to "rehabilitate" the image of his "constituency" (keep fucking that chicken, down by the station, Haley)…

  2. fartknocker

    Editorix, send an intern to Costco stat! You need to be stocking the bars for all us bitches.

  3. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I think I'm going to watch F-Troop reruns instead. I believe it will be a little more cerebral tube watching.

  4. Gorillionaire

    "I want a blanket of my own! All of these blankets say they're for US". (Actual joke quipped by Native American character on F Troop)

    1. schvitzatura

      Probably the same joke was told at The Sha-wan-ga Lodge, back in 1961, during the annual highlight of the summer camp season, the Sha-wan-ga Tomahawk Follies…recycled Borscht Belt standards for the goyim, bubbe!

  5. Estproph

    New game:

    1) get a fifth of rye.
    2) every time Brown mentions his truck, take a shot. You should be blotto within minutes, and then the evening will be much more enjoyable.

  6. Callyson

    Aw, how quaint, David Gregory hopes for a serious discussion of the issues. I love optimists…

  7. Callyson

    OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE not this business about the Native American non issue yet a-fucking-gain…

  8. Callyson

    Yeah, Scottie, you might have started with jobs and the economy in the first debate, instead of going on and on about the NA flap, if you wanted anyone to think you gave a shit about those issues…

  9. natl_indecency_cmdr

    One sad thing about this whole "Indian controversy" is that Scott Brown is appealing to the racists in Mass.

    1. Serfville

      A little known fact is Mass is just one DNA chain away from Alabama. I can't believe Liz is leading in the poles. Place is a hellhole.

  10. Callyson

    Military records? Fuck that, Scottie, release your client records–you know, the same ones you want from Elizabeth…

  11. Callyson

    I love how Scottie keeps mentioning "jobs and the economy" and then moves on to discuss anything else…

    1. Beowoof

      As an attorney, my clients trust my discretion. As a pink hot pants wearing asshole, Brown clearly has none.

  12. Callyson

    Oh yeah! He doesn't want to talk about his votes, so he keeps making charges!

    Fight on, Elizabeth!

  13. Schmannnity

    Normally, i would live blog to Wild Turkey 101 and Beef Stix, but I am obliged to switch to bologna and mayo on white with Yoohoo.

  14. Veritas78

    This is a disaster. She's going on the defensive! STOP, Elizabeth! Turn the topic to Brown and his party.

  15. Mittens Howell, III

    Sen. Brown's staffers just stopped the war whoops and have taken up mock asbestos coughing.

  16. Callyson

    I was protecting the asbestos victims…the asbestos victims know that.

    Good comeback, Elizabeth!

    And no, Scottie will not be responding to Elizabeth's point that the workers came out and said he is a liar…


  17. SorosBot

    Whoa, the Boston channel's website just gave me an ad for That still exists? Has no one told them about Facebook yet?

    1. Beowoof

      Well I am pretty sure he has the right wing buffoon vote locked up. Who else is that truck driving shit going to work on.

  18. Callyson

    And notice how the pushy asshole cut in when Gregory said Warren would have the last word. Wish to fuck the moderator hadn't let him get away with it…

  19. Limeylizzie

    My imaginary boyfriend, the gravel-voiced Sherrod Brown is on with Tweety, so I must listen/fap to him, but you all go ahead with this live-blogging. Is David Gregory as vile as he is on MTP?

      1. Limeylizzie

        No, I don't think that's in the cards, he seems very happy where he is. I do adore him though and his wife is awesome as well.

          1. Boojum

            Ohhhhhh….nope, don't understand. Either yer in or ya ain't.

            A little bit pregnant is like a little bit Republican. You still need an abortion.

        1. DemmeFatale

          I don't remember thinking he was particularly short. (my Dad was 6'9", so I'm not good at this), but he did play basketball in high school, so…

  20. Callyson

    OH NO HE DIDN'T say he votes with the Dems 50% of the time! I don't have the link handy but I've seen very different figures, especially before Warren got into the race…

  21. Doktor Zoom

    Scott Brown's future as a national Republican figure is getting flushed at this very moment

    1. Limeylizzie

      I do hope you are correct, I wonder how the slimy EricCantor' s debate is going that's tonight as well isn't it.?

  22. Callyson

    Really? Scottie wants to push how he worked for the congressional insider trading bill? Didn't that pass the Senate 98-1 or something?

    Yeah, way to stick your neck out for gutsy bipartisanship, jerk…

    1. Mittens Howell, III

      Which, coincidentally, is the date that being a Republican became a diagnosable mental disorder.

    2. Boojum

      That must coincide with the asbestos years. She should totally use that. "See, I was a Republican then, so of course I was working for dicks, but even then I was trying to do the right thing. That's why the Republican kicked me out and I found my true home, away from the party of creeps like you."

  23. Callyson

    Of course Elizabeth can't name any Reeps she could work with–who the fuck *can* work with the Party of No?

  24. Jukesgrrl

    Why didn't she get to rebut his ridiculous statements about being bi-partisan? First he says he's the most bi-partisan then in the next sentence he says he's the second most bi-partisan. You can't be both.

  25. C_R_Eature

    Is David Gregory seriously going to hew to this "Both Sides Do It", Everyone Must Compromise" Villager Bullshit after the last three years of Republican Senate Filibuster abuse?
    To mention JUST ONE THING?

  26. finallyhappy

    So I made a joke about Portlandia on Twitter and Wonkette is giving me Powell's Books ads?? Creepy(not Powell's- the power of Rebecca's secret cameras)

    1. Doktor Zoom

      The Powell's link is now a semi-permanent part of the sidebar–actually a better percentage to Your Wonkette on book purchases than Amazon.

      Plus, for godssakes, it's freakin' POWELLS, which is all kinds of nice.

      (Your Doktor Zoom lobbied the Editrix for that)

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Glad to hear it – I was getting paranoid since I live in Portlandia and have an order pending at Powell (put in just before the ads started popping).

        BTW, said order is held up because books listed as "in stock" online are actually coming in from Tennessee, raising some interesting questions for me about what their logistics chart looks like. I actually bought the idea they were a local only institution, even though the sheer size and numerous branches suggested that was at least partially questionable.

        1. greenloner

          I believe Powell's started out in life as a Portland store and has expanded in the last ten years or so to more far-flung places, Chicago for instance.

          1. Chet Kincaid_

            Powell's Bookstores in Chicago have been around for 40 years. Chicago was first, Portland was second. But they are independent businesses:

            Powell's roots began in Chicago, where Michael Powell, as a University of Chicago graduate student, opened his first bookstore in 1970. Encouraged by friends and professors, including novelist Saul Bellow, Michael borrowed $3,000 to assume a lease on a bookstore. The venture proved so successful that he managed to repay the loan within two months.

            Michael's father Walter, a retired painting contractor, worked one summer with Michael in the Chicago store. He so enjoyed his experience that upon returning to Portland he opened his own used bookstore.


    2. Lascauxcaveman

      Powell's is a Mecca of sorts. It should appear on every thinking person's sidebar.

      And actually more welcome than the PETA not-actually-naked or-even-a-little-bit-shocking softcore porn teasers. I mean, a bleach blonde in a bathing suit fellating a cucumber? This is supposed to make me want to click?

      For the record, I always click the conservative ads when they show up; just can't resist the idea of Ann Coulter's publishers funding my Wonkette.

  27. Serfville

    How much testosterone did Scotty shoot up before these debates? He's the one scaring women, not Liz.

  28. Doktor Zoom

    I do not like your question. I will make the point I really want to make. Fuck you, Mr. Question-asker.

    1. natl_indecency_cmdr

      It will be interesting to see how much time each candidate has when this is over. It feels like Brown gets more.

  29. SorosBot

    OK, finally getting a feed and they're talking about bipartisanship, zzzz. And from that Playgirl spread I think Brown is the most bi.

  30. Callyson

    "I'm completely disgusted by what's going on there"

    Scottie, Gregory's question requires a simple yes or no…Will you vote for McConnell or not?

    Undecided…after two years? Yeah, that's the decisive leader Mass needs…

  31. Callyson

    Elizabeth is doing much better in this debate: she is really standing up for herself. Oh yeah!

  32. Serfville

    Brown is not an intellectual, Liz is, in the long run, as here, she will beat him with her brains, period.

  33. Callyson

    Fear in Scottie's eyes when Elizabeth hit him on voting to lay off cops and teachers and firefighters…that's it, Elizabeth, go in for the kill!

    1. mayor_quimby

      The kind of ruler with that little sharp-ass piece of metal in the edge. I believe in prison a piece of wood with embedded metal is called a shiv – do they still allow those in schools?

  34. Callyson

    "I'm not a student in your classroom"

    Yeah, because she would fail your sorry ass if you were…

    (Lots of boos from the audience over that line–good for them!)

  35. Doktor Zoom

    You teachers are so uppity.

    Brown just scored points with every asshole who wanted to turn in a paper late…twice.

  36. montreal_bruin

    Just joining in to give a true fact: According to Robert Mitchum's autobiography, Forrest Tucker (Sgt. O'Rourke of "F-Troop") had the largest penis in Hollywood. He (Tucker) called it "The Chief."

      1. montreal_bruin

        Tucker was part of the Mitchum bros. version of the Rat Pack. Mitchum also got contractual permission to smoke weed from studio head Howard Hughes. Can't make this shit up!

      1. SorosBot

        He was also famous for whipping it out, and apparently seriously pissed off everyone on Saturday Night Live by doing so. At least he apparently kept it in his pants for The Muppet Show.

    1. DemmeFatale

      When I was a kid, we were living in Japan, and my parents were gob-smacked to see a movie starring "Forrest Fucker" advertised on a huge movie marquee.

      1. montreal_bruin

        I can remember laughing as a teen at a marquee that looked like it said "CUNT EASTWOOD." It occurred to me later in life that that's why when a movie house uses FLICK in its name, they'll usually write it "FLiCK."

        1. viennawoods13

          When I was working at a recreational vehicle dealership back in the mists of time, I was helping a guy change a sign from "Truck Trailers" to "Fifth Wheels". He was being lazy and changing a a couple of letters at a time as I handed them to him. I glanced up at the sign and told him to get the UCK off really fast- before passing motorists started clutching their pearls. This was 1980, when people were a lot more sensitive about that sort of thing.

  37. C_R_Eature

    Excuse me, I'm not a student in your classroom.

    Well, first of all, you'd never pass the entrance exams, you anti-intellectual fuckstick.

  38. SorosBot

    Nobody gives a shit about the deficit, David Gregory. Oh but Brown suggests slashing government benefits of course. But he's bi-partisan!

  39. Callyson

    What? Brown never said how he would vote on Simpson Bowles?

    Christ, he's as bad as Mittens and Lyin' Ryan when it comes to specifics…

  40. Veritas78

    Gregory doesn't ask him "you're Mr. Bipartisan, why don't you get Reid to bring it to floor?"

  41. Callyson

    National Federation of Independent Businesses? Independent? Yeah, because they only contribute 95% of their political bribes to the Reeps…


  42. Doktor Zoom

    This is the Scott Brown show, and he lets Elizabeth Warren and David Gregory say things occasionally.

  43. Veritas78

    Yes! Extremist right-wing pledge! YES!!!

    (We needed to be hearing this two months ago, but…)

  44. Callyson

    Buffet rule! Scottie isn't rushing to interrupt this time…still trying to think of how he'll handle that (hint: not by discussing it directly…)

  45. SorosBot

    Now Scotty's going all-in on why we need to keep shoveling money at oil companies. Oh and ending subsidies is not actually a tax hike.

  46. C_R_Eature

    Well, now we can't go raising taxes on the most profitable transnational corporations in human history, can we?

  47. Callyson

    The Buffet rule feeds the government for a day

    Yeah, so let's not bother getting those billionaires to pay their fair share. That's a winning viewpoint…


  48. SorosBot

    Why does Gregory cut off Warren for talking too long but yet Brown ramble on as long as he wants?

      1. SorosBot

        He's awful. I hadn't seen him moderate a debate before and so hadn't noted that, but he's really going a lot easier on Brown here.

  49. JustPixelz

    Brown says raising taxes causes higher prices, but cutting taxes creates jobs. If taxes affect something, it should affect it the same way in each direction. I give him an "F" in Economics 101.

  50. SorosBot

    C-SPAN is now showing a promo for something with Ross Perot. Remember him? Still brain-dead as ever.

  51. C_R_Eature

    The only thing that would make this debate worse is if David Gregory had his coffee Dosed 45 minutes prior.

    On the other hand…

  52. Callyson

    Aw, that kid is asking for specifics. I see she was smart enough to direct her question to Elizabeth, since she'll have no luck with Scottie…

    1. Negropolis

      You guys are totally about to elect that crazy-ass wrestling exec. Linda McMahon, so I wouldn't be talking. lol

      1. DemmeFatale

        We had to pass that stupid WWF flag all the time when I lived in NY.
        Almost as bad as the huge NRA flag outside DC, or the big-ass Mormon temple in San Diego, or…(I could go on all day)

  53. JustPixelz

    Student asks America for a job in history and political science. Watch out David Gregory! She cute and probably smarter than you.

  54. Beowoof

    Brown, man full of sperm? I think you meant full of the Turtle's sperm. How would that sound when Mitch cums?

  55. Callyson

    "We live in the greatest country in the world"

    Um, Scottie, she asked what you were going to do to generate jobs, not where we live…

  56. WordSaladNation

    Can I say something to all of you? I fucking HATE in debates when candidates talk about an individual person to try to make their larger points. Correlation does not equal causation, or something. It just annoys me.

  57. JustPixelz

    Brown griping about uncertainty. I hope Romney is watching so he knows how his secrecy is destroying America.

    1. bikerlaureate

      That's nebulous and hard to prove, as well as vaguely scary.

      It must've scored well with focus groups or something. He used the same excuse last debate for why businesses aren't hiring.

    2. vtxmcrider

      Uncertainty about how long they can continue to fuck everybody over is really rough on companies, for Pete's sake!

  58. weejee

    Oh shit! Brownie trying to play the uncertainty card? Senator Brown I knew Professor Heisenberg, and you are a just a wienie, not a Werner.

    ed: Although an olde, not that olde, obvs.

  59. Callyson

    People are scared to hire

    No, Scottie, that's not due to taxes–that's because consumer demand is fucking flat and government austerity and cutbacks do not help.

    And I'll see your NFIB and raise you one Great Britain, Recesssion part 2, on that point…

  60. Doktor Zoom

    From Twitter: "@SchwarzenbachB: Elizabeth Warren's doing just an OK job of moderating tonight's Brown/Gregory debate #masendebate"

  61. JustPixelz

    Brown endorsing hiring veterans ahead of (more qualified?) non-vets. It's almost like pitting one group against another.

  62. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Jesus, who is this dick moderator. Makes me glad I don't get my news from the tv.

  63. C_R_Eature

    Did Gregory just shut Warren down cold again?

    It's time to write some motherfucking letters goddammit.

  64. Callyson

    And now Scottie has to weasel out of his opposition to the DREAM act–

    Oh fuck you, it is not amnesty, asshole!

    (More boos–good!)

  65. Mittens Howell, III

    Calm down Elizabeth Warren, you'll have a chance to respond in the next 'Letters To The Editor'.

  66. Serfville

    The DREAM Act is being born with a silver spoon up yer Morman butt, & investing all that dough in Bain Crapital, then fucking up running for Prez, in the worst Prez campaign of all time!

    1. Serfville

      Hey DemmeFatale, here's the thing, I am so sick of Brown laying on that fake pahk yer cah accent in these debates, he didn't talk like that on 60 minutes, his accent is so put on and fake. Hence,"born with the silver spoon up yer Mormon butt" award winning comment was born. Thank you!

  67. Callyson

    Yeah, because people who were brought to this nation when they were children shouldn't expect an education. They should incorporate if they want to be treated like human beings!

  68. JustPixelz

    Brown wants more H1B visas. That's how employers bring computer programmers, engineers and other professionals to America from India and elsewhere at lower wages. If there are no unemployed programmers, then open enough H1Bs to meet demand. Otherwise, hire from in-house.

    1. SorosBot

      Importantly, H1B visas attach immigration status to employment, allowing employers to exploit the hell out of the immigrant employees. So of course Brown loves it.

  69. C_R_Eature

    Elizabeth, after you're elected, you have my permission to tell David Gregory to Go Fuck Himself.

  70. Callyson

    Well, Warren was pretty specific about what she would do–get the troops out, stat. Let's see how vague Scottie is in response…

    1. Veritas78

      Well, she won't actually come to Boston personally, so we're flattered that she stoops to watch our debate through her gin-soaked Catalina haze.

      Or Bakersfield, or whatever.

          1. Veritas78

            Oh, you mean America's Afterbirth Bucket!

            I hear it's delicious. Don't you make a cheesy sandwich out of it, or something quaintly frugal like that?

  71. SorosBot

    Brown just praised Justices Scalia, Kennedy and Roberts. Then he remembers he has to pretend be "bipartisan" and throws in Sotomayor.

      1. SorosBot

        I was about to say "but he claims to be bipartisan!", but then he throws in Sotomayor at the end, and you could tell he was thinking the exact same thing and realized he had to throw in a token liberal.

  72. Serfville

    Palin would have said, "I'll get back to ya, on the Supreme's, but right off the bat, I would have to say Diana Ross", wink, wink.

  73. Callyson

    Why has Mass never elected a female senator or governor?

    "I don't know"

    Good reply–very calm response. Fuck Gregory for trying to get a rise out of her.

    (And he cut off her attempt to reply to Scottie's lies so that he would have time to ask that crappy question? The fuck?)

  74. Designer_Rants

    NOW "Professor" is a compliment. Seriously: She actually said nice things about him. Then he starts with his "Professor" schtick and then said he hopes she doesn't quit her day job. THAT was his "compliment". What a dick.

  75. Callyson

    Did I miss something–is being a professor considered to be a bad thing, in *Massachusetts*?

  76. Incitefully_Joe

    2Names:"Who's your favorite judge?"
    Scott Brown:[Pregnant pause] "All of 'em, Davie!" "I'm an 'independant' so I don't need to take an actual position! (P.S. Scalia, also too)."

    1. glasspusher

      Rilly- and when they won it all in 2004, Bush was reelected a week later, and Schilling tried to campaign for him in Cincy, like that would work. Ugh.

  77. Callyson

    Really? Scottie thinks Elizabeth is going to *lose* votes because she was wrong about the Red Sox not winning 90 days?

    And yet another question went unanswered by this gutless wonder…

    1. viennawoods13

      What is with those flowers???

      eta: Checked the range for those fuckers.Thank goodness they aren't in my area!

      1. kittensdontlie

        If you hear a baby crying in your neighborhood, DON'T GO OUTSIDE!! One of those fishers is no doubt lying in wait, ready to attack your feet…Moral of the story: DO NOT KICK WILD ANIMALS WITH YOUR BAREFEET, OR NOT ALL PERIOD!!!!

        The florist was confused as to what would be appropriate for the occasion??

  78. Callyson

    "50% with the other party"

    Yeah, I love how you have to say "the other party" rather than "the Democrats," because you have to keep hiding the fact that you are a fucking Republican…

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Not that anyone would know it listening to him. He loves that word "independent" so much — shouldn't someone explain to him about Bernie being the Senate's only real Socialist?

      1. vtxmcrider

        Not much room left in that jockstrap. It is almost full – not from centerfold work but with Wall St dollars.

  79. Callyson

    OK, time to take the dogs out, but I'll be back to check out everyone's comments.

    Also, please, whichever team is playing the Cowboys tonight, please win…

  80. SorosBot

    And now it's the Nebraska debate. Hm I don't know if I want to watch one where the Dem is himself a dick but about the best we can get from that state.

  81. Jukesgrrl

    Nice chattin' wit ya, Wonkers. Gotta go to the ATM but I'll check back later to give you all some p-love. And thanks to the Editrix. I couldn't sit through these debates without my pals.

  82. SorosBot

    You can tell this is a Nebraska debate when the first question is about agriculture. Also fuck our agriculture policy, which is solely directed in the interests of the farmers instead of the consumers.

    1. Negropolis

      And, not even farmers in the traditional sense that we understand the word, but corporate farmers. I don't begrudge policy that properly compensates a farm or collection of farms for what can be hard work under often unpredictable circumstances. But, giving these factory farms money to continue to grow shitting soy beans and corn and pigs will be the death of this nation, health-wise. We need more localized direction.

  83. Gleem McShineys

    Apparently you misheard, David Gregory. They asked you to moderate.
    Listen carefully: MOD-ER-ATE.

    What you did was gross and you got it all over yourself.

  84. FlownOver

    She was much better tonight. There was much less of "these are the exact words I'm supposed to say over and over." Meanwhile, he was still just an obfuscating political slimeball hack. Can't say who the Mass voters will think came out on top, but only a Masshole could support Senator Stapledick.

    1. sudsmckenzie

      Eric walked out to the podium, and 47-50% of the crowd immediately wanted to rush the stage and kick him in the nutz. It was just like Jack White at Radio City .

    2. vtxmcrider

      Eric Cantor always looks like he is sniffing his own farts. Or maybe he is just a more discreet David Vitter.

  85. Veritas78

    I don't know. She let both of them control the content for the first half hour, which rehashed all his charges against her. But it did make them look stupid, and towards the end, when Brown said perfessor 8 times in 12 words, it looked sad. He'll win our suburban-trash vote, though.
    I'd rather see her tie the anchor of the republican party to his legs and push him off a pier.

  86. natl_indecency_cmdr

    Why do the moderators call Fischer a Senator? Is she a state senator? And yes I'm now watching the Nebraska debate. Which has been nothing but polite-ish rebuttals for the past 20 minutes.

    1. SorosBot

      These two are both so boring and monotone. Still I'm glad to hear Kerrey point out that dramatic cuts to government spending will, you know, increase unemployment.

    2. FlyOverGirl

      Yes, she's a state senator. She passed legislation to fund roads while cutting education. What a winner.

      1. Negropolis

        That's damned-near enlightened for a Republican from where I'm from. Here, they'd cut education and road funding. Actually, that's exactly what they do. They've cut roading funcing here and Michigan and education and started taxing pensions and other retirement income…to pay for a massive business tax cut. You know, 'cause Freedom.

  87. SorosBot

    As Fischer keeps trotting out the same old Republican lies on the ACA, it's nice to see Kerrey call them out as lies.

    1. FlyOverGirl

      If only the local media would do the same. If anyone wants some fun, dig up the articles from this summer about Fischer getting millions a year in grazing subsidies whle she tries to cut government. Stupid welfare rancher.

      1. SorosBot

        So no wonder she was so adamant about keeping all the wasteful agriculture and ethanol subsidies; not that Kerrey was better on those issues. Stupid regionalism; and stupid Senate that gives empty rural states the same power as California and New York.

    1. Negropolis

      He's just pissed that they haven't made a sequel to the remake of Planet of the Apes, yet (the prequel doesn't count).

  88. Incitefully_Joe

    For the love of God, Massholes, PLEASE: Elect Elizabeth Warren, and I'll take back all the non-sports, non-Harvard, non-Amherst mean things I've said about your state.

    1. glasspusher


      Srsly, she's the first senate candidate in another state I've directly contributed to…

  89. bibliotequetress

    HELP! WONKETTE IS BROKEN! I can't see the comments but I know you all are out there! I feel like John Edward!

    Goodnight, my friends. I came to Wonkette to get the irritating buzz of David Gregory's voice out of my head and now I must try…alone…. to go on….

    I shall check back tomorrow in the hopes that, like my black cashmere turtleneck, you shall reappear out of nowhere after being hidden from my desperate search. There, between the wall and the dresser, like new albeit covered in orange cat hair, I will find my fellow wonketeers and will joyfully roll you with masking tape, I mean catch up with your thoughts on the unsufferable Brown.

  90. natl_indecency_cmdr

    Bob Kerrey: Befuddled Clint Eastwood-esque but way more coherent. Deb Fischer: Ann Romney's long lost twin sister.

  91. decentcitizen

    I can't believe Warren isn't wiping the mat with this guy. Even with the complete support of DG (vacuous asshole) Brown comes off as nothing more than a haircut and a suit.

  92. Negropolis

    Why do I always miss these things? Sounds like my blood pressure was saved, though. Even when he'd not trying to be a Dick, Gregory is a dick, so I can't even imagine when he's trying to be.

    1. DemmeFatale


      Read an article about catching earlier this week. (Russel Martin, NY Times).
      Can you imagine how a catcher feels if Prince is running at him!?

  93. Serfville

    This is how bottom of the barrel Rethugs are at this point. Asking Arnold Schwarzenegger his advice on debates, Mittens, whatever on Shammity. Are you kidding? Fresh off Arnold's disaster misogynist rant on 60 minutes, book from hell. I think he ran to Faux News because his family disowned him last night.

  94. ttommyunger

    Gregory breathlessly calling Rupert Murdoch after the debate: "How'd I do, sir?" . Murdoch: "You've got the job, son; good work!" Gregory: "Thank you, sir…..thank you!"

  95. littlebigdaddy

    Look, I have some great stuff to sell y'all. I have rifles, balls, powder, whiskey, and blankets. (Please don't ask about the latter too much).

  96. vtxmcrider

    I wish our politicians were more like in some other countries. In a South American country last year a female parlamentarian punched a male colleague right in the face on the chamber floor – twice. That is what Elizabeth should have done at the end of the debate – to both of those guys.

  97. Negropolis

    OT: Am I the only one looking forward to the Obama-Romney debate for no other reason than to see Romney try to grab Obama's arm like he did to Rick Perry, and Barry just break that shit off at the elbow?

    I'm itching for this thing to be over, can you tell?

  98. ElPinche

    The floor just collapsed for Romney in NH (52%-37%). The Demonrats may win both houses this time . So if Liz wins, she can get some shit done. If Scott wins, he can twiddle his thumbs for six years. As far as Gregory, he can work for FoxNews and lick Roger Aisle's 1 ft taint.

    1. Negropolis

      Well, considering you need 60 votes in the Senate to get anything done (unless Reid grows a fuckin' pair, already), she won't be able to get much done, but keeping it in our hands is necessary if only for symbolic purposes.

  99. BoroPrimorac

    Warren has a fifteen point lead over Brown among women, who the fuck told Scotty it'd be a good idea to be such a huge douche bag toward Liz?

  100. Incitefully_Joe

    So, funny thing this morning is how people are trying to make hay about Warren being unable to mention a Republican senator who isn't retiring who she could work with.

    Of course, when Brown gave his "I'm bipartisan" answer, he mentioned three Republicans, two of whom are retiring, and also OH YEAH HE IS ALSO A REPUBLICAN SO BEING ABLE TO WORK WITH REPUBLICANS DOES NOT MAKE HIM BIPARTISAN.

  101. actor212

    We are drinking pink Champagne, because it was literally the only booze in the house.

    Pink champagne is your fallback stock?


  102. thefrontpage

    Thanks for the quaint, nostalgic reminder that the television show "F Troop" was simply one of the worst, most offensive, most stupid, most backwards, most idiotic, most un-funny, most un-comedic–and just plain terrible–television shows in the history of television.

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