Tonight At 7PM: Hunk With Truck Faces Professor With Dresser

by Jesse Taylor

who scott brown thinks he is facing tonightTonight at 7PM EST, Miss Lady Rebecca will be live-blogging Massachusetts Senate debate between war-whoopin’ Scott Brown and getting rapidly more pissed off about this whole thing Elizabeth Warren.

Be here! Be attentive! Listen for the not-at-all-veiled racism!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 104 comments }

actor212 October 1, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I'll be watching right along with the home viewers.

Maybe she'll bring a tomahawk and end any chance of a re-spread in Playgirl.

ChillBill October 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Didn't Scottie run out of things to talk about on the first debate?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 4:51 pm

That is why he is showing up nude to this one.

ChillBill October 1, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Yet another reason not to watch it.

bikerlaureate October 1, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Well, except for the strategically placed staple.

rickmaci October 1, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Isn't Scottie a brand of toilet paper?

ChillBill October 1, 2012 at 5:08 pm

That's Brawny, which ironically enough, is also owned by the Kochs.

AlterNewt October 1, 2012 at 4:42 pm

This time she really should walk over and kick him in the nuts.*

*yeah yeah…with votes.

Barbara_ October 1, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Scott Brown is a weapons-grade racist. I think I will watch the Dallas v Chicago football game instead.

Jus_Wonderin October 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Go Chicago!!!

Barbara_ October 1, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Da Bears!

Jus_Wonderin October 1, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I remember a dim discussion I overheard from my Aunt and Uncle from Dallas. They were expressing their anguish that my cousin had one year decided he was a Greenbay fan. I was puzzled that they thought he needed therapy intervention. Ending the discussion with "We just think he will grow out of it".

True story…albeit 40 something years in the past.

Callyson October 1, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Actually, I think the debate will be on before the game. So we can watch two kinds of death battles tonight…

DemmeFatale October 1, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Yankees and Red Sox!!

BaldarTFlagass October 1, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I hope to be watching the Bears sodomize the Cowboys. I will be able to hear the weeping, gnashing of teeth, and rending of garments throughout the neighborhood.

Toomush_Infer October 1, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Oh lord, if you can't help me, for goodness sakes, don't help that bear!….(hey, the Packers and the Vikings already won yesterday, which really sucked for my Lions…)

BaldarTFlagass October 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I think the words "sucked" and "Lions" are contractually obligated to be used in the same sentence, for all time. Sorry about that, I wish they could do a little better. Where are the Wayne Fontes of yesteryear?

HarryButtle October 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Brokeback Mountain meets Gentle Ben.

Go git 'im, Ben.

actor212 October 1, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Boys win, and I go 15 for 15, so you'll pardon me if I take the opposite point of view here.

elviouslyqueer October 1, 2012 at 5:02 pm

As a Saints fan, I have done my fair share of weeping and gnashing of teeth enough already this season, thank you. If it gets any worse, I'm totally unretiring my Aints paper bag.

DCBloom October 1, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I'm so with you. It ain't easy being a Saints fan.

shelwood46 October 1, 2012 at 5:08 pm

In a contest between the Cowboys and the Bears, the only proper thing to wish for is the stadium to blow up.

ManchuCandidate October 1, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I enjoy watching the Cowboys choke. It was one of the few things I looked forward to on Mondays listening to my DFW area coworkers cry over Romo and curse Jerry Jones. I don't follow football that much, but watching the Cowboys take defeat from the Jaws of Victory warm my bitter heart.

BaldarTFlagass October 1, 2012 at 6:29 pm

"It was one of the few things I looked forward to on Mondays listening to my DFW area coworkers cry over Romo and curse Jerry Jones."
This, except "San Antonio" instead of "DFW." Present tense instead of past, also.

BarackMyWorld October 1, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Will he say "Just look at her" or "checked the box" enough times to put people in a coma if they make a drinking game out of it? What's the over/under on alcohol related fatalities?

JerkCade October 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Senator from Massachusetts you say? That's kinda indian-sounding.

iburl October 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Massachusetts is from the Kickapoo word for, roughly translated, "Land of the Brain-dead male-model Senator who thinks that checking some dumb box one way or another is a more important consideration than the fact that he is the admitted butt-boy of the 1%."

YouBetcha October 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Will he be wearing a shirt during this debate? I was promised a shirtless debate last time. Someone lied to me.

actor212 October 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Maybe you need to set the mood by taking yours off.

YouBetcha October 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I'm not falling for that one again.

actor212 October 1, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Damn. The pictures last time were fuzzy.

BaldarTFlagass October 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

email from Scott to Elizabeth:
“I do not want to hear ‘no’ or ‘we’ll see about that.’ I want my racist slander to be with you. God has authorized you and you only as my partner for debate and that is what I want.”

SorosBot October 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I wish I had some alcohol for this. At least I'll be at the bar Wednesday night when the first Pres debate comes up.

noodlesalad October 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

No liquor? No problem! At the next debate Scott Brown is giving away free smallpox blankets along with whiskey! They keep you safe from smallpox, I think.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 5:06 pm

As long as you have a toilet and some juice, you are just a few simple steps away from liquor.

Lascauxcaveman October 1, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Won't be able to watch the debate or even follow the liveblog, but tonight at cocktail hour I'll toast good luck to our palefaced, progressive, professorial Pocahontas!

KeepFnThatChicken October 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Heap big esteemed colleague speak with fork-ed tongue.

Jus_Wonderin October 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Scott Brown is pale face. And chest, and legs and pubes.

ThankYouJeebus October 1, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Liz is going to offer him a pair of pink leather shorts and suggest he put his big boy pants on.

Estproph October 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I hope someone in the audience beats on a tom-tom when she is making debate points.

Schmannnity October 1, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Congressional staff have it covered.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Is this the Jello or the Mud debate?

elviouslyqueer October 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Doktor Zoom October 1, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I'd kind of forgotten what a special decade the 80s was.

Callyson October 1, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I have a new role model.

weejee October 1, 2012 at 6:29 pm

So Brownie's closing is gong to be something like:

Whip me! Beat me! Talk dirty to me! Make me write hot checks!!!

Mojopo October 1, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Shitshitshit! I'm making a spanakopita then! Dammit I knew I forgot something. Dammit!

glasspusher October 1, 2012 at 6:48 pm

What time should I be over? Mmmm!

noodlesalad October 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Needz moar sexist anti-intellectualism. She's a WOMMIN PERFESSER for Pete's Sake!!!

Don't worry, Scotty will remind you about a bajillionity-seven times.

SayItWithWookies October 1, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Go, Elizabeth — wampum! Oh, sorry.

ThankYouJeebus October 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Wampum? I barely knew 'em.

mrblifil October 1, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Perhaps she will address Scott Brown by his Native American name, "Oiled Shit Weasel."

Lucidamente1 October 1, 2012 at 4:55 pm

"And I demand that Prof. Warren tell the voters of Massachusetts where she stands on King Philip's War."

dcjdjay October 1, 2012 at 4:56 pm

7 PM? Isn't that when he drives his truck and/or works out? How dare this Commanche squaw take Scott away from his Christian practices?

DahBoner October 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

"Do you have to keep the Firewater at your house locked up or are you one of those "Irish" injuns who can handle their liquor?"

Poindexter718 October 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

More @ 'Schmuck with truck faces squaw who teaches law'

rickmaci October 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Hope she can Nokahoma tonight.

magic_titty October 1, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Colonel Munro versus Magua: WHO YA GOT!?!?

DemmeFatale October 1, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Ooooo!
Last of the Mohicans.

I've only seen the movie, but that Daniel Day-Lewis can sure run up a hill-side.
(I also love the way he says: Ken-tuck-EE.)

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 5:07 pm

I heard that in the interest of peach, Scott Brown has a nice warm blanket that he plans to give Ms. Warren.

SorosBot October 1, 2012 at 5:09 pm

The interest of peach? What are they running for Senator for the Mushroom Kingdom?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Well, Massachusetts, yes.

Still, I hate when I destroy my own joke.

emmelemm October 1, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Remember, *you're* the peach.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 6:29 pm

True. But it could also mean I slur when I type drunk.

DustBowlBlues October 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I can't believe it–I finally got the right "my" wonkette screen. I've been trying for so long, I was convinced my nightmare conspiracy had finally happened. That would be that the millionaire dipshit who owns "Hobby Lobby" (the guy who bailed out Orel R.U.–the most recent bailout), the NRA, the RNC, the KKK and the Confessing Movement had paid ATT mega-visits to Mittens summer home and three free rides for two executives and their cars car to go up and down the elevator, and let ATT's favorite CEO emcee Mittens' roast in exchange for scrambling the tubes that deliver the wonket throughout the Bible Belt, starting with the Dust Bowl.

rickmaci October 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Nice try with the Cleveland logo, but the one you need is for the Boston Braves (now Atlanta)

Blueb4sinrise October 1, 2012 at 5:27 pm

The corresponding football team- Browns…
WAIKE UPPPPPPPP SHHHHHHHPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

LibertyLover October 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Will there be lovely parting gifts for the contestants?

Nostrildamus October 1, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Scott will be taking home a wedgie.

ttommyunger October 1, 2012 at 5:12 pm

He's already played the Race Card and the "I have a truck" Card. What the fuck is this empty suit going to talk about tonight? I'm prettier than you are?

bikerlaureate October 1, 2012 at 5:15 pm

The Harvard-elitist canard.

ttommyunger October 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm

From a male Centerfold? That should be interesting.

ThankYouJeebus October 1, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Tarot cards?

ttommyunger October 1, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I see humiliation in his future.

Jus_Wonderin October 1, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Is this the one with Bruce Willis?

ttommyunger October 1, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Somehow I think Scott would kind of like to “be” with Bruce Willis.

bikerlaureate October 1, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Do you see more of that petulant, arrogant attitude on Scotty's part? The likely voters really seemed to take a shine to that.

ttommyunger October 1, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I will tune in long enough to check it out. Doubt he can turn it on and off, though. Ingrained petulance/arrogance, I'm betting.

rickmaci October 1, 2012 at 5:18 pm

"I have bigger balls than you" (although in this case that might be risky for him.)?

no_gravity October 1, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Is Warren going to peg Brown tonight for all of his falsehoods?

Nostrildamus October 1, 2012 at 5:37 pm

She'll drive her points home straight and true. Brown will be left gasping for breath.

ThankYouJeebus October 1, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I hope that Santorum doesn't come up.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 6:30 pm

I thought that was between Allen West and his good lady wife?

Schmannnity October 1, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I hope Brown loses so he can move to Florida and run against Debbie Wasserman Schultz, just so he can say, "Just look at her, she's no Jew."

Misty Malarky October 1, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Brown man speak with forked tongue. Ugh.

Callyson October 1, 2012 at 6:04 pm

And in a related story:

Wall Street never wanted to see Elizabeth Warren sworn into the Senate, and now it's flooding her opponent’s campaign coffers in the final stretch of one of the closest races in the country.
Scott Brown raked in more than $500,000 from employees and PACs in the financial sector in June, the most recent month of data available, a report compiled by the Center for Responsive Politics for POLITICO found. That's more than he's gotten from the industry in any month since the start of last year. Brown has already received more than $3.3 million from the finance, insurance and real estate industries this cycle, according to CRP, more than any other member of Congress or congressional candidate.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1012/81876.h

GO ELIZABETH!

RufusTFirefly October 1, 2012 at 6:14 pm

She should totally take an ear of corn onstage and say, "But we call it maize."

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 1, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Then shove it up Brown's ass?

With Votes?

randcoolcatdaddy October 1, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I hope this isn't one of those debates where the looser winds up with a blanket and smallpox.

Limeylizzie October 1, 2012 at 6:43 pm
chascates October 1, 2012 at 6:47 pm

The rabbi should have told her since it's a Yom Kippur service she is now Jewish.

weejee October 1, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Guess She1ey is atone deaf. Maybe she thought they were serving yummy kippers?

IceCreamEmpress October 1, 2012 at 6:54 pm

She thought Kol Nidre was something with hunky miners who were forced by their plant managers to attend?

Doktor Zoom October 1, 2012 at 6:45 pm

OT: I have acquired a new betta fish to replace the late Darth Betta, who quietly sank to the bottom of his tank in early August and was flushed to his reward. The new fish is red with lovely blue-green scales on his sides, and his name is Derpy Fins Murphy. He really is a handsome devil.

Gotta like a $3.98 pet with a lifespan of 1-2 years.

chascates October 1, 2012 at 6:50 pm

And they die before you get tired of them!

C_R_Eature October 1, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Congratulations and we will, of course Require Photos.

$3.98 over 1-2 years is pretty cost effective, Dok, conspired to my preferred companions. On the plus side, though, I've never been able to successfully train a Betta to retrieve game birds all day long. you get what you pay for, I suppose.

Doktor Zoom October 2, 2012 at 11:29 am

My first betta, Flushy, had one "trick": he would jump up to snap a food pellet from my fingertip, as much as a half-inch above the surface of his tank. One time I could feel his teensy fish teeth trying to get a grip on my finger, and I swear he held on for a fraction of a second.

"Aww, he thinks he's a shark"

ChessieNefercat October 2, 2012 at 7:08 am

Those bettas would probably live longer if they exercised, I mean swam around a little. I had one once and it actually sat in a little plastic chair. My daughter thought it was the most boring pet ever.

But they sure are pretty.

IceCreamEmpress October 1, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Polls finally looking good for Our Lizzie, so my hope is that Scott will continue to embarrass himself tonight. That and Mittens's anti-coattails effect are making me cautiously optimistic.

Warren is so great and Brown is so terrible that I will seriously cry if she doesn't win. I haven't cried about politics since 2000, either, so.

ChessieNefercat October 1, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I'm so sorry to say this, but when I saw good old Chief Wahoo, mascot of the Cleveland Indians, my heart bubbled over with good memories of growing up in Cleveland, Ohio, the Mistake on the Lake.

The Cleveland Press (afternoon paper, long defunct) gave free tickets to the games to any straight A student (they could have given tickets to any student, period, in NE Ohio; not like anyone but players' families showed up in the 80,000 seat Municipal Stadium), and it was great fun to take the city buses downtown for an afternoon game. For a rare evening game, we had to have a parent take us.

Sudden Sam McDowell and Steve Hargan (this close to a perfect game!) on the mound, Jack Heidemann and Eddie Lean at shortstop and second base. Ray Fosse being creamed at home plate, not a good memory. I babysat for announcer Herb Score, a promising pitcher injured early on in his career in the 50's.

What a surprise when, not long after the movie Major League came out, the Indians actually started winning. Then they went to Jacobs Field, holding a mere 50,000 seats.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I'm awake now. Carry on.

(Now I know Chief Wahoo is a racist,demeaning caricature, but seeing it right there on myWonkette sure brought back memories.)

kittensdontlie October 1, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Go Injuns!!

OurHoboSenator October 1, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I give my Indians fan friends so much crap about that logo. Because I can be smug. Because everyone knows that racism has NEVER been associated with the Cincinnati Reds….

BaldarTFlagass October 2, 2012 at 9:07 am

Aren't they named after commie union members?

ttommyunger October 1, 2012 at 10:33 pm

What's the difference between Scott Brown and George "Macaca" Allen? Not much. Both are big, dumb racist cunts.

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