second amendment remedies

Whoops My Gun Room Exploded

Live by the gun room, die by the gun roomWe hope you are okay, Amy Wood, wife of Idaho Rep. Fred Wood, since you sustained second-degree burns on your face and hands after your gun room esploded, causing the back patio slab to collapse into the room below.

Why do people in Idaho need whole gun rooms? Probably zombies. (By which, everyone knows, we mean “black people.”)

Here is a weird thing, though. It is Idaho and Fred Wood is a Republican, so we went to his VoteSmart page looking for lots of idiotic votes … but he voted against Idaho bills to prohibit Obamacare? And he voted against allowing pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions? And he voted against urging Congress to repeal contraception coverage? But then he voted to urge Congress to pass a Rights of Conscience Act? Which is like the opposite? Either VoteSmart’s database is alllll kinds of fucked up, or Fred Wood is one of those almost extinct creatures: a Republican who sometimes is sensible but then often also is not? (That part is not so almost-extinct.)

Also, Fred Wood seems to always vote against cutting taxes. How he is still in office (IN IDAHO) is beyond us, but maybe it’s that Second Amendment/Real Murkin cred you get from having a gun room (explode).

[NYT]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    Looks like that pic exploded too! Was it taken at one of the Wonkette drinky things?

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Sadly, I recognize that pic just from the knee.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Oops! Someone accidentally posted a pic from their personal 'knee bukkake' stash.

    • rickmaci

      Hey ! Who took the cell phone pic of me at the party at the hotel on Saturday?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        LiLo, is that you? You know, I think you need a spa day…

        • PsycWench

          I'd like to see a betting pool regarding how much wax it would take to dehair that guy. I'm thinking about 25 pounds.

          • rickmaci

            Hard to know with that thong cover. Guessing it's moar.

    • Terry

      No, that's the latest photo of Riley. He gave up on the manscaping.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Errrrrrrrrrrrr.

  • BornInATrailer

    Sadly, I recognize the gross "hairy guy in briefs posing with guns" pic just from that exploded portion.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Did you check it against your wall poster version?

      • BornInATrailer

        It was under the c:\tearful-fap-bank directory.

    • YouBetcha

      I'm pretty sure I dated that guy.

  • nounverb911

    Karma anyone?

  • MissTaken

    It's a life-sized calf. So big.

    • James Michael Curley

      That's not a calf. That's a full grown steer.

  • Boojum

    This is why everyone should have guns, in case someone's gun room explodes.

    • Estproph

      I have guns, but not in a gun room. I am therefore completely safe.

    • Advn2rgirl

      When gunrooms explode, only outlaws will have guns.

    • Negropolis

      If he'd had another gun room on his property, he would have been able to defend himself against his other gun room.

  • SorosBot

    Aaah the picture, it's all over the Wonkette, too big!

  • StealthMuslin

    My "gun room" just exploded too, if you know what I mean…

    • Barbara_

      Did it go off while you were cleaning it? Almond scented body wash will do that, ya know.

    • rickmaci

      Got to watch where you point that thing, you might shoot somebody's eye out.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I suspect Yosemite Sam. Probably had a Acme Bibi bomb.

  • LastGasp

    … Fred Wood is one of those almost extinct creatures: a Republican who sometimes is sensible …

    That explains why he has the gun room. Some wingnuts don't take kindly to "treason," as they call it.

  • keepwalkin

    My gun exploded too but NOT to THAT picture!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I don't even want to see the rest of whatever that picture is.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      I particularly like the Fender knock off with no strings, myself.

  • BornInATrailer

    Oh, and everyone who complained about the previously mangled pic.. are you really happier now? Really?

    • keepwalkin

      No, the doctor is not happy!

      UNHAPPY MACNAM. UNHAPPY MACNAM. SYSTAT. UPTIME 9:01

  • decay500

    That's Russell Brand before his diet, right?

    • GregComlish

      Russel Brand is sticking it to Katy Perry by posing as an American.

    • SoBeach

      Before yoga, too. These days he can do a proper supta baddha konasana

  • elviouslyqueer

    OH MY FUCKING GOD MY EYES.

    • rickmaci

      Bleach will get the stain out.

    • PsycWench

      Does that guy qualify as a bear? Or are bears supposed to be a lot more attractive? I'm trying to keep up with the times.

      • Esteev

        He is a bear trying to make up for something…

      • Boojum

        He's more of a badger, I think.

        • elviouslyqueer

          A honey badger, even. 'Cuz it's painfully evident that he don't give a shit.

      • natl_indecency_cmdr

        I asked him. He said: "I'm whatever you want me to be, baby."

    • viennawoods13

      Amen, brother

    • CindynEncinitas

      Thank Christ it's not wearing a wedding ring.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Still available, LAYDEEZ

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Are those burn marks on that inner thigh? Or just some chafing from some excessive gun-love?

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      I don't know which is sexier: the chafing, or the uni-brow.

      (I think I just made myself throw up.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    The foldout isn't working.

    • PsycWench

      This is the kind of picture that you fold back up.
      Then you shred it and burn the shreds.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Isn't that picture a screen shot from "A Christmas Story" where Santa's elf says "you'll shoot your nuts off, kid?"

    • Yellerdawg

      Either that or he's holding his penis hostage.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    "Gun Rooms R Us' stocks will go through the roof now this story has broken.

    • mille derps

      Of course they will go through the roof- that's what things do when they're kept in gun rooms…

  • Indiepalin

    How'd you guys get into my house?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Congratulations! We haven't had a minus-p here for awhile.

  • Baconzgood

    Oh my God my monitor shrank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • mille derps

      Is that what kids are calling it these days?

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    That's the pic Marcus uses to help him pray away teh gey. Pretty much works every time.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      onward Christian soldiers

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Yes, only straight men have orgasms over other guys with guns, so if this gets them off, it's their graduation.

  • MissTaken

    I came.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I saw.

      • Mittens Howell, III

        I wish.

        • Nostrildamus

          I daho.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I bet you are…

          • Nostrildamus

            I ball.

          • Negropolis

            I pod.

          • Nostrildamus

            I'd never seen that verb in the pluperfect subjunctive before.

          • Negropolis

            The beauty of life is that we learn everyday!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I didn't

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I won't ever again.

    • Guppy

      That was awfully fast.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Thought that was me for a second, but I don't own any guitars.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      How about computer game controllers? Because that's what those 'guitars' are. Nintendo Rock Band or somesuch?

      • Gleem McShineys

        That's his wii controller, in a front holster, then?

  • ThankYouJeebus

    Fred Ward played a worm-killing bad ass in Tremors.
    Fred Wood is hoping to star in the sequel.

    • Limeylizzie

      Fred Ward shared an apartment with MrLimeylizzie in San Fransisco in the sixties!, I will ask if it had a gun-room.

      • ThankYouJeebus

        That puts you at 3 degrees of Kevin Bacon!

  • Baconzgood

    I would have prefered that photograph the old "bigger way". When you couldn't make out what it was.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Gun rooms are so bourgeois. The "cool kids" are building hangers and landing fields for their drone fleets these days.

  • fatbob54

    Caption: Nobody move or the dick gets it.

    • YasserArraFeck

      That's right – I'm going to shoot the dick in the penis

    • nonbeliever7

      "Hey big boy. Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just…BANG…aaaaaggggghhhhhhhh"

  • Baconzgood

    Was the room wearing a hoodie?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Fred Wood is a total donk, but he made some great movies.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Like Plan Nine from Couer d'Alene, such as.

  • SorosBot

    If you have so many guns that you need a whole room for all of them, then you probably have too many fucking guns.

    • CommieDad

      How can you have too many guns? My friends in Idaho think that having at least one of every model of Gun ever made is important. The right gun for the right kill, that's what I always say.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      So then by this logic, a bathroom means I'm too clean?

      • Boojum

        Yes. One sink is plenty.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I don't have all the faucets I want, but I have all the faucets I need.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            You figure out the bidet yet?

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I have a feeling some of the people who have one of every gun model would agree that one sink constitutes a bathroom. At least that's how it works here in Arizona.

    • mille derps

      I think the Woods family now has fewer guns than before they got the gun room. Go figure…

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You can't explain that!

  • CommieDad

    A gun room is part of most houses in Idaho. In fact, zoning codes require it.

    • RedneckMuslin

      Have you seen any blahs in Idaho? It works.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    It's a good thing their bazooka room is on the opposite side of the house.

    • UW8316154

      It's important to keep the gum collection away from explosives.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I saw this scene. It was in Tremors 2, when the worms started attacking the bunker that Reba McIntyre lived in with the dad from Family Ties.

  • delaney_blom

    The AP story has a few gems: "Burley Fire Chief"

    and the closing line, "The cause of the explosion is not yet known." Maybe it was the room full of explosives?

    • Boojum

      Somebody farted at dinner.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Everytime a gun room explodes an angel faps himself to sleep.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Real Americans have a back up gun room.

  • Baconzgood

    Banana hammocks? Really banana hammocks? There needs to be a law against that dude wearing banana hammocks.

    • GregComlish

      Why Baconz always got to lay on the hate? If I want to walk around the house in a banana hammock singing "Day-O, Me say Day-ay-ay-O" then that is part of what makes me special and you should support my alternative lifestyle.

      • Baconzgood

        Just dudes that own more than 3 pistols can't have banana hammocks.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Oh.

          *whew*

          OK, then. Carry on

          • GregComlish

            "six foot, seven foot, eight foot, punch!"

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          On the plus side, banana hammocks make concealed carry either difficult or embarrassing.

      • UW8316154

        That's cool and all, I think what Baconz means is there should be a law against *taking pictures* that dude wearing his banana hammock.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Happens sometimes. Rooms just explode.

    • Boojum

      Natural causes.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      My TV room explodes every time Ann Coulter materializes on a program.

      • MosesInvests

        "It's 9:00, and time for the penguin on your television to explode."

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I just noticed: why does one of his guitars come from Guitar Hero?

    • CrunchyKnee

      Both appear to be vidya game guitars, playing real guitar takes too much time away from Chic-fil-a and gunz.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Really? That's not a Fender knockoff?

        • Baconzgood

          I looked close for you (and looking at that photograph is somthing only a true friend would do), and they are both video controlers.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I appreciate the sacrifice. It must have been difficult. Send me the therapist bill.

          • AlterNewt

            I would like to think that a genuine Strat would walk right out of that picture all on its own.

          • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

            Hand in hand with the Les Paul. Sometimes pretty much everyone can agree.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Dude has to have something to do between bouts of compulsive masturbation.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      What guitar?

    • Gleem McShineys

      Perhaps because some of the guns come from Hasbro?

  • Pat_Pending

    Please stop posting that pic. It causes all sorts of mental dissonance that I don't need. I can handle the great big naked guy in from of the computer. He's not doing the 'come hither' stance that gives me the jibblies all day long.

  • calliecallie

    Guns don't cause gun rooms to explode. People do. Or ammo, maybe.

    • Boojum

      Or Jesus.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Isn't the gun room where you have circular firing squads? You know, like the ones Mittens' staff is looking to hold on the mourning of October 4th, just hours minutes after Willard totally tanks in the debate.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    so that's what Ted Nugent looks like without the cowboy hat and camos…

    • LibrarianX

      Without his man girdle.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        I hear he favors Spanx by Smith & Wesson.

  • LibrarianX

    oh, dear god! that photo gave me hysterical BLINDNESS.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      Lucky.

  • rickmaci

    Do we even want to know what she had stored in that room?

  • SpiderCrab

    i can't watch! He's about to assassinate his little soldier!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Man, Dave Navarro has really let himself go since his last tour.

    • BornInATrailer

      Jane's Addiction appears to be Cheetos.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Thought Dave wuz a PRS guy.

  • schvitzatura

    USS Iowa Turret #2 Redux? Was the ghey involved in this 'plosion?

    Overzealous over-ramming and "supercharged" powder bags, what could go wrong?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Pretty sure the guy in that pic is playing the role of Obama in Mitt Romney's practice debates.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Fuck. I thought that was the actor playing Obama's father in that film clip one thread back

      • Mittens Howell, III

        He's having a good year.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          He's like the Anton Yelchin of low-budget movies.

  • PsycWench

    Please let the A Beka publishers know that the missing link has been discovered.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I never noticed the bed in that picture before. Twin sized childhood bed in his parent's basement? Definitly never been touched by a woman and Mom changing the sheets doesn't count. (poor mom)

  • mavenmaven

    Guns don't kill people, patios do.

  • CommieDad

    Having your gun room explode is to the right what burning down your (medical) grow lab by dropping a lit joint into the fertilizer is to the left.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    Happiness is a warm gun…

    • kittensdontlie

      and hot ammo.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    The idea of someone having a gun room capable of that kind of explosion reminds me of when my father first started having signs of Alzheimers and we discovered he was stock-piling dozens of gallons of gasoline in cans in the garage.

  • Come here a minute

    At least somebody is taking Republican campaign advice to act more like David Koresh.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I hope this guy shoots his dick off. With the gun.

    • natl_indecency_cmdr

      No! "With votes."

  • HELisforHEL

    Whenever I see this or the Fat Computer Nakedy Guy pic, I think of Mad TV's 'Lowered Expectations' bit.
    Because someone thought this was worthy of capturing in a sexytime way.

    Ugh, must go bleach eyes now.

  • barto

    I thought home room explosions were confined to the powder room, but every day's a school day, as they say.

  • kittensdontlie

    If that guy was in your gun room, you would welcome an explosion…a very large one.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    Pool noodle?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    But was it a quiet gun room? I'm guessing not.

  • pdiddycornchips

    OT but that Asian betty asking to be undressed links to a website for dating women in China. WTF? Sex trafficking is probably not the kind of thing your readers support so why take their ad dollars?

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Fred's wood exploded? Not to that picture it didn't.

  • CommieDad

    Wow, the room really did fucking explode: http://bit.ly/SdMY0q

    I hope the guns are ok.

    • Nostrildamus

      I've been to Idaho. That's the "before" picture.

  • Beach_Bubba_Tex

    And people get upset seeing depictions of Mohammed!? Where's this dude's embassy… I need to know right now.

  • Gumboz1953

    Some scientists say that we share 98% DNA with the apes. Not trying to imply anything. Or maybe I am.

  • Esteev

    I was just cleaning it and it went off!

    • viennawoods13

      That's what she said last night…. badaboom

  • Baconzgood

    Gun powder in room, room blows out. You can't explain it.

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    Is that Booger from Revenge of the Nerds?

    • SorosBot

      People always forget about his role in the later years of Moonlighting, though with that show's drop in quality after Maddie and David slept together I guess that's to be expected.

  • GregComlish

    As hilarious as the purported premise of this story is, I bet the simply truth is that she was just operating a meth lab in her gun room. Occam's razor, people.

  • MozakiBlocks

    BRB – have to go throw up.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Seems like Fred likes to vote "Nay" in repeated efforts to say "No" to a variety of legis–

    Seriously, the picture is just goddamn distracting. I mean, a stratocaster knock-off and a game controller for Guitar Hero?! It looks like he's about to commit peniside!

  • MissTaken

    Little known facts: for this gentleman's Christmas card he strikes the same pose, but while wearing a red banana-hammock and has his mom put the Rudulph the Red Nosed Reindeer sheets on the bed. He's a very festive gun owner.

    • SorosBot

      Don't you wish I had the body and body hair of this hunk of a man?

      • MissTaken

        it would help if I needed to take a vow of celibacy at some point.

        • SorosBot

          It's a good reminder to keep policing my body hair and keeping everything nice and trimmed.

  • docterry6973

    English country houses all have gun rooms, along with a library and billiard room and a drawing room and a smoking room. Convenient places for Poirot or Miss Marple to assemble the suspects and unmask the killer. I bet it is just like that in Idaho too, which I am told is very nice.

    • SorosBot

      Oh I know; it was Mrs. Peacock in the library with the candlestick! No wait, it was everybody except Mr. Green, who was really an FBI agent in disguise, and the whole thing was masterminded by Wadsworth the butler who was actually Mr. Boddy himself the whole time.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Mister Basketball with the Glock in the Basement Day Bed!

  • Goonemeritus

    If only his wife or he were armed at the time of the cowardly room attack they could have held the gun room at bay. It’s not enough to own gun you need to be armed 24-7. Take an AK to bed, shower with a 9mm, bring a rocket launcher to Grandmas for Thanksgiving.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Honey, I Blew Up the Guns!"

  • ChrisM2011

    Why the gun room? Tremors.

  • Hammiepants

    Naked Hairy Gun Guy never ceases to fill me with a nameless horror and existential dread.

  • MonkeyMotion

    It's not the size of the gun room that matters — it's how you use it.
    Or something.

  • Barrelhse

    People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
    Or so.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I am secure enough in my manhood to know I can carry that look off. I am just not certain how far I could carry it before breaking down like a school girl and dropping it.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Amy Wood, the wife of state Rep. Fred Wood, was taken by air ambulance to a Utah hospital

    They could use more than the ACA in Idaho since they don't have hospitals that treat second degree burns.

    • Guppy

      Building such facilities costs money. It's cheaper to bill patients for ZOMGWTFBBQ transport instead.

  • BornInATrailer

    Wonkette staff, could you please post another story, any story, so that this pic isn't at the top ever time I update? I'm getting that not-so-refresh feeling.

  • YouBetcha

    Mmmmm, unibrow plus receding hairline, sexxxxxxy. I'd hit that.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The hair on his head is probably migrating to his back.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Everything you wanted to know (but were afraid to ask).

    And don't blame me because I'm warning you…there are more pics.
    ~

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Absolutely amazing…

  • Naked_Bunny

    The cause of the explosion is not yet known.

    Guy Fawkes is at it again!

  • owhatever

    Storing the gunpowder keg next to the nitroglycerin is no longer recommended. When the oven timer beeps, bad things can happen.

  • CommieDad

    I can see Idaho out my front window. I need a gun room to protect myself from a mob of angry white men from Hayden. Ok, off to Idaho to buy guns!

  • Serfville

    I thought Russell Brand was divorced from Katy Perry ( & his guns)? Wadup? Oh, & I thought Russell Brand was on the thin side http://www.vh1.com/celebrity/2008-12-23/caption-t

  • CindynEncinitas

    Party in the front and, uh…

  • DahBoner

    Go ahead. Make my home-remodeling project. Punk.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Mom?

  • ttommyunger

    Cretins like this always seem to have black skivvies (don't ask me how I know this). Is it because of the inevitable skid-mark problem? Survey says: YES!

  • monthlykos

    I was ready to hate him, but the pink, 3-pronged dildo got my juices going.

  • Isyaignert

    That dude in the picture looks like the missing link between us and the apes.

  • Living in Joy

    Ok, first the Allen West story and now this visual that I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD! What kind of sadistic freaks are you people? I may go throw up now.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Ken Layne has really let himself go.

  • Gleem McShineys

    This is exactly how I pictured Neilist.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Ahhh, a step back down memory lane…

  • LibrarianX

    When did National Geographic get so edgy?

  • Negropolis

    Things that are seen can not be unseen.

  • Negropolis

    This is why you don't cook meth in the gun room.

  • tigernole

    Russel Brand has really let himself go.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    The cause of the explosion is not yet known. Let me venture a wild guess …

  • Caelan Aegana

    Everyone in Idaho is a Republican, whether they are or not.

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    The absolute first thing I learned in Gun Safety class was – Never, ever point a gun at your dick and balls!