second amendment remedies

Whoops My Gun Room Exploded

Live by the gun room, die by the gun roomWe hope you are okay, Amy Wood, wife of Idaho Rep. Fred Wood, since you sustained second-degree burns on your face and hands after your gun room esploded, causing the back patio slab to collapse into the room below.

Why do people in Idaho need whole gun rooms? Probably zombies. (By which, everyone knows, we mean “black people.”)

Here is a weird thing, though. It is Idaho and Fred Wood is a Republican, so we went to his VoteSmart page looking for lots of idiotic votes … but he voted against Idaho bills to prohibit Obamacare? And he voted against allowing pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions? And he voted against urging Congress to repeal contraception coverage? But then he voted to urge Congress to pass a Rights of Conscience Act? Which is like the opposite? Either VoteSmart’s database is alllll kinds of fucked up, or Fred Wood is one of those almost extinct creatures: a Republican who sometimes is sensible but then often also is not? (That part is not so almost-extinct.)

Also, Fred Wood seems to always vote against cutting taxes. How he is still in office (IN IDAHO) is beyond us, but maybe it’s that Second Amendment/Real Murkin cred you get from having a gun room (explode).


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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        1. PsycWench

          I'd like to see a betting pool regarding how much wax it would take to dehair that guy. I'm thinking about 25 pounds.

  1. BornInATrailer

    Sadly, I recognize the gross "hairy guy in briefs posing with guns" pic just from that exploded portion.

    1. Negropolis

      If he'd had another gun room on his property, he would have been able to defend himself against his other gun room.

  2. LastGasp

    … Fred Wood is one of those almost extinct creatures: a Republican who sometimes is sensible …

    That explains why he has the gun room. Some wingnuts don't take kindly to "treason," as they call it.

  3. BornInATrailer

    Oh, and everyone who complained about the previously mangled pic.. are you really happier now? Really?

    1. PsycWench

      Does that guy qualify as a bear? Or are bears supposed to be a lot more attractive? I'm trying to keep up with the times.

  4. EatsBabyDingos

    Isn't that picture a screen shot from "A Christmas Story" where Santa's elf says "you'll shoot your nuts off, kid?"

    1. mille derps

      Of course they will go through the roof- that's what things do when they're kept in gun rooms…

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      How about computer game controllers? Because that's what those 'guitars' are. Nintendo Rock Band or somesuch?

  5. ThankYouJeebus

    Fred Ward played a worm-killing bad ass in Tremors.
    Fred Wood is hoping to star in the sequel.

    1. Limeylizzie

      Fred Ward shared an apartment with MrLimeylizzie in San Fransisco in the sixties!, I will ask if it had a gun-room.

  6. Baconzgood

    I would have prefered that photograph the old "bigger way". When you couldn't make out what it was.

    1. nonbeliever7

      "Hey big boy. Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just…BANG…aaaaaggggghhhhhhhh"

  7. SorosBot

    If you have so many guns that you need a whole room for all of them, then you probably have too many fucking guns.

    1. CommieDad

      How can you have too many guns? My friends in Idaho think that having at least one of every model of Gun ever made is important. The right gun for the right kill, that's what I always say.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          I have a feeling some of the people who have one of every gun model would agree that one sink constitutes a bathroom. At least that's how it works here in Arizona.

    2. mille derps

      I think the Woods family now has fewer guns than before they got the gun room. Go figure…

  8. actor212

    I saw this scene. It was in Tremors 2, when the worms started attacking the bunker that Reba McIntyre lived in with the dad from Family Ties.

  9. delaney_blom

    The AP story has a few gems: "Burley Fire Chief"

    and the closing line, "The cause of the explosion is not yet known." Maybe it was the room full of explosives?

  10. Baconzgood

    Banana hammocks? Really banana hammocks? There needs to be a law against that dude wearing banana hammocks.

    1. GregComlish

      Why Baconz always got to lay on the hate? If I want to walk around the house in a banana hammock singing "Day-O, Me say Day-ay-ay-O" then that is part of what makes me special and you should support my alternative lifestyle.

        1. BoatOfVelociraptors

          On the plus side, banana hammocks make concealed carry either difficult or embarrassing.

      1. UW8316154

        That's cool and all, I think what Baconz means is there should be a law against *taking pictures* that dude wearing his banana hammock.

    1. CrunchyKnee

      Both appear to be vidya game guitars, playing real guitar takes too much time away from Chic-fil-a and gunz.

        1. Baconzgood

          I looked close for you (and looking at that photograph is somthing only a true friend would do), and they are both video controlers.

          1. AlterNewt

            I would like to think that a genuine Strat would walk right out of that picture all on its own.

  11. Pat_Pending

    Please stop posting that pic. It causes all sorts of mental dissonance that I don't need. I can handle the great big naked guy in from of the computer. He's not doing the 'come hither' stance that gives me the jibblies all day long.

  12. weejee

    Isn't the gun room where you have circular firing squads? You know, like the ones Mittens' staff is looking to hold on the mourning of October 4th, just hours minutes after Willard totally tanks in the debate.

  13. schvitzatura

    USS Iowa Turret #2 Redux? Was the ghey involved in this 'plosion?

    Overzealous over-ramming and "supercharged" powder bags, what could go wrong?

  14. Mittens Howell, III

    Pretty sure the guy in that pic is playing the role of Obama in Mitt Romney's practice debates.

  15. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I never noticed the bed in that picture before. Twin sized childhood bed in his parent's basement? Definitly never been touched by a woman and Mom changing the sheets doesn't count. (poor mom)

  16. CommieDad

    Having your gun room explode is to the right what burning down your (medical) grow lab by dropping a lit joint into the fertilizer is to the left.

  17. randcoolcatdaddy

    The idea of someone having a gun room capable of that kind of explosion reminds me of when my father first started having signs of Alzheimers and we discovered he was stock-piling dozens of gallons of gasoline in cans in the garage.

  18. HELisforHEL

    Whenever I see this or the Fat Computer Nakedy Guy pic, I think of Mad TV's 'Lowered Expectations' bit.
    Because someone thought this was worthy of capturing in a sexytime way.

    Ugh, must go bleach eyes now.

  19. barto

    I thought home room explosions were confined to the powder room, but every day's a school day, as they say.

  20. pdiddycornchips

    OT but that Asian betty asking to be undressed links to a website for dating women in China. WTF? Sex trafficking is probably not the kind of thing your readers support so why take their ad dollars?

  21. Beach_Bubba_Tex

    And people get upset seeing depictions of Mohammed!? Where's this dude's embassy… I need to know right now.

  22. Gumboz1953

    Some scientists say that we share 98% DNA with the apes. Not trying to imply anything. Or maybe I am.

    1. SorosBot

      People always forget about his role in the later years of Moonlighting, though with that show's drop in quality after Maddie and David slept together I guess that's to be expected.

  23. GregComlish

    As hilarious as the purported premise of this story is, I bet the simply truth is that she was just operating a meth lab in her gun room. Occam's razor, people.

  24. KeepFnThatChicken

    Seems like Fred likes to vote "Nay" in repeated efforts to say "No" to a variety of legis–

    Seriously, the picture is just goddamn distracting. I mean, a stratocaster knock-off and a game controller for Guitar Hero?! It looks like he's about to commit peniside!

  25. MissTaken

    Little known facts: for this gentleman's Christmas card he strikes the same pose, but while wearing a red banana-hammock and has his mom put the Rudulph the Red Nosed Reindeer sheets on the bed. He's a very festive gun owner.

  26. docterry6973

    English country houses all have gun rooms, along with a library and billiard room and a drawing room and a smoking room. Convenient places for Poirot or Miss Marple to assemble the suspects and unmask the killer. I bet it is just like that in Idaho too, which I am told is very nice.

    1. SorosBot

      Oh I know; it was Mrs. Peacock in the library with the candlestick! No wait, it was everybody except Mr. Green, who was really an FBI agent in disguise, and the whole thing was masterminded by Wadsworth the butler who was actually Mr. Boddy himself the whole time.

  27. Goonemeritus

    If only his wife or he were armed at the time of the cowardly room attack they could have held the gun room at bay. It’s not enough to own gun you need to be armed 24-7. Take an AK to bed, shower with a 9mm, bring a rocket launcher to Grandmas for Thanksgiving.

  28. Jus_Wonderin

    I am secure enough in my manhood to know I can carry that look off. I am just not certain how far I could carry it before breaking down like a school girl and dropping it.

  29. Chow Yun Flat

    Amy Wood, the wife of state Rep. Fred Wood, was taken by air ambulance to a Utah hospital

    They could use more than the ACA in Idaho since they don't have hospitals that treat second degree burns.

    1. Guppy

      Building such facilities costs money. It's cheaper to bill patients for ZOMGWTFBBQ transport instead.

  30. BornInATrailer

    Wonkette staff, could you please post another story, any story, so that this pic isn't at the top ever time I update? I'm getting that not-so-refresh feeling.

  31. owhatever

    Storing the gunpowder keg next to the nitroglycerin is no longer recommended. When the oven timer beeps, bad things can happen.

  32. CommieDad

    I can see Idaho out my front window. I need a gun room to protect myself from a mob of angry white men from Hayden. Ok, off to Idaho to buy guns!

  33. ttommyunger

    Cretins like this always seem to have black skivvies (don't ask me how I know this). Is it because of the inevitable skid-mark problem? Survey says: YES!

  34. Living in Joy

    Ok, first the Allen West story and now this visual that I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD! What kind of sadistic freaks are you people? I may go throw up now.

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