Film Sent To Over A Million Voters Explores Pressing Policy Question Of Whether Obama’s Mom Was A Slut

  we heard she has an interracial child too!

Good news everyone! The Right has come to its senses and realized the most pressing question about Obama is not “where is the birth certificate?” (DUH) it’s actually “was Obama’s father the left wing poet and activist Frank Marshall Davis?” and! “did Davis take nudie pics of Obama’s mom that later appeared in Bizarre Life Magazine?”

Pressing questions indeed. The above excerpt is from “Dreams From My Real Father,” a film by right-wing filmmaker Joel Gilbert that argues Obama’s REAL father, poet and left-wing activist Frank Marshall Davis, met Dunham through her father, who was a CIA agent merely posing as a furniture salesman. But wait! There’s more! Davis took pictures of Obama’s mother posing in fetish wear and then sent them to a bunch of men’s magazines.

Bizarre Life Number 9--Or is it??

 
Related video

In the interest of journalism, we contacted Badmags.com (link NSFW) and asked editor Tom Brinkmann what he thought of the pics. His verdict is that the pics in the video (which are also featured on Daily Mail’s site, see link below) are not actually in Bizarre Life #9, and furthermore, the only woman in Bizarre Life Magazine that resembles Obama’s mom is this one:

Not Obama's Mom

And he doesn’t think it’s her. BUT STILL that doesn’t change the fact that Obama’s father might actually have been a left wing poet, which makes Obama communist for some reason. Think that this isn’t important?? Well that’s what they WANT you to think, sheeple.

[Daily Mail]

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About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

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263 comments

    1. Callyson

      I read that as "Right winters have really strange peen collections." Somehow, I think we're both right…

  1. NorthStarSpanx

    Wait a minute, these are vintage photo's. . .you mean to tell me we were a nation of sluts before Obama's mandation to shove birth control pills down our throats?

    1. prommie

      Its well know that Madonna discovered sex in 1987. Before that people just rubbed sticks together.

  2. JudasPeckerwood

    See, this is why we need a robot president — no sticky parentage issues. Go Mittbot!

    1. BoatOfVelociraptors

      Pfft, you think republicans vs democrats is feisty, wait until you get to PC vs Mac, with the libertarian Linux loons egging you on from the side.

  3. UnholyMoses

    Wait a second.

    It says those pics are in "BLAZING COLOR" yet these are B&W.

    Quick — someone VET THE PICTURES!!!111111!!!!11!!!eleven!!!11

    1. Yellerdawg

      It was "4 pages of blazing color", which were all cigarette ads, but you didn't find that out until AFTER you paid $0.95 for the damn magazine and then there was only ONE picture with even little bit of a nipple in it and a bunch of other black and white pictures of women who looked like someone's mother wearing leather and fishnets carrying whips. And then, when you ordered the 'real nudist' magazine from the back you got a bunch of pictures of what looked like someone's grandparents from a half mile away who may or may not have been playing badminton.

      At least that's what I've been told.

      1. UnholyMoses

        "Sorry. You already voted on that comment!"

        Stupid can't-upfisty-more-than-once commenting system …

    2. GregComlish

      I second that. The individuals pictured in this magazine are neither "colored" nor "blazing".

    3. carlgt1

      that's because they used an early version of Adobe Photoshop back then which separated all the layers a la Obama's birth certificate! ;-)

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        "You're mother is sooo corpulent that when she lounges about the mansion, she lounges about the mansion

        *pause*

        Har. Har. Har.

        1. fatbob54

          Your Mother is so unattractive your father had to buy a horse to dance with her at the country club…oh, wait…

      2. Gleem McShineys

        "Your female gendered parental unit is extremely obese, therefore, clever yet illogical wordplay must be used to describe her! Humor program complete."

    1. rickmaci

      Yo momma so ugly when she signed up for an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      And at least two starring "Long Dong Silver" with bit parts by one aspiring actor named Clarence Thomas.

  4. vulpes82

    Only in the fevered imaginations of rabid racist who think "they all look alike" would there be any resemblance to be seen between Obama and Davis.

      1. kittensdontlie

        Davis really isn't that scary, I would have went with Malcolm X for maximum white-scare factor.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      You should upload that shit to Youtube from a McDonald's. And review it for us! How many TruckNutz will it get?

      1. BornInATrailer

        Oh, I'll write some manner of review. I love giving my asinine and utterly non-requested opinion.

  5. Doktor Zoom

    Everyone knows the Commie Gene is dominant.

    (So why do the women have the whips, I want to know…)

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I don't know, but as I have always wanted to be a good commie, I suppose I'm gonna have to go online and get me one of these things. And cause I like smacking people.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            You know me too, too well. That's him, the Promssss. I also made him steal and listen to Jack White all weekend, and then Jack had to go and be a butt at the Radio City Music hall thing – JUST when I was making some head-way.

  6. UnholyMoses

    "Obama’s father might actually have been a left wing poet"

    So wingnuts are convinced that Obama will rule over us all with oppressive, communist, islamofascist … iambic pentameter?

    These fuckers really are all out of ideas, aren't they? I mean, really. They're not even trying any more.

  7. SorosBot

    Considering that Obama barely knew his actual father, and did not know at all anyone the crazed conspiracy theorists claim was really his father, what the fuck difference would it matter who it was? I don't get it.

      1. chicken_thief

        Sort of like how they get wide eyed frantic over his "muzlin-ness" andddddd "but Reverand Wright!!!". I guess it gives the party they are speaking to two options to hate the HNIC as much as they do.

    1. Self-Uploader

      This is because you are thinking LOGICALLY. This is "real-world thinking." You need bizarro-conspiracy world thinking to understand the significance of this. Frank Marshall commie-negro PURPOSELY impregnates naive fellow traveler teen (who poses for dirty pix to both support and bring supporters to the commie cause). They use African student Barack Obama as a cover, thinking this would explain the child's dark complexion without making him an American Negro, and thus he'd be more appealing to white people. (I know, I know. It doesn't have to make sense). They raise him on a steady diet of communism with some CIA new world order stuff thrown in. (I know, I know. But like I said in this bizarro world commie/CIA/Brezinski it's ALL the same, maybe Z. Brezinski was a deep cover mole or something). They get him into Columbia where he is programmed and receives the order to move to Chicago and hook up with terrorists while marrying a well-placed African American attorney (newsflash: They're both really GAY). And then they get him into politics while duping old timey liberals. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

    2. Fare la Volpe

      Because they're trying to make the case that a BLACK MAN corrupted Obama's innocent white mother and produced a horrid mulatto child with her.

      You may have heard this story before in the classic wingnut porn: Birth of a Nation.

  8. veritass

    Somehow, Wonkette got this scoop before my crazy old uncle sent it to me in an email forward. That's really an amazing accomplishment. I'm much better prepared now, and for that I thank you.

    1. Gleem McShineys

      I'm sure your uncle was just about to forward it, he was just running it through spell check first.

      (his penis, that is)

  9. KeepFnThatChicken

    So the over/under here, apparently, is that white people still think all black folks look alike.

  10. ElPinche

    You know you're winning when the other side calls you a commie (nigger) , marxist (nigger), thug (nigger), kenyan (nigger), muslim (nigger), elitist (uppity) homosexual who's mom is a slut.

  11. LastGasp

    CIA agent merely posing as a furniture salesman.

    Oh suuure, because it's well known that spies and other national security threats spend most of the day checking out sofas and Barcaloungers.

    1. chicken_thief

      I thought the CIA agent was a nice touch. For what reason – who the fuck knows?! But ya, let's go with CIA agent. Hired by JFK? Why the hell not?!!! Wearing dresses with J Edgar ? Oh, ya!

      Let's fill in some more details.

    2. docterry6973

      A CIA agent posing as a furniture salesman in Kansas, wasn't it? Not that Kansas doesn't bear some watching. Crazy people out there.

  12. Allmighty_Manos

    Just to note that My Little Pony is my kid's favorite show so now I can never get away with it. Thanks.

  13. orygoon

    Texas Representative Blake Farenthold's (R-stupid) stepgrandmother was a pretty cool Democrat. In Texas. Which makes him–damn., all too typical.

  14. orygoon

    Texas Representative Blake Farenthold's (R-stupid) stepgrandmother is a pretty cool Democrat. In Texas. Which makes him–damn., all too typical.

  15. c1js

    I got one of these DVDs in the mail, OMG! I planned to watch it later for S&G. Can't believe they actually thought sending it to me would be a productive endeavor, but since I'm in Ohio I guess they were desperate. Still having fun Twitter-taunting them about their waste of resources ;)

    1. ThundercatHo

      You got a DVD? Shoot all I get are phone calls and mailings from Americans for Porksterity every damn day.

      1. c1js

        Thank the Lawd I'm not getting that! I get Democratic stuff almost entirely, so this was a special *ahem* treat outa nowhere. And oh yeah, I got the full 95 minute version. LOL that some right-wing sap wasted their donation on little ole moi ;)

        Freedom (except for vaginas) Works was up in my kitchen for awhile when I lived in Oregon, but they finally got lost in the move I guess. Boo hoo…

    1. finallyhappy

      I heard on the radio that Verizon has a problem in some places- but I didn't pay attention to where- sorry

  16. EatsBabyDingos

    I asked Gilbert if he had ever been back to where he was born. When he replied "yes," I said "Tight squeeze, isn't it?"

  17. SmutBoffin

    Was Obama even of Woman born? Perhaps he twas ripp'd untimely from his Mother's womb?!

    NOT MAH PRESIDENT OF CAWDOR

      1. Chet Kincaid_

        That all got changed in the '80s and '90s with the Poetry Slam. Now, snapping means "please stop, you are so goddamned bad," and escalates to hissing and audible groaning.

  18. sullivanst

    I make a habit of not paying attention to the Daily Hate Mail. It serves me well.

    BTW, the first hint that the images claimed to have come from Bizarre Life in fact don't, should have been that copyright claim at the bottom, one presumes that as a published magazine, all images actually in Bizarre Life are copyright controlled and someone else trying to claim such rights would be opening themselves up to a hefty lawsuit toot sweet.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      The only thing I know about the "Daily Mail" is that right wing nutz over on Amazon quote it as a reliable source. Is it the "National Inquirer" of Great Britian? Only the NI sometimes gets the story right?

      Maybe it's the English Wing Nutz Daily?

      1. SorosBot

        It's a bit of both; like Murdoch's The Sun, it's a combination National Inquirer-style gossip rag and NY Post-style right-wing propaganda outfit.

  19. SigDeFlyinMonky

    The desperate mud trolls continue to feed on the moldering money pile collected by the criminally insane wingnut billionaires

  20. Gleem McShineys

    Mitt's opposition-research people are scouring old porn for pictures of Obama's parents.

    So we can definitively say that there are people out there, getting paid big SuperPAC dollars, basically beating off for Mitt Romney.

    JOB CREATOR!

    1. chicken_thief

      As soon as they've scrutinized all existing gay porn they'll start screening straight stuff for Mama Obama.

  21. Tequila Mockingbird

    Joel Gilbert is actually – I'm not making this up – a Bob Dylan impersonator. For the last 20 years he's toured the country doing shitty Dylan covers while whinging into a microphone and looking disheveled. Only in the last few years has he begun doing strange low-budget conspiratorial/propagranda films. One of them, called "Paul McCartney Really is Dead," claims that… um… Paul was killed in a car accident in 1966 and replaced by a lookalike. Yeah. Stream it on Netflix if you have a bottle of Wild Turkey and some brain cells to kill.

    Also, this. Because it's Monday.

      1. doloras

        Funnily enough, I bet he'll be the last Beatle standing, and is fully prepared to whack Ringo to make sure of it.

    1. sewollef

      I also heard that Obama was born naked.

      No-fucking-way! Ok, you're just making shit up now…..

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        Oh, he'll poop his pants alright…once Romney unleashes his game-changer game wining strategy for winning…any day now.

  22. mavenmaven

    "the only woman in Bizarre Life Magazine that resembles Obama’s mom is this one"

    …That's only because all white women look alike.

    1. docterry6973

      Do we know from which of his many wives Mitt is descended? If it was, like, number 5 then Mitt might have some 'splaining to do.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      LOL. Yeah, I tend to think it's all about me. I know it is our internal server but just clicking to do a Google search takes about 30 seconds for the page to draw. Maybe it is me and I have had just a bit toooo much coffee.

          1. HistoriCat

            *shudder*
            10 seconds after clicking – "it's starting to load!"
            30 seconds – "I can see the top of her head!"
            60 seconds – "here comes the nipple!"
            120 seconds- "this picture is out of focus"

  23. LibertyLover

    Sissy F. was indeed a very cool Democrat. But that was before the whole state of Texas went cray cray.

  24. ElPinche

    GIlbert looks like a cross between the guy who played Booger on Revenge of the Nerds and a bag of dog shit.

  25. actor212

    CIA agent merely posing as a furniture salesman.

    Yes. The best place to find Russian spies is in a furniture store on Mercer Island, Washington

  26. HELisforHEL

    Seriously, they have nothing left.
    Fingers crossed that Mittens continues his slide. As long as he keeps talking, and his minions keep producing this ridiculous crap, it should happen.

  27. mindo99

    Can't anyone see the difference between the two women in question's CHINS? Omigod, how stupid are these people?

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      What is that, something someone stole from the costuming department for that John Carter movie?

  28. BaldarTFlagass

    Weird. I just watched a documentary on Netflix this weekend about Bob Dylan, and it was produced by this same "Highway 61 Entertainment." WTF?

    1. SorosBot

      Apparently the filmmaker is obsessed with Dylan and has done a bunch of (unauthorized) documentaries about him. Weird that someone so racist is into a Jewish artist who was a big voice of the Civil Rights movement, but there you go.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Yeah, I noticed there was no actual Dylan recordings used, only music from some "tribute" band, and only 2nd or 3rd tier acquaintances of Dylan's provided comments/interviews. Pretty lame, especially when compared to Scorsese's No Direction Home.

  29. CommieDad

    This is racist ignorant crap. If all you have left is to scare people with this shit, then:

    1) You think Americans are stupid. Most of them aren't.

    2) You're fucking desperate.

    1. Guppy

      You think Americans are stupid. Most of them aren't.

      Even if that were true, why do I have the feeling that they're not the ones that vote?

    1. chicken_thief

      Of course. Because Barry Seotera in Indonesia Moozlin Terror camp for kids. Also, too, went to Pack-a-stan when US citizens were blocked but not really blocked from doing so.

      HE WON'T STOP UNTIL 'MERICA IS ROONED!!!!! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT POTUS OF POET DAD'S DO!!!!

  30. under_score

    I'm not convinced unless that video does one of those morph thingys to show me positive proof of parentage.

    Like when I saw the Alfred E. Newmann & GW Bush one? Totes related.

  31. CrunchyKnee

    LEFT WING POET!!!!!111!!1111one!!!111 OH NOES!!!!!!1

    Get on your Hoverounds and ride, people!

  32. randcoolcatdaddy

    There needs to be more investigation of this vintage porn. That blonde in the first photo looks like J. Edgar Hoover.

  33. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Wake up sheeple! They're both holding their heads at almost the exact same angle!!!1!1!!

  34. BlueStateLibel

    I'm waiting for them to go after Bo, the Obamas' dog. I hear Bo is best friends with the tabby cat in the White House kitchen, for a start.

    1. finallyhappy

      Already did- because he isn't a shelter dog or that the girls don't really have allergies so they didn't need a dog like Bo- and most important, Teddy Kennedy gave them Bo

  35. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Can we skip the Sunday textbook posts and have an in depth series on vintage s&m porn instead?

  36. AddHomonym

    Coming soon: feature film starring Alan Arkin as the fake furniture store owner. "If we're going to fake sell funiture, I want to really fake sell fake furniture."

    1. bikerlaureate

      Bring the President down?
      Well, perhaps a mite offended… but he doesn't seem to stay depressed for long.

      1. Pat_Pending

        Even better, I got a YouTube reply to my comment that the video was stupid:facts are stupid.You= liberal.This shit just writes itself!

  37. rickmaci

    Talk about a fail conspiracy/plot. Obama finally gets to take power and the commies of the world are nearly all gone, save for few holdouts without power.

  38. ndisang67

    It's the RW cottage industry that spunned off Obama since 2008. Apparently some fools get separated from their monies when they see stuff like this…

  39. Chet Kincaid_

    This is old, old shit from 2008-9 — all of it, every detail, down to the phony porn pictures. I'm surprised that a Wonkette writer is writing about it as something new.

    This site is systematically taking apart the whole thing (what a sad commentary that it needs doing): http://barackryphal.blogspot.com/2012/09/joel-gil

    Those porn photos were debunked a few years ago as being photos of Marcy Moore, a well-known '50s-'60s porn model: http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/09/21/alabama-r

    One of the more despicable trailers for this movie features Marcy Moore, a 1950′s pin-up model, who the filmmaker claims is Obama’s mother, Ann Dunham, based on nothing other than a faint physical resemblance. Exotique #2 is the magazine identified as the one in which Obama’s mother appeared, but since the 36 issues of Exotique were published between 1955 and 1959 it seems highly unlikely that Ann Dunham, born in 1942, was the woman in these photos.

    1. Guppy

      I'm surprised that a Wonkette writer is writing about it as something new.

      With HuffPo getting all the sideboob clickies, Wonkett had to do something!

  40. zumpie

    That one dress in front is super cute. I would've totally worn that, with those boots when I was younger. But her hair's kinda fugly.

  41. Calapine

    Wait. So you are saying it's not even a conspiracy theory, but they flat out lie?!

    Shouldn't that be a scandal or something?

  42. Radiotherapy

    Finally, the Wonkette gets a little class. Some fine art magazines.
    / little to no snark.

  43. scorpy1

    From one of the Daily Mail's screen-caps of the site:
    "Mark Davis' yearbook photo…is strikingly similar to Barack Obama's high school photos".

    I suppose they are if you squint really hard and strongly believe that all black people look the same.

  44. Dashboard Buddha

    My mom went a long time after my dad died before she started dating again. And the first dude out of the gate was Jim. Jim was 11 years her junior and even to my 11 year old eyes was a creepy bucktoothed motherfucker. (hey-!). Anyway, my buddy Roger and I were riding past his trailer park when I come up with the great idea of paying Jim a visit. It was a mess (we didn't care…our rooms were worse) and Jim was kinda nice and gave us Coke. I remembered he borrowed a tool that belonged to my brother and I asked if I could get it. He said yah and it was in the back bedroom on the dresser. Entering the room, what should I behold but stacks and stacks of not anything classy like Playboy (for a given value of classy), but piles of those really nasty rags from the early 70s where naked women were synonymous with "beaver shots" and they had black bands across their eyes to hide their identity. It was an eye-opening experience. An experience where, I have wondered lo these many years, when would I use this information.

    And then came Wonkette.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        My uncle had to beat the shit out of him when he threatened my mother. Thank god we went through this shit during the 70s instead of the 90s or we'd have been on the Maury Povich show. We were that kind of family.—

  45. ttommyunger

    I spent two fucking hours on the phone with my disappointingly Right-Leaning Son this morning trying to explain to him that the reason none of these idiotic smears aren't reported in the Media is that THERE IS NOTHING TO THEM. Youth is indeed squandered on the young. In fairness to him, he is stationed in Kentucky, where the Derp is strong, indeed.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      The Derp there goes through perimeter fences and access gates as if the sentries weren't even there.

      1. ttommyunger

        I fear sometimes it lives and thrives within the Perimeter Fence and seeps outward.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  46. Schmegeg

    So she really didn't fly to Kenya? Rather, to a photo shoot. Keep it classy Wingnuts! Any other dead people you want to slander?? Carter again? Oh, right, he's still alive.

  47. Gleem McShineys

    The things you learn from Wonkette!

    In the olden tymes, women's nipples and bathing suit areas used to be strange, really dark and square shaped!

  48. Dashboard Buddha

    Hey…speaking of creepy shit…I took a look at the new folks that are following me. Damn…it's like Briebart is standing right behind me.

  49. Blunderthing

    The Desperate Machine comes to life and begins belching smoke. How many ways are there left to say, "He's a dirty n*gg*r, and he wants to eff your daughters with his ebony devil's c*ck"?

  50. Dashboard Buddha

    CIA agent merely posing as a furniture salesman.

    "The fat man reclines at dusk".

    Wh-what?

    "Ummm, the lever is on the right side."

    What lever?!

    "Errrr, the emperor sits upon the easy chair?"

    Look, I'm I just want to find the hardware department, can you help me?

    "Huh? Oh, yeah…take the elevator one floor down. It's right on your left.

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