So Nancy Pelosi is a Satanic goat-murderer, obviously, and her opponent John Dennis is “not a sacrificial lamb.” Get it??? (It’s because Pelosi’s San Francisco district is about 147 percent “Not Republican.”)
So wily John Dennis delivers a nice jab from the left about how John Dennis would not have voted for indefinite detentions unlike some bloodthirsty warmongers we know! Now all the Occupy people and PETA people can make common cause against the Democrats who are just as bad as Republicans. (NADER 4EVA!) Also there are zombies, and John Dennis talks sense into them, but to us the zombies are way less rad than the Rosemary’s Baby witch coven.
Fuck Herman Cain. Fuck the Demon Sheep. Fuck the daisy ad. This commercial is a goddamn masterpiece.
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WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!1!!!!
Nah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
I assume we all understand a sheep is nothing but a wingtard religion dog whistle?
Typical San Francisco goat murdering Democrat.
Now that you mention it, I have a craving for some goat cheese. Maybe for lunch…
It's yummy in a fetus omelet.
You mean, DEMON-CRAT!!!
Nice of the Republican members of Congress to volunteer as extras.
No member of the Republican Caucus would be in the same room as a goat with his pants still up.
John Dennis approves this message.
Ryan/Dennis 2016!
Let's have Ryan just keep running for shit until he takes down the whole Republican Party, and they have to change their names back to the Whig Party to escape the shame.
And this one is still the champ:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6VnTqpTqvQ
http://www.modernwhig.org/faq/whiggery/2012-presi…
Whigga, please.
Your move, Chupacabra.
W.
T.
F?
That is all.
♫"Mares eat oats/ And Former-House-SpeakerLady's Eat Goats…" ♪
"Help me to beat Nancy Pelosi." = WAR ON WIMINZ!!
Watch Nancy Pelosi Try To Murder A Goat
You should see what Mickey Kaus tried to do to it.
I make a habit of never listening to anyone that has two first names.
Well that's awkward, our twin daughters are named Baldart and Flagass.
Baldart would be a good name for an edgy gallery.
But now I will spend the rest of my day trying not to think of what kind of business should be named Flagass…
A tavern, natch
Petrol station?
Oh, I forgot to say "Present company excepted." Doh!
Larry Craig libelz!!!!
What about two last names? Or one last name and one random word?
You left out, name that is contained within last name (Chris Christie, Tommy Thompson, Erik Erikson).
What about Major Major?
Needz moar demon sheep.
Maybe it was a demon goat which will now kill us all because John Dennis prevented the former Speaker from sending it back from whence it came…
They're flying in on the red-eye.
Blue zombie girl was pretty hot.
He really nailed that debate against ridiculous pretend Nancy.
He is a legend in his own mind….
See! Republicans get it!
I want to see his medical marijuana prescriptions. Cause the 'dude' had to be baked when he thought this up.
Ol' Paul Newman is looking pretty good, for a dead guy. Even looks to have put on a few pounds.
Not bad –but not in the same league as "Bloodsuckers from Outer Space".
Kochsuckers from Outer Space was the sequel, right?
Change the setting to James O'Qweefs dildo boat and slot in Snooki to play Pelosi and I'd watch it.
Wait, since when are there are Republicans in California?
Since Orange County existed?
More pertinently, since when are there Republicans in San Francisco?
There was one at the dog park this morning railing about how trickle down really would work if it wasn't for the greedy people.
Orange County hasn't seceded and changed their name to "West Arizona" yet?
They'd like to, but that would mean having to mow their own lawns
Pfft, that's what prison labor is for. Round up the potheads!
Only until the tour bus leaves.
Since Proposition 13?
Hell, you get in a few dozen miles from the coast, and you might as well be in Oklahoma.
Needz moar Shish keBaba O'Riley.
No animals, politicians or zombies were harmed in the making of this video
However, the arts of script writing, acting and film making were slaughtered.
John Dennis is a father, husband and entrepreneur and has been endorsed by former Vice Presidential candidate Matt Gonzalez. C'mon, you know who that is.
I just wanted everyone to know that before we take the piss out of him.
OK, fire away!
Yeah, but he willfully chose to run as a Republican, which is worth a great deal of criticism all by itself.
Worst parody of the Walking Dead ever.
Needs more pointless fucking about on a farm while absolutely nothing happens.
The pointless fucking is just so I don't demand my money back for watching shitty films. Also too so Lindsay Lohan can still have a *career*.
When is it ever pointless?
"Talk to the hand." Is it 1993 again?
We killed a goat sometimes for easter. Maybe she was killing it because of the drought and she couldn't afford grains. RUMINANT LIBELZ, also.
From his Wiki page:
"Dennis supports gay marriage, opposes continuing the Afghanistan and Iraq Wars, supports legalizing marijuana (he supported California's Proposition 19). His progressive stances on social issues, which are unpopular among some within the national Republican Party, are popular in San Francisco"
Obviously, not a member of the Tea Party wing of the Republican Party. A peace sign, even…
He'd still vote for Boehner for Speaker though. While all politics may be local, it's also true that no politics is local.
You really have to wonder about the few supposedly "moderate" people who still tack an "R" after their name. Surely they have to realize what it is to which they give support when they do that?
Those issues may have been some better points to bring up in SF than just NDAA and zombies.
I said it up-thread, but the problem is that he's running as a Republican. No one is saying he has to run as a Democrat or even a Green, but at least run as an independent or Libertarian or something.
To have those views and then consciously run for office as a Republican shows very bad judgement at the very least. lol
Has anyone seen my hallucinogenic mushrooms anywhere?
No. The colors are too bright for me to see anything.
I see colors with my fingers.
Oh…man…oh…man…this is….beautiful, man….
John can go back to fucking that chicken.
You mean Lindsay Lohan. …."fucking that Lohan", surely?
That goat just hasn't been funny since Dubya broke up the act.
John Dennis is a true defender of the Sheeple.
CRISWELL!
Could the guy who made this make one like if for Romney?
With Goatse.
Yeah, that ad totally does not make this guy look really goofy.
Nothing says "take me seriously" like a B-grade horror movie parody.
Tell that to Nakoula Basseley Nakoula.
Yes, the ad is bad/funny, but Pelosi will beat him with his own dismembered arm.
Made me laugh, dangit.
Dead Alive was better. (an early Peter Jackson movie)
Dude should have just used a lawnmower on the zombies.
Love that movie! But the dinner scene with the pudding always makes me gag. And nothing makes me gag.
Wow, I'd forgotten that was Peter Jackson. Dude should never have been given a budget.
I'm a New Zealander, Peter Jackson went to my high school, and you're absolutely right. But my favourite of his early movies is this.
Pretty high production value for a local political race. I'm impressed.
Looks like they might have waited for the new iPhone to come out before preserving it for posterity. For the better pixel count and all.
Ohhh, I GET IT.
(No. No I don't get it.)
what is with republicans and animal sacrifice ads.
no seriously, wtf?
The animals are symbolic of the middle and lower classes.
I knew that Film Appreciation class I took my senior year of high school would pay off some day!!
Could it be the same instinct that makes closeted gays be publicly homophobic?
Same people, so yeah
If George Romero weren't still alive, he'd be rolling over in his grave. Or crawling out of it, anyway.
I read where the guy who did this is also the same guy that did those He-man Cain ads with the creepy little girl. Sounds about right.
Dude keeps getting work because his uncle (? dad maybe?) is a heavy-weight Repub. Nepotism is a terrible thing.
From the BBC obit of former NYT Owner / Publisher, Arthur Sulzberger :
~ He was a strong believer in family ownership of newspapers.
He once joked: "My conclusion is simple. Nepotism works." ~
People should be pissed about the multitude of NDAA indefinite detention failures.
NEEDZ MOAR JOEL, TOM SERVO, AND CROW T. ROBOT!!!!!!!!!
What about torrrrture?
Flag on the moon, man.
Nothing new here; Pelosi is a proud Catholic.
Ah, isn't the Tridentine Mass beautiful?
Consecrate this.
Don't be fooled. This is just the networks test-marketing the idea of beefing up ratings by staging political debates in satanic dungeons. I like it!
Dennis really knows how to get Pelosi's goat.
Uh, which part of her is her "goat"?
So now that the goat is dead, will the Cubbies finally win the world series?
Sorry, not a black goat. Nancy only sacrifices white things, of course.
Sorry, not a black goat. Nancy only sacrifices white things, of course.
ETA: D'oh, confusing my Cubs curses. Move on, nothing to see here.
Do the Republicans have their own annual movie awards show for best best actor and such? Because that Pelosi impersonator deserves a 'tard Oscar.
Who's to say that goat didn't have it coming?
Dennis for Goatherd!
My daughters, who are members of Nancy's Coven, report the goat in the ad was recovered, ritually sacrificed and served with fava beans. Christine McDonnell wants in.
Has anyone even heard of this guy before this?
I think this is the guy Erick Son Of Erick Erickson was talking about.
At least he didn't try to drive a stake through my Nancy's sweet heart. Even so, I don't think this ad will help him as much as he hopes.
Nancy's pet goat…
So the goat is America? Or maybe the zombies? Or is Dennis John the sacrifice? What does the knife represent? The free market? I DEMAND CLIFFS NOTES!!1!
That's not a very WWJD attitude!
This was an amazing documentary. Surprised the ceremony was in Spanish and not Latin. Nancy must be trying to shore up the latino Satanist vote.
A second viewing does help clear all that up, thanks.
If you wander over to John Dennis' campaign site, you notice that his love of Ron Paul led him to forget until now that he is, in fact, running for office.
When have zombies worshipped anything other than tasty brains?
Silly Nancy, the goat is not a lamb!
"I am not a sacrificial lamb, I'm a protest vote! Get it right!"
Isn't that the student film that Jim Morrison made before he dropped out of film school?
Isn't that the student film that Jim Morrison made before dropping out of film school?
Not many people would attempt a run for Congress based on their reputation as a goat-lover. I applaud Dennis for his courage.
Not many people would attempt a run for Congress based on their reputation as a goat-lover. I applaud Dennis for his courage.
I don't think I'd shake his hand, though.
Mickey Kaus approves!
They eat goats in Kenya, don't they? Hmmm? I think Nancy was simply making lunch for her boss.
This is from The Onion, right?
How does Guantanamo affect job creation? I say, if it helps jobs, she's right to kill the goat (which makes as much logical sense as the detention line).
This really is a masterful piece of delusional cinema. I don't get the zombies, but they're in everything now, so ill let it slide
Agreed, lycans or vampires would have been more believable.
Just inane, and about par for the GOP
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown… the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable goats, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"
what's funny is this guy represents the very rare moderate-liberal in the GOP! So imagine how really crazy the right-wingers actually are, when they're not constrained from going absolutely Galt!
Jeezuz Hussein Kriest!!
Breitbart looks ok for a zombie.
Legitimate goat sacrifice?
Whitaker and Baxter must be just spinnin' in their graves over this one. (Bonus Wonkette Points for knowing the reference)
"Now all the Occupy people and PETA people can make common cause against the Democrats who are just as bad as Republicans."
Yeah, pretty much.
This clown, however, is not the answer.
If we can intelligently argue with Zombies, maybe there's hope for the Tea Party?
shoulda killed the goat first and then the rest of em before blowing his own head off.
That's odd, because goat stew usually only con-con-contains MALES…
I don't see what Dennis' objection is. Ripping open the less powerful and taking their entrails is how libertarianism works.
I can definitely fap to this, but need more than a minute 42 seconds for happy ending. Moar Goat Guts, pleeze!
It's John Dennis! We're saved!!
What a tool. Have fun in obscurity, John Boy.
Umm… Really?
Why is she just holding a copy of The Constitution?
BURN IT ALREADY
Don't forget your goatskin leggings.
To give you some idea of how blue this district is, Cindy Sheehan running as an Indie came in second place with the Republican in an even more distant third in 2008.
That said, I wonder why third parties don't do better in districts this uncompetitive between the two major parties? What I wouldn't give t have at least a Green and a Libertarian in Congress.
BTW, Republicans don't like goat killings, well, not until they've had their way with them, of course.
Thank you for this community service. I actually live in Nancy Pelosi's district and was wondering if anyone was actually running against her since I've see no signs, campaign literature or other ephemera.
Unlike other congressional districts we rarely have a contested race, we just have to settle for highly effective and determined leadership.
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