Do Not Spray Silly String On This Philly Cop, Ladies

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Think spraying Silly String is a victimless crime? WRONG. First, it is environmentally terrible. Second, well there is no second. It is sort of victimless, now that we think about it. Unless you are at Philly’s Puerto Rican Day Parade, in which case you will cold get chased down and punched in the face by a ginormous cop. So now there is a victim after all!

Let us hear it for the Philly PD, who are obviously all well-trained in conflict management and patience and not punching people in the face for getting a little wild with children’s party favors. We hate to think what dude would have done if she’d been all up in his grill with a kazoo.

[NBC]

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149 comments

    1. SorosBot

      Nah, the boxer statue is fine; the problem is we've also got a giant statue of Frank Rizzo, the non-fictional former doucebag racist police commissioner and mayor.

      1. Omophagist

        He wasn't all bad. Remember when he died of a massive heart attack when running for a 3rd term for mayor, clearing the way for Ed Rendell. That was just a fantastic, classy move on his part!

  1. actor212

    She's lucky it wasn't LA or NYC. There'd have been four other cops on her in an instant, not caring who did what to whom, slapping her silly with nightsticks.

  2. chicken_thief

    Holy shit! Dropped her like a young Tyson would have. On the other hand, he can forget trying out for the rodeo because his restraining the limbs could have been timed with a sun dial.

      1. Negropolis

        And, yet, they still hold a disproportionate amount of sworn law enforcement jobs in most of these majority-minority cities. I mean, in Detroit where the population is quite literally 10% non-hispanic white (80% black), white officers make up 34% of the force.

  3. YasserArraFeck

    Good job she didn't use a water pistol – she'd be in jail and a dozen bystanders would be dead or wounded.

      1. sullivanst

        While neither of them strike me as accomplished pugilists, if it came down to a literal fight, my money would certainly be on the guy who lived on the border of Morningside Heights in the early 80s, rather than the guy whose spent his life flitting between manses in various states and considers living in an apartment to be slumming it.

  4. MistaEko

    Dr. Scholl's probably wishing it can walk back that "Your body takes a pounding" line in the commercial intro.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    Aw, he was just feeling the vibe: Giants coming to town and he just knew Vick was going to have a big, turnover-free night.

  6. SorosBot

    If the cop didn't stop that woman, she could have moved on to even worse crimes, like throwing confetti.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      That same cop hospitalized a half-dozen attendees at his wedding ceremony for throwing rice.

      1. SorosBot

        But it's mostly birdseed these days, all because of the urban legend that rice will explode in birds' stomachs and kill them (it doesn't).

      2. snarkycomments

        According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, the cop's name is Lt. Jonathan Josey. He's been assigned to desk duty until the issue blows over and he's allowed to get back to his normally assigned job of sucker-punching women.

    2. actor212

      I hope for his sake the Eagles don't win the Super Bowl this year, or he could go on a psychotic rampage if they throw a ticker tape parade downtown

  7. LastGasp

    In the cop's defense, he probably thought he was being pepper-sprayed. And, as we all know, only cops get to burn people's eyes out with pepper spray.

  8. el_donaldo

    Give the cop some credit. Maybe he's allergic to strawberries or something and he was afraid the silly string was scented. Plus hippies = terrorists. C'mon, people.

  9. CrunchyKnee

    In Denver they would have waited a week, then executed a no-knock warrant at her house ending in her death.

  10. Lascauxcaveman

    Cop isn't following Capone's Code: They come after you with silly string; you go after them with super soakers. They tickle one of your guys in the tummy; you pinch one of their guys on the funny bone.

  11. SorosBot

    Now in my dealings with the Philly cops, they've been very friendly and polite to me.

    But then I'm white.

    1. Negropolis

      That's why I've always advocated swearing in wild animals as police. I mean, what's the difference, right? Well, besides the fact that even Montecore knew when to let fucking go, already.

      Hey, you asked for it.

    1. Blueb4sinrise

      Check with the replay official. Caption at the NBC-Philly site:

      "….appears to show a woman being struck by a police officer"

    2. actor212

      It was a stunningly good punch, worthy of a professional fighter vying for a championship.

      It's a pity she was a civilian. And unarmed. And a woman. And half his weight classification. And not expecting a boxing match.

  12. valgal2342

    Me thinks Mr. Policeman may have something worse than silly string coming his way. I hope so. That was stone cold.

  13. James Michael Curley

    He's an officer and a fairly high ranking one if the braid on his cap is an indication.

  14. mille derps

    A protester with a kazoo
    Is a fearsome police threat, nu?
    But it don't mean a thing
    If it ain't got that String
    Getting Silly all over you.

  15. Typodong3

    Im thinking shes going to make a mighty night bundle of cash off of this assault. That douche needs to be dropped off at gitmo and sillystring boarded. Asshole.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      One would hope so, but they'll probably promote him to a desk jockey position.

      Putting the beat down on the wrong person just gets you pulled from the beat, is all.

    2. Negropolis

      Tell that to the police union, the only union any city administration ever seems to be afraid of.

  16. Redrighthand

    I've been to a few Puerto Rican pride parades the left me wanting to punch people. Actually that extends to a few other parades as well. ACTUALLY now that I think of it I just hate parades…

  17. weejee

    Guess Philly cops aren't string theory fanz, and are behind using Genesis to unite general relativity with quantum mechanics. Silly cops, just so 3D.

  18. docterry6973

    As a Delaware Valley (but not Philly) resident, I have made it my policy never to do anything to Philly cop that he might find unpleasant. They are very sensitive to this sort of thing.

  19. fartknocker

    I've met a few police officers over my career whose behavior was nothing more than a gym teacher with authorization to use force.

    1. Baconzgood

      I always say that the reason that we have so many cops in this country is to give all the high school bullies a job because they wern't good enough to play college football.

  20. Mojopo

    This guy must be a real blast at children's birthday parties. Choices, choices… Should he beat his children instead of the pinata, or should be beat his wife for buying the thing?

  21. Indiepalin

    Headline of the day (Yahoo):

    "Japanese Explosion May Lead to Diaper Shortage"

    This is bad news for Sen. David Vitter (R) LA

  22. WhatTheHeck

    Unleashing the silly string from its container created a disturbance in the Philly time/space continuum which led to the Empire striking back.

  23. SnarkOff

    You know, if everyone else at the rally had also been armed with Silly String, they could've taken down this rogue shooter without getting the cops involved.

  24. Mojopo

    I'll forgive him if he wears a sandwich board that says "I assaulted a woman for spraying me with Silly String" and marches up and down a busy street during rush hour. No weapons, no uniform.

  25. prommie

    Its fucking Philadelphia, for christ's sake. This is a surprise? fucking philly is just the meanest place on earth, has been forever. There's no reason to go there, except to pay tribute in your way to Ben Franklin.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Isn't that the place where they booed Santa?
      To be fair, I think they booed Sarah Palin at a hahkey game too.

      1. SorosBot

        In 19-fucking-68. And yet, while this was before the majority of people alive today were born, everyone still insists on bringing that shit up. Everyone, that was long, long ago, it doesn't matter any more, just drop that fucking bullshit.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Meh. Texas still gets a bad rap for Dealey Plaza. And Buffalo for McKinley. Deal with it; take comfort in the Liberty Bell.

        2. Negropolis

          I think that's just the cherry on top. Philly has a reputation for being boorish for other (more legitimate) reasons.

    2. FakaktaSouth

      I like Philly today. I like it a real lot. The airport sounds fantastic. Someone's gotta show me that Ben Franklin grave-thing.

  26. delaney_blom

    I feel pretty
    Oh, so pretty.
    I feel pretty and silly and witty
    And I pity
    Victims of police brutality.

  27. ChrisM2011

    Looks more like some other guy flung something at the cops and they beat the girl down for it. Wonder if she'll get an apology… Naaaaaahhh.

    1. miss_grundy

      She'll get more than an apology after she lawyers up and has members of the Puerto Rican community come out and picket police headquarters. And if they send out enforcers to disperse the crowd, they will really have their asses handed to them.

  28. ElPinche

    Reminds me of Bill Burr's EPIC on-stage rant on Philadelphia (http://vimeo.com/24908938) :

    "What do you want? Is this what you want? Bunch of fucking losers. Fucking Rocky is your hero. The whole pride of your city is built around a fuckin guy who doesn’t even exist. You got fuckin Joe Frazier is from there but he’s black so you can’t fuckin deal with him, so you make a fucking statue for some 3 ft fuckin Italian you stupid philly cheese-eatin fucking jackasses. I hope the cheese melts your faces off. All of you collectively SUCK a FUCKIN DICK. Fuckin boo me 9 hrs. into a fuckin show. You and your fuckin Donovan McNabb shirt. I hope he snaps both his fuckin ankles the first goddamn game. I hope you go 0-15. I SAID SUCK A DICK"

  29. CommieLibunatic

    Wonkette, it's too early in the day for this. Not like there's a good time of day for this, but still.

  30. Allmighty_Manos

    guess my hilarious plans to glitter bomb prank the next Philly PD fife and drums parade will be put on hold.

  31. Beowoof

    How long before law enforcement starts asking for a ban on cell phone video cams. They are being caught pulling so much shit.

  32. sati_demise

    Fuck that fucking fucker. Lets see him take on someone of his own weight class & see how it goes? Cowardly coward cold cocks lady for no reason, he has his rage on.

  33. BZ1

    Lt. Josey once said. “That’s what a lot of people forget, the humanistic side of being a cop.” That's right, punching a woman in the face is his humanistic side.

  34. mavenmaven

    Put him in a cell with the mace spraying cop, they'd probably have fun beating each other up.

  35. prommie

    We owe him at least a drive-by and a wave. He's right by the Ben Franklin Bridge, what a coincidence, huh?

  36. HarryButtle

    Why are all my comments being deleted by the admin this morning? All I did was make a Mumia Abu-Jamal joke.

    I didn't threaten anyone with skullfucking or say the tard word or anything!

  37. ttommyunger

    That sort of shit can get you shot up in lots of jurisdictions. She has to have a really small brain to try it and he has to have a really small dick to punch a woman. If one decides to arrest a woman who is combative (and I have), it can be accomplished easily without striking the person. Cops today lack physical fitness, training in hand-to-hand combatives and as a result, self-confidence.

  38. aklibtard

    The real fucked up thing is that she didn't even do it. It was that guy behind her. You can see her turn around because it hit her too. She just happened to have a can of the stuff in her hand. Obviously Philly's finest decided to hit first and ask questions later. I swear to God cops are just high school bullies that have found a way to make it their profession.

Comments are closed.