is acme corp violating un sactions?

Netanyahu: Iran Almost Capable Of Building A Cartoon Bomb

Don't worry, it's just going to shoot out a little flag that says KABOOMIsraeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has an MBA and worked for a consulting firm before getting involved in Israeli politics, so he knows a little something about livening up a boring presentation with graphics. Unfortunately the fuddy-duddies at the U.N. nixed his innovative PowerPoint idea, or maybe their projector didn’t have the right port for him to plug his laptop into (Thunderbolt is the new hotness, guys, get with the program), so he had to use this drawing of a comical cartoon bomb, of the sort that Wiley E. Coyote would use on the Road Runner, instead. If you were the underling tasked with Israeli U.N. presentation graphic design, what icon would you have used? Some suggestions, after the jump!

WheeeeHow about a V-2 rocket? It’s very iconic, with the fins and all. Plus it’s much more vertical than the cartoon bomb, which means it’s better for use as an impromptu uranium enrichment-measuring bar graph. And it was invented by actual Nazis, which really adds an extra protection-of-the-Jewish-people zing to the image.

just keep adding them in there

They could also Photoshop this classic picture from 2008, in which the Iranian government already Photoshopped in extra missles to make their missile launch more scary looking. Each extra missile represents another 10% more uranium enrichment. Plus it will teach the Israelis and Iranians that sometimes they have the same PR goals!

He's wacky!Or maybe the problem is that the Bibi’s bomb wasn’t cartoonish enough? Perhaps we should introduce a wacky, bumbling character named Kaboom! (translation into Hebrew and/or Farsi pending) who would represent the Iranian nuclear program, spouting anti-Semitic rants and getting into hijinks. “Hey, Zionist filth, I’m almost to the 90% level … whoooops, another one of my scientist friends just got assassinated! Wha-hey!” “THAT’S OUR KABOOM!”

Meanwhile, Raytheon is working on a Water-Based Bomb Wick Dousing System, which will be marketed to interested governments at a reasonable eight-digit price. [Guardian]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

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167 comments

        1. Shypixel

          Oh, I didn't know we were using "joking" as a euphemism…

          In that case, I too have an issue with people "joking" about WWIII…

        1. Shypixel

          Are they crippled *Black* Italian Midgets?

          Because I have a TON of black jokes that need an outlet. Been bottled up too long here in post-racial 'Merika.

      1. actor212

        Fuck, if you told me there was a nuke headed over to NYC right now, I'd be on here commenting about urban renewal, waiting for the flash outside my window

    1. gullywompr

      With such a serious situation poised, maybe Netanyahu should have been a little more professional with his presentation, no?

    2. KeepFnThatChicken

      Man, wait… don't get me wrong, but if Israel jumps first and starts bombing Iran, Obama goddamn well better step back and assess.

    3. Typodong3

      The only joke here is that Netty is desperately trying anything he can think of to START that WW3. Cant you see the desperation in his eyes? Its like hes on a last, desperate schedule or something…

    4. Negropolis

      Isn't that cute. You actually think the world would get involved while Israel turns Iran to glass. Adorable.

      Glad to see you've already bought the hype. WWIII, my ass. Call me when China has its finger on the button, m'kay? Thanks.

    1. WhatTheHeck

      At what point do you draw the red line when a Palestinian youth pulls back on his slingshot, before he releases that rock on that tank? When he puts the rock in or when he starts pulling back on the rubber?

    1. fuflans

      when i was a wee miss fuflans and the acting bug was beginning to take hold, i informed my parents i wanted to be natasha when i grew up.

      only when i matured did i realize i actually wanted to be cruella de ville.

  1. BerkeleyBear

    Jon Stewart nailed it (as per usual) – "Bibi, if you need to know what a nuclear bomb looks like, go check the basement."

  2. Lascauxcaveman

    Holy smokes! I had no idea the Iranians possessed such advanced technology! And the fuse is already lit!

    Bomb them now Mr. President! For the love of all that is good and holy, bomb them now, before it's too late!

  3. NorthStarSpanx

    The moment he took a dinner with Sarah and Todd Palin in Israel is the moment I lost respect for Bibi as a statesman.

  4. Oblios_Cap

    Nettin-Yahoo is just itching for a war. Iran's been about 2 years away from getting a nuclear weapon since 1986 according to the neocons.

    1. Negropolis

      What's worse is that our own neo-cons have been itching for a war with Iran since the Revolution, so the talk never quite ever dies.

      Nettie-pot knows exactly what he's doing, he's trying to get our neo-cons screaming murder so that he can force the president's hand. They tried getting Bush into Iran, and as much as I hate Bush, even he wasn't dumb enough to take that bait.

    1. MissTaken

      Nah, with the sanctions they can't afford red toner cartridges anymore. The Iranian bombs are pure black and white now.

  5. rbdavis3

    Slim Pickens riding the bomb at the end of Dr. Strangelove, with the cowboy hat representing the last 10 percent.

    1. SorosBot

      Great now you're the one sticking songs in my head. And yay for more p-ness. Easy as one, two, three. Or simple as do re mi. ABC, one, two, three, baby, you and me girl!

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Hey, don't give Bibi shit about his graphics — for a dire warning of an imminent threat given by a neocon, that's an entirely appropriate picture. It should be taken with requisite seriousness.

  7. Generation[redacted]

    Just wait until Iran reads the fine print on their new bomb: "Warning: not effective on Road Runners."

    Also, I hear Iran's economy is hovering next to the big cliff of sanctions and they're about to look down.

  8. spends2much

    Did he make explosion sounds like someone playing Battleship? Also, that comb-over is positively Trumpesque.

    1. MosesInvests

      Yup. Though to be fair, he's much more articulate. But yeah, the dumbass son of a famous family who made good.

    1. BornInATrailer

      Even with the popularity of that vid, I don't think enough people will up-fist this in the manner it so richly deserves.

      1. gullywompr

        Sorry Inga, I didn't realize you were feeling so left out. The invitation to join us "you people" is always open.

  9. zumpie

    Another quality explosive by Acme Inc. We thank Bibi for his business, our base market of coyotes hunting birds was a bit limited.

  10. SorosBot

    And why would Iran want a nuclear weapon anyway? I mean it's not like politicians from two nuclear armed nations are constantly making threats to bomb them just for the hell of it and they might want to have the means to deter those threats or anything.

    1. redarmyzombie

      I mean after all, it's not like North Korea hasn't been threatened by anyone since THEY got the bomb.

    2. Negropolis

      I can't believe people don't get this. The Iranian regime is a terrible one, but their quest for the bomb is not rocket science (well, it is, actually). Folks don't seem to remember that they didn't really start shifting this program into high gear untl Dubya pushed them into the "Axis of Evil", which fed right into the regimes cynical hands and which allowed their nutjob president to be elected in the first place. There would have been no Mahmoud without Dubya.

  11. Abernathy

    Surely, it would be a good idea for the US to follow this guy off the cliff at top speed. What could go wrong?

  12. DerrickWildcat

    When I look at the picture, all I think is if that Convenience Store gets 500 more bucks in donations they will have reached their goal of helping to cure Juvenile Diabetes.

  13. Jus_Wonderin

    Forget about that Acme Bomb. I want that cool ability to hang in mid air, after stepping off a cliff, then have my body stretch as I begin to fall. And, of course, I want to be in the next episode the whistle poof on to the canyon floor below.

    Can i haz that?

  14. HempDogbane

    Bibi has a pocket version of this evidence and if Obama would have had the sense to invite him over he would have shared it with him. Take your briefings, Obama !

  15. miss_grundy

    Yep, at least Mitt said so and then Bibi tried to deny it. But Bibi would love to have Mitt in the Oval Office because he could then have the neocons push into another war, in which Amuricans would fight, 'cause I don't see Bibi sending any troops in….

  16. TavariousChinaSmith

    Translation of Ahmadinejad's speech to the UN:
    You have no chance to survive. Make your time.

    Translation of Netanyahu's speech to the UN:
    Somebody set us up the bomb!

  17. BornInATrailer

    More original than the thermometer, but that really is a terrible fundraising placard.

    Just 10% more donations and Iran will be able to send the kids to camp in Afghanistan.

  18. docterry6973

    It's surreal that Bibi would bring a comic graphic into his discussion of so serious a topic. it reinforces my theory that I am really in a coma and just hallucinating all of this. I think it looks like the bombs in Spy vs. Spy, the old Mad Magazine comic, by the way.

  19. decentcitizen

    Bibi's beside himself. He has never had such a difficult time persuading an American president to go to war to advance Israel's interest at the expense of its own. It's almost as if Americans have realized Israel's agenda and America's conflict in terms of professed policy. If this persists, finding a peaceful two-state solution may be the only option left.

  20. carlgt1

    when I saw it I thought it was one of those charitable donation "thermometers" — i.e. "this filled in red line shows how much welfare the US has given Israel"…..

  21. DemonicRage

    Was thinking about this as the day wore on and after reading all comments. Then started wondering: does Bibi Netanyahu have a Giuliani-style hair comb-over, so I went to Google and Googled the question: Does Bibi Netanyahu style his hair in a comb-over. Sure enough, there was a story from Heretz, the Liberal Israeli newspaper, confirming that, indeed he does. Can we really go all-out in supporting the ideas of an individual vain enough to style his hair in an early Giuliani-era, Zero Mostel in "The Producers" comb-over?

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