the professor and mary anne

Scott Brown: Did I Mention Elizabeth Warren Said She Is Indian?

Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown has a second ad out accusing Elizabeth Warren of being totally Indian or something — we can’t remember quite what the accusation is since we’re still a little gobsmacked that in The Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twelve, someone in the US of A is specifically running a campaign based on someone’s skin color with his own mouth instead of, like, Teabagger signs and anonymous robocalls. There must be some kind of polling showing that this attack is working, right? Somewhere? Because otherwise, continuing to beat the issue when the only person it’s hurting is you … well, that would be something Scott Brown would do probably! (WHAT WE ARE SAYING IS HE IS NOT VERY BRIGHT.)

Anyway, Scott Brown found like five people to say they are mad at Elizabeth Warren for being a total lying liar who got “caught.” (She did not get caught.) (Only Scott Brown’s staffers “got caught.”) And we are pretty sure without any evidence whatsoever that all those people are Scott Brown staffers, especially that second guy; he probably runs the superPAC and is secretly banging Scott Brown’s wife.

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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          1. Lascauxcaveman

            I really Hopi this swings the polls further toward Warren. This could be the Seminole moment of Brown's final undoing.

  1. Barbara_

    What an asshole! Ugh, I am thinking about going back to bed for the rest of the day with a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

    1. valgal2342

      It's foggy and gloomy here today so that sounds like a great idea! Soft bed, good book, ice cream! Oh well, back to pulling wallpaper off and washing down walls since my outdoor photo shoot got rescheduled.
      Oh, and Scott Brown is not just an asshole, he's a stupid asshole.

    1. IceCreamEmpress

      I wish that were true. He may be snatching defeat from the jaws of victory with this nonsense—I hope he is—but right now my hope is that the Republicans in Massachusetts will just stay home out of their hatred for Mittens, and that Warren will cruise in on Bammerz's coattails.

  2. Terry

    I'm trying to decide if Brown's campaign really feels that this is all they "have" on Warren or are they that flippin' stupid. I guess he can't run on his record, though, really.

    1. noodlesalad

      I've heard they are also going to go with the "by the way, Elizabeth Warren is a smart woman who occasionally speaks her mind" attack, just to ensure they have the dumb white male vote locked down.

      1. SorosBot

        Hell, during that debate he kept calling her "professor" in a tone that made it clear he meant it as an insult. How fucking willfully stupid do you have to be to consider "professor' an insult and not a compliment?

        1. noodlesalad

          That drove me fucking crazy. I was all set to begrudgingly maybe think the guy was a halfway decent person, being a new resident of the Bay State and having heard rumors of his moderate-ness and friendly-ish-ness but, my god, what an enormous jackass.

        2. weejee

          Is Brownie working on some subtle factoid here? Like has he got some inside scoop (Ben & Jerry's, obvs) on how many pre-frontal lobotomies were performed this year in Massachoosetts

        3. BerkeleyBear

          Not only that but making it out like professors at a school with a huge endowment are somehow parasites because they make good money and students who go to DeVry have to take out massive loans they can't pay back. The man was trying his damndest to turn a string of non-sequiters and crypto-insults into a string of pearls.

    2. MacRaith

      He's actually trying to run as a Democrat. He has a lot of ads with assorted people saying "I'm a Democrat, and I support Scott Brown", and a few more of Brown himself saying "My first vote in the Senate was for a Democratic jobs bill." The R-word is never mentioned in any of his ads.

        1. MacRaith

          Don't know, I wasn't living in Massachusetts then. It wouldn't surprise me, though.

          By the way, if Obama happens to lose North Carolina by two votes or less, my wife and I will abjectly apologize for moving before the election. I honestly feel a little guilty about that. But in the long run, I think our votes are better spent on Warren in Massachusetts, because Obama can probably lose NC and still win the election, and he'll need Warren in the Senate.

        2. IceCreamEmpress


          His posters and yard signs are always blue, too, both this time and last time.

          Nobody ever runs on being a Republican in Massachusetts, except when they're running for governor and then it's all "You need a Republican to balance out the 90% Democratic state legislature" and I admit I fell for that with Bill Weld BUT NEVER AGAIN.

    3. BoatOfVelociraptors

      Well, when your debate starts off with "40 years ago you checked the wrong box on a college application form, professor.", ya got nothin.

  3. MacRaith

    There are a couple of lines in that ad that are just deliciously ironic: "When you get caught, you need to come clean," and "We already have enough people in Washington that will say anything. Don't need one more."

    That's true, we don't. So don't vote for Brown. Or Romney, while you're at it.

  4. noodlesalad

    Scott Brown is fearlessly shedding the "potentially likeable moderate dumbass" candy shell to reveal his "abrasive, stupid conservative asshole" nougat center. Hey, it's working for RMoney, right? Right?

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    Since when do Republicans give a fuck if a candidate is a liar? They certainly don't seem to give a shit when it's one of their candidates.

  6. Mittens Howell, III

    "We already have enough people in Washington who will say anything, don't need one more."

    That last line's a ZINGER, they should emphasize it with a tomahawk chop and some war whoops.

  7. BornInATrailer

    Careful, Scotty. Too much focus could backfire. Just think what an October surprise in the form of genealogical documentation of her Cherokee ancestry would do.

  8. SorosBot

    And to think, Brown had a reputation as one of the more reasonable Republicans; but now he's gone full racist and blown that.

  9. mavenmaven

    The last line in the ad should go over well with the Romney-Ryan campaign: "we already have enough people in Washington willing to say anything"

  10. PsycWench

    "And we are pretty sure without any evidence whatsoever that all those people are Scott Brown staffers"

    Wonder how many Scott Brown staffers were asked and got "um, no, I'm pretty camera-shy, you better ask someone else, look over there!"

  11. Yellerdawg

    <New Scott Brown Ad>

    "Professor Warren's release of her plan to bring jobs and prosperity to Massachusetts is just her latest attempt to distract voters from her race. Vote Scott Brown! No plan, but I know what color I am."

  12. Freewayblogger

    "And furthermore, my opponent was born in the wagon of traveling show and her mother used to dance for the money they'd throw!"

  13. Hera Sent Me

    How could the guy who seemed like a natural campaigner in 2010 be reduced to running on the slogan "She don't look Injun to me" in 2012?

    Maybe Teabaggers are right. DC rots your brain.

  14. Incitefully_Joe

    And we are pretty sure without any evidence whatsoever that all those people are Scott Brown staffers, especially that second guy; he probably runs the superPAC and is secretly banging Scott Brown’s wife.

    But especially that fourth guy, who looks like Scott Brown personally dressed him this morning.

  15. Peckerwood_Pete

    Cmon Wonkette…… your starting to publish more stories on Scott Brown/Elizabeth Warren than Yahoo News publishes on the Kardashians!

  16. KeepFnThatChicken

    Yes, as all white men know, you really can't trust those fuckin' Indians.

    Wait, strike that. Reverse it. Elizabeth Warren is saying you should not trust white men.

  17. SorosBot

    Just calling something a lie doesn't make it not true; Warren is part native American, and so claiming she "lied and got caught" is a complete lie because she was telling the truth, you idiot Brown, you lying liar who lies about lying.

  18. belmontreport

    If this works, I get to just give up, right? Like sweatpants everyday, cookie dough and wine for breakfast, watching Buffy episodes on Netflix instead of having relationships kind of give up. I feel closer to that every single day.

  19. Jus_Wonderin

    Maybe I am not tuned in, but this is just silly. Really, really silly. Scott Brown, shame on you!!! Go away!

  20. chicken_thief

    "…especially that second guy; he probably runs the superPAC and is secretly banging Scott Brown’s wife. "

    Scott prolly knows this is happening, and in fact, participates. Some have reported that there is role playing with the wifey dressed in gingham, being "raped" by the bad injun staffer and cowboy Scott comes to the rescue. But just a little late…. Cause money shot.

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  21. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Wait, Elizabeth Warren says she's Native American just because she has Native American ancestors? But that would be like my mixed race children claiming their dad is asian or something! (NB: they don't look asian.)

    1. IceCreamEmpress

      She said she was Native because that was her family lore. She actually doesn't know which of her ancestors were Native.

      I mean, yeah, Scott Brown is an asshole, but I think people are kind of missing the point of his ads. He's not saying "Don't vote for Elizabeth Warren because she's Native"; he's saying "Don't vote for Elizabeth Warren because she's Pretendian."

      Which is a pretty dick move in my opinion, because she was operating in good faith if on limited information with all that stuff. Also every white person in Massachusetts firmly believes they have an Indian Princess ancestor in their heritage way far back (and lots of the black people actually are eligible for tribal affiliation with the various Wampanoags and Pequots and other Native groups), so I think it's a pretty dumbass strategy.

      The white people of Massachusetts have a sentimental attachment to local Native nations, because they were polite enough to die off in large enough numbers so that they had to stop killing us by the turn of the 19th century, and also Squanto and the first Thanksgiving, and casinos. The average Scott Brown voter thinks casinos are awesome, and feels a deep spiritual kinship with Native culture from his days as a Webelo. This is not a wise strategy.

  22. LibertyLover

    Perhaps Scott thinks that if he keeps beating a dead horse something, something.

    But you can lead a dead horse to water but you can't make it vote…..(unless it is registered by Nathan Sproul)

    1. MacRaith

      If you lead a horse to water and shove a hose down its throat, can you make it drink?

      Brown: "Yeah. I've tried it."

      (With apologies to Scott Adams.)

  23. Abernathy

    "We already have enough people in Washington that will say anything."

    What do you mean "we," white man?

    (Although, yeah, I think this guy was actually talking about Scott Brown.)

  24. LibertyLover

    Here, Scott… Try to grasp this straw. Nope, try again. You missed it again. Try again… dang, you're not very good at this are you?

  25. decentcitizen

    You know this is the silliest political ad I think I've ever seen. I think it's trying at the same time to harness white anxiety about affirmative action while taking the contradicting positions that Warren is Indian but also she lied about being Indian to gain some kind of advantage. (Disclosure: decentcitizen is part Indian and also from OK- there is no advantage to being Indian). Whatever imagined advantage you get from being Indian is more than offset by the real discrimination you experience from being Indian. BTW, actual Indians refer to themselves as Indian, not Native Americans.

  26. Doyle_Hargraves

    It'd be kinda funny if it wasn't on every five minutes during my nightly syndicated Family Guy bender. Thanks CW-Boston.

  27. ttommyunger

    Weak chin? Check. Skin beard? Check. Pasty complexion? Check. Bad teeth? Check? Cheap hair-cut? Check. Sold-out soul? Check. This one will go far, my friend….

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