Gentleman Scholar Todd Akin Laments Claire McCaskill’s Loss Of Ladydom

by Jesse Taylor

where's your spaghetti now, senator?

Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin is back in the Missouri Senate race … because he never left it, son.

Having weathered the storm caused by the liberal media pretending he thinks vaginas are washing machines for rape sperm (truth: he thinks they are car washes for rape sperm), Todd Akin now has to figure out how to appeal to lady voters once again.

Condescending sexism should do the trick quite nicely!

[A] new comment isn’t likely to help his efforts to appeal to women voters: Akin noted that his opponent, Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill, was more “ladylike” during the 2006 campaign.

“I think we have a very clear path to victory, and apparently Claire McCaskill thinks we do, too, because she was very aggressive at the debate, which was quite different than it was when she ran against Jim Talent,” Akin told the Kansas City Star. “She had a confidence and was much more ladylike (in 2006), but in the debate on Friday she came out swinging, and I think that’s because she feels threatened.”

If we were Claire McCaskill (or a lady), we would actually be offended more by this than by the “legitimate rape” comments. At least the legitimate rape comments made lady parts into something with superheroic, magical abilities. A vagina with the ability to stop a crime – well, part of a crime – from happening as it happens? You ladies could have gone to your OB/GYN, who would naturally be Ron Paul, and said, “Please inspect my delicate Avenger.” Do you know what we would give to pee out of Captain America???

Instead, Senator McCaskill just gets shoehorned into a hoary old sexist box that doesn’t allow her to do anything put smile politely and serve cookies as an insane man rambles in her face. The only superhero that reminds us of is Aquaman before he got the hook hand, and at that point, you’re not even really a superhero, you’re just an animal-obsessed schizophrenic who couldn’t make the Olympic swim team.

[National Journal]

 
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{ 224 comments }

Barbara_ September 27, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Did he call her a "hussy?"

HogeyeGrex September 27, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I imagine that within two weeks he'll go with "slut."

Callyson September 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm

"It makes her a prostitute!"

DemmeFatale September 27, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Please.
Not a hussy.
A Jezebel.

sewollef September 28, 2012 at 8:28 am

Er, I think you misheard, I believe he was asking about her pussy. Must be his accent.

actor212 September 28, 2012 at 9:20 am

Needs moar wife-beater shirts.

BaldarTFlagass September 28, 2012 at 9:21 am

A brazen hussy.

Boojum September 27, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Missouri: The "Blow Me" State.

coolhandnuke September 27, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Akin's new slogan: Missouri loves company.

Boojum September 27, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Oh sure, I go for the cheap slogan/blow job joke. You do the pun double entendre.

coolhandnuke September 27, 2012 at 6:37 pm

At least they'll get your joke in Branson. Maybe.

mille derps September 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Ladylike? So she leaves her pinky up when drinking tea?

weejee September 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm

She should put her pinky in Akin's eye. That would be a ladyfinger we could all get behind.

mille derps September 27, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Hey Todd! How'd ya like a nice finger sammich?

Callyson September 27, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Only when it's mixed with a shot of Jack Daniels.

kittensdontlie September 27, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Was she not swinging her ladylike parts around as much??

SavageDrummer September 27, 2012 at 8:42 pm

That's pretty much the only way I know if I'm talking with a lady or not…

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 10:37 pm

She does it when passing legislation…with votes!

Mmmm…ladyfingers…

MaxNeanderthal September 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Someone was hiding behind the door during Biology class…

coolhandnuke September 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Everything Akin learned and didn't learn about biology came from "Behind the Green Door."

finette_ September 27, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I think Max means our own dear Jesse, actually, seeing as lady-peeing and rape shutdowns occur in entirely different departments. (Er, NSFW. And I just realized where Today's Youth probably go to find dirty pictures that escape their schools' filters.)

Dudleydidwrong September 27, 2012 at 8:34 pm

If Marilyn Chambers came up behind him and said, "Boo!" Akin would shit his drawers and descend into a little heap on the floor.

DerrickWildcat September 27, 2012 at 5:25 pm

My professional opinion on all this hub-bub is that the GOP have given up on Romney and have shifted their focus on the Senatorial races. This is why the GOP have done a 180 and are now supporting Akin.
Oh, and Birds rock man! Totally rock!

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm

where is our friday posting hmmmm? some of us have a huge annual event this weekend and will not be available for posts tomorrow.

sullivanst September 28, 2012 at 8:53 am

I was gonna go with "Pics or GTFO", but sure, you just had to go and be polite about it so now I'd look bad if I said that…

mille derps September 27, 2012 at 5:40 pm

So do the Byrds: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

(Do we get a new bird pic on Friday?)

DerrickWildcat September 27, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I'll throw something up, but sorry, gotta do it tomorrow. It's nearly bed time for me.

DerrickWildcat September 27, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Ok, real quick, but it's not a bird. http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/4894552

emmelemm September 27, 2012 at 5:54 pm

AWE-some!

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Nice!

bobbert September 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm

That's like the dollar bill trick, right?

mille derps September 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Kewl! I don't know how that turtle can stand it, though- looks like a ticklish situation to me.

TootsStansbury September 27, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Wow. What a great photo. I love it even though it isn't a bird.

Designer_Rants September 27, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Holy shit! That's a good'un.

102415 September 27, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Wow! thanks!

Dudleydidwrong September 27, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I think they're just good friends. Aren't they?

ProgressiveInga September 27, 2012 at 8:40 pm

How do you get so much perfection in one little shot???

BlueStateLibel September 27, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Awesome… what a cool shot.

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 11:08 pm

wow. nature imitating romney and obama.

viennawoods13 September 27, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Well at least you didn't flip us the bird. Wonderful shot.

DerrickWildcat September 28, 2012 at 1:08 am

Aw shucks folks. It didn't end well for the Aztec Dancer. Shortly after shot was taken, the Painted Turtle snapped at him and missed, but I'll be goed to hell if he didn't land right back on the Turtle's nose. Well you know how those Dragonflies are. The Turtle got him the second time. The Marsh I took this at has long since dried up. There's just very little open water around here anymore. I sure hope we get hella snow this Winter to charge up the wetland areas again for the spring or I'm going to be taking a lot of pictures of dirt.

MittBorg September 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm

(Hugs you) DerrickWildcat, you are just the cutest.

Jukesgrrl September 28, 2012 at 1:10 am

X2

noodlesalad September 27, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Toddy, if she didn't brutally assault you with a cane, I think she treated you with more respect than you deserved, and certainly more than most people would have given you.

He's one of those true old-school gentlemen, the kind that would invoke the right of Primae Noctis or flog the serfs for not groveling enough when he rode by.

ManchuCandidate September 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I'd call him a dick, but the more I'm realizing he doesn't really have one.

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm

in future please do not besmirch one of my favorite childhood movies with 'todd akin'.

thanks.

gullywompr September 27, 2012 at 5:32 pm

The spaghetti scene, right? Nudge nudge, wink wink…

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm

[blushes]

finette_ September 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I'm 31 and it's STILL one of my favorite movies (though I acknowledge the regrettable racism of Si and Am the cats).

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 5:44 pm

i know i know. but the rest of it is delicious.

gullywompr September 27, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Well yeah, but those cats were always yelling on their cell phones in the UCLA library.

kingofmeh September 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm

ditto the "indians" in peter pan. i have such mixed emotions about sharing that movie with my daughter.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 27, 2012 at 10:23 pm

What I'm trying to get at is that provinciality is a function of distance. Given that we have an internet, and video chat services, the distance between hong knong and Muncie is measured in milliseconds and languages.
Many social traditions and biases we learn and use as heuristics were formed because of the great cost of travel. As trains, airplanes, automobiles, phones, and internets reduced the cost of communicating with another person, we have become a little bit less genocidal, tribal, and racist.
It's a long slog, to be sure. Some people will be set in their ways, and they vote. But You start with stonewall, you move to an epidemic, then you get on tv and the internet, into the millitary, you can see how homosexuality is becoming normalized. It takes time, it should take less time, but what are you gonna do?

gullywompr September 27, 2012 at 10:52 pm

You just made ghost Marshall McLuhan smile.

Lascauxcaveman September 28, 2012 at 12:38 am

I dunno, but I saw "Song of the South" in the theater. And then again on the "Wonderful World of Disney" teevee show sometime in the early 70's.

We still have the Disney version of the Uncle Remus story book somewhere about the house. That's pretty rich, too.

Also there are at least four (more or less harmless) racial stereotypes in "The Aristocats." Still a pretty great movie.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 27, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Enh. I dunno. It seems a bit more clever than making Barry dick jokes to be honest.
Black people have large penises = stereotype.

Conjoined twins named Si and Am = nym joke.
Making them Siamese cats with yowly high pitched voices = Siamese cats.
Making them them unmistakably asian with the eyes = Enh, point taken.
Making them villians? It's a job.

You can take if you please. You can take it if you don't please. They owned it.

bobbert September 27, 2012 at 10:21 pm

See, now if they'd been named "Ty" and "Styx", you'd have Fantasia.

viennawoods13 September 27, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Well, to be fair,aren't there also a lot of jokes here about Joe Biden's penis being of unusual size? And he's pretty darn white.

Chet Kincaid_ September 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Truly classic films have a way of shutting down besmirchment, so it's cool.

Sharkey September 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Shut up, you tramp.

Chow Yun Flat September 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

She was very aggressive in the debate = she didn't agree with all of my stupid ideas.

miss_grundy September 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm

= she had her own opinion regarding the facts….

mille derps September 27, 2012 at 5:42 pm

= Bitch.

HogeyeGrex September 27, 2012 at 5:49 pm

= she had FACTS!!!!!

Designer_Rants September 27, 2012 at 8:26 pm

= "Why are these liberals so angry? amirite?!"

Barrelhse September 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm

She called me a twatwaffle without ever saying it.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

<insert sammich making joke here>

HogeyeGrex September 27, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I was going to go for "Ladylike? So he wants her in the kitchen, pregnant from a legitimate rape?" but wevs.

Geminisunmars September 27, 2012 at 6:00 pm

You lie! You can't get pregnant from a legitimate rape. Have you learned nothing??!?

Not_So_Much September 27, 2012 at 5:54 pm

shit. I inserted a lousy one below because I missed your comment. Sorry!

<insert some k9 skullfuckery here>

Barrelhse September 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Hold the Mao?

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

OT but has anyone seen the bbc (and i assume elsewhere) shot of bibi using a cartoon bomb drawing to make his point at the UN?

hilarious.

noodlesalad September 27, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Yes. I'm looking forward to Ahmadinejad's rebuttal which will feature an ACME rocket and some roller skates.

AlterNewt September 28, 2012 at 12:02 am

…on which he will zoom into a rocky outcropping with a tunnel entrance painted on it.

Chow Yun Flat September 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm

A round anarchist bomb with a lit fuse–he must be one of those ironic hipsters.

SayItWithWookies September 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Hey, at least it wasn't tucked into Muhammad's turban.

miss_grundy September 27, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I wish someone would kick Bibi in the nuts because the more he talks, the less sympathetic I am toward Israel. If he wants canon fodder for Iran let him send his own people.

MosesInvests September 27, 2012 at 11:31 pm

He can f*cking go himself if he wants-most Israelis want no part of it. And I think he's going down in the next election.

Chet Kincaid_ September 27, 2012 at 6:09 pm

"Let me just draw the rest of this…what?! No way is that Muhammed!! See, it's a bomb cozy, not a turban!!"

HarryButtle September 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Bibi walked in with his 8×10 color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows…

Barrelhse September 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm
docterry6973 September 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Did Bibi say that only Romney could save Israel and bring peace by invading Iran? Just curious.

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 8:58 pm

oh i just read the pictures.

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 10:49 pm

I saw it. That guy is a fuckin' looney bin, and that anyone sees him as less crazy that President Immadinnerjacket have deluded themselves. How in the hell does Bibi keep coming back? Come on, Israel. Stop electing fucking neo-cons.

MosesInvests September 27, 2012 at 11:33 pm

It's not so much that Israelis elected Bibi, but rather he was able to form a coalition with the !@$@# religious parties. Those who want a multi-party system here in the US, look at the downside.

Negropolis September 28, 2012 at 3:16 am

Yes, but Likud is extremist all by its lonesome. It just gets to carry out its more carnal wishes because the right was given a mandate, or shorts.

And, really, Avigdor fuckin' Lieberman as foreign minister and deputy prime minister? Are you effing kidding me? I mean, that'd be like making Steve King of Iowa Secretary of State. I complain a lot about American politics, but Israeli politics have gone completely off the cliff when it comes to foreign policy. Even Kadima is not what anyone would hardly call dovish on foreign policy, and I think even Labor would best be described as pragmatic.

Beowoof September 27, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Hey now Claire just you don't be talking back to the menfolk now. Don't get all uppity like you might have rights or thoughts or any of that.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 27, 2012 at 5:29 pm

But she totally had her ankles crossed when she called him a worthless piece of shit.

gullywompr September 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm

You mean he didn't learn his lesson about how to talk about women? Wow!

ChillBill September 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm

That Feminazi's sassy mouth was supposed to shut itself down during the debate.

SayItWithWookies September 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Claire McCaskill started off the evening in an unladylike manner by leaving her kitchen, and it went downhill from there. And you know what's really unladylike? Victory speeches. I wouldn't put it past her if she tries one, either.

Jukesgrrl September 28, 2012 at 1:14 am

I posted an opinion online yesterday and the (serious) reply was: blah, blah, blah, "now go make dinner." Really, that's all they got.

hagajim September 27, 2012 at 5:32 pm

If I were McCaskill or any other Missouri "lady" I'd take a swing at this dickwad every chance I had.

KeepFnThatChicken September 27, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I think Todd has some sand in his vagina.

Gleem McShineys September 27, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Christ, my Akin vagina!

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Todd is not noble enough a creature to possess such a bodypart.

banana_bread September 28, 2012 at 9:57 am

It's okay. If it's legitimate sand, the body has ways of shutting that down.

mrpuma2u September 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm

It's like this McCaskill bitch wants to think for herself!!!!! The nerve of that woman.

Ryy September 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Akin: McCaskill self-raped

emmelemm September 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Do you know what we would give to pee out of Captain America???

I'd rather pee ON Captain America, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Well, and for the record, I'd rather pee on Robert Downey, Jr. or Chris Hemsworth, but I digress.

weejee September 27, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Pee's pour-rage hawt!

WhatTheHolyHeck September 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm

My vagina would like him to fuck himself into a coma with an unripe pineapple.

Sideways.

Figuratively.*

* Literally

BoatOfVelociraptors September 27, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Swizzle stick.
Urethra.
Broken.

gullywompr September 27, 2012 at 6:38 pm

with votes.

Barrelhse September 27, 2012 at 7:05 pm

It will be a huge hit on YouTube- can't wait!

Toomush_Infer September 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Yer confuzin' me…..I think I take the general tone of your comment, but , WTF?…

OneYieldRegular September 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Akin really needs to put his glasses back on, pick up his pitchfork, and get back to standing around in American Gothic.

BTWBFDIMHO September 27, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Toomush_Infer September 27, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Oh, that's good….!

OneYieldRegular September 27, 2012 at 10:39 pm

How does the Internet manage to keep doing this, think all one's thoughts before one has even had them?

Mittens Howell, III September 27, 2012 at 5:38 pm

circling the bowl … circling the bowl … and … down he goes.

JaceWyatt September 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Maybe he was molested by a lady as a kid and is holding that anger in. He'd do better just getting it all out his system tourette-like: legitimate-fucking-slut-whore-ladylike-bitch!

Jukesgrrl September 28, 2012 at 1:16 am

Or maybe he should go to Minnesota and get some therapy from Marcus Bachmann.

mavenmaven September 27, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Obviously something is wrong with McCaskill's lady parts (hence she's not ladylike) because according to Akin's understanding of biology, her vagina should have censored any aggressive words she might use, much as it censors hostile sperm.

IceCreamEmpress September 27, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Todd Akin is the gift that keeps on giving.

Like a smallpox-infested Snuggie.

Mumbletypeg September 27, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Let someone lock him in a kennel with Louis Gohmert interrupting him every time he opens his mouth with another cringe-worthy self-condemning derpload. I hope they both get worms.

Incitefully_Joe September 27, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Do you know what we would give to pee out of Captain America???

Oh come on I can't be the only one who secretly calls his that.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 27, 2012 at 6:19 pm

At least it comes with a shield. Safe sex, America.

vulpes82 September 27, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Made with vibranium for his/her please.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 27, 2012 at 10:36 pm

All wrapped in another S.H.I.E.L.D. Hmm.

actor212 September 28, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Mine is named Mighty Thor

Mostly cuz it usually is.

BartStarrland September 27, 2012 at 5:50 pm

What 'lady' wouldn't feel 'threatened' by this fucktard's views on gender?

Callyson September 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm

she came out swinging, and I think that’s because she feels threatened.

No, actually, it was because (like me) she wants to bust your balls.

OK, OK, with votes…

barto September 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm

She probably throws ike a girl, too.

viennawoods13 September 27, 2012 at 11:31 pm

I just had this image of women being tossed to Eisenhower.

Not_So_Much September 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm

What the fuck does this guy have to do to get a little lady to make him a fucking sammich around here?!!

Joshua Norton September 27, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Todd Akin made the unforgivable mistake of telling the TRUTH about the Republican party, revealing they think rape victims are lying sluts.

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 27, 2012 at 5:56 pm

To quote the inimitable Ms. Storm Large What the fuck is ladylike?

MonkeyHamlet September 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm

It's not that McCaskill is less of a lady. It's that Akin is more of dick.

Nesnora September 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Summary:

"Vaginas: Fucking scary! Who knows how they work…"

Guppy September 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm
Barrelhse September 27, 2012 at 6:00 pm

People with a hook hand must be careful to use the proper hand when wiping.

docterry6973 September 27, 2012 at 6:03 pm

That feminazi McCaskell probably shrank his willy for him, and he doesn't like it one bit.

Geminisunmars September 27, 2012 at 6:08 pm

How could he tell?

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 10:59 pm

She's a witch!

Geminisunmars September 27, 2012 at 6:05 pm

We watched 1/2 hour of the first episode. I was disappointed. I thought the premise and the setting would be interesting, but it was all improbable bloody gory super macho police dick.

Dr_Zoidberg September 27, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Why, I do believe I now have a case of the vapors! Oh, bless me, someone call the houseboy to fan me as I lay on my chaise lounge!

chascates September 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Lindsey Graham. Now there's a lady!

weejee September 27, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Do you think Lindsey will be up for a Cocktober Surprise party, or is he just too, too much with the discretion?

chascates September 27, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Perhaps the loss of his amigo Joe Lieberman and John McCain's increasing senility will force the Senator to search for warm companionship. And the teatards have already threatened to select another candidate in 2014.

I can see him opening a tea shoppe in Georgetown with ham biscuits!

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Look at her over there, on the veranda, fanning herself whilst drinking a Sweet Tea. She was asking for it. What a slut.

BlueStateLibel September 27, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Where is the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to teach Tod Akin some manners about the ladies?

Sharkey September 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm

There was definitely some peeing, where's the squirting though?

ChessieNefercat September 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm

And you, Akin, are no gentleman.

ChessieNefercat September 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I'll bet Akin thinks ladies that don't lie back and enjoy being legitimately raped are not being ladylike either.

FOAD, Akin.

rickmaci September 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Three weeks ago this clown was on his way to the US Senate. Think about that and be very afraid.

bobbert September 27, 2012 at 7:09 pm

He may still be. It's Missouri-town, rick.

weejee September 27, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Gotta point there bobbert. The state's motto, Show Me is what too frequently happens at the Greyhound Bus depot. Most locales don't see that as a braggin' point. Do they give frequent flasher miles?

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I'm still afraid. He's actually polling quite competitively, again, since America's attention span seems to be so. fucking. short!

actor212 September 28, 2012 at 9:34 am

Yes, but he's doing his damnedest to keep the spotlight shining harshly on his balding pate.

actor212 September 28, 2012 at 9:33 am

And One-L, Joe Walsh and Allen West are sinking in their polls. Good times, my friends, good times.

bobbert September 28, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Well, Deadbeat Joe should be dead meat Joe, and wild wild West is now in a competitive district, so there's hope there. Minnesotans appear to put most of there crazies in that one district, so if 1-L loses, that will be news indeed.

retarded_baboon September 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm

That’s right, little lady, the men are talking. Now be a dear and fetch us some coffee.

slowhansolo September 27, 2012 at 6:35 pm

So much disrespect for Arthur.

King of Atlantis. Badass wife. Trident wielder. Stone killer.

Just don't get it…

Angry_Marmot September 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Aquaman's a hero; he can talk to the fish.

Incitefully_Joe September 28, 2012 at 1:11 am

FACT: Aquaman's greatest superpower is somehow not dying of hypothermia and crush depth.

slowhansolo September 28, 2012 at 3:19 am

Yeah! I mean, think about it… (Heh, great link, thanks!)

Nostrildamus September 27, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Ladylike: floor-length skirts, petticoats, Dickensonian poetry …

Let's see, what rhymes with "choad"?

Sharkey September 27, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Trucknutz.

Angry_Marmot September 27, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Load.

Nostrildamus September 27, 2012 at 6:56 pm

A great Hope fell
You heard no noise
The Ruin was within
Oh cunning wreck that blew no load
And let no Witness view his choad

Chet Kincaid_ September 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Allen West would have written on his blog in support (if not for his ever vigilant aide):

"Courage, Todd Akin! Democrat women do not understand how to honor Man as the head of both civic and domestic affairs, and the shrill battleaxe McCaskill is no exception. Did you see the way the impudent and brazen Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was all dolled up at the Democrat Plantation Convention?! Never has a dame called out more for the firm hand of masculine rectitude to tame her audacious sauciness toward traditional values."

T3rbo September 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Jesus and or Regan would never have tolerated such harlotry. Will you, trusted reader, take up that cross of Galilee and throw the first stone? God, I miss the good old days, when blacks were content with just performing amusing dances and singing and women were content dying in childbirth…

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 11:02 pm

**golf clap**

T3rbo September 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Who in the hell really hates women this much? I am guessing Mr. Akin's mom used to tape his dick between his legs to hide it and dress him up as a girl. That is literally the only thing that makes sense-he is getting revenge with his misogynistic jihad against women, in the name of restoring the Old Ways

BarackMyWorld September 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I'm already pretty sure Barry's gonna lose my state, but it'll be worth standing in line for 3 hours to vote against this asshole.

Callyson September 27, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Let us know where to send the pizza, and which pizzeria you prefer. And thanks for your service to the nation.

ttommyunger September 29, 2012 at 11:30 am

Two-Words: Absentee Ballot.

MissTaken September 27, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I would say that Akin is a fucking dickless piece of rotten shit, but I'm far too ladylike for such words.

Dudleydidwrong September 27, 2012 at 8:50 pm

You are much too kind.

PsycWench September 27, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I would like to tell Todd Akin that being ladylike is way way overrated.

Generation[redacted] September 27, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I'm disappointed. Akin was much more ladylike in 2008.

mille derps September 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Hmmm… Could it be that Jim Talent in 2006 was more of a gentleman than Todd Akin in 2012?

natl_indecency_cmdr September 27, 2012 at 7:27 pm

“Please inspect my delicate Avenger"

Now that's ladylike. And, since you requested so politely, I believe I shall.

cheetojeebus September 27, 2012 at 7:55 pm

You know that Bruce Lee movie where he is like buzzing in place, sort of hovering, then lets loose with the fastest hardest kick imaginable to the side of the guy's head, it's like an explosion. Yeah….like that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diArzr74WuE

TootsStansbury September 27, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Fuck these assholes a thousand ways from Sunday. They need to go the fuck away. I am all for opposing parties but this shit has gotten completely out of hand. Godsdamnit enough all ready!

fuflans September 27, 2012 at 9:03 pm

running for united states senate…

occasionally i have these moments of incredulity. often happens when i hear rand paul's name.

Ixacacau September 27, 2012 at 8:14 pm

As a lady I can assure Mr Akin that we certainly come out swinging (and voting) when some crotchety, inbred ignoramus tries to limit our legal, medical options. As for his appalling fantasy about rape: I expect nothing better from Todd.

RALitherland September 27, 2012 at 8:15 pm

This man's knuckle-dragging simian's campaign is now running mostly on child labor, with delusional home-schoolers pretending that disseminating his medieval tripe is a valuable civics lesson. Strewth. Poor kids.

Dudleydidwrong September 27, 2012 at 8:56 pm

"'Slaves, be obedient to your masters…' it says in the Bible, so all you home-schooled little obedient slaves start stuffin' envelopes and makin' phone calls. Now get to it!"

deanbooth September 27, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Aquaman lost a hand!?! It will probably show up in a fish.

Toomush_Infer September 27, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Show him, hell! I think she can take him, old teapartery asshole….

docterry6973 September 27, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I think McCaskell was sufficiently ladylike. Mrs. Docterry assures me that she would have walked across the stage and hit him with a Louisville Slugger corked with votes.

owhatever September 27, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Now you girls just calm down.

En_Buenora September 27, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Well, if she was a legitimate lady, she'd have a way of shuttin' him down.

Oh, wait — looks like that's what's happenin'. So, maybe Akin was right.

mosjef September 27, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Not many people know that Todd's middle name is Asshole. True story.

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 11:06 pm

It's crazy. His first name is a perfectly acceptable "William" he he chooses, Todd. Really, man? You chose to go by Todd?*

*No offense to guys whose actual name is Todd.

bobbert September 28, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Probably called "Billy" as a kid.

(As in "Quit cher Billy Akin")

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I was never a big fan of Claire to say the least, so it says something of the talents of Todd Akin that I'm now a rabid McCaskill fan.

I hope Akin enjoys being legitimately defeated…with votes. 'Cause Claire's going to shut this shit down, son. You see, because Democracy has a way of shutting down the whole process.

bobbert September 28, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Unfortunately, Claire isn't Lady, she's a fucking Blue Dog. But a majority is a majority, so — like you — I'm a fan.

dollymadison22 September 27, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Todd Akin is a buffoon, but Missouri is a red state now. Take away St. Louis and Kansas City and you've got Mississippi.

Sacanagem September 27, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I'ma just leave this pic of Mrs. Akin right here.
http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/2012/09/17/todd-a

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Honey, that's a MAN!

**said in voice of sassy blacklady in Springer audience**

Sacanagem September 27, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Or Mammy Yokum. (I'm old.)

eggsacklywright September 28, 2012 at 8:13 am

I think you nailed it. (Me too).

Dudleydidwrong September 28, 2012 at 9:42 am

Put a corncob pipe in her mouth and she's a dead ringer.

She's also as big an asshole as he is.

Radiotherapy September 28, 2012 at 12:04 am

She cited colonists who “rose up and said, ‘Not in my home, you don’t come and rape my daughters and my … wife.
Oh my, what is it with these circus freaks and rape?
She pretty much matches his combover.

bobbert September 28, 2012 at 12:07 pm

So that's what the Third Amendment is about?

Lot_49 September 28, 2012 at 2:26 am

Christ, does he leave her chained up out in the sun all day?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 27, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Someone needs to ask Akins if she legitimately or illegitimately lost her ladylike nature.

Negropolis September 27, 2012 at 10:54 pm

BTW, this man was born in NYC and went to college in Worcester and whose dad was a Harvard grad. Mommas and Poppas, don't move your babies to Missouri, por favor.

Radiotherapy September 28, 2012 at 12:07 am

Srsly? I'l take your word for it as I refuse to give this corroded, vile mind any of more of my eyeball time.

Negropolis September 28, 2012 at 3:09 am

Srsly. To be fair, he was raised in suburban St. Louis, but damn, he even sounds as if he was raised innn rural Missouri.

Barrelhse September 27, 2012 at 11:51 pm

That's Why the Lady is a Tramp.

Jukesgrrl September 28, 2012 at 1:18 am

"Next thing you know, that bitch is going to claim to be an Indian."

Lot_49 September 28, 2012 at 2:23 am

Anyone who's lived in Mizoor-uh (that's the part between KC and StL) will tell you that Todd Akin is just what they deserve. It's like Pennsylvania: two cities with rural Alabama in between.

You still have to wonder why any woman anywhere would have so little self of steam as to vote for Akin, though.

Negropolis September 28, 2012 at 3:18 am

Unlike Pennsylvania, the Alabama in between is often more than enough to overpower the cities, and unlike PA, even the suburbs seem to be conservative.

Chet Kincaid_ September 28, 2012 at 2:26 am

OT: Democrats Furiously Chiseling Away At Wonkette's 4 Prime Sources For Snark:
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/09/democra

sati_demise September 28, 2012 at 3:06 am

And she wore white shoes after labor day. the nerve.

Sassomatic September 28, 2012 at 3:46 am

I'd like to see Hillary zap him in the balls with her laser eyes, but she wouldn't deign to pay that much attention to him.

arihaya September 28, 2012 at 3:48 am

OT But, psychic Wonkette correctly predict the recent Florida GOP voter fraud in June. Now GOP is trying to wash their hand for this clusterfuck.

prediction: http://wonkette.com/475883/romney-campaign-finds-
news: http://firstread.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/09/27/141

BaldarTFlagass September 28, 2012 at 8:08 am

they probably did this on purpose so they can justify their purging of the voter rolls to prevent voter fraud. "See, there's voter fraud! Purge the browns!!!"

Jus_Wonderin September 28, 2012 at 6:38 am

Faster than a speeding sperm? Super Vag!

DahBoner September 28, 2012 at 7:30 am

Jesus would cockpunch this dude.

Negropolis September 28, 2012 at 8:07 am

But, only after it thrice crowed, 'cause that's just how the gentleman savior rolls, you know?

chascates September 28, 2012 at 8:49 am

He forgot to add that a real lady stays at home to care for her husband and children unless she's single in which case she's a slut.

ElPinche September 28, 2012 at 9:07 am

I have nothing to say about that sack of shit Akin and POS repubes who waited it out for a few news cycles.

However, I've always found it disturbing how Disney made Lady so damn hot.

Radiotherapy September 28, 2012 at 9:30 am

She is one fine looking bitch.

bobbert September 28, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Disney's animators always made the animals seem more like people than the people, no?

ElPinche September 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Yeah, the people were very much like Romney, annoying, idiotic & robot-like .

GemlikeFlame September 28, 2012 at 9:10 am

Obvs. The really striking thing here is that this buffoon continues to shove his foot in the same old mouth without apparently ever realizing that he's doing it. If the definition of psychosis is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, this jackass need a strait jacket and an arm full of lithium stat.

CivicHoliday September 28, 2012 at 9:53 am

I love absolutely everything about the writing of this post, title to last sentence. As for the CONTENTS…well, as a Missourian and a woman, I just have to say, with due reverence to 2008, Bitch is the new Black, so shut the fuck up old man and let Claire baby kick your ass.

ttommyunger September 29, 2012 at 11:33 am

Not paying too much attention to this fellow's idea of lady-like. Some say Todd Akin's idea of being "gentlemanly" is bearing his weight on his elbows whilst he bums the local Weblos Troop.

shebeers September 30, 2012 at 3:35 am

Well you know, getting illegitimately raped is just NOT ladylike!

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