your newest entry in the annals of irony

Mitt Romney To Stone Cold Politifact Barack Obama

and if you don't like government health insurance, can i get a hell yeah?

Mitt Romney, that terrible, audacious liar, is going to approach the debates as a way of letting America know what a terrible, audacious liar Barack Obama is, because as Sun Tzu said, “Approach your weaknesses like the spineless sack of poo that you are.”

Mitt Romney plans to turn himself into a one-man truth squad during the first presidential debate next week, casting President Barack Obama as someone who can’t be trusted to stick to the facts or keep his promises.

Top Republicans are telegraphing Romney’s hard-line strategy for his faceoff with Obama, according to Mike Allen’s Playbook in POLITICO on Thursday. The debate plan comes during a presidential cycle where media fact-checkers have held a high profile and where an earlier effort by Democrats to cast GOP vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan as untrustworthy got results.

And let’s be honest (for once!): reporters will eat this mess up, because it’s a narrative and it lets them right the cosmic scales of justice in favor of not having to be unevenly mean as a part of their jobs. Ho hum.

Mitt Romney lies a lot more than Barack Obama (well, at least according to Politifact, which sometimes just decides that things are lies because they want to see a .gif of fire).

According to Politifact’s rating system, Mitt Romney’s statements have been judged Mostly False, False, or Pants on Fire 46% of the time, versus only 29% for President Obama. In the Pants on Fire category alone, Romney is more than four times as likely to suffer trouser immolation than the President. Nearly one in ten statements by Romney earned flaming slacks, versus one out of every fifty for Obama.

Even when Romney does tell the truth, according to Politifact, he’s much more likely to mix in some falsehoods. 48% of his non-false ratings were only “Half True,” compared with 35% for President Obama.

In fact, just a month ago, Romney’s campaign said that they did not give not a single fuck about no fact checkers, and that “We’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact checkers.”

One assumes that Romney will spend the entire debate calling Obama a liar, citing random things from fact checkers incorrectly, and then smiling his square-jawed smile at the camera in a vain attempt to connect with people at home who’ve always wanted to call a black man in a suit a liar. And it’s true, that is a lie, because Obama has a tracksuit on underneath so that he’ll feel comfortable.

Please check that last statement, Politifact. We need you now more than ever.

[Politico]

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  • nounverb911

    Doesn't Romney need to figure out which side of his flip-flops is the truth first?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Not if he's attacking the other guy's facts BALDFACED LIES, PTUI! PTUI!

    • GeorgiaBurning

      He'll probably switch sides on a couple issues during a 90 minute debate, why waste staff finding out what's true or false?

  • Boojum

    "No, sir, you do NOT wear boxers!" will be about the level of it.

    I hope Mitt steps on his dick so hard trying this that he can't pee for a month.

    • mayor_quimby

      I have been using this phrase with friends about mittens, and they look at me funny. They're like, why would he step on his own dick? Exactly.

    • sewollef

      If Mittens can step on his own dick, then he's a bigger man that I. Metaphorically speaking, not literally of course, couldn't be literally.

      • Chichikovovich

        Perhaps he just has very, very short legs. They use a lot of perspective tricks and unusual camera angles to disguise it.

  • nounverb911

    Romney needs more asbestos pants.

    • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Romney is SO PISSED that Brooks Brothers doesn't carry them!

      • viennawoods13

        In fact he HAS to piss his pants just to put out the flames!!

  • mavenmaven

    I hope the Romney campaign fact-checks how to spell "massacre" for their internal documentation of how they lost the campaign.

    • ChessieNefercat

      We will not be dictated to by fact-checkers, and by the way, it's spelled "massaker" because we say so!

    • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

      I'm sure that Mitt knows how to spell (Mountain Meadows) Massacre.

    • Beach_Bubba_Tex

      Mormons are a little touchy about the m-word. Much more comfy with the notion that Romney's campaign is "Armageddon Revealed."

  • emmelemm

    Let's face it, sometimes we all just want to see a .gif of fire.

    • UnholyMoses

      ♫ I fell into a burning .gif of fire
      I went down, down, down
      And the flames went higher
      And it burns, burns, burns …
      the .gif of fire
      The .gif of fire ♫

      • emmelemm

        'Zactly. (It got stuck in my head immediately.)

    • Nostrildamus

      ♫ Burning, Burning
      Pixel Inferno
      Burning, Burning
      Burn those Mom Jean down ♫

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Mitt is getting debate practice from a crack team including Dick Morris, Baghdad Bob and Joe Isuzu.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Practice moderator: Tommy Flanagan.

      • Geminisunmars

        Consultant: Paul Ryan.

  • Indiepalin

    What comes after "pants on fire"?

    • nounverb911

      The "burning bush"?

      • Baconzgood

        My prom date had that.

        • UnholyMoses

          Some antibiotics usually clears that up …

          Usually.

    • UnholyMoses

      Smoldering magic underwear?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      According to the Progressive insurance commercial, "No Mas Pantalones"

      • emmelemm

        Mitt is Messican, after all.

    • Radiotherapy

      Lyin' Ryan?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Magic undies on fire?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      exploding toilets!

      • shelwood46

        "Every Spring, the toilets explode…"

    • Toomush_Infer

      Joe Walsh…

    • mille derps
    • ChessieNefercat

      Flaming testes, I hope.

      • Gleem McShineys

        TruckCinderz

    • MissTaken

      I find it difficult to come after my pants are on fire

      OH! You said what, not who. Nevermind!

    • Negropolis

      Third degress burns?

    • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

      Mostly False —-> False —–> Pants on Fire —–> Anus in a Burn Ward —–> Satan Takes a Skin Graft with a Lava-coated Pitchfork Dipped in Acid

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Univision-pandering Mitt is more of a Luchador, stage name's "Calzoncillos Mágicos."

    • miss_grundy

      That's cold, he doesn't even make it to the "gallo" category.

  • memzilla

    Remember the Watson computer that won all that baksheesh on Jeopardy? Why can't we just hook it up to Politifact on the one side, and Mitt Rmoney on the other side, and spew out the result as a chyron crawl on the bottom of the screen?

    Real Time Bulls**t Detection! Other than the exploding microchips and sparking cables (from teh Mittbot, most likely), what could possibly go wrong?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      that's the future of democracy isn't it?

  • nounverb911

    Someone should jam Mitt's wifi.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Mitt's BIG line: "I'll bet you 50 cents I'm right about this"

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Don't you mean "fiddy cents"?

      • ChessieNefercat

        I think it's fiddy cen'.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        He wouldn't even GET that joke.

  • Ryy

    So Romney's plan is to try and convince people that they dont really know who this Obama character is, and best not trust him with the presidency? Romney does know Obama is the incumbent, right?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChurchofRealism

      Shush, this is strategery.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    There's no contempt like self contempt. Romney's insides must be on fire.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Well if you torch your trousers that often, such things should be expected.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        But you usually don't eat your trousers first.

    • mille derps

      I wonder if it's ever even occurred to Mitt that he's contemptible… I thought that was just for 'you people'?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "an earlier effort by Democrats to cast GOP vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan as untrustworthy"

    Not "untrustworthy." More like "a fucking liar." As in, he'd rather climb a tree and tell you a lie than stay on the ground and tell you the truth.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Why does a Romney v. Obama truth match call up a mental image of a Mexican hairless attacking a Tyrannosaur..?

    • Callyson

      earlier effort by Democrats

      With a major assist from FOX News, of all sources–even *they* had to admit his VP acceptance speech was riddled with errors.

    • MosesInvests

      Jerry Clower FTW!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    "I'm a one man truth squad." Lie. Derp.

  • slithytoves

    Ah yes, projection. We know thee so well.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      man repubs really do have a projection / transference thing don't they? they've spent the last four years hurling all of the criticisms bush received at obama. in most cases nonsensically. now ROMNEY's going after bamz for lying!?!? this is their plan?

      there are plenty of ways to attack the dems and plenty of weaknesses (hell, just staying on the economy would be better).

      i say AGAIN: who is running this campaign? clearly i was wrong about squirrels. they would be more focused.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    one-man truth squad

    Worst WWE character ever.

    • finallyhappy

      so I met Macho Man(Rest in Peace, dude) . I was then- as I am now- a short slight(ok, I was then) woman. I reached out and grasped his arm(clad in paisley spandex) and he said " DON'T TOUCH ME"

  • DaveJ

    Key problem: Mitt sounds like he's whining when he argues with people in a debate.

    • viennawoods13

      Fuck, he always sounds like he's whining. I was listening to him on NPR while driving home today, and he is SO irritating to listen to, always sounds like he's asking for something.

      • LibertyLover

        I wonder if Mitt will try to lay his hand on Obama?

        • Geminisunmars

          Bams will just roll his eyes and flick that hand off his shoulder.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            I would think it would be more of a side eye.

          • Geminisunmars

            Yeah, that.

    • mille derps

      That's a feature, not a problem. At least from my perspective…

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      whining and awkward and then he has that HIDEOUS laugh to smooth things over.

      ick. i can't wait for all this to be over.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Oh, what a tangled web we weave
    when first we practice bagging tea.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Oh, Mittens, well done!

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    The cake is a lie.

  • sharethegrief

    "We're not going to let our campaign be factated by dick checkers."

    • coolhandnuke

      In Mormonspeak it's "Flogging the Bishop."

    • kittensdontlie

      And when Mittens' piece reaches the last 'row' in the campaign, he will be crowned the King Dick.—From The Official Rules According to the Wonkette

  • UnholyMoses

    "Mitt Romney plans to turn himself into a one-man truth squad … "

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA **cough** HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA **coughwheeze** HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA **wheeze** HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA … HA HA HA HA … HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA … HA … HA … ha …

    **sigh**

    #justpeedhispants

  • Ryy

    Mittens, here is your winning line for the debate "Well, how do you know a nigger's lyin'? His lips are moving!"

    You are welcome!

    • emmelemm

      I can't believe that such an adorable little dog (avatar) could say something so terrible! :)

      • Ryy

        One of 'em beat me all the time to toughen me up for dog fighting. He wasnt too bright.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Adorable dogs say the MOST fucked up shit!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          So do really cute motherfucking cats, yo!

          • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

            Why are you ignoring Selachimorpha?

          • gullywompr

            I choose to remain stone-faced about this.

        • emmelemm

          Point taken. My adorable dog is quite the little bitch.

          • Geminisunmars

            Wait…what??

          • emmelemm

            Got off track… I actually have a small, adorable female dog. Who occasionally makes a racist remark. Which is odd, because she's all black herself.

          • finallyhappy

            a self hating dog?

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            I didn't know dogs could bark "GINGER!"

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            True story, a friend of mine once rescued a sheepdog from the pound who barked incessantly at black people. It would have been more awkward if she hadn't lived in Bothell.

    • zumpie

      And it is not Thurston's job to care about them!

  • SmutBoffin

    Wait, I thought Mitt could only lie by violating the Second Law of Robotics. What gives?

    Is he some kind of…cyborg? Maybe a defective robot?

    • Generation[redacted]

      He could turn his whole campaign around simply by punching another robot in the face.

      • SmutBoffin

        Good one.

    • Lot_49

      Fondly fahrenheit, perhaps….

  • CommieDad

    "I'm sorry Mr. President, but that's just not true. I am not a nice guy with no clue. I am a total asshole with no FUCKING clue."

    "No, it was the Democrat party that caused the financial crisis by allowing John Kerry to lose."

    "Bain capital received no money from the stimulus bill, so it is not true that the stimulus bill stopped us from going into a depression."

    "That is not true, my tax plan doesn't rely on bad numbers. It relies on magic."

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Sun Tzu said "方法骨氣的便便袋,你是你的弱點,如"? That even more pithy that what's in Mao's little red book.

    • Lot_49

      Bit harsh, don't you think? Do some poo bags actually have spines?

    • mavenmaven

      I believe you mean, 躺在屎袋.

    • gullywompr

      Really? I thought he spoke Mandarin…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    What's great about Mitt being the fact-checker is that he can just say that anything President Obama says is a lie, then pull the justification out of his hat. Um — that's the way this sort of thing works, right?

    • Kidneys4Sale

      Perhaps if his hat is nested snugly in his asshole.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Looking forward to the "Mitt 'Truth Warrior' Romney" identifier in CNN's graphics.

  • mbobier

    Mittens as a one-man truth squad? Talk about bringing a Q-Tip to a knife fight….

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    "Because Romney 3:16 says I just rebooted my campaign again!"

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Don't worry. Rmoney is lying about this too.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya
  • hagajim

    With his pants on fire that much its a darn good thing that Mittens has the majik undies to protect him.

    • OzoneTom

      They come in Kevlar Nomex?

  • SmutBoffin

    Mitt wouldn't know truth if someone dropped a 10-ton tautology on his head.

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club.

      • emmelemm

        (I can't believe) ISWYDT.

        • WhatTheHolyHeck

          Randall will forgive the homagey plagiarism.

  • coolhandnuke

    I thought fire-retardent magic underwear was standard issue to all Mormon Bishops and false witness bearers.

    • Boojum

      Fire retard magic under where?

  • Generation[redacted]

    Romney campaign: “we're not going to let our campaign be dictated by one-man fact-checkers"

  • fartknocker

    Please bring up Birf Certificate Mitt. That will go over so well with the electorate.

    • LibertyLover

      Don't be silly, he doesn't need a Birth Certificate, everyone can see he's not Native American.

  • gullywompr

    Two guards are at the door. One always lies, the other always tells the truth. What question should you ask?

    • Mittens Howell, III

      When will you release your tax returns?

      • bobbert

        Winner.

    • LibertyLover

      Is that poo on your shoes?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Do you feel lucky?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Wait. Do you mean "Dirty Harry lucky" or "hooker on the pier lucky"?

    • Geminisunmars

      Who's on first?

    • bobbert

      Do you feed the fish?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      if i were to ask mitt romney this question, what would he say?

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    In the next revision of Sun Tzu, it is going to say…
    "It is said that if you know your enemies and lie to yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred elections (in your mind); if you do not know your enemies but lie yourself, you will win all of them (in your mind); if you lie about your enemies and to yourself, you will be Mittens Rmoney, which is long nosed white person noise for idiot rich fatuous emotionally challenged dunce with mind of pudding.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Is Barack even going to show up? I had just kind of assumed that he'd let Biden take the debates this time, leaving Ryan alone in whatever lean-to the VP debate is going to be held in.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I just keep picturing Old Handsome Joe with his brightest, most shark-like smile ever, just dying to get in there and by God reward himself for holding back on that silly, vicious bitch, Palin, four years ago.

      I sincerely hope that Ryan is sobbing and peeing by the end, especially after social-justice-Catholic Joe whips out his rosary beads and beats sex-obsessed-mean-spirited-Catholic Ryan with them.

      Hmm. Note to self; find out if the nuns on the bus will be there to cheer for Joe.

  • mrpuma2u

    Facts are for pussies! Stone Cold said so.

  • PubOption

    Adding up Mittens numbers –
    Mostly false, false or pants on fire 46%
    Half true 48%
    That just leaves 6% for mostly true or true. And then he calls Barry a liar.

    • idamagg

      The trouble with Romney is that he is trying to be everything for everybody. When he thought the populus was against the Affordable Care Act, he pledged to repeal Obamacare. When polls showed that more people liked the Affordable Care Act, he said he would keep parts of it when he is president. Someone said when he was talking to the Hispanic Crowd it appeared his hair was darker and he had a spray tan. I didn't notice that. When he talked to the Union workers, he tried to sound like he was one of them. Since he has lost much of the women vote, I am wondering if he will wear falsies when he talks to them.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    What do you expect? The guy spent years eating his meals at an irony board.

    • LibertyLover

      Damn. I wish I'd said that.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You will. :-)

    • bobbert

      Hipster.

    • Negropolis

      An Irony Board of Directors, maybe?

    • freddymcmurray

      I thought Lovie did the ironing, being a soccer mom and all. Oh right, the servants.

  • hagajim

    So Mitt has been working on his best Joe Wilson?

  • PuckStopsHere

    I believe the only time in this entire campaign that Willard told the truth was the one measly time when he didn't think anybody was recording him. Everything else has been bald-faced. All of it.

    • bobbert

      Oh, I imagine he starts off his speeches with "My name is Mitt Romney"*, so there's some truth every speech.**

      * because otherwise the crowd might forget

      ** as far as we know.

      • just_a_head

        Technically, that's a lie, too.

  • Radiotherapy

    So basically he's flip-flopping on lying, amirite?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Drop trou and bring it on!"

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Unfortunately, the magic underwear come with a built in fire extinguisher.

  • Indiepalin

    Headline of the day (Foxnews):

    "Police to Search Under Detroit Driveway for Hoffa"

    • Beowoof

      If they just let Detroit go under as Mitt suggested they probably would have found the body while they were down there.

    • Negropolis

      Silly Fox, everyone knows that Hoffa was buried under the RenCen/Silverdome/(fill in Detroit landmark).

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Given that he's already said he woulda killed Bin Laden, and saving the auto industry was his idea (retroactively), and there was that health care plan he took credit for until he didn't, why should this surprise us?

    • Geminisunmars

      He just took credit for that health care plan again (shown on Blitzer's blitz today) to show that he actually does care about people. The whole thing is making Erick Erickson flinch.

  • elviouslyqueer

    "Trouser Immolation" is right up there with "Squarebottom Ninnies" as possibly one of the greatest gay boyband names EVER.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Paul Ryan and The Stench?

    • Negropolis

      Isn't "gay boyband" kinda' redudant?

  • knuck1es

    Mitt Romney consistently telling the truth would a) completely destroy his chances and b) cause an internal server error. Kablooie!

  • Estproph

    From now on, why not just post a picture of Jon Lovitz doing Tommy Flanagan instead of Romney.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Mitt's Luchador name is Capirotazo-Fracaso

    • Gleem McShineys

      How awesome would that be if he fucking just goes divides-by-zero nutzoid and actually shows up to the debates in a Luchador mask?

  • LibertyLover

    Why do I get the feeling that Romney at some point in the debate is going to lean over and bite Obama on the neck?

    • MosesInvests

      Or bite off his ear.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    well this too should go well.

  • LibertyLover

    Alert the Right wing conspiracy theorists — Soros just donated a cool $1 million to Obama.

    • UnholyMoses

      SOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Meanwhile, the Koch Bros., Sheldon Anderson, and host of other rightwing rich-as-hell fucktards donate 400 times that amount.

      • Geminisunmars

        But that's okay.

        • Negropolis

          'Cause Freedom, mais oui.

    • Fox n Fiends

      Its to cover any bets that Romney will wager during the debates

  • OneYieldRegular

    "President Obama, that's a lie. I'll bet you $10,000 you're wrong. No, wait, $5,000! Let's make it a wager the little people can understand."

  • mavenmaven

    You think he'll use that "african lion/lyin' african" line in the debate?
    Think he'll spring some novel birther claim? Rev. Wright? William Ayers?
    This debate is going to make some fine television.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Hey, Mitt's going to bring a special video cell phone to this debate and hide it on the podium somewhere – that way, he'll have a record of the Obama lies…. don't tell me he doesn't learn from experience…

  • barto

    This is where Mitts asbestos pants are going to come in real handy.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    the wiser strategy might be to simply respond 'ronald reagan' to everything like he did in '08.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I don't now about the rest of you, but this has been a rollercoaster of a day. Whew. I am tired and don't tell anyone, but I didn't get all my Wonkette work done either.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Romney is more than four times as likely to suffer trouser immolation than the President

    Does he know that they have over-the-counter creams for that now?

  • Slim_Pickins

    Romney doesn't lie, Politifacts uses the wrong facts.

    • Geminisunmars

      The wrong checkers, too.

  • Isyaignert

    They'd better check Rmoney for wires and transmitters like GeeDumb had during the debates with Al Gore.

    • decay500

      R doesn't need that check.. He's The Terminated. Internal SSD's, pre-programmed firmware. Hope they left in "fuck you, asshole!"

  • UnholyMoses

    I gotta say (or type, in this case): I really hate presidential debates, as they're just ways for the candidates to spout their stump speeches, but in the form of an answer to a question — and often, an answer that has nothing whatsoever to do with the question.

    But Ryan v. Biden? And Mitt v. Barry?

    I can't wait …

    • ChessieNefercat

      "…often, an answer that has nothing whatsoever to do with the question."

      Why, yes, I did think of Palin when I read that. She actually bragged about it.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Here's a debate question I would love to hear:

    Gov. Romney, you have not released ten years of federal tax returns which is something every other major party candidate has done over the last thirty years.
    Some speculate you took advantage of a tax amnesty program that allowed you to pay your back taxes without incurring any penalties. Can you put the speculation to rest? Did you take part in a tax amnesty program at any time during the last ten years?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "Yes, Mr. Chips, I hear what you are asking. Let me answer that by saying that 10 years is a long period of time, in fact, that is the age of Ann's horse, Rafalca. As you know Ann has MS. And I have………………………………………………"

      "Something, something, something that has no relation to taxes……………"

      • Geminisunmars

        …and speaking of amnesty, you know that Mr Obama will grant amnesty to all illegal aliens, even those from Al Qaeda.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    i remember how in '08, everyone was just like, "wait till the debates, Mccain will be AWESOME in the debates! Uhh, wait till the town hall debate! McCain totally won't just randomly wander off during that one!"

    I just feel like this whole "Mitt Romney is gonna factcheck the Dickens out of the President, in a capital showing, tut tut, quite-so," thing is basically the 2012 version of that nonsense.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yeah and barack 'long game' obama is telling everyone he's a crappy debater.

      now we haven't seen him debate in a while but my memory is he was quite good. he's also been fielding press (and public gatherings and congress and white house staff and europe and bibi and fucking baggers and and and…) for four years.

      finally, these aren't actual debates.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Romney's ridiculous claims are only one man's truth, squad.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Mitt will ride a jet ski through the lake of dishonesty. That is when Barry will hit him with a Predator drone of truthiness.

  • CommieDad

    Truth. The only true things are death and taxes. Oh and the Bible. And maybe Rush Limbaugh. Oh, and every FUCKING WORD OUT OF PAT O'RIELY'S mouth.

    So it should be easy for Mitt, as he is an expert on death (having died and been rebuilt as a robot), taxes (as in not paying them), the Bible (and the book of mormon which is totally true), and he just repeats what Rush says, and he must DVR Pat's show, so…. Win Mitt.

  • WIDTAP

    If Mitt's pants burst into flames 60 times and Obama's do so twice, then you have obviously oversampled in your reporting.

    • LibertyLover

      RWNJ: That's just PROOF that both sides do it.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Has anyone bothered to explain to Bishop Romney that if he is going to do a "hold President Obama to the facts" debate that he can't lie, and can't include "Fauxfacts"?

  • docterry6973

    Romney is aware that he is a serial flip-flopper and pathological liar, isn't he? I mean, I thought it was his plan to lie. Now he is scaring me.

  • a_pink_poodle

    This'll be amusing!

  • Fox n Fiends

    All Barry has to do is quote Jesus from the Bible, then ask Bishop Willard if its a true or false quotation. Oh the fun they'd have.

    • Negropolis

      Oh, you are so very bad in the very best of ways.

  • chascates

    “We're a candidate now, and when we act, we create our own politifacts."

  • YerMa

    Hey Politifact, can you make Mitt's gif be magical underpants on fire, please?

  • zumpie

    Oh MIttens, returning to the well again??? Is this because "I know you are but what am I???" has been such a successful strategy the previous 50 catrillion times you've employed it?

  • anniegetyerfun

    God, I hope he shouts "YOU LIE!" right in the middle of one of Obama's rebuttals. It worked so well last time.

  • Grantmonkey

    Romney’s strategy for the up coming Presidential debates is to have an Easy Button installed on his podium that plays Joe Wilson's "You lie" shout at Obama's State of the Union Address.

  • mosjef

    Mutt is an equal opportunity liar. He pulls shit out of both sides of his ass. Everytime he lies in the debates he should be hit in the head with a rubber mallet and there should be this big BOING! sound effect. I volunteer for the mallet duties.

  • Terry

    "Mitt Romney plans to turn himself into a one-man truth squad during the first presidential debate next week, casting President Barack Obama as someone who can’t be trusted to stick to the facts or keep his promises."

    Oh man, Romney has gone to 100% self parody. This is going to work just as we'll as when Romney attacked Obama on China, after Romney made a fortune sending jobs to China.

  • Negropolis

    And it’s true, that is a lie, because Obama has a tracksuit on underneath so that he’ll feel comfortable.

    Okay, that was just brilliant.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I SO don't trust these jokers.
    Way to distract everyone, and take the heat off Mitt.

    (But I have total faith in the wise and knowing cynics of Obama's team.)

  • Ducksworthy

    Oh, Sweet Jesus.

  • Negropolis

    Okay, I think it's about time that the president shut this thing down, already. Mitt fucked himself over for a good month, and eventually the media's going to turn due to bad news saturation for Romney. So, it's time to beat the turn and bury this fucker…with votes.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    I'm guessing at some point Mitt will say, "Well, there you go again, Barack!" fully aware that Ronald Reagan is as dead as his campaign.

    I wonder: Will Mittzy's handlers remember to switch off his Condescending Prick Mode?

  • DemonicRage

    The fact that this new idea comes on a day when, for the first time in the campaign, Romney remembers that he was Governor of Mass. and cites his health plan there as evidence that he does care about people (even though he has pledged to take health care away from 30 million Americans the first day he is in office) shows that we are dealing with someone who is literally stinking with desperation (the Stench!).

  • old_blu

    Someone needs to tell Romney "pot kettle"

  • ttommyunger

    Young Mittens must have watched the Flip Wilson Show one too many times. I know that's where I learned that "…a lie is just as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it."