i can see canada from my front porch

Totally Compassionate Paul Ryan Is Our New Quayle Palin

Mr. Cool DisguisePaul Ryan, boy genius, is running around the country now desperately trying not to get ripped limb from limb by olds in their Hoverounds. As a part of this bold new “don’t fucking kill me” plan, Ryan is trying to talk to the regular folk using things they really, truly understand: botched Bible quotes (that aren’t actually from the Bible, but probably Confucius, maybe?).

On Wednesday, in Ohio, Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny-starver from space, in the middle of a rote answer to a woman who was talking about being on welfare, an answer that was just inches from actually being human, said this:

“Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. Don’t feed fish.”

Many props to Esquire, as always, but the quote is *slightly* inaccurate. It was actually, “Teach a man to fish, he can feed himself for a life. Don’t feed fish.” Much better, obvs. WHOSE LIFE CAN HE FEED HIMSELF FOR? Obamacare fishing panels???

It’s okay, Paulie R. Eventually, every Republican vice presidential candidate turns into a slavering idiot, except for Dick Cheney, but that’s okay because we all know he was actually the president and Dubya was number two. Streak unbroken!

We should now look forward to the VP debate even more, especially when Biden hugs someone, then Ryan walks over and quotes great philosopher Bil Keane: “A hug is like a boomerang – I liked it in Crocodile Dundee.

Let us also note for a second how terribly, deeply patronizing it to tell a woman who wants to get off of welfare (you know, a 47% moocher) that how she should do it is just, you know, work hard, and maybe have someone show her how to be better at not being a disgusting know-nothing poor. When your major issue is a campaign is the concern that you really don’t care about people who are struggling (i.e., everyone without a reality show or the last name of “Romney”), perhaps the message of “stop being a useless fuck” is the worst possible thing you could say, even if you got the goddamn trite quote correct.

[Esquire]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barbara_

    Did he also tell the crowd that he built the hospital he was born in? He did, ya know.

    • eggsacklywright

      With tax cuts.

    • HELisforHEL

      In under 3 hours.

  • Tom

    Potatoe, potato, tomatoe, tomato….

    • Boojum

      Fish stew!

      • eggsacklywright

        Looks good from my perch over here.

        • glasspusher

          Suckers…

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Don't feed fish. WTF?

    • Boojum

      If you feed them, they will crowd around your beach house, just like the Poors on welfare.

    • eggsacklywright

      Krill libel!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They will become dependent, think they are victims, take no responsibility for their lives, and, worst of all, vote for Obama.

      • Lot_49

        Enfranchise Piscean-Americans now!

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Now that is unfair. We all know the poors are voting for Obama just, and only, because he is black.

        • BerkeleyBear

          I thought it was because he was part kraken.

          • sullivanst

            Stanley Ann Dunham libel!

            Oh, wait… sorry, I misread that.

          • bobbert

            Nice work, by cracky.

          • DahBoner

            Abe from Chicago?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Well you don't want the filthy poors gorging on fat fish now do you? Why do you hate America, if I might ask?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Oh, so now Lyin' Ryan wants to kill fish?!

    • Naked_Bunny

      FUCK THE FISH!

      Wait, that came out wrong

      • superdave

        Done and done. Anyone got a cigarette?

      • Isyaignert

        WC Fields: "I never drink water because fish fuk in it."

    • An_Outhouse

      Its well known that obesity in fish is a growing problem.

    • NYNYNYjr

      I think he was wandering -in his mind- to that metaphor republicans have about "feeding wild animals is like feeding black people, not good"

  • no_gravity

    The Romney Ryan campaign is already sleeping with the fishes.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Why do you think he told everyone else not to feed them? They won't nibble on Mitt unless they have no other choice.

      • NellCote71

        I imagine the fish are pretty much done feasting off OBL.

    • tessiee

      Troy McClure libel!

  • Terry

    Somebody is having a wee meltdown. Must be hard to be the Emperor right after you've been shown to have no clothes.

    • freakishlywrong

      Pokes mental eyes out.

    • Naked_Bunny

      Is this why we don't see more naked Obama pics?

      • BerkeleyBear

        I assume that's because the damn economy would go even further in the crapper – outside of the sale of swooning divans and copies of said picture.

        • Naked_Bunny

          Damned economy is ruining everything.

  • Biff

    Today, we are all fish food.

    • mrpuma2u

      Today, I think the Romney/Ryan campaign is looking more and more like a walleye at a Friday night fish boil in Kenosha.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Boil? I think you mean fry. Which is about the only way anyone in the midwest eats walleye.

        • shelwood46

          In Kenosha, probably fry. In Fish Creek, definitely fish boil.

          • mrpuma2u

            http://www.kenoshanews.com/news/new_fishing_event

            Down the page with entry of June 15

            4 p.m., Big Wally’s Door County Fish Boil. Tickets are $15, available in advance only, at the club, 5130 Fourth Ave.; Kenosha Harborside Bait and Tackle.

            QED dontcha know. Sadly we missed said epic culinary event.

        • tessiee

          Are we quite sure that he didn't mean "boil", as in, "Republicans are a boil on the ass of humanity"?

  • freakishlywrong

    That's his plan in a nutshell. Basically, nobody gets fed. Even the fish.

    • Terry

      The "job creators" overseas accounts get fed pretty well.

    • eggsacklywright

      He's obviously floundering. Got no sole.

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

        Given those poll numbers, you'd think by now they'd have changed their tuna.

        • BerkeleyBear

          Or at least stopped claiming they are all flukes.

        • iTuna

          I resemble that remark!

      • tessiee

        He's jumped the shark.

      • Negropolis

        He needs to get down from his high perch..

    • mmeetoilenoir

      Honestly, I'm suprised that this clown hasn't seen the whiting on the wall.

  • Boojum

    Teach a man to fish and he'll starve in the desert. Give a man a fish and he'll look at you like you're nuts.

  • Terry

    Poor fishes!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's OK … they have a way of shutting that whole thing down.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    So, the fish are the 47%, who should not be dependent on government for their food?

    • Boojum

      Soylent Green is fish food.

  • SwanSwanH

    Don't feed The Stench.

  • Poindexter718

    Why is Paul Ryan badmouthing American aquaculture?

    • no_gravity

      It was on his to do list. Next up street corner apple sellers.

  • JerkCade

    So once again I must ask: Does this look like a pair of dudes that are trying to win an election?

    • freakishlywrong

      No. It looks like a couple of smug assclowns stepping on their own dicks. I hope he loses his house seat as well.

      • JerkCade

        Wouldn't that just be the cherry on the sundae?

    • EatsBabyDingos

      I think they took Obama at 2-1 odds at Harrah's.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Hell, if I could have locked in those odds I would have. No one is taking that kind of sucker play.

    • CindynEncinitas

      The characters in Always Sunny in Philadelphia would come off better than these guys.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Again, Jus Wonderin is, well, typeless.

  • freakishlywrong

    The problem is, these idiotic orcs will STILL vote for these assholes.

    • Terry

      Because no matter how stupid, mean, and misguided Romney and Ryan are, they are still white.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

        27% of the state electorate voted for Alan Keyes. Just sayin'.

        • Terry

          He's one of the "ok ones".

          I can't tell you how many times I heard that when I was living down South.

          • tessiee

            It's not limited to the south, unfortunately.

    • mrpuma2u

      I hope you are wrong but fear you are right. The Mittens/Ryan strategy team must be playing "go fish" right now.

  • eggsacklywright

    This statement was approved by Rinse Preebus and his sisters, Spin and Soak.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      And his half-brother, Repeat.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Someone should stick a tree branch up Ryan's butt.

    (with votes)

    • James Michael Curley

      Since he is 6' 2" it has to be the right height.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Is he really that tall? He looks shorter to me. Maybe my opinion of the man is causing me to under estimate his height.

        • shelwood46

          That's how tall he says he is. He is actually 5'4".

        • tessiee

          Or the fact that he talks and acts like he's ten years old.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    "Fish Story" is actually a good nickname for Ryan.

    • eggsacklywright

      Methinks this is just a red herring.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Teach a man to fish and before you know it, stocks are depleted, fisheries collapse, and unemployed fishermen start clinging to their guns and religion.

  • badseeds

    And get up off your ass and cut down the mightiest tree in the forest. With a herring.

    • glasspusher

      Oh, please?

    • NYNYNYjr

      If the forest won't come to Mohammed, make a cartoon of Mohammed going to the forest.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    They've creeped out all the mammals, and now they've lost the fish vote.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      And, we all know they don't like the frogs.

      • no_gravity

        Or the limeys.

    • glasspusher

      Tunas are more warm blooded than Ryan.

  • LibertyLover

    But will the fish greet us as liberators?

  • FNMA

    Shorter Ryan, courtesy of Bud in Repo Man: "Ordinary fucking people. I hate 'em."

    • glasspusher

      "Ordinary people spend their lives avoiding tense situations. Repo man spends his life getting in to tense situations!"-

      Yep, sounds like another day on the campaign trail for Ryan.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Yep, and courtesy of Dubya, "Fool me once…um…uh…."

  • LibertyLover

    Don't they feed fish at fish farms?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Yes, but if the Rethugs win that will be illegal. The damn fish will have to feed themselves. No more government handouts. (Ah, yes. The Cannibalism of the Vanities)

    • glasspusher

      With gvt handouts, obvs.

  • eggsacklywright

    But if you give a man a huge bluefin tuna, he could retire.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Ok, fine — so why the fuck is Ryan giving me such a haddock?

    • LibertyLover

      Just for the Hallibut.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Ryan would like you all to quit carping about your health- and its -care for once~

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Tyipcal Republican, just ignoring the fact that ordinary Americans are floundering.

      • eggsacklywright

        He thinks he can skate, but eventually he'll get schooled.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      I think he's trolling.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Yeah, because Ryan is…uh…some kind of fish pun thing!!

      Nailed it!

      • JerkCade

        Score!

      • finallyhappy

        FTW!

    • Jus_Wonderin

      It is his one true special porpoise.

    • Lot_49

      Wait'll the campaign goes into turbot mode.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Cause 'es such an 'eel? (Said in bad Cockney accent).

    • bobbert

      Stench / Fishbreath 2012!!!

    • tessiee

      He makes me so crabby.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Teach a man to get fucked and he'll stick a fish up his ass.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      That's one interpretation of the LFMAO song. Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle.

      • BerkeleyBear

        I can't hear that (and I hear it a lot) without thinking it's them pointing at all the white boyz and saying wigga wigga wigga wigga wigga.

  • LibertyLover

    In many places that I've lived, I see the poor fishing from bridges and piers and stuff. So, um some poors already know how to fish, what they kinda need is good schools for their kids and a decent paying job so that they can buy some of those goods and services that Romney's Bain Capital outsourced to China.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Not to mention access to places to fish where the goddamn PCBs and mercury isn't so damn high.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Give an egotist dipshit an Ayn Rand novel, you disappoint him for a day.
    Make him read it, he will kill olds and wreck the tax base for life.

  • Lot_49

    If this former fitness instructor is gonna tell jokes, he should at least get them right. It goes like this:

    Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit all day in the boat drinking beer.

    And this guy is a Republican intellectual leader? Sheesh, talk about Bush league…

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Or:

      Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give a man religion and he will starve to death praying for a fish.

  • Indiepalin

    Feed a fish, starve a beaver.

    • An_Outhouse

      I thought it was 'eat a beaver'.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Later this year, they'll grind up their political careers into a fish food asset and sell it off.

  • SoBeach

    Poor Ryan. He thought he had a fool-proof way to win over the olds: "Your medicare won't change a bit. We're gonna really screw everyone ten years younger than you, but you're safe." The bajillionaire robot and the Randian figured the olds would be all "screw everyone else, I got mine" because isn't that how everyone is?

    Then the boos. And the confusion. Soon, the sad.

    • freakishlywrong

      I concur wholeheartedly, except for the "Poor Ryan" part.

    • Lot_49

      Cuz even us Olds can figure out that the Youngs won't keep paying into the system if they know it won't be there for them.

      Maybe if they could get Colin Powell to give a speech supporting the Ryan Plan at the UN.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Well, that and Obama made sure they got the sweet cream off the top of the ACA first, with closing the donut hole and increasing dollars spent on care. So the "screw the folks behind you" angle requires them to give back money to the government.

        You ever tried to get an old to give back anything (other than a screaming grandkid)?

        • Lot_49

          When they pry my cold, dead fingers off my Soshecurity check, sonny!

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      He should go to "The Villages" in Florida.
      They love a good zombie-eyed granny starver.

      (Is Esquire quoting Wonkette?)

  • qwerty42

    "Don't feed fish"???? WTF???
    Is it ok to sleep with them?

    • FNMA

      Actor Troy McClure (RIP) thought so.

    • eggsacklywright

      Let's ask bin Laden.

    • finallyhappy

      Many fish do not actually sleep- but I don't think that was your question

    • Naked_Bunny

      Yes, but wear protection.

  • Baconzgood

    Teach a man to fish and shame on, shame on you. Fool me, you can’t get fooled again.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    people who are struggling (i.e., everyone without a reality show or the last name of “Romney”)

    the romney / ryan campaign IS a reality show.

    and it's not getting picked up for a new season.

    • DahBoner

      Hi-yo!!!!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for an evening. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Okay, that made me snort. Damn you, Dok.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Teach a man to fish…

    And he'll probably die from mercury poisoning.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      …unless some libtard has fought against pollution.

    • tessiee

      Ha ha!
      When *women* get mercury poisoning, they become Governor of Alaska!

  • Dumbedup

    There are many ways to lose, graciously, or nobly, but also in spectacular fully public fail mode, when your brain stops working and you just say stupid shit and randomly scream at people as you flail and struggle and reboot and eventually fall into a heap and sob. RMoney and Little Dark Man are losing that way now.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    You know, the construction "feed himself for a life" is somehow very. fucking. creepy.

    • tessiee

      Most of the things that Rapey Eyes Ryan says are creepy.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I am not particularly tuned into the bible. Does anyone remember that story of that long haired dude that fed fishes and bready things to a bunch of folks???

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Yeah, but don't pay no attention to that guy. He was a socialist hippie.

      • LibertyLover

        Yeah, he wore sandals and a robe and had long hair. Probably didn't bathe either.

    • SoBeach

      I read that book. It had stuff where the same hippie tells people to do right by the least among us, talks about tolerance and loving your neighbor, and bs crap like that.

      It couldn't have been the Bible though. Pious American conservatives tell me the Bible is WAY different. And they should know.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I don't really think of Ronald McDonald as having long hair, but if you say so I'll believe it. Filet-o-Fishes are definitely fishy bready things eaten by a bunch of people.

  • dccajun

    Actually, the quote it: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; Teach a man to fish and he'll want a fucking boat.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Give a man a boat and his wife will divorce him. Give your wife a divorce and she will have to go on assistance. Give that exwife assistance and she will become a whore. Oh my…………this is slippery, slimey, scaley slope.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        On the other hand, you've got yourself a boat, and time for fishing.

        • BerkeleyBear

          But do you have beer money? Because otherwise who the fuck cares.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Teach a man to fish…

    Preferably in a charter school…

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      A Christian charter school, please. No Mooslims.

      • BerkeleyBear

        How can you tell if a fish is Mooslim? Does it always swim towards Mecca?

        • Dr_Zoidberg

          No, they just don't look….'American', ya know what I mean?

    • rickmaci

      "charter school"
      The man or the fish?

  • Doktor Zoom

    In other news, House Republicans voted to defund fishing education and to allow toxic waste dumping in all waterways.

  • fartknocker

    Great. This guy is now employing the favorite Word salad algorithms of Sarah Palin.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    But the blah president is blah.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      That's about all they have left to yell.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I can see the U.S.S.R. from my uninsured potatoe.

    • Gleem McShineys

      BUILD THE PIE HIGHER ON YOUR FAMILY

  • MacRaith

    Slightly OT, but perhaps not: I was once in a meeting where my boss actually said, "You can lead a horse to fish, or you can teach him to fish." I think he must be moonlighting as Ryan's speechwriter.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I'd be terrified my boss was having a stroke in that situation.

    • finallyhappy

      uh, was your boss named Chris? in Northern VA? Because it sounds like him

    • tessiee

      Your boss was Yogi Berra?

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      That really burns my goat. That was my favorite office quote from when I worked in an office.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    What did the fish ever do for us??

    • eggsacklywright

      Or, as the higher mammals said, "So long, and thanks for all the fish."

  • arduinohacker

    Hmmm, well, that old saying is kinda obsolete, the ocean fish stocks are down like 90%, and fresh-water fish tend to give you mercury poisoning, so the statement needs a little revision:

    "Teach a man to fish, and you're being sexist, speeding up the extinction of the whole aquatic food chain, and giving them the trembly forgetfulness for the rest of their life.

    • Biff

      Also, bicycles.

  • rickmaci

    You can teach a man to tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. Or something like that.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I found out where the stench is coming from:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRV03zQkBas

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    At last, a politician who understands how hard it is to put food on my family!

  • Mahousu

    There are probably over a hundred fish hatcheries in Wisconsin, with around a dozen in Ryan's own district. They might want to have a word with him.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Can a man drown in his own stupid words? As an aside, I am so proud that Obama is articulate. I used to literally cringe when W stepped up to a mic.

    • Isyaignert

      I got so I couldn't even look at that beady-eyed oily snake, let alone listen to him.

    • CindynEncinitas

      The one who really, really made me writhe in agony was Hank Paulson. The economy is in complete melt-down and he's babbling into the mic about "programs." Terrifying.

  • mbobier

    This was a grave insult to all piscine-Americans.

  • eggsacklywright

    We need to put fish on our families.

  • James Michael Curley

    Republican politicians – epically working to prove The Peter Principal.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      They're all dicks to begin with.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    I can see Canada from my front porch

    STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT US!!!!!

    • Isyaignert

      Haha – I was on a short cruise last week and we had dinner with another couple, a Russian high school exchange student and his Canadian host. The Russian brought up $arah Palin and her stupid comments about Russia and the whole table had a good laugh over it.

  • barto

    Yes, Paul, and how do you plan to pay the teachers?

    • Whollyholeyholy

      Loaves?

    • Isyaignert

      We pay doctors in chickens don't we?

    • MoeDeLawn

      At scale?

  • finallyhappy

    Thanks for all the fish!

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Next thing you know people want a Pell grant for their Wildlife and Fisheries degree. It's a slippery slope.

  • Misty Malarky

    Wow. Now even the fishies in my aquarium hate Ryan.

  • randomsausage

    Didn't Mao Tse Twat first say this?

    • Not_Mother

      Stench/ Wanda 2012

  • LibertyLover

    Is that anything like putting food on your family? Sounds fishy to me.

  • http://parterre.com La_Cieca

    Ryan is just doing a very clever Abe Vigoda riff.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_Cp7s-5CXM

  • MistaEko

    Give the trolls a gaffe and they shall pounce for a news cycle.
    Teach a doctrine of "fuck you I gots mines" and they shall feast for the whole campaign.
    Don't feed the trolls.

  • randomsausage

    What's next from this rube? "Mongo just pawn in game of life".

  • Biff

    Thanks for all none of the fish?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Give the poor food stamps, they'll just spend them on expensive sushi dinners when they need a break from sitting in front of their giant flat-screens.

  • DemonicRage

    Teach a man to stock a river with Asian carp to eat the plant life that has been clogging the waterways and, decades later, the whole fish chain of life is reduced to murky water and giant, repugnant Asian carp!

  • tessiee

    “Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. Don’t feed fish, blahs, or poorz.”

  • Nostrildamus

    Don't feed fish.

    … and don't forget to tip the scales.

  • tessiee

    How 'bout we feed Ryan to the fish? That would solve *two* problems.
    /ethnic

  • Nostrildamus

    Holy Mackerel!

  • DahBoner

    "I'm not an old country doctor, I'm a magician"

  • tessiee

    Ryan's even stupider than you think. He was *trying* to say "Carpe Diem".

    • eggsacklywright

      "Carpe Diem"

      That means eat a fish every day. I talk pretty French someday.

  • bobbert

    Okay, he misspoke. But, But, 57 states.

    Edit: Giant Font WTF?

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    Fish are people too, my friend…

  • Gleem McShineys

    Will the right wingnuts do their normal thing, and jump to his defense?

    I sure do look forward to pundits yammering on about morality and brine shrimp.

  • mavenmaven

    In this context its "teach a man to pish and you've saved a lifetime supply of depends"

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Maybe a stretcher, but it reminds me of the scene in Marnie, one of Hitchcock's great films, IMHO. Marnie has just tried to drown herself in the pool on the cruise ship and after Carey Grant fishes her out and gets her breathing he starts shouting at her about why did she try to drown herself in a pool when she's got an ocean all around her. She scowls at him and says "The idea was to kill myself – not to feed the damned fish."
    Julia Roberts couldn't deliver a badass line like that on her best day.
    Why does Paul Ryan hate fish?

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    You think I know fuck nothing. But I know fuck all!

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    Ryan looks like a bro, dude!

  • Guppy

    That's the thing about House members: they've never had to deal with a general election before. That primary shit don't work.

  • kingofmeh

    does anyone else think he looks eerily like michael stipe in this photo?

  • ChuckieJesus

    Everybody's goin' off about the friggin' fish… doesn't anyone have any kind of pith or witticism to spare about the fact that Ryan just cold said to that lady's face that her inability to get ahead was GOD GIVEN?

    "OH I'M SORRY MEMAW, BUT GOD WAS ONLY ABLE TO FILL YOU WITH A MINIMUM OF SKILL NECESSARY TO SURVIVE A KLEPTOCRACY" doesn't have a beat, and I can't dance to it.

  • randomsausage

    Letting a hundred retard flowers blossom and a hundred schools of stupid thought contend is the policy for promoting progress in The Republican Party

  • Negropolis

    But, Jesse, what else was Ryan to say? I mean, that is basically the platform of the Republican Party. They don't have any other advice for Poorz. Their Scripture (the Republican Party Platform) doesn't speak on Poorz.

  • Negropolis

    Fool me once, shame on, on…you. Fool me twice, Republicans…and…and…we won't get fooled again!

  • DocChaos

    Teach a man to fish and he'll quit his job and spend the whole goddamn day out on the boat drinking beer paid for with his "disability" check.

  • ttommyunger

    I know he's a Mackerel-Snapper, but his knowledge of the N.T. rivals that of Hebes….I know, I know, Paul Ryan just brings out the bigot in me..