she seems nice

Elegant Pajamas Media Lady Blogger: Jesus Would Hate Today’s Poor People, Who Should Be More Like In Dickens

The deserving poor, like this nice Fagin fellow!ATTENTION POOR PEOPLE: Pajamas Media blogger Kathy Shaidle would like you to stop being boozy crackheads who spend all your money on weaves and tacky club clothes, at once and now! Let us listen to the good lady’s gentle murmurs on the subject, as she has some Bible Science she would like to drop on us:

[To]day’s poor are often petulant, entitled, irresponsible, and ungrateful, caught up in a culture of crime and cheap thrills. Jesus ordered us to love the poor because He understood how hard it was to do, even 2000 years ago. But in 2012, I’d take that further: our “poor” have become the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

Congratulations, Kathy Shaidle! “Jesus: What a Fucking Idiot That I Know So Much More Than” is a very bold premise!

Now Kathy Shaidle would like to explain literature to you.

You might have noticed that today’s “poor” aren’t exactly the humble, wholesome, good-hearted types Charles Dickens championed, either.

(Back when “living” conditions in Victorian London were unspeakably appalling, Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor…)

So if we are understanding Kathy Shaidle — and we are, Blanche. We are — it was the appalling living conditions of Victorian England, where being murdered by a sociopath was preferable to Life itself, that made Charles Dickens’ characters (all of them, to a one! Those of you with lit doctorates might wish to take to the comments section to discuss!) such perfect specimens of fictional humanity. Should we perhaps institute Dickensian conditions for our own poor, so they will be good people instead of boozy crackheads, with weaves? Duh. Of course we should. Let them eat gruel!

What are the characteristics of the poor that keep them poor? Well, obviously they are Lazy, like the 40 percent of people in “deep poverty” (50 percent of the poverty-line income, or $11,500 for a family of four), who work. Kathy Shaidle was poor, but her mom worked, because she was not Lazy. But they were still poor? But they didn’t take welfare, and so Kathy Shaidle made something of herself, because she is not a boozy crackhead with a weave. (Kathy Shaidle is very much against booze, crackheads, and weaves.)

They have a Sense of Entitlement. Here Kathy Shaidle reproduces a chart that is impossible to parse, so fuck her. But it purportedly shows how a single mother who earns minimum wage and has two kids totally has it better than families living on $60,000 a year. That is just obvious. Also, fuck poor people for not paying taxes.

The poor have Poor Impulse Control. Look you guys! Kathy Shaidle has discovered the “Culture of Poverty,” which is a very true thing even though some liberals are still mad at Daniel Moynihan for discovering it! Of course, what angry grad students don’t understand is that the Moynihan Report and the resulting Culture of Poverty social science did not judge cultural characteristics like “lack of planning for the future” because they specifically said those characteristics were psychologically beneficial in many ways for those enduring poverty! Kathy Shaidle, on the other hand, does judge, and it has something to do with black people in Katrina, obviously, and how poor people (blacks) call Welfare Day “Mardi Gras.” (No they don’t.)

Because New Orleans is located below sea level — and its official motto is “Let the Good Times Roll.”

Individuals who voluntary [sic] reside in a flood zone and whose only “industry” is partying are ill-prepared for disaster.

And — humiliated when their ineptitude and learned helplessness is exposed to the world — they will lash out at both those who fail to help them, and those who try.

Universally: a refusal to plan ahead makes people poor and keeps them that way.

(Semi-universally: In metropolitan locales around the continent, the day the welfare checks come in is referred to by local recipients as “Mardi Gras”…)

Poor people typically spend what money they have on lots of cheap, disposable junk on a whim, instead of saving up for one good thing.

Stupid poor people, making bad decisions! Jesus would totally be like “what the fuck poor people, don’t you understand that it is cheaper to buy the big mustard than the small one, idiot?” (Yes, we did link twice to that Cracked story, because it’s awesome. Oh look, now we linked it three times!)

In conclusion, don’t be a boozy crackhead with a weave, or black, or poor, and get a bank account and stop being a fucking leech. That’s what Jesus wanted when he talked so much shit about the rich and said the poor were all going to heaven!

[PajamasMedia, via Wonket superoperative “chascates”]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  • BaldarTFlagass

    Can I have some more?

    • eggsacklywright

      Today's special: all you can eat gruel.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Ye got gruel?

        LOOXURY!

        When I was a lad, all we got ta et were cold gravel an' a beatin' from Dad!

        • eggsacklywright

          For 9 miles, through the snow. Backwards!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Oophell! In bot' d'rections! In 90 d'gree heat!

        • Close_Read

          When I was little I had to crawl five miles through the snow just to get to my yoga class.

    • Callyson

      Get a job, bum!

    • Gleem McShineys

      Sorry, rules are rules.

      You know, "Don't feed fish."
      (Especially mutant cat-shark-fish human-animal hybrids.)

    • Antispandex

      NO! You didn't say please! Shows how entitled you are…sorry.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    You had me at "Pajamas Media blogger."

  • nounverb911

    I bet Shaidle's ancestors were money lenders.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Slave owners.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Slave lenders AND money owners!

      • Weenus299

        Slave owners often laid down the "Lazy" card when the talk of abolition came on. I must emphasize that racism is, like the stupids, inbred, cross-generational, and the only way it can be stopped is by a whole lot of intense educational initiatives and a whole lot of interracial fucking.

        • Boojum

          Or a good plague.

        • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

          I'm on board with the interracial fucking, where do I sign up? Whatever I can do to help I would like to make a contribution however small (or large).

        • Biff

          Of course when it came time to sell a slave, they were anything but lazy, amirite?

        • Dimitrios_M

          The Bulworth Theory only works for racists. Taxing the rich until they also need to beg for gruel is the way it would work to stop class warfare

          Gray people eating gray gruel in a gray Dickensian landscape — I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a swig of Geritol today.

  • One_Man_Band

    Funny, she wishes the peasants acted more like they did in 18th century England. I wish they'd act more like the peasants in 18th century France.

    Robespierre these motherfuckers, already.

    • Weenus299

      True.

    • prommie

      Aux les barricades, mon fratre

      • bobbert

        Allons, citoyens

      • GeorgiaBurning

        Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité

    • dennis1943

      Yea,18th century……..how did that buggery thing work out for ya….?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Damn, and I can't knit. I can macrame, though.

      • Lot_49

        Macramé hangers are just thing to take your souvenir severed heads home from the guillotine!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      The good news is guillotines are portable now. We can come to them!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I love this comment. Unfortunately, Poorz seem to eat up blog posts like this – the Poorz hate Poorz.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    She needs to hook up with that rich Australian slag. Or maybe it's her, using an alias.

  • freakishlywrong

    Wow. Teach the poor to fish, or something?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Teach the poor to fish and the rich can't have caviar.

    • Weenus299

      Saith the Apostle Paul Ryan.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Your autocorrect obviously mangled pustule.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Teach 'em to fish and they'll die from mercury poisoning.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    47% of us think she is a a gross gras pig.

  • banana_bread

    And what the hell, poors! You demand gubmint wheelchairs for your disabled kids, when all Tiny Tim needed was a CRUTCH. Lazy, entitled whiners.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      When a poor child sneezes, he has already blessed himself, so no need for God to bless him.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    What Would Jesus Blog.

    I'm trying to figure out which Dickens villain she resembles the most…

    • One_who_wanders

      She is too over the top for a mere Dickens villain. . . .more like a cartoon villain.

      • Dimitrios_M

        She’s the love child of Bill Sykes and Harold Skimpole.

    • banana_bread

      Scrooge?

      • finallyhappy

        one night turned him around- and he didn't use religion as a crutch either. So no- not Scrooge. I'm not looking it up so I don't remember his name- but there is the guy in Bleak House who abandoned his family and keeps taking money from others- saying "I am a child" "Money means nothing to me" while denigrating others(I think I have it right- English majors, Teachers, someone who wants to search on Google). A bad guy who pretended to be good

        • ChapterUndVerse

          Skimpole. And a fine, bendy, scaly character he was, akin to the fish the poor aren't eating. I've always seen him as a wide-eyed disingenuous ingenue, like Paul Ryan pretends to be.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Cruella de Ville

      Don't contradict me with your "facts," librul.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Uriah Derp.

    • eggsacklywright

      Meester Beeg!

    • bobbert

      Cthulhu

  • Boojum

    Blessed are the Poor, unless they have no Money.

    • eggsacklywright

      And they're UNGRATEFUL for what? Their poverty?

      • Boojum

        Yes! Do not the Poor know how hard the job creators had to work to give them their grinding poverty? Show them some gratitude!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          It builds character.

      • Dimitrios_M

        Yes, that’s my besetting sin. I’m not grateful enough for my poverty.

    • FakaktaSouth

      "Oh, it's blessed are the MEEK! Oh, I'm glad they're getting something, they have a hell of a time."

  • SoBeach

    I am always amazed at the way some people can so arrogantly flip karma the bird.

    • emmelemm

      I am struck by the absolute truth of this comment

    • Lot_49

      We tempt the gods at our peril.

      Or as they also used to say, "Payback is a motherfucker."

    • Biff

      I still can't believe I was so fucking bad in a past life to deserve what I got handed to me this time around!

      • tessiee

        "What did I do
        To get someone like you?
        When the Karma wheel broke free,
        It laid a big skid mark on me.
        I must have done something bad awhile back,
        You've got more loose screws than a Radio Shack.
        What did I do to get one like you?"
        — Reverend Billy C. Wirtz

        • Biff

          Damn, I miss the Rev's Sunday night radio show on KPIG.

  • FNMA

    That's some fine satire.

    OK, which of you guys is this "Kathy Shaidle" person?

    It is satire, right?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      We'll need a ruling from Roger Hell Simon.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      PLEASE let it be satire!!
      (Wonkette, why do you hate me?)

    • herecomedajudge

      the modest proposal kind of satire……whats a kid with a hair weave and cell phone worth?

  • forgracie

    I distinctly remember Jesus saying, "Blessed are the rich for they are the jerb creators." Teh Wonkette Bible is out of date.

    • kittensdontlie

      Verily I sayest unto you, it is easier for a rich man to smoke a Camel, than to needle a poor man about his eyebrow weave.—Marcus 64oz

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Sweet zombie Jesus, I hate these insensitive fucks.

  • no_gravity

    Needz moar decrease the surplus population.

  • Schmannnity

    Those biblical poor were always getting hammered on Cana wine and listening to Schmuel Goaty Goat.

    • jodyleek

      Favorite Schmuel GG tune: "Gin and Jews".

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Hasn't he recently changed his name to Schmuel Ram?

        • jodyleek

          True but he still has his mind on his shekels and his shekels on his mind.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Well, Jesus was a smug, self-satisfied little bastard with his "teach a fish to eat" stuff.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    I think we have our Ghost of Humanity Passed.

  • emmelemm

    Cheap thrills indeed.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Shaidle Shaidle Shaidle, Her head made of clay
    Shaidle Shaidle Shaidle, she wants the poors to go away.

    • SaintNixon

      So good. That's a funny zinger!

    • oenspiek

      It's even funnier if you imagine it being sung by Arnold Schwarzenegger!

  • FakaktaSouth

    As the big guy said, "people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me"
    JC, Mark 7:6

    This bitch wouldn't be happy even if folks started having body parts fall off like REAL poors from Jesus' time. What's with these people? All leaving their parts all over the place, expecting other people to pick them up just cause they ain't got no hands?

    I hate people.

    • Boojum

      It's their own fault, for being morally weak enough to get leprosy.

    • prommie

      Just damn, how the hell did you do that, with a red letter passage too. We're soo going to hell.

      • FakaktaSouth

        I'm starting to think that's what this is here already. Just hell on Earth for reals with these terrible people.

    • cheetojeebus

      I'll just drop this bit of wisdom here. http://goo.gl/gPhHo

      William Steig btw

    • Biff

      No hands for fapping? Finally, someone worse off than me, Glory!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Please, please tell me this person lives in a parallel universe (and that it is scheduled for immediate destruction [by Jesus himself]).

    • eggsacklywright

      Or the Vogons.

      • One_who_wanders

        Galactus – Devourer of planets.

      • commiegirl99

        They could drop some Vogon poetry on her. But I think her columns might be worse?

        • shelwood46

          I think Vogon poetry might be a nice euphemism for conservative "prose".

    • BoroPrimorac

      She's a Canadian conservative, nuff said.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    [To]day’s poor are often petulant, entitled, irresponsible, and ungrateful, caught up in a culture of crime and cheap thrills

    It seems quite a bit like projection….

    [To]day’s 1%ers and their succubus followers/enablers are often petulant, entitled, irresponsible, and ungrateful, caught up in a culture of crime and cheap thrills.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      EXPENSIVE thrills.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        For taxpayers…

        The 1%ers are cheap fucks. Look how they get us to subsidize all their shit. Every sports stadium for example.

    • Mojopo

      Kinda makes you wonder what Kathy does for fun on weekends, huh?

  • anniegetyerfun

    Is it cool to be a middle class person with poor impulse control, a weave, and a crack habit? Because I've been enjoying this lifestyle for a while and am not sure that I want to change it up anytime soon.

    • finallyhappy

      my problem with weaves(I don't have one) is I sometimes find parts of them at the museum, walk past them on the street and see them on the ground at the mall. Why is that? OR is it old people like me losing real hair(but then it wouldn't be in a clump or a braid)

      • anniegetyerfun

        Hm, weaves are usually pretty well secured (you know, “woven” in). Are you thinking of extensions?

        • finallyhappy

          Yes, that could be. The last hair addition I really knew about were "falls"- hair (probably vinyl or something- it was really shiny) attached to a head band that you attached to your real hair with bobby pins and such. – The 60's!! So I don't know what a weave is – I guess I will look it up. That is why God created the internet- so I could look up all this newfangled stuff.

          • anniegetyerfun

            You know, I could be wrong – “weave” might be a very general term that applies to extensions as well. It's been a while since I actually paid attention to these things (seriously, I keep my hair cut incredibly short because I lose so much of it on a daily basis and I hate vacuuming).

  • SystemError

    Slightly OT: How Dare Wonkette tempt this East Coaster with Del Taco ads. I gotta go to South Carolina or Ohio to get my El Schorcho on, and even though Del Taco is best consumed drunk, I ain't that drunk.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I hear ya. I am getting a Portland, OR bookstore ad. Sure, I read, but driving from Texas to Oregon is asking A LOT from me.

      • banana_bread

        Ah, but Powells is also a wondrous presence on the internets. Lots of used books. My PDX friends tell me the actual store is the eighth wonder of the world.

        I am not getting Del Taco ads, though. The closest I get is a mysterious Spanish-language ad telling me to install Flash. (On an iPad, that shit ain't happening)

        • emmelemm

          The actual store is the eighth, ninth and tenth wonders of the world. It's that awesome.

          • bobbert

            Oh, I dunno. It's a pretty good bookstore, but it needs an attached brewpub.

          • emmelemm

            At least it has a coffee shop. (Doesn't it?)

    • BaldarTFlagass

      that reminds me. I'll be here in an hour: http://www.donpedro.net/san-antonio-mexican-resta
      Mmm. lunch margaritas.

      • SystemError

        C'mon, you're on the southside and not going to Rolando's Super Tacos?

        • BaldarTFlagass

          rolando's es muy bueno, but see the last sentence of my post.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Yeah why aren't today's poor a bunch of lovable moppets who spontaneously break into song while working their little pre-adolescent fingers to the bone on the chimneys of London's row houses? I think they got full of themselves because of Dickens and that Mary Poppins crap, and by the time of James Joyce they were a bunch of stinking thieves.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Best antidote to Dickens fawning stereotypes of the London poor is Jack London's "People of the Abyss". The REAL face of victorian poverty.
      Dickens was a great author, but in person he was a vile little shit. Too many Dickophiles confuse the fiction with the fact..

      • Doktor Zoom

        I think you're confusing the movie versions of Dickens with the actual thing.

        As was Shaidle.

  • prommie

    Oh Rebecca its so nice to see you genuinely morally appalled and affronted by this fucking shit. These people, the modern 'conservatives," would SOOOOO crucify Jesus if he appeared among them today, they would not hesitate a second, they would regard him as a monster, they would go all Godwin and declare him worse than Hitler, and they would strap him to gurney and put him down like a dog while evil soulless pigfucking dregs of society hold a pro-death penalty rally across from the prison and celebrate the murder of their savior.

    • FakaktaSouth

      It is a very weird thing to see, the way they glorify Jesus to hate everything he ever stood for. It's like being all about Ronald Reagan cause they would NEVER work with Democrats or talk to other countries diplomatically or being a black, Hispanic, woman, gay or Muslim (Or all five!) AND a Republican or just every other stupid backasswards wrong thing they actually do every day.

      • prommie

        Its like they all live on fucking opposite world, the way they constantly screach and scream and brag and carry on about loving THEIR own Jesus who is THEIR own personal savior that they personally have this personal relationship with because its all about their best friend Jeebus that loves them soooooo much, but they don't get it at all. They don't just not get it, they get it totally opposite. Completely totally opposite. They worship a man who preached complete forgiveness and love and rejection of riches, and they practice hate and judgment and greed. They make up shit like "tough love." Jesus would puke first, if he ever heard of shit like that, and then he just might be a little less forgiving and start smiting some.

        • FakaktaSouth

          I do like this Jesus fellow, it's just all his followers that blow, or whatever the quote actually was. I'm down for some smiting too though.

          • eggsacklywright

            Paraphrasing, "I like your Christ, your Christians not so much."

        • tessiee

          "the way they constantly screach and scream and brag and carry on about loving THEIR own Jesus who is THEIR own personal savior that they personally have this personal relationship with because its all about their best friend Jeebus that loves them soooooo much, but they don't get it at all"

          Also, they have a particular way of saying "Jesus" like he's their cousin who lives in the same trailer park.

    • finallyhappy

      ok, so I am Jewish and I am telling this awful joke. Jesus returns and comes to a synagogue- because he was a Jew. And the guy who opens the door says " Shmuel, get the nails- he fell down" Ok- and now time for a pogram.

    • herecomedajudge

      Jesus said there is a new law "love". Talk about a four letter word lost in translation

      • FNMA

        "Love" apparently means "fuck" in their language, as in "fuck the poor."

        • herecomedajudge

          or, maybe "shit on the poors"….or maybe, "why are you so fucking poor you shithead?"

  • Baconzgood

    "our “poor” have become the “rich” Jesus warned us about."

    Man oh man. You must of missed the day they taught Jesus in Sunday school.

    • el_donaldo

      I thought that <"people I don't like – fill in the blank here" are the ''rich'' Jesus warned us about> was the first lesson.

      • dennis1943

        Maybe this is why he feels he needs to come back a second time……..

        • Stevola

          ""I'll be back," sayeth Jesus, ominously, with an Austrian accent.

    • ChapterUndVerse

      No, no, no, they learned about this Jesus, the real one, who approves of them, and whose death was shouted for by teh poorz of His time, proving that Jesus should have toed the party line, in public school.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    But in 2012, I’d take that further: our “poor” have become the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

    Arbeit macht frei, Kathy?

  • bureaucrap

    "And Jesus spake unto the multitude saying, 'Frigging losers — It's your own da*n fault you're destitute. Now look at our good friend Pontius Pilate over there. He worked hard, played by the rules, and now he's provincial governor! Be more like HIM!"

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    our “poor” have become the “rich” Jesus warned us about.

    Needz moar "uppity".

    • Lot_49

      Pretty sure "poor" and "African-American" are synonyms in the writer's lexicon. She's being politically correct by not saying "nigger," and is bitterly resentful that she must do so.

  • Indiepalin

    You made that part up about Jack the Ripper, didn't you ? ! ?

    • Swampgas_Man

      I was just thinking how much I'd like to see Jack pay Kathy a visit.

      W/ VOTES, of course.

  • Weenus299

    When encountering a poor, always think, WWKD? And then pour gasoline on the lazy fucker, strike match, drop, and run.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The dark ages have now become "the good old days".

    Jesus Christ on a fucking pogo stick. Just stop. Make it stop.

    • Lot_49

      Well you never heard anyone complaining about the cost of health care, didja? Splints were cheap, leeches could be found on the bottom of every stream, and it wasn't too long before they invented bullets to bite on during the amputations.

      Today's Poors want MRIs, heart transplants, prenatal care, and treatment for Type 1 diabetes. Whiners!

    • BarryOPotter

      Their struggle against (the) Enlightenment is how many centuries old now?

    • UnholyMoses

      I'm about ready to ask someone to pull this planet over so I can get off of it …

    • HogeyeGrex

      "Bring out yer dead!"

    • emmelemm

      Hold me, I'm scared.

  • el_donaldo

    I think we can put skullfucking back on the table comment-wise, I mean, if it's going to be doing Kathy Shaidle a favor and all.

    • eggsacklywright

      Yes, skullfucking can replace Nancy Pelosi. She should be off the table.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      To call her a retard would be insulting a certain Alaskan named after a gunn part.

    • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

      Schädel (Ger.) = skull

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    I dunno… there *are* some lazy motherfuckers down here in SC….

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      That Nikki Haley sure manages to live well off the government teat.

      • Peckerwood_Pete

        From the front porches to the Governor's mansion….. the SC teet is getting sucked raw…

  • zumpie

    So I guess she never watched Masterpiece Theater or even Copper on BBCAmerica, huh?

    Reminds me of a nice lady on a FB thread calling the Prez a "scum sucker". Along with insisting "being a stay at home mom IS a job" (to her grown children), her own FB page was COVERED with pictures of Jesus ministering to little children. Cause we all know the lord is all about publicly defaming others without any basis.

  • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

    Look how good the poors have it. I bet they can even afford their own torches and pitchforks.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      In my day, the poor had to break off a tree branch for a torch.

    • Pithaughn

      don't even need to "afford". the cast offs available in the average construction site roll off can easily be converted to weapons of urban guerrilla war fare, if voting does'nt seem to be working. It seems to me people are starting to catch on that the US does not really have a democracy anymore and will eventually want to replace the soul sucking oligarchs with leaders that are only half evil.

  • fartknocker

    Any website that promotes the social theories of Adam Corolla and Dennis Miller is already suspect and knee deep in pure horseshit.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      who?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Back when “living” conditions in Victorian London were unspeakably appalling, Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor…

    And Jeffrey Dahmer was merely helping America solve its obesity crisis! John Wayne Gacy was leading pedophiles from temptation!

    • zumpie

      And Ted Bundy showing those sluts that virtue really does pay!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        And Charles Manson was proving there's no hope in dope!

    • Lot_49

      At least Jack was doing legitimate disembowelment of his victims.

      Plus he killed 'em so they couldn't file a health insurance claim. Damn heroic public servant if you ask me.

    • emmelemm

      Also, they were whoorz, so they deserved what they got.

  • barto

    So, in summary, Kathy doesn't have great expectations for the poors (har!).

    • Boojum

      As long as she doesn't get her knickers in a Twist.

      • eggsacklywright

        Her house must be very bleak.

    • ChapterUndVerse

      Give her time. I'm sure she'll make a modest proposal.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    A wretched individual discussed her prejudices followed by some lies to justify them. Sounds like the Romney/Ryan campaign.

  • Mojopo

    Pajamas Media, where Jack the Ripper was an angel of mercy. Correction to the author's name. Pretty sure it's Kathy Wayne Gacy.

  • Doktor Zoom

    It's pretty ironic, seeing as how she sounds exactly like a Dickens villain

    • sullivanst

      Surprised she didn't actually ask whether there were no poor houses.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Time to institute my new business idea.

    "The Joy of Cooking: Gruel and Roadkill Addition"
    "NOW WITH 50% MORE HOBO BEAN RECIPES!"

  • rickmaci

    I honestly tried to read PajamasMedia, but found it impossible. Let me know when they publish an English translation.

  • prommie

    You know the only moral evil the modern conservative movement still seems to resist somehow is eugenics. I wonder why that is? They have no problem with racism, sexism, religious bigotry and intolerance, greed, cruelty, neglect and indifference to suffering, selfishness, violence, war, and genocide. But somehow they do avoid that one thing, eugenics, and that despite the history, what with the Bush clan being in the forefront of the eugenics movement in the US early on. I suppose its because eugenics requires birth control and could lead to abortion. So its really just the fetus-worshippers accidentally preventing the conservatives from going full Hitler.

    • Lot_49

      No health care for the Poors = slow eugenics.

    • ChapterUndVerse

      They'll fix that as soon as the Genome Project finds out which alleles are responsible for making sheeple people from you people. Then the 1000-Year Reich can begin in earnest.

    • Ruhe

      You could argue that the "Quiver-full" movement in conservative Christian circles (have as many babies as possible) is a prescriptive rather than prohibitive version of Eugenics. We won't try to stop the ones with the bad genes from reproducing, rather we'll just get the ones with the good genes to breed faster.

    • Biff

      They shun eugenics because it was practiced by the godless socialist Nazis, so it's a left-wing proposition, obvs.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    You know what I hate about the poor? The fucking stench!

    What? That's Mitt Romney? My bad, carry on.

  • Baconzgood

    I read that whole thing (almost) and I gotta say I'm positive that this whore is a cunt.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I believe that opinion would hold up in the Supreme Court, of Pajamas.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      The Appelate Court of Lingerie would dissent

    • eggsacklywright

      The Emperor of Ice Cream concurs.

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    wait… does this mean the poor have become the "money changers"?

  • docterry6973

    Compliments to our skillful (and hawt) editrix for pounding out a dozen paragraphs critiquing a blog post that deserves 900 pages of outrage. Truly, brevity is the soul of wit. And snark.

  • AddHomonym

    (People to bitch about) the poor you will always have with you.

  • hagajim

    I just hate it when people who have never been poor (maybe in their minds) carry on about how lazy the poor are. I actually have been poor and then I was I worked a lot fucking harder than I do now….I was fortunately smart enough to get one of those snobby college edumications so I am no longer poor….bitch.

    • BoroPrimorac

      I put them in the same category as those who say all poor people are thieves.

  • CalvinsChoice

    Any time they want, poor people can get a chauffeured vehicle to come to their apartment and take them to the most expensive lodgings in town. All they have to do is have a heart attack.

    • shelwood46

      Don't worry, there's a plan for that, too: cut the budget enough so those vehicles don't get there until after the poor croaks.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Ambulances used to be actual Cadillacs. Now they're likely to be Ford vans.

      • bobbert

        Well, they do have more stuff inside them now.

  • Terry

    Charles Dickens grew up in the shit conditions he describes and rails against in his work. Kathy, by contrast, gets her views on the poor from reading GOP talking points.

    I wish that Dickens could arrange a good haunting for her.

    • freakishlywrong

      Yes. Get paid a visit by the Ghost of Christmas Never, bitch.

  • freakishlywrong

    I want my country back.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Hey, we are NOT going to just give you a country. Build your own country, buddy.

  • MacRaith

    Because New Orleans is located below sea level — and its official motto is “Let the Good Times Roll.”

    Well, that's Bobby Jindal's fault, isn't it? I mean, he's governor of Louisiana, so he's responsible for all the bad things there, just like Barack Obama is responsible for all the bad things in the US because he's president. I mean, didn't anyone tell Jindal that is was daft to build a city in a swamp? Talk about not planning for the future…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    You know, the whole problem with the poors today can be traced back to one thing, TOO MUCH HEALTHCARE! You heard me. Ever since we got rid of "consumption", "the pox" and "the bloody flux" the poors have gotten so fucking uppity. We need to bring back all of the old timey diseases. That will solve this whole poor people mess!

    TYPHUS/BUBONIC PLAGUE 2012!

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Needz moar RATZ!!!

  • neiltheblaze

    Jesus would hate American Christians, for starters.

    • BarryOPotter

      American Christians: All Religion, No Piety. None.

  • Nesnora

    So according to her logic it's much better being fucked to death with knives, and also this is merciful and what Jesus wanted? I'm still baffled by the Jack the Ripper comment.

  • Estproph

    I now understand why that site is called Pajamas Media. There is absolutely no point in putting forth the effort to get dressed to write crap like that.

  • patco13

    She is the perfect person to rejuvenate Willard's campaign. New head speech writer. Already dresses in pajamas too.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Here's a nice article arguing that Dickens actually just wanted people to be individually nice, and was not calling for big reforms.

    "Let’s look without preconceptions at Scrooge’s allegedly underpaid clerk, Bob Cratchit. The fact is, if Cratchit’s skills were worth more to anyone than the fifteen shillings Scrooge pays him weekly, there would be someone glad to offer it to him. Since no one has, and since Cratchit’s profit-maximizing boss is hardly a man to pay for nothing, Cratchit must be worth exactly his present wages."

    "A Christmas Carol exemplifies, on a personal level, what Dickens was really arguing for. He was not calling for state intervention, nor for economic regulations. Instead, he argued on behalf of personal philanthropy. In the end, Scrooge helps Tiny Tim not because of socialist ideals, but because his humanity is reawakened, causing him to care for this child."

    • prommie

      They get Dickens as wrong as they get Jesus.

    • jodyleek

      The little match girl had a shitty business plan, also, too.

    • frostbitefalls

      And here is George Orwell. from whom I suspect the nice article writer cribbed some points. http://www.george-orwell.org/Charles_Dickens/0.ht

      • Doktor Zoom

        Excellent point! I read that years ago; thanks for the reminder!

        Of course, the key difference is that Orwell is critiquing Dickens for failing to be a socialist, and this asshat is praising Dickens for "recognizing" that capitalism works real good, and that the only failings in the system are those of individual morality.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    It's in Jesus' name she puts down the poor and worships the rich? Well, the collection plate bottom line does justify it.

    • BarryOPotter

      Upton Sinclair addressed it thusly: "'Religion' in this sense is a source of income to parasites, and the natural ally of every form of oppression and exploitation."

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Needz moar camels being choked in the eyes of needles.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this woman is a canadian, used to be a self described 'anarcho peacenik', has been published by 'lowlife publishing' and is now a refound Catholic.

    that is all.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    I might not know who the"new type" of poor are, but I sure as hell know a bitch when I see one.

    • prommie

      I know when a bitch needs cutting, too.

      • Gleem McShineys

        You'd be doing her a favor, Jack!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    The poor have Poor Impulse Control. + Kathy Shaidle was poor = Kathy Shaidle's latest column

    QED

  • docterry6973

    Stop being a boozy crackhead? Success ain't worth it.

  • sbj1964

    Jesus told people to leave their fields,homes,wives,children,and not to worry about food ,or money as the birds do;all will be provided for in the coming kingdom.Not very good with money either Judas was his CFO.

  • LibertyLover

    Why do Christianists always skip over Mathews 25 when they are expounding on the poor?

    • DahBoner

      100% of The Bible is True, except for 100% of the parts They Don't Like…

  • BlueStateLibel

    The Victorian poor were "wholesome" and "humble" – yeah, except when they were drowning themselves with gin or selling their bodies. Anyway, hateful witch is hateful. May karma find its way quickly to her doorstep.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Let's also pray that Karma has not upgraded to the iPhone 5.

  • LibertyLover

    God Bless us, Every one!

    (Tiny Tim didn't have universal health care then, but guess what? England has it now. Don't they? And fewer Tiny Tims.)

  • UnholyMoses

    To: Kathy Shaidle

    Fr: Someone who has wondered in the past if he should buy food, or pay rent, or pay the electrical bill.

    Re: Your recent post on PJM

    Dear Ms. Shaidle,

    Thank you for proving that you've never known want—never known the Look of Shame of everyone in the unemployment office … or suddenly been laid off because the policies YOU supported imploded the world economy and made donations for Habitat for Humanity dry up when they were, in fact, most needed … or tried to figure out how to make $50 stretch far enough to feed four people for a week …

    Instead, you sit in front of computer belching forth insults about people you wouldn't touch without bathing in Purell afterward (lest The Poor rub off), apparently unaware that 80% of those in poverty have full-time jobs.

    That's right—they're not just lazy layabouts you stupid fucking bitch.

    They simply weren't born to the right parents … or they couldn't get a job on the Wingnut Welfare circuit, like your useless ass did … or they went to a school that's failing because it had 70% of its funding cut so the rich don't have to pay an extra 3% on their marginal tax rate … or they have seen every decent paying job for non-college types shipped overseas so Mittens' can get a bit extra on his next dividend payment.

    So for you to demand they grovel before their betters isn't just morally abhorrent—it also makes you look like one of the most cold-hearted cunts to ever have lived. And for that, we all invite you to go fuck yourself with a splintered baseball bat right after eating a bag of lightly salted rat dicks.

    Sincerely,

    Those Of Us Who Have Been There

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Tell me, please, that you DID click "send".

    • BarryOPotter

      Please tell me you sent it.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Judgmental name-calling is soooooooooo much better than a serious discussion about poverty in America. As everyone knows, if you talk about it, you gets the poorz cooties infection!

  • TootsStansbury

    I didn't click the linky but I can hear the dog whistles all the way over here.

  • UnholyMoses

    As someone with at Lit degree, her reading of Dickens is such a goddamn farce it's not even worthy of comment.

    Instead, she just gets an F-.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Jesus Christ: What an Asshole!

  • gullywompr

    So, let's send Ripper squads to New Orleans, because kindness?

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    I wish I were more surprised that conservatives consider Dickens' version of London an ideal socioeconomic construct.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    hey kathy: according to your book, the poor are going to inherit the earth.

    and i'm pretty sure they're not going to want to give any of it to you.

  • Radiotherapy

    The Dead Kennedy's sang it best:
    ♫ ♬ Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill the Poor ♫ ♬

  • Doktor Zoom

    She needs to meet Sam Vimes:

    “The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

    Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

    But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

    This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”

  • Terry

    "Individuals who voluntary [sic] reside in a flood zone and whose only “industry” is partying are ill-prepared for disaster."

    Tourism is a perfectly reasonable industry in MANY cities, quite a few of which are also located in flood zones.

    This article has to be satire, doesn't it?

  • Pithaughn

    Wow. What a sanctimonious person. Her first response that a small plane had hit the world trade center " tssk, another Kenedy". Which she read on Drudge, need we know more?
    And she can't count, her blog is titled the 3 things poor do to stay poor or some such and then lists 4 traits : Gluttonous, slothful, irresponsible and entitled.

    • Mojopo

      This woman gives me the creeps. I bet she poops in stranger's cars, or something really way out there.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Kathy is nothing if not a typical stereotyper.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Remind me again how suggesting that maybe the wealthiest millionaires should go back to the top marginal tax rates they had in 1999 is CLASS WARFARE.

  • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

    It's amazing how a Canadian poet can know so much about US poverty:

    "Kathy Shaidle (born 7 May 1964) is a Canadian author, columnist, poet and blogger. A self-described "anarcho-peacenik" in the early years of her writing career, she moved to a conservative, Roman Catholic position following the attacks of September 11, 2001, and entered the public eye as the author of the popular RelapsedCatholic blog." Wiki

    • bobbert

      So, presumably the early years of her writing career were the late 80s and the 90s. What was she peaceniking about, do you think? Bosnia? Gulf War 1?

      • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

        She got really sick and probably went off the deep end.

    • FNMA

      I guess that socialist health care in Canada doesn't cover psychotropic medications. Who knew?

      • http://matthewgreenbaum.com swordfis

        !!!!

  • sullivanst

    Cracked story was awesome, but made me cry.

    Not going to read the cracker's story, because it will likely make me shout, and I'm at work.

  • DahBoner

    cheap thrills

    Nah. Those Old Timey Jews were even more into cheap thrills.

    Remember when Jesus fed the multitudes with just a couple of fish and one little pathetic loaf of bread?

    Did anyone in The Bible leave a generous tip????

    I DON'T THINK SO

  • Nesnora

    Stay tuned for her next articles:

    Witch Burning: Brutal Sadistic Murder Porn or the Gentle Hand of Jesus?
    Child Labor: Crippling Exploitation of the Innocent or Kids Just Pitchin' In?
    Slavery: Barbaric Racial Oppression or Aggressive Housekeeping Makeover?

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    I have to wonder if she did all her research for this article on the KKK website.

  • Callyson

    Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor…

    That's OK, they were poor anyway.

    Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

  • Biff

    Jesus Fuck, why should I plan for a future that doesn't even exist yet?

  • An_Outhouse

    petulant, entitled, irresponsible, and ungrateful pretty much summarizes Mitt Romney. Since he doesn't pay taxes to boot, he's effectively a dark skinned, crack whore. Why is the GOP promoting a crack whore for President.

  • An_Outhouse

    Look, Wonkette has implemented rules infringing on the commenters' free speech. All we ask in return is NO LINKS TO PJ MEDIA!!!!!

  • notanncoulter

    If this is not a sick joke of an article [and apparently it's not] this is one of the most ignorant and obnoxious things I've ever seen. Ever. This is even beyond Rush/Hannity obnoxious.

    Reminds me of a line from an episode of "Taxi" wherein Alex was describing Louie to someone:
    "You know when you pick up a rock, and there's all those things underneath that make you go 'ick'? Louie makes those things go 'ick'."

    I feel sick reading it.

  • HELisforHEL

    OMFG who is this horrible woman? WTF.

  • HELisforHEL

    OK, I did a quick look on Wiki, because I just don't have the time or inclination to look at her stupid shit-blog. Apparently another in the endless line of "I used to be a Liberal and then September 11, blah blah blah Nevah Fergit, etc., etc., etc."…
    I am sick to death of the lot of them.
    No, I doubt you were a Liberal like you contend. You were probably another dope who never paid attention to anything political and then in an attempt to understand what happened on that day–and without any curiosity regarding the motivations and the Very Real Possibility that the US is not beloved by all for a number of reasons (and NO I am NOT advocating what the terrorists did)–you decided like so many asshats in the Vietnam era that "My country, right or wrong" would work for you (even though you appear to be a Canadian citizen, so wtf-ever).
    Gah, in essence, STFU forever, Kathy Shaidle. Go away forever, off a short pier, off a gangplank…
    In votes.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    "Jesus ordered us to love the poor because He understood how hard it was to do, even 2000 years ago."

    Yeah, there's nothing harder than not hating people because they don't have much money.

  • a_pink_poodle

    I don't remember Jesus adding qualifiers to the Poor catagory.

  • Cheburashka64

    This attitude towards the poor is precisely the reason they took two of his villains and put them on their ticket.

  • tessiee

    Shorter Kathy Schaidle:
    "Blah blah blah yak yak yak sitting around on their porches you notice they always have money for cigarettes"

  • tessiee

    "And how do they ever get warm enough to sweat, anyway? It just proves that poor people will never miss a chance to smell bad."

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I don't see his magical flute and why is he dressed up all funny?

  • CommieDad

    Jesus, we need you. You see, like 2000 years ago, God's message has been co-opted by the powerful. The rich, instead of reading your good words, make up shit about how you would hate the poor and love the repubs because, you know, they don't want the gays to marry. I know it would be tough. I know if you came back, you'd end up strapped to a gurney in Texas for a crime you didn't commit. But shit, we need you. Oh, and bring back Woodie Guthrie too.

  • lumpenprole

    You know who would make a great Pajamas Media blogger? Micawber.

    Except David Copperfield, the poor people in Dickens are servants.

  • Biff

    Who the fuck is the real Slim Shaidle, anyway?

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Oh, that lovable rascal Bill Sykes. What a fun guy.

  • oenspiek

    Apparently, because Times Change, (though not in a nasty 'evolutionary' way,) Evil is the new Good.

    Thanx to Ms Shaidle for clarifying this.

  • grace_nearing

    Love that Shaidle's collected thoughts about The Poors are in the PJ Lifestyle section.

  • Esteev

    I had two stints on unemployment in 2008-10, and let me tell you was it FUN.

    I got to move back home with my parents and wake up every day to send out dozens of resumes that were never answered. The crippling depression that sets in after 8 months of not being "wanted" by employers really makes you yearn for the days when pan handling didn't have such a negative connotation.

    Man o' man can you live the high life (crack) on $350/week.

  • Come here a minute

    Refrigerators!

  • tessiee

    "Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor"

    "so many of the people in the arenas here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this (as she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them"

    Oh, wait, that was a different ruling class douche.

  • Gleem McShineys

    Well, I guess the first few sentences of her blog must have gotten deleted, where she says "I would be an awful shit-eating cuntbucket if I was to say something like"

  • Guppy

    [To]day’s poor are often petulant, entitled, irresponsible, and ungrateful, caught up in a culture of crime and cheap thrills.

    As opposed to today's investment bankers?

    (Back when “living” conditions in Victorian London were unspeakably appalling, Jack the Ripper was practically doing those women a favor…)

    Those prostitutes were totally asking for it.

    Because New Orleans is located below sea level — and its official motto is “Let the Good Times Roll.”

    So's Plaquemines. So why should we listen to Governor Jindal whine and snivel for federal money to save Boudreaux?

    Oh, right, Boudreaux doesn't have a weave (wink wink).

  • Veritas78

    Refresh my memory on who's waging class warfare?

    I hope the next stimulus program includes lotsa lampposts. The sturdy kind.

  • dollymadison22

    I salute you, Wonkette! You expose ignorance and sheer meanness and madness on a daily basis. You must be exhausted. I look at Wonkette and Esquire (Charles Pierce) every morning and multiple times a day. You help me keep my head on straight. Bless you my queen.

  • Sassomatic

    For the record, our official motto is "Go Fuck Yourself, Yankee."

  • ttommyunger

    Dear Kathy Shaidle, Please leave us out of your hateful and idiotic rants. You are embarrassing our legacy and defaming us.
    Signed:
    Jesus H. Christ
    Jack the Ripper