Here, enjoy this video of Chris Christie screaming at a reporter from New York who has the NERVE to ask him a follow-up question about the foreclosure fund. Why is New Jersey dead-last in the nation in terms of implementing a bunch of programs to help homeowners avoid foreclosure, the reporter may have wanted to ask? Or, alternatively, he might have wanted to say something like: that $300,000,000 the feds gave you—why are you not using it to help homeowners? Except we’re not sure what the reporter was trying to ask, because Chris Christie immediately starts yelling about blue moons and New Yorkers from out of town and HOW DARE HE, given that he (the reporter, not Chris Christie, “has his facts wrong”).

Yes, we know! We too are shocked that a Republican is professing to care so much about “facts.” Anyway, this same reporter then filed a report with WABC-TV about the foreclosure crisis in New Jersey, and the fact that Christie is sitting on the funds that are supposed to be helping struggling homeowners.

“Why has it taken so long, more than a year to get the money out to families?” Hoffer asked.

“Because the courts placed a moratorium on foreclosures,” Governor Christie answered.

“No the dispersing of the money. The $300 million?” Hoffer asked.

“The courts placed a moratorium on foreclosures so our policy was put on hold, waiting to see what the courts were ultimately going to do regarding foreclosure. And that’s why we haven’t moved any more quickly than we have already,” Governor Christie answered.

“The moratorium did not stop other states from helping families already facing foreclosure.” Hoffer said.

When Hoffer tried to press the Governor on this, it’s clear he had no real answer.

“Governor, this is an issue facing the state, why are you blowing it off?” Hoffer asked.

“Michael, please help me ignore him, go ahead,” Christie said.

While the governor refuses to answer, families face losing their homes as the denial letters keep coming.

Everyone loves a jolly fat man. Obviously, Christie 2016.


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  • nounverb911

    All of us, Katie?

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Ironically, Sarah Palin had a lot more cajones on executing programs with questionable legality.

      I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't. -Sarah Palin

  • ChernobylSoup

    Obviously he ate the money.

  • chicken_thief

    I didn't watch it, so I'm just going with "the manager at the all you can eat buffet"?

  • Barbara_

    Several hot dog vendors at the football game, all at once?

  • nounverb911

    Christie should watch out for lightning the next time he floats over Lakehurst, New Jersey.

  • Tommy1733

    What a charmer – with a personality like that he doesn't need good looks to get ahead.

  • LibertyLover

    This man is so pleasant to be around. Who wouldn't want to be BFF's with him?

    • Tommy1733

      Hands off – I saw him first!

      • Terry

        There's enough of him to go around. And around.

        • In laps. With chalk, to mark off territory covered.

      • LibertyLover

        That wasn't too difficult. I can see him from here and I live in Arizona. ;-)

    • sewollef

      You could probably "Friend" him on Facebook…. but be careful he has more than one Facebook page since he's such an enormous zeppelin.

      • kittensdontlie

        Yes, I am going to 'Fiend' him.

  • I'll say Bob Harper, because I want to see this fucker get his Biggest Loser Transformation Moment and stop being such a self-hating projecting borderline-personality drama queen.

    • LibertyLover

      A routine makeover wouldn't do it for this fella. They'd have to do a personality transplant.

      • Or maybe a two-year special for Drs. Drew, Phil, and Oz.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Perhaps the courts put a moratorium on foreclosures in order to give people more time to get help from the state? Maybe that wasn't the court's purpose behind the moratorium, but could have been a blessing in disguise anyway?

    Sounds like a good reason to me to stop all state activities related to helping homeowners.*

    *If I was the piece of shit heartless misanthrope of a fat cow governor of a traditionally corrupt state.

  • hagajim

    Jolly fat man….but Chris is only one of those and it ain't jolly.

    • BadKitty904

      So was John Wayne Gacy…

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    I'm surprised the living, breathing version of the Shoney's boy didn't blame the teachers union for this…

    • HELisforHEL

      HAHA He IS the Shoney's boy!

  • Everyone caught in his event horizon.

    • There's one black hole I DO! NOT! WANT!

  • Estproph

    An empty chair?

    • TootsStansbury

      A broken empty chair.

    • Esteev

      A broken stage.

  • hagajim

    Maybe we need to graduate him from Governor Sammiches to governor pizza pie…not sure you can get that gargantuan on sammiches.

    • shelwood46

      Governor Calzone?

  • UnholyMoses

    "Everyone loves a jolly fat man."

    Well, yeah, sure.

    But what about a mean, total asshole of a fat man?

  • Did they use that excavator to move him from the helicopter to the podium?

    • Esteev

      No they used it to cover up his "litter box."

    • sailingthestyx

      hahahahaha…thanks much!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Obviously, the money was funneled to Tony Soprano's construction company by way of a bunch of bogus contracts.

  • Loudness is a substitute for intelligence in that neck of the woods.

  • Developing his own stench, for a campaign TBA.

  • chicken_thief

    Christie is a much nicer person if you catch him coming out of a diner instead of holding him up from going in.

  • Obese-wan Conobi. The farce is strong in this one.

    • UnholyMoses

      Obese-wan Canoli.

      Fixed for Joyseeness.

      • Leave the funds. Take the cannoli.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    I swear, his face looks like something a mongoloid kid put together at Build a Bear.

    • I really want to have sex with this comment.

  • Pragmatist2

    A fat bully from New Jersey! Who wouldn't want to vote for that combo?

    • BadKitty904

      Youse gadda probl'm wid dat?

  • e_z

    He better not be yelling at me, I've been dealing with the phone people and I am not in the fucking mood for his loud yammering.

  • At least he brought his pooper scooper to the press conference.

  • when chris christie sits around the house…

    it turns into $300,000,000 in foreclosure funds.

    • When Chris Christie sits around the house….he sits AROUND the house.

  • "Please help me ignore him"?

    Hey, fat guy! Can't you stand on your own two lungs?

    • bikerlaureate

      How does one even do that? Will Michael stick his fingers in the Governor's ears and go "la-la-la-la-la" ?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "I like foreclosures. When people in this state suffer, it gives my hero Bruce Springsteen more shit to write songs about. Did I mention that I like Bruce Springsteen? That's right. I'm cool."

  • Poindexter718

    The whole thing was very confusing.
    You can hear the "beep … beep …beep" and yet Gov. Christie doesn't appear to be backing up.

  • UnholyMoses

    Maybe Christie's saving the money so that he can pay Bruce Springsteen to play at his birthday party annual angioplasty.

  • keepwalkin

    If Christie is Bluto I say Jindal is Olive Oyl!!

    • Geminisunmars

      And dey is eatin' all the spinach!

  • Baconzgood

    I could never understand Huttees without C-3P0

    • BadKitty904

      More like a down-market Baron Harkonnen…but without the wit and charm…

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Can't wait for him to start running for president. When he holds babies, he'll give them Shaken Baby Syndrome and yell at them until they shit themselves.

    • HELisforHEL

      If he doesn't eat them first.

  • SoBeach

    Stupid lamestream media, with their stupid gotcha questions about what public officials are doing with taxpayer money. They only ask questions like that because the governor is a republican. Good for Chris Christie! It's none of that reporter's business!

  • Indiepalin

    "Sitting on the funds." I am appalled at the sophomoric humour found on this cite.

  • memzilla

    Estimable Editrix:

    1. Does Wonkette's TOS prohibit me from wishing that Chris Christie wind up like Mr. Creosote?

    2. Can we start a "Mints For Christie" Fund?

    • He may already be well-stocked

      It's like Willy Wonka, only less friendly.

    • Poindexter718

      I'd donate a "waffer thin" in a second!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Rawr! Rawrbeddah-hoerbeddah HOAGIE!!

    Reeaagh! Rawrbeddah-Rawrbeddah! CHEEZBURGER!!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Also, HULK SMASH!!11100!11!000! DONUTS ONION RINGS ENDLESS BUFFET garglemfffftt!!!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Christie to Reporter: "Get your Fat Waist!"

    • HogeyeGrex

      Funny. I heard that as "Get In Mah Belly!"

  • Fairtackle

    the guy who spray painted "Revolution" on his ass.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Actually, he wrote this:

      Revolution! you know, like a takeover. Sometimes violent but they can be peaceful. Although , either way can be fraught. Anyway, Revolution!! Oh looky, I still have room for a smiley face … :)

  • i would like to see an anger-palooza between billy joe armstrong vs chris christie.

  • ph7

    “Michael, please help me ignore him, go ahead,” Christie said.

    Christie has an Ignoring Assistant? I wonder what that pays.

    • He tries not to think about it.

    • Exhausted66

      Maybe he got the idea from Bruce Sprimgsteen. (See: ignoring Chris Christie.)

    • Radiotherapy

      $300 million, apparently.

  • LibertyLover

    It's Hard To Be a Saint in the City but if you have a Hungry Heart you can look for the Human Touch down in Jungleland. But if you are Christie, it's Easy Money In the Land of Hopes and Dreams because the homeowners have been Held Up Without a Gun. I hope Christie gets visited by the Ghost of Tom Joad and learns that We Take Care of Our Own.

    • HELisforHEL

      Well done!

  • Hammiepants

    I so hope one of his mob connections, er, WASTE MANAGEMENT CONSTITUENTS caps him and he ends up in a landfill somewhere near Passaic. If there is a big enough landfill.

    • CalamityJames

      That sounds like some vicious voting.

  • Christie is just pining for the old days when he could simply dump people into the Hudson.

  • SpiderCrab

    Charmless thug.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Oh, settle down and eat this tub of lard. It will make you feel better. Or die. Whatevs.

  • littlebigdaddy

    He invested it in a chain of tanning salons owned by Snooki?

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Michael, please help me ignore him, go ahead,” Christie said.

    Funny, I say this every time I see Chris Christie, Mittster, Gillian Ryan… shit, pretty much any Republican who appears in any type of media.

  • Everyone loves a jolly fat man. Obviously, Christie 2016.

    No, not Christie. Newt. America will warm up to Callista as they have to Ann.

    Newt will make sure that space shuttles are equipped with open windows as we establish a lunar base.

    • LibertyLover

      Perhaps Callista can borrow that lovely leather number that Egg wore on Leno last night. I'm sure she already has the boots to match.

  • MissTaken

    He needs an a ice cream cone. I find that really gives the yelling a nice sense of occasion.

    • kittensdontlie

      On these occasions, the most practical food for a man of such sophistication, is the meatball sub. Flinging the tomato-sauced balls at a indelicate questioner, will say more than mere words ever could.

    • Negropolis

      It also keeps his blood sugar from crashing.

  • Exhausted66

    Christie has a personal foreclosure plan in place where he comes and sits around your house. Because when Chris Christie sits around your house…

    • HogeyeGrex

      …There's nothing left but kindling?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      …something, something about his Mom and her footwear???

    • Guppy


  • Baconzgood

    "You have to come to EVERY press conference to ask questions or I'll eat you"

    -Blimpy Boy-

  • He coulda just said 'Obama. That's why.'

  • Beowoof

    Fat fuck said what?

  • JackObin

    Chris Krispy Kreme. How has that lipid avoided a myocardial infarction?

  • Come here a minute

    Mitt Romney made a colossal blunder failing to choose Chris Christie as his running mate.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      CC looks like he could use some running. If he didn't explode during the activity.

  • LibertyLover

    For the time being his administration will be passing out numbers to reporters to see who will get yelled at next… It will be a lottery during his next presser.

  • OT

    Mittens' campaign is overjoyed that Willard has landed the cover of the most esteemed newzmag evah!!!

    • Geminisunmars

      Did you build that?

      • It's for reallz.

        tee hee

  • Robman2

    This guy is way too thin skinned to run for national office, he would only appeal to an grey white old men, and by 2016, that demographic will be even smaller than today.

    The Tony Soprano routine is tiresome, can't he see that?

    • Negropolis

      A skin can get really thin when it's stretched as much as Christie's is.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Still want to protest the fat jokes.

    • Geminisunmars

      I know. Please don't be hating because he (or someone) is ugly or fat. Be hating because he is evil and hate filled.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Biggest loser or biggest loser contestant?

  • rocktonsam

    Chrisco must be upset because the state is giving him less portions for lunch just like the schools in Scott Walker's Wisconsin

  • Pithaughn

    Ok so the guy is morbidly obese, that does not mean he cannot be an effective executive. Some of these comments are insensitive to fat people you know?
    Personally, I would not vote for him, but I don't think it would be the end of the world if he was POTUS.

    • Negropolis

      No, no. It really would.

  • TribecaMike

    It was funnier in the original Huttese.

  • vaginista

    I liked his character on the Soprano's a lot better than this douchy politician he's playing now.

  • Nostrildamus

    I would find Christie more appealing if I was a parfumiere.

  • dennis1943

    He's mellowed since his younger days……..

  • RaflcaFlkaFlame

    Blah guy, can you please just FIX NJ Transit? All of this other jumbo bumbo is irrelevant If I have to ride on another car from 1908 or sit on the train for 8.3 hours to get from NY Penn to Newark Airport, then….. well…..

  • LibrarianX

    Yelling? Nah – that's just gas.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Will this fat fuck's schtick ever get old in NJ? Surely this phony tub-of-lard will be dead at the polls. By votes.

  • owhatever

    Is it just me, or does Governor Christie seem a bit chubby?

  • chascates

    Eventually we'll be treated to a video showing his fatal heart attack during an anger jag. It will become one of the most memorable video clips of the 21st century and be set to hundreds of songs.

  • docterry6973

    A cheap bully and loudmouth. The perpetual sneer and the bluster disgust me. Can you imagine Christie on the international stage? Trying to bully the UK or Germany as if their leaders are Jersey City aldermen? I so hope that we see Christie heading the GOP ticket in 16. All of my fake IDs will be voting against him.

  • DahBoner


    Now we know why there is a world-wide shortage of bacon.

  • Negropolis

    "What did you do with the money?" is the first question any good reporter in New Jersey should ask…about anything. Where the money go? To the Mafia. They've got the best guy on the inside any money could buy, now.

  • ttommyunger

    I am depressed…All these cheap shots and ad hominem attacks about the Governor's obesity simply detract from the real issue: which is that he is a flaming asshole.

  • Joey_Blau

    well.. uh.. the reporter kinda messed it up.. he had one question, and said he had another. and Christie said ok what is it .. and the guy went off on a speach.. which pisses Christie off. The reporter was trying to run th press conference by making a speach and not asking a question.

    He should have gone right to "Why not help those already forclosed on?" instead of his statements.

    not that Christie isn't a blowhard or anything.

  • BZ1

    Who elects these buffoons?

  • stitch94133

    Anyone who thinks this bag of shit will be a contender in 2016 probably is in the same league with people who think Mittens can pull off 2012.

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