This guy is 100% Italian, by the wayHey, everybody, settle in and let’s hear a story about the great American state of Oklahoma. See, once upon a time there were Native Americans living in the Southeastern United States, and they said, “Hey, these white people moving in have some good ideas about society, maybe let’s live more like them!” And the white people were like “Ha, nice try, we’d actually prefer that you live more like us … in Oklahoma, maybe? Don’t worry, it’s not too far to walk. Then like 70 years later they said, “Well, could we maybe have our own state at least?” And Teddy Roosevelt was like “Nah, man, you should, uh, have a state with the white people living next door to you, and increasingly right there on the land we promised that was yours, yeah, that’ll work too.” Then a lot of the Native Americans were like “Fuck this noise” and married white people and stopped participating in tribal political life and such. But their kids and grandkids remembered they were Native Americans! Even though they had a lot of white ancestors too! But there still are tribal governments in Oklahoma, and every once in a while one of their leaders has to say “OK, Massholes, can it with the casual racism, please.”

Anyhoo, you might remember Scott Brown’s tribe of staffers doing Native American-ish hooting to “psych themselves up” and also making fun of Elizabeth Warren for stating that some of her ancestors were Native Americans. They did this because they are jerks, and because the whole “ELIZABETH WARREN CLAIMED TO BE A CHEROKEE PRINCESS” deal has become a weird monomaniacal focus for their campaign. Anyway, Bill John Baker, an actual Native American Chief, has something to say on this point!

The Cherokee Nation is disappointed in and denounces the disrespectful actions of staffers and supporters of Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown. The conduct of these individuals goes far beyond what is appropriate and proper in political discourse. The use of stereotypical “war whoop chants” and “tomahawk chops” are offensive and downright racist. It is those types of actions that perpetuate negative stereotypes and continue to minimize and degrade all native peoples.

Haha, nice try, Baker, except Scott Brown knows you’re not a real Indian at all! Just as he pointed out at his debate with her that Elizabeth Warren totally looks like a white person, he can see your own white-lookingness with his own eyes. His staffers will just keep tomahawk choppin’ away until a real Native American shows up to tell them to stop. He’ll know one we he sees him, trust us. [National Journal/TPM]

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  • HELisforHEL

    Aww, my crying Indian. Siiigh.

    • Aww, my crying Indian Italian. Siiigh.


    • After our exchange the other day, your initial comment — I *did* think of you upon seeing old Iron Eyes Cody here~!

  • ChernobylSoup

    Bill John Baker is the coolest Native American name of all time.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Nah. That's Eagle Wolfchief, one of ours.

    • Callyson

      Wilma Mankiller or GTFO.

      • Totally. I have Mankiller's book, I think it's called "A Chief of Her Tribe." She was one cool lady.

    • pdiddycornchips

      I vote for Chief Dan George ( the "civilized" Indian from "The outlaw Josie Wales"

    • 216stitches

      What about Billy Wind? Seminole.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Well, there is a two-name minimum in Oklahoma…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    What is it about those NDN videos (like the one in the previous subway-graffiti post) that totally fucks up my browser? Comments won't load, avatars won’t load, times out all the time, replies won't drop down, won't re-order (i.e. Last Activity). I was able to make a total of two comments on that page over the course of one hour. Fuck them NDN videos. Anyone else?

    • comrad_darkness

      my chrome flashed a not safe flash action and asked if I wanted to block it. I did and the video still played. Maybe try chrome?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        My options are limited here due to being a work computer. Thanks though!

        • Geminisunmars

          It was really the actions of Wonkette, trying to give other wonketeers an opportunity to make good snark before you got there.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            If y'all keep holding me back, I'ma have to go Galt.

    • ThundercatHo

      Last week my Wonk pages were unreadable due to error/script messages that would freeze the whole page. We could not x out but had to overide or restart to get everything working again. Finally gave up and actually got some shit done.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I and a number of others had that problem too but Editrix fixed it I think. This is completely different; the last time it happened I notice there was an NDN video present. I'm getting ready to change departments so I'm short here and don't feel like getting any shit done.

    • Arkoday

      Me too. Even had trouble leaving the page.

  • Hey staffer dicks, do we show up to where Scott Brown works and pose nude?

    • Don't forget to stick a shar pei or two on your crotches.

      • GhostBuggy

        I'll need about three, if you get my meaning.

        …No, that's a lie.

  • Boojum

    Don't shoot until you can see that they are white, from their eyes.

    • You fucking KILL me sometimes.

      I know, I know, you would if you could get your hands on me.

      • Boojum

        No, with Boojums, you just softly and silently vanish away.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Re the pic and alt text: That was one of my favorite Sopranos episodes.

  • ChernobylSoup

    I keep looking for this "Oklahoma" place on my iPhone map. Is it close that that big gray area called "Indian Territory?"

    • MissTaken

      Yes, right before the area called "Here There Be Dragons".

    • YasserArraFeck

      It's right under "Here Be Dragonse"

    • rickmaci

      "Indian Territory"? Jeebuzz that damn iPhone5 maps system really does suck.

    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      near pakistan…

  • mrpuma2u

    This nice Baker guy doesn't realize he's appealing to their sense of decency, which the Brown campaign never really had in the first place.

  • Estproph

    Did Romney paint himself red to make this statement?

  • HELisforHEL

    Aww, my crying Indian. Siiigh. I would like to see him throw his tomahawk into Scott Brown's empty skull.

    • Baconzgood

      With votes.

  • Hi there, boys and girls! I'm Scotty Brown and I'm the Masshole of the group!

    • Indiepalin

      Who needs the Peace Corps.?

  • barto

    Warren: "Dammit, where did I put my Pocahantas weave?"

  • comrad_darkness

    I am shocked, shocked that someone found a republican staffer racially insulting.

    • BadKitty904

      You'd think they were ill-bred, ignorant, mean-spirited, insensitive clods or something, wouldn't you? Oh, wait…

    • YasserArraFeck

      I found a republican staffer stuck to my shoe – more disgusted than shocked. I guess I need to watch where I walk.

  • Baconzgood

    "The Cherokee Nation is disappointed"

    One more disappointment in a long long long line of them.

    • Terry

      Finding out that Cher isn't really of Native American ancestry probably wasn't one of them, though.

    • pdiddycornchips

      But they will endeavor to persevere.

      "I wore this frock coat in Washington, before the war. We wore them because we belonged to the Five Civilized Tribes. We dressed ourself up like Abraham Lincoln. You know, we got to see the Secretary of the Interior. He said, “Boy! You boys sure look civilized!” He congratulated us, and he gave us medals for looking so civilized. We told him about how our land had been stolen. Our people were dying. When we finished, he shook our hands and said, “Endeavor to persevere.” They stood us in a line–John Jumper, Junior McIntosh, Buffalo Hump, Jim Pockmark, and me. I’m Lone Watie. They took our pictures, and the newspapers said, “Indians Vow to Endeavor to Persevere.” We thought about it for a long time. “Endeavor to persevere”. And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.
      – Dan George, as Lone Watie, from “The Outlaw Josey Wales” (1976)"

    • A trail of tears, really.

  • FakaktaSouth

    He also told Bobby Jindal to shut up with all the "thank god I'ma dot not feather" Indian talk. Not impressed, this Scott Walker guy. But I would war whoop with Elizabeth any day.

    • rickmaci

      'dot not feather'. Ima ROFLMFAO.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Is he going to be all offended at the "Romney-Ryan" war chant, too?

    • calliecallie


    • rickmaci


  • Baconzgood

    Man, what did we ever do to these injuns to make them all touchy…oh, nevermind.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Bill John Baker should consult with Russell Means and check to see how much of a fuck people like Daniel Snyder, Ted Turner, and whoever owns the Cleveland Indians give about that kind of thing.

    • Veritas78

      How could anyone possibly mind lovable old Chief Wahoo?

      One of my (Cleveland-area) elementary school chums would take that cartoon, put a fedora and a pair of glasses on it, and presto: Mr. Schlumkin from the pharmacy!

  • Fox n Fiends

    Massachusetts voters have very high ethical standards and will not tolerate even the slightest ethical misstep.


    Ted Kennedy

  • kissawookiee

    I'm pretty sure I can see that Scott Brown is a raging dickface smarmyass goatblower.

    • BadKitty904

      Kinda a Paul Ryan clone, then?

  • I guess he's not an Atlanta Braves fan either.*

    *Nor am I. I still laugh at the butt hurt of Georgians when the mostly non Canadian City Toronto Blue Jays mocked the mostly white Braves fans' so called Tomahawk Chop as they won the 1992 World Series.

  • cousinitt

    "Elizabeth Warren totally looks like a white person"

    Scott Brown [sic] totally sounds like a white person.

    • UnholyMoses

      Scott Brown [sic] totally sounds like a white person a complete fucking asshole bigot piece of shit who appeals to other bigoted pieces of shit.


  • Maybe Cherokee scalp Kemosabe Brown new hairdo.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Massachusetts should settle this issue with a game of bingo.

    • BadKitty904

      And over a carton of cigarettes…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    One of Brown's staffers responded "Phht, whatever. What are they gonna tell us next, that we can't call black people ni …. we can't?"

  • SmutBoffin

    Oh, and free Leonard, too. K THX BAI

  • fartknocker

    The mystery man was smart
    He got himself a Tonto
    Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
    But Tonto he was smarter

    And one day said Kemo Sabe
    Kiss my ass I bought a boat
    I'm going out to sea

    Lyle Lovett "If I Had A Boat"

    • emmelemm

      I like that song.

    • el_donaldo

      If Tonto worked for free, where did he get the money for the boat, huh?

      • bobbert

        He's on a motherfuckin boat, okay?

  • Scott Brown's campaign deserves a scrotum pole award for being such dicks.

    • rickmaci


    • rickmaci

      One last thought. Given they were able to cover it with a staple, Scottie must have a itty bitty teeny weenie little scrotum pole.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Everyone born in this fucking state is part Indian, usually Cherokee. Like me. Can I prove it? No. Dipshit ancestors weren't there when the Dawes Commission did their white-people-don't-get-Indians survey. "They own property in common and there are no orphans, because they are all taken in by familes. This has got to stop!!! " I wish I were making it up, but I'm not.

    My mother's family always claimed to be part Cherokee and I believed them.

    The asshole Brown should be given a copy of Angie Debo's great history, "And Still the Waters Run." Brown doesn't get a fucking thing, except he's maybe losing.

    BTW–John Ross, one of the 5 great chiefs at the time of removal, was only a fractional Cherokee and was married to a white woman. The Cherokees and I should hold a press conference together. And the Delawares, though I'm not sure there are even any pure bloods left from that little tribe.

    BTW–Fuck the Osages.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      …if so, does that mean we can "war-whoop" and shit again?

      • Only if you're willing to fuck the Osages. I hear they can be pretty mean.

    • My older brother was an Osage. He's dead, so you can't fuck him. His dad was from Weleetka, OK.

    • fartknocker

      I spent a week in Pawhuska, OK one night.

    • I wuz an Osage back in the 50s as a little tike with the Y's Indian Guides. Does that mean I can claim to be part Native American, or just that I'm fucked?

    • Prairie Band Potawatomi libel!

    • karlamarx

      say it loud, say it proud, DustBowlBlues.

      (writing from the from the potawatomi nation, oklahoma.)

  • mbobier

    Awww, don't be so hard on Scott Brown, guys — he just wants to provide, via his campaign, a haven for racist frat boys. Mittens would probably regard that as a cause worthy of a charitable tax deduction.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Everyone knows that this guy is the REAL racist.

  • UnholyMoses

    Trail of Derps

  • Baconzgood

    These Cherokee people with thier Cherokee tribe. So proud to live, so proud to die.

    • BornInATrailer

      A staffer needs to accidentally play a little Paul Revere and the Raiders at the next rally. Would be so awesome.

    • They would prefer not so much teh dying, Baconz.

  • Indiepalin

    Scott Brown bumper sticker:

    "Tonto, Blow Me Pronto"

  • Next time, Scott Brown's staff should imitate the Fuckawe tribe.

  • chascates

    How about playing Cowboys and Tea-partiers?

    • BadKitty904

      Only if the Mittster gets to play General Custer…

      • Careful, Willard might Sioux.

        • Esteev

          That's some tough Montauk.

  • PsycWench

    It's pretty clear they don't need to worry about Ryan perpetuating the idea of the camera stealing one's soul.
    Or maybe that is where it went?

  • Schmannnity

    Trail of Tears versus Trail of Hair.

    • SmutBoffin

      Treasure Trail of Tears?


    • Mitt hopes his support will gel.

  • UnholyMoses

    As a way for Brown to show that he's not a bigoted jackhole, he should invite a bunch of Cherokees over for a Thanksgiving party.

    • I hear those people really go for that sort of thing.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    There's a new Native America-owned consulting contractor that works with us here at the Air Force Civil Engineer, simply called Cherokee Nation LLC or something like that. Several of the guys from the old contractor made the move to the new one, incuding a pretty funny (I shit you not) right-wing guy. I need to ask him if he's going to get Columbus Day off next month.

  • Indiepalin

    Brown campaign is now trying to raise enough money to pay Cher to sing "Halfbreed" at the next debate.

  • Generation[redacted]

    I see the video of Scott Brown's staffers and I think, "So that's what happened to those LNS kids."

    • DustBowlBlues

      LNS? Pleeze explain to this Old?

      • Generation[redacted]

        Old timey wonketteers know about Late Night Shots

        Search wit teh wonkette search engine and keep clicking till you go waaaaaaay back in time.

    • SmutBoffin

      I had assumed that some of them went on to precipitate the financial collapse of America.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Lehman Bros USFB?

  • “ELIZABETH WARREN CLAIMED TO BE A CHEROKEE PRINCESS” deal has become a weird monomaniacal focus for their campaign.

    Maybe Elizabeth Warren should just go over to their headquarters and do a rain dance, and when it only rains inside the HQ, have a camera crew film it.

    Any questions?

    • Esteev

      Am I the only one who shares more spiritual beliefs with Native Americans than with the mainstream religions?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    As an apology, Brown's campaign sent tickets to Atlanta Braves and Florida State University football games, along with giant foam middle fingers saying "WE'RE DUMBER 1!

  • BloviateMe

    Scott Brown went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

    The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

    • bobbert

      Scott "Two Tents" Brown.

    • karlamarx


  • deliman4

    If you wanna kill all the rest of the injuns in this country, force them to listen to listen to Scotties political ads on a continuous loop

    • I think we should declare a moratorium on the poor injuns. They've been shot at, pillaged, looted, raped, starved, beaten, and pretty much genocided out of existence already.

      I know, I know, you were being flip, but I just read an excerpt from the Hearst Museum's collection, it's a storytelling by a very old woman of a small tribe, and she talks about how her grandfather was beaten to death by American soldiers in front of his family because he was unable to walk fast enough as they were being rounded up and marched off their territory.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Scott Brown = Sgt. O'Rourke from F Troop

  • DustBowlBlues

    BTW–If her name were Elizabeth Bushyhead (common Cherokee last name) would he be more convinced? Or just make fun of both her heritage and her funny name? Think of the wigs the Teabaggers could come up with. I was once working on a senate campaign, when they sent in the DC staffers to show the hicks how it's done (ever happen to you? People who don't know shit about local conditions or issues fly in to boss around people who can find their asses with both hands). Anyway, I met a Cherokee woman named Michelle Teehee. Her last name did not fit her personality.

    Anything but happy ending: Coburn won.

    • stanpan

      Or Elizabeth Mankiller.

      • karlamarx

        i came back to oklahoma after 50 years as a retired teacher and began subbing at a school with a lot of Native Americans. great names. but i heard an eighth grader ask another kid if he were "Native." it's the new term for Native American or Indian. how cool is that?

  • Ha ha! I'm surprised Republican pranksters haven't sent smallpox-tainted blankets to Warren's campaign HQ. That'd be WAY funnier than driving a bus in circles while incessantly honking the horn (tee hee, *snort*).

  • Poindexter718

    Thanks Wonkette!
    Three+ decades later i'm finally feeling OK about myself & then you trott out the fekking crying indian & I'm eight-years-old again, beating myself up about that wrapper from the Marathon bar I tossed while riding home from the U-Totem on my bike!

    • comrad_darkness

      cheer up, it was compostable.

      • Poindexter718

        Thanks, but I'm not sure the indian saw it that way–it still made him cry.

  • CalvinsChoice

    Last time I saw these guys they were riding in a motor home with Borat. Scott Brown apparently believes in affirmative action when it comes to hiring the morally challenged.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Sorry, Cal, but I'm immediately stealing morally challenged. Applies to every g**dam Republithug I know.

    • Anwar Sadat used to refer to his enemies as "moral midgets."

  • Yeah, Scott Brown, because white guys throughout history have been sssoooo discriminating about where they will stick their dicks that you would KNOW who Elizabeth Warren's great great grandfather did. Asshat.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    As part of their sensitivity/awareness training, Brown's staff should be made to listen to Paul Revere and the Raiders' "Cherokee Nation" over and over and over and over…

  • weezmgk

    Oh, Wonkette, you so funny.

    Iron Eyes Cody, the tearful Indian, was born Espera Oscar de Corti in Kaplan, Louisiana in 1904, a child of Sicilian migrants.

    Elizabeth Warren has much more Native American heritage than Mr 'Cody,' who had none at all, but I guess you Wonkette wags knew that.

    • ttommyunger

      I, for one, did not know that.

  • Katydid

    Ya know, the Massholes first gave Scott Brown the Senate, now they're trying to take it away from him. You might even call them Indian-givers. So Ms. Warren fits right in.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    "It is those types of actions that perpetuate negative stereotypes and continue to minimize and degrade all native peoples."

    I see Bill John Baker is familiar with the Tea Party Mission Statement.

  • Geminisunmars

    For a Brown, he sure is a dick.

  • Lucidamente1

    Ok, fine, but what's Elizabeth Warren's stand on King Philip's War?

  • Blunderthing

    White man fuck Native American Pride with fork-ed dick.

  • Come here a minute

    Bill John Baker does not pass the Scott Brown test of being a real native American, because just look at him and at his name.

  • MLite

    All those Injuns, just looking for special treatment and handouts from us hard working 'Mericans.

    • They act like they OWN the whole fucking country, man!

  • DustBowlBlues

    The Cherokees have plenty of casino money (they have rescued the schools of Tahlequah, their capital, at least one. And built bridges. Etc.) and should donate some of that cash to EW's campaign. That would show Brown what happens to racists.

    BTW–The Citizen Pottawattomies totally bailed out their local school district and built roads. Other tribes have done similar things, I'm sure, but not the Republican Osages.

    We have over 30 recognized by the feds tribes in OK. Best name? Absentee Shawnees.

    • stanpan

      I dunno I rather like Kickapoo. I can just see someone drop-kicking a cow patty, aimed right at Coburn or Inhofe.

      • Oh, c'mon, you know damn well Coburn/Inhofe don't deserve a cow patty.

        They deserve a whole fucking cement mixer full of elephant shit.

        • stanpan

          I totally agree. BTW, there's a Facebook page for Oklahomans Mortally Ashamed of Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn.

          • Awww! That is GREAT! Thanks for letting me know. I'll go dig it up. I think the national fit of idiocy that propelled the Teabaggers to power may be dying down. I'm finding more blue friends in red states, these days.

          • PennyDreadful

            Off to sign up…

  • I'd like to invite them to Nebraska. I will give them a ride up to the Pine Ridge Reservation on the Nebraska/South Dakota Border where they can Whoop and Tomahawk Chop til their heart's content.*

    *15 seconds.

  • Bill John Baker has no credibility until he coughs up his personnel records.

  • TootsStansbury

    If Scott Brown had a Spirit Helper it would be Cockroach.

  • DustBowlBlues

    On a serious note, sort of, wasn't a part of Brown's appeal how likable he was supposed to be? When I saw him making fun of E. Warren's skin color in the debate, I was shocked. "Look at her". Jesus C, but that's rude as well as vulgar. Now he's making it worse. Sure, it would be a winning strategy in Ok–oh, right, it would not be such a winning strategy here. She wd. have to claim to be negro for it to work here. The redneck-baggers would throw chunks of watermelon at her. Then she would lose.

    Anyway, doesn't he stand a chance of hurting his chances of being elected if the people in Massachusetts, where they think they are so superior to the Dust Bowlers, elect a man who does such despicable things, then everyone in New England and STFU about us.

    • Looks like Warren's leading by 14 points, at this stage, so you can think of Scotty's crude, obnoxious racism as the last gasps of a dying (with votes) candidate.

  • James Michael Curley

    "until a real Native American shows up"
    How 'bout a Woolly Monmouth with a bad attitude and on crack.

  • SwanSwanH

    BTW, the subject of Wonkette fave photo Migrant Mother is Cherokee too, but she's a poor, so, irrelevant.

  • DahBoner

    Needz moar corn-oil butter!

  • Esteev

    This is what happens to the Nice Guy politician when he runs against someone with "ideas on improving the nation."

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    The jury is still out on whether Brown and his staffers are human beings or gobs of snot from a horse's butt crack.

    • Uh, dood, that's not snot. Snot comes from MUCH higher up.

    • evodevo1

      Don't insult horse butt cracks – as one who raised horses for many years, I can testify they are cleaner than yours, probably. And definitely much cleaner than those of Brown's staffers.

    • bibliotequetress

      Jury's back! Answer is…butt crack snot!

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Just another Masshole Rethuglican tanking his own otherwise possible shot at winning an election.

    douchebags are people, my friend.

  • Barrelhse
  • DesertTed

    Hey Injuns,
    This is America and losers don't make the rules. Go back to your casinos where you probably say the same thing.

    • HarryButtle

      "This is America and losers don't make the rules."

      Somebody ought to point this out to the Confederate States of America so they'll shut the fuck up and stop telling the rest of us how to be "real" Americans.

  • Yellerdawg

    The Romney campaign has been a series of vertical copulations; one fuck up after another.

  • a_pink_poodle

    The Cherokee Nation chief is the real racist against native peoples here by injecting his racial politics into something as innocent as using stereotypical war whoops and tomahawk arm action to personally attack a politician who has some of that heritage!

    • bibliotequetress

      Oh, my! It's like you've been reading the flame wars on on Universal Hub all day!

      Note: Uhub is a great local news site, and the comments of the sloshy bags of douche do not reflect the hard work of its fearless editor Adam.

  • You think it'll take the natives THAT long to show them how to use a tomahawk, huh?

  • owhatever

    Scott Brown is part idiot. The other half is less.

  • Have the Republicans done anything to offend ethnic Ukrainians yet or is that just something to look forward to?

  • magnabob

    I hate registering just leave a comment. But, there are two large contingents of Cherokee in Western North Carolina that survived the removal by hiding out and fighting the government, aided in many cases by local whites. Just about everyone whose family was in the region antebellum is some part Native American and very, very few of us have the papers to prove it– other than family Bibles. Warren's claim is quite within the realm of possibility.

  • ttommyunger

    Watched vid. of Brown's Staffers. The simple fact that baseball caps were worn backwards says it all, my friends.

  • Weenus299

    I can imagine Scott Brown's staffers doing this:

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