WASTES OF INTERNET PAPER  5:20 pm September 25, 2012

Daily Caller Now Investigating Random Military Retirees for Seditious Keith Olbermann Fandom

by Rich Abdill

HERE COMES JOURNALISMBrace yourselves, guys. The crack team over at the Daily Caller has come out with a new, knuckle-cracking investigation that gets to the root of yet another broad liberal conspiracy: There is a guy on the internet, you see, who has… opinions.

Oh, lord! Say it isn’t so! Say it’s a fabrication!

No, I’m sorry. It’s true. Also, though, stupid.

The subject of the 1,500-word expose is retired Lt. Col. Mike Russell, who is now a civilian Army employee cited in media reports as an Army neuropsychologist. That’s just by day though — by night … well, it’s pretty awful. Pretty terrible. Steady your toes, because they’re about to curl in horror.

By night, Russell posts on a message board.

That’s right. The noble DC folks have evolved intelligently designed past harassing Will Ferrell about fake economic statements and into stalking message board commenters:

When retired Lt. Col. Mike Russell isn’t working as the program manger of the Army’s brain testing program, now as a civilian, he’s busy online as the site administer [sic] of KeithOlbermann.org, which describes the former MSNBC and Current TV host as “The Last Reporter Standing.”

A frequent contributor to the site’s Web forum, the main focus of the site, Russell has posted over-the-top political rants against Republicans, criticized the military’s psychiatrists and seemingly tried to recruit fellow online posters for positions on military bases.

Somebody get al-Qaida on the phone, we found one of their masterminds. Let’s check out some of these “over-the-top political rants against Republicans”:

Russell then ranted about politics being corrupted by corporate cash, specifically naming Charles and David Koch, business leaders who fund conservative and libertarian organizations.

“All the politicians, including Obama and Romney are BOUGHT, and the world is buried in your bullshit lies streaming form [sic] unlimited multi-national corporate cash. You are probably some paid shill the Koch brother pay to spam our forum with lies. Traitors, the lot of you.”

How DARE he insult staunch Republicans like Mitt Romney and Barack Obama! The nerve. And look at how this delinquent undercover Marxist “used the forum to criticize the Army”:

“I was in charge of suicide prevention for the army earlier in the war,” he wrote in a thread titled “Active troop suicides higher than KIA in 2012″ in June 2012, “but resigned when it was clear that they were unwilling to make any actual changes to fix the problem.”

OK, well that is obviously cause to lock him up next to naked Bradley Manning. But there is something more insidious going on here:

Russell went on to suggest that he was willing to bend requirements to hire someone from the online forum — and even suggested he had done so in the past, for a participant who used the username “Philbert.”

PHILBERT. WE HAVE TO FIND PHILBERT.

Philbert is the evidence. Philbert is the smoking gun. Philbert is the proof that this guy who posts on message boards also mentions on message boards that he has to hire people. Why the difficulty in finding folks?

“Actually the army has a lot of crappy psychiatrists,” Russell wrote in November 2009. “[I]t is a residency program that usually doesn’t get as much applicants as openings, so it is a place you get get a training slot if everyone else turns you down. For psychiatry it is a choice between training a dud and going without.” [...]
“I have 78 people working for me. I can’t find anyone with even a Bachelors [degree] in History in Mississippi,” Russell complained on the forum in June 2010.

MORE sedition! The man is incorrigible. Military mental health services aren’t amazing? Blasphemy, against American Jesus! And to say that maybe the state that sends black students to prison for school infractions might have some educational problems is basically racist, right? It’s not like the state’s neighbors are teaching students that the Loch Ness Monster is real and disproves evolution or anything. Everything is always fine in the South.

But what’s this? Comment from the guy the article is about? How could he explain this OUTRAGE?

“I hope you are looking forward to your travels to San Antonio, Texas, where your defamation lawsuit will be held, because whatever my status in 2010. I retired from the military in November 2010 and sold the forum you are complaining about to Cheryl Roberts in 2011, so am a Private Person in 2012.”

Wait — so they guy described in the lede as “the long-time administrator of a Keith Olbermann fan site” is revealed, in the 33rd paragraph, to not be the administrator of a Keith Olbermann fan site? Daily Caller people, I am starting to suspect you may be, on occasion… obtuse. You get one last chance to save this article before we do one of those mean “In review” things.

Asked whether it is appropriate for an Army doctor who presumably deals with patients of all political stripes to engage in hostile partisan rhetoric, the Army spokesman said, “We cannot comment on this allegation.”

GAH OK that’s enough. There might have been a way out, but the article instead went to “Maybe liberal doctors give Republicans cancer,” so here’s the “In review.”

In review: Officer retires from military, becomes contractor, writes on message boards that he thinks corporate money is corrupting politics, then mentions he needs smart people to work for him. This is very shady, because maybe he’s just hiring his friends, except he was so disillusioned by the military’s ability to keep soldiers from killing themselves that he stopped being in the military, so it’s probably not that.

In any case, we should be incensed because the guy likes Keith Olbermann. [Daily Caller]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 241 comments }

nounverb911 September 25, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Does the Daily Caller know about Wonkette yet?

Terry September 25, 2012 at 5:39 pm

The Daily Caller investigators are working up dossiers as we speak. The pages are probably grease stained, too.

nounverb911 September 25, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I hope they make my life more interesting than it really is.

Terry September 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

They could try to investigate me, but both my hometown and current town would make them crap their pants.

kittensdontlie September 25, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Unless you are less than three degrees removed from Phil Donahue, don't count on it.

Lascauxcaveman September 25, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Oh, cool. I actually met Jimmy Carter once, in person, shook his hand and exchanged pleasantries etc. Also, I've admitted here to registering as a Republican just so I could vote for the wrong primary candidate. So they'll probably do a two-parter on me!

I just hope the embarrassing fact that I remained a virgin until the age of [redacted] never makes into the final edit.

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I hope they get some cool actress to play me.

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Carmen Miranda?

PsycWench September 25, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Not Lindsay Lohan, then?

ImForMitt! September 25, 2012 at 9:16 pm

"I hope they make my life more interesting than it really is. "

Before you ask a conservative pundit to do this for/to you, you might wish to consult the opinion of Slutty Lesbian Jew-Loving Prostitute Sandra Fluke Who Has So Much Lesbian Slutty Sex (For Money!) That She Can't Afford Her Own Birth Control Pills.

emmelemm September 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm

That's not grease.

Gleem McShineys September 25, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Ok, fine. We have to meme-icate this one then.

You know what else leaves stains on Daily Caller pages?

Steverino247 September 25, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Tears of frustration?

bikerlaureate September 25, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Flop sweat?

just_a_head September 26, 2012 at 1:52 am

Astroglide?

Incitefully_Joe September 26, 2012 at 7:49 am

Daily Caller "reporters"?

sewollef September 26, 2012 at 9:27 am

Biofreeze?

AznMom420 September 26, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Well trained Daily Caller "bloggers"?

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 10:50 pm

I imagine more cheeto-stained, but your general point of a stain of some variety is well taken.

GhostBuggy September 25, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I often wonder why the Wonk doesn't show up more when Fox is trying to scare conservatives. I mean, we're everything they hate, right here in the comments alone.

Here, I'll get us started. Hey Hannity! Fuck you!

Callyson September 25, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Yo, BillO! You have a very tiny penis!

tihond September 25, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I'm having an abortion using the constitution… right… now.

Designer_Rants September 25, 2012 at 7:46 pm

And I'm arguing that that was the whole and entire point of the Constitution, just as the Founding Fathers intended!

sewollef September 26, 2012 at 9:29 am

Yeh! The Founding Fathers were all slave owners… oh wait.

We're joking here right?

Dudleydidwrong September 25, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Hey! I just wiped my ass with the pages of the Republican platform. PLEEEZEE investigate me! PLEEEZEE! I'm living a very boring life and now have the excitement of waiting for the knock on the door–other than Mormon missionaries.

Designer_Rants September 25, 2012 at 8:28 pm

*Knock Knock*
Dudley: "Well hello-o-o-o!"
Tucker Carlson: "Uhh, hi. Are you 'Dudleydidwrong'?"
Dudley: "Why, YES!!!"
Tucker: "Mm, well, I'm here because of what you wrote on the Wonkette website."
Dudley: "Come IN!!! Make yourself at HO-O-O-OME!!!"
Tucker: "Uh, I should stay out here. Where I'm in plain view."
Dudley: "You wanna see something re-e-e-ally cool?"
*Dudley exposes self to Tucker, then rams tongue in Tucker's agape mouth*
Tucker: "Whaaa?!"
Dudley: "Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!"
*Slams door, goes back to NYT crossword puzzle, says "Oh! 'Emu'" quietly to self*
Tucker's Headline: "Obama Supporter Legitimately Rapes Bowtied Citizen!"

natl_indecency_cmdr September 25, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Well done and I thank you.

Mittens Howell, III September 25, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Hey Fox and Friends!

Here's your award for 'Worlds Least Fappable Threesome'.

CommieLibunatic September 25, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Gay Marriage should not just be legal, but MANDATORY!

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 7:17 pm

A free child in every gay couple's home!!

BlueStateLibel September 25, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I'm a secular humanist who wants to ban Xmas trees and make English the third language …behind French and Spanish.

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 8:41 pm

You mean behind Russian and Kenyan, don't you?

banana_bread September 26, 2012 at 12:34 pm

You forgot Chinese and Arabic.

Designer_Rants September 25, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I imagine just the phrase "Secular Humanist" makes certain people run for their nearest gun and bible (same drawer), and then loudly chant "USA!" until The Mike Huckajesus Show makes them feel like they're a Real American again.

Yellerdawg September 26, 2012 at 9:43 am

I remember in high school, lo those many years ago, making a semi-joke to a friend about joining a secular humanist church. I turned around and the person standing behind us was looking at me in horror, as if I was at any moment going to go on a blood drinking rampage in the hall. I thought that was really funny at the time. Little did I know that such people were going to be in charge of Texas a few years later.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Tiny Americans flags for some, mandatory abortions for all!

UnholyMoses September 26, 2012 at 9:44 am

Well, my user name alone proves we're all anti-Semites who loath Israel and the baby Jesus … who, if the GOP were around about 2012 years ago, would have been called an "anchor baby" who should be deported, as I doubt his folks had a passport.

actor212 September 25, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Keith Olbermann, the only liberal commentator who can infuriate me by being a bigger asshole than I am.

nounverb911 September 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Isn't it time for the two week anniversary of the NY get-together already?

Incitefully_Joe September 25, 2012 at 5:51 pm

So you don't watch much Bill Maher, is what you're saying?

SorosBot September 25, 2012 at 7:24 pm

But Maher's a libertarian, not a liberal.

actor212 September 26, 2012 at 9:21 am

I don't have HBO.

And he doesn't piss me off by getting fired needlessly.

Incitefully_Joe September 26, 2012 at 9:53 am

And he doesn't piss me off by getting fired needlessly.

O RLY?

Incitefully_Joe September 26, 2012 at 9:47 am

He also calls himself a progressive and holds reasonable views on the environment and corporate money in politics, which are anathema to libertarians, and has pretty shitbaggy views on civil liberties and racial profiling, which most libertarians like to pretend is anathema to libertarianism.

I'd call him a mostly-liberal who leans obnoxious (and definitely rightward) on certain issues, but who is also an anti-vaxer and therefore should never actually be taken seriously on any topic ever no matter what.

Caelan Aegana September 25, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I was going to say, "Chris Matthews doesn't make you want to drive a paring knife through your eardrums?" But then I realized you said "liberal" and not "MSNBC", and laughed.

Mittens Howell, III September 25, 2012 at 7:02 pm

He's not that big an asshole.

(kidding)

CindynEncinitas September 25, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Come on, you guys! Olbermann is going to have such a sad if we don't like him. He's not really very famous any more and if he finds out we don't like him, who knows what he'll do?

actor212 September 26, 2012 at 9:21 am

I dunno. He says he's happy spending Al Gore's money, so…

nounverb911 September 25, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Hey, Olbermann's a Yankee fan, whats not to like?

Incitefully_Joe September 25, 2012 at 6:03 pm

You know who else hated the Yankees?

Terry September 25, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Pretty much everyone on the Eastern seaboard?

Incitefully_Joe September 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Hate U XOXO

SorosBot September 25, 2012 at 7:27 pm

And in not just the Eastern seaboard, but every baseball fan in the entire US, and Canada?

viennawoods13 September 25, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Damn right Canada. Fucking Yankees.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 10:56 pm

How about pretty much everyone, including half the city of New York?

actor212 September 26, 2012 at 9:23 am

I think he's actually bi-squadron. He's almost always at the Mets games when they are in town, as well. I imagine this past week, he had really dissonance.

About the only NY sporting event he doesn't attend is the US Open.

skmind September 25, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Did Tucker ditch his bow tie for one of O'Keefe's pimp costumes when he went undercover for this Pulitzer winning exposé?

KeepFnThatChicken September 25, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I keep getting The Daily Caller mixed up with The Blaze. But the over/under about this part is that Glenn Beck gets all the camera time, and Tucker probably has a desk near Milton.

SaintRond September 25, 2012 at 8:03 pm

As all boyishly perky Republicans wear bow ties, originally popularized by a particularly winsome young Republican back in the 70's by the name of Ted Bundy — youth, like spring and summer, must give way to winter and the equally adorable suspenders, worn by once boyishly perky older Republicans with frog bodies, popularized by a particularly winsome older Republican by the name of Robert Bork.

For there is a season.

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Turn, turn, turn.

larrykat September 25, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Ich bin ein Mike Russell.

Come here a minute September 25, 2012 at 5:26 pm

The Daily Caller should apologize for publishing this crap — it's quite obvious that both the Army and Keith Olbermann are in need of better mental health services.

Beowoof September 25, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Let's not leave the psychological needs of the Daily Caller out of that equation. If Obama wins the election I would expect several of them to go Charles Whitman.

Pragmatist2 September 25, 2012 at 5:26 pm

What kind of animal leaves the Army and then does not take a job with a defense contractor? It's disgusting and Mitt Romney will pti a stop to it when Rasmussen only polls Republicans and the election is officially over.

GregComlish September 25, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Keith Olberman is the real racist

ElPinche September 25, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Adolfeith Hitlerman

Radiotherapy September 25, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Well clearly he is the product of a socialist system.

Antispandex September 25, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I'm a veteran, and I have a huge jones for Rachel Maddow. I'm going to hell, huh? I can't help it, she's just so….smart and stuff. Do I have to give back my medals?

hagajim September 25, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I'm sure that will make Rachel cringe…a little anyway.

Tundra Grifter September 25, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Sounds to me like you should be in line for at least one more.

Guppy September 25, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Do I have to give back my medals?

There goes your Perfect Attendance merit badge…

docterry6973 September 25, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Give back your medals? You'll be lucky if they don't send you back to basic training.

Beowoof September 25, 2012 at 6:54 pm

I know smart girls are such a huge turn on for me. Too bad she will never be available at least to me.

Gleem McShineys September 25, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Daily Caller Headline: VETERAN NAMES HIS PENIS "JONES"

Dashboard Buddha September 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm

I would think American Jesus would have taken away your medals simply for participating on Wonkette.

docterry6973 September 25, 2012 at 10:33 pm

OT, but tonight Rachel made a Moby Dick joke while reporting on the length of the Florida ballot. I like Rachel.

ttommyunger September 25, 2012 at 11:23 pm

I think she is hot too, but sadly, she has teh ghey; as does another hottie-Stephanie Miller. I haz sadz…

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 25, 2012 at 5:29 pm

This reminds me, what is with that airplane window post from yesterday having over 100,000 views? Do people actually read this stuff?

Mumbletypeg September 25, 2012 at 5:43 pm

what is with that airplane window post from yesterday having over 100,000 views?

And "121 retweets." Weird.

ETA: just got another 300+ pageviews and an extra 'retweet' since you commented about it, BigDog. I bet that feels powerful!

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

But obvs it's being read by bastards with no sense of humor. Otherwise we would all have like 1000 thumbs on our comments. Sometimes I miss the thumbs down. I liked the satisfaction I would get in knowing I pissed everyone off.

weejee September 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Our beloved Editrix is already posting our advertisers about the extra viewing charges. She better be careful or she'll soon be up where Mittens wants to make the tax cuts.

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I hope not. My mother would be ashamed of me. Oh, wait, she is anyway. Carry on. Hi, mom!

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 25, 2012 at 6:49 pm

My mom would agree with the sentiment but be horrified by my almost constant cursing.

Boojum September 25, 2012 at 7:00 pm

My Mom and Dad died. Freedom!!!

No, wait….

sewollef September 26, 2012 at 9:35 am

Your mom post here too? Cool!

An_Outhouse September 25, 2012 at 8:45 pm

i posted it to facebook. that explains it.

Hammiepants September 25, 2012 at 5:30 pm

My cat's name is Philbert. Seriously. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

kittensdontlie September 25, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Has he recently had a change in employment? Possibly in the pet pschology field??

CindynEncinitas September 25, 2012 at 7:57 pm

I had a parrot named Philbert! No lie!

ManchuCandidate September 25, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Teabagger1: I don't trust anione who is a Nero Psycho!
Teabagger2: The Cocks are the nicest, sanest and reasonable people I have ever known. Plane as the gay on my face.

Jus_Wonderin September 25, 2012 at 5:31 pm

My ex wife used to get so irritable when she was visited by her Monthly Caller.

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Just think how irritable she'd be if she got the Daily Caller.

Tequila Mockingbird September 25, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Okay, I'll admit it: I'm Susan Sarandon. Come at me, DC.

KeepFnThatChicken September 25, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Tell Dish to put your channel back on the goddamn basic HD package. Jonesing over here.

deit: Whoops! Sarandon? Might as well be Oprah, and I ain't watchin' her channel either.

doloras September 25, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Dammit, Janet, I love you.

glasspusher September 25, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Dammit, Janet, you're a slut.

hagajim September 25, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Who is this Keith Olbermann fella? Seem to remember something about him and the snowbilly grifter being tenuously connected.

Chichikovovich September 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Aw, geez Jimmy, it was a long time ago, back in the last century, it was. Him and another guy, name a' Patrick the other guy was, had thesselves a sports show on some channel that showed sports games that nobody wanted tuh watch, like that crazy kickball game from Austraylee. But Devil take me if I lie, Jimmy, that was the best damndest show anybuddy'd ever saw.

Then one day he up'n quit and nobody ever heard from him again.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 11:01 pm

You see, once upon a time, there was this angry sports dude who got fired from everything he did, and then he righteously took his road show to politics and smashed it all the hell up and didn't play well with others, so they banished him to triple-digit TVland, never to be heard from, again.

Blueb4sinrise September 25, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Is that a nipple?

kittensdontlie September 25, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Looks like a ripple.

Beowoof September 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Which reminds that a drink would be in order. Damn a throw back to cheap 70's sweet wine.

glasspusher September 25, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Funny, I was thinking the same thing…

Tundra Grifter September 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm

However, if Lt. Col. Mike Russell had refused to go to Afghanistan because he hadn't seen President Obama's long-form birf certificate, or had posted nasty remarks on Facebook about our Commander in Chief, the idiots at The Daily Trawler would be treating him like an American hero.

YouBetcha September 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I'm so glad we have the Daily Caller to ferret out these important issues of our time.

bobbert September 26, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Obligatory "That's an insult to ferrets everywhere".

slowhansolo September 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm

That's some mighty fine journalism. The height of public service. Or something.

KeepFnThatChicken September 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm

No, he was a sports reporter for some running back who was tenuously connected to Snowbilly.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm

This Philbert guy sounds kinda nutty to me.

kittensdontlie September 25, 2012 at 6:17 pm

But that Hazel, she is the real nut.

bobbert September 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Stop naming nuts.

Tundra Grifter September 25, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Nuttier than squirrel poop.

Madam Killjoy September 25, 2012 at 10:56 pm

ISWYDT and I lurve it!

fuflans September 25, 2012 at 5:37 pm

to be fair, 'philbert' has more gravitas than 'williard'.

Jukesgrrl September 25, 2012 at 5:38 pm

From this article I deduce that the Koch Brothers have yet to complete their infiltration of all Pentagon organizations. And they expect us to let them run the ENTIRE GOVERNMENT?! What good is all that money if simple military retirees are still allowed access to the tubez of the interwebs?

elviouslyqueer September 25, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Somewhere, there is a cock that is in desperate need of Jamie Weinstein's oral ministrations.

WhatTheHeck September 25, 2012 at 5:40 pm

WE HAVE TO FIND PHILBERT

Isn’t that some kind of Nut?

Jus_Wonderin September 25, 2012 at 5:46 pm

What, Waldo retire?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 25, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Isn't that what the space hippies called Kirk?

Sharkey September 25, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Check with Q*bert.

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Sometimes it feels like one. Sometimes it doesn't.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 25, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Busted!

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 5:42 pm

They still get to vote, though. Right, Daily Caller?

SayItWithWookies September 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

So this is how the Daily Caller edits their stories? They come out with a slew of alleged partisan stuff by a guy who then says he sold the forum two years ago, and they're like "Well, publish the story anyway." Really? I guess it was either run with the story or just have a big blank webpage where the story would've been, since deadlines are deadlines in this new internet world.

emmelemm September 25, 2012 at 5:50 pm

The Internet is a race. (I've heard.)

SorosBot September 25, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Hell a shitload of places are still filled with "First!" moronic assdouches.

Jus_Wonderin September 25, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Somewhere, an LOLCat is tearing up at the waste of the Internet.

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 6:18 pm

What — did you want them to dump it after they'd spent all that time and brain power on researching it?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 25, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Time and … what, again?

Terry September 25, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Remember that facts are sort of foreign to Republicans

imissopus September 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Someone please tell me what I'm supposed to be outraged about.

Pithaughn September 25, 2012 at 6:05 pm

When our media types take a break from just straight stenography of campaign talking points, they come up with drivel like this.

Terry September 25, 2012 at 6:55 pm

You are supposed to be outraged that some in the military or a military retiree might not be a teabagger

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Beats me, I'm just here for the donuts.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 11:04 pm

You're supposed to be mad that there is a something besides conservatives in the military.

stanpan September 25, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I simply do not care for anything the Daily Cholera has to say.

bflrtsplk September 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Obtuse? How about just plain stupid?

SorosBot September 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Yeah but at least he doesn't wear a bow tie.

trampndirtdown September 25, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Matt Smith libel!

doloras September 25, 2012 at 5:51 pm

A "broad conspiracy"? Isn't that an oxymoron?

No, wait, Rush is the Oxy Moron.

Tundra Grifter September 25, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Or Moran. As the case may be.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/bl

mbobier September 25, 2012 at 5:51 pm

The Army's "brain testing program" sounds pretty suspect to me. Mmmmm….. Brains…..

Tundra Grifter September 25, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Probably a step ahead of the GNoP's "Brain Donor" Program.

GunToting[Redacted] September 25, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Be on the lookout for the Zombie Army "Brain Tasting" program.

DahBoner September 25, 2012 at 11:42 pm

The army's bullets always bounce off the zombies…

qwerty42 September 25, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Oh no. I'm not being tricked to follow a link to their site. Well, the comments would be *very* funny, but you have to scrub clean afterwards because of teh stoopid. OK, the free-floating paranoia is really tempting …

emmelemm September 25, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I believe the technical term is "Silkwood shower".

Designer_Rants September 25, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Once a year is enough for me. I start taunting the zombies, and the next thing I know, I'm getting email updates of replies to my nastygrams for 2 years.

iburl September 25, 2012 at 5:56 pm

At least $3.5 million of Foster Friess's money and this is what the Daily Callgirl comes up with? Makes his investments in Rick Santorum seem sane by comparison.

Callyson September 25, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Um, what?

Hedley_Lamarr September 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I'm a military retiree. I fucking DARE you to call me.

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Can't we just text first and see where that goes? ;-)

Hedley_Lamarr September 25, 2012 at 8:13 pm

When I mention "texting" here at the old folks home they break out the Scrabble board.

LibertyLover September 26, 2012 at 2:17 am

Heh… what branch?

Schmannnity September 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

The guy sounds pretty cogent and reasonable until the Olbermann thing.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Hey, Olbermann is a perfectly cromulent liberal.

mavenmaven September 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

The secret operative's name isn't Philbert, but Perry. Perry the Platypus.

Boojum September 25, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Phineas and Ferb libel!!!

calliecallie September 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm

I can’t find anyone with even a Bachelors [degree] in History in Mississippi.

That actually may be a good thing, given our Sunday instruction on Christian history books.

And why do you need a bachelor's degree in history to work in brain testing? Also.

BlueStateLibel September 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Why is the army working on brain testing anyway?

Maybe they should be spending more time on helping homeless unemployed vets.

MistaEko September 25, 2012 at 6:12 pm

The uselessness of that article is suddenly making me harken back to the days of my dissertation.

glasspusher September 25, 2012 at 8:46 pm

If it got you a degree, it wasn't entirely useless…

Blunderthing September 25, 2012 at 6:15 pm

B-B-B-B-Buuuuuurrrrrnnnn the witch!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 25, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Just when I thought Olbermann had used up all his good will, the Daily Caller makes me like him again.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 25, 2012 at 6:23 pm

"The crack team over at the Daily Caller has come out with a new, knuckle-cracking dragging investigation that gets to the root of yet another broad liberal conspiracy."

fify

valthemus September 25, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Who didn't know they were all on crack? But that they require an entire team to collect it is simply vulgar.

BaldarTFlagass September 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Your move, Smedley Butler. Wait! Your move, David Hackworth. Wait! Ah, fuck it.

ttommyunger September 25, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Two genuine heroes, in my opinion.

BaldarTFlagass September 26, 2012 at 8:35 am

Despite his radicality, there is a marine camp in Okinawa named for Butler. I wonder if Hackworth will ever be so honored. You must have been active duty around the time he got his self into the shit with the brass, Tom?

ttommyunger September 26, 2012 at 8:48 am

I sincerely doubt it. Butler waited until he was separated from Active Duty before admitting his Apostasy. David spoke truth to power while in command. That cannot stand, donchaknow? David's death of bladder cancer while receiving treatment in a Mexican Clinic was barely mentioned by anyone Stateside, especially the Army. Almost makes me proud I have two Honorable Discharges (Army-USMC) yet not one Good Conduct Medal. FTA! FTC!

chascates September 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Now we know where the really obnoxious assholes from high school ended up.

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Is it a requirement to wear a bowtie?

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I AM Philbertacus!!!

BlueStateLibel September 25, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Posting on message boards should be illegal!!!

Mittens Howell, III September 25, 2012 at 6:50 pm

As promised, your Special Comment on the Daily Caller:

BBRRRRPPPPTTTT!!!

Designer_Rants September 25, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Spiiiiicy!

MissTaken September 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

My tin foil hat is scratchy.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 25, 2012 at 7:05 pm

But it looks good. Jaunty!

natl_indecency_cmdr September 25, 2012 at 6:59 pm

This is so much worse than those retired colonels etc getting paid to lie on the tv about teh Iraq. This is way worse.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 25, 2012 at 9:49 pm

It makes felony convictions sound tame.

UW8316154 September 25, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Philbert? Philbert Hazelnut?!? ah yes, I know him well…..

Chet Kincaid_ September 25, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Is he one of the men who stare at goats?

chascates September 25, 2012 at 7:42 pm

With carnal intent.

Angry_Marmot September 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Tucker says the goat was staring back at him.

Steverino247 September 25, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Eying little goats with bad intent…

Chow Yun Flat September 25, 2012 at 7:33 pm

In any case, we should be incensed because the guy likes Keith Olbermann.

I am not incensed, just puzzled that anyone likes KO.

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 7:51 pm

No snark here but I still like KO because he had the courage in an age of Republican talking heads everywhere to make it ok to not be ashamed to say that the Republican leadership in this country was full of crap (individual Republicans that get duped by the likes of Fox News and Rushbo not so much.)

I am not sure why he is so hard to work with though. I wish him well. It's not easy speaking truth to power.

trampndirtdown September 25, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Also too he semi sponsored Rachael.

Designer_Rants September 25, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Just came here to point out that I saw a picture of an Amero.

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Um… I thought those were like unicorns…. imaginary fantasy creatures…

Not sure what else to say except What a good idea — The Euro has worked out so well in Europe.

Designer_Rants September 25, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I saw it on some weird Paultard facebook page – I was surprised. But not curious enough to ask where it came from and then endure the inevitable conspiracy theory rhetoric.

So I Googled! I like the paper Amero with the deer on it.

Steverino247 September 25, 2012 at 9:38 pm

You Googled?! Wash your hands!

GeorgiaBurning September 25, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Considering the exchange rate now, Canadian money may do just as well.

iburl September 25, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I'll bet you 10 Becks, 1 Paul, and a plucked chicken, that's a counterfeit.

bobbert September 26, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I don't think you can counterfeit something that doesn't exist.

Comrade Wingtardd September 25, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I recall back in the Bush years being routinely threatened by conservatives that they would find out where I work and inform my boss of my posts, find out where I live, etc. I know of several instances of conservatives calling peoples' places of work and complaining about internet libtard behavior of their employees.

LibertyLover September 26, 2012 at 2:21 am

Well duh… we were at war and conservatards always always always support the COC in a time of war (except in 2009- present day for some reason – can't figure that one out.)

barto September 25, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Phind Philbert Phor The Whin!

Gleem McShineys September 25, 2012 at 8:07 pm

So this is just like a witch hunt, except instead of a witch, you find a note stuck to your back that says "I am an assclown" and then you look down and your bowtie has fallen into a puddle of what looks like liquid shit, so you decide to make the best of it, and put it all up on the internet for all to see?

carlosmuecke September 25, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I usually like the snark here, but this one is pretty asinine.

Dashboard Buddha September 25, 2012 at 8:50 pm

This is just sad. This must be what desperation in free fall looks like.

rocktonsam September 25, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I was just thinking the other day who we haven't heard from lately. Turns out, Keef wasn't the one i was thinking of.

Steverino247 September 25, 2012 at 9:40 pm

He's right about Army psychiatrists, though. Fucking awful, some of them.

bobbert September 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm

His supply and demand example would seem to explain that.

sullivanst September 25, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Daily Callgirl is incensed that the good Lt. Col. will not pay it for the sexytimes, because the Daily Callgirl is fugly.

LionHeartSoyDog September 25, 2012 at 9:55 pm

FTA!!!

True then. More truer today.

Madam Killjoy September 25, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Mmmmm. Entenmann's Philbert Coffee Cake! Nom, nom, as the kids say.

docterry6973 September 25, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Mike Russell. Sounds Muslin.

ElPinche September 25, 2012 at 10:43 pm

The Daily Caller is outsourcing the best of the best journalist mercs on this, James O'Keefe as soon as they can come up with the bail money.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 10:48 pm

That post had more twists than the Kama Sutra and more turns than a suburban Atlanta thoroughfare. My head hurts.

OneYieldRegular September 25, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Can't they just rename it "The Daily Prank Caller"? That way they'd be more sure that no one would accidentally take them seriously.

Negropolis September 25, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Honestly, they should try to become the conservative Onion…mostly so that they'll go away entirely since conservatives aren't (intentionally) funny.

bobbert September 26, 2012 at 1:05 pm

It's not the conservative Onion? You mean, these articles are supposed to be REAL?

ffredpalakon September 25, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Tucker Carlson is like journalism's Lindsay Lohan. The stories involving him will always be ridiculous, he'll never return to anything like actual relevancy, he'll always come off as shameless, desperate and spoiled. The only difference I can think of is that I actually feel sorry for Lohan and I've never wanted to see Carlson naked.

bobbert September 26, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Well, and Tucker is way richer.

ttommyunger September 25, 2012 at 11:28 pm

As a veteran of our US Army, I can attest that an Army Psychiatrist has got to be as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

Stevola September 26, 2012 at 12:37 am

Never trust anyone who posts on message boards

BTWBFDIMHO September 26, 2012 at 2:04 am

That picture is worth a thousand conspiration theories.

lizunyan September 26, 2012 at 2:12 am

This comment by "Wowey" on the article is AMAZING:

"Wasn't the Aurora murderer also in some "neuro-somethng" program…At least he tried. this guy apparently made it into the gang. I always thought that " neuro " meant the "brain/nerves/surgery " branch of Psychiatry. What is a neuro-Psycholigist? Where does malpractice begin? Just ASking. Is Keith a patient?

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2012/09/24/us-armys-senior

Fukui-sanYesOta September 26, 2012 at 1:15 am

Good evening chaps and chapesses. I'm off for a bit. Nothing really bad like cancer or anything, I just have to leave to sort some things out. Maybe I'll be around, maybe not; but probably not.

Love you people.

Fukui

LibertyLover September 26, 2012 at 2:23 am

Be well. Sort away.

AlterNewt September 26, 2012 at 2:39 am

Take care. You make this place better when you are here.

Radiotherapy September 26, 2012 at 6:46 am

Fukui, you are more loved than you love us.
We will miss you greatly.
Stay safe and sound.
And check in now and again.

bobbert September 26, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Stay safe.

VodkaGoGo November 6, 2012 at 4:27 am

Wondered where you've been, see I actually went looking for you. Hope you're doing well, come on back to us soon. You are missed.

mrblifil September 26, 2012 at 5:25 am

Sounds like the training program for military psychiatry is less rigorous than preparing to be a replacement ref.

CalvinsChoice September 26, 2012 at 9:17 am

Administer- that's got something to do with advertising and religion, right?

Peckerwood_Pete September 26, 2012 at 9:25 am

So you can get PAID for being a troll? As in…. employment? Holy hell… count me IN! I troll for free on most sites…. when I should be working…

Esteev September 26, 2012 at 9:43 am

I think this may be a joke. Intrepid "reporter" Jamie Weinstein was the winner of 2011 "Funniest Celebrity in Washington" contest.

Yellerdawg September 26, 2012 at 9:54 am

There is nothing in the bible about brains, so no one in Mississippi sees the need to have one, let alone test for something that's obviously a liberal lie.

Phoenix_Bird September 28, 2012 at 1:55 am

"When retired Lt. Col. Mike Russell isn’t working as the program manger…"

What's a "program manger"?

LibertyLover September 25, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Phyllis Diller.

Dashboard Buddha September 25, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Where in the world is that crazy chick?

Geminisunmars September 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Melissa McCarthy would play the young me.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 25, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Naaahh…shouldn't be a problem since most Daily Caller writers like Freepers are still current virgins. Freepers always say it's because of demonic feminism that they can't score, that way they never have to admit that women aren't turned on by their best PBR stained Ted Nugent '86 tour shirts on dates (when Freepers can get a date). Daily Caller nerds are more like Marcus Bachmann…they don't find women sexy but can never figure out why…and for some reason they have those fireman calenders hanging up to appreciate masculinity. That's my theory as to why wingnuts are so macho obsessed…the Village People.

Dashboard Buddha September 25, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I met Walter Cronkite once…at Disney World of all places. Shook his hand even. Obviously I am complicit in the loss of the Vietnam war.

Steverino247 September 25, 2012 at 9:28 pm

But on the positive side, you had a hand in the sailing of the USS Constitution, too!

BTWBFDIMHO September 25, 2012 at 11:43 pm

I met and I kissed Sonia Braga once. Yes, indeedy, well after she dated Robert Redford and Pat Metheny, among other ex-wonketteratti.

Doktor Zoom September 26, 2012 at 12:18 am

I met Werner von Braun when I was 10.

13 years later, Challenger blew up.

actor212 September 26, 2012 at 9:20 am

I dated Bob McAllister's daughters.

You know, Wonderama? So clearly I am personally responsible for its cancellation and the subsequent dumbing down of America's youth.

Where I grew up, you couldn't spit without hitting someone on TV.

AznMom420 September 26, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I went to school with Irwin Rommel's grandchildren, proving once and for all Obama is Islamo-Hitler.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: