this is the end my only friend

Oh Yeah, Mitt’s Mormon Mexican Cousin Thinks We Should Legalize It Also Too

Drugs are bad mmmkay?And so Vice’s foray to Me-hee-co, to the Mormons and the cartels, comes to an end. You guys loved it so much! Anything happen this time, besides a general wrap-up? YES. Mitt Romney’s Mexico-born cousin Kelly Romney, who is a terrible Christian, says to leeeegalize it.

Also, they talk about Fast & Furious some. Somebody tell Matthew Boyle and the Daily Caller, please! They could use some backup since their crusade crashed and burned.

Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five and Six.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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        1. UnholyMoses

          Green Bay was robbed, raped, beaten, had its wallet stolen, and was dumped in a ditch.

          Fixed to more appropriately sum up how Packers fans (such as my wife) really feel today.

          1. UnholyMoses

            Well, okay. I'll give ya that one.

            How illegitimate rape? Is that kosher (or whatever the hell the Mormon equivalent of kosher is)?

        2. Incitefully_Joe

          I do admit that there's a not-so-small, very trollish corner of my psyche that kinda hopes that the lockout continues into the post-season, 4tehlulz.

          I asked my girlfriend to imagine if the scab refs ended up officiating the Super Bowl, and she said that the word "murdertrain" spontaneously popped into her head for some reason.

          1. UnholyMoses

            I'm a rather GIFUCKINGGANTIC Chiefs fan* and … well, yeah. That would suck more than almost all sucky things that have ever sucked.

            But I'm w/ the refs on this one. Fuck the owners — fight for that pension, dudes.

            Not like KC will be in the Super Bowl anyway, so WTF do I care?

            (* Also the Royals, because: a.) I'm from KC; b.) championships are overrated anyway because SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT'S WHY!!!)

          2. UnholyMoses

            Okay … I'll give ya that one. Four teams full of failure >* two teams.**

            Note: I hate the Phillies due to the 1980 World Series, when the Royals — and my nine-year-old heart — were crushed in six games.

            (* Maybe that should be a < symbol … ?)

            (** Not counting the Kings, Scouts, or Wiz/Wizards/Sporting KC.)

          3. actor212

            Imma jus leave this here:

            Mets, Jets, Knicks, Rangers.

            I added it up one night: right now, I'm more than a full century from a championship if you combine all the dry spells. Even the most recent was 20 years ago, now.

        3. Lascauxcaveman

          As a Seahawks fan, I must point out the rule says that when two go up and both of them get their hands on the ball, and they both keep their hands on the ball when they come down, the tie goes to the receiver.

          But yeah, the defender actually had possession; GB got hosed.

          That's football. Just like the 2006 Super Bowl.

          (Yes, we're still pissed off about that.)

          1. UnholyMoses

            Actually, the rules say that when two players HAVE SIMULTANEOUS POSSESSION and both come down with the ball, still with SIMULTANEOUS POSSESSION, the tie goes to the receiver.

            Sorry, but sticking one hand under a defenders arm on the way down in order to touch the ball =/= possession.

            No way in this or any other reality did that play qualify. The GB player made the catch, while the Seahawks player just shoved his hand in there on the way down (after pushing off in what is the most blatant example of offensive pass interference I've ever seen in 30+ years of watching football).

            It was a blown call. Period.

            ADDING: Oh hell yes y'all are still mad about being screwed in the Super Bowl, and you should be!

          2. Lascauxcaveman

            That's kinda what I meant when I said "But yeah, the defender actually had possession; GB got hosed."

            But WTF, it's a game, neener neener neener, 2006 SuperBowl, etc. ad infinitum.

          3. UnholyMoses

            I am so sorry — not having a good day, and have had the same discussion about eleventy infinity times already. Didn't mean to jump on you.

            Again, my apologies …

          4. bobbert

            Like I said to Chet on another thread, if there was a team that might deserve a years-late make-up call, it would be the Seahawks. If the Packers end up missing the playoffs by one game, it'll be annoying, but it is, in fact, just entertainment.

  1. Antispandex

    Any way we can get this Kelly fellow to replace the Mittster? Oh, right, born in Mexico. Still, I know a place in L.A. where you can get a birth certificate that looks almost real, and besides, rules like that only apply to American born black folk, so…

  2. MissTaken

    No caffeine or alcohol (exclusion of tequila because the water makes you violently poop there), but they're totes cool with the wacky tobacky? I mean, I'm cool with pot, too, but love my vino much more. Much more.

  3. Schmannnity

    Mitt would get on board too except everyone always says: legalize it so it can be taxed and regulated by the government. Obviously, legalizing it is anti-capitalist.

  4. FakaktaSouth

    I'll betcha somewhere, sometime Mitt has also said legalize it, as well as execute people for smoking it. He likes to cut a wide swath…but I also know he'd say he grew it for Ann's MS if he thought it'd win him this terrible election. I am ready for this to be over now, thank you.

  5. chicken_thief

    Nice lawn, dude. But, given the ease of finding Messican labor in Meh-hee-co, that should be no surprise.

  6. Robman2

    Clowns should never get out of the car at the same spot in the circus ring.

    I said weeks ago, Rayn is upstaging Rmoney, every single time they appear together, makes him look bad.

  7. ttommyunger

    Just guessing here, but I'd bet the Messican R'Moneys are about as popular down there as the Michigan ones are up here. Difference is: down there they use bullets-lots of them; not ballots like we do.

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