this is the end my only friend

Oh Yeah, Mitt’s Mormon Mexican Cousin Thinks We Should Legalize It Also Too

Drugs are bad mmmkay?And so Vice’s foray to Me-hee-co, to the Mormons and the cartels, comes to an end. You guys loved it so much! Anything happen this time, besides a general wrap-up? YES. Mitt Romney’s Mexico-born cousin Kelly Romney, who is a terrible Christian, says to leeeegalize it.

Also, they talk about Fast & Furious some. Somebody tell Matthew Boyle and the Daily Caller, please! They could use some backup since their crusade crashed and burned.

Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five and Six.
[Vice]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • DrunkIrishman

    Guillermo?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Holy crap! This is STILL going on? It's like the Jets game yesterday.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      And the finish left me unsatisfied, confused, and more than a little upset, also just like the other night!

      I mean the Packers/Seahawks game. Pervs.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        As much as I dislike the NFC, and football in general, I gotta say Green Bay was robbed.

        • UnholyMoses

          Green Bay was robbed, raped, beaten, had its wallet stolen, and was dumped in a ditch.

          Fixed to more appropriately sum up how Packers fans (such as my wife) really feel today.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            Scott Walker agrees that these scab refs are terrible.

            He also has some trouble with the notion of "irony".

          • SorosBot

            How do you like your Rand now, Scott? This is exactly what you want.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Well, I wouldn't compare it to rape, now. That would make me a Blah woman FOX panelist.

          • UnholyMoses

            Well, okay. I'll give ya that one.

            How illegitimate rape? Is that kosher (or whatever the hell the Mormon equivalent of kosher is)?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Oh yea, sure. She's asking for it.

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

          I do admit that there's a not-so-small, very trollish corner of my psyche that kinda hopes that the lockout continues into the post-season, 4tehlulz.

          I asked my girlfriend to imagine if the scab refs ended up officiating the Super Bowl, and she said that the word "murdertrain" spontaneously popped into her head for some reason.

          • UnholyMoses

            I'm a rather GIFUCKINGGANTIC Chiefs fan* and … well, yeah. That would suck more than almost all sucky things that have ever sucked.

            But I'm w/ the refs on this one. Fuck the owners — fight for that pension, dudes.

            Not like KC will be in the Super Bowl anyway, so WTF do I care?

            (* Also the Royals, because: a.) I'm from KC; b.) championships are overrated anyway because SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT'S WHY!!!)

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            Hey, I totally get it. I went to school just outside Philly, with such illustrious teams as the Phillies, Flyers, Sixers, and the Eagles when they really sucked.

          • UnholyMoses

            Okay … I'll give ya that one. Four teams full of failure >* two teams.**

            Note: I hate the Phillies due to the 1980 World Series, when the Royals — and my nine-year-old heart — were crushed in six games.

            (* Maybe that should be a < symbol … ?)

            (** Not counting the Kings, Scouts, or Wiz/Wizards/Sporting KC.)

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Imma jus leave this here:

            Mets, Jets, Knicks, Rangers.

            I added it up one night: right now, I'm more than a full century from a championship if you combine all the dry spells. Even the most recent was 20 years ago, now.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          As a Seahawks fan, I must point out the rule says that when two go up and both of them get their hands on the ball, and they both keep their hands on the ball when they come down, the tie goes to the receiver.

          But yeah, the defender actually had possession; GB got hosed.

          That's football. Just like the 2006 Super Bowl.

          (Yes, we're still pissed off about that.)

          • UnholyMoses

            Actually, the rules say that when two players HAVE SIMULTANEOUS POSSESSION and both come down with the ball, still with SIMULTANEOUS POSSESSION, the tie goes to the receiver.

            Sorry, but sticking one hand under a defenders arm on the way down in order to touch the ball =/= possession.

            No way in this or any other reality did that play qualify. The GB player made the catch, while the Seahawks player just shoved his hand in there on the way down (after pushing off in what is the most blatant example of offensive pass interference I've ever seen in 30+ years of watching football).

            It was a blown call. Period.

            ADDING: Oh hell yes y'all are still mad about being screwed in the Super Bowl, and you should be!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            That's kinda what I meant when I said "But yeah, the defender actually had possession; GB got hosed."

            But WTF, it's a game, neener neener neener, 2006 SuperBowl, etc. ad infinitum.

          • UnholyMoses

            I am so sorry — not having a good day, and have had the same discussion about eleventy infinity times already. Didn't mean to jump on you.

            Again, my apologies …

          • bobbert

            Like I said to Chet on another thread, if there was a team that might deserve a years-late make-up call, it would be the Seahawks. If the Packers end up missing the playoffs by one game, it'll be annoying, but it is, in fact, just entertainment.

  • StealthMuslin

    How can anyone be Mormon without a Thorazine shunt?

    • UnholyMoses

      Two words:

      Head. Trauma.

      • Isyaignert

        Brain. Wash.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Romneys are just proof that they like to fuck a lot.

  • nounverb911

    Has Mitt announced that he's running for president of Mexico yet?

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      It'd be easier for him to win if he were actually Latino.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I heard somewhere that it was good for Umara Composis and Goats love to play with it.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I'd say cartels are people, too, mi amigo, but 1) that's too easy and 2) it's true.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    This series has more episodes than Mitt's cousins have wives.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      Than Carter's got pills.

  • OzoneTom

    Can we pay a ransom where they have to keep the Rmoneys?

    • mrpuma2u

      Si se puede!!!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    So he's gonna vote for Liz Warren? Good for him.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Is this the one where they blow up the Death Star and then we have to suffer through fifteen minutes of stone-age Ewoks playing electronica, or is this the other one?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This has been the weirdest episode of Breaking Bad ever.

  • ph7

    Mormons legalizing pot? I don't get it. It's like the celibate legalizing prostitution.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      So like Ron Paul?

      • SorosBot

        Just as long as the prostitutes can't use birth control or get abortions!

  • Baconzgood

    NEEDEDZ MOAR $2 TIJUANA PROSTITUTEZ!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Antispandex

    Any way we can get this Kelly fellow to replace the Mittster? Oh, right, born in Mexico. Still, I know a place in L.A. where you can get a birth certificate that looks almost real, and besides, rules like that only apply to American born black folk, so…

    • chicken_thief

      Made in Meh-hee-co didn't stop Jorge Romney from running.

  • MissTaken

    No caffeine or alcohol (exclusion of tequila because the water makes you violently poop there), but they're totes cool with the wacky tobacky? I mean, I'm cool with pot, too, but love my vino much more. Much more.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      And wine is even in the Bibble!

    • chicken_thief

      Is that a pack of cigs in Senor Romney's right front pants pocket?

      • Isyaignert

        No, he's just happy to see you.

  • UnholyMoses

    In Mexico, the pot plants are just the right height.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Tijuana! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains
      And the waving weed can sure smell sweet
      When the wind comes right behind the bong…

  • Schmannnity

    Mitt would get on board too except everyone always says: legalize it so it can be taxed and regulated by the government. Obviously, legalizing it is anti-capitalist.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I'll betcha somewhere, sometime Mitt has also said legalize it, as well as execute people for smoking it. He likes to cut a wide swath…but I also know he'd say he grew it for Ann's MS if he thought it'd win him this terrible election. I am ready for this to be over now, thank you.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      baconz?

    • Negropolis

      Fake bacon is a sacrilege and a false prophet/profit.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Even turkey bacon, made from that most noble of beasts, the turkey, sucketh the root.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, Ryan is in favor of legalizing it. Romney's Mexican Cousin are in favor of legalizing it.

    Clearly we need President Lisa Simpson!

  • kittensdontlie

    We have to kill the movement to legalize pot, so that we can save the drug cartels.—Mittens

    • azeyote

      us growers don't want to pay no stinking taxes on turning the gange.

  • Estproph

    Can we switch Romneys with Mexico?

  • chicken_thief

    Nice lawn, dude. But, given the ease of finding Messican labor in Meh-hee-co, that should be no surprise.

  • pinkocommi

    I see this side of the Romney clan has gone to pot.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Mittenz always ignores the obvious.

  • DahBoner

    By "it", you mean raping 15-year old sister wives, amirite?

  • Robman2

    Clowns should never get out of the car at the same spot in the circus ring.

    I said weeks ago, Rayn is upstaging Rmoney, every single time they appear together, makes him look bad.

  • ttommyunger

    Just guessing here, but I'd bet the Messican R'Moneys are about as popular down there as the Michigan ones are up here. Difference is: down there they use bullets-lots of them; not ballots like we do.