epistolary romance

Hillary Clinton Aide Invites Buzzfeed Reporter To Do Sexual Congress Elsewhere

U mad?In a shocking display of online rudeness unmatched since the time Ari Fleischer told Helen Thomas “Tits or GTFO,” Buzzfeed reports that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s occasionally-poetic* press aide, Philippe Reines, got into an email pissing match with Buzzfeed reporter Michael Hastings. The flame war evidently started in a heated discussion of Call of Duty: Black Ops CNN’s handling of the diary of Ambassador Christopher Stevens, which its reporters found in the debris of the US Consulate in Libya, and then escalated into an exchange of very undiplomatic language between the reporter and the press aide. The messages start off relatively civil, if prickly:

Hastings: Why didn’t the State Department search the consulate and find AMB Steven’s diary first?… Your statement on CNN sounded pretty defensive–do you think it’s the media’s responsibility to help secure State Department assets overseas after they’ve been attacked?

Reines: Good morning Michael

…As far as the tone of my email, I think you’re misreading mine as much as I’m misreading yours as being needlessly antagonistic…

Your question seems to imply they have none and any expectation of responsible behavior is too much to ask. To be specific: I believe CNN had the responsibility to act as human beings and be sensitive to their loss when they first approached the family…

And then, the brutal honesty / passive-aggressive sniping (in the aftermath of a well-regarded ambassador’s death, from Reines’ perspective, and a whole lot of hasty State Department message-juggling, from Hastings’ POV) starts to kicks in:

Hastings: Thanks for getting back to me. No, you read my email correctly–I found your statement to CNN offensive.

From my perspective, the scandal here is that the State Department had such inadequate security procedures in place that four Americans were killed….

Reines: Why do you bother to ask questions you’ve already decided you know the answers to?

Hastings: Why don’t you give answers that aren’t bullshit for a change?

Reines: I now understand why the official investigation by the Department of the Defense as reported by The Army Times The Washington Post concluded beyond a doubt that you’re an unmitigated asshole.

How’s that for a non-bullshit response?

Now that we’ve gotten that out of our systems, have a good day.

And by good day, I mean Fuck Off

Hastings: Hah–I now understand what women say about you, too! Any new complaints against you lately?

Reines: Talk about bullshit – answer me this: Do you only traffic in lies, or are you on the ground floor of creating them?

And since Fuck Off wasn’t clear enough, I’m done with you. Inside of 5 minutes when I can log into my desktop, you’ll be designated as Junk Mail.

Have a good life Michael.

Hastings: I’ll take that as a non-denial denial.

All the best,

Michael

Or perhaps this is more a case of Epic Butthurt. Our NFL scab referees are still reviewing the tape.

*UPDATE: Nice catch, Chet Kincaid!

[Atlantic Wire / Buzzfeed]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

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  • bumfug

    Ah, the delicate nuances that are the language of diplomacy!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Hm. If "Have a good day" = "Fuck off," then what does "Have a good life" mean?

      • Terry

        "Have a good life" = "F#$k off and die"

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          ….of votes! (keeping to the code)

      • Darthhippy

        Hope you die like a poor?

      • chicken_thief

        Bless your heart?

      • Mojopo

        "Kiss my grits"?

    • Schmannnity

      This must be what Clinton means when she says she has had "constructive talks where our viewpoints were expressed."

      • BerkeleyBear

        We each said our talking points without killing each other, pretty much.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Fuck you!"
    "No, fuck you!"

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      "No, fuck YOU!"

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Damn. Ya got me there.

      • SpeedoFart

        "No, FUCK YOU!"

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          "Oh no! Fuck YOU with a rusty chainsaw!"

          • SpeedoFart

            "Yeah? Fuck you right in the earhole, buddy!"

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            "Yea? Well, you and what fucking army?"

          • Chichikovovich

            Though you have to be careful with that one. High officials in the State Department often have a compelling rejoinder.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            (Don't stop 'em now, they're on a roll.)

          • SpeedoFart

            "The fucking army that boned your mom last night!"

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            "I'd have been your dad but the dalmatian beat me up the stairs!"

          • SpeedoFart

            "Oh yeah? Well that neutered dog has more fucking balls than you do, anyway!"

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            "That's probably why your Mom liked it so much she asked for seconds!"

          • SpeedoFart

            "And I bet you're jealous, ain'tcha?"

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            "Nah! I was holding ticket number 13"

          • SpeedoFart

            "Fuck you, asshole! My mama wouldn't fuck you if you were the last dickless wonder on Earth!"

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Skullf*ck all of you!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        "Same to you and many more!"

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          "I know you are but what am I?"

          PS – this was my brothers go to comeback when we were kids. The poor boy never stood a chance.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        And may you have hickies that require you to wear a turtleneck sweater in the summer!

    • anniegetyerfun

      This is honestly the kind of frank exchange that I'd like to see more of.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Fuck you too!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          "Yea! Fuck you!"

    • ProgressiveInga

      Kiss my ass! This is a HOLY PLACE!!!

      • glasspusher

        You use language like that in front of my son!? Fuck you and your family!

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      You can't fight here! This is the War Room!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Fuck that shit!

    • natl_indecency_cmdr

      "Oh, go fuck a duck."

    • Callyson

      And we have a five word summary of the 2012 election. Well done.

  • Terry

    Holy moley. A press aide is about to be moved to a new position and a CNN reporter is about to find that his access is substantially limited.

    • Mojopo

      Reines should be promoted. He's only saying what we're all thinking, which is exactly what a good press aide should do.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    This is the same Reines that wrote the lovely poem a while back? I like him.
    http://wonkette.com/481411/the-state-department-n

    Hastings was rushed to the hospital with third degree Looney Tunes exploding cigar facial burns.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I miss Ginger

    • Doktor Zoom

      Excellent catch! Adding linky to OP…

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        Whoa! It's like a weblog within a weblog within a …

        • Doktor Zoom

          shit sandwich?

          • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

            No, that was intended in the sense of "turtles all the way down".

            Speaking from the context of Wonkette (only) I found it interesting that you modified the original post with additional info from a commenter. Sometimes commenters point out serious critical errors that ultimately require updates to the original post. This was different.

            You incorporated a comment into your post that was not forced (out of error or misinterpretation or maliciousness). Only because of the additional context provided by one (or more?) commenter(s).

            I'm sure you're aware that commenters here routinely provide additional valuable context and that it routinely gets ignored.

            While I've got you on the line, why the difference? It's not so much a remark on your particular writing, which I think is great, but on the general approach to posts on popular blogs (including but not limited to Wonkette) that comments are "the other" remarks.

            Of course I know that your status is commenter-elevated-to-contributor and (again) I hold no grudges regarding that. There have probably been other isolated instances of commenters causing alterations to the original content in non-forced, non-embarrassing intent, but the question remains…

            How do you feel about changing your own post because of commenter feedback? I'll come out of the closet and say that I think it's totally awesome and should be done more often but, if taken to extreme, can potentially put a huge burden on the original author to perpetually add to his or her article / blog post / expression.

            In short I see not a shit sandwich but a willingness on your part to break the mold of the contemporary "blogger" and I'm prepared to admire that. Then again, maybe you just really like Chet. Hell, I also think he's awesome too so I'm probably just talking out of my ass.

          • Doktor Zoom

            Wow, thanks! I made the addition mostly because I thought it was pretty cool information–and in fact, it actually reminded me that I knew something about this guy, gave me context that shifted my opinion of him just a little. It also added to the overall impression of who Philippe Reines is — not just a government functionary who fired back to unwanted questions in an uncharacteristically blunt manner, but a government functionary with a bit of a history of doing so. (see also yesterday's Dana Milbank column) And really, it is the sort of connection that we try to build in when we can — routine for prominent news figures, more haphazard for deputy assistant secretaries of cabinet departments.

            I suppose my commenter-to-contributor status may have something to do with it, too, since, hey, I actually do have access to the "update" button, and I know that it's fun for us commenters to get an acknowledgement in the OP. As you note, there's a risk of endless tinkering, but probably not too much of a risk, since oh-my-god-I've-got-two-more-drafts-to work-on pressures pretty much preclude endless revisions. Most elaborations and extensions on a piece work best in the comments. And as I mentioned in one of the comments for the most recent Sunday-textbook thing, there's sometimes too much stuff in the OP, and as a chatty person I like being able to add more info in the comments.

            In any case, thanks for the compliment and for giving me a chance to think about how all this stuff works. We at Wonkette make our shit sandwiches from the finest ingredients! (Soylent Green is commenters!)

    • Limeylizzie

      I love this guy, Reines, I have always thought Hastings was a jumped-up little cunt.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    I'm pretty sure that Reines is a regular Wonkette commenter.

    • nounverb911

      Spanky2b?

    • mrpuma2u

      He shows the predilection for naughty words to fit right in here.

    • UnholyMoses

      Nah. It would need more wishes for skullfucking …

      … with VOTES!

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Email him a recruitment form before his Exchange account gets cuts the "fuck off".

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Gitmofeed.

  • emmelemm

    Are those actual quotes?

    Anyway, "And by good day, I mean Fuck Off" is my new LIFE MOTTO.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      And snazzy new email signature!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Laissez les bon temps roules!

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    He should have started with Fuck Off since it is Buzzfeed.

  • YouBetcha

    These are the people who are supposed to keep us from going to war with Iran? BRB stocking the bunker.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Our NFL scab referees are still reviewing the tape.

    Zombie Ayn Rand cheers for the scabby refs. 'Murican Feetzbawl fans, on the other hand, feel kinda stabby.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      You know who else tweeted private info about a person who'd provoked their indignation?

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        ♪♫ Tweetle, tweetle-dee, tweet, tweet ♫♪

      • Radiotherapy

        SYLT BLÅBÄR?

      • C_R_Eature
    • shelwood46

      After the scabs stole the game from the Pack, even Evil Governor is on the union's side. Football brings people together, aw.

  • hagajim

    Wow! Nice to see how our 4th estate gets along with the folks they're supposed to cover. I'd have junk mailed his ass as well.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Registered him with RentBoy.com

      • jqheywood

        Nah, you can't register someone who already has an account….

        ….or so I understand.

  • Fluffy_Kitties

    "I now understand why the official investigation by the Department of the Defense as reported by The Army Times The Washington Post concluded beyond a doubt that you’re an unmitigated asshole."

    Best. Quote. Ever!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Best variation I've ever heard is:

      "Does your rectum have teeth?"

      "No, of course not"

      "So you are a perfect asshole"

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Needs more "Oh yea?????" "Yea!"

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hey – why can't anybody comment on your site? Think of all the fun we could have – There would probably be a lot of exchanges like one cited in this article!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You have to click on an article then Intense Orgasm Debate pops up.

    • mayor_quimby

      I'm partial to "Fuck you and everything you stand for" or "Fuck you and everybody who looks like you"

      • emmelemm

        Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          "Fuck you, you fucking fuck"

          • prommie

            This now, this is how my dear old dad used to talk. He was a Bayonne Boy, Saint Peters.

          • CindynEncinitas

            My fave. Thanks, Actor.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            The first ten minutes of "The Way of the Gun" are a treasure trove of cursing. It would Sam Jackson pause.

  • SexySmurf

    I now understand why the official investigation by the Department of the Defense as reported by The Army Times The Washington Post concluded beyond a doubt that you’re an unmitigated asshole.

    I don't think that was a very good use of taxpayer dollars especially since it's so obvious Michael Hastings is an unmitigated asshole.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      You just know Paul Ryan will go to the House floor complaining about this waste of money.

    • Steverino247

      They had to verify that he was an unmitigated asshole before moving him up the target list. Happens all the time.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I don't think people should be allowed to talk like that.

    • UnholyMoses

      Then it's a good thing they were typing …

      • sewollef

        Boom.

        But I bet their fingers were bleeding after they'd finished hammering their keyboards.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        This is good news. I can type e-mails to people calling them a prick and then tell them I didn't say you were a prick. I typed it.

        • UnholyMoses

          I've done that. Honestly — tried it with my sister in law.

          Turns out that it does NOT work as well as you think it would.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Maaan. Last time I wrote an email like that at work I had to go to detention … er, I mean HR.

    • Theywontlisten

      I work in HR, I would have asked you to come to my office, listened to your explanation, reminded you of the company's electronic communications policy and secretly wanted to hug you and give you a big sloppy kiss for being one of my new heroes. Under my breath I would be mumbling, "the fucker it was sent to probably deserved it".

  • PubOption

    NPR ran this story this morning, although the language used on air was more…diplomatic (or Bowdlerized if you prefer). Example – "Why don't you give answers that aren't bogus for a change."

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Needs moar "Fuck Off".

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Yeah, I heard that too. Today (NPR = Reality x Leave It To Beaver).

  • mavenmaven

    Buzzfeed? Does this mean that Reines-Hastings is now a meme?

    • Exhausted66

      I thought Reies Hastings was chairman of the RNC.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    I finger-punched the search box and discovered that Monsieur Reines has a long history on the Wonkets. He was Senator Clinton's Press Secretary in 2007, and apparently sent out an email campaigning for a higher position on a poll of Male Media Hotties:
    http://wonkette.com/283010/philippe-reines-hottie

    • Doktor Zoom

      I finger-punched the search box…

      I bet you did, Chet. I bet you did.

    • prommie

      Is that like "cock-punching the fartbox?" Now there is an old Wonkette classic I have not heard in too long. And Assfucking! And Warblogging!

      • Doktor Zoom

        "tongue-punched," actually,

        • prommie

          Ooops, thanks there, Doc.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I thought it was "tongue jacked"?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Wow, he's like Scott Baio's special needs brother.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Annie, you think? Then call me a freak cause I want me some of that!

  • SorosBot

    I am very disappointed in the inappropriate language used by Mr. Reines; he should at least have a "cocksucker" and "motherfucker" in there too.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Plus the obligatory "douchebag" and "fuckbucket" thrown it for good measure.

      • anniegetyerfun

        "Fuckbucket" really rolls off the tongue. I'm going to employ it on my commute home today.

        • Mojopo

          I've been using cockbucket a lot lately. I think I got it from Doktor Zoom.

          • CindynEncinitas

            Cockbucket? Just in time for Christmas!

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        Fuck Buckler might work as well.

      • SorosBot

        Those shit-for-brains cock-knobbling doucheshit turdfucks.

    • Doktor Zoom

      To be fair, he was in a hurry.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        There should always be time to support a position with carefully crafted language….aw fuck……………………

    • ChrisM2011

      Cock Knocker is a personal favorite. More Cock Knocker in government (Wait- I've just been informed that we already have enough..)!

      • prommie

        "Fartknocker" was popularized by Peter Falk's character in Tune In Tomorrow, his greatest work.

    • natl_indecency_cmdr

      No one used the term "fuckwit" either. Harrumph!

    • miss_grundy

      And for good measure, comemierda, which should be the name for a lot of reporters at CNN except for Soledad O'Brien, because she seems to be the only one asking intelligent questions lately….

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      What about twatwaffle, analickenspator, and cuntnugget?

      For the sake of gender equality I need to add cockjammer, taint-twister, and glanshammer.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Ed Murrow was a pussy. Bill O'Reilly is where journalism is, baby.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I am not sure how this bodes for the next twenty years. Though, I must admit I am curious.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Some people just don't understand what "Fuck Off" means (my boss, especially).

  • BaldarTFlagass

    In my field, we do a lot of mitigation, primarily of environmental contamination. Not quite sure how you mitigate an asshole.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      With money.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Listerine enema.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Yowser. I am now tingly.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          It's not as much fun as it sounds. Try Lavoris the first time around.

          • prommie

            Butts are already puckered, wouldn't that be dangerous?

    • emmelemm

      Butt plug?

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Bleach. Jesus, a lot of it.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        On both ends, or are they co-located?

    • prommie

      I thought only "gall" came in "unmitigated."

      • Jus_Wonderin

        WIN

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Didn't Julius Caesar mitigate all of Gall?

        • prommie

          Omnium gallium est divida en tri partes, my dad used to tell me, because they made him memorize Ceasars Commentaries when he was in cat'lic high school. Something like that shit.

          • jqheywood

            In my Latin class, it was "Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres."

            #YesImAPedant

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Unos! Dos! Tres! Catorce!

          • Negropolis

            Aqui en America, we speaka da Spanglish, buddy, and don't you forget it, hombre, O que?

            Latinish?! What a snob!

    • Guppy

      Lube.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        It facilitates the rectal cranial merge.

  • Sassomatic

    What a nice young man.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Asking someone to comment on findings that they're an unmitigated asshole is something I would expect from reporters covering the Romney campaign.

    • emmelemm

      Sounds a bit Joe Biden-ish to me.

      (Love ya, Joe!)

  • Trannysurprise

    I saw this episode of VEEP. It was pretty good but needed moar tits.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Brush your hair and put on lip gloss, everyone! The Wonkette comment section made national news!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      You think this is straight outta Compton? Cuz there's no skullfucking…

    • prommie

      Put your lipstick on and make your hair up pretty, come on and meet me tonight in Atlantic City!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Put on your high heel sneakers! Put your wig-hat on your head!

        • prommie

          Thats Fucking Romance! In New Jersey. Like when he sang (though Tom Waits wrote it):
          When i come by to take you out to eat
          You're lyin' all dressed up on the bed baby fast asleep
          Go in the bathroom and put your makeup on
          We're gonna take that little brat of yours and drop her off at your mom's
          I know a place where the dancing's free
          Now baby won't you come with me
          'cause down the shore everything's all right
          You and your baby on a saturday night
          Nothing matters in this whole wide world
          When you're in love with a jersey girl

          • jqheywood

            As the happy husband of a genuine Jersey Girl, I gotta agree with:
            Nothing matters in this whole wide world
            When you're in love with a jersey girl

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Nice avatar. Touring the Museum Of Ancient And Classical Tukhus?

        • prommie

          I am a Calypigian man, I suppose, as far as that great debate goes.

      • sullivanst

        Yes, yes! The Boss was awesome Friday night. Traffic sucked getting there though :|

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I always post in a tux. With no trousers. That's okay, right?

    • CindynEncinitas

      Link, please…

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        Err, not really… I was kidding. Let's just say that there have been some eh… tense exchanges between some of our fellow Wonkeratti. It may take a bottle of chianti and an early Sunday morning to go back far enough to find our festive and frolicking "fuck-off" fights.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          Have we mellowed?

          • KeepFnThatChicken

            <alternate1>That depends. Are we… black?

            <alternate2>Pshaw. Too close to the election to start flushing our radiators, man. We still have the debates and everything!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Everybody knows you don't read other people's diaries.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    So if your are only 95% dick, does that make you a mitigated asshole?

  • James Michael Curley

    Another international incident escalates beyond all hope and control due to the inability to place smiley face emoticons on a Blackberry.

  • RaflcaFlkaFlame

    Live fast, die young bad guys do it well

  • MissTaken

    This is my favoritist episode of My Little Pony EVAH!!!

    • SorosBot

      So wait, does Pinkie Pie have a "Fuck off" song?

      • MissTaken

        Yup, it's my ringtone when you call me

    • HELisforHEL

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIY41LrvMFQ

      I always love an opportunity to post this again.

  • Schmannnity

    This must be from that Huma Abedin infiltration. Everyone's on edge.

  • Terry

    Wikipedia says that Philippe Reines isn't just a press aide. He's the Deputy Assistant Secretary of State and a native of NYC, something we could have guessed given his choice of words.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And the fact that is name is Philippe Reines (OK, New Orleans might spawn one of those, too).

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    They missed, "You aren't the boss of me" and "you suck, dude".

    Not by much, though.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Because they skipped to "My dad can beat up your dad."

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    if this is what 'apologizing for america' looks like, i'd hate to be iran.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Only because none of our Farsi language experts know how to transcribe "Your face and beard look like vagina dentata" in emails to Ahmadinejad.

  • mrpuma2u

    You know who else an official investigation by the Department of the Defense as reported by The Army Times ,The Washington Post concluded beyond a doubt was an unmitigated asshole?

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Patton?

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Rumsfeld?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Colin Powell?

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      McCain? No, that was a "cunt".

      • sewollef

        There ya go again, cursing like a sailor.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_
    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      General MacArthur?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    also: can we turn this guy on little lord ryan while he's still pissed?

  • prommie

    Hastings starts right out being a giant-size douchebag deluxe with douchecream on top, so fuck him and good for this Reince Priebus guy or whatever, for telling him to go and fuck on off.

  • HempDogbane

    I would award them both 137p.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Though it is difficult to dance to.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        It's a syncopated p.

  • Mojopo

    Well of course I saw Andy's 360 Deflect-o-rama segment last night…

    I'm with Reines. In America we should be allowed to tell assholes to fuck off, as needed.

  • chicken_thief

    Reines wouldn't talk like that, even in messages, to Paul Ryan. Because P90X, motherfuckers!!!!

    Chuck Norris wouldn't even talk to Ryan like that. Because, well, in real life, Chuck is a pussy.

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    I’ll take that as a non-denial denial.

    That is a come on if ever there was one. I'll take that is our first clue

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Just think of the fun David Thorne could have with this guy. Actually, probably both guys!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      That site is truly LOL funny. I liked his Oprah interview, also too.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Somehow, I miss the tenderness of "Kiss my ass! This is a holy site!"

    • ElPinche

      hahaha

    • prommie

      Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the War Room!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    People obsessed with getting the last word make me sad.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      That's what you say.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I'd usually say "Yes, Dear". (In a tone and delivery that said neither Yes, nor Dear).

    • Guppy

      They make the internet go round.

    • HELisforHEL

      You've apparently met my mother and one of my managers here at the cube farm of depression that I'm indentured to.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors
  • TavariousChinaSmith

    Good day, sir! (And by "Good day, sir!" I mean that your mother should maybe take out her dentures next time she blows me.)

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I was wondering what happened to "yo mama is so fat …," but I see it's been upgraded. Or maybe that would be downgraded.

  • sullivanst

    So Michael Hastings position is that the State Department's number one priority should not have been concern for the families of the victims, respect for the dead, planning to recover from a serious loss, or searching for the perpetrators of the attack, but searching for personal items in the wreckage?

    I'm with Phillipe: Fuck you, Michael.

  • prommie

    I am restless today, searching for an avatar that is just right, just the right height, like the trees in Michigan. I am gonna let the Venus Calypigos stand in for a little while, thats something like what I am thinking of, its close.

    • FakaktaSouth

      That's a mighty white ass you got there, my dear. She seems to have forgotten her magic underpants.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Take her back to Wondaland! I think she left her underpants.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WahYFs708U&fe

        • TavariousChinaSmith

          Hallelujah!

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            This is your land! This is my land!

      • prommie

        She seems to have forgotten ALL of her underpants, under that white dress.

        • FakaktaSouth

          She must be some kind of floozy. White dresses are hard to find the right under-accessories for though, the poor thing.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Nice ass. From a holy place!

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      It's super small on my phone, but I keep seeing naked parts and I approve.

  • Antispandex

    Worst porno ever.

  • barto

    An exchange worthy of Jane Austen, I'd say!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Please, oh, please, can we give Jay Carney's job to Phillipe Reines?

    • Negropolis

      Best. Idea. Evah.

  • alzronnie

    This is news? You'd think that when someone did NOT tell a Buzzfeed hack to fuck off–that would be news.

  • CommieDad

    After reading the whole think on Buzzkills site, I gotta say, Fuck You Mr. Hastings. Next time we pull all American Government officials out of a country, we'll send you in with a sign around your neck that says, ['[REMOVED BY SITE ADMINS TO PREVENT RIOTING BY MUSLIM EXTREMISTS]]. That'll mitigate your ass.

  • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

    This is what diplomats call a "frank exchange of views."

    • Guppy

      Not to be confused with "frank exchange of bodily fluids."

      • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

        Or as I call it, "make up sex."

  • Limeylizzie

    OT But one ,oddly named ,McKay Coppins from Buzzfeed was particularly snippy to me on Twitter today. I was expressing my disgust at his constant ass-licking of Mitt and this is how it proceded.

    ‏@Limeylizzie
    Is @mckaycoppins trying to get the Press Sec gig for "President" Romney? I know he is also LDS but he is so biased as to be irrelevant now.
    Expand
    Reply Delete Favorite
    6h McKay Coppins ‏@mckaycoppins
    @Limeylizzie I will miss your thousands of breathless Obamabot tweets in my @ feed when you stop following me!
    Hide conversation
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    10:46 AM – 25 Sep 12 · Details

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Harrumph! That's sassy Mormonizin' there.

      • Limeylizzie

        I was stunned why he would even bother to respond and then to be so snippy, I must have hit a nerve.

    • Negropolis

      Nobody messes with our Lizzie. I tell you, if I tweeted, I'd give that idiot a proper what for. Why I never.

    • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

      This is why it was all downhill after Morse Code.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "I just stole your social security number and credit card information. Would you care to comment on the scandalous negligence of your security measures for tomorrow's edition of 'Fraudulent Times'?"

    • prommie

      True fact: The Federal Trade Commission regulary employs hackers to hack into online merchants' websites and steal customer credit card information, and then fines said merchants hundreds of thousands of dollars for being so outrageously negligent as to allow the Federal Trade Commission to hack into their systems. Let this be the one and only time I bore the Wonkette community by talking about the actual subject of what I seem to be doing for a living.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Oh snap, more things I learned while finger-punching the search box to get the name of the General Hopey fired!! Michael Hastings actually wrote the Rolling Stone article that got McChrystal fired! Subplots within subplots, man!!
    http://wonkette.com/416352/four-star-general-lara

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    This is some of that snappy Sorkin dialog, right?

  • docterry6973

    So long Reines, and thanks for playing. Any you'll enjoy playing the home version of 'Deputy Assistant Secretary of State'. Give him a hand, folks.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    It's like the first act of a Cary Grant/Katherine Hepburn romcom if Hepburn were a guy and you could use words like "fuck" in movies in the 1940s.

  • nowave

    Today, we are all Philippe Reines.

  • ttommyunger

    So, isn't the State Department supposed to practice, you know, diplomacy? I mean, shit, that sounds like an exchange I would be in the middle of.

  • Negropolis

    To be fair, Michael Hastings is a total dick who is also quite brilliant and necessary. On this issue, Hastings is back to being his dickish self, and it doesn't work. CNN should be ashmed of itself, and they wonder why their sorry, passive-aggressive asses are in last place.

    Let's just say that it doesn't surprise me that someone like Michael would end up at Buzzfeed. I saw him in some late-night interview, and he has this whole too-cool-for-school irreverent vibe which is great in small doses, but it's his whole schtick. While I think the media gives too much deference to authority, he's on the complete other end where he thinks its part of his job to be purposefully disagreeable and dickish with the people he writes about.

    Yeah, Michael, you're such a bad-ass. *eyeroll* I'm glad you got McChrystal, but you're still an unmitigated asshole.