There seems to be one and only one qualification for becoming a Prominent Black Conservative these days: accusing other black people of either being willing slaves, or accusing some Democrat of enslaving them. It is perhaps the easiest job in America, and has seen a drastic uptick in employment opportunities since Barack Obama became President.

There, America, is your stimulus.

The lady in question on this show is Deneen Borelli, who has helpfully written a book called Blacklash: Racial Puns That Are Right On. (Subtitle may be different, as we cannot be bothered to read past the first word.) Celebrating the Emancipation Proclamation, Borelli argues that sure, that’s great and all, but we are all back in an even worse form of slavery than being forcibly taken across an ocean, beaten, raped and systematically denied any form of freedom for hundreds of years.

Even the Fox News host asks if Borelli is going too far, to which Borelli responds, cogently, that higher energy prices are enslaving us because, um, they are high. This is like that terrible form of slavery in the antebellum South where they got to pretty much do whatever they wanted, and were completely free except that they had to pay a slightly higher energy bill each month for the air conditioning they didn’t have. A shameful period in our nation’s history.

The truly damaging part about this isn’t that it completely denigrates the actual legacy of slavery that involved more than a higher monthly utility bill or the vague fear the government might grab your guns. It’s that she’s implicitly encouraging every angry, overzealous conservative to become their own Nat Turner and rise up against a tyrannical government over goddamn coal regulations.

Slavery is terrible, and never any worse than when described by pandering, fame-hungry dumbs.

[Media Matters]

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  • BaldarTFlagass

    Aunt Tom?

    • Peckerwood_Pete

      That would be Auntie Tomasina…

    • mrpuma2u

      Illegitimate daughter of Herman Cain/Clarence Thomas?

    • Raskolnikova

      You Own the Internets with this one.. LMAO

    • NYNYNYjr

      Her husband's name is actually Tom. I learned this going to her website where there is a video of him talking to a Megyn Kelly clone on Fox. But Tom is not an 'Uncle Tom' because he is a white guy. He's sort of creepy.

      • Boojum

        Of course he is. Self-hating black woman says what?

  • Barbara_

    She should have written her book on beef jerky so that it could be purchased and then read with food stamps.

    • I would actually buy it then. Though I probably would not finish reading it.

    • sullivanst

      That would be an awesome medium, since after consuming it, you could dispose of it appropriately.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "we are all back in an even worse form of slavery than being forcibly taken across an ocean, beaten, raped and systematically denied any form of freedom for hundreds of years."

    But, but, but color TV/cellphone/refrigerator/air conditioner!!!

    • zumpie

      Not according to that goofy new show, Revolution

    • Bezoar

      And she left out being worked literally to death.

  • ttommyunger

    I've told many a stripper and hooker that what they do for money doesn't define them as a person; this individual, notsomuch.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Stripper (to Ttommy): "But I thought you like what a I do for a living…"

      • ttommyunger

        Self-image is usually in question; not my opinion. They know I love them and their work right along with the Librarian and Sunday School teacher.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          "along with the Librarian and Sunday School teacher"

          So, does getting them to wear costumes cost more? I have wondered.

          • ttommyunger

            All that stuff just gets in the way.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

    • Well, in fairness, she's neither hooker nor stripper but something with even worse self-image issues.

      • ttommyunger

        At least Clarence Thomas got a lifetime gig for his soul, this clueless twat has already worked herself out of a jerb.

        • Boojum

          Clarence is still paying. Two words: Ginny Thomas.

          • ttommyunger

            Him getting caught with a 17th Street Hooker, in 3….2……1……

  • Baconzgood

    I'm pretty sure that slavery has lost all form of it's intended definition to the FOX News crowd.

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      In addition to Hitler and the Holocaust.

  • freakishlywrong

    Get out. A self-loathing African American on Fux? Fuck, I think they grow them over there under a special hate lamp.

  • bumfug

    Too bad Fox & Friends are slaves to stupidity.

  • Schmannnity

    The real tragedy is that energy prices enslave whites.

  • JustPixelz

    "…higher energy prices are enslaving us…"
    The invisible hand holds that particular whip.

  • Her Roots are showing.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Geordi La Forge can see it too.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Borelli, huh? What the fuck do Italians know about slavery? Or the economy?

    • She needz moar Spartacus.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      But-ah I betcha she can-a make-a one-nice-a speecy-spicy meatball!

    • Negropolis

      What do the Italians know about slavery? Ask the Romans.

  • Goonemeritus

    Sometimes I feel Obama has a deep seated hatred of black people.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      What catch phrase can capture the nature of Godwin's Law in this phenomena?

  • AddHomonym

    Well, that certainly made sense.

  • The overseer's whip is the same as paying an additional ten cents a gallon for gasoline.

    The mind boggles.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Anti-Big Coal wants to put y'all back in chains!

    • bikerlaureate

      It's genocide, I tells ya! Genocide!

  • sudsmckenzie

    No wonder I sing plantation work songs all the live long day.

  • TRAFFIC LIGHT SLAVERY LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • It's too bad she's in exile in Babylon now, and the days of freedom in Jerusalem/California when energy bills were $5,000 a month under the benevolent whip of Enron are just a memory.

  • Deneen Borelli

    I'd like to slap a collar around that neck…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      A pearl necklace would look good there, too.

  • x111e7thst

    Next on Fox: how marriage equality + Obama Care>=Hitler

    • Boojum

      That was last week. Keep up!

  • mavenmaven

    Here, this woman of apparent African American heritage on this youtube video is due for a job on Fox News, especially as they spend a lot of time suggesting that people who disagree with them should not vote on Nov 14. In fact, give her Michael Steele's old job!

  • ph7

    Glad to see Fox & Friends reaching out to its black viewership.

    • Radiotherapy

      That's a very small number and attests to the fact that 98% of blacks can see through this charade.

    • With its dick.

      Metaphorically, of course…

    • HogeyeGrex

      Both of them, Katie?

    • Boojum

      Reaching out or reaching around? We report, you decide!

  • gullywompr

    One day we will have a white president again, and all the blacks will be freed.

  • Ruhe

    So slavery wasn't so bad because the Master (Government) provided for everything the slaves (sheeple) needed and therefore no one had to worry about the cost of energy or other free-market consequences? Is she trying to blame Obama for high energy costs or making a very crypto-tricky argument for socialism?

  • LibertyLover

    I'll bet she has a refrigerator and a microwave and is therefore not as enslaved as she thinks she is. (Republican talking point from mid-year 2011.)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OK, sugar and tobacco from America to Europe, textiles and rum from Europe to Africa, and slaves back to America. Where do the higher energy prices fit in again, in this slave trade triangle?

    • shelwood46

      The cost of galley slaves? (Zero. They cost zero.)

  • FakaktaSouth

    I don't know, I am taking it as a positive that things are just so great for this lady that she has no problem absolutely destroying all credibility she has in the "uses words" category, even though this seems to be how she "makes a living." No slave to making sense is she!

  • Schmannnity

    Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows but Chevron.

  • SexySmurf

    So that's why Libtards hate coal and oil so much. Stop oppressing black fuels!

    • DahBoner

      Maybe that's why I want an electric car, because Electricity is White ( even tho most is made by BLACK coal…)

      • ThundercatHo

        You're right, electricity (lightning) is white! I never thought of it that way. But, if you leave coal in the ground for a while longer it becomes diamonds which are also white. Also, too when oil is refined into gasoline it is no longer black so that's good. Now, I'm pretty sure that natural gas is clear so that counts as white as well as CO2 so we're all good here.

        • Boojum

          But suspended particulates? Black. Sulfur? Definitely Asian.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Slavery is terrible, and never any worse than when described by pandering, fame-hungry dumbs."

    The fame-hungry dumbs are what give me affirmation that I am really human. Short of going full-on postal, I can't be as sad as this type. Think: Joe Sarah.

  • Radiotherapy

    She's right on one thing, it's all part of Obama's War on Coal.

  • Nobody knows the clean energy subsidies I've seen,
    Nobody knows the mountaintop-clearing runoff pollution restrictions —
    Nobody knows the proposed fracking wastewater aquifer protections I've seen,
    Nobody knooooooooows but Jesus.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Swing low, sweet chariot. No, lower. Lower. There. Pop this fool.

  • LastGasp

    Blacklash? Wasn't that the sequel to Blacula?

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I was just thinking that what this book needs are some sexy black vampires!

    • RedneckMuslin

      No, it was the porno version.

      • Boojum

        Starring Kitty With A Whip?

  • Ruhe

    High energy costs = slavery. A benighted analogy under which all whites get to be black.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Wait, we're slave-holders, now? I thought we were Nazis, or was that Communists?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I know. It's like whoever is calling the plays doesn't normally do this as their regular job.

    • ThundercatHo

      Soshalist muslin freedom hating traitors, libtards, morans and obamabots.

  • They allow colored people at Fox and Friends?

    • LastGasp

      Yep, as long as they enter and exit via the back door. Of course there's also the "separate but equal" lunchroom and "coloreds only" water fountains.

    • Peckerwood_Pete

      No, it's just Gretchen Carlson in black face…


    • zumpie

      Well once a month on Negro Day!

      • emmelemm

        Otherwise known as "only in February".

  • fartknocker

    That damn bastard Lincoln. He freed black slaves and look what happened: Obama! My history book states Abe was a Republican. Today, he's a RINO.

  • UnholyMoses

    Well, in her defense, when those coal miners come up to the surface after a long day digging coal, they do look quite blah …

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Wait a minute. Those people get to go to school!!!

  • Oblios_Cap

    So slaves are the 53% of us that pay taxes?

  • Baconzgood

    Sometimes it's hard to decide which cunt to cunt kick in the cunt first.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Ya know, maybe "clinging to guns and religion" was a poor choice of words, but let me be the first to say some of these folks are "clinging too tightly to their fuckin' stoopid".

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Elegantly stated, my friend.

  • You load sixteen tons, and whaddya get?
    Another day older and deeper in derp.
    Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
    I owe my soul to the company store

    I'm sure the nice black lady meant this, not the way you libruls are interpreting it.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "A soul is a terrible thing to waste"

      Sponsored by…………………………

    • eggsacklywright

      "Self-pity is a terrible thing to waste."

    • Boojum

      She was born one morning when the sun didn't shine
      Her mother wasn't there, she was out at the time
      The doctor took a look and he said "Oh my!
      I wonder if she's going to walk or fly?"

      Apologies to Homer and Jethro.

  • grace_nearing

    Deneen's no Star Parker, the all-time conservative Mammie over at Townhall. Parker's also the author of such scholarly tomes as "Pimps, Whores, and Welfare Brats" and "Uncle Sam's Plantation." She has her algorithm-generated plantation metaphor machine.

  • LibertyLover

    I guess her book is required reading for 10th-grade homeschoolers as an addendum to World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective.

  • zumpie

    I haz big confuse! I thought paying taxes was slavery and every time I do so I become less free. With, BTW, no further explanation than, "of course it does".

  • Do most of Faux Newz guests live on an upper floor in hospitals where the call button for the elevator is in a secured admin area and stairway access is locked?

  • Baconzgood

    Soooooooooo, wind and renewable energy will free us? Not straying from the FOX news narrative aren't cha?

  • MacRaith

    Could be a big con on her part – she says ridiculous things, and conservatives throw money at her. I mean, she's not really making any of them any dumber or more delusional than they were before, because they've already maxed out those qualities. She's just found a way to exploit them.

  • SorosBot

    Yeah, the government entitlements that help people and make their lives better and more free are just like slavery; in backwards-land maybe. What the fuck?

    • Boojum

      Freedom's just another word for "poor as dirt, dying of starvation, and willing to suck the dirt off a rich man's balls for a roof over your head."

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh no. Now I have "Cause I'm a ho, you know I'm a ho" from the 1986 smash hit artists "Whodini" stuck in my head. I am sure you wouldn't know what I am talking about, but it makes me hate this woman a little extra, trust me.

    • ttommyunger

      I love Ho's, especially young blonde shapely ones from the Souf'.

    • ChuckieJesus

      "Some say it's an art, some say it's a shame…"

  • a_pink_poodle

    It's rather funny that they're so eager to redistribute the debt but never the wealth.

  • BartStarrland

    The advent of air conditioning belatedly made the South a commercially viable region. Which makes air confditioning history's greatest curse.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      OT, sorta: I am a slave to the four hour scheduling window for the A/C repairman to come fix my noncooling A/C. In Dallas. Someone come back and check on me once in awhile, please. I might have a stro………………………..

  • TootsStansbury

    Are Tuesdays face palm day on our wonkette?

  • Blunderthing

    Wait. Isn't Slavery freedom?

    • They report, you decide.

    • eggsacklywright

      Now you're cookin'.

  • SorosBot

    By the way, how exactly is the government supposed to be responsible for the higher energy prices that are caused by the energy companies?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Don't try to get all logical on us Mr. Spock.

    • Especially when we give them buttloads of tax monies because we love freedom so much.

    • SpeedoFart

      Uh, SOSHALIZM?

    • bikerlaureate

      Regulation. Duh.
      It makes everything worse, always, and never does anything good.
      (Unless we're talking about uteri)

    • Boojum

      Because of Derp.

  • where DO they find these people?

    • LibertyLover


    • Negropolis

      These people? Oh no you didn't!

  • DahBoner

    one qualification

    But wouldn't 'Stepin and Fetchit' technically be two?

    • eggsacklywright

      Right. Multitasking.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Wait! So, the Emancipation Proclamation was Obama's doing?

    • As was everything else NeoConfederates don't like that has happened over the last 175 years or so. Time machine and all that, don'tcha know.

  • MiniMencken

    Lawrence Weschler tells a story about attending the trial of Slobodan Milosevic in the Hague. He takes a seat next to a Serbian nationalist who explains that the entire history of Serbia can be understood if you realize that it's annihilation has been the long-term object of the Germans and the Jews. Weschler asks, "How do you explain the Holocaust?" The Serb replies "It does make you wonder, doesn't it?" Some people just weren't in class the day they taught critical thinking skills.

    • Boojum

      Or the day that they chelated for lead poisoning.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    When you're attractive and on the cover of your own political book, you're clamoring for attention.

  • RRoccoco

    Since high gas prices and energy costs are due to markets and speculation, not taxes, that would indicate the true correlative to the slave holder is the capitalist, not the government. Since taxes and regulations (ought to) restrain capitalist excesses, that would indicate the contemporary abolitionists are Democrats with guts and the public interest in their policies, not Fox News Corp. Since a black conservative commentator on a privately owned propaganda network favors capitalism and opposes government, that would indicate the correlative to the house slave is in fact Deneen Borelli. An uncomfortable truth, to be sure, but if you make your chains, you live in them.

    • Boojum

      I don' know nothin' 'bout no capilisms, Ms. Scahlet!

  • Sophist[Kochblocker]

    Blacklash? Is that the black people version of 50 Shades of Grey?

    (Also, when the Fox bleach-blond bobblehead trying to pitch you softball questions disguised as criticism is winning the argument, you really suck.)

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Screeching pundit stylebook:

    Every policy you don't like = slavery*
    Every person you disagree with = fascist
    Every opposition leader = Hitler

    Did I miss anything?

    (*or holocaust, your choice)

    • Jus_Wonderin

      And yet, Sarah would still have to write those on her palm.

  • BartStarrland

    Orignal subtitle : "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a HAHAHAHAHAHA.. …'Think' – like I can do that"

  • LibertyLover

    Well, there were people of color that fought against the North in the "War of Northern Aggression" too…

    • SorosBot

      Which is actually not true, but a myth that confederate traitor apologists keep spreading so much that most people believe it now.

  • hagajim

    Jeebus….entitlement society afuckinggain! I tell you what biatch, I'm entitled to not have to listen to your stupid ass!

  • En_Buenora

    I disagree with Milli Vanilli's comments.

  • freakishlywrong

    The right wing IS the dirty diaper. Keep crappin' those panties, derps.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Fox and Friends is just jealous because some states let you gay marry your slave.

  • I know one of the reasons I've always supported the Democratic party is to justify the slaves I keep locked up in my basement.

  • And so another joins the rank ranks of willing human lawn jockeys, willing to do massa's bidding, gleefully taking massa's abuse so long as the check clears. See Williams, Juan; Herman "Uzbecki-becki-stan-stan" Cain; Davis, Artur, etc.

    One of the best things about the coming implosion of the NeoConfederates is that these stellar examples of humanity will reap the true rewards of what they have sown. On a sane planet, they'd be fired.

    Out of a cannon.

    Into the SUN.

  • lotusflwr

    Jesse is really on a roll lately! Nice.

  • We need a corollary to Godwin's Law. In any wingnut discussion of the economy, taxes, or the social safety net, someone will make a dumb, illogical analogy to slavery.

    Let's call it the Firefly Corollary. Of course, it's a working title…

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Sounds like a good name for a screenplay.

  • Chichikovovich

    Some good news that everybody's missing. As the economy gets better, there's greater demand for gas/oil/electricity, so the prices go up. That's why, as the economy was looking like it was heading into a big revival about 5 months ago, and gas prices started going up, that's all you heard Republicans talking about – how high gas prices were a strain on America's Hard Working Families™ and it was all the president's fault.

    Then the economy sputtered a bit, gas prices went down, and never got mentioned again. And of course it would be preposterous to suggest that the President was responsible for the prices going down.

    So if Republican talking point central is telling people to start talking about energy prices again, I have to think that they think no bad economic news is on the horizon.

  • James Michael Curley

    "Memo from Nat Turner" is Allen West's favorite.

  • Nostrildamus

    Try to picture your world view if the only black people you saw were the ones on Fox News.

    • Boojum

      I'm seeing the inside of a gun barrel. Is that right?

  • NorthStarSpanx

    We had our own Auntie Thomasina in the Alaska State Legislature for years. Ironically, she was an Alaska Native (Athabascan) serving Wasilla. How was this possible? She was a lush married to a redneck musher. They controlled her actions on the floor. This columnist wasn't fooled.


    Beverly Masek got elected and re-elected here in Mat-Su because, like Sarah Palin, she possessed commercial good looks and said all the “right” things. Unlike Palin, Masek possessed a flat personality—her tales of woe at her sentencing hearing were probably mostly true. She was obviously being manipulated by others.

    The main point is that folks here in the Valley will elect almost anybody who spouts the right wing, conservative party-line. Masek fought against rural subsistence to the detriment of her own Native people—but she played her conservative cards well enough to keep getting elected here.

    Remember that little strip-tease she did on the Legislative floor—removing her outer clothes to reveal the Indian costume underneath? In my opinion she should have reversed costumes.

  • Kuntas_Girl

    I Kuntas_Girl, an authentic African American, hereby reject and denounce Deneen Borelli's affiliation as an African American. I suggest she contact that other Girl on FOX to come up with a new race identity.

    • Boojum

      How about she join Romney's newly founded race/model.

  • zumpie

    The Evil Kenyan Muslin Usurper is lecturing at the Clinton Global Initiative all about how human trafficking is modern day slavery. He really needs to get with it and realize that forced child prostitution/rape pales in comparison with the utter tragic horror of a high electric or heating bill.

  • chascates

    Bitch, please.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Needs more "Mandingo."

  • Redgyal

    I hope whatever she gets from this is worth it. No I don't.

  • GregComlish

    Coming up Next: Is Michelle Obama a "race traitor" for taking away fried chicken from school cafeteria's serving our nation's black children?

  • punkneverdies

    You know if you're going to extend the concept of slavery this far how come it only applies to socialism and government employment and not banks and credit cards?

  • mayor_quimby

    This is what is known as House Negro behavior – I got my place in the Masters big house, fuck the rest of you that still have to pick cotton.
    And no, I would not hit that. There is no worse lay than an uptight conservative Black lady.

  • ShuCityRefugee

    That Obama guy she's telling me about sure seems to have super-powers. He seems to have "created" 100 years of social and political history single-handedly.

  • carlgt1

    I always laugh at the inherent racism of the idiotic "Dems make slaves out of the blacks" BS because blacks vote 90%+ for Dems — but nobody ever says "Dems make slaves out of the Jews" who similarly have high voting percentages for Dems/liberals!

    • MadBrahms

      I blame "Driving Miss Daisy"

  • MadBrahms

    Coal regulations? Seriously, this is tyranny?

    Slightly OT: For a good time, check the news out of India right now – the ruling government is actually collapsing in on itself because of a scandal involving shady deals granting coal rights to private enterprises. It's dominated every channel and paper over the last month and is a complete political catastrophe; people are just straight up rioting in some places over it. Coal! But no one has compared it to slavery yet. Probably compared it to Hitler, though. India is all about Hitler for some reason.

  • Negropolis

    Borelli, eh? Can't say I'm surprised, and I'll leave it at that.

  • AznMom420

    Obama needs to do what he promised for us Blahs and bomb the OPEC nations into irrelevance so gas prices aren't so goddamn high. I know he can do it he just won't unless we all call him MASSA now.

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