mitt romney's deep thoughts

Science Genius Mitt Romney Thinks Airplane Windows Should Open

But does he talk jive?Did you happen to hear that in the midst of yet another very bad day for Miffed Romney, Egg Romney’s plane had to make an emergency landing? We are not saying they faked it or that it was suspicious at all, we’re just saying we saw Bob Roberts. We for one are very, very happy that Egg Romney is all right, and anybody musing otherwise in the comments will be murdered (from commenting). You know the Rules! Anyhoo, we note this because Miffed Romney was in Los Angeles, hoovering up a little more Koch money or something, when he had the kind of Deep Thought that should make grumpy loser Herman Cain shut up once and for all. Ladies and gentlemen, Miffed Romney is a Man of Ideas!

Romney’s wife, Ann, was in attendance, and the candidate spoke of the concern he had for her when her plane had to make an emergency landing Friday en route to Santa Monica because of an electrical malfunction.

“I appreciate the fact that she is on the ground, safe and sound. And I don’t think she knows just how worried some of us were,” Romney said. “When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous. And she was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and copilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she’s safe and sound.”

We would like to note for just a second that oxygen feeds fire, and maybe if the window had opened Egg Romney’s plane would have asploded! Whatever, we are not a scientist. Maybe the plane wouldn’t have asploded, and all planes should come with windows that open. What on earth could go wrong?

[LAT]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • Boojum

    Yes, because the fresh air at 30,000 feet is so fresh!

    Of course, there is that whole "pressurized" issue.

    • Terry

      Send Mitt up in a plane with windows that open and let him do a bit of experimentation.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        Be careful. This could result in a banhammer of Payne-Stewart-dandy proportions

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        You mean with votes, right?

        • Terry

          I actually wasn't suggesting any harm. Don't go to high altitude. Just a little demo of why that idea is really bad.

          • Caelan Aegana

            Hey, we aren't suggesting that he won't be provided with those little yellow masks. Whether he complies to those socialist safety instructions is really up to him.

      • LibertyLover

        Send Mitt up with a plane with Nitrous Oxide. It'll be a gas!

    • pdiddycornchips

      I once saw one of those old Airplane movies starring Charlton Heston. One of the passengers tried to open the door and a pretty stewardess was sucked right out and I don't mean that in a good way. Now, I'm not sure if Airplane movies made by Hollywood liberals are scientifically accurate but I believe they are right about this one,

      • Chichikovovich

        Except for the part about "being able to open the door given that pressure imbalance". Otherwise as accurate as a documentary.

      • Isyaignert

        That happened for real on a Hawaiian Airlines flight decades ago. The roof cracked open and the pretty stewardess was sucked right out and not in a good way. I think they lost a couple of unbelted customers, also, too. Let that be a lesson.

        • comrad_darkness

          Didn't a passenger have to hold onto the other stewardess to keep her from getting sucked out?

          At least that's what he said he was doing…

    • JohnnyQuick

      The pressure can be fixed by shoving a dog in the open window. They love sticking their tongues out! Oh, and the beautiful clouds they'll get to see!

    • Mojopo

      With my luck, the jerk in front of me would leave his window open the entire time.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Then he'd try to flick a cig butt out but it would do that thing where it flies back in at the passenger behind him. What a jerk.

    • IndianaKevin

      Pressurized Americans libel!

    • http://radiomankc.blogspot.com/ radiomankc

      Maybe Mitt didn't spend enough time learning about AMERICAN LIFE and physics on this planet, and spent too much time learning how to bankrupt corporations and fire employees FOR PROFIT!

      He's starting to remind me of Sarah Palin, who didn't even understand bankruptcy laws. She only knew how to read copy on the TV TeleprompTer! I'm starting to think that all the good Republicans have left town. They sure didn't show up for the primaries!

  • nounverb911

    I thought they demonstrated how to open an airplane window at the end of "Goldfinger"?

    • GhostBuggy

      You mean the part where Gert Frobe is depressurized right out that window, with votes.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Wasn't it Odd Job? Been a while since I saw that movie.

        • GhostBuggy

          No, I believe Odd Job was electrocuted to death in Fort Knox.

    • BarackMyWorld

      More proof Maddow reads this blog.

  • Barbara_

    I'm no princess, but I don't want to see clouds inside the plane. Keep the windows shut, please.

    • memzilla

      The Founding Fathers lurved clouds. Why do you hate America, Barb?

      • Barbara_

        I'm just bitter that we can't smoke on planes anymore and have steak served to us with steak knives and big tumblers of alcohol served in real glassware. I'm also pissed that the TSA twat waffles get to scream at us while we are in line. You can't scream back or they will make your life a living hell.

        • SorosBot

          "steak served to us with steak knives and big tumblers of alcohol served in real glassware"

          What? Did this once happen? All I've known are shitty sandwiches for $10, and a can of bud for about $7 or $8. Oh and a free tiny shot glass of coke or water.

          • Barbara_

            Soros, I am old enough to tell you about how I used to wear cocktail onions tied to my belt when I flew.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            The entire upper decks of 747s were reserved for First Class disco orgies. Haven't you seen the notorious '70s film, "Robert Guccione's Pan Am"?

          • sullivanst

            Doesn't that still happen in first class?

          • Liberalatchi

            Yes it does. Blew me away about five years go we are flying in business/first class cross country and they serve us a lovely dinner with metal utensils. Just blew me away flying out of Boston to Seattle non stop. And yet I can't take along my shampoo in anything bigger than a crappy once bottle. Go figure.

          • bobbert

            Three words. International First / Business Class. Well, okay, four words.

            Edit: and except for the smoking. (I forgot that, because I don't miss it).

          • pepperpat

            It did indeed. Airlines offered real 3-course meals (often with a choice of entree) on ceramic plates with metal silverware and glass, uh, glassware. I also remember being able to take non-stop flights just about anyplace. I was a kid in Miami, Florida, at the time, and we often flew non-stop to New York and Hartford to visit relatives. Once we flew straight from Miami to L.A.

            It all seems like a dream now.

          • Barbara_

            PepperPat , I really do miss that. I used to order kosher food just because I could, lol.

          • GeorgiaBurning

            Oh, yeah. I remember PanAm business class across the Atlantic.

        • Callyson

          Hell, I'd settle for the big tumblers of alcohol at this point. Flying sucks.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            From the moment you step foot in the airport, you are in Federal Custody.

        • mayor_quimby

          Fuck yes, I have Eastern Airlanes that my parents boosted to this day. I remember seeing the upper deck on a 747 when I was about 6 and thinking "yes, this is what awaits me when I grow up". Then the 80s came.
          I want my future back!

    • sewollef

      My little girl [at age two and a half] had the answer to why airplane windows don't open.

      On her first flight in her own seat, she explained to me the reason was, "to keep the bees out".

      Now tell me, have you ever seen a bee in a plane? No, of course not. So my 2-year-old was absolutely right. She's gonna be a genius that kid, I tell ya.

      • LouBristol

        She already is.

      • TootsStansbury

        That is so stinking cute!

      • SnarkOff

        I thought the snakes kept the bees out.

      • pepperpat

        That makes a lot more sense than what Romney said. LOL.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Omg, that's adorable.

        • sewollef

          Yes she was then, and is a wise-cracking 12-year-old now with a pin-sharp intellect more than a match for Romney and his ilk.

          Moreover, she's trilingual French [with English and Spanish], since she lives with her mother in the south of France.

          In fact, she's a show-off. Damn kids of today!

    • deelzebub

      Lumpy Space Princess libel!

  • nounverb911

    Egg should have ridden Rafalca to Santa Monica.

    • Sophist[Kochblocker]

      Horse fires are even scarier.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Just ask the prophet Elijah!

    • kittensdontlie

      Or taken a private jet. Just imagine, she had to ride first class…oh the humanity!

  • freakishlywrong

    Can't. Tell. If. Serious. (He can't be serious).

    • bikerlaureate

      Keep him talking, either way.

      Please oh please keep him talking.

    • Sparky McGruff

      He. Is. Serious.

      Also, last December, he said in an interview with the right-wing rag that pretends to be a newspaper (the Washington Examiner), and I quote:

      "I do believe in basic science. I believe in participating in space. I believe in analysis of new sources of energy. I believe in laboratories, looking at ways to conduct electricity with — with cold fusion, if we can come up with it. It was the University of Utah that solved that. We somehow can’t figure out how to duplicate it."

      Scientificamous Geneious, he is.

  • fartknocker

    Someone must have missed the days at the elementary school when the firefighters explained the Fire Triangle. Mitt should just Stop, Drop and Roll.

    • no_gravity

      And the corollary – Duck and Cover.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I love the oldie but goodie, in case of a nuclear blast, let's all get down under our desks.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Terrorist attack: something, something duct tape.

    • Guppy

      In Mitt's school, the firefighters explained that structure fires were God's punishment, because birth control.

    • rmjagg

      " Mitt should just Stop, Drop and Roll." … yep , right out the window .- at 30,000 feet

  • no_gravity

    Science is for pussies.

    • WIDTAP

      Bill Nye libel!

  • Indiepalin

    Day one of the Romney administration: Executive order mandating open window option on passenger jets and military aircraft. No more gov't intrusion.

  • memzilla

    Right up there with screen doors on submarines, Mitt.

    • eggsacklywright

      My snark tank, she is empty.

      • IndianaKevin

        They have a spray now that makes screen doors on submarines safe. At least it worked on the rowboat on TV.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      And there we have it, folks.

  • SorosBot

    Yeah, and why don't they have screen doors on submarines too?

    • SnarkOff

      You owe Memzilla a Coke.

    • calliecallie

      Great minds think alike!

  • KathrynSane

    I have a better idea. Let's require all airlines to distribute knock-out doses of Xanax and booze to all passengers upon boarding.

    It's the only way to fly.

    • SnarkOff

      They could start serving it in the security line.

    • SorosBot

      At the very least, we should have mandatory tranquilizing for all children on the plane.

    • prommie

      I just administer those things to myself whenever I fly.

    • mrpuma2u

      i wanna fly on that airline!

    • CindynEncinitas

      May I recommend *medicinal* pot brownies?

  • freakishlywrong

    That pic of Egg and Miffed is the best one I've seen. So…real.

    • bobbert

      Miffed does look unusually animated, doesn't he?

  • ttommyunger

    I'll bet this has Bill Nye shaking in his loafers for fear of his jerb.

    • sullivanst

      Mitt Romney's Amercia has no room for Science Guys, plus Mitt likes firing people, so yeah, Bill Nye should be worried.

      • ttommyunger

        Science; who can explain it?

        • no_gravity

          Bill O'Reilly.

          • ttommyunger

            But of course!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

        • SorosBot

          The Insane Clown Posse?

          • ttommyunger

            They have been giving it their best shot.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

        • chicken_thief

          Neil Tyson?

          • ttommyunger

            That is one smart blah!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      at first i read 'bill nighy' and well, nothing. i just love that guy.

      • ttommyunger

        He is on fb you know.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

      • eggsacklywright

        He is one of the good ones. Big fan.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Oh yes, he's one of my favorites.

    • djneedlz

      He died. No, wait — that's Bill Nighy. I read it on Onionbook. I am destroyed.

      • ttommyunger

        Shit! What would I know, I'm so far out of the loop I can't even see the dust of the other runners.

      • viennawoods13

        What??? I've googled him and found nothing to that effect.

  • Schmannnity

    Those windows are just the right size to be sucked out of.

    • chicken_thief

      And the clouds you'd fall through are so beautiful and the trees you'd fall on – just. the. right. height.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I would like to invite the entire Romney clan to take a ride in my new, convertible jet. Seat belts not availabe because they are stupid and for losers.

    • sullivanst

      "UnSafe at any speed", of course ;)

    • Terry

      Seat belts are just another one of those government intrusions on our lives. Job creators are afraid to create jobs because of regulations like this.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Seat belts take jobs away from brain surgeons and undertakers.

  • SorosBot

    By the way, exactly how do the MBA class get away with claiming that business executives are somehow smarter than actual scientists?

    • PubOption

      It's all to do with derivatives, ds/dt is always v, (simple) , whereas d$/dt can mean anything to anybody (much more complicated).

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Thanks for clearing that up.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Not that 99 percent of the MBAs actually have a clue what you just said, beyond it somehow equaling money when their pet nerds hit on a good one.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Because money, duh.

    • sullivanst

      Sadly, with an assist from Paul Krugman. I wonder if he still believes that part of his seminal 1996 article, "A Country Is Not A Company", in light of events in the years since he wrote it.

    • MozakiBlocks

      Because MBA stands for "Magnificent Bullshit Artist".

  • sullivanst

    Well, we always thought that maybe Mitt Romney wasn't that bright. Thanks for confirming it, Mitt. Fucking moron.

  • SnarkOff

    Just put Ann in a cage and strap it to the top of the plane. Plenty of air up there.

    • rmjagg

      as if he hasn't done that as foreplay

    • Geminisunmars

      There is an extra charge for defecating up there. These airlines, always squeezing the last little bit out of our wallets.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Perfect.

  • LesBontemps

    "I don’t think she knows just how worried some of us were,” Romney said.

    There's 47% of us you could probably write off.

    • kittensdontlie

      The real tragedy here was that at least 47% wished she wasn't on their flight to begin with.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Mittens believes that planes fly because of Angels. None of that internal combustion shit or wings or fluid dynamics.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    George Carlin: "The gate attendant told me it was time to get on the plane. I said, hey lady, I am not getting ON the plane, I am getting IN the plane, thank you very much".

    • FakaktaSouth

      My favorite from My Name is Earl – ticket lady – "do you want a window seat or an aisle seat?" Randy – "I want a chair seat."

      • IndianaKevin

        I wanna be like Randy when I grow up.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          I love Randy.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I wish I could remember the name of the San Francisco comedian who said "They give me a seat cushion that can be 'Used for Flotation.' I want a seat cushion that will bounce in a cornfield."

  • CrunchyKnee

    And you can always strap Seamus to the roof of the aerogyro.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    No snark, Johnny Zhivago was on a plane that had an engine fire on the run way once and had to be evacuated. Opening the windows was the last thing on my mind – it was sort of get to the door and off the fucking plane.

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    Apparently Willard has never seen any of the billion action movies from the 70s or 80s that takes place on a plane…. and inevitably, the door or a window pops open, and motherfuckers start getting sucked out of the plane. How out of touch is this man!!

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Except that one from a few years ago, which made Romney a big fan of Samuel L. Jackson. In fact Mittens can't wait to experience his own aircraft crisis *just* so he can stamp around and shout "I'VE HAD IT WITH THE MOTHERFUCKIN BRAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN PLANE!"

    • calliecallie

      Air Force One with Harrison Ford, also.

    • MissTaken

      This is why I always leave my seatbelt on when seated. Always.
      http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3347262#.UGCEv

      • Jus_Wonderin

        "Unharmed, Fogg got back on a plane the next day."

        I would have atleast had to change my trousers.

      • SorosBot

        And now I just hope I forget this before my next flight.

        • MissTaken

          Leave your seatbelt on, honey.

          • SorosBot

            Oh I will; but it sounds like this guy was also helped by being over 200 pounds, I'm a lot lighter than that and might still get sucked out by being too skinny.

          • sullivanst

            Remember, force = pressure x area.

            Skinnier person = less force. Also, if you fill less of the window frame, the cabin will depressurize quicker, reducing the amount of time you have to withstand the force.

          • Peckerwood_Pete

            so, in other words, Chris Christie would get sucked out of a plane like a Hoover on steroids?

          • sullivanst

            I suspect he'd bung the hole up pretty good and be stuck there 'til landing.

      • Zepster
  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    I'm looking forward to the Mythbusters episode with Mitt's gelmet aboard.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Romney lifts us up where we belooooong
    Where the air is thin!
    And the fire's don't burn!

    Sorry I couldn't think of anything that rhymed well on short notice.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    "Excuse me stewardess, I thought this was a non-smoking flight!" Thanks folks! I'll be here all week!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I am not particularly afraid of flying….until I remind myself of all the horrible things that could happen.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    If the TSA allowed Patriots to carry weapons on a plane you could at least shoot the windows out.

    • CivicHoliday

      They really should rename them "Conceal and bury" laws

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Rombots don't need oxygen.

  • Wadisay

    the candidate spoke of the concern he had for her when her plane had to make an emergency landing…

    Did I pay her life insurance premium this quarter…?

  • Misty Malarky

    Let the Eagle Soar.

  • ChrisM2011

    Open windows- It's in the Constitution, people. Stop being communists!

  • el_donaldo

    Well, sure, they can make those windows open, but then they probably have to put screens in, because, you know, geese. Makes about as much sense as them still telling us that we can't use electrical devices during take off.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      And Venetian blinds, because the sun is pretty intense at 30,000 feet.

  • le petit mort

    Egg? Air? Really?

  • Goonemeritus

    That’s some out of the box thinking right there! Imagine how sweet that would be for people that fly with their dogs, they love sticking their heads out of the windows of moving vehicles.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Jack-off of all trades, master of none.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I hope, come November I won't have to hear from this assgaffe again.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Ole Newt keeps coming back from the dead.

      [And that is Comment # 5,000.]

  • bflrtsplk

    All windows open all the time save on air conditioning in government planes. Hmmm. mark that down for next budget meeting.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I missed the post where we started calling Ann "Egg". Someone want to enlighten me?

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Me too.
      When I hear someone nicknamed "Egg," all I can think of is the littlest brother in Irving's "Hotel New Hampshire", played by a wee Seth Greene. Which character it so happens met his fate on a malfunctioning plane.

      • emmelemm

        That's exactly what I think of too.

    • eggsacklywright

      Google Arrested Development egg.

    • docterry6973

      I thought that all her old school chums call her Egg, but then again none of her old school chums would be caught dead reading Wonkette.

    • thebeatgoeson

      I've been trying to figure that out for days. I searched Wonkette for "Egg Romney" but even the first post that shows up doesn't clarify.

  • no_gravity

    Mittz is now getting into Michele Bachmann territory of there's no scientific evidence that CO2 is harmful.

  • SwanSwanH

    Mittens believes ALL KINDS OF THINGS. (cf., The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ)

  • nonbeliever7

    I guessing that on November 6th we'll find out that "Mitt Romney" is really one of Andy Kaufmann's elaborate false identity jokes.

    • BadKitty904

      GOP = Grand (tho) Obvious Parody

  • Wilcoxyz

    If Egg had only listened to that exciting pre-flight safety demonstration about the oxygen masks. Probably reading SkyMall and laughing at the brands the poors buy at airports.

    • kittensdontlie

      Someone told me, that oxygen masks only deploy with low cabin pressure, and will not with smoke due to possibility of feeding flames with more oxygen. I guess the poors got the last laugh here….

  • Beowoof

    You know based upon this statement I would have thought Mitt was home schooled in Louisiana. This doesn't speak well of Cranbrook, Stanford or Harvard. I guess it is possible to just buy a degree.

    • sullivanst

      You didn't notice this when #43 was showing what value was to be found in his Yale and Harvard Business degrees?

      • Beowoof

        Actually I did notice that a moron like W graduated from two prestigious universities and thought much less of both schools. I remember my old accounting professor, and Harvard man, who in discussing Harvard with him said that many of the privileged elites can get through if they sit in the back and don't make too much trouble. The would get the gentlemen's C. As W was a C student, I deduced he must have been granted a gentlemen's C on the way to the White-house.

        • sullivanst

          Funny how the biggest beneficiaries of the affirmative action of legacy admissions are often the most vocal opponents of affirmative action, isn't it?

  • Slim_Pickins

    "Fires think that they are entitled to oxygen. I'll do something about that when I'm President" Lurch said.

  • noodlesalad

    Well, 78% of the atmosphere is just free-riding nitrogen that doesn't do anything for the job-creating oxygen. And we're never going to convince that nitrogen to support life by itself.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I love the nerdiness of this. Perfect.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Nitrogen is pissed because those noble gases won't let it in their country club.

      • noodlesalad

        Mittgon is an ultra-noble gas, because it interacts successfully with absolutely nothing, not even itself.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Nitrogen is getting together with its pal Glycerin and they are gonna take down down that whole, archaic system, man!

    • emmelemm

      Serious win.

    • Sophist[Kochblocker]

      An hour later noodlesalad puts out a press release saying he is for "the 100% of atmospheric gasses".

      • noodlesalad

        I'll double-down on nitrogen tomorrow, per the advice of my gaseous pollsters

    • bobbert

      It's like you have a nitrogen fixation.

      • CivicHoliday

        He's just getting back to his roots, man

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Hope he has his 4 leaf clover.

  • docterry6973

    I remember that Smilin' Jack was always waving at people out the window of his plane. In the comics. Back in the day. But Mittens must just making a funny. Quite a card, that guy.

  • Weenus299

    If it was 100 percent O2, I wonder how fucked up Ann was. I wonder what kind of shit she said.

    • GeorgiaMike

      Pretty much what she always done. Mittens must keep her on a regular diet of 100 percent oxygen.

  • smokingood

    Look, nowhere in the Bible of Mormon can one find any exposition of these so-called "Laws of Thermodynamics."

    • DahBoner

      No where in the Bible does it say Mormons can fly….

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    egg and miffed.

    just fabulous.

  • Pithaughn

    Run with this R$omney, "why is electricity even allowed on planes? pressurized steam would be safer!! "

    • Geminisunmars

      What about clean coal?

  • Come here a minute

    The windows don't open for the same reason skyscraper windows don't open. When the Job Creators® throw the help out the window, people on the ground get hurt.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this does not bode well for mittens in space.

  • PubOption

    She should charter a convertible from Aloha Airlines.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      That one was scary. Or the Alaska one where the tail blew off. Ick.

    • bobbert

      Now, there's a reason to keep your seat belt on.

  • GeorgiaMike

    Mittens is the man! When he is president, all the airplanes will have windows that open and everyone will have magic underwear and a pet dinosaur.

  • UnholyMoses

    I just … I mean, really, I can't … uh … this is just … um … the fuck?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Yes yes…I know I'm a broken record, but I defy anyone to convince me that the movie Idiotcracy was anything but prophecy.

    • FNMA

      Go away. 'Batin'.

      OK, seriously, just about every thing Mitt says can be summed up thusly: "I like money."

    • calliecallie

      Thank you! I have been thinking that myself for some time.

  • Calapine

    With these new, stricter commenting rules on Wonkette, is

    "Mitt Romney might not be the best presidential candidate in history"

    still legal? Wouldn't want Dr. Zoom to get grumpy and give me a long, hard, relentless spanking. Absolutely not.

  • DCBloom

    Wait…. RMoney doesn't understand why airplane windows don't open? WOW! I would expect something like that from Palin. He's supposed to be the smart one?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      When she finally realized she wouldn't be shooting wolves from Air Force One, she had a master sad.

    • chicken_thief

      Given the subset of the population we are talking about, he is.

      Scary, huh?

    • rmjagg

      of the two , he is the smart one …

    • LibrarianX

      Smarter than Palin? Yes, but that is a very low bar.

  • herecomedajudge

    think of the awesome drivers tan you could get going coast to coast

  • MadBrahms

    Man, he's really going to need Newt before he starts designing the new space shuttle.

  • UnholyMoses

    Surely he can't be serious.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      He is serious, and his name isn't Shirley.

      (Although his wife's nickname is Shrilly)

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    It's not as important for a financier to know how an engineering department works, as much as to know that it works… until it is sold off to China.

  • DahBoner

    We're lucky that American airplane windows have glass.

    Many countries can't afford windows with glass…

  • CleverSobriquet

    Maybe someone should design a system that in case of emergency little oxygen masks would fall from heaven so we could put them on before helping our neighbors with theirs.

    • Mahousu

      Good idea, though I'd suggest that even when oxygen is flowing, the plastic bag attached to the mask not inflate.

      (I have wondered why that is the case; perhaps simply to increase the confusion/terror factor, so important in an emergency. Well, ok, more likely because having little bags full of oxygen hanging around is not the best idea in a fire.)

      • sullivanst

        It's more likely to do with pressure. You don't want to be forcing pure oxygen into people's lungs at high pressure, so if the masks are coming down for reasons other than depressurization (e.g., fire), the bag won't inflate because it will be at no more than cabin pressure.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          I'm pretty sure the bag inflates when you exhale. From that point on, you're breathing a mixture of your last exhalation and fresh oxygen — not pure oxygen, and not the air in the cabin, which might be toxic.

    • TootsStansbury

      Wait'll miffed finds out even the peasants in coach are entitled to those oxygen masks.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        47% of the passengers should take responsibility for their own oxygen, and stop mooching off the job creators up in first class.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    What emergency? She probably told the plane to stop.

  • fawkedifiknow

    They should at least allow 53% of the windows to open, for chrissakes. Those taxpayers – not the moochers – built those planes!!!

  • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

    This is bad news for Seamus.

  • calliecallie

    Maybe he's thinking of those open bi-planes from days gone by. Egg could walk on the wing. It worked for that girl in The Great Waldo Pepper…for a while, anyway.

  • prommie

    Look, Fakakta, its Julie Haggerty!

    • FakaktaSouth

      Holy shit you scared me. I swear if JH had turned lady from Alaska show or Fat chick from SNL crazy on me I would have taken to my bed for a week! YAY!

      • prommie

        I am glad now, that she and I never did hook up.

        • FakaktaSouth

          I would still have been so impressed. I so wanted Leslie Nielson. I was 8 of course, so he probably would have gotten in trouble, but what's age anyway? And I like movies about gladiators (I know that was Peter Graves I'm just being pedophile-y. It's okay if it's about my ownself being pedophiled at)
          Is EVERYONE from that movie dead now just about?

          • Tundra Grifter

            Lorna Patterson – hotter than bus station chili.

          • FakaktaSouth

            She is very good looking STILL and funny as all get out –

            I thought you might like to hear a song …
            There is only one riverrrr there is only one seeeeeaaa.

          • prommie

            Does that mean she gets you harder than chinese algebra?

  • TootsStansbury

    Oh for flying out windows. Oh oops out loud. Oh for flying out loud.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I believe that technically this is a States Rights issue.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      It's funny how the R platform hasn't discussed states' rights at all in this election.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I was standing on the R platform earlier this morning, and you're right … not a peep.

  • arduinohacker

    "30,000 feet is just the right height"

  • MissTaken

    To be fair, Mitt is a robot and is therefore unaffected by drastic changes in air pressure that impact us mere humans.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Here Mitt…have a listen.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qikRcAiCtKM

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Wow, this is the quintessential Mitt Romney pointlessly foot-shooty comment. First, he believes he has to make a peculiar, stilted statement to demonstrate that he thinks it would be very bad, indeed if his wife died in a plane crash; then, he prattles on, unasked, with his lack of knowledge of aircraft and fire safety. He must be filled with self-loathing, to keep whacking his own nuts like this!

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Mitt strikes me as the kind of guy who tell the new hires (in Chinese, natch). "If you have any questions, just come on by. My window's always open."

  • SpiderCrab

    With Mitt the Mormon it's nonsense in and nonsense out.

  • rmjagg

    does he really think that she is gonna fall for the old " I was worried about you " routine , for the umpteenth time ?

  • prommie

    This fucking dumbass motherfucker is a fucking millionaire for life, while I am sitting here with a fucking chart working out how much is gonna be my half of fucking nothing.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Hey WAIT A MINUTE – you got a chart? I didn't get no fancy chart. I got (1) a busted up already signed agreement and (2) a whole new starting over, you know (but I still got that court date, heehaw). And do not trump me here reminding me what YOU got, I know, I know. So, just cling to your chart and make it into something.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        You two have so much in common. It is uncanny!

        • FakaktaSouth

          Come on now, you're a music guy – it's called Timing, baby, it's all about the, um coincidence of perfect timing.

        • prommie

          Its the uncanniness that surpasseth all understanding.

      • MosesInvests

        Hey, all of that sounds real freaking familiar. What say we all get stinkin' drunk on November 19 (the day my divorce is final)?

        • FakaktaSouth

          December 6th baby, cheers!

          • MosesInvests

            Cheers, hon! And it wasn't 'till I saw pics from Atlanta that I realized you actually look like your gravitar. (wolf whistle)

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh thank you, I do appreciate that, what with being a soon to be divorcee and such especially! I will do jealousy shots in your honor on the 19th, without a doubt!

          • MosesInvests

            Solidarity glasses will be raised in Austin on December 6. BTW, if you ever get back here, give me a holler, a'ight?

        • prommie

          I'm on!

          • MosesInvests

            "Tuesday's Gone" by Skynyrd is on the soundtrack. Any other recommendations?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Yeah, but you have a cool gravitar.

      • prommie

        A memorable scar with a story like this behind it is way cooler than a tattoo could ever be. I like my gravatar!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    I once told a woman to roll down the window when she complained to me about the cabin being too warm. She was not amused.

    • proudgrampa

      Did you really? Oh, that's good!!!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I hope you then put your Stetson over your face, leaned back and commenced to snoring like a sawblade.

  • notanncoulter

    He didn't mention GOD in there anywhere.
    Or The Troops.
    Or Freedom.
    Or Real 'Merika.
    Or Jobs.
    His campaign is so far off the rails it does not even remember what rails look like.
    He does not seem to want this very badly anymore.

  • Shadowmuffin

    It's true that there is little air at 30,000 feet but it's being rammed into you at 500 mph so you still ought to get plenty! Those little oxygen masks are for commoners.

    • sullivanst

      Gov. Romney, there's a Mr. Bernoulli on line 2, he'd like a word.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    So the plane explodes big deal just send the passengers to the Emergency Room problem solved.

    • pepperpat

      You can't send them to the ER, silly. An ambulance has to pick them up and take them, otherwise they won't get free treatment.

  • poorgradstudent

    Hasn't he seen "Alien: Resurrection"?

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Nah, he's still pissed because he found out LV 426 is supposed to be his planet in the afterlife.

    • MacRaith

      I wish I hadn't.

  • Tundra Grifter

    The last time a commercial airliner window or door intentionally opened mid-flight, D.B. Cooper jumped out.

  • Generation[redacted]

    I don't know why planes don't carry a mongoose. For the snakes.

  • BornInATrailer

    Whaaaaat…? Did he just go full Romney?

  • LibrarianX

    Robots don't need oxygen, my friend.

  • proudgrampa

    Mitt continues to reinforce my hypothesis that there is a phenomenon called the "Dumbing of America."

    • SorosBot

      I thought we learned that lesson enough from 2000 to 2008.

  • http://for-the-turnstiles.blogspot.com 4TheTurnstiles

    Well, aviation skills also comparable to McCain's! Too bad Mitt Romney is a draft dodger:
    http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/09/07/how-mitt-d

  • erikwdc

    The guy who doesn't know why airplane windows don't open wants possession of the nuclear launch codes.

    What could go wrong?!

  • prommie

    To be fair to Mitt, I bet having opening windows on jet airliners (Big Old Jet Airliners!) would work to be just as good for airline safety as exporting all of our manufacturing to China has worked out for the American economy.

    • MissTaken

      Dammit, now that song is in my head. Thanks Prommie!

      • prommie

        "I might get rich you know I might get mm busted. . . ."

        • FakaktaSouth

          Ah yes, Pink Hotel with the Light On. Such a good song.

          • prommie

            they don't come much more sick than you
            I could go on if you want me to
            it's just so wrong so very nice I told you
            once and you killed me twice
            I saw you one time at the back of the
            club chewing on glass and a ticket stub
            I heard they kicked the boy till he bled
            then stood and said oh my god till she said. . .

          • FakaktaSouth

            well hers is a tonic and mine is a gin
            they don't come much more slick
            than you

          • prommie

            Killing me!

  • DahBoner

    Ho.

  • owhatever

    Or a plane where the entire top peels off in case of emergency. Because of the lack of breathable air at 30,000 feet, an oxygen bag will first drop down from the overhead and you put it on. Wait.

    No? OK, so the doors pop open automatically at a 30,000 foot long slide unrolls so that passengers can slip safely back to earth. No? You non-engineers just don't understand. We'll fix the details in Congress.

    Egg should not have to go through the air without Rafalca between her thighs.

    • pepperpat

      30,000 foot long slide unrolls so that passengers can slip safely back to earth

      That sounds fun actually.

  • PinkoPopulist

    I now see Romney's futre: a boutique leveraged buyout firm specializing in the airline industry. I mean this is just the type of forward thinking the major airlines need:

    1) Buy major airline for pennies on dollar
    2) Load them up with debt
    3) Leave them with brilliant gems like that
    4) ?????
    5) PROFIT!!!!

    Oh wait, step 4 isn't ????? it's actually "Bailout before shit hits the fan, taking millions with you!!!"

  • Slim_Pickins

    Mitt shouldn't be so cheap when it comes to hiring planes for his wife.

    • rmjagg

      it was no accident – he wanted the sympathy vote

  • MissTaken

    In addition to opening the windows for some fresh air can we have the roof made into a convertible so I can get a suntan while flying?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Mitt loves his wife so much, he forgot his understanding of basic science when he heard she was in danger!

    (An excellent quality for a leader to have which wil lead to plenty of informed decisions in crisis situations, I'm sure.)

  • rocktonsam

    skience is hard, moneys isn't so much

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "The first question goes to Governor Romney: Governor, if Ann Romney were sucked out of the window of a burning airplane, would you favor safety regulations for the airline industry?"

    "Well let me say first, the American people should be clear that I would find it very disconcerting to misplace Ann in this way…"

    • rmjagg

      I'm sure he's misplaced her before , on occasion

  • SorosBot

    The original LA Times article is weird; this incredibly stupid comment is just buried in the middle of a rather mundane article about Romney's fundraiser without comment, and the rest of the article is basically a puff piece for Mitt. Kudos to whoever dug it up

  • doublezebra

    If you listen to the video, he was obviously being sarcastic. I hate Mitt as much as the next pinke liberal, but my god… Fox News rarely takes quotes out of context this badly.

    • bobbert

      What video would that be? The quote seems to have plenty of context.

      • doublezebra

        Oddly enough, I can't find the audio, but I heard it on the radio this morning. It sounded like he was more worried about smoke having no place to go — no windows — thereby increasing the possibility of asphyxiation or smoke inhalation, hence all the worrying about "oxygen."

        I mean, come on. His wife had to do an emergency landing because of a cockpit fire. That would rattle anyone.

  • MiniMencken

    Well, in his defense, all of the aeroplane windows open on Planet Kolob.

  • barto

    If the window had opened it might have hoovered up one Egg Romney, just sayin.

    • rmjagg

      the facial botox wouldn't compress enough to suck her head out

  • LibrarianX

    Pesky science-y details! Mitt sez: MAKE IT SO.

  • dawgeral

    Okay. Say the windows ARE open at 30,000 feet. If you're flying at 600 mph – wouldn't Egg Romney's hair look a bit wind-blown?

  • kyeshinka

    Surely Mitt can't be serious.

  • belmontreport

    Nearly half of this great country is going to vote for this man to be their president.

  • rmjagg

    it's all fine with ann to have a slave open a window for her at 30,000 feet . her magic underpants double as a parachute …

  • Toomush_Infer

    Well, I've watited long enough: nobody explained to him that it was because of the Over/Under, Roger….?

    • kyeshinka

      I think Romney is under Dunn. Or just Oveur.

  • Barrelhse

    I think if they just had those little triangular fly-windows it would be fine. They used to suck the cigarette smoke out of the car, anyway.

  • Sharon__from_WI

    Ever have a moment you can't believe what you're reading? This article about Mitt wanting airplane windows to open in flight is one of them. Can't help but wonder if this idiot gets into the White House he will mandate that the FAA require windows that open.

  • ahnc

    Dog on roof: check
    Open airplane window: chec…woosh

  • Limeylizzie

    I couldn't believe Wonkette hadn't jumped on this story, so emailed exclusive tip to Rebecca, now feel stupid, because here it is. Wonkette never disappoints.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    In the original transcript, he was actually going to something about having Seamus ride on top of the airplane.

  • SorosBot

    And yay, from a quick google search it looks like the mainstream media is starting to pick up on this story, while itwas only being carried by a few liberal blogs (and original LA Times story with the quote buried) a couple hours ago.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    "… the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem."

    He was kidding, right? Please tell me this is a joke and he did not really mean this. I refuse to believe a guy running for president could be this ignorant. Vice president, yes (Hi, Sarah!), but not president.

  • ColHeightsChic

    Why isn't this getting the play that Handsome Ol' Joe got when he made that whole "I wouldn't let anyone I care about get on a plane" statement?

  • labman57

    To solve the problem, Mitt has custom-ordered a private jet with a sun roof … as well as a cargo carrier for Seamus.

  • barto

    Somebody check BO's pockets for the wireclippers.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    And thus does Mitt Romney display a profound ignorance of:

    Rhudementary fire science ("fires like oxygen").
    How Earth's atmosphere works.
    That airplanes are pressurized.
    That airplanes travel very fast.
    That if you don't understand how something works you should just shut up, or at least ask someone to look it up for you first.

    • TootsStansbury

      Don't forget the weirdness about all the bad stuff sinking down into the bottom of a muffin.

  • LibertyLover

    Can Dennis Miller still be considered a comedian? B/c he's not really funny.

    • TribecaMike

      He's not even unintentionally funny.

  • TribecaMike

    Well, there goes the widower vote.

  • docterry6973

    In the article a Romney spokesman says that the campaign is doing great because it is raising a lot of money. I thought the idea was to turn the money into votes, but that just shows that I am not an experienced political operative.

  • DangerHelvetica

    "And why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?"

  • http://wonkette.com/ VA_Dreaming

    I hope that Romney has better ideas for fixing schools, the economy, the military, foreign policy, et al. than he does for fixing airplanes. But I doubt it.

  • AutomaticPilot

    Hmmm, that picture looks familiar…

  • chascates

    53687 Views? Jeez, did no one do any work done today?

  • Nostrildamus

    This dude seriously belongs on Celebrity Jeopardy.

  • sherlockboneman

    Pilot here, and wow, this comment is so ignorant it's almost as if it came from someone who knows nothing about science. That was sarcastic, he's an idiot. Commercial airlines pressurize to 8,000 feet. Any altitude about that- especially the routine 35,000 feet that airlines cruise at creates a mast pressure differential. If the window were to open, that's known as "rapid decompression", and will not only suck the air clean out of everyone's lungs causing people to pass out almost instantly, but hypoxia at that altitude will kill very quickly. We also have to remember that because the temperatures are around -60, the rapid decompression past the dewpoint will cause the water to to leave the air and instantly form ice, freezing everything in the airplane. But he has a good point- the fire would probably go out. *sigh*. It's amazing someone this uneducated could be president. At no point aside from a small single engine airplane that flies at a few thousand feet would having windows that open be a good idea.

    • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

      That sounds very sciencey.

  • dawgeral

    Egg is starting a whole, new fashion trend! The "wind-blown" look for 'gals on the go'. Look "busy" even when you're not!

  • 31415

    Just a thought, let us combine Newt's moon colony with a new GOP Headquarters and put Mitt in charge of life support.

  • LibrarianX

    I smell a rat – even Mitt isn't this clueless. So, what's his game? Is he already working to lower expectations for the debates, so that he can suddenly appear informed and wow everyone?

    • LibrarianX

      Romney lost his debate with Ted Kennedy because expectations for him were inflated prior to that event. Don't be fooled Wonketters – Mitt is not this dumb.

    • LibrarianX

      Look – this is TOO EASY! Everyone loves to laugh at Mitt (that includes me), but we are being suckered. Shit – I feel like Cassandra.

  • kullervo

    Somebody ask him if he knows how magnets work.

  • Liberalatchi

    So I'm wondering – were there none of those oxygen mask thingies that fall out of the ceiling in her aero plane? You know the thing that won't feed the fire so it will explode your plane?

  • Sassomatic

    One would be foolish to wish harm on the Mrs. Romney. Because sympathy votes. (And also because that would be terrible. There are very few people whose death I wish for. You know who you are.)

  • IMBwildered

    That certainly gave the Romneys something to talk about the next morning when they sat down at their ironing board for breakfast. YOU PEOPLE shouldn't be poking fun of the mentally challenged.

  • mahe676

    As far as I know, Romney's jet does have a roll-down window. He uses it to hose down the dog in mid-air.

  • Negropolis

    I didn't know that "Romney" was a Polish name.*

    *don't hurt me, please.

  • seharinga

    We aren't a scientist here either but exactly whose brilliant idea was it to nominate Jessica Simpson as the next president of the United States? I mean, this level of stupid really doesn't lend itself to secrecy.

  • woolmyn

    Too bad he couldn't ask Payne Stewart.

  • dawgeral

    Oh, I get it! There's "Egg" on his face!!!! Ew. I don't really feel well at all.