Mexican MittOh, man. We were already aware that Egg Romney simply does not care for backtalk from The Help, and that Miffed Romney may not be great under pressure (or ever?). And Miffed Romney hasn’t had a good day we can remember since his Mr. Bean-level disastrous trip to Europe, which spawned the eternal, plaintive question “What about your gaffes?” But FUCK ALL, Buzzfeed has quite a story about Miffed’s trip to see the Mexicans at the Univision forum today, from sources both on the record (a Univision anchor, who detailed the many last-minute demands the campaign made) and off (a GOP source who says Romney threw a “tantrum” and refused to go on). A tantrum, Miffed? In front of people you are not actually paying? BEST. NOMINEE. IN HISTORY.

From Buzzfeed:

While introducing Romney at the top of the broadcast, [Maria Elena] Salinas’s co-anchor, Jorge Ramos, noted that the Republican candidate had agreed to give the network 35 minutes, and that Obama had agreed to a full hour the next night. Ramos then invited the audience to welcome Romney to the stage — but the candidate didn’t materialize.

“It was a very awkward moment, believe me,” Salinas said.

Apparently, Romney took issue with the anchors beginning the broadcast that way, said Salinas, and he refused to go on stage until they re-taped the introduction. (One Republican present at the taping said Romney “threw a tantrum.”)

Let’s repeat that: Mitt Romney THREW A TANTRUM because he didn’t like the anchor noting that he’d agreed to appear for 35 minutes as opposed to Barack Obama’s hour. And then he REFUSED TO GO ONSTAGE until they retaped the intro. We are starting to think Miffed Romney, in addition to having what we suspect is Asperger’s-induced Insult People To Their Faces Constantly Syndrome, also might have a problem of temperament.

But oh, there is ever so much more. How many haughty demands did the Romney camp make on Univision? (All of them, Katie.)

Here are a couple!

  • Salinas told BuzzFeed that tickets for each forum were divided between the network, the respective campaigns, and the University of Miami (which hosted the events) — and she said both campaigns initially agreed to keep the audience comprised mostly of students, in keeping with the events’ education theme.

    But after exhausting the few conservative groups on campus, the Romney camp realized there weren’t enough sympathetic students to fill the stands on their night — so they told the network and university that if they weren’t given an exemption to the students-only rule, they might have to “reschedule.”

  • They were given an exemption, and “bus[ed] in rowdy activists from around southern Florida in order to fill the extra seats at their town hall.”

  • Obama’s campaign, meanwhile, stuck to the original parameters and allowed a large chunk of the tickets to be distributed to interested students on campus. The result was a quiet, well-behaved crowd — and a lot of no-shows. Minutes before Obama’s forum was to begin, producers began frantically directing university staff and volunteers to sit in the empty seats.

    Salinas said both candidates ultimately had partisan crowds at their forums, but that Romney’s non-student activists ignored instructions to hold their applause.

    “We were a little bit thrown because it was supposed to be a TV show, it wasn’t a rally,” Salinas said of the outspoken Romney supporters. “It was a little bit of disrespect for us.”

  • The result?

    When the Republican took his place Wednesday night in the first of two back-to-back candidate forums televised on the mega-network, he was greeted by an adoring, raucous crowd that cheered his every word, and booed many of the moderators’ questions. The next night, President Obama was treated to stone cold silence from the audience as he was aggressively grilled on his lackluster immigration record.

    The only thing anyone will remember from the Univision forum, of course, is Miffed’s disastrous brownface. According to Salinas, the makeup lady swore it was just Miffed being sunburned. We’d imagine it’s more along the lines of The Help shitting in the chocolate pie. But we’re sure that Great American Hero makeup lady is right, because that way she gets to keep her job.

    [Buzzfeed/Photo by AP, Charles Dharapak]

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    • Barbara_

      Ann was also miffed and said, "Let them eat tres leches cake." Which is the best cake evah!

    • SorosBot

      Has there ever been a more petulant and entitled douche become a major party's nominee for President? He seems determined to piss off all of America.

      • sewollef

        Well, he's pissed off me I can tell you. He's a fucking arrogant, entitled piece of privileged shit and I'm done with being nice to Miffed. Well, ok I haven't been nice to him at all so far, but still.

        So as I read this story, Mittens bussed in a boorish, trailer-trash rabble to cheer him when he scratches his arse or picks his brown-face nose and the President's crowd was polite and followed Univision's instructions, yet was given a hard time with the questions?

        God knows, it made me go and donate another $100 to Obama's campaign this morning… and I'm not even a citizen. In fact, being English, I must rank even higher than Mittens surely?

        • I know the campaign will send you dozens of thank you messages, but they will all ask for MORE money. I will just say thank you to contributing to sanity in this country. Period.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Ummm … I hope you're a permanent resident.

          • sewollef

            Yes I am. These past nine years I have enjoyed myself immensely in what is a great country — apart from the republican cocksuckers that is.

      • Callyson

        I remember when I thought that about W, but even Junior found a way to present a likable facade to the American people. Mittens can't even manage to do that much…

      • AddHomonym

        Where have you gone, Bob Dole?

      • AddHomonym

        OTOH, I heard Ike could be a real prick.

        • Angry_Marmot

          Or as Kay Summersby exclaimed, "That's a real prick."

      • lumpenprole

        I'm wondering how the 1% is feeling about him. He's done more than anyone else in living memory to show the electorate what a privilege and plutocracy looks like. The "job creators" hate us. Duh.

        • Charlie_Foxtrot

          The bottom line for the 1% is the Bottom Line. They require a return on their investments. They aren't going to pour billions into Romney if they think he's going to lose. All the rumblings are that his donations are running dry.

          The 1% expected the same thing we did from Citizens United — that elections are theirs for the buying. They can still steal a close race through fraud and voter suppression (though that is starting to break against them in the courts — a lot of judges face voters, too, it turns out, and voters get pissed at judges who try to take away their votes.)

          It's starting to look like the equation of money=elections may be a little more complicated than we (and they) thought, though.

          • NellCote71

            Good analysis. Thanks.

          • lumpenprole

            That's what I mean. He's turned " quiet rooms" into a clown show in front of the proles.

        • the_cuntress

          The super-rich hate having attention paid to them (the only form of pay they hate), it's shocking they let Mittens here make such a scene.

      • natl_indecency_cmdr

        he's topped even Nixon. Nixon!

      • tessiee

        "Has there ever been a more petulant and entitled douche become a major party's nominee for President?"

        Caligula Bush was a little prick who I thought was the perfect storm of dumb and mean, but I don't remember him being this — pissy.

        • NellCote71

          I agree. Cal Bush at least pretended to like the rest of us 99 per centers. And do we really want Ann's frosty disdain after four years of Michelle love?

      • cletar

        Was Thurston Howell III ever a major party nominee?

      • smitallica

        Not since the doomed Scrooge McDuck/Monopoly Guy campaign of '36.

    • badseeds

      Also I bet the rider stipulated no green M&Ms.

      • ThankYouJeebus

        Ewwww. You just made me think of a horny Mittens.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Sounds like Sheer "uh" "Am i uh An Idiot" uh InSannity's contract to appear for "free."

      • Gov. Romney (backstage): "There's some problems here. I don't even know where to start. Look, this miniature taco… I've been working with this now for about half an hour. I can't figure out…"

        Ed Gillespie: "No, you just put a little bit of shredded beef in here…"

        Romney: "But if you fold it, it breaks like this."

        Gillespie: "Why would you fold the tortilla again? It's already folded."

        Romney: "I don't want this, I want large tortillas so I can put this, like this. This doesn't work because then it's all…"

        Gillespie: "I see, because it hangs out like that."

        Romney: "Look! Would you be holding this?"

        Gillespie: "No. No, I wouldn't want to be eating that. You're right."

        Romney: "So it's a complete catastrophe!"

        Gillespie: "You're right. You're right. Look, I want you to calm down."

        Romney: "I'm calm. No, it's no big deal. It's a joke. Really, it's…"

        Gillespie: "I'm sorry, Governor, but listen, it's just some Mexican TV show, okay? I want you to calm down."

        Romney: "It's a joke."

        Gillespie: "I'm sorry, you're right. But I don't want it to affect your performance, all right?"

        Romney: "It's not going to affect my performance. Don't worry about it, all right? I just hate it. It does disturb me, but I'll rise above it. I'm a professional."

        • Romney:

          Fuck it!!! We'll do it live!

        • doloras

          Ann Romney: "If I told them once, I told them a hundred times, put 'Puppet Show' last and 'Mitt Romney' first!"

        • tessiee

          This is one of my favorite scenes of any movie ever, not least because I was working for the Plantation University of North Carolina the first time I saw it, and Ian saying, "It's just a cracker college anyway" made me burst out into loud, bellowing guffaws that made everyone else in the theater turn around and stare daggers at me.

        • UW8316154

          Ryan: We're lucky.

          Romney: Yeah.

          Ryan: I mean, people should be envying us, you know.

          Romney: I envy us.

          Ryan: Yeah.

          Romney: I do.

          Perry: Me too.

      • teebob2000

        Moroni says, "NO CHOCOLATE ALLOWED!!!" It's got the demon caffeine in it!!! (Even though it's not a hot drink, so WTF's up with that??)

    • no_gravity

      I'm guessing Mitz was wearing MAC bronzer stick in the shade of Billionaire Bronze.

      • Callyson

        Only two left in stock!

    • You people simply don't deserve such an excellent president.

      • Veritas78

        And just to show us, we shant have him. Our loss, clearly.

        Prediction: there will be no "Miss me?" billboards for Willard.

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          There really needs to be an update of the W "Miss me?" billboard.
          On the left side would be W with "Miss me?" under him. On the left side would be a pic of Romney with "GOP says: Yes, we do." underneath.

          • tessiee

            Someone with skillz needs to photoshop this ASAP!

        • HogeyeGrex

          I'm just thrilled at his impact downticket. Before the conventions, I was worried about keeping the Senate. Now there's a possibility of taking the House? Damn, dude. That's some serious shit. Is there anything Mitt Romney can't do?

          • tessiee

            Shut up, apparently.

      • Boojum

        I agree. We will just have to do with the one we have. Sad, really, I'm sure.

      • Mahousu

        And for once, it looks like we're getting what we deserve.

      • It's just like Ann said: we just don't understand how lucky we are to have a Presidential candidate that is as qualified as Mitt.

        • ThankYouJeebus

          I wonder if this is the unzipped Mitt she encouraged us to get to know.

      • ibwilliamsi


      • Terry

        And we don't realize how HARD this is

    • TootsStansbury

      How very Presidential, Willard. Enjoy your goose; you cooked that!

      • kittensdontlie

        Coprolalia is the involuntary exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks. This Greek term is broken down as follows: copro=feces & lalia=to talk. Thus, if you ever hear feces talk, that might just be Whiffed Romney.

        • TootsStansbury

          Why, just this morning my poop said "Failing Failure Obama is not the right height for this country." then I heard it going "Ha.Ha.Ha.Ha." as I flushed. Amazing!

    • This guy must be one of those Obama voters with the victimization fantasies that Mitt Romney keeps talking about.

    • mmeetoilenoir

      Oh, for fuck's sake. Romney, you are not that cute, your wife is a cunt, and your hair is tacky. Just stop it and go back home to your pool full of dollar bills and abject, utter failure.

      • miss_grundy

        And the elevator for your cars because you refuse to park them in a garage, like the forty-seven percenters….

    • AbandonHope_

      I assume that he'd whine to the United Nations, too, when he didn't get his way.

      Or unilaterally nuke everybody when he got a bit annoyed, and then retroactively blame Obama for it.

    • The Rmoneys, Miffed and Egg-o, are simply laying the groundwork for the formation of the true Teaparty from the ruins of the elephant graveyard.

      Coulter / Corsi 2016

      • eggsacklywright

        Coulter / Corsi 2016

        The horror. The horror.

        • DCBloom

          I just threw up a little in my mouth

        • tessiee

          It's OK, they'll be running against Michelle Obama/Elizabeth Warren.

      • chicken_thief

        Oily Taint for Attorney General!!!!

    • I metioned this before, but it bears repeating:

      As Ann Says regarding "rope lines":

      “We call the rope line now the advice line,” she said, laughing, explaining that “everyone cares and everyone wants to help and everyone wants to just give their piece—a little piece of advice—so I feel like my best advice is just to bring peace and calm to him and just trust in him and just say, ‘I know you can do it,’ but not to give him any advice because it gets too overwhelming.”

      • Boojum

        "Because I have a vagina, which makes all of my other advice wrong."

      • Toomush_Infer

        Noblesse obli….oops….

      • chicken_thief

        Trying to fuck himself, as repeatedly advised, is overwhelming?

    • Poor little Money Boo Boo.

      • Angry_Marmot


      • cletar


      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Holy crap. I finally gave in and had a look at what's behind this annoying Honey Boo Boo meme. It's fucking horrifying. This crazy shit belongs in a goddamn John Waters cult flick.

        All the therapists in the world won't be able to get this kid straightened out.

        • tessiee

          John Waters? Faulkner couldn't do them justice.
          One of the teenaged daughters of the family just had a baby with three thumbs.
          I am not kidding.

      • tessiee

        And then, when somebody calls him on his shit, he whines and complains and turns into Money Boo Hoo.

    • mmeetoilenoir

      You know that he threw a tantrum because he's not used to having to work with brown folk. I mean, how dare they not do his bidding? They clean up his bathrooms and kitchens well enough, so why can't they just get this right, too?

      • sbj1964

        Mitt my grandfather once lived in Mexico also.Except he was not there waiting for the Statue of limitations for polygamy a crime to expire.He was just drunk for two years after my grandmother divorced him for cheating on her,and booze is cheap in Mexico.

    • BarackMyWorld

      How did Mitt Romney distinguish himself from the villainous novella characters appearing on Univision's other programming?

      • BoroPrimorac

        El Robot Enamorado con Willard "Mitt" Romney.

      • pdiddycornchips

        Easy, no mustache.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Better tan?

      • tessiee

        he doesn't have enough personality to do that supervillian evil laugh.
        Ann might, though.

    • SorosBot

      Mitten's campaign is flailing so badly now, we even have at least one conservative claiming a Romney loss will actually somehow be good for the conservative movement. They seem to be slowly realizing they're toast:

      • sbj1964

        And to think he was the pick of the litter.That says a lot about the GOP as a whole.

        • SorosBot

          He was the only candidate who wasn't obviously insane; the Republican Party really has been taken over by the lunatic teabagger set.

        • pepperpat

          More like the litter of the litter.

        • Toomush_Infer

          And to think how long it took to decide he was the pick – those puppies kept getting picked up and put back in the cardboard box a lot!…

          • Some of them still have stretched necks.

        • BoroPrimorac

          Think of what it says about the idiots who have dropped hundreds of millions on his campaign.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Bets gone bad … it happens. The potential payoff was huge enough to justify the risk. Remember, these are plutocrats for whom your lifetime earnings amount to a minor tax rate adjustment.

      • carlosmuecke

        He does post this at the end SorosBot…."Really? Although you think your ideas are better and that they’d ameliorate the coming crises, you’d rather the other side be there to take the blame, even if that means something terrible for the country you claim to love.
        The conservative movement always comes first."

    • mbobier

      This is what happens when Mittens gets sass from the help. Especially the brown ones.

    • Indiepalin

      Mitt Romney loves him some ass burgers

    • sbj1964

      Rafalca did better at the Olympics than Mittens is doing in the polls.And that horse choked! Mitt should take him to the glue factory.But it's not the horses fault Ann kept him up all night at a show in Tijuana.

    • coolhandnuke

      Mittazuma's Revenge: he pisses in the water of all the Messicans who mow his lawns, dress his horses and change his grandkids diapers. Or "those people" who attend to anything he didn't build himself–which is everything.

    • sbj1964

      Sire,47% of the people are revolting! I'll say they stink on ice.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      The make-up person saying that Mitt was already browned- up only means that she didn't do it.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        Who on earth thought she would have? It's not like he's going to walk into the studio as the pale rider (on Rafalca) and then walk onto the stage as Fernando Lamas hoping nobody would notice the transformation. Of course he showed up that way- even he isn't that stupid…

      • I'd give anything to hear the conversation where he is being convinced that brown make-up will make the audience like him more. WHO in heaven's name proposed that?

      • tessiee

        No professional makeup artist would want to take the blame for that botched job.

    • ThankYouJeebus

      And that uppity brown woman dared to ask Lord Mittens follow-up and yes/no questions.
      I would pay to see the hissy fit that happened in the limo afterwards.

      • miss_grundy

        I would have loved to hear the conversation between the Univision anchors after the show. I'm sure it would have included some very nice cuss words in Spanish. Hopefully, one of them called him "un comemierda".

    • Veritas78

      I still can't get over the fake tan. ¡Está panderifico!

      • Callyson

        George Hamilton must be so jealous.

      • kittensdontlie

        He was wearing a serape, but his tears caused the cheap messican dye to run, so to avoid looking silly, off went his sombrero also.

    • Gee, who'da thunk that an autocrat would be bad with democracy? This is like Ross Perot's campaign, except that Rmoney was a CEO and a bishop, and not used to backtalk either way.

      • ThankYouJeebus

        At least H. Ross had charts and graphs. He was colorful!

        (And truly, EDS was a wildly successful global company, employing thousands of people, that he really did grow from nothing. And he was proud of the government contracts they won, also too.)

        • James Michael Curley

          I'd like to see a Perot/Ryan ticket – Four More Ears!

      • SorosBot

        It shows how the right's belief that businessmen are somehow good political leaders is total bullshit. Corporate executives are used to being surrounded by yes-men and having their every whim obeyed; politicians have to compromise and work with others, not just hand down orders from on high.

      • eggsacklywright

        I wondered if Mormons had bishopricks.

        Now I know.

      • Guppy

        a CEO and a bishop

        God's Own MBA.

      • Charlie_Foxtrot

        Now look here. Runnin' fer President's very simple. The campaign's broke. Ya gotta fix it.

      • tessiee

        At least when Ross Perot showed up at the NAACP dinner and said, "Say! You people are all right!", he didn't have his face plastered with makeup like a trollop.

    • Miles Davis was really weird like that too.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Being a musical genius will earn you a lot more indulgence than being a pissy millionaire.

      • DCBloom

        After giving humanity Bitches' brew, he could do whatever he wanted

        • Radiotherapy

          Or Kind of Blue

    • CrunchyKnee

      Willard is a rat.

      • eggsacklywright

        Crispin Glover libel!

    • Wadisay

      If douchebaggery was a chocolate eclair, Mitt Romney would be a chocolate eclair over 52 feet long.

      • PsycWench

        What a wonderful transformation that would be, too.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        If douchebaggery was an Olympic event, he would've actually gotten that Gold Medal that he so coveted

        • It might have been a worse PR spectacle if Rafalca had actually won a gold medal.

      • Guppy

        That's some eclair.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Chris Christie approves of that image.

      • tessiee

        I find your comment surprisingly easy to masturbate to.

      • bobbert

        And, of course, just the right height in proportion.

      • viennawoods13

        Could be worse… could be a twinkie

    • coolhandnuke

      (One Republican present at the taping said Romney “threw a tantrum.”)

      Better known as Mitt's Hispanic Attack.

    • LibrarianX

      wants to see footage of Mittens stamping his little feet.

    • Boojum

      White men should just not have to go on Mexican TV. You people should know better and have more respect.

      • PurgedVoter

        I want to hear what voice they used to dub him. Please tell me they dubbed him!

    • "YA BASTA!"
      — Ann Romney, through a translator.

    • Limeylizzie

      Big points for using "Hispandering" also good is "Tandering".

      • commiegirl99

        I steal only from teh very best

        • memzilla

          As Picasso said: "Good artists borrow. Great artists steal."

    • Slim_Pickins

      This will only further endear him to has base. Post-Morten baptized Mormons, who will be allowed to vote because religious freedom.

    • Slim_Pickins

      Lurch now wears his gun on his left side because he has already shot off his right foot.

    • sbj1964

      Mitts little tantrum was just that time of the month.I think he needs a Mexipad,and some Pamprin.

      • sbj1964

        A Mexipad is a Mexican feminine hygiene product made from soft tortillas.

    • Rotundo_

      He really, really, *really* isn't ready for this presidenting thing is he? Univision should have stuck to their guns and put on an hour of an interview with an empty chair. It would have been more revealing and more intelligent and more honest than anything Mittens could have spewed forth.

      • SorosBot

        But they'd just be ripping off Clint Eastwood!

    • pepperpat

      I feel really stupid asking this and I'm probably going to regret it, but why do "you people" (heheh) refer to her as Egg Romney?

      • coolhandnuke

        She has an icy white shell on the exterior and is full of dead poultry and scrambled thoughts on the inside.

        • pepperpat

          OMG that makes perfect sense. Thanks! LOL.

          • eggsacklywright

            Sigh. While CHN's explanation is a good one, it's actually a reference to Arrested Development.

            • pepperpat

              See, I knew I was going to regret asking. ;-) I found the reference you're talking about.

      • Angry_Marmot

        Who, her?

      • ShortAndCurlies

        I'm glad you asked. I just assumed it was because she sort of looks like this lady:

    • MiniMencken

      Muchos van por la lana y vuelven trasquilados.

      • tessiee

        What the…?
        Many vans for the wool and vulvas… something…?

    • Beowoof

      Slip the make-up girl a Benjamin and voila Juan Percent appears. Well America, your choice is clear a rationale, calm black man or a giant white douche bag who will cater to the browns for their votes and tell them to fuck off and go home.

      • "Juan Percent" is awesome.

      • tessiee

        "Juan Percent"

        I hereby nominate Beowoof for King of the World.

        • bobbert

          Share some props with Tequila Mockingbird — she came up with Juan two or three days ago.

          • Beowoof

            I was driving yesterday when I saw the responses on my phone and didn't have the chance to get online and mention that I merely stole the line from Facebook.

    • sbj1964

      Juan Rom,looks like a oompha Loompa.Who would ever have thought that being white would hurt you as a GOP Presidential candidate?snark.

    • Doktor Zoom

      He's not very bright, is he?

      • Chichikovovich

        It certainly does make you wonder how he could have gotten into Harvard Law school. Because he couldn't take advantage of affirmative action, like, ….you know who. Apart from a multimillionaire auto company CEO, Michigan governor, cabinet secretary, presidential candidate father, who could on a whim arrange a dinner with the president of Harvard with a 30 second phone call if he so chose… I mean, apart from that what did Self Made Mitt have going for him?

        • Does that legacy stuff work for post-graduate, too? One would hope that merit would kick in more strongly at that point.

          • Chichikovovich

            Legacy stuff would have some effect at the Law School though to much less of an extent than the undergraduate college. Med School too, I've heard it claimed, though presumably to even less of an extent. But I don't think legacy stuff (i.e. having family members who attended the school) are at issue here since as far as I know Mitt was the first person on either side of his family, at least in the last several generations, to go to Harvard.Rather, Harvard cares a great deal about political influence. Their graduates become Important People, Supreme Court Justices, Presidents, etc, and they want to make sure the path to those positions (Federal Clerkships, plum jobs as Senator's Aides, jobs in the Solicitor General's or Attorney General's office, ….) stays open for their graduates. The prospect of having someone with that much clout feeling warm and fuzzy and grateful to you won't get a complete dunderhead accepted, to be sure, but it goes a long way toward making a “(just barely) acceptable but unexciting” applicant into an “acceptable and very exciting” applicant.And the fact that the parent could also donate the cash to put air conditioning in the Law Library or expand that darn faculty parking lot that never seems to have enough spaces won't get a dunderhead in either. But it sure will make a candidate who would be in a huge clump of people on the bubble look good. Gotta make the choice somehow when you've got a bunch of nearly indistinguishable candidates, right? What else are you going to do? Flip a coin?—

            • BoatOfVelociraptors

              Mitt needs more!
              Mitt needs more!

              Could be a fun chant.

            • I see, I hadn't bothered to look up whether George Romney went to Harvard. So in this case it's not "Legacy Stuff," but the closely related "Eminence Affirmative Action."

          • tessiee

            "Does that legacy stuff work for post-graduate, too?"

            Dumbass Bush went to Yale for undergrad and Harvard for grad.
            OK, it was only B-school, but still.

      • He is not well-adjusted, at least. But give him the carcass of a road-kill company, and he will bank a use for every bone and tendon.

    • eggsacklywright

      If Mittz still has the campaign bus, it should be christened Blunderbuss.

    • From his pizza-peddlin' post in Georgia, Herm Cain takes this in and wonders how do you say "meretricious" in Cuban.

      • miss_grundy


    • Callyson

      One Republican present at the taping said Romney "threw a tantrum."

      Someone must have filmed this…please please please post this, stat…

      • SexySmurf

        I'm imagining Mitt's monocle flying off of his face and him repeating the words, "Well, I never!" over and over again.

    • randcoolcatdaddy

      I've not seen a "sunburn" like that since the last time I sliced open a cantaloupe.

    • PsycWench

      I'm really looking forward to the debates. I want to see how he handles it when he can't stick to the talking points and gets called on it.

      OT I am very sad because one of my relatives posted a pic on Facebook of her new bumper sticker. It says "I'll take the Mormon over the moron". Did I mention that this relative is dumb as a post? Never went to college or held a real job?

      • The Mormon schtick doesn't bother her perhaps, even resonates with her, since Mormon Jesus is readily quoted same as Mainstream Jesus: "The dumb will always be with us."
        Except, Mormon Jesus Joseph Smith was observed rubbing his hands together a little more gleefully with the reciting of that verbiage.

      • eggsacklywright

        My condolences. It's difficult to have a special relative.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        you didn't need to mention it- it's assumed (and we ALL have at least one of them)

      • you know a couple days back there was a mini wonkette war blog on amazon: leaving snarky comments on an amazon seller of that stupid bumper sticker.

        it really is stupid and 'mormon' is really not the issue.

      • tessiee

        My condolences.
        Cousin Rockhead and his mother's facebook pages both have under "political views", "Ronald Reagan". That's it, in its entirety.

      • I happily had the opposite experience this weekend. I went to brunch at a relative's house today and there was a blue hang-tag on the handle to their front door. It said, "This is a Democratic household and we support Barack Obama for re-election," next to the Obama logo. Beautiful sight.

    • cybermoe


      • mavenmaven


    • littlebigdaddy

      I hope he has the cello tape, fake Fu Manchu and false teeth ready for when he does an interview with an Asian tv station.

    • smashedinhat

      What a diva. I bet he wants white leather furniture in the quiet room.

      • tessiee

        And a big bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones taken out.

    • pdiddycornchips

      Holy shit! I cannot wait until the first debate. If Hopey's team is paying attention, they should be able to rile him up enough to throw another tantrum on live TV. Like maybe mentioning his dancing horse or his car elevators or his complete lack of empathy for anyone not worth ten digits. Seriously, fuck this guy.

      OT but we really need to see your tax returns Mitt. I am willing to bet my entire net worth ($750 in my checking account, an ipad, a set of Ping golf clubs and a few pieces of Gustav Stickley furniture) that you received amnesty from the IRS in exchange for paying your back taxes. Do you think we're all as fucking stupid as your base? No one gets elected President without a thorough vetting you self important twat waffle. You're not entitled to an exception.

      • my memory is we had a glimpse of the skull beneath the skin during the primaries, didn't we? brief flash of rage during a debate? but i can't remember the specifics.

    • ElPinche

      "My Moroni!! You people are not as good as my lawn care people. THEY LISTEN!!"

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I take back what I said about Mittens being a selfish jerk. He just keeps giving and giving.

    • Here Comes Munny Boo Boo

    • Come here a minute

      To the Editrix:

      No fair stealing "All of them, Katie" from your lowly commenters — we need all the low hanging fruit down here.

      Hoi Polloi

    • Flat_Earther

      Sopt it! Do you know how hard this is?

      • tessiee

        harder than spelling "stop"?

        [speaking of low hanging fruit…]

      • Flat_Earther

        Ha Ha! I doubt Ann have patience with spelling errors.

    • arcadesproject

      Y'll can talk about Romney's inadequacies as a candidate all you want but close your eyes and visualize the freak show at the Republican debates and then tell me which freak would have been better.

      Obama is a rare and priceless gem of a guy who can talk about progressive-ish sounding stuff and then enact a conservative agenda. At one blow he can destroy the Democratic Party as a vehicle for even mildly progressive policy and enact most of what the corporate right really wants.

      • SorosBot

        Yeah, he's destroyed progressive interests by reforming health care, using the stimulus to prevent the economy from imploding, ending the Iraq war, and putting two solid progressives on the Supreme Court. Spare me this "Obama is really a conservative!" purity trolling bullshit. It's that attitude and resultant voting for Nader that lead two eight years of George W. Bush, and is directly responsible for the war in Iraq.

        • tessiee

          "It's that attitude and resultant voting for Nader that lead two eight years of George W. Bush"

          Also, the fact that Al Gore distanced himself from Clinton and ran a fairly half-assed campaign, but yeah.

          I have very little patience with anyone over the age of 10 who says things like, "They're all the same", "They're all corporate puppets", etc., or doesn't want to vote for "the lesser of two evils". They MAY all be corporate puppets, but they are NOT all the same, and the first time we found that out the hard way, America almost died.

          • Charlie_Foxtrot

            Tess, I hope the Overton window has not shifted so far away that any criticism from the left of Democrats in general and Obama in particular is unacceptable and branded "purity trolling bullshit." (Not your words, I know.)

            I'm old enough to remember when mainstream Democrats were far to the left of where Obama is now. Even Clinton was left of Obama (but still right of Nixon). Though Nixon was left of Obama, he was right-wing because his contemporary Democrats were way left of any of today's mainstream Democrats.

            Obama's policies and instincts are corporatist — not as extremely corporatist as Republicans, but not progressive either. Recognition of this is not saying "They're all the same" nor that there is no difference between Obama and Romney. It is saying that there is vast political and policy territory to the left that Obama would prefer, temperamentally and politically, to leave unoccupied.

            I absolutely credit Obama with what he has accomplished. Of course it is not the same as the disaster that a McCain administration would have been. But I am not apologetic for criticizing where Obama has not done enough, and condemning when he has made unjust or immoral decisions, or left the right thing egregiously undone.

            Obama will not move left unless progressives push him left. We have to demand it. We cannot quietly accept whatever he finds convenient to give us — the health care debate, with Democratic majorities in both houses, made that abundantly clear. The Overton window will not shift left unless we make it inconvenient for Obama not to adopt and champion progressive positions.

            Waiting and hoping for the Republicans to implode, while avoiding impolite criticism of the President during a tough campaign and in his second term, will result in either, at best the status quo in the political agenda; or worse, further drift to the right, with the Republicans getting a chance to pull their cynical evil shit together, and give us President Palin or God knows who in 2016.

            If we are not actively advocating and creating newly viable political positions on the left, then we will continue to be pulled to the right. Because I will bet my ass our counterparts will not hesitate to keep pushing right.

      • Charlie_Foxtrot

        At one blow he can destroy the Democratic Party as a vehicle for even mildly progressive policy

        SSHH!! You're supposed to just clap louder for the health care "reform" written by Big Pharma, Blue Dogs and Joe Lieberman. Clap louder for ending the wars (well, except for the drone strikes). Clap louder for closing Guantanamo. Clap louder for outlawing torture and official murder of US citizens. Clap louder for the courage to take on Wall Street.

        If you go around saying, on a "progressive" web site, that it sure would be nice to have something better than "progressive" Democrats who are to the right of Richard Nixon, then you are all but guaranteeing a Romney presidency. Because Ralph Nader.

        Just shut up and clap louder, you troll!

        • I'm pretty sure I never told any of you people to shut up except the ones who said "stay home and don't vote."

          • Charlie_Foxtrot

            I'm sure you never did, and I didn't mean to imply you did.

      • Obama is the Great Satan!! He, and he alone, is destroying the Democratic Party!! Why can't you so-called Progressives see that?!

    • ahnc

      Mitt's cojones got pinched by the Latinos?
      Yep, he's ready to face China and Russia.

      • Not Latinos in general, just a couple of TV executives.

        • ahnc

          John Leguizamo says it best – "Latins for Republicans – it's like roaches for Raid. "

    • emperorbob

      I think he's channeling that other GOP Diva – Sarah Palin. LOL


      Can't wait for his Al Jonson makeup at the BET channel.

      • tessiee

        When he makes a speech before the National Organization of Women, he's going to dress in full drag and insist that everyone call him "Mitzi".

        I'm kidding, of course.
        Mitt would never make a speech before the National Organization of Women.

        • BTWBFDIMHO

          Mmmm, I guess I gonna have to spend the whole night fotochopin now. Mayhaps after SNLoling.

    • Sassomatic

      Methinks the Emperor has no suntan lotion. Or something.

    • There's no film of the tantrum per se, but there is a clip of Mitt's first entrance.

    • MItt has indeed screwed the pooch. Porked the Yorkie. Dicked the dachshund. Boinked the beagle. Diddled the Dalmatian. Banged the boxer. Shtupped the schnauzer. Pumped the poodle.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        No love for the Fox Terrier?

        • Ooh. That's a tough one. That's going to take me a while.

          • tessiee

            Yeah, if only there were a word for the sex act that began with F.

        • mayor_quimby

          Took the Fox Terrier's derrière?

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        is that before or after he strapped 'em to the roof?

      • tessiee

        Schtupped the Seamus.

      • rmjagg

        anything but ann

    • The post-mortem HBO movie will be Brian DePalma's "Yamface".

    • chascates

      He should have just relaxed and opened up with a joke or two. "Wow, I wish Ann was here. She's probably never seen so many stable grooms and landscape helpers in one place." BAM! "Seriously, I enjoy the contributions you people have made to our America. Tacos, frijoles, and of course, Montezuma's revenge!" BAM!

    • BartStarrland

      Well played, Mitt, using the tax return / charitable giving gambit – "In order to keep to my ongoing assertion that I've been half assing my campaign all along, I spent only 35 minutes on the taping, instead of the 60 minutes I could have".

    • Look at the EARS! As a pale white person, I know, my ears are the first things to get sunburn. Why are his not the same color as the rest of his face?

      Hint – they don't makeup your ears for TV!

    • PubOption

      I also note that Mitt's hair colorist missed a bit. Mitt now has a very unnatural-looking gray stripe along his collar line.

    • tessiee

      I demand video of Mitt Romney yelling, "FUCK IT! We'll do it live!"

      • mr bojangles

        has mitt ever said the word fuck, for pete's sake!

    • tessiee

      Mel Gibson on Line 1…
      Christian Bale on Line 2…

    • tessiee

      "Fine! THAT'S JUST FINE!! I didn't WANT to be in your stupid forum for jerks ANY-way!!"
      *stomp stomp stomp*

    • DahBoner

      It's looking quite sad that all this was a "setup" for poor old Mittens to be the GOP's Designated Loser in 2012, because no one else wanted the job, except for the sideshow assclowns…

      • tessiee

        If that's the case, they're going to an awful lot of trouble to keep…
        *those people* (if you know who I mean)…
        from voting.

        • Again, a disastrous inability to coordinate their game plan. And that used to be what they were good at.

    • tessiee

      Shorter Mitt: "I am not touchy and you shut up!"

    • Sacanagem

      I believe that somebody has mentioned this before, but that look is just CRYING out for the world's smallest sombrero perched on his little spray-tanned head.

      • PurgedVoter

        Mittens with a Mexico themed facinator!

        ¡Ay caramba!

    • CPT_D

      Quite the tribal chieftan, eh NRO?

    • Negropolis

      The unaired introduction includes Mrs. Romney emerging from backstage and telling the hosts to "Stop it!" with all of their "biases."

    • alzronnie

      Mittens walked in, looked around, and said "They sure have a lot of janitors in this place!"

    • PurgedVoter

      I am now convinced that Mittens can speak Whale!

    • BenGleck

      Needz moar NARANHA!

    • fitley

      Can you imagine what it must have been like trying to keep a bunch of Florida meth head Mitt shills quiet. I'm surprised the stage wasn't showered with rotten teeth when the tweakers started inappropriatly cheering.

    • mgardener

      You should have had a fit over your make up.

    • ttommyunger

      I've seen these downward spirals before. Fucking up leads to more fuck-ups which leads to more fucking up. Ordinarily these are painful to watch; yet in this case, I find myself strangely aroused.

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