They were hungry. So hungry. It was like the nurses and the porters at their “retirement” “communities” — jails, each and every one of them — were doing it on purpose, ignoring their wails for bigger portions of the lousy slop they called “food.” And they always stole everything that wasn’t locked down! They were starving inside their shriveled bodies, which didn’t need much in the way of sustenance or sleep, and even that they were not getting. And then Paul Ryan came to the stage.

“Blah blah blah I’m a giant liar who constantly lies, about everything,” he said, “We must repeal Obamacare.” They were on him in an instant. Mrs. James Worthrupp II was the first to hobble onto the stage and take her cane to him, and where Mrs. James Worthrupp II went, her best friend Liza always followed. Liza, who was rather whorish and always had an army of frail, withered penis from which to choose, dived onto the floor, her old woman breath in Paul Ryan’s face as she bit his ear clean off. The blood sent the others into their usual frenzy, and in 2.5 minutes (though it seemed both shorter and longer), Paul Ryan had been mauled into tiny little Paul Ryan shreds of lean meat and gristle.

Paul Ryan wasn’t very tasty — not enough fat — but he would have to do until the next earnest young man came to sell them some lies. [Mediaite]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleChris Wallace Rumbles With Peggy Noonan For Control Of The Gang
Next articleHey Why Are All These Mexican Mormons Drinking Tequila All The Time Anyway?