HER?  9:37 am September 21, 2012

Ann Romney Wants You To Cry For Her, Argentina (Audio!)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Now keep your distance
It is Mitt’s time, and Egg Romney has had about enough of you people sniping and whining and curb-jobbing her husband.

“Stop it. This is hard. You want to try it? Get in the ring,” she said. “This is hard and, you know, it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.”

That should help! Hear Egg Romney scold you, after the jump!

Now, are we being fair? Perhaps she scolds us (actually, her fellow Republicans) playfully, or with humor? Hahaha, what do you think? (<---- Listen!)

What is it about Egg that makes the Romneye Campaigne want to use her sparingly? It is probably her tendency to berate "the help" (anyone not a Romney) when they question the Romneys. It is also probably her self-pitying claim of "terrible suffering" during Romney's loss to (no first name or honorific, because she is classy) “McCain.” And just the general cuntiness. Probably that.

[RadioIowa]

 
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{ 267 comments }

magic_titty September 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

I fear she may be a bigger asshole than Mitt, but I don't want to appear sexist towards female assholes.

kittensdontlie September 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

Mitt is too much of a fancy-nancy boy to stand up for himself.

actor212 September 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

I'm shocked he doesn't call her "Mommy"

kittensdontlie September 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

She's aloof so he might use "Ma'am".

Isyaignert September 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

You mean like St. Ronnie Raygun?

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:11 am

Nothing is an excuse to be an asshole. You're doing the right thing.

hagajim September 21, 2012 at 10:49 am

Hmmmm….cunty is perhaps more appropo.

sudsmckenzie September 21, 2012 at 10:52 am

Don't worry, the last election cycle jaded us into, well … jade.

slowhansolo September 21, 2012 at 11:19 am

Honestly, I don't think Mitt's an asshole. That requires a dash of humanity.

mayor_quimby September 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm

That is true, an asshole needs to know what makes other people mad and willingly does those things. Mittens just doesn't care, if he thinks it he says it, and never looks back.

shelwood46 September 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

It would be sexist not to think her an asshole. But not a female asshole, that implies she's only competing against the girls for title of biggest asshole.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I'd say, "She must tie him up and fuck him in the ass every night", but we all know that's Paul Ryan's job.

CivilMcMannerly September 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

Can't wait for her and her horse to dance into the sunset.

GunToting[Redacted] September 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

LEAVE. MITT. ALOOOOOOONNEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

freakishlywrong September 21, 2012 at 9:40 am

Broached Egg doesn't know the meaning of "this is hard". And yes, I mean like that.

chicken_thief September 21, 2012 at 10:01 am

Having the jerb of being mommy to five boys, I suspect Egg knows hard. Or used to. If she can remember back that far. Like to the days when poor her and poor Mitt had to sell off stock to pay for college and shit.

Now not even Mittens would fuck her self-entitled ass.

YasserArraFeck September 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

They were so poor, they had to do the nasty on the ironing board, for heaven's sake!!

freakishlywrong September 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

Yeah, hiring all that live-in help WAS probably hard. You can't just let ANYone raise your children.

GunToting[Redacted] September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

When Mitt and Egg were living in that tiny apartment during grad school, where did the maid and the butler sleep?

weejee September 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

In the portfolio.

sullivanst September 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

Any possible meaning of "this is hard", you mean it like that.

DemmeFatale September 21, 2012 at 11:23 am

We like to say "it's so hard" in our house after a VERY wealthy Jordanian friend of ours said: "it's so hard. I'm not asking for much. I don't need a French cook. I'd settle for a good Arab cook,"

ManchuCandidate September 21, 2012 at 9:41 am

Just cry for me Dumbfuckistan
The truth is I'll never call you
All through these bad days
Of His incompetence
I am quite pompous
Please keep your distance

fuflans September 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

ann romney: making madonna look vulnerable and sympathetic.

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:24 am

Madonna would eat that bitch for breakfast. She made it on her own talent and work, unlike Ann

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:25 am

Nice meter!

Chow Yun Flat September 21, 2012 at 10:57 am

You have outdone yourself with this one, Manchu.

Self-Uploader September 21, 2012 at 9:41 am

It's hard for Americans not to like a pretty mom of five, who's survive MS and cancer, but she makes it easier every day.

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 9:46 am

The problem is her "pretty" is skin deep, but the ugly goes all the way down.

Troubledog September 21, 2012 at 10:05 am

You had me at pretty mom

UW8316154 September 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

Do you know who else was a pretty mother of five?

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

Leona Helmsley?

actor212 September 21, 2012 at 10:22 am

Not even if you're counting her dogs. Zero children.

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:48 am

Aww, c'mon, facts are stupid things.

Chichikovovich September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

three, four…. five children!

Got it! Magda Göbbels!

OK, um, and … uh, then she had a sixth.
And, um, I guess she wasn't what you would call "pretty", but the actress who played her in Downfall was hot.

Look, fine! OK smartasses – let's see you do better! It's been eleven minutes already and nothing. Geez Louise.

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 10:22 am

Mitt Romney?

actor212 September 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

Carol Ann Brady?

trampndirtdown September 21, 2012 at 10:25 am

Mother Jones?

memzilla September 21, 2012 at 10:28 am

Elzire Dionne?

Chichikovovich September 21, 2012 at 10:40 am

Ah! Quint-tastic answer.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Bristol Palin?

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 9:42 am

Can't use Egg sparingly enough, we're already sick of her.

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 9:54 am

You might have to change your moniker…

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

Whaddya talkin' 'bout? I can see just fine.

Chichikovovich September 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

And that's with the yolk already separated out.

LesBontemps September 21, 2012 at 11:20 am

Whites only?

FidoMcCokefiend September 21, 2012 at 11:55 am

Don't be an Ann Hog

nonbeliever7 September 21, 2012 at 9:43 am

In every meaning of the word, Ann's never had it "hard".

OneDollarJuana September 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

Aren't horses often artificially-inseminated? Just askin'.

deanbooth September 21, 2012 at 9:43 am

… and the horse she danced in on.

freakishlywrong September 21, 2012 at 9:44 am

I'm getting the feeling that perhaps her temperament is not well suited to be FLOTUS.

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

I dunno- Babs Bush would cut a bitch, so nasty isn't disqualifying.

Texan_Bulldog September 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

Agreed. You know how Michelle is always hugging the ugly, unwashed masses? Ann would point her sceptre at people & have her aides hug them for her.

freakishlywrong September 21, 2012 at 9:58 am

And say adios to the garden and the brewery..

HELisforHEL September 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

This caused me to LOL in the anonymous cubefarm of deadly silence I'm shackled in. I'm surrounded by people like Mittens and Egg here, and you nailed it.

Used to getting their own way, a feeling of superiority due to their 'prettiness' and a general attitude that This Is Their Destiny.

Egg probably leaves the bathroom a disgusting mess, figuring 'the help' will clean up after her, just like the women here do (funny, when I worked in factories, the women always left the bathrooms clean).

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Having whatever they want effortlessly handed to them just because they want it is Their Rightful Due.

DemmeFatale September 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

Her temperament may be wrong, but her "look" is right.

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

I'm confused, she looks nothing like Michelle Obama!

Mahousu September 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

Just like mayonnaise left out on a summer day, our Egg is showing signs of being a bit spoiled.

chicken_thief September 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

And she'd be about as healthy for the country as tainted mayo is for the body.

HELisforHEL September 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

Poetic!

Baconzgood September 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

I'm beginning to suspect she's a bit of a whiner.

chicken_thief September 21, 2012 at 10:05 am

LOU SARAH LIBELZ!!!

bobbert September 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Coddled Egg.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

White whine.

GregComlish September 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

Didn't wonkette institute a New Year's moratorium on calling women cunts? I guess that expired like so many New Years resolutions.

finallyhappy September 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

I don't like that word- I have never said it but I think the moratorium was on the R word only. Also for us Jews- the New Year just started so it is a new game now anyway

fuflans September 21, 2012 at 10:05 am

i like to think republicans were exempted from the new year's bans.

Preferred Customer September 21, 2012 at 10:37 am

IOKIYAAR

FakaktaSouth September 21, 2012 at 10:10 am

Meh, not MY fault she's a cunt.

actor212 September 21, 2012 at 10:26 am

Perhaps Trix intended it in the British sense of the word.

Oh, wait, that's twat, isn't it?

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 10:34 am

Fanny.

commiegirl99 September 21, 2012 at 10:51 am

Whatever ARE you talking about it?

GregComlish September 21, 2012 at 11:12 am

Man, this is totally something real. I'm going to spend the next hour doing a google search for Wonkette + Cunt and I will prove this.

Edit: Nevermind, my work apparently prevents me from using search terms like "cunt".

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 10:56 am

Nope, the Editrix had an entire post based on calling Ann Romney a cunt.

DemmeFatale September 21, 2012 at 11:29 am

No one says it like Lizzie!

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I once made a New Year's resolution not to make any resolutions.
It was one of the few I actually kept.

commiegirl99 September 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I once resolved to go to more parties, and I TOTALLY DID.

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

She's got a point – after all, if Mitt were a decent campaigner, Obama would have a much lower chance of getting re-elected. So we are all lucky that the party of idiocy picked him as their standard bearer and not someone with the slightest charisma.

chicken_thief September 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

"…someone with the slightest charisma."

Forget it, T-Paw. They ain't going to draft you now.

pdiddycornchips September 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

GOP primary field:

RMoney
Newt
Santorum
That Texas doofus
Ron Paul
Tim Pawlenty

Charisma isn't exactly the first word that comes to mind with these guys.

GunToting[Redacted] September 21, 2012 at 10:21 am

You left out Miche1e. Oh, you said charisma, not crazy.

bikerlaureate September 21, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Charisma, chootspah. Same diff.

Estproph September 21, 2012 at 10:21 am

Who else could they pick? As bad as Romney is, he's still the best they had. Except maybe Huntsman, but Huntsman wasn't enough of a crazy bigot asshole to win anyone over.

weejee September 21, 2012 at 10:30 am

Given the wisdom of the Raging' Cajun's mantra, "its the economy stupid," the most batshit crazy thing of this election season is that Nate Silver has Bamz as close to a sure bet to win as a pollster will call it us still being six plus weeks out.

DemmeFatale September 21, 2012 at 11:32 am

Well, someone has to lose.
Did you really think it wouldn't be you?
Awwwwwww…

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 9:45 am

Egg is rotten, giving off an aroma of sulfur.

FakaktaSouth September 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

Okay Ann, let's do this – we'll all stop saying mean things about you just as soon as every thing that comes out of your face stops proving what a terrible horrible no good very bad cunt you are.

LibertyLover September 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

Leave Brittney Mittens Alone!

You people are lucky he even wants to be President for you.
All you people want is more, more, more, more, MORE!

You're lucky he even talks to you BASTARDS!

Leave Willard alone! Please!

Baconzgood September 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

Jesus. You own a dancing fucking horse. Cry me a fucking river cunty McCunterson.

fuflans September 21, 2012 at 10:50 am

and you get to deduct taxes for it.

Texan_Bulldog September 21, 2012 at 9:48 am

Ha ha…I'm doing a Mud Run tomorrow. One of the teams is called Thundercunts (for realz). Wonder if Ann is captain of that team.

I'd give $10K (okay pesos, not dollars) to see Ann & Peggy Noonan duke it out.

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 10:03 am

There was a girls team at CU years ago called The Muffaloes.

weejee September 21, 2012 at 10:35 am

Pay for it with one of these, and tell Egg and Dame Peggington to keep up their muddled and angry work.

no_gravity September 21, 2012 at 9:48 am

You people…better learn your place.

Signed,
Queen Ann

randcoolcatdaddy September 21, 2012 at 9:48 am

Ann seems to feel that she and Romney are entitled to the same respect that one might give Queen Elizabeth. I've got news for you, Ann – the British Monarch has more class, empathy, and humor in the fingernail clippings of her pinkie than you have in your whole family.

And CORGIS!

finallyhappy September 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

CORGIS!!!! yes! Love those funny funny long dogs!

DemmeFatale September 21, 2012 at 11:38 am

Feisty, smart, and bossy as hell.
Ann wishes she had the character of a Corgi.

GunToting[Redacted] September 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

Quick! Someone reunite the Sex Pistols! If Ann were FLOTUS and some band issued something like "God Save the Queen" directed towards her, SEAL Team 6 would be mobilized.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm

God save the Ann
Her husband fakes his tan
A couple of Mormons
They're also morons

It's not a big tent
It's just the 1%
And there's no future
No future for us

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Plutocracy is bollocks! Bollocks!
the 1% is bollocks! Bollocks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7SYfQoXGzU

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Corgis vs. a dancing horse?
what to do… what to do…

AlterNewt September 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

That poor woman

Mojopo September 21, 2012 at 9:55 am

She's the dancing horse.

chicken_thief September 21, 2012 at 10:09 am

Bless her heart.

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

I know there's no evidence of intelligence or strategy coming out of the GOP these days, but should we start checking the obvious chunks of red meat like this for hooks/poison? Because this is just way too tempting, like a goat staked out all alone to a lion.

ThankYouJeebus September 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

Red Alert! The Bubble Girl's container has been breached.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 21, 2012 at 9:50 am

♪ My Mitt mistake brings all the libs to the yard
And they're like, you gaffe so hard.
Damn right, I gaffe so hard.
I would teach you, but I have to recharge…♫
~

Mojopo September 21, 2012 at 9:50 am

The chattering class is sooooo beneath her. Take note Peggington Noonington! Egg is obsessed with being maligned, and with Mitt not taking her advice. She brings up "trying to put my head down…just go forward", and phrases of that nature, several times. Her biggest challenge is keeping it zipped and him being a poophead. She is the perpetually angry, biting team member we've all had, who self-generates the biggest payload of angst.

AncienReggie September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

… the biggest payload pantload of angst.

/fixed

docterry6973 September 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

I guess I still cut her some slack. She isn't a pol and it must be hard to hear what she hears and do what she does. But it is a hell of a lot harder to be a single mother working at Wal-Mart, not that Egg would know or care. She is pushing the limits of my tolerance.

pdiddycornchips September 21, 2012 at 10:00 am

Slack? Fuck her. She's a typical rich cunt. Self centered, entitled, and tone deaf. If you read her statements, it's about her suffering, her pain. She doesn't seem to know or care about anyone unable to write a big enough check to attend a fundraiser.

Mojopo September 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

It is stunning to hear how psychologically unprepared she is. I was trying to imagine FLOTUS saying these things, and I couldn't. It's too emotionally raw and self-centered. I really don't think these people are strong enough to lead an entire nation as a first family. Their ideas are terrible, but they're emotional wrecks, too.

AncienReggie September 21, 2012 at 10:27 am

Agreed. Mitts looks totally lost, furtive and insecure. Ann looks … eggish.

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 10:39 am

Well, what has she ever done to prepare? She was a non-entity in prior campaigns, and has no record of high-profile exposure. Michelle Obama had been an attorney at a big Chicago firm, then a public figure in her own right with the city and University of Chicago. Even Laura Bush had been in the light of Texas society long enough to know how to keep all the pain inside (with or without medication).

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 11:20 am

Not exactly a non-entity: she gave an infamous interview when Mitt ran for the Senate that spilled the beans on the lie that Mitt never "inherited" anything from his father (he got his nut off the old man while he was still alive).

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 11:00 am

What are you talking about?! She's been a Governor's wife, and has been through 3 high-profile campaigns as Mitt's wife. Fuck her.

Mojopo September 21, 2012 at 11:02 am

Exactly. She acts as if none of it happened. This isn't her first rodeo, and granted the stakes are much higher, but WTF!

Barrelhse September 21, 2012 at 11:42 am

He's been running for president for years; she's had plenty of time to figure it out.

CrunchyKnee September 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

Cunty cunt is cunty.

natl_indecency_cmdr September 21, 2012 at 10:28 am

cunts gonna cunt.

kittensdontlie September 21, 2012 at 10:40 am

A cunning cunnilingualist.

BornInATrailer September 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

Oh but it's sad when campaigns shit the bed
But we have pretended enough
It's best that we both stop fooling ourselves

Which means …

PuckStopsHere September 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

But it's their turn! Have you people forgotten that? (Hint, in your recipe for disaster, use Ann sparingly. It turns out there's a reason the public tires of her. Right, Willard?)

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

OT, important DoD news:

AFAP
The Armed Forces Action Plan (AFAP) is the grass roots process to identify and deliver changes to the community. Submit your issues now for the Oct. 23 to 26 conference where volunteers will gather, work to resolve issues and brief the command on changes that are needed. There is no issue too small or large because if it can’t be fixed locally, it will keep on going. Last year, an issue went all the way to the Department of Army so that a change could be made.
If you have an issue or would like to volunteer to be part of this conference, call 493-4203 or 0631-3406-4203, or visit <a href="http://www.mwrgermany.com” target=”_blank”>www.mwrgermany.com.

Steverino247 September 21, 2012 at 9:59 am

Sure, fly me to Germany again. This time don't do it in the belly of a C-141. Thanks.

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 10:15 am

It's different now. Belly of a C-17 first of all, and all the AFAPing you might care for!

Steverino247 September 21, 2012 at 11:42 am

I've been in the belly of many a beast, my friend.

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

What? Our armed forces believe in working on things locally? Socialist community organizers!!!!!!!!!

PinkoPopulist September 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

If your last name starts with Rom- and ends with -ney it must be impossible to open your mouth without inserting your foot…

Mumbletypeg September 21, 2012 at 9:57 am

Coming up with nicknames, however, could be fun.

…Mitt "Romancing the Cheney" Romney?

kittensdontlie September 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

Mitt looks to me after each debate answer to see if he did OK…–Egg R

Who's wearing the pants in this family….?! Mitt has Egg all over his face.

ThundercatHo September 21, 2012 at 10:01 am

"Mitt has Egg all over his face" I seriously doubt that ever happened.

kittensdontlie September 21, 2012 at 10:25 am

Mitt best relent to her legitimate demands, or suffer the consequences…well, either way there will be suffering.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:32 pm

If it did, she wouldn't have that pissy expression all the time.

Mumbletypeg September 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

Huh. The collective noun "a scold of bluejays" I'd heard of. But the "Scold of bluebloods" is new to me.

ETA: awesome photo, Editrix~

freakishlywrong September 21, 2012 at 10:01 am

Believe it or not there.s actually a "congress of baboons"

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

Well, at least 96 or 97 of them. Bernie Sanders is OK.

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 10:27 am

Rash of prostitutes.

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:53 am

How about a cauldron of Republicans?

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

murder of crows is still my favorite.

vtxmcrider September 21, 2012 at 3:40 pm

… not to be confused with a parliament of owls.

finallyhappy September 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

I forgot my Jewish New Year's resolution already. I was only going to respond to any RMoney post with "Gangnam Style". One resolution gone – ok, the only other one left is win powerball and solo pay for a Wonkette drinky thing

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 9:54 am

Listen, Annie, your robot husband was selected from a field of cretins as the least offensive of the bunch to replace the blah guy. So piss off. The end.

freakishlywrong September 21, 2012 at 9:55 am

"It's our turn now".
"Yeah, start packing..*hatelaugh*.
Egg and Mittens when asked if they had a message for the President.

Spurning Beer September 21, 2012 at 9:55 am

I wonder if Egg has considered what her pet project will be as First Lady.

I'm guessing a charity that gives non-underprivileged people-of-colorlessness with lactose intolerance a chance to learn dressage. Or maybe support for all-euthanasia pet shelters.

sudsmckenzie September 21, 2012 at 10:42 am

An "all white egg" Easter egg Roll.

Steverino247 September 21, 2012 at 9:57 am

“Stop it. This is hard. You want to try it? Get in the ring,” she said.

OK, Ann. What fucking "rings" have you ever been in? Other than the one you're wearing on your finger, that is? How shallow and superficial "you people" really are in the 1%. Why the hell do people think you're anything more than a cabal of thieves, determined to loot the global economy?

And buttsechs? The only buttsechs you're going to get is watching your husband lose the Presidency. Can't wait for that little moment of pleasure, especially since there's no lube good enough when you lose like that on national television.

Weenus299 September 21, 2012 at 10:34 am

Do Olympic rings count? Whenever Rafalca does his prancy-on-the-backs-of-slaves in competition with other horsies, I wonder if the competition gets a wee bit cutthroat.

cvdurhm September 21, 2012 at 9:58 am

I'd get in the ring but I can't afford a dancing pony.

chicken_thief September 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

Ugh. You people….

~ Eggs

Wadisay September 21, 2012 at 9:58 am

Here's some free advice, Ann: start drinking. It would go great with the rest of your privileged, condescending persona.

Steverino247 September 21, 2012 at 11:43 am

No Ann Romney Clinics, though.

Isyaignert September 21, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Maybe if she sparked up a fat joint to go with her cocktail, it'd help with her cuntyess.

KathrynSane September 21, 2012 at 9:59 am

From the link: "During her 10 minute speech to the crowd, Ann Romney said she was here in Iowa to talk about 'the good side' of her husband that 'very few people know about.'"

Uh, maybe no one knows about your husband's 'good side' because he's actually an arrogant prick?

Ohforcripessake September 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

No there's a thought. Mitt should show us his "good side" and I'm sure he will , just as soon as he can find it.

La_Cieca September 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

"We've been trying to reveal Mitt's good side for seven years now, and as soon as we find it, we promise you are going to see it!"

bobbert September 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

There is no camera fast enough to capture Mitt's "good side" before he flips to one of his many bad-to-terrible sides.

rickmaci September 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

You forgot "little", which now appears to be quite evident.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:36 pm

'the good side' of her husband that 'very few people know about.'"

And, totally coincidentally, all of those very few people make over a million dollars a year. I mean, what are the odds?

Ohforcripessake September 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

"Bless her heart.."

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:10 am

And her pointed little head.

cheetojeebus September 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

You won't have Mitt to kick around anymore.

sudsmckenzie September 21, 2012 at 10:03 am

Ann, I've been a bad, Bad BAD boy.

LibertyLover September 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

Ann says: "Stop it!"

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:09 am

Sure, but what's the safeword?

sudsmckenzie September 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

Mountain Meadows

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:21 am

I have always felt the best safeword(s) were “Harder, please”

thatsitfortheother1 September 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

Over easy.

chicken_thief September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

Hard?

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:22 am

Palomino?

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:24 am

Fetlock?

trampndirtdown September 21, 2012 at 10:31 am

Withers?

emmelemm September 21, 2012 at 10:58 am

Green balloons!

LibertyLover September 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

Shorter Ann: The nattering nabobs of negativity are picking on my Mitt.

UW8316154 September 21, 2012 at 10:04 am

"STOP it, you guys!! This is haaarrd! I'd like to see *you* do a better job."

Whiner.

ThundercatHo September 21, 2012 at 10:05 am

Fuck off Egg. Go clean some stalls, that's what I just did. You might find it's very Zen and humanizing. P.S. Pro tip: You hold the skinny part of the manure fork.

actor212 September 21, 2012 at 10:06 am

It's another "You people" moment.

Troubledog September 21, 2012 at 10:07 am

If this is the best Kraken they can release, it's gonna be a long October.

actor212 September 21, 2012 at 10:11 am

Kraken! Egg! I get it!

UW8316154 September 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

Glad to see you back these days, TroubleDog. Still doing the ferry commute?

Troubledog September 21, 2012 at 10:26 am

Thank you so much, it's such a delightfully rare event to be missed in any context. How have you been?

And yes, still on the boat commute despite the total lack of any incentives, like Frequent Sailor miles. Guess that would be knots, actually. Speaking of knots, do you still have that cheerleader outfit?

;)

Mumbletypeg September 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

It's the same kind of attitude I'm sure many a school admin' had to endure when trying to negotiate w/ Mama Romney the at times questionable classroom behavior of her sons.

Principal: "The problem is, Mrs. Romney, your son Tack seems to have developed a fascination with leaving thumbtacks in the teacher's chair"
Ann: "Stop it. This is hard."
Principal: "Actualy that's what his teacher's first reaction was…"
Ann: "I'm still nursing a cranberry tonic smoothie hangover, and it's early for my usual brooding mare regimen.. You want to try it? Get in the ring!"
Principal: "Actually I do have three children of my own–"
Ann: "…It’s an important thing that we’re doing right now, raising our sons to be the first Mormon beneficiaries of their father's Presidential legacy."
Principal: "Mrs. Romney. If we could address the chronic misbehavior of Tack, it disrupts an otherwise productive and wholesome classroom environment."
Ann: "Typical of you plebes. No idea, how lucky we are to have someone with Tack's qualifications and developing experience and know-how… to be able to eventually have the opportunity to ruin this country! I mean, run this country."

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

Can't wait for the debates. The other guy in the ring is going to wipe the floor with her hubby. Will Ann be there to throw in the towel?

UnholyMoses September 21, 2012 at 10:08 am

The big issue is that her and Mitt do not have a "marriage."

They're more of a "Rich People Breeding Program" that ensures the wealth isn't used to help you people.

Abernathy September 21, 2012 at 10:10 am

But will she still let us eat cake?

GunToting[Redacted] September 21, 2012 at 10:39 am

The cake is a lie!

Abernathy September 21, 2012 at 10:51 am

The cake has been debunked and selectively edited.

emmelemm September 21, 2012 at 11:44 am

No cake for you!

actor212 September 21, 2012 at 10:11 am

Editrix, this is really insulting to Eva Peron, who actually gave a shit about the desaparacidos.

When it was convenient. Egg can't even muster that much faux compassion

LibertyLover September 21, 2012 at 10:11 am

From the link: "You will maybe take note,when he's in the debate, he will look after each question…. to me … and it was like: Did I do OK, Ann?"

And If his answer was good, Ann gave him a little snausage treat.

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 11:22 am

And if it was bad, she rubbed his face in Rafalca's last steaming pile.

el_donaldo September 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

But how does this affect our homegrown Eva Peron, Sarah Palin?

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:29 am

She probly gets all twitchy just thinking about Mittz monnies.

fuflans September 21, 2012 at 10:13 am

Stop it. This is hard. You want to try it? Get in the ring…

no honey none of us wants to get in the goddamned ring. the ring is generally reserved for giant egotistical assholes who have an unnatural desire to flaunt their limitations in the public space.

you and your husband chose this course. deal with it.

and quit blaming the 99% or 47% or whatever the hell you aren't who are just trying to earn an honest cocktail at the end of the day.

Mojopo September 21, 2012 at 10:57 am

Hard? Try being Michelle Obama. Has anyone been creating photos likening Ann to a gorilla? Do they pick apart her vacations, clothes, and does the "chattering class" parse her every word to find evidence of unpatriotic behavior? Michelle rises above this stuff because it's silly and deserves no attention. She's a mature, emotionally prepared adult. Ann seems to be lost, and there is no way this woman is emotionally prepared to be FLOTUS.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 21, 2012 at 10:14 am

I bet she is one mean mother with a coat hanger.

LibertyLover September 21, 2012 at 10:24 am

No wire coat hangers!

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:43 pm

At least not until Mitt, Ryan, and Todd Akin get put in charge of overturning Roe v. Wade.

Nibbler of Niblonia September 21, 2012 at 10:16 am

I'm loving this Wonkette theme of calling Ann "egg" but she much more like Gangy – without the martinis and the sense of humor.

eggsacklywright September 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

Hey, Annie, the Insane Cult Posse you call a church is gonna fine you when they find out Mittz hasn't been coughing up his full ten percent.

BoroPrimorac September 21, 2012 at 11:03 am

All the VIPs in the Mormon church are doing the same shit. It's "you people" who get kicked out if they skimp on their ten percent.

pepperpat September 21, 2012 at 10:18 am

Maybe Ann should trade places with Mrs. Obama for a day so she can see what a piece of cake it is being married to a guy who probably receives more death threats than any other human being alive. Not to mention seeing pictures of him turned into a monkey, a tribal savage, or dressed as Hitler. Oh yeah, and protecting two teenage daughters from all this ugliness and making sure they have as normal a life as possible. And all the while, doing it with a grace and confidence this country hasn't seen in a FLOTUS since Jackie Kennedy. while wearing reasonably-priced designer clothing.

Oops, this is Wonkette. Hey Ann – BLOW ME. :-P

Goonemeritus September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

“it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is”

I for one am profoundly thankful to have Governor Romney and his VP pick to help define the conservative sides of this argument. I can think of no candidate that more clearly defines who the modern Republican Party is.

Guppy September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

Once again, some of us are rather fond of cunts…

UW8316154 September 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

I want to see Ann versus Callista in the Octagon. No one leaves until there's a winner! Who will prevail as the cuntier entitled bitch??

sudsmckenzie September 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

Ann Romney vs. Peggy Noonan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELzjQ8F_2gE

Misty Malarky September 21, 2012 at 10:22 am

I can't wait for the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical The Egg and I.

LibertyLover September 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

Uh, in all seriousness… Mitt is asking for a JOB of representing the American people. ALL of the American people. If he gets elected, and that is a real scary possibility if people don't get out and vote, he's going to take it as a mandate to eliminate the safety net that so many need in these hard times. (As well as privatizing Social Security and Medicare)

What bothers me most is that Romney has not once asked for the job, or told me why he wants the job. He just assumes that it is going to be his as his birthright. And I do NOT want to have to listen to Robot Mitt and Queen Ann for 4 years! Please don't let that happen.

You will now be returned to your regularly scheduled snark.

scorpy1 September 21, 2012 at 10:30 am

When doves cry

scorpy1 September 21, 2012 at 10:31 am

…and when HTML tags or delete buttons don't work…

glasspusher September 21, 2012 at 10:31 am

Man, I listened to her whine on that audio clip for about 30 seconds. Couldn't stand it anymore. Man, Mitt's going to be in the doghouse with her after he loses. I'm pretty sure he'll be more butthurt than Ann when this is over.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"I'm pretty sure he'll be more butthurt "

*snicker*
Yeah, literally!

Chichikovovich September 21, 2012 at 10:31 am

We should start a pool about how many lines into the prepared "wifey thank-you concession speech" Ann can spit out before she cracks and lets loose an unprepared, spittle-flecked tsunami of venom directed at "you people".

I think she can make it to sentence 4, but then I've always been a bit generous in estimating people's capacities.

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 11:15 am

Wives give concession speeches?

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 11:25 am

I'm guessing she won't be available to the media for a long time after the election/until Romney has downsized the staff to a point where no one is watching her.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Hell, I don't think she'd be able to hold out until sentence 4 if they won.

Maman September 21, 2012 at 10:32 am

poached in reality bites

natl_indecency_cmdr September 21, 2012 at 10:32 am

I'm beginning to think Egg is more Lady MacBeth than I originally thought.

Nesnora September 21, 2012 at 10:40 am

"My best advice is to bring peace and calm to him"

ie: "I was told to shut the fuck up." *pets horse*

bobbert September 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

"Oh, Magic"

poorgradstudent September 21, 2012 at 10:41 am

I'd have more sympathy for her comments if she extended them to Michelle Obama, who no doubt for some mysterious reason has gotten it twenty times worse than Anne ever did and ever will, but of course I doubt that kind of empathy is even in Anne's field of comprehension.

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 10:46 am

Can you imagine Michelle Obama ever going on-air and saying anything like that?

BerkeleyBear September 21, 2012 at 11:25 am

Well, lots of crackers imagine it all the time. Michelle doesn't actually say it, but they sure do imagine it.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Yeah, she's so *angry*,
and so… so… *militant*,
with all her, um, broccoli…
and um…

not white and blonde…
oops, did I say that last part out loud?

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 10:47 am

"If it's so damned easy, then you take the Iron Throne!!" http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/i/2012/03/14/game-of

Abernathy September 21, 2012 at 10:53 am

Perfect Republican logic: Spending vast sums of money to get a job you're not fit for just to stroke your ego = deserving sympathy. Not having enough money to live = your own damn fault, don't expect no sympathy.

emmelemm September 21, 2012 at 10:59 am

Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown.

DahBoner September 21, 2012 at 11:04 am

how lucky we are

Casino Mitt– sadder than an Injun Casino!

He's the poor's "best bet" (but he doesn't gamble folks)

Also America's Bartender, Coke dealer and AA meeting sponsor.

ITS ONE STOP SHOPPING FOR THE FUCKING POORS GIT IT

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 11:04 am

I like their strategy in FLA yesterday – "Get the brownish-looking Romney boy, the one who speaks Spanish!"

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 11:10 am

Michelle Obama has more class in her left bicep than this bitch has in all of her summer homes.

LibrarianX September 21, 2012 at 11:17 am

Silly Egg – politics isn't about fair. Ask your husband.

Toomush_Infer September 21, 2012 at 11:19 am

I'm imagining Mitt in the ring, Marquis of Queensbury stance , his trainer shouting over and over again: "Move your legs, dammit!!!" …maybe it is time for a little doobie….

Thedongsofwar September 21, 2012 at 11:19 am

You know what's hard? Teaching your horse how to dance.

BTWBFDIMHO September 21, 2012 at 11:26 am

Kind of miss Cindy McCain now…No wait.

slowhansolo September 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

"Can't buy me looo-oove, can't buy me looo-oove…"

Chet Kincaid_ September 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

"Egg Egg Egg!!" You know, some of us never watched that damned show.

ottercliff September 21, 2012 at 11:42 am

My Dearest Ann,
Leave the dullard you are married to. Take up with Herman Cain! I just know he'd be receptive. Here's a man who would have won in a landslide.

Barrelhse September 21, 2012 at 11:48 am

No good times, no bad times
There's no times at all
Just the New York Times
Sitting on the windowsill
Near the flowers.

-Paul Simon, "Overs"

owhatever September 21, 2012 at 11:50 am

Egg: Keep talking.

Katydid September 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Ya know, Egg's right, I think….if the Mittster wins, maybe we'll be better. Maybe he'll outsource Mississippi and 'Bama…..that's change I can believe in.

BartStarrland September 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

We will know when women have achieved some measure of gender equity when asshole women can be called assholes right alongside asshole men.

VeraSevera September 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Hey…it was her idea to get the shirts at Costco for Mittens, which he loved very much, and I'm pretty sure the lotion tan for the interview with the Messicans was her idea. Cause Mittens so wants to be Messican, and she's supportive of her husband. I say they put the Lady in Red in charge…

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:55 pm

"I'm pretty sure the lotion tan for the interview with the Messicans was her idea"

Not giving Boehner credit where it's due?
Now you've gone and made him cry.

notanncoulter September 21, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Who keeps handing these people shovels, and why, for the love of all that's… well, something… do they keep grabbing them and digging?!

rickmaci September 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Wow. No sunny up side to Egg.

bobbert September 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

This is what you get when you listen to a coddled Egg.

proudgrampa September 21, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Jesus. That woman gives me the creeps.

cc423 September 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I've got no problem hating this lady.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

"LOOK, ALL OF YOU PEOPLE NEED TO SHUT UP ALREADY AND JUST GIVE MITT HIS CROWN!!"

littlebigdaddy September 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Who's going to play her in the movie? I nominate Amy Poehler.

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Julia Stiles played a perfect sociopath in "The Business of Strangers".

littlebigdaddy September 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

SO if Egg's such a big victim, is she one of the 47%?

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm

*cries with runny eye makeup*
LEAVE MITTNEY ALONE!!

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:37 pm

"We didn't want to be in your stupid club anyway!"
*stomp stomp stomp*

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now"

*tweeeeeeee*rescuing the country from the darkies*tweeeeeeee*

tessiee September 21, 2012 at 1:47 pm

OK, I guess I'd be a crabby bitch, too, if I had an eagle biting my nipple… but DAMN!

Arishii September 21, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I just think it's funny that she's using horse show talk: " This is hard. You want to try it? Get in the ring" Hey, Mrs. Romney, "Shut up and ride!"

valthemus September 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

The thought of that whiny bitch becoming our first lady leaves me so depressed I must spend the next 12 hours watching gay porn just to cheer myself up. Yes, that's the excuse I'm going with.

lochnessmonster September 21, 2012 at 5:06 pm

It is hard work flying around in your own jet and going wherever you please. The mean girl wants YOU PEOPLE to stop being so mean!

kingofmeh September 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

nothing makes you look more presidential than having your wife yell at people and tell them not to be so mean to you.

FajitaFriday September 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm

LEAVE MITTANY ALONE! DO YO HEAR ME! LEAVE HER ALONE! LEAVE MITTANY ALONE!

ttommyunger September 21, 2012 at 11:29 pm

So much for the "Use Ann Sparingly So They Don't Get Tired of Her" idea…

102415 September 22, 2012 at 5:04 am

How come I never see her on a horse? You know who else liked to ride into a ring on a horse?

JohnnyBrooklyn September 22, 2012 at 9:36 am

As a limey, I very much enjoyed the comparisons between the Romneys and Queen Lizzie. I'm hardly a royalist by any stretch but it should be pointed out that Queenie refused to leave England during the blitz even though her life was in considerable danger, and drove an ambulance to help save the lives of others.

I'm sure we can all see the parallels between her sacrifice and that of the Romneys.

irvoh September 22, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Would someone please explain "Egg" nickname for Ann Romney? I don't get it.

FlyOverGirl September 23, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Just now rolling around to this one, but how odd Egg says, After losing the last election, I sent Mittens a video that said never again.

Ummm…don't most people go in the family room and talk? A video, seriously??

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