needs moar gingrich

Yes We Will Live-Bloog Elizabeth Warren Schoolmarming That Dreamy Scott Brown

Or, you know, put on any panties at allHarry Reid has done us all the mitzvah of making sure Scott Brown doesn’t have an excused absence from tonight’s debate with everyone’s favorite schoolmarm, Elizabeth Warren. Also, Reid basically called Brown a coward trying to get out of the debate the way most Republicans got out of Vietnam, and then told him to put on some dry panties and go get on an aeroplane. So we will see you here at 7 p.m. Eastern, presuming this thing will be live-streamed somewhere? (We do not live in Massachusetts.)

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  • nounverb911

    Will Brown be pimping his daughters there?

    • Boojum

      If so, I need to call Delta.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        What, so you can be six hours late and arrive with no luggage?

        • Boojum

          Why yes! Then I will cast myself on the mercy and charity of the Brown daughters, who will dress and feed me and give me a place to lay my weary head.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            You mean after the rest of us have had our turn

          • Boojum

            They seem like they would be quite generous, so certainly. Besides, it wouldn't be fair for me to go first.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I can't promise leftovers.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Damn, always one step ahead!

    • BoroPrimorac

      Does pimping really ever stop?

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Pimping ain't easy but it's necessary

  • The_Bobs

    Brown is planning on taking the swimsuit portion of the debate. Kweschuns is hard.

  • KathrynSane

    Someone on NPR this morning said that Warren needed to make sure she didn't look like the smartest kid in the class.

    Dude. She IS the smartest kid in the class. That's why we like her.

    • JerkCade

      Yes, if there's one thing that turns me off, it's a politician who knows things.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        And: She's nice and cares about people. BIG turnoff in a politician.

    • GregComlish

      Speaking of which, I'm a little surprised Wonkette never seized on Santorum's attack against "Smart People" this week, baldly stating that as Republicans they will never have "Smart People On Our Side"

      http://www.buzzfeed.com/rosiegray/rick-santorum-s

      • commiegirl99

        Because I figured he was saying it sneeringly. And unlike the other side, I don't pretend I don't understand sarcasm when i am hearing it! (I think? Maybe I do do that. I forget.)

        • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

          I think you are giving Frothy too much credit, Becca.

          • commiegirl99

            You guys have convinced me. Good job all! Fuck that guy!

        • anniegetyerfun

          Remember, this is the guy who said that Obama's attempts to send more people to college and vocational schools made him a "snob".

        • Boojum

          No, I grew up with asshats like him. He was quite serious. Infantile, but serious.

        • GregComlish

          He was sneering at smart people, but he wasn't being sarcastic. His sneering was entirely sincere.

        • James Michael Curley

          I have to agree with you because I find it hard to believe he believes the simple meaning of it. I do think he thought he was blowing another of his man-on-dog whistles when he used "smart people" as a code for Harvard Educated East Coast Limousine Liberals, in other words the attack he often used against Romney during the primaries.

      • SorosBot

        I'm surprised to see no mention yet of T-Paw jumping off the sinking bridge of the Romney campaign.

      • noodlesalad

        Never forget: Adlai Stevenson was once told: "All thinking people are on your side!" and he responded – "That's not enough, I need a majority!"

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Lemme guess, was it on "All Things Considered"?

    • rickmaci

      Damn there are just a bunch of high octane women in the Dem party right now. Her, Hilary, Jennifer Granholm, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, FLOTUS, all for starters. I think I hear a glass ceiling starting to make sounds like it's about to break.

      • KathrynSane

        We can only fucking hope.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        Dude, your avatar cracks me up, every time.

      • AncienReggie

        The thing about that glass ceiling, I can see up their dresses. Gonna miss that when the ceiling breaks, so maybe we can get mirrored floors.

    • noodlesalad

      NPR engaging in anti-intellectualism? YARRGH!!!! IT'S OK TO KNOW THINGS PEEPEL. Our founding fathers would be mortified, and not just at the wommin running for senate.

    • Beowoof

      Well we like her, but she is like kryptonite to the republican base.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Can I hope it's green kryptonite?

    • YouBetcha

      What the hell kind of country is this when people are ordered to provide "more derp"? Yeah, I know, "I will vote for a guy as dumb as me that I can have a beer with." Assholes. I'm moving to France.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Will she promise to wear a big ruffled shirt and pull her hair back in a bun with her big librarian glasses?

    Cuz that might make me stay tuned in.

    • wiccanpedia

      Since you'll need to tune in to find out, you might as well stay a while. I'm hoping to watch online- I guess here is where we should go to watch if we're not actually in Mass? http://boston.cbslocal.com/

    • elviouslyqueer

      Or she could truly "school" Scottie with this little ensemble.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        That was sort of the look I had in mind, except I don't think she quite makes her buttons strain like that.

        Wait. Unless you mean the bikini?

      • wapitiscat
        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Yes, that was pretty close to how I imagined it would go.

    • WhatTheHeck

      I hope she has padded shoulders and carries a nun’s ruler.
      Spankings. Yes spankings are called for.

  • Come here a minute

    No, CFPB does not stand for Center Fold Protection Bureau.

  • tihond

    He'll drive his truck through the front of the debate hall to make sure he makes it on time.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Cuz he's Folksy.

    • TribecaMike

      And emerge shouting "Kool-aid!!!"

      • emmelemm

        Isn't the catchphrase "Ohhh, YEAH!" in a deep voice?

  • Baconzgood

    Chicken's shit gotta try to be a chicken and shit.

  • bureaucrap

    Given that Scotty started his career off by NOT having panties, there's no reason for him to start now.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Harry Reid just kicked Mitch McConnell in the nuts on his way to the cafeteria.

    • no_gravity

      Did he retreat back into his shell afterwards?

      • Mittens Howell, III

        heh heh :)

    • anniegetyerfun

      Wow, the thought of that made me WAY to happy. Just the thought of Harry Reid being violent in any way, really.

      • Beowoof

        Former Boxer Reid will be dishing out some left hooks to the republican leadership. And maybe he could stop over at the house and give a couple to Boner and Cantor. I would pay to watch that.

        • Limeylizzie

          I seriously love Harry Reid, because he really seems to despise Mittens. Mormon on Mormon violence is excellent.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Brown: "How many miles does your truck have, Elizabeth?"
    Warren: "Well…"
    Brown: "Exactly!" (double fist pumps)

    • ph7

      "My name is Kenny Powers and I approve this message"

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Warren drives the shitty little car with the big floppy purple dildo taped to the hood.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        A rusty '82 Volvo station wagon, prolly.

  • emmelemm

    "NEEDS MOAR GINGRICH"

    Nope. No. No, it doesn't.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Indeed. We don't give a fig about that Newton.

    • PsycWench

      Nothing needs "more Gingrich", including the Gingriches.

      • emmelemm

        I really, really, really hate Newt Gingrich. He really is a loathsome… well, toad, for lack of a better word.

        Vilifying Bill Clinton for fucking interns while he was FUCKING INTERNS. The hypocrisy is at eleven and climbing.

    • Misty Malarky

      Here's the tricky part!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hmm. I think I'll check and see if Cam Newton can confound the New York Vagiants defense.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I hate him forever, but am so glad he is getting paid by the NFL instead of Auburn now. I do not deny his talent, I just hate him.

  • bureaucrap

    Hopefully, Ms Warren will follow Lois Griffin's example and just answer all questions with "9/11".

    • Beowoof

      I thought that was Rudy's mo.

  • Sassomatic

    He shouldn't be expected to lower himself by debating with a woman.

  • Goonemeritus

    Elizabeth Warren really should eat some lead paint chips before this debate just to make it more sporting.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Lead might be dandy but liquor is quicker.

  • rocktonsam

    granny glasses libel!!1!

    • ph7

      My grandfather is finding this difficult to masturbate to.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Whenever Brown is talking, Warren will be all *cough*Mitt Romney*cough*

  • docterry6973

    Scotty better watch out for Warren's kidney punches or he'll be pissing blood for a week. Cough cough Pussy cough.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Am I the only one that hopes that Warren tears off her glasses, thrown Brown on the floor, and has her way with him?

    • ph7

      Yes.

      • kittensdontlie

        Unless you mean, reaches in his chest , tears out his heart and eats it…then, no.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      the new yorker just had a funny quote about watching richard gere and not watching lloyd blankfein

      that's kinda how i feel about this proposition.

    • vtxmcrider

      She can just sit on his face and tell him to keep lying.

  • rickmaci

    Yah. But WHOSE panties did he put on???

  • Boojum

    I just love Elizabeth Warren. She warms the cockles of my heart and I have no idea what cockles are, but they're warmer.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Well, she warms the heart of my cockles so I'm with you.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I just looked it up! NOT what I was expecting.

      • Boojum

        So she warms my cochleae cordis.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    I got an email from Warren's campaign saying it will be on C-SPAN and CBSBoston.com. Go get 'em, Liz!

    • OzoneTom

      Yes, C-Span stream 3 apparently.

  • sbj1964

    So do you think it was just cold in the studio when they took his centerfold pics?No he's still a little prick.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Since beloved Elizabeth is from Oklahoma, let's be Grateful getting up for the debate.

  • Callyson

    Does anyone know if this will be on C – Span, for those of us who don't live in Mass? I hope so, and I'll make a point of checking.

    Also–GO ELIZABETH!

    ETA: Oh yeah, C – Span is on it!

    http://www.c-spanvideo.org/schedule

  • Poindexter718

    Can Sen. Reid account for his whereabouts on September 11, 1857?
    Was he in the vicinity of Mountain Meadows, Utah?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I hope Warren wipes the floor with him. Um — and then vacuums all the pubes left behind, of course.

  • littlebigdaddy

    I'm looking forward to the hilariously racist Indian jokes about Warren that we will no doubt see. It hurts my eyes too much to look at those sites, but I fully expect our Wonket to make that sacrifice for us!

  • Schmannnity

    The Battle of the Valley of the Dolls: Mrs. Beasley vs. Ken

    • Blueb4sinrise

      It's The Class vs. The Ass in Mass!!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i am so glad i am not not drinking tonight.

  • DahBoner

    Maybe he's still working his way through college by letting people take pictures of his dick?

    Taseful, arty pictures of course…

  • PinkoPopulist

    I still can't believe he tried to hide behind "business of the Senate" as if the Senate actually accomplishes anything! Not to mention the business of any political body has never stopped any candidate for any office from undertaking any activity ever, also, too.

  • Veritas78

    Just a word of caution here, folks, from a local—this is going to be trickier for her than for him.

    She's not going to be able to just ride Obama's coattails in. Her campaign staff has made some tone-deaf mistakes, and it's not yet clear that they've figured out the magic words. Plus, we have Dems who like to vote for a Republican once a decade or so, and a few have pulled the lever for Brown before.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Scott Brown is pretty sure that people of American Indian descent never look basically white. Scott Brown has probably not met many people of American Indian descent, particularly those who live in the Northeast.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    US Chamber of Commerce is an "independent" group. LOL!

  • ttommyunger

    This little lady is more of a man than Scott could ever hope to be, and more of a lady than he dreams of being.