Harry Reid, meanie

Republicans, as we all know, are a scrupulous group with nothing but the utmost respect for the rule of law. They especially get excited about the kinds of laws that are either arbitrary or imaginary, or that only apply to other people. So they are understandably a bit UPSET that Harry Reid broke a non-existent rule on the Senate floor when he said a mean thing about Mitt Romney. They are so upset, in fact, that they have sent a “senior Senate Republican aide” to whine to a typist at The Hill.

[Harry] Reid pounced on Romney on Wednesday for remarks he made earlier this year characterizing “47 percent” of the nation as people who believe they are victims and who rely on government handouts. […]

“He’s campaigning on the Senate floor. It’s the taxpayer-funded Senate floor. The speech had nothing to do with the Senate. It was a pure campaign speech. You couldn’t give it in the rotunda. You couldn’t give it in my office. It’s a taxpayer-funded building,” said a senior Senate Republican aide.

Oh TOTALLY this is a fair point, and Harry Reid should elevate his level of discourse to that of say, John Boehner (R-Bonerland)  and cry about problems that don’t exist (and handed out lobbyist checks on the floor to boot), or Dick Cheney, who told Senator Leahy to fuck himself on the Senate floor. And where would we all be without Randy Neugebauer (R-Asshole) shouting “baby killer” at Bart Stupak while he pontificated about the health care bill? And we at Wonkette feel much freer now that Senator Orrin Hatch has accused the Obama administration of siding with the far-left to take away our God-given religious freedom (no, not the kind that permits the building of mosques in Murfeesborough, the kind that allows us to tell women what to do.) This would surely be an improvement over discussing income inequality and  the fairness of the tax code!

A federal law known as the Hatch Act prohibits federal employees from engaging in partisan political activity while on duty, in a federal facility or while using federal property…But this restriction has been largely interpreted as a ban on receiving or soliciting campaign contributions in Senate buildings.

Robert Dove, who served as Senate parliamentarian from 1981 to 1987 and from 1995 to 2001, said there are few restrictions on what senators can say on the floor.

“There are only two things you cannot say on the Senate floor: You cannot criticize another state in the union and you cannot impute to any senator any action unbecoming to a senator,” said Dove, who also served as legislative consultant to former Senate Republican Leader Bob Dole (Kan.). “Everything else is open and allowed.”

We are sad that you cannot criticize another state in the union, because what else can you do about places like Mississippi or Louisiana. However, we are excited that everything else is “open and allowed.” Did you know, for example, that when you Google “Senate floor bill,” it tries to autofill “Senate floor beatings”? This, apparently is not forbidden by the Hatch Act and would probably be an improvement over the level of discourse we see currently.

[The Hill]

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  • We are sad that you cannot criticize another state in the union, because what else can you do about places like Mississippi or Louisiana.

    "The great states of Mississippi and Louisiana contribute to America having fifty states!"

    • elviouslyqueer

      "The chair recognizes the shit-smearing utter screaming fuckbucket from the great state of Louisiana."

      • Boojum

        How is that a criticism, under the circumstances?

        • Negropolis

          It's not. That was the joke. lol

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        FuckBucket has a commendable alliteration to it.

        • MosesInvests

          Assonance, actually.

          • Heh, heh… he said "ass."

          • Nibbler of Niblonia

            all alliteration is assonance. but not all assonance is alliteration.

          • tessiee


      • Blueb4sinrise

        Oh no, more chair jokes.

      • MosesInvests

        Supposedly a real exchange from the British Parliament:
        "The right honorable gentleman has the manners of a pig."
        -"BOO! RETRACT!"
        "I retract that last statement. The right honorable gentleman *hasn't* the manners of a pig."

        • Nibbler of Niblonia

          I would compare the Romney campaign to a pigfuck. But that would be offensive. To people who fuck pigs.

        • caitifty

          A real pair of front page headlines in the town of Gwalia, Western Australia in the 1920s: "Half the council are idiots!". After demands to retract, equally large front page headline: "Half the council are not idiots!"

        • tessiee

          Letter from the old "national Lampoon" letters column:

          "Because of Mr. Buckley's objections, I must retract my earlier statement that "William F. Buckley is a supercilious, scum-sucking jackass who is not fit to host the bacteria that swim in his bladder"."

    • Terry

      Louisiana: Mardi Gras. Gumbo. Catfish courtboullion. Crawfish etouffe. Crawfish pistolette. Muffaletta. Sunrise on the Atchafalaya Delta. Festivals Acadiens. Hot beignets and chickory coffee on a chilly morning.

      Mississippi: Fried catfish done right. George Ohr, The Mad Potter of Biloxi.

      • So basically nothing we couldn't get by dumbing down Florida and Alabama.

        • bikerlaureate

          There is an impossibility in your suggestion.
          Identifying it is left as an exercise for the reader.

        • Terry

          I would agree that you can get most of the best of Mississippi in the Panhandle of Florida (except George Ohr). Louisiana stands as unique, though. It's the best and worst of everything with absolutely no middle ground.

          • Doktor Zoom

            Lathe of Heaven Libel!

            George Orr is from Portland, not Louisiana!

          • Terry

            George E. Ohr, of Biloxi, Mississippi. Crazy ass genius with pottery.

      • emmelemm

        Hot beignets and chickory coffee….

        {le sigh}

      • chicken_thief

        Louisiana sounds very cheese eating surrender monkey-ish for a redneck state.

        • PubOption

          The surrender monkeys did own it for a time, but they were overcome with the spirit of Bain, so they sold it off.

        • sullivanst

          Yes, I'm surprised they have yet to rename their state capitol "Red Stick".

        • finette_

          It's just about exactly 1/3 Protestant redneck, 1/3 Catholic Frenchy, 1/3 Protestant blahs. And Bobby Jindal.

          Fun fact: if all the registered Democrats actually voted Democratic all the time, it would be a blue state. But a lot of them are old school southern Democrats who never bothered to change their registered party.

      • Lazy Media

        Word: Tell me three similarly good things about, say, New Jersey, New Hampshire or Delaware. Without NYC, New York is a bunch of hateful hicks and real estate whores.

        • Terry

          Delaware: Tax free shopping, chickens, ship and barge registration.

          New Jersey: Italian food that's the best in the US (suck it NY), farms and seafood in the central and southern parts of the State. The Pine Barrens and the crazy rednecks that live there.

          New Hampshire: Lovely landscape. Goddamn ridge runners who won't pay taxes but feel free to come across the border and use the resources of other states when they need help. Cheap liquor.

          • sullivanst

            DE: Joe Biden. Also too.

          • doloras

            My brother lives in Delaware so he's not here annoying me.

        • "Without NYC…" is a little like saying, I dunno, "Without Peyton Manning…"

        • tessiee

          "Tell me three similarly good things about, say, New Jersey"

          People in heaven: "Did you hear the new group that just got here? They're complaining that the pizza isn't as good as what they had at home",
          Bruce Springsteen,
          $: – D

        • fatbob54

          New Jersey:
          A fast road to get through it.
          The Jersey Devil can kick Bigfoot's ass

          New Hampshire:
          Maple Syrup
          Fall Foliage
          "Ya can't get they-ah from Hee-ah, ya got ta go to potsmuth, fist."

        • fatbob54

          A fast boat ride to New Jersey for future presidents
          Dr. Jill Biden
          It ahh…. doesn't smell as bad as Jersey…

        • Negropolis

          Buffalo, Rochester, Albany, etc…fuckin' libel! I know you are Captain Dixie and all, but come on.

      • tessiee

        "Mississippi: Fried catfish done right. George Ohr, The Mad Potter of Biloxi. "

        Too many great blues musicians to list, and the name "Sunflower County".

        • RALitherland

          On the downside, a distressing tendency (shared by Louisiana) to throw said bluesmen in jail.

      • kingofmeh

        i think jazz and william faulkner should get both states off the hook for a while.

    • WhatTheHeck

      "The great states of Mississippi and Louisiana contribute to America having fifty states!"

      They also hang like the seedy underbelly to the other states.

      • tessiee

        As do their underbellies.

    • ChapterUndVerse

      And to keeping everyone else in the other upper 48.

  • slapping or fapping? big difference

    • Estproph

      This is where "Senate floor beatings" comes in. Either way.

  • Politics stop at the edge of Boehner's eye-water.

  • ChernobylSoup

    The Hatch Act means I have to take the Obama magnet off my car whenever I travel on state business. This has probably saved my life on more than one jaunt deep into rural Arkansas.

    • I thought that was the Hatchback Act. Applying only to AMC vehicles.

    • finallyhappy

      I worked for the government in a non-government owned building and parked in a non-subsidized private garage under our building during the last election.. Some ahole sent a message around last time saying we could not have political stickers on our cars because we worked for the gov't in a gov't building(great admin lawyer didn't know we were not in a Federal building). It didn't take long to explain in "plain" English that I could have whatever I wanted on my car- that was not used for gov't business and was in a private garage.

    • Negropolis

      I've never put a magnet or sticked on any car I've ever owned. It's just too dangerous. Forget it Jake; it's America.

  • ph7

    What is this country coming to when politics are injected into congressional debates?

  • Ducksworthy

    If the residents of Mississippi and Louisiana were ever to realize that they are the 47% they might change their behavior, i.e. resume lynching.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Ah, but they'd be lynching a better class of people.

      With votes, of course.

    • tessiee

      yeah, but the problem is that they wouldn't be lynching the people responsible for their plight.

  • Sen. Reid should have just shouted out "You Lie!" as that is perfectly acceptable to do on the floors of Congress.

    • chicken_thief

      Acceptable only if you shout it to a blah Preznit. Otherwise, respect for the office.

  • !magine that, someone who campaigns on their core beliefs… SHOCKING!

  • when you Google “Senate floor bill,” it tries to autofill “Senate floor beatings

    I'm not even gonna tell ya what you'll get when you peck out the words "Mississippi" and "god" in teh google machine.

    • Boojum

      Goat fucking?

    • goddam. Nina Simone is to Mississippi what Neil Young is to Alabama.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Yes, the GOP is also known as "The Party of Decorum."

  • Fucking GOPer crybabies. Always running home to mommy.

    • Radiotherapy

      Bully, victim, bully, victim….seamlessly and ad infinatum.

      • What's funny is after you get mad or hit back or make them cry, they go all "What did I DO?!!??!"

  • EatsBabyDingos

    The National Socialists of the GOP would like to change the slogan to "Give 'em Heil, Harry."

  • no_gravity

    This was just the moment that republicans were hoping for to quell the whole 47% debacle.

  • ChernobylSoup

    "You couldn’t give it in the rotunda. You couldn’t give it in my office. It’s a taxpayer-funded building," said a senior Senate Republican aide.

    This person advises Republican lawmakers.

  • MacRaith

    But, of course, interrupting a presidential address to shout "You lie!" is perfectly OK.

    Except when the president is a Republican. Then it's treason to do anything but praise him in the most effusive words possible.

  • AlterNewt

    Role models.

  • Baconzgood

    Tex-Ass is Poopie Ka-ka

    -Bob Casey, Jr. (D-PA)-

  • Fox n Fiends

    Why is Harry Reid the only Senator to keep shitting on Mitty? They all should be doing this, daily.

    • no_gravity

      I think it's a whole Saints thing and Harry's got the goods on Mitt.

    • NellCote71

      Mild Harry certainly does seem to have a personal vendetta against Rmoney Boo Boo.

      • emmelemm

        Bless his heart.

        And I do mean that sincerely.

    • Negropolis

      'Cause family can do that.

  • [Republicans] say Reid, who in July accused Romney of not paying taxes for a period of 12 years, has engaged in political activity that would violate federal rules if not for the Speech and Debate clause of the Constitution.

    And I'd be flying if it wasn't for gravity. How is that even a fucking argument?

    • Boojum

      I'd be flying, WITH gravity, if Editrix would share!

    • emmelemm

      Ok, that actually made me laugh.

      If it weren't for gravity, we'd all be flying. Into space, where we'd suffocate and/or explode from the inside out and/or freeze to death.

      • sullivanst

        And even if we grabbed onto something so we didn't fly off, we'd still suffocate and/or explode from the inside out, on account of the atmosphere having drifted away into space.

        Freezing probably wouldn't immediately be a problem, as the sudden release of of the containing pressure of the literal weight of the world would probably cause the planet to explode in a supereruption, which might or might not be complete by the time the superheated remnants of what used to be the sun before it too exploded washed over us. Then after that, it would get very cold.

    • Guppy

      violate… the Speech and Debate clause of the Constitution.

      How does a Senator speaking on the Senate floor violate a clause that says "Senators can say any damn thing they please on the Senate floor?"


  • sbj1964

    Yes the floor of the Senate is sacred ground.It's only for fucking the American people.Have some decency Sir.

    • Boojum

      Senate floor burn libel!!!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Stripping Americans of their God given rights, codifying torture or retroactively enabling illegal wiretaps on large swaths of the population? A-OK.

      Mentioning that a Republican made a complete ass of himself by denigrating half the country as subhuman? FiftyHitlers!

      Got it.

    • bikerlaureate

      You mean nonincorporated Amercians, right?

  • sullivanst

    Oh, now Republicans are worried about the Hatch Act (I take it Orrin will not be engaging in any political activities during his re-election campaign?), but where were their concerns when, for example, Chris Christie was openly campaign for office using DOJ resources and time while still the US Attorney for New Jersey?

  • But when Dems complain about this, it's an attack on the 1st Amendment, right?

  • Poindexter718

    The senior GOP senate aide feigning high dudgeon clearly never heard of the unwritten exemption in teh unwritten rules of decorum for Mormon-on-Mormon skullfeckery.

  • wiccanpedia


    Yup, it's naptime…

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Fucking babies.

  • rickmaci

    They are getting beaten senseless on the campaign trail by the moronic stuff said by Twitt Romoney. They are about to hemorrhage seats in the Senate. Harry Reid will remain in control of the Senate. Four more years of Joe Binden smirking down on their asshat stupidity. Of course they do the one thing they can do, go crying like two year olds to their media nannies. You can always tell bullies by how they run away when somebody stands up to them and fights back. Keep pounding Harry.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “He’s campaigning on the Senate floor. It’s the taxpayer-funded Senate floor. The speech had nothing to do with the Senate. It was a pure campaign speech. You couldn’t give it in the rotunda. You couldn’t give it in my office. It’s a taxpayer-funded building,” said a senior Senate Republican aide.

    My god, man!

    Quick – someone call the Wahhhh-mbulance!

  • Harry Reid has gone rogue!
    Give him a sternly worded letter!
    (clutches pearls.)

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Romney Boo Boo.

    • CthuNHu

      Money Boo Boo.

      Or perhaps Money Boo Hoo.

      • tessiee

        Both, in rapid alternation.

      • Negropolis

        Money Badger don't give a shit.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It's a sad day for America when Mormons can't bitch-slap each other silly publicly on the floor of the Senate.

    • Negropolis

      Whatever happened to Southern hospitality? Canings or GTFO.

  • Goonemeritus

    If Obama succeeds in limiting our religious freedom what the hell am I going to do with all these snakes I raised for handling?

  • Lucidamente1

    Fee fees, hurt; see Response to criticism, Republican.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    The Senate floor is architecturally designed for a good old ball-kicking. Go Harry!

  • sbj1964

    The Senate should be like ThunderDome.Two parties enter one party leaves.It would make Cspan worth watching.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Nah, all that slapping and hair pulling would get embarrassing.

      • sbj1964

        Yeah ,but each one of them would have to have a midget on their shoulders.And we can get Mel Gibson to Host the fight.

  • PinkoPopulist

    Stupid poors in the democratic party…don't they know that campaigning is properly done at $50,000 per plate fundraisers?

    • MosesInvests

      In quiet rooms.

      • bikerlaureate

        With all of the wait staff thoroughly patted down for cameraphones.

    • Negropolis

      I hate to kill the snark, but our president and his party aren't exactly foreign to the idea of $50,000-a-plate fundraisers.

      • PinkoPopulist

        Fucking nouveau riche. Might as well be poors.

    • Stevola

      It's the Democrat party. Get it right.

  • Oh, my sainted aunt!

  • Beowoof

    Why my goodness what a bunch lily livered cowards. They can go back to their recent leader and get the words, "Go fuck yourself".

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Romney's foreign policy briefings are currently focused on listing translations for "Wambulance" in every language.

  • Boojum

    Speech and Derp Clause only applies to Republicans, because derp.


  • Limeylizzie

    Our Mormon is better than their Mormon.

    • nirrti_rachelle

      I think you accidentally inserted an extra "m" in that…

    • CthuNHu

      Where is your Moron now?!?

      Okay, okay, so we know the answer is "hyperventilating into a brown paper bag while Ann pats him on the back and assures him that really, people do love him, they just get a little confused whenever they talk to pollsters because of the meth and the bathtub gin and the reefer and all those other things they ingest to distract them from the horror of their lazy and irresponsible lives."

    • Theywontlisten

      There's nothing like Mormon on Mormon crime

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Not classy Harry, not classy.

    • Negropolis

      And, if the Senate is known for anything, it's its class, right?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I knew they ran for seats in the Senate, didn't realize half of them are fainting couches.

  • RedStatePinko

    That's Murfreesboro, not "borough," you elitist Yankee scum! Down heah, we'uns understand that the bestest part of the first amendment is the freedom to impose our views and prejudices on others.

    • shelwood46

      In New Jersey, it's generally "borough", as well as the municipalities known as boroughs. Someone at the State got the brilliant idea that if they made it a rule that it had to be spelled on all signs as "boro" it would save the letter charge for the "ugh". They then ordered that all the hundreds of signs statewide with or containing "borough" be immediately replaced with brand new signs that said "boro". Which saved them millions of negative dollars. Chris Christie, working for you!

    • Negropolis

      But "Murfreesboro" sounds like a bastardization in both parts of its name. Why couldn't it just have been Murphysborough?

  • ChrisM2011

    Aren't these the same cock knockers that actually had a serious investigation (at the taxpayers expense of course!) of the Clinton's cat, Socks? Yeah, fuck those guys.

  • today we are all fox toasted marshmallows.

  • There are only two things you cannot say on the Senate floor: You cannot criticize another state in the union. Even if it's fucking Texas. The other thing is whatever Reid said.

  • kittensdontlie

    The speech had nothing to do with the Senate.

    Those 47 percenters will have to go elsewhere to have greivances redressed.

    • sullivanst

      Of course, no Republican has ever abused the Senate's conspicuous absence of a germaneness requirement for debate (outside of post-cloture periods). No, they'd never do that.

  • Come here a minute

    It would be really helpful if a Republican senator would come to the floor and explain whether Mitt Romney believes that 47 percent of Americans are freeloading moochers or if he thinks that 47 percent of Americans are mooching freeloaders.

    • tessiee

      Possibility 3: Mitt Romney is a vapid blank without a thought in his head who bashed 47% of americans because he was ass-licking his corporate masters, and that's what they wanted to hear.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    from bullies to victims in the blink of an eye- makes your head spin…

  • prommie

    The Constitution says that anything said on the floor of the house or senate is absolutely privileged. Take your fucking Hatch Act, whiny republican, and shove it up your whiny fucking ass. Dumbfuck fucking moronic idiot.

  • Slim_Pickins

    No better topic for manufactured rage, today?

  • AddHomonym

    You can't criticize another state but you can holler all you want, apparently, about "Chicago-style politics" or "San Francisco values."

    • Negropolis

      Can we have our own slurs like "Kentucky fuckery" and "Charleston Harbor-style politics"?

  • poorgradstudent

    Why do contemporary Republicans remind me of those annoying kids in elementary school you'd play tag with who'd make up new "rules" like crying "I'm in a safe spot!" when they're about to lose?

    • Generation[redacted]

      My favorite was calling "Time out!" when I'm about to lose, moving to a more favorable position, then calling "Time in!"

      • poorgradstudent

        Oh God, that too!

        Also there were the kids who'd say they were "invisible," which I'm sure made sense in stupid kid logic.

    • MosesInvests


    • tessiee

      Because they're using the same tactics, with the same level of maturity.

  • A federal law known as the Hatch Act prohibits federal employees from engaging in partisan political activity while on duty, in a federal facility or while using federal property…

    Karl Rove and company shredded the Hatch Act.

    Lurita Doan, anyone?

  • i hope ann romney does not approve.

  • alzronnie

    Bitches cry when they are slapped.

  • bikerlaureate

    The Republican Senators are so upset that they can't get anything important done.

    This, of course, is Obama's fault.

  • qwerty42

    As the Romney campaign circles the drain, I'd expect lots more whiny calls to news outlets followed by the formation of circular firing squads. After the 2008 election, the Republicans had an effort (hugely mocked by our Wonkette) to find out what they should do (I cannot find the link, darn). As I recall, one suggestion was "Needz moar ghey"

  • also, it's not a real contest until someone gives little lord ryan a wedgie.

  • sullivanst

    Someone really ought to point out to the Republidiots that the Hatch Act only covers executive branch employees (and not all of those), of which Harry Reid is not one.

  • MissNancyPriss

    It's a Mormon thang.

  • crybabyboehner

    What happens when two Mormons fight? CLOWN QUESTION BRO !!!

    • Negropolis

      I'm surprised FOX hasn't picked up "When Mormons Attack" for another season.

  • CindynEncinitas

    “Senate floor beatings”
    What, like it Texas? WTF? Pretty soon we'll have no freedoms at all!

  • chicken_thief

    A time or two a year Harry grows a pair and does what he should be doing every fucking day and these rare occurrences induce hissy fits in the GOP? Pfft…. pussies. But now I suppose we'll have to put up with Boner crying, Canter looking all squeamish like he might just have shit himself a little, and Mitch wobbling his turkey neck all over the teevees for a few days as they air their indignation at this non-offense.

  • DahBoner

    On the bright side, they can still talk shit about Puerto Rico, because not a state…

  • oenspiek

    Since Mittens isn't a fellow Senator, by Senate rules, Harry Reid can say anything about him he pleases on the Senate floor. And that pesky thing, the Constitution, turns out to have bits in it that aren't about guns or Jeebus.

    Dig that for what it is, rthugs.

  • iTuna

    Also, Harry Reid just shut down Senate activities for the rest of the day because Scott Brown was dodging tonight's debate.

    Senator Scott Brown raised the possibility he might miss tonight’s lead-off debate with Elizabeth Warren because of the Senate voting schedule, before Democratic leaders challenged that assertion and Brown himself headed to the airport for a flight back to Boston.

    “We have no more votes today. No more votes today. It’s obvious to me what’s going on,” Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, the top Democrat in the chamber, said on the Senate floor. “I’ve been to a few of these rodeos. It is obvious there is a big stall taking place. One of the senators who had a debate tonight doesn’t want to debate. Well, he can’t use the Senate as an excuse. There will be no more votes today.”

    • MissNancyPriss

      Thanks for the info. They are literally unbelievable.

  • NellCote71

    I realize it is the House and not the Senate, but where were her denouncers when Michele Bachmann launched her jihad against the State Department? Or when Allen West says at least 70 members of Congress are Communists? Clutch your pearls, Auntie GOP, indeed.

  • Guppy

    a senior Senate Republican aide

    Is that what McConnell is calling himself these days?

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    "You people" just don't understand.
    When Republicans bad mouth the President on the floor of the Senate, it's doing the countries business, cause he's the President, you see.
    Mitt is not the President, so you can't talk about him.

  • I'm just gonna leave this here for any pussy GOP senators who wander into Wonkette by accident while trolling for tentacle porn.

  • tessiee

    Just FYI, "vapors" does not actually mean "an attack of the farts".

  • Uniprober

    When a Dem wins he is expected to come to the middle. When a Puggie wins, he expects surrender.

  • ttommyunger

    Squinty-eyed Mormon Bitch disses pasty-faced Mormon Bitch…..Yawn!

  • DustBowlBlues

    I've told the Old Man that the next time he criticizes Harry Reid for being a wimp of a Majority Leader, I'm going to download parental controls to the computer.

  • Negropolis

    There are only two things you cannot say on the Senate floor: You cannot criticize another state in the union…

    Are you kidding me? Fuck that; they would have had to remove me from the Senate floor on a whole number of occassions, most of them probably having to do with Texas.

  • Negropolis

    Our Congress hasn't been the same since we outlawed public beatings.

    Gutta-percha or GTFO.

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