but not with a cane

GOP Has Vapors Over Harry Reid Slapping Mitt Romney On Senate Floor

Harry Reid, meanie

Republicans, as we all know, are a scrupulous group with nothing but the utmost respect for the rule of law. They especially get excited about the kinds of laws that are either arbitrary or imaginary, or that only apply to other people. So they are understandably a bit UPSET that Harry Reid broke a non-existent rule on the Senate floor when he said a mean thing about Mitt Romney. They are so upset, in fact, that they have sent a “senior Senate Republican aide” to whine to a typist at The Hill.

[Harry] Reid pounced on Romney on Wednesday for remarks he made earlier this year characterizing “47 percent” of the nation as people who believe they are victims and who rely on government handouts. […]

“He’s campaigning on the Senate floor. It’s the taxpayer-funded Senate floor. The speech had nothing to do with the Senate. It was a pure campaign speech. You couldn’t give it in the rotunda. You couldn’t give it in my office. It’s a taxpayer-funded building,” said a senior Senate Republican aide.

Oh TOTALLY this is a fair point, and Harry Reid should elevate his level of discourse to that of say, John Boehner (R-Bonerland)  and cry about problems that don’t exist (and handed out lobbyist checks on the floor to boot), or Dick Cheney, who told Senator Leahy to fuck himself on the Senate floor. And where would we all be without Randy Neugebauer (R-Asshole) shouting “baby killer” at Bart Stupak while he pontificated about the health care bill? And we at Wonkette feel much freer now that Senator Orrin Hatch has accused the Obama administration of siding with the far-left to take away our God-given religious freedom (no, not the kind that permits the building of mosques in Murfeesborough, the kind that allows us to tell women what to do.) This would surely be an improvement over discussing income inequality and  the fairness of the tax code!

A federal law known as the Hatch Act prohibits federal employees from engaging in partisan political activity while on duty, in a federal facility or while using federal property…But this restriction has been largely interpreted as a ban on receiving or soliciting campaign contributions in Senate buildings.

Robert Dove, who served as Senate parliamentarian from 1981 to 1987 and from 1995 to 2001, said there are few restrictions on what senators can say on the floor.

“There are only two things you cannot say on the Senate floor: You cannot criticize another state in the union and you cannot impute to any senator any action unbecoming to a senator,” said Dove, who also served as legislative consultant to former Senate Republican Leader Bob Dole (Kan.). “Everything else is open and allowed.”

We are sad that you cannot criticize another state in the union, because what else can you do about places like Mississippi or Louisiana. However, we are excited that everything else is “open and allowed.” Did you know, for example, that when you Google “Senate floor bill,” it tries to autofill “Senate floor beatings”? This, apparently is not forbidden by the Hatch Act and would probably be an improvement over the level of discourse we see currently.

[The Hill]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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  1. actor212

    We are sad that you cannot criticize another state in the union, because what else can you do about places like Mississippi or Louisiana.

    "The great states of Mississippi and Louisiana contribute to America having fifty states!"

    1. elviouslyqueer

      "The chair recognizes the shit-smearing utter screaming fuckbucket from the great state of Louisiana."

      1. MosesInvests

        Supposedly a real exchange from the British Parliament:
        "The right honorable gentleman has the manners of a pig."
        -"BOO! RETRACT!"
        "I retract that last statement. The right honorable gentleman *hasn't* the manners of a pig."

        1. Nibbler of Niblonia

          I would compare the Romney campaign to a pigfuck. But that would be offensive. To people who fuck pigs.

        2. caitifty

          A real pair of front page headlines in the town of Gwalia, Western Australia in the 1920s: "Half the council are idiots!". After demands to retract, equally large front page headline: "Half the council are not idiots!"

        3. tessiee

          Letter from the old "national Lampoon" letters column:

          "Because of Mr. Buckley's objections, I must retract my earlier statement that "William F. Buckley is a supercilious, scum-sucking jackass who is not fit to host the bacteria that swim in his bladder"."

    2. Terry

      Louisiana: Mardi Gras. Gumbo. Catfish courtboullion. Crawfish etouffe. Crawfish pistolette. Muffaletta. Sunrise on the Atchafalaya Delta. Festivals Acadiens. Hot beignets and chickory coffee on a chilly morning.

      Mississippi: Fried catfish done right. George Ohr, The Mad Potter of Biloxi.

        1. Terry

          I would agree that you can get most of the best of Mississippi in the Panhandle of Florida (except George Ohr). Louisiana stands as unique, though. It's the best and worst of everything with absolutely no middle ground.

        1. PubOption

          The surrender monkeys did own it for a time, but they were overcome with the spirit of Bain, so they sold it off.

        2. finette_

          It's just about exactly 1/3 Protestant redneck, 1/3 Catholic Frenchy, 1/3 Protestant blahs. And Bobby Jindal.

          Fun fact: if all the registered Democrats actually voted Democratic all the time, it would be a blue state. But a lot of them are old school southern Democrats who never bothered to change their registered party.

      1. Lazy Media

        Word: Tell me three similarly good things about, say, New Jersey, New Hampshire or Delaware. Without NYC, New York is a bunch of hateful hicks and real estate whores.

        1. Terry

          Delaware: Tax free shopping, chickens, ship and barge registration.

          New Jersey: Italian food that's the best in the US (suck it NY), farms and seafood in the central and southern parts of the State. The Pine Barrens and the crazy rednecks that live there.

          New Hampshire: Lovely landscape. Goddamn ridge runners who won't pay taxes but feel free to come across the border and use the resources of other states when they need help. Cheap liquor.

        2. tessiee

          "Tell me three similarly good things about, say, New Jersey"

          People in heaven: "Did you hear the new group that just got here? They're complaining that the pizza isn't as good as what they had at home",
          Bruce Springsteen,
          $: – D

        3. fatbob54

          New Jersey:
          A fast road to get through it.
          The Jersey Devil can kick Bigfoot's ass

          New Hampshire:
          Maple Syrup
          Fall Foliage
          "Ya can't get they-ah from Hee-ah, ya got ta go to potsmuth, fist."

        4. fatbob54

          A fast boat ride to New Jersey for future presidents
          Dr. Jill Biden
          It ahh…. doesn't smell as bad as Jersey…

      2. tessiee

        "Mississippi: Fried catfish done right. George Ohr, The Mad Potter of Biloxi. "

        Too many great blues musicians to list, and the name "Sunflower County".

    3. WhatTheHeck

      "The great states of Mississippi and Louisiana contribute to America having fifty states!"

      They also hang like the seedy underbelly to the other states.

  2. ChernobylSoup

    The Hatch Act means I have to take the Obama magnet off my car whenever I travel on state business. This has probably saved my life on more than one jaunt deep into rural Arkansas.

    1. finallyhappy

      I worked for the government in a non-government owned building and parked in a non-subsidized private garage under our building during the last election.. Some ahole sent a message around last time saying we could not have political stickers on our cars because we worked for the gov't in a gov't building(great admin lawyer didn't know we were not in a Federal building). It didn't take long to explain in "plain" English that I could have whatever I wanted on my car- that was not used for gov't business and was in a private garage.

    2. Negropolis

      I've never put a magnet or sticked on any car I've ever owned. It's just too dangerous. Forget it Jake; it's America.

  3. Ducksworthy

    If the residents of Mississippi and Louisiana were ever to realize that they are the 47% they might change their behavior, i.e. resume lynching.

  4. Mumbletypeg

    when you Google “Senate floor bill,” it tries to autofill “Senate floor beatings

    I'm not even gonna tell ya what you'll get when you peck out the words "Mississippi" and "god" in teh google machine.

  5. ChernobylSoup

    "You couldn’t give it in the rotunda. You couldn’t give it in my office. It’s a taxpayer-funded building," said a senior Senate Republican aide.

    This person advises Republican lawmakers.

  6. MacRaith

    But, of course, interrupting a presidential address to shout "You lie!" is perfectly OK.

    Except when the president is a Republican. Then it's treason to do anything but praise him in the most effusive words possible.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    [Republicans] say Reid, who in July accused Romney of not paying taxes for a period of 12 years, has engaged in political activity that would violate federal rules if not for the Speech and Debate clause of the Constitution.

    And I'd be flying if it wasn't for gravity. How is that even a fucking argument?

    1. emmelemm

      Ok, that actually made me laugh.

      If it weren't for gravity, we'd all be flying. Into space, where we'd suffocate and/or explode from the inside out and/or freeze to death.

      1. sullivanst

        And even if we grabbed onto something so we didn't fly off, we'd still suffocate and/or explode from the inside out, on account of the atmosphere having drifted away into space.

        Freezing probably wouldn't immediately be a problem, as the sudden release of of the containing pressure of the literal weight of the world would probably cause the planet to explode in a supereruption, which might or might not be complete by the time the superheated remnants of what used to be the sun before it too exploded washed over us. Then after that, it would get very cold.

    2. Guppy

      violate… the Speech and Debate clause of the Constitution.

      How does a Senator speaking on the Senate floor violate a clause that says "Senators can say any damn thing they please on the Senate floor?"


  8. sbj1964

    Yes the floor of the Senate is sacred ground.It's only for fucking the American people.Have some decency Sir.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Stripping Americans of their God given rights, codifying torture or retroactively enabling illegal wiretaps on large swaths of the population? A-OK.

      Mentioning that a Republican made a complete ass of himself by denigrating half the country as subhuman? FiftyHitlers!

      Got it.

  9. sullivanst

    Oh, now Republicans are worried about the Hatch Act (I take it Orrin will not be engaging in any political activities during his re-election campaign?), but where were their concerns when, for example, Chris Christie was openly campaign for office using DOJ resources and time while still the US Attorney for New Jersey?

  10. Poindexter718

    The senior GOP senate aide feigning high dudgeon clearly never heard of the unwritten exemption in teh unwritten rules of decorum for Mormon-on-Mormon skullfeckery.

  11. rickmaci

    They are getting beaten senseless on the campaign trail by the moronic stuff said by Twitt Romoney. They are about to hemorrhage seats in the Senate. Harry Reid will remain in control of the Senate. Four more years of Joe Binden smirking down on their asshat stupidity. Of course they do the one thing they can do, go crying like two year olds to their media nannies. You can always tell bullies by how they run away when somebody stands up to them and fights back. Keep pounding Harry.

  12. Oblios_Cap

    “He’s campaigning on the Senate floor. It’s the taxpayer-funded Senate floor. The speech had nothing to do with the Senate. It was a pure campaign speech. You couldn’t give it in the rotunda. You couldn’t give it in my office. It’s a taxpayer-funded building,” said a senior Senate Republican aide.

    My god, man!

    Quick – someone call the Wahhhh-mbulance!

  13. Oblios_Cap

    It's a sad day for America when Mormons can't bitch-slap each other silly publicly on the floor of the Senate.

  14. Goonemeritus

    If Obama succeeds in limiting our religious freedom what the hell am I going to do with all these snakes I raised for handling?

  15. sbj1964

    The Senate should be like ThunderDome.Two parties enter one party leaves.It would make Cspan worth watching.

      1. sbj1964

        Yeah ,but each one of them would have to have a midget on their shoulders.And we can get Mel Gibson to Host the fight.

  16. PinkoPopulist

    Stupid poors in the democratic party…don't they know that campaigning is properly done at $50,000 per plate fundraisers?

    1. Negropolis

      I hate to kill the snark, but our president and his party aren't exactly foreign to the idea of $50,000-a-plate fundraisers.

  17. Beowoof

    Why my goodness what a bunch lily livered cowards. They can go back to their recent leader and get the words, "Go fuck yourself".

  18. Mittens Howell, III

    Romney's foreign policy briefings are currently focused on listing translations for "Wambulance" in every language.

    1. CthuNHu

      Where is your Moron now?!?

      Okay, okay, so we know the answer is "hyperventilating into a brown paper bag while Ann pats him on the back and assures him that really, people do love him, they just get a little confused whenever they talk to pollsters because of the meth and the bathtub gin and the reefer and all those other things they ingest to distract them from the horror of their lazy and irresponsible lives."

  19. RedStatePinko

    That's Murfreesboro, not "borough," you elitist Yankee scum! Down heah, we'uns understand that the bestest part of the first amendment is the freedom to impose our views and prejudices on others.

    1. shelwood46

      In New Jersey, it's generally "borough", as well as the municipalities known as boroughs. Someone at the State got the brilliant idea that if they made it a rule that it had to be spelled on all signs as "boro" it would save the letter charge for the "ugh". They then ordered that all the hundreds of signs statewide with or containing "borough" be immediately replaced with brand new signs that said "boro". Which saved them millions of negative dollars. Chris Christie, working for you!

    2. Negropolis

      But "Murfreesboro" sounds like a bastardization in both parts of its name. Why couldn't it just have been Murphysborough?

  20. ChrisM2011

    Aren't these the same cock knockers that actually had a serious investigation (at the taxpayers expense of course!) of the Clinton's cat, Socks? Yeah, fuck those guys.

  21. DerrickWildcat

    There are only two things you cannot say on the Senate floor: You cannot criticize another state in the union. Even if it's fucking Texas. The other thing is whatever Reid said.

  22. kittensdontlie

    The speech had nothing to do with the Senate.

    Those 47 percenters will have to go elsewhere to have greivances redressed.

    1. sullivanst

      Of course, no Republican has ever abused the Senate's conspicuous absence of a germaneness requirement for debate (outside of post-cloture periods). No, they'd never do that.

  23. Come here a minute

    It would be really helpful if a Republican senator would come to the floor and explain whether Mitt Romney believes that 47 percent of Americans are freeloading moochers or if he thinks that 47 percent of Americans are mooching freeloaders.

    1. tessiee

      Possibility 3: Mitt Romney is a vapid blank without a thought in his head who bashed 47% of americans because he was ass-licking his corporate masters, and that's what they wanted to hear.

  24. prommie

    The Constitution says that anything said on the floor of the house or senate is absolutely privileged. Take your fucking Hatch Act, whiny republican, and shove it up your whiny fucking ass. Dumbfuck fucking moronic idiot.

  25. AddHomonym

    You can't criticize another state but you can holler all you want, apparently, about "Chicago-style politics" or "San Francisco values."

  26. poorgradstudent

    Why do contemporary Republicans remind me of those annoying kids in elementary school you'd play tag with who'd make up new "rules" like crying "I'm in a safe spot!" when they're about to lose?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      My favorite was calling "Time out!" when I'm about to lose, moving to a more favorable position, then calling "Time in!"

      1. poorgradstudent

        Oh God, that too!

        Also there were the kids who'd say they were "invisible," which I'm sure made sense in stupid kid logic.

  27. bikerlaureate

    The Republican Senators are so upset that they can't get anything important done.

    This, of course, is Obama's fault.

  28. qwerty42

    As the Romney campaign circles the drain, I'd expect lots more whiny calls to news outlets followed by the formation of circular firing squads. After the 2008 election, the Republicans had an effort (hugely mocked by our Wonkette) to find out what they should do (I cannot find the link, darn). As I recall, one suggestion was "Needz moar ghey"

  29. sullivanst

    Someone really ought to point out to the Republidiots that the Hatch Act only covers executive branch employees (and not all of those), of which Harry Reid is not one.

  30. chicken_thief

    A time or two a year Harry grows a pair and does what he should be doing every fucking day and these rare occurrences induce hissy fits in the GOP? Pfft…. pussies. But now I suppose we'll have to put up with Boner crying, Canter looking all squeamish like he might just have shit himself a little, and Mitch wobbling his turkey neck all over the teevees for a few days as they air their indignation at this non-offense.

  31. oenspiek

    Since Mittens isn't a fellow Senator, by Senate rules, Harry Reid can say anything about him he pleases on the Senate floor. And that pesky thing, the Constitution, turns out to have bits in it that aren't about guns or Jeebus.

    Dig that for what it is, rthugs.

  32. iTuna

    Also, Harry Reid just shut down Senate activities for the rest of the day because Scott Brown was dodging tonight's debate.

    Senator Scott Brown raised the possibility he might miss tonight’s lead-off debate with Elizabeth Warren because of the Senate voting schedule, before Democratic leaders challenged that assertion and Brown himself headed to the airport for a flight back to Boston.

    “We have no more votes today. No more votes today. It’s obvious to me what’s going on,” Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, the top Democrat in the chamber, said on the Senate floor. “I’ve been to a few of these rodeos. It is obvious there is a big stall taking place. One of the senators who had a debate tonight doesn’t want to debate. Well, he can’t use the Senate as an excuse. There will be no more votes today.”

  33. NellCote71

    I realize it is the House and not the Senate, but where were her denouncers when Michele Bachmann launched her jihad against the State Department? Or when Allen West says at least 70 members of Congress are Communists? Clutch your pearls, Auntie GOP, indeed.

  34. Native_of_SL_UT

    "You people" just don't understand.
    When Republicans bad mouth the President on the floor of the Senate, it's doing the countries business, cause he's the President, you see.
    Mitt is not the President, so you can't talk about him.

  35. DustBowlBlues

    I've told the Old Man that the next time he criticizes Harry Reid for being a wimp of a Majority Leader, I'm going to download parental controls to the computer.

  36. Negropolis

    There are only two things you cannot say on the Senate floor: You cannot criticize another state in the union…

    Are you kidding me? Fuck that; they would have had to remove me from the Senate floor on a whole number of occassions, most of them probably having to do with Texas.

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