the banda singer

Mitt Romney Dons Brownface For Forum With Mexicans

Mexican Mitt
Mitt Romney saw some Mexicans yesterday, at a Univision forum where he said “Illegal aliens” and all of Twitter got judgmental, as if saying “undocumented immigrants” was going to win Mitt points with his base, who are currently wondering if their hair isn’t going to need washing or their showers grouting come Election Day.

Josh will be by later with some extra-super-duper analysis of whatever pandering Senor Romney decided to perpetrate, but we wanted to point you to his Frito Bandito self-tanner job — as Wonket operative “Sherry” pointed out in tips, he went for “Extra Dark” — because DAMN, boy looks like Lindsay Lohan and Charlton Heston in “A Touch of Evil” had a little baby, and then hit it with their car. (Because “Evil,” and also “Lindsay Lohan.”)

So! Self-tanner “accident”? Makeup lady what needs firing? Or did John Boehner take him tanning for a little pick-me-up? He has been having a very hard week.

[AP Photo/Charles Dharapak]

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    1. actor212

      I think maybe he was trying to experience what life for an illegal immigrant was like, so he dressed in his mommy jeans and stood off the Intercoastal in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

      He was picked up for a job digging ditches in Holiday, and managed to earn $5.78 cents, which he then parlayed into $20,000,000 by buying the contractor and outsourcing the ditches to India.

  1. 1stNewtontheMoon

    Reminds me of the time W. wore his college cheerleader uniform to signing ceremony where he signed legislation to return women to their status as chattel. Because traditional marriage.

    1. sbj1964

      Mittens was for it before he was against it,and then for it again before he decided he was not for it.So as you can see he has been consistent in his being for not being for it.

    1. Boojum

      What is sad is that Mitt and the Republicans actually do think in terms of whether a particular skin tone will help or hurt a candidate. They darken Obama's pictures and, when Mitt is ah, ah, on Mexican, Radio, Radio, they brown him.

      WTF is wrong with these people?

    1. Woodshedding

      I'm still spitting coffee occasionally over the brilliant "Juan Percent" I read in these comments – [sorry but someone will have to help me out with giving credit where due....]

  2. chascates

    Today we are all both pandering to brownz AND people stuck on a Knotts Berry Farm ride 400 feet in the air wishing we hadn't drank all that Pepsi.

  3. Come here a minute

    Mitt just didn't do a very good job cleaning up after eating a bucket of chocolate ice cream, from having a sad.

  4. ChernobylSoup

    DARPA offered the Romney campaign $100 million for the software code that changes the android's skin color to match the surrounding population.

  5. mrpuma2u

    Mira, el Mitt es si guapo!!

    I wonder if after he loses the election, he will visit the polygamous Mormons where his great grandfather lived with multiple wives?

  6. FakaktaSouth

    I think whoever is running Mitt's campaign (Eric Fehrnstrom, right?) secretly hates the hell out of him. I seriously do, I think he must've been bullied by someone like Mitt and now he's like, "Hey, Etch a sketch, you know what you gotta do? Be really brown when you talk to some of them Mexican folks, they'll love that" And Mitt gets excited and goes for it," yeah yeah that sounds good." And Eric's all, "hang on, my tape recorder wasn't on for two minutes, say that shit again…"

    1. BadKitty904

      That make-up is so obviously awful that I'm wondering if there's not an underpaid Univision make-up artist somewhere currently laughing his/her ass off…

      1. FakaktaSouth

        It's got to be his personal folks – did you SEE how WHITE he was at the RNC? He was albino-white, seriously. His eyelashes were actually missing. It drove me CRAZY.

    2. prommie

      You are a genius my dear, this is so obviously true; its the campaign-staff equivalent of jerking off in his soup (which I am sure happens to him more than any man alive).

  7. Texan_Bulldog

    Wow…so it really does rub off onto other people.

    Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode when Kramer fell asleep in a tanning bed & then had to meet his black girlfriend's parents with really dark face.

    1. Rosie_Scenario

      And then he buttered up and was chased by a hungry Newman. There's a Seinfeld reference for every occasion.

      1. Isyaignert

        Haha – Newman comes into Jerry's apartment where Kramer is after having sunbathed on the roof with the butter and says, "It smells like turkey."

  8. belmontreport

    There is a joke in here about how he changes his mind so much that he can't even decide on an ethnicity/skin color, but it isn't funny enough for me to spend anymore time trying to figure out how to word it.

  9. Oblios_Cap

    What he really needed to connect with those voters was to sport a Dirty Sanchez. That would have won him the vegatarian burrito eaters' votes.

  10. fawkedifiknow

    Did he mention that the last time he was with this many Hispanics, he was doing a fund raiser at a catered dinner in West Palm last May, and there must have been a dozen waiters and who knows how many dishwashers in the kitchen?

    Mitt is smooth that way.

  11. Mumbletypeg

    It's Ann's turn next, for appealing to their base among the blue people of backwoods Kentucky.
    The inbreeding was caused by, among other reasons, "lack of roads" — so Ann's equestrian skills are a given for penetrating these remote regions.

  12. LibertyLover

    Can't wait for Romney to mix up his hair dye with his tanning gel – his hair will be orange and he will be in black-face (which should go over well with the 0% of African-Americans that already approve of him).

    1. weejee

      That or perhaps jaundice? That would be surprising since Mittens being a good Mormon, no drugz or booze, his liver has never really had to do any heavy lifting.

      1. eggsacklywright

        Rationalists, wearing square hats,
        Think, in square rooms,
        Looking at the floor,
        Looking at the ceiling.
        They confine themselves
        To right-angled triangles.
        If they tried rhomboids,
        Cones, waving lines, ellipses —
        As, for example, the ellipse of the half-moon —
        Rationalists would wear sombreros.

        W Stevens

    1. BadKitty904

      I'm betting we can expect millions in Romney PAC money to somehow mysteriously "disappear" after he loses…

    2. Isyaignert

      Actually, the last 30 years of the Republicons have been the slickest pyramid scheme/heist in the history of the world and the fukkers are getting away with it.

  13. Serolf_Divad

    You know, if you squint just right, Romney kinda looks a teensy bit like Miguel de la Madrid. Maybe it's the white sideburns. Or maybe it's that his dad was born in a Mexican polygamist commune.

  14. Terry

    "Mitt Romney saw some Mexicans yesterday, at a Univision forum where he said “Illegal aliens” and all of Twitter got judgmental, as if saying “undocumented immigrants” was going to win Mitt points with his base, "

    Could have been worse. He might have said "my grandfather's former servants".

  15. freakishlywrong

    He can fake bake all he wants. Messicuns are deeply aware that he pals around with that terr'ist Kris Kobach. And lied about it.

      1. Isyaignert

        My brother found out we were 1/32 Cherokee Indian, so his pick-up line is, "Do you have any Indian in you?" "Would you like some?"

  16. Toomush_Infer

    How can you doubt his sincerity? You heard the tape: he really wants to be Latino…..his political future would be so much easier….

  17. ph7

    Maybe he's trying to secure back-up employment as a Univision game show host. He's got the hair, and I bet his Mormon training would allow him to remain focused despite being surrounded by a flock of thong wearing hostesses onstage.

  18. Chet Kincaid_

    "Nice to see so many upstanding, white-ish conservative Cubans in the crowd today! I know there's no busboys with hidden iPhone cameras out there, you're the good ones ha ha ha ha!"

  19. Hamburger_Pimp

    Zoom in on his lapel pin – not sure but it looks like he pasted the aguila from the Mejican flag over the stripes on the gabacho one. Tio Tacos is back in town!

  20. prommie

    I am just gonna reiterate this here, Fakakta said it, and once you think on it you know its true, this fucking ratbastard shitstick fuckwad must be the constant victim of more "fragging" by the staff we all know he can't help but abuse than any man who ever walked the earth. I bet his doctors chill the medical instruments and smear their gloved hand with jalapeno before checking his prostate roughly. I am sure he has had more "cream" in his cream soups than any man alive, more hairs and spit and floor-grease in his food than any person to walk the earth. I am sure he so alienates every single person who has to serve him in any way to such an extent that he is the constant unaware recipient of little gifts of grossness and insult. Like this makeup job.

    1. MissTaken

      Gawd I sure hope so. Because if someone on his staff put him out there looking like this for real, and not as a joke, they are truly the biggest bunch of incompetents to ever run a campaign. For fucks sake, here at work we give people the once-over to check for boogers and spinach in teeth before letting them meet with anyone, and we are not important at all.

      1. Calapine

        Well, I think it was done on purpose.

        More brown = Appeal to Mexicans, must have been the thinking.
        It's just what Mitt always does: pander in a very obvious and insulting fashion.

  21. DahBoner


    Yeah, but who's going to stop them, Commander Morani?

    1. bobbert

      Actually, if he used the term "undocumented aliens", wouldn't that refer to people who can't prove they're aliens?

    1. Sacanagem

      But what will his drag name be?? If the same rules apply, first name is your first pet, last name is the street you grew up on…

  22. GregComlish

    What the hell flag is he wearing next to his American flag lapel?? The only two flags that are approved for lapel use by our political culture are the American flag or an American flag/Israeli flag combo. Everything else is just elitism and/or brown people.

  23. owhatever

    Some of my best friends own Mexicans, and I like to fire them. I saw that girl and her zebra in Tijuana once. It was really just a donkey painted with stripes, but still. So y'all come over and pick lettuce, then go back home at night. Okay? Cool.

  24. littlebigdaddy

    So…next thing you know his hair's going to turn that shade of blond favored by the mean girls? Maybe he can try Uggs and hotpants too!

  25. Baba_NinjaCat12

    On his next campaign stop, he will dress up as a Klingon to get the Klingon vote. Can you say, yIHarQo'! nepwI' ghaH!

  26. cpierson72

    I swear to God, I think I can see the pink circles around his eyes where goggles would go while getting spray-tanned.

    If only he'd been this desperate when he spoke before the NAACP, we'd have beheld (beholden? behelden?) some serious magic.

  27. thefrontpage

    For some reason, he also started talking like Speedy Gonzalez and he started singing the Frito Bandito theme song. Ay, yi, yi, yi, I am the Frito Bandito!!!


    Ay, yi, yi, yi, I am the Frito Bandito!!

  28. finallyhappy

    truly gangnam style!! Read aobut South Korean men and make-up(I saw it on the internet so it is true)

  29. Generation[redacted]

    Money Badger doesn't give a shit. Look at him go right into that nest of angry Messicans. "Thanks for the votes, assholes! Now go self deport!" Money Badger is a bad-ass.

  30. Veritas78

    Okay, wait a sec. I got through this whole thread assuming that picture was 'shopped, but it's for real? He actually "tanned" himself prior to going before going on Univision? Oh dear lord, what a loser.

  31. Isyaignert

    Did you notice he selected his darkest-skinned son to be on stage with him? I hope people are smart enough to see through this crap, but then again, they're Republicans, so they're stoooopid. Even Rick Santorum said the smart people won't vote for them.

  32. Negropolis

    He can't do anything right, can he?

    I'm just glad that he didn't do this at the NAACP event he went to.

Comments are closed.