Mexican Mitt
Mitt Romney saw some Mexicans yesterday, at a Univision forum where he said “Illegal aliens” and all of Twitter got judgmental, as if saying “undocumented immigrants” was going to win Mitt points with his base, who are currently wondering if their hair isn’t going to need washing or their showers grouting come Election Day.

Josh will be by later with some extra-super-duper analysis of whatever pandering Senor Romney decided to perpetrate, but we wanted to point you to his Frito Bandito self-tanner job — as Wonket operative “Sherry” pointed out in tips, he went for “Extra Dark” — because DAMN, boy looks like Lindsay Lohan and Charlton Heston in “A Touch of Evil” had a little baby, and then hit it with their car. (Because “Evil,” and also “Lindsay Lohan.”)

So! Self-tanner “accident”? Makeup lady what needs firing? Or did John Boehner take him tanning for a little pick-me-up? He has been having a very hard week.

[AP Photo/Charles Dharapak]

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  • thatsitfortheother1

    Hola muchachos y muchachas!

    • CleverSobriquet

      That's macacas and macacos.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Hola maracas…

    • Crank_Tango

      Me llamo Mitt Romney y soy un "motivational speaker"!

  • He looks like John Boehner on a budget.

    • I think maybe he was trying to experience what life for an illegal immigrant was like, so he dressed in his mommy jeans and stood off the Intercoastal in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

      He was picked up for a job digging ditches in Holiday, and managed to earn $5.78 cents, which he then parlayed into $20,000,000 by buying the contractor and outsourcing the ditches to India.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Like his IRA that he put $2,000.00 a year into.

        Made a lot of money at 26798578467.99% interest.

    • What the hell is wrong with the idiots "advising" him?!

      • comrad_darkness

        Shhh, they all work for Obama.

    • Negropolis

      I think that it is John Boehner who looks like Romney on a budget given that Willard's a billionaire.

  • no_gravity

    He definitely starting to look like someone who's been pickin' grapes all his life.

    • eggsacklywright

      After someone's peeled them for him.

    • Radiotherapy

      Sour grapes?

    • Negropolis

      Yes, the grapes of wrath.

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    Reminds me of the time W. wore his college cheerleader uniform to signing ceremony where he signed legislation to return women to their status as chattel. Because traditional marriage.

    • sbj1964

      Mittens was for it before he was against it,and then for it again before he decided he was not for it.So as you can see he has been consistent in his being for not being for it.

  • noodlesalad

    Ay, caramba. El cuarenta y siete no se gustan.

  • Estproph

    BREAKING: Romney Contracts Hepatitis On Campaign Trail

    • prommie

      From the splooge in his mayo?

  • GemlikeFlame

    Al Jolson he ain't.

    • Toomush_Infer

      "Ma ah ma ma ah ma sito….."

  • PuckStopsHere

    He figures being brown worked for Obama, so…

    • Boojum

      What is sad is that Mitt and the Republicans actually do think in terms of whether a particular skin tone will help or hurt a candidate. They darken Obama's pictures and, when Mitt is ah, ah, on Mexican, Radio, Radio, they brown him.

      WTF is wrong with these people?

  • StarsUponThars

    Mitt's Secret Service code name is Pander Bear.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Orange Julius.

      • PuckStopsHere

        George Hamilton.

        • thatsitfortheother1

          November Loser.

          • bikerlaureate


    • eggsacklywright

      Al Jolson?

    • Fuckwit.

    • Woodshedding

      I'm still spitting coffee occasionally over the brilliant "Juan Percent" I read in these comments – [sorry but someone will have to help me out with giving credit where due….]

      • bobbert

        Tequila Mockingbird.

    • Boojum

      I thought it was "Barbecued Iguana".

  • He's becoming the anti-Michael Jackson.

    • bobbert

      He's becoming a Lamanite.

  • Dildeaux

    Lipstick on a pig?

    • mrpuma2u

      Face paint on a peccary?

      • eggsacklywright

        Greg Peccary?

  • CivilMcMannerly

    He is just pandering. His back was also wet. I mean it was soaked. Outreach!

  • BadKitty904

    "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job"

  • That's not a spray tan. That's just Mitt feeling the heat.

  • Boojum

    Mitt Romney, standing athwart history, yelling "Derp!"

    • YouFail4eva

      Maybe even herp a derp?

  • freakishlywrong

    Yellow and lying is no way to go through life, Mittens.

  • chascates

    Today we are all both pandering to brownz AND people stuck on a Knotts Berry Farm ride 400 feet in the air wishing we hadn't drank all that Pepsi.

    • Mitt looks like he might have been standing underneath that ride

      • thatsitfortheother1


  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Awww….look at poor lil' Mittens tanorexic face….he haz a sad!

  • Wow. For a rich guy, that's a cheapo fakey bakey

    • no_gravity

      I know. Looking at it makes me want pancakes.

      • I'm Jonesing for Uncle Ben's, myself

    • eggsacklywright

      Looks like oxidation. Results from rolling around in your vat of money at night.

  • Goonemeritus

    I can’t wait to see what shade he picks when he visits the Muppet show.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      It ain't easy etc etc…

      • Boojum

        That's the theme of the 47% video!

      • bobbert

        ♪♫ It's not easy being an amoral, lying, rich fuck ♫♫

    • eggsacklywright

      He'll probably insult Cookie Monster.

    • Geminisunmars

      I can't wait to see what he looks like when Miss Piggy is through with him.

  • Come here a minute

    Mitt just didn't do a very good job cleaning up after eating a bucket of chocolate ice cream, from having a sad.

  • freakishlywrong

    Don't go anywhere near Arizona with that hue, Willard. On second

  • ChernobylSoup

    DARPA offered the Romney campaign $100 million for the software code that changes the android's skin color to match the surrounding population.

    • thatsitfortheother1


    • eggsacklywright

      Karma Khameleon.

  • mrpuma2u

    Mira, el Mitt es si guapo!!

    I wonder if after he loses the election, he will visit the polygamous Mormons where his great grandfather lived with multiple wives?

  • FakaktaSouth

    I think whoever is running Mitt's campaign (Eric Fehrnstrom, right?) secretly hates the hell out of him. I seriously do, I think he must've been bullied by someone like Mitt and now he's like, "Hey, Etch a sketch, you know what you gotta do? Be really brown when you talk to some of them Mexican folks, they'll love that" And Mitt gets excited and goes for it," yeah yeah that sounds good." And Eric's all, "hang on, my tape recorder wasn't on for two minutes, say that shit again…"

    • BadKitty904

      That make-up is so obviously awful that I'm wondering if there's not an underpaid Univision make-up artist somewhere currently laughing his/her ass off…

      • FakaktaSouth

        It's got to be his personal folks – did you SEE how WHITE he was at the RNC? He was albino-white, seriously. His eyelashes were actually missing. It drove me CRAZY.

        • BadKitty904

          Maybe he's changing color as Fall approaches…

          • MacRaith

            And he's headed for a big fall, sure enough.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Or America is. Come on Eric, screw him to the wall baby…

          • bobbert

            Are you suggesting that he is the right height?

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Alabaster is the term.

          • sullivanst

            When Mitt finds his servant is his master…

    • prommie

      You are a genius my dear, this is so obviously true; its the campaign-staff equivalent of jerking off in his soup (which I am sure happens to him more than any man alive).

      • cheetojeebus

        Teapaw? maybe? he just left the campaign!

  • Worst Telenovela actor ever.

  • smashaduck

    Oh good, he's ready to molt. Just in time for winter.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Wow…so it really does rub off onto other people.

    Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode when Kramer fell asleep in a tanning bed & then had to meet his black girlfriend's parents with really dark face.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      And then he buttered up and was chased by a hungry Newman. There's a Seinfeld reference for every occasion.

      • Living in Joy

        That's the episode that kills me. They could smell him roasting on the rooftop! Hilarious!

      • Isyaignert

        Haha – Newman comes into Jerry's apartment where Kramer is after having sunbathed on the roof with the butter and says, "It smells like turkey."

  • Usually "shit-faced" means someone got extremely drunk. Since Mormons don't drink that must actually be shit on his face.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Dirty Mitt-chez.

  • Barrelhse
  • belmontreport

    There is a joke in here about how he changes his mind so much that he can't even decide on an ethnicity/skin color, but it isn't funny enough for me to spend anymore time trying to figure out how to word it.

    • Boojum

      Etch a Tan?

      No, not really funny.

      Shake and Bake?

  • Oblios_Cap

    What he really needed to connect with those voters was to sport a Dirty Sanchez. That would have won him the vegatarian burrito eaters' votes.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Did he mention that the last time he was with this many Hispanics, he was doing a fund raiser at a catered dinner in West Palm last May, and there must have been a dozen waiters and who knows how many dishwashers in the kitchen?

    Mitt is smooth that way.

  • He has no lips and what is wrong with his teeth!?!!??

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps they filed down his fangs?

  • Apparently, Patricia Krentcil, the Tanning Mom, is an advisor for tanning affairs.

  • YasserArraFeck

    is he going to wear a fake beard when he campaigns among the Amish?

    • eggsacklywright

      Rafalca will come in handy then. Amish will be all WTF, why can't that horse stand still?

    • Fake? He's a regular Zelig.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I can't wait for him to court the Irish vote – will he be green or orange?…..

    • Mitt's chaiseing the Paddy O'Furniture voting block?

      • Toomush_Infer

        chaiseing – are you really going there?…is this an end table run around?…

    • Guppy

      He's tone-deaf enough to go orange.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Will never happen – Mittens doesn't drink

    • MissTaken

      He'll be both Black and Tan, they love some Black and Tans in Ireland. Love it.

      • Generation[redacted]

        I've been told to never order a black and tan at an Irish pub. Now I know why.

    • Negropolis

      Orange, no doubt.

  • no_gravity

    Mittz looks like he lost about 20 lbs this week, I guess those vegetarian burritos are doing their job.

    • PubOption

      And he has created a job for a toilet cleaner.

  • Poindexter718

    He told the makeup lady: "Just make sure I don't look pasty white, like Nixon" and, voila!

  • It's Ann's turn next, for appealing to their base among the blue people of backwoods Kentucky.
    The inbreeding was caused by, among other reasons, "lack of roads" — so Ann's equestrian skills are a given for penetrating these remote regions.

    • Radiotherapy

      Well she is a blue blood after all.

    • Boojum

      Please, don't talk about Ann Romney and penetrating remote regions in the same sentence.

  • LibertyLover

    Can't wait for Romney to mix up his hair dye with his tanning gel – his hair will be orange and he will be in black-face (which should go over well with the 0% of African-Americans that already approve of him).

    • anniegetyerfun

      We call that The Trump Makeover.

  • johnnymeatworth

    To be fair, "Illegal Alien" is his favorite Genesis song….

  • Maybe he just had too many vegetarian breakfast burritos that day.

    • That or perhaps jaundice? That would be surprising since Mittens being a good Mormon, no drugz or booze, his liver has never really had to do any heavy lifting.

    • anniegetyerfun

      You'd have to eat a fuckload of carrots to turn that color.

  • Where the hell is his sombrero?

    • johnnymeatworth

      "Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?"

    • no_gravity

      Please, don't be so pedestrian. It would be the urban sombrero.

      • eggsacklywright

        Rationalists, wearing square hats,
        Think, in square rooms,
        Looking at the floor,
        Looking at the ceiling.
        They confine themselves
        To right-angled triangles.
        If they tried rhomboids,
        Cones, waving lines, ellipses —
        As, for example, the ellipse of the half-moon —
        Rationalists would wear sombreros.

        W Stevens

  • Wilcoxyz

    No sombrero? His campaign has given up.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Cactus and bottle of tequila or GTFO.

      • MosesInvests

        Burro, also, too.

  • arihaya

    It's good to see that Romney spent that Rafalca tax deduction on tanning machine

  • sbj1964

    From the videos Mitt may have a problem getting the Latino vote since Mormons seem to kill Mexicans.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    His skin is darker than his lips. That just aint right.

    • prommie

      Naked squirrel.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        10-4 good buddy.

      • Boojum

        What, is that the name of that lip gloss?

  • BadKitty904

    I'm just hoping no one explains to him that "chupacabra" is *not* the Spanish word for "lawyer"…

    • Well, not the polite one, at any rate.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      Hey, how's it going, pendeckos? My very good friends!

    • Boojum

      And when the waiter says "puta" he doesn't mean "put your glass here."

  • Prediction: Romney takes the $300M in campaign cash and skips town to the Caymans. The whole thing was just the slickest pyramid scheme in history.

    • BadKitty904

      I'm betting we can expect millions in Romney PAC money to somehow mysteriously "disappear" after he loses…

    • Veritas78

      This is no longer even improbable.

    • Isyaignert

      Actually, the last 30 years of the Republicons have been the slickest pyramid scheme/heist in the history of the world and the fukkers are getting away with it.

  • Once you fake tint brown, you're staying a clown.

  • Serolf_Divad

    You know, if you squint just right, Romney kinda looks a teensy bit like Miguel de la Madrid. Maybe it's the white sideburns. Or maybe it's that his dad was born in a Mexican polygamist commune.

  • LibertyLover

    Mitt's looking pretty grey in that picture… and he isn't even President.

  • Did I hear Romney on the tape tell those fatcats to make their checks out to "Citizens Against Socialist Haters – or just abbreviate it C.A.S.H."????????

  • thatsitfortheother1

    "Some of my friends own Mexicans."

  • Terry

    "Mitt Romney saw some Mexicans yesterday, at a Univision forum where he said “Illegal aliens” and all of Twitter got judgmental, as if saying “undocumented immigrants” was going to win Mitt points with his base, "

    Could have been worse. He might have said "my grandfather's former servants".

  • freakishlywrong

    He can fake bake all he wants. Messicuns are deeply aware that he pals around with that terr'ist Kris Kobach. And lied about it.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    What can Brown do for you?

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      Lose him the election?

    • anniegetyerfun

      No lie; this is how my (brown) brother-in-law approaches women at bars.

      • HistoriCat

        A built in pick-up line? This just proves that there is no group so disadvantaged as white men.

      • Isyaignert

        My brother found out we were 1/32 Cherokee Indian, so his pick-up line is, "Do you have any Indian in you?" "Would you like some?"

  • Toomush_Infer

    How can you doubt his sincerity? You heard the tape: he really wants to be Latino…..his political future would be so much easier….

  • BornInATrailer

    It's like he got the anal bleaching instructions backwards and now his whole body is taint tone.

  • anniegetyerfun

    He's just proving how much easier it is when you are Latino.

  • For a moment there I thought Univision was running an old tape of Cesar Chavez.

  • Jerri

    A political event is no place for George Hamilton cosplay, Mittens!

  • It's like a … discoloration. It's brown.

    I would get that checked out if I were you.

  • ph7

    Maybe he's trying to secure back-up employment as a Univision game show host. He's got the hair, and I bet his Mormon training would allow him to remain focused despite being surrounded by a flock of thong wearing hostesses onstage.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    OMG! It's the Most Uninteresting Man in the World!

    • BarackMyWorld

      "I don't usually say things I honestly think….but when I do, they're totally offensive."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Should have had Cheech Marin advise him on some spanish phrases to use.
    "Hey Pendeckos!!!"

    • MosesInvests

      My temperature risin'…Que la chinga!

  • Slim_Pickins

    That's why Lurch hasn't been doing much campaigning, he's been working on his tan.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Look at the area around his eye…was he wearing an eye patch while being spray tanned?

    • schvitzatura

      Yesterday was "Speak Like a Pirate Day", right?

    • anniegetyerfun

      They make you wear little goggles.

  • "Nice to see so many upstanding, white-ish conservative Cubans in the crowd today! I know there's no busboys with hidden iPhone cameras out there, you're the good ones ha ha ha ha!"

  • Hamburger_Pimp

    Zoom in on his lapel pin – not sure but it looks like he pasted the aguila from the Mejican flag over the stripes on the gabacho one. Tio Tacos is back in town!

  • barto

    Me llamo Mierda Rdinero y quiero ser tu amigo, amigo! That oughtta do 'er.

  • Q: Si? Sy?

    A: Sy. Si…

  • prommie

    I am just gonna reiterate this here, Fakakta said it, and once you think on it you know its true, this fucking ratbastard shitstick fuckwad must be the constant victim of more "fragging" by the staff we all know he can't help but abuse than any man who ever walked the earth. I bet his doctors chill the medical instruments and smear their gloved hand with jalapeno before checking his prostate roughly. I am sure he has had more "cream" in his cream soups than any man alive, more hairs and spit and floor-grease in his food than any person to walk the earth. I am sure he so alienates every single person who has to serve him in any way to such an extent that he is the constant unaware recipient of little gifts of grossness and insult. Like this makeup job.

    • Mapmonger

      … That was like hearing Howl for the first time. Beautiful.

      • prommie

        Awwww! That was a nice thing to say.

    • MissTaken

      Gawd I sure hope so. Because if someone on his staff put him out there looking like this for real, and not as a joke, they are truly the biggest bunch of incompetents to ever run a campaign. For fucks sake, here at work we give people the once-over to check for boogers and spinach in teeth before letting them meet with anyone, and we are not important at all.

      • Calapine

        Well, I think it was done on purpose.

        More brown = Appeal to Mexicans, must have been the thinking.
        It's just what Mitt always does: pander in a very obvious and insulting fashion.

  • ahnc

    Mitt has wrapped up the John Boehner Tanning Bed vote.

  • sullivanst

    Tha Donald thinks Mitt looks very classy in brownface.

  • Dildeaux

    Brownface applied?

    Now the campaign is just fucking with an obviously developmentally challenged individual.

  • In what is probably completely unrelated news, Joe Arpaio asked to see Mitt Romney's birth certificate, suddenly.

  • Hamburger_Pimp

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Alberto Jolson!

  • DahBoner


    Yeah, but who's going to stop them, Commander Morani?

    • bobbert

      Actually, if he used the term "undocumented aliens", wouldn't that refer to people who can't prove they're aliens?

  • at this point, lindsey lohan looks like a viable alternative.

    • cheetojeebus

      Mmm side boob….

  • LibrarianX

    The thought of how he might look while addressing NOW will give me nightmares.

    • eggsacklywright

      Mittz in drag. The mind boggles.

    • Sacanagem

      But what will his drag name be?? If the same rules apply, first name is your first pet, last name is the street you grew up on…

    • bobbert

      NO TITZ!!! GTFO!!!

  • comrad_darkness

    Si se puede.

  • As these seem to be daily fuck-ups, I can't wait to see what'll happen tomorrow!!
    (Actually, I don't know how much more of this I can stand.)

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    Looks more like John Kerry when he went "orange face" during the 04 election.

  • Aquarianne17

    That's the effect of too much brown-nosing after your true feelings are revealed.

  • MinAgain

    What can brown do for you?

    • Negropolis

      Well, he can start by getting the hell off stage, thank you very much.

  • Living in Joy

    He literally looks shit-faced!

  • GregComlish

    What the hell flag is he wearing next to his American flag lapel?? The only two flags that are approved for lapel use by our political culture are the American flag or an American flag/Israeli flag combo. Everything else is just elitism and/or brown people.

  • owhatever

    Some of my best friends own Mexicans, and I like to fire them. I saw that girl and her zebra in Tijuana once. It was really just a donkey painted with stripes, but still. So y'all come over and pick lettuce, then go back home at night. Okay? Cool.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    That isn't spray tan, it's the worlds biggest skidmark…

  • littlebigdaddy

    So…next thing you know his hair's going to turn that shade of blond favored by the mean girls? Maybe he can try Uggs and hotpants too!

  • littlebigdaddy

    People just wait until he goes on a Chinese language program in California!

  • LibrarianX

    Needs more clown nose.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    On his next campaign stop, he will dress up as a Klingon to get the Klingon vote. Can you say, yIHarQo'! nepwI' ghaH!

  • ElPinche

    I can't wait for his BET gig.

  • vodkamuppet

    That picture, The Onion is going out of business if Romney keeps this up. How do you out do that?

  • BruceMcBruce

    Bain De Soleil for that St. Tropez Tan

  • VeraSevera

    Hey said he wished he was Latino…but no, he wouldn't, he couldn't, do you think?

  • bobbert

    The Least Interesting Tan in the World.

  • cpierson72

    I swear to God, I think I can see the pink circles around his eyes where goggles would go while getting spray-tanned.

    If only he'd been this desperate when he spoke before the NAACP, we'd have beheld (beholden? behelden?) some serious magic.

  • thefrontpage

    For some reason, he also started talking like Speedy Gonzalez and he started singing the Frito Bandito theme song. Ay, yi, yi, yi, I am the Frito Bandito!!!


    Ay, yi, yi, yi, I am the Frito Bandito!!

  • finallyhappy

    truly gangnam style!! Read aobut South Korean men and make-up(I saw it on the internet so it is true)

  • Generation[redacted]

    Money Badger doesn't give a shit. Look at him go right into that nest of angry Messicans. "Thanks for the votes, assholes! Now go self deport!" Money Badger is a bad-ass.

  • It was all just a crazy coincidence, like that time Kramer tanned too much before meeting his African American girlfriend's family.

  • mbobier

    Well, he DID say he thought it might be easier for him to get elected if he were Latino….

  • LibrarianX

    Too awesome not to share:

  • ttommyunger

    At long last, sir, have you no sense of shame?

  • Stubenville

    Did Mittens appear in a minstrel show afterwards?

  • drconspiracy

    ¿Quién es más macho?

  • Veritas78

    Okay, wait a sec. I got through this whole thread assuming that picture was 'shopped, but it's for real? He actually "tanned" himself prior to going before going on Univision? Oh dear lord, what a loser.

  • Isyaignert

    Did you notice he selected his darkest-skinned son to be on stage with him? I hope people are smart enough to see through this crap, but then again, they're Republicans, so they're stoooopid. Even Rick Santorum said the smart people won't vote for them.

  • Negropolis

    He can't do anything right, can he?

    I'm just glad that he didn't do this at the NAACP event he went to.

  • Negropolis


  • snausages773

    It's funny because – even with all that makeup – I still want to poo on his face.

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