debunked! because the image says so!

As it turns out, we need not see what was in those missing two minutes of video from Romney Gone Wild: 47% Of His Clothes Off. Willy Mittens is now declaring the video “debunked and selectively edited” for some reason.

Yes! This is a great plan! There is no part of this that won’t work except all of it!

Apparently, this Politico post is the reason the video is debunked and selectively edited. You see, Mitt did not say that peace between Israel and Palestine was impossible (yes he did), but he couched it by saying we can make the Palestinians do things if we are just strong and then…yes. That’s about it.

We will assume that Romney’s inelegance was also debunked, and that he Fred Astaired his way through that shit like a champ. Let us salute him for boldly having both positions necessary to own his statements: that he said them and says them all the time and also didn’t say them at all because wow.


Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • AbandonHope_

    Missing two minutes > 48 minutes of arrogant shitbaggery, therefore Obama loses.

    Okay, I get it now. Conservative math is hard.

  • Callyson

    "selectively edited”

    And in what unedited version would Mittens' comments have sounded better? Did they cut a "Not!" at the end of his remarks?


    • "Selectively edited" >" Elegantly stated"

    • mrpuma2u

      Again this is Neocon marxism a al Barney Frank. Not Karl Marx but Chico Marx when he would say to Harpo " Who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes???"

  • MonkeyHamlet

    Seriously, Governor Romney, the chicken is elegantly requesting you stop fucking it now.

    • He's not fucking it, he's selectively editing its vagina

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        legitimate edits or the chicken can shut it down…

        • MonkeyHamlet

          "I did not have sexual relations with that poultry…"

          • zippy_w_pinhead

            which came first?

  • AlterNewt

    "Candidate Throws Spaghetti At Wall, Crosses Fingers"

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I bet they are hidden around the corner in the Rose Mary Woods.

  • PuckStopsHere

    It's been debunked because who are you going to believe, your lying ears or Willard Romney?

  • GuanoFaucet

    Oh, for fuck's sake.

  • Nothingisamiss

    "I never said 'dependent' to those fundraisers!"

    *shakes finger in air*

  • memzilla

    [Youngz, sing it to this tune.]

    ♫ Those pundits on the air ♫
    That grainy video there
    That lays your conscience bare
    It's Mitt's Gaffe!

    And you got no defense for it
    It shows the honest side of Mitt
    What good would Limbaugh's spin on it do?

    'Cause it's Mitt's Gaffe, YouTube'd Mitt's Gaffe
    And although, I know, you're back-ped'ling too….

    You cannot walk away from it
    Noonington says you're in the shit
    And Billy Kristol's piling on too.

    This really wrecked your pitch
    Ain't life a sumnabitch?
    There's no more clueless git than you…
    Robo Tard you…

    Hey Mitt! Go outsource yourself!

    • Bezoar

      Hey, very good, and good song choice, Frank Sinatra did it so well, thanks.

  • Rotundo_

    The flailing continues. Mittens still looks like an asshole. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

  • Doktor Zoom

    See, if we just make the Palestinians very afraid of our military, they will respect us and want peace.

    Because the Israelis certainly haven't tried negotiating from a position of "strength and resolve," ever. Maybe a few MORE airstrikes on Gaza would help.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I could have sworn that knocking down Arafat's compound was going to solve all the problems in the world. Or bring around Armageddon. Which also would solve a lot of problems, I guess.

    • pdiddycornchips

      I imagine Muslim terrorists are preparing for their surrender in the unlikely event Mitt wins the election, such is the fear his stern finger and furrowed brow strikes in their hearts.

  • Nesnora

    Because it takes 2 minutes while they wait to reboot him, duh…

    • Jus_Wonderin

      …and years to soothe the terror of those who observed him crash.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      his new campaign logo is the BSOD

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I guess the aide that dropped the stack of punch cards is fired, right?

    • James Michael Curley

      But in October they are releasing Mitt 8.0 which they promise reboots in 30 seconds.

  • ChernobylSoup

    So now Romney's saying he thinks 47% of Americans are shiftless, and 100% of Americans are morons.

    • We can shut the thread now.

    • Crank_Tango

      All he needs to do is fool all of the people SOME of the time.

  • Antispandex

    Tax returns also edited, debunked, whatever. Nothing to see here people, move along!

  • Oh, so for two minutes, when he didn't know that the camera he didn't know was there was turned off, he spoke his actual mind, instead of his pretend mind?

    I dunno…I've heard the phrase "weapons grade stoopid" but I never truly understood it before.

  • ph7

    Romney's HQ: "Tape is a bold truthtelling by Mitt contrasting his empowerment philosophy and the President's redistributivism"

    [intern brings in polling dailies]

    HQ: "Correction: It's all a big hatchet job of doctored quotes!"

    • That's the funniest bit of all this: why didn't he just say from day one, "No, my comments were different and we need to hear the unedited version," instead of, "Well, they could have been more elegantly stated."

      I guess Mitt is calling Governor Romney a liar?

  • Baconzgood

    That's like saying Ishtar was a box office smash. Just cause your mouth makes words doesn't make it any more true.

    • BartStarrland

      My cat had kittens in the oven. That don't make 'em biscuits.

    • One_who_wanders

      Rmoney is a BIG fan of Proof though Repeated Assertion. He didn't inherit anything!

  • BadKitty904

    Dear Mr. Nixon,

    I never thought this would happen to me…

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      [expletive deleted]

    • ph7

      Time for Romney to put on his penny loafers and socks and walk the beaches of San Clemente.

  • sbj1964

    Mitttens likes to play fast,and lose with the truth.Nice way to say he's a lying Mother Fucker.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Apparently they can see where the editor Scotch taped the pixels together.

  • Callyson

    Also, from the Politico link–about those edits:

    Journalist David Corn, who obtained the complete film for Mother Jones, said that he cut the clip where he did because Romney had already made the latter remarks in public, because he needed to cut the tape somewhere, and because the additional remarks did not change the nature of what Romney was saying.
    "I cut it there because it was a long excerpt, and because he started talking about not putting pressure on Israel, which I've heard him say publicly before. So there was no news there," Corn told POLITICO. "We plead guilty to putting up clips of what we thought was newsworthy. Newspapers do not put up full transcripts of speeches. They put up what is new or what is different. Then, within 24 hours, we put up the full video."

    Obviously, a vast left-wing conspiracy.

  • YouBetcha

    I stand firmly behind what I did not say on that videotape. Send money plz thnx.

  • Meathamper

    Does Romney have a smörgåsbord so he can pick and those which idea he wants to eat (and then shit out) for that particular day?

  • SexySmurf

    "Mitt who?"

    -Mitt Romney.

  • coolhandnuke

    My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball; but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

  • owhatever

    So, what part of what he said did he not really say?

    Just pretend it didn't happen, put fingers in ears and shout la-la-la-la.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I hope I get to hear the boom when Mitch McConnell's heart explodes on Sunday, January 20, 2013.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Okay, Wonkette. Looks like O'Keefe won this round.

    Maybe we'll get 'em next time.

  • PinkoPopulist

    So in the course of 24 hours we went from "inelegantly stated" to out of context to "debunked and selectively edited"


    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Tomorrow will bring the "that wasn't me" defense.

      • sbj1964

        Yes the famous Video VS R.Kelly president

      • BadKitty904

        Swiftly followed by a "My shoe was untied" feint, then a "The sun was in my eyes" gambit…

      • MosesInvests

        It vasn't me, it vas somevone else, und anyvay, I vas chust followink orders!

  • SmutBoffin


  • Baconzgood

    You'd think they would be tired from fucking that chicken all week.

  • Is Mittens saying that Mother is Jonesin' us? Gasp!

    Willard what about Santa, I gotta know??? Easter Bunny is a reach, but Santa fer Christ's sake??!!?? None silver spoons, no silk stockings??

  • The worst thing so far is this:

    Why is this getting so little play???

    • PinkoPopulist

      Josh Marshall commented on this on the TPM editor's blog also. Too lazy to link, but yeah. It really puts that whole "NobUmmmer killed an American ambassador" gaffe in the proper context.

    • Holy flurking shnit. He should be crucified for that. With votes, of course.

      • greenloner

        It's beginning to happen. I'm looking forward to further self-inflicted damage in October.

    • Callyson

      For. Fuck's. Sake.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Sorry Bishop Romney, you can't debunk shitheadedness

  • Ya know, saying that the words on TAPE that came out of your MOUTH were "selectively edited" works a lot better when you didn't subsequently SAY, with own your same MOUTH that they were indeed YOUR WORDS, again, on tape, the very next day after said tape was released at a damage control press conference. Just sayin'.

  • So it was either inelegantly stated; out of context (Ann argued this point); his greater point (which wasn't spoken) was that we need to help everybody get more opportunity, including that 47% who pay no income tax and consider themselves victims and who want free food, housing and healthcare and who it's not his job to worry about; or else it's selectively edited. I think the only explanation he's missing is Newt's "anyone who quotes me is a damn liar" one. Oh, and the truth — he could try the truth, I guess.

  • Callyson

    And in a related story:

    Obama Up 8 Points Nationally In Latest Pew Poll

    And yes, HuffyPo's trolls are losing their shit. Such a beautiful sight…

    • viennawoods13

      I just can't stand to go there anymore. The teatards are taking over.

  • finallyhappy

    From now until he loses, all I want to say about mittens -is Oppa Gangnam style!

    • annnddd i will have that in my head all night.

      i hope you're finally happy.

  • Words, pfft! Everyone knows that there are two sides to every meaning of a word. Besides the campaign's comment was taken out of context.

    • SmutBoffin

      It's like "bad" actually means "good" 'n' stuff. Here, "filthy, sniveling peasants who can't get out of bed unless Obama waves a wad of money at them" is slang for "people whom I care deeply about and wish agreeable employment upon and taxation commensurate with their incomes".

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Strategery–it's difficult! Leave Mitt alone or he will have Ann come & condescend to 'you people'.

  • rickmaci

    OK, So we will give Shitt the benefit of the doubt and not critize him for what nobody ever said he said during the missing minutes of tape. Fuk it if they aren't popping lethal doses of stoopid in Boston.

  • I know where you go everybody you know
    I know everything that you do or say
    So when you tell lies I'll always be in your way
    I'm nobody's fool and I know all
    'Cos I know what I know

    You're in suspension
    You're a liar
    You're a liar
    You're a liar
    Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie

  • Boojum

    See, during those two minutes, he talked about puppies and kittens…and feeding their hearts to the Sith Lord Cheney.

  • So, was his press conference on Monday night also "selectively edited". The part where he stood by everything that he said on the tape seemed to be live. Is there nothing that these special effects wizards in the liberal media can't do?

  • a_pink_poodle

    Mr Romney, your silence only incriminates you further. No Mr Romney, don't take your anger out on me! Mr Romney! NOOOOOOOOOO*


  • AlterNewt

    Sometimes when the Wonkette acts a little hinky, you gotta jiggle the handle a little bit.

    • SmutBoffin

      Handle = F5?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Hey, bragger. I have to run out to the back forty to get my Wonkette. You with your fancy indoor Wonkette.

      • AlterNewt

        We even got one of them cootchy-washin' things.

    • banana_bread

      I tried turning it off and turning it back on again, but that didn't work, so I complained to our editrix on Twitter instead. Close enough right?

      • What's funny is that it's Twitter-related — when the writers embed the tweets as above, there's a script in the follow button that refers to something not on the page, which causes it to hang. Putting a screenshot instead of a direct embed solves the problem.

        • AlterNewt

          I was just going to say that.

  • BadKitty904

    "Selectively edited? I do not think those words mean what you think they mean."

    ~ I. Montoya

  • Sue4466

    Well, it has been debunked in that pretty much everything he said has been proven to be wrong.

  • Here's a hint Mittens, why don't you do that yourself?

    Of course, here's another GOPer who screams "Personal Responsibility" to others yet doesn't do any when he is dealing with himself.

    • gullywompr

      He is doing that to himself.

    • TribecaMike

      Look, young man, if you want to know Mitt's plan, you're just going to wait until after the inauguration. If, that is, you can get security clearance to Mitt's retirement party. Baring that, just hang out at the NYSE. He's bound to show up there.

  • pinkocommi

    May I suggest Mitt's campaign go back to disenfranchising minority voters? Because that seemed like it was working better than anything else they've been doing.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Simple remedy: repost the whole video, including the 2 minutes scene of the Billionaire host giving Romney a facial.

    • BadKitty904

      I was hoping for a brief interlude of interpretive dance…

    • mr bojangles

      i got yer 2 minutes right here!!! (grabs crotch)

  • Not_So_Much

    "Debunked" — I don't think that means what they think it means.

  • C_ARRGH_Eature

    YARRR, Me Hearties! Today Be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! I'd best be seein' some Piraty-Snark from all o' you Bilge Rats today!
    AYE? AYE!

    • MistaEko

      Avast! What be the one letter abbreviation of the Party that's shitting the bed?

    • TribecaMike
      • C_ARRGH_Eature

        Captain Kidd would like a word with ye, ye bilge rat!

        • TribecaMike

          Blast these young thunder bonnets and their Spanishy guitars!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    How do you debunk video, exactly? This is not wrestling or Copperfield. If you say "I fucked Ray Charles in his eye socket" and it ends up on tape, how can we assess anything else other than a cause for Ray's blindness?

  • doloras

    So which is it, righttards – Mitt's 47% comments were right and he should double down on them, OR they were misrepresented? You can't have it both ways. You can't be like those neo-Nazis who say that the holocaust never happened AND the Jews deserved it.

  • TribecaMike

    It continues to get even better: "Romney Campaign Releases, Then Removes Video Titled 'Mitt Doesn't Disdain The Poor'" starring St. Ann of Romney herself!

  • MistaEko

    Biff: What is it Steve? They need me back on the bullshit floor.

    Steve: Cognitive Dissonance machine, Biff.

    Biff: (sigh) Again? C'mon we did this last week.

    Steve: I'm tellin ya it can't handle anything besides a twofer. It's got "stand by the statement", "inelegant", and "debunked as edited" and it's jamming!

    Biff: Horsecrap. When I was here we were running 8 threads all through South Carolina.

    Steve: Well I'm tellin ya! I'm putting them in and it's not working!

    Biff: Alright, bring up the panel.

    Steve:….There! "Selectively edited and unfair" loop error along with the … "Obama said redistribution in a speech years ago" thread! What's that about?

    Biff: (heavier sigh) … that's the fuckin' Project Hail Mary up on the Seventh floor. Get Boston on the horn. Talk to them.

    Steve: I'm sorry Biff, it's not me!

    Biff: I know, man. I know.

  • RadioX

    He said, "Haha, it was all a joke, I love the poorz, Shalom, Oh Israel, good times good times."


  • sullivanst

    Mitt, it's time to take the other position on whether you should be President.

    You should not be President.

  • "I'm not a son-of-a-bitch. I'm nothing you've heard."

    • lulzmonger

      "I'm you. Uh ,,, you ARE Union Carbide, right?"

  • obfuscator2


  • LibrarianX

    I love that their strategy is now to find the approach that reeks the least of desperation. btw – FAIL.

  • RALitherland

    Jesus H. Christ on a bike. How is this supposed to work after Mittens has tacitly admitted the accuracy of the whole thing by his attempted defense? C'mon guys, the steps are (1) deny it, say it's faked, etc; (2) give up and admit it. In that order.

  • redarmyzombie

    Ladies and gentlemen, I repeat once again: this was the best candidate the Republicans could find.

    These people are sooooo fucking screwed, and I'm lovin' every moment of it…

    • TribecaMike

      How right ye are, me bucko. This crew can't tell their mizzens from there Mormons.

      • redarmyzombie

        Yar, matey. I've been getting m'self a good bit o' schadenfreude these past few weeks…

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      Sadly, somewhere close to 45 percent of the people who allegedly care enough about all this democracy nonsense will go to the polls in another month and vote for this turd.

  • ttommyunger

    This Politico Ploy might work except for the fact that Mittens has not backed away from any part of the video and has, in fact, doubled down on the whole shit-eroo. Might ought to check with the Campaign Staff before structuring their defense, dipshits.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Words…how do they work?

  • smitallica

    Selectively edited. Like Ryan's budget, which some troublemaker "edited" all the numbers out of.

  • lulzmonger


    It's either the ylang-ylang or the patchouli, I'm not sure which.

  • beezie687

    OK so the timeline is: a portion of the video is released; Money Boo Boo holds a presser and says "yeah I said it, SO WHAT"; the full video is released; suddenly the video is "debunked". YOUR GUY JUST SAID HE STOOD BY WHAT HE SAID. How is that debunking it? Did Rmoney forget to wear a pimp hat?

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Just hit F2 on the reboot sequence and you can boot off of any connected media.

  • DahBoner

    Hey! They moved the input jack to the bottom!

    Mitt's 2012 update complete…

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "But I always keep open: the idea of pushing on the Israelis to give something up to get the Palestinians to act is the worst idea in the world. We have done that time and time and time again. It does not work."

    Ummm … pushing the Israelis to give up something is a bad idea, and won't work? Really, Mittens? I think Mitt's only peace plan involves the Palestinians packing up and leaving.

  • CalvinsChoice

    That horse won't dance.

Previous articleWhite People Correct: This Black Man Is The Real Racist
Next articleGet Ready For Your Boycott And Counter-Boycott, Dos Equis