Romney: The Things I Say All The Time Are Debunked And Selectively Edited

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debunked! because the image says so!

As it turns out, we need not see what was in those missing two minutes of video from Romney Gone Wild: 47% Of His Clothes Off. Willy Mittens is now declaring the video “debunked and selectively edited” for some reason.

Yes! This is a great plan! There is no part of this that won’t work except all of it!

 
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Apparently, this Politico post is the reason the video is debunked and selectively edited. You see, Mitt did not say that peace between Israel and Palestine was impossible (yes he did), but he couched it by saying we can make the Palestinians do things if we are just strong and then…yes. That’s about it.

We will assume that Romney’s inelegance was also debunked, and that he Fred Astaired his way through that shit like a champ. Let us salute him for boldly having both positions necessary to own his statements: that he said them and says them all the time and also didn’t say them at all because wow.

WHY IS MOTHER JONES SO FUCKING TERRIBLE JESUS.

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Hola wonkerados.

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139 comments

  1. AbandonHope_

    Missing two minutes > 48 minutes of arrogant shitbaggery, therefore Obama loses.

    Okay, I get it now. Conservative math is hard.

    1. Antispandex

      All math is hard, conservative math just does not need to be fact based. Book learning is all bad too, except "Good Book" learning, which requires very little math. If you weren't in league with the devil, you would understand.

    2. zippy_w_pinhead

      conservatard math is easy- just pick the answer that you want then fill in any numbers you want, even if they don't add up to the answer you picked. Now 2+2= on the other hand seems to really stump them…

      1. qwerty42

        Well there is the biblical value of π (3):

        1 Kings 7:23
        And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about.

        So there's that.

    3. banana_bread

      WHY ARE YOU STILL ON WONKETTE

      DRIVE HOME SO WE CAN GO GET TAPAS

      this has been your weekly Wonkette public husband shaming.

    4. BerkeleyBear

      There are times when 2 minutes might matter a lot, like when you say "Psych" over and over. But here the math is apparently something like:

      50 minutes of arrogant shitbaggery – 2 minutes of uber right wing/AIPAC douchery = Dems are satanic devils

      That's not hard. It is fucking insane, especially when for their messaging it works like this

      everything the president says – everything except one word or phrase they can turn into a cudgel = perfectly acceptable.

  2. Callyson

    "selectively edited”

    And in what unedited version would Mittens' comments have sounded better? Did they cut a "Not!" at the end of his remarks?

    Assholes.

    1. mrpuma2u

      Again this is Neocon marxism a al Barney Frank. Not Karl Marx but Chico Marx when he would say to Harpo " Who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes???"

  3. memzilla

    [Youngz, sing it to this tune.]

    ♫ Those pundits on the air ♫
    That grainy video there
    That lays your conscience bare
    It's Mitt's Gaffe!

    And you got no defense for it
    It shows the honest side of Mitt
    What good would Limbaugh's spin on it do?

    'Cause it's Mitt's Gaffe, YouTube'd Mitt's Gaffe
    And although, I know, you're back-ped'ling too….

    You cannot walk away from it
    Noonington says you're in the shit
    And Billy Kristol's piling on too.

    This really wrecked your pitch
    Ain't life a sumnabitch?
    There's no more clueless git than you…
    Robo Tard you…

    Hey Mitt! Go outsource yourself!

  4. Doktor Zoom

    See, if we just make the Palestinians very afraid of our military, they will respect us and want peace.

    Because the Israelis certainly haven't tried negotiating from a position of "strength and resolve," ever. Maybe a few MORE airstrikes on Gaza would help.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I could have sworn that knocking down Arafat's compound was going to solve all the problems in the world. Or bring around Armageddon. Which also would solve a lot of problems, I guess.

    2. pdiddycornchips

      I imagine Muslim terrorists are preparing for their surrender in the unlikely event Mitt wins the election, such is the fear his stern finger and furrowed brow strikes in their hearts.

  5. actor212

    Oh, so for two minutes, when he didn't know that the camera he didn't know was there was turned off, he spoke his actual mind, instead of his pretend mind?

    I dunno…I've heard the phrase "weapons grade stoopid" but I never truly understood it before.

  6. ph7

    Romney's HQ: "Tape is a bold truthtelling by Mitt contrasting his empowerment philosophy and the President's redistributivism"

    [intern brings in polling dailies]

    HQ: "Correction: It's all a big hatchet job of doctored quotes!"

    1. actor212

      That's the funniest bit of all this: why didn't he just say from day one, "No, my comments were different and we need to hear the unedited version," instead of, "Well, they could have been more elegantly stated."

      I guess Mitt is calling Governor Romney a liar?

  7. Baconzgood

    That's like saying Ishtar was a box office smash. Just cause your mouth makes words doesn't make it any more true.

  8. Callyson

    Also, from the Politico link–about those edits:

    Journalist David Corn, who obtained the complete film for Mother Jones, said that he cut the clip where he did because Romney had already made the latter remarks in public, because he needed to cut the tape somewhere, and because the additional remarks did not change the nature of what Romney was saying.
    "I cut it there because it was a long excerpt, and because he started talking about not putting pressure on Israel, which I've heard him say publicly before. So there was no news there," Corn told POLITICO. "We plead guilty to putting up clips of what we thought was newsworthy. Newspapers do not put up full transcripts of speeches. They put up what is new or what is different. Then, within 24 hours, we put up the full video."

    Obviously, a vast left-wing conspiracy.

  9. Meathamper

    Does Romney have a smörgåsbord so he can pick and those which idea he wants to eat (and then shit out) for that particular day?

  10. coolhandnuke

    My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball; but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

  11. owhatever

    So, what part of what he said did he not really say?

    Just pretend it didn't happen, put fingers in ears and shout la-la-la-la.

  12. PinkoPopulist

    So in the course of 24 hours we went from "inelegantly stated" to out of context to "debunked and selectively edited"

    Wow.

  13. weejee

    Is Mittens saying that Mother is Jonesin' us? Gasp!

    Willard what about Santa, I gotta know??? Easter Bunny is a reach, but Santa fer Christ's sake??!!?? None silver spoons, no silk stockings??

    1. PinkoPopulist

      Josh Marshall commented on this on the TPM editor's blog also. Too lazy to link, but yeah. It really puts that whole "NobUmmmer killed an American ambassador" gaffe in the proper context.

  14. Hammiepants

    Ya know, saying that the words on TAPE that came out of your MOUTH were "selectively edited" works a lot better when you didn't subsequently SAY, with own your same MOUTH that they were indeed YOUR WORDS, again, on tape, the very next day after said tape was released at a damage control press conference. Just sayin'.

  15. SayItWithWookies

    So it was either inelegantly stated; out of context (Ann argued this point); his greater point (which wasn't spoken) was that we need to help everybody get more opportunity, including that 47% who pay no income tax and consider themselves victims and who want free food, housing and healthcare and who it's not his job to worry about; or else it's selectively edited. I think the only explanation he's missing is Newt's "anyone who quotes me is a damn liar" one. Oh, and the truth — he could try the truth, I guess.

  16. skmind

    Words, pfft! Everyone knows that there are two sides to every meaning of a word. Besides the campaign's comment was taken out of context.

    1. SmutBoffin

      It's like "bad" actually means "good" 'n' stuff. Here, "filthy, sniveling peasants who can't get out of bed unless Obama waves a wad of money at them" is slang for "people whom I care deeply about and wish agreeable employment upon and taxation commensurate with their incomes".

  17. Texan_Bulldog

    Strategery–it's difficult! Leave Mitt alone or he will have Ann come & condescend to 'you people'.

  18. rickmaci

    OK, So we will give Shitt the benefit of the doubt and not critize him for what nobody ever said he said during the missing minutes of tape. Fuk it if they aren't popping lethal doses of stoopid in Boston.

  19. fuflans

    I know where you go everybody you know
    I know everything that you do or say
    So when you tell lies I'll always be in your way
    I'm nobody's fool and I know all
    'Cos I know what I know

    You're in suspension
    You're a liar
    You're a liar
    You're a liar
    Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie

  20. Boojum

    See, during those two minutes, he talked about puppies and kittens…and feeding their hearts to the Sith Lord Cheney.

  21. iburl

    So, was his press conference on Monday night also "selectively edited". The part where he stood by everything that he said on the tape seemed to be live. Is there nothing that these special effects wizards in the liberal media can't do?

  22. a_pink_poodle

    Mr Romney, your silence only incriminates you further. No Mr Romney, don't take your anger out on me! Mr Romney! NOOOOOOOOOO*

    *DRAMATISATION MAY NOT HAVE HAPPENED

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Hey, bragger. I have to run out to the back forty to get my Wonkette. You with your fancy indoor Wonkette.

    2. banana_bread

      I tried turning it off and turning it back on again, but that didn't work, so I complained to our editrix on Twitter instead. Close enough right?

      1. SayItWithWookies

        What's funny is that it's Twitter-related — when the writers embed the tweets as above, there's a script in the follow button that refers to something not on the page, which causes it to hang. Putting a screenshot instead of a direct embed solves the problem.

  23. ManchuCandidate

    Here's a hint Mittens, why don't you do that yourself?

    Of course, here's another GOPer who screams "Personal Responsibility" to others yet doesn't do any when he is dealing with himself.

    1. TribecaMike

      Look, young man, if you want to know Mitt's plan, you're just going to wait until after the inauguration. If, that is, you can get security clearance to Mitt's retirement party. Baring that, just hang out at the NYSE. He's bound to show up there.

  24. pinkocommi

    May I suggest Mitt's campaign go back to disenfranchising minority voters? Because that seemed like it was working better than anything else they've been doing.

  25. Mittens Howell, III

    Simple remedy: repost the whole video, including the 2 minutes scene of the Billionaire host giving Romney a facial.

  26. KeepFnThatChicken

    How do you debunk video, exactly? This is not wrestling or Copperfield. If you say "I fucked Ray Charles in his eye socket" and it ends up on tape, how can we assess anything else other than a cause for Ray's blindness?

  27. doloras

    So which is it, righttards – Mitt's 47% comments were right and he should double down on them, OR they were misrepresented? You can't have it both ways. You can't be like those neo-Nazis who say that the holocaust never happened AND the Jews deserved it.

  28. MistaEko

    Biff: What is it Steve? They need me back on the bullshit floor.

    Steve: Cognitive Dissonance machine, Biff.

    Biff: (sigh) Again? C'mon we did this last week.

    Steve: I'm tellin ya it can't handle anything besides a twofer. It's got "stand by the statement", "inelegant", and "debunked as edited" and it's jamming!

    Biff: Horsecrap. When I was here we were running 8 threads all through South Carolina.

    Steve: Well I'm tellin ya! I'm putting them in and it's not working!

    Biff: Alright, bring up the panel.

    Steve:….There! "Selectively edited and unfair" loop error along with the … "Obama said redistribution in a speech years ago" thread! What's that about?

    Biff: (heavier sigh) … that's the fuckin' Project Hail Mary up on the Seventh floor. Get Boston on the horn. Talk to them.

    Steve: I'm sorry Biff, it's not me!

    Biff: I know, man. I know.

  29. RadioX

    He said, "Haha, it was all a joke, I love the poorz, Shalom, Oh Israel, good times good times."

    EXONERATED!

  30. sullivanst

    Mitt, it's time to take the other position on whether you should be President.

    You should not be President.

  31. LibrarianX

    I love that their strategy is now to find the approach that reeks the least of desperation. btw – FAIL.

  32. RALitherland

    Jesus H. Christ on a bike. How is this supposed to work after Mittens has tacitly admitted the accuracy of the whole thing by his attempted defense? C'mon guys, the steps are (1) deny it, say it's faked, etc; (2) give up and admit it. In that order.

  33. redarmyzombie

    Ladies and gentlemen, I repeat once again: this was the best candidate the Republicans could find.

    These people are sooooo fucking screwed, and I'm lovin' every moment of it…

    1. HobbesEvilTwin

      Sadly, somewhere close to 45 percent of the people who allegedly care enough about all this democracy nonsense will go to the polls in another month and vote for this turd.

  34. ttommyunger

    This Politico Ploy might work except for the fact that Mittens has not backed away from any part of the video and has, in fact, doubled down on the whole shit-eroo. Might ought to check with the Campaign Staff before structuring their defense, dipshits.

  35. lulzmonger

    WHY IS MOTHER JONES SO FUCKING TERRIBLE JESUS.

    It's either the ylang-ylang or the patchouli, I'm not sure which.

  36. beezie687

    OK so the timeline is: a portion of the video is released; Money Boo Boo holds a presser and says "yeah I said it, SO WHAT"; the full video is released; suddenly the video is "debunked". YOUR GUY JUST SAID HE STOOD BY WHAT HE SAID. How is that debunking it? Did Rmoney forget to wear a pimp hat?

  37. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "But I always keep open: the idea of pushing on the Israelis to give something up to get the Palestinians to act is the worst idea in the world. We have done that time and time and time again. It does not work."

    Ummm … pushing the Israelis to give up something is a bad idea, and won't work? Really, Mittens? I think Mitt's only peace plan involves the Palestinians packing up and leaving.

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