Time for your newest Vice video, Wonkers! There are four more before you are done forever. Which part will you whine about this time? (The hipster. You will whine about the hipster like you did in Part One and Part Two.)
Feels like this one could use some Titty Twister and/or Queen of the Dead, but it does move the plot forward.
I still miss Kingpin. Might've been the last time I enjoyed network-provided — as well as controversial-content-launched and soon thereafter snuf'd out — television drama.
Ol' Jose "El Rikin" (what does that mean?) Escajeda, High-Ranking Boss of the Juarez Cartel, looks to be about 22 years old and also looks like he has a touch of the Down's-brush. I guess all the older cartelistas have slaughtered each other?
I just changed my gravatar! Or tried to, I am so excited, its like going out in a fancy new outfit for the first time! Someone tell me it worked, I can't tell if it worked!
True story, when, in the hospital, I told them that yes, indeed, I had insurance, real live Blue Cross or whatever the name is now, a change came over the faces of all the hospital staff, and they all bowed to me as if the messiah had returned. Nothing that was demanded was denied thenceforth. But I am still trying to figure out whether they went with stainless or titanium, if I knew at the time, I would have insisted on titanium, doncha know.
TIB FIB! CHEM PANEL! GSW! SUBDURAL HEMATOMA! BAG HIM! CLEAR!! Flyin' the gurney down the hall and smashing through doors, like Clooney and Julianna Margulies! I love playing doctor.
It was fucking dramatic, you got the scene pretty close, except for all the cops taking my statement at the same time. And two liters of cold fucking saline because my blood pressure fell to shit and damn I got cold and just cried for blankets and morphine. And miss knowledge-absorber there just fascinated watching all the cutting and stitching going on.
yes, the insignia for my superhero alter-ego, The Hobbler! When the bad guys see me hobbling their way, they will know they have a few minutes to finish up before I get there!
Wait, wouldn't that actually make you The Hobbled? Hobbler sounds like you would actually do this to someone else.
I still like Hopalong, or what about THE CANE! ? Like, in all caps, it's more crusher and less old guy. Maybe?
Just stick with the Colonel, it works.
I'll have you know that you could bounce a quarter off my taut little buns. Well, not YOU per se, but it could be done. Well, at least before this period of incapacitation. Oh fuck, who am I kidding.
not exactly it, but actually better, would be Ry Cooder's "Music" which has songs and soundtracks. There was one part where I thought it might be him, but it wasn't..
I can't view any videos here at work… I tried linking for a written description of this one… but the host page offers none, it doens't serve the imagination well.. kind of like reading a transcript of Jerky Boys' schtick instead of listening to the real thing.
At my job, I get a passel of exception errors because our firewall blocks TMZ.com. No explanation, and it's not like I can't get other popular entertainment-based sites. So I'm guessing at my end, the TMZ video of Eastwood is sort of creating anaphylactic shock in my firewall
Well, this clarifies Romney's doubling down on his asshat comments and that cold hard killer look in his eyes: he comes from a long line of expiación de sangre asesinos.
Just an observation, but I am willing to bet that these people didn't care much about the violence as long as it stayed outside of their community. Their anger is coming more from the fact that the someone dared to attack one of them than it does from the fact that innocent lives have been taken by evil men.
good video series…thanks; asshat comments make me want to refrain from Wonkette for stretches of time to get away from the high school kids…yeah, yeah; I know…if I don't like the comments don't read them…I keep hoping that Wonkette will wander back to where it was a while back…bring back Anna Marie Cox to spank the current crew. Too cute by half.
Yes. Just, yes.
Phil is tiny and terrible though. Prom's just got some abhorrent musical taste, like Bongos and shit, but he does know a fuckload about the subject.
I saw Keith Moon (on youtubes, not at my house like I wish, obvs, even zombie Keith Moon) singing Barbra Ann the other day and he kicked ass, cause he was faking falsetto. He's really my only one though, except Octopus' Garden, Ringo kills me. So how about un-funny-taking themselves seriously drummers should not sing? I'll totally go along with that.
Miss Knowledge-Absorbers one AND two were RAPT. It was, let's say, shockingly interesting. And you did not cry, come on now, you just whined some, and made fun of everyone and everything, and we got real good at being stared at and and having to be seen as the "WHO and WHAT and WHY" of it alllllll. Such is life.
Time for your newest Vice video, Wonkers! There are four more before you are done forever. Which part will you whine about this time? (The hipster. You will whine about the hipster like you did in Part One and Part Two.)
{ 152 comments }
If I watch all seven of these do I get a Salma Hayeck?
I think you get a set of "shot" glasses.
The best binoculars ever.
Apparently the "Titty Twister" is staffed entirely by vampires.
ftw. You get the booby prize Psyc!
So, tits or GTFO?
Damn Cheech Marin for making that the meet-up spot. Clooney almost got kilt.
Yes, but watching Salma Hayek twirl her tassels every night more than makes up for eternal damnation.
Well shouldn't they call in Zorro to defend them. Makes about as much sense as the rest of the bullshit they believe.
The last one was disturbing. I'm not sure I wanna watch this.
No bodies in this one… you're clear.
Needs more Don Johnson, Philip Michael Thomas and pastel suits.
Complete with Don Henley nauseating theme music?
Jan Hammer.
Glenn Frye had that one hideous song
Don't forget Phil Collins and his annoying gated percussion that plagued pop music for a decade.
Gah Collins sucks horribly; really all the mellow pop music of the 80s did.
prommie comes over here and starts defending Phil Collins and we are gonna have to whoop him, you hear? Guy's got some weirdness about him.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Damn you Phil Collins!
Isn't Titty Twister the new name for Chuli's, where Not Jenna Bush was arrested?
"Chuy's," the Barton Springs location. Not Jenna AND Not Barbara got busted there….
http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2001-05-3…
Those people ought to learn American and call it Chuli's
Yer not from around here, is ya? Damn Yankees!
Isn't today 'talk like a hipster day', or some such shit?
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
No, it be Talk Like A Pirate Day, boy-o.
I was talking like a hipster before it was cool.
Dood…
Isn't it ironic, dontcha think?
A little too Ironic.
i was talking like a pirate before it was cool.
oh. wait…
Righteous….
I wish I was in
Tijuana
Eating barbecued iguana.
I'd take requests on the telephone
Dog bless Stanard Ridgeway. He's still making tunes.
Just drive.
Can't understand just what did he say?
O.K., ya got me.
I'm playing it.
~
I still miss Kingpin. Might've been the last time I enjoyed network-provided — as well as controversial-content-launched and soon thereafter snuf'd out — television drama.
Ol' Jose "El Rikin" (what does that mean?) Escajeda, High-Ranking Boss of the Juarez Cartel, looks to be about 22 years old and also looks like he has a touch of the Down's-brush. I guess all the older cartelistas have slaughtered each other?
Sorta looks like "Ol' Jerkin'" when your write it that way.
What's worse than a tornado? – a TITTIE TWISTER!!!!!
I feel like I'm in 3rd grade again….
OUCH! I'm gonna tell the teacher.
Did you get a purple nurple?
Just leave my purple toupee alone.
I remember the year I went to camp …
I am totally digging these. I can't wait to see how he connects all this to Romney.
Well, obviously, if people are getting hacked, Romney only cares about the percent of the remaining body that can vote for him.
That would be the 53%, right?
but since they are Mexican citizens, they can't vote … oh … wait … nevermind
So even our Mexican brethern despise Joseph Smith's brood?
I think they call them Espalda Mojada.
The priests weren't happy see the boys leave.
OT: "Our long national nightmare is over."
Chicken!!!1!
That's stretching a point.
Wow, there are going to be some really pissed off fat white folks.
Don;t worry – nothing soothes that rage like supersized portions of factory chicken boiled in grease.
Fag-lovers! That means they're gay!
Good to know – I thought it meant they were secret, behind the garbage can, cigarette junkies….
I have a few relatives that are weeping in distress right now. The kind of distress caused when you find out that most people disagree with you.
YES, beyotches! We won!
I just changed my gravatar! Or tried to, I am so excited, its like going out in a fancy new outfit for the first time! Someone tell me it worked, I can't tell if it worked!
Is it an X ray of a broken fibia?
Tibia, my man! A nailed, fixed oblique fracture. Its my very own and I am very proud of it.
Fucking obamacare. You should be forced to live gimpy for the rest of your life. And maybe get gangrene.
In a Romney Amercia, he'd be staked out for vultures to peck at.
Let him die!!!1!1!
True story, when, in the hospital, I told them that yes, indeed, I had insurance, real live Blue Cross or whatever the name is now, a change came over the faces of all the hospital staff, and they all bowed to me as if the messiah had returned. Nothing that was demanded was denied thenceforth. But I am still trying to figure out whether they went with stainless or titanium, if I knew at the time, I would have insisted on titanium, doncha know.
TIB FIB! CHEM PANEL! GSW! SUBDURAL HEMATOMA! BAG HIM! CLEAR!! Flyin' the gurney down the hall and smashing through doors, like Clooney and Julianna Margulies! I love playing doctor.
It was fucking dramatic, you got the scene pretty close, except for all the cops taking my statement at the same time. And two liters of cold fucking saline because my blood pressure fell to shit and damn I got cold and just cried for blankets and morphine. And miss knowledge-absorber there just fascinated watching all the cutting and stitching going on.
Sleek.
I still think that looks like an album cover or super-villain leotard chest insignia. Nice legs.
yes, the insignia for my superhero alter-ego, The Hobbler! When the bad guys see me hobbling their way, they will know they have a few minutes to finish up before I get there!
Wait, wouldn't that actually make you The Hobbled? Hobbler sounds like you would actually do this to someone else.
I still like Hopalong, or what about THE CANE! ? Like, in all caps, it's more crusher and less old guy. Maybe?
Just stick with the Colonel, it works.
As you wish, General.
I thought it was was one of those triple-blade razor do-hickeys.
(Gotta get my glasses changed!)
It did work. I can't think of abandoning Nipper.
Right? Killy, the Rapture-Avenging Cat, is like my alter ego. I could never swap him out.
Though, for a small rehoming fee…………………
You have just crushed all the dudes who were following you because they thought you were an '80s starlet.
I always got more dudes who knew damn well I was a dude, actually.
Haha, she's still a starlet on my computer; no change yet. *fapfapfap*
I think you can get "Up The Creek" on netflix on demand. She's the only female in the movie who does not show her tits. A classy lady, she is!
Great! It doesn't make your ass look fat or anything!
Well, fatTER, you mean.
I'll have you know that you could bounce a quarter off my taut little buns. Well, not YOU per se, but it could be done. Well, at least before this period of incapacitation. Oh fuck, who am I kidding.
I am of the age that if someone tried to bounce a quarter off my buns, it would break. Or, I'd break a hip.
Hipster!!
It worked.
made it to 1:60.
Local telling the story….
"he [victims BIL] came over here, literally in sandals…."
Our hero….
"So he shows up barefoot….."
cacti…..
The Messicans don't like the LDS around because the self-righteousness is harshin' their buzz.
Even with a picture of a nudie bar, finding this hard to fap along with.
not exactly it, but actually better, would be Ry Cooder's "Music" which has songs and soundtracks. There was one part where I thought it might be him, but it wasn't..
I haven't had much to say today….and this doesn't help.
I'm like you, Jim. I attribute it to exhaustion and sensory overload.
To be in the LDS it helps if your on LSD.That way it does not seem as stupid.
Maybe the Mormon Mexicans should sew hoodies to their magical underroos to protect from beheadings.
Now the image of Mormons in their suits with hoodies has got me giggling.
have we fried your very last nerve yet mom?
Where are the cliff notes?
© William S. Burroughs
This is NEVER going to win an Emmy or anything, but it makes me want to have a couple of Pacificos and some carne asada tacos….not sure why.
"Which part will you whine about this time?"
I think I will whine about the part where it's been almost two hours since this was posted and no new posts.
Maybe our Editrix has been taken hostage… by a piARRRRRRate!
I know. I am shaking and sweating. Loud noise make me bolt. I am hearing voices. I can't handle this. I just can't. I won't.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson albums
OHGOD! PLEASE POST SOMETHING!!!!!!!
I'm almost actually doing some work! Heaven help me!
I can't view any videos here at work… I tried linking for a written description of this one… but the host page offers none, it doens't serve the imagination well.. kind of like reading a transcript of Jerky Boys' schtick instead of listening to the real thing.
Polygamous Sect vs. Cartels
Intrade is no longer taking bets on this contest.
Any one have a fix for the script error thing? Do I need to talk to my network admin?
I had that happen at my home computer last night and this morning. I'm not having any trouble with my work computer. I wonder wtf is up.
Hmmmm. I didn't check the site at home. It is sure annoying here. Cutting down on my Wonkette productivity.
At my job, I get a passel of exception errors because our firewall blocks TMZ.com. No explanation, and it's not like I can't get other popular entertainment-based sites. So I'm guessing at my end, the TMZ video of Eastwood is sort of creating anaphylactic shock in my firewall
Really weird.
Can you send a screenshot please, also browser etc?
I like the hipster.
NEEDZ MOAR BEHEADINGS!!!
Poison the Tequila, morans!
/Gus Fring'd
¡Ay, caramba!
Well, this clarifies Romney's doubling down on his asshat comments and that cold hard killer look in his eyes: he comes from a long line of expiación de sangre asesinos.
Oh, Mitty! Chu gots some 'splainin to do!
We're all parasites now. And proud of it.
[Hey, didja know you can thumbs up yourself -- no, not in that way (yet), perv -- when not logged on? Sweet.]
Mormons are allowed to say "stupid shit"? I can't figure who is who. They all look like illegals to me.
Can I make a Breaking Bad joke?
No, I can't.
Just an observation, but I am willing to bet that these people didn't care much about the violence as long as it stayed outside of their community. Their anger is coming more from the fact that the someone dared to attack one of them than it does from the fact that innocent lives have been taken by evil men.
Obviously they are part of the 47%, so who cares?
What's going on with that neon sign's face? Faceless isn't sexy, regardless of how swirly its rack is.
good video series…thanks; asshat comments make me want to refrain from Wonkette for stretches of time to get away from the high school kids…yeah, yeah; I know…if I don't like the comments don't read them…I keep hoping that Wonkette will wander back to where it was a while back…bring back Anna Marie Cox to spank the current crew. Too cute by half.
Apparently there's a Titty Twister bar in Thailand, too.
It's just a lot smaller.
//rimshot
Who? Phil "Lemme me fax you my divorce request, baby" Collins or Prommie?
Drummers should never be allowed to sing.
Yes. Just, yes.
Phil is tiny and terrible though. Prom's just got some abhorrent musical taste, like Bongos and shit, but he does know a fuckload about the subject.
Someone stuck their finger in the president's ear, and just a few months later they came out with Johnson's wax!
I saw Keith Moon (on youtubes, not at my house like I wish, obvs, even zombie Keith Moon) singing Barbra Ann the other day and he kicked ass, cause he was faking falsetto. He's really my only one though, except Octopus' Garden, Ringo kills me. So how about un-funny-taking themselves seriously drummers should not sing? I'll totally go along with that.
KAREN CARPENTER LIBEL!!!!!!
Henley's a-ight. So's Grohl. I might add, McCartney's current drummer sings backup vox as well.
Levon Helm was not only allowed to sing, he had to sing "The Weight" and "Dixie Down" so it sounded more authentic.
LEVON HELM LIBEL!
I'll agree with you, but only because you can put your feet behind your head.
You might not be surprised just how often I DO get my way like that.
Sorry, but unless you can put your feet behind your head I am going to have to disagree.
You too actor.
I forgot about Dave, now that he's a guitar guy mostly. But oh heck yeah he can shout sing beautifully.
I am Naked Squirrel. That is also my radio handle.
Over and out.
Phhht. With actual insurance you shoulda got the gold plated, diamond encrusted pin in your leg. Medical bling is the new thing that I just made up.
you can always ask the tsa.
Can I total a car to do it?
So if I change my avatar to Gabby Douglas, you will be my willing lackey?
Holy shit does that mean what I think it means? Man thats too much.
It means whatever you want it to mean. That's the beauty of it.
And a blow job. You should always get a blow job if you have insurance.
I think I missed the original story (although I did see the NAILING VIDEO, thanks)…
So there was some sort of dramatic incident that led to this hobbling, not merely the degeneration and humiliation of age?
In honor of your new avatar, Mr. Tibs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGi-VHwJ8os
Both the bass and horn lines are INSANE.
Miss Knowledge-Absorbers one AND two were RAPT. It was, let's say, shockingly interesting. And you did not cry, come on now, you just whined some, and made fun of everyone and everything, and we got real good at being stared at and and having to be seen as the "WHO and WHAT and WHY" of it alllllll. Such is life.
We have us a great story, and if we could get through that, we are golden.
Comments on this entry are closed.