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Hey, everybody cannot be good at everything. Che Guevara, for instance, was very good at being sexy and riding his motorcycle and killing people, but very bad at being Minister of Factories or whatever for Cuba. His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, in the meantime, is very good at having been born to a wealthy, powerful man, but very bad at being Mr. Manager! Take, for example, every decision he has ever made, but especially the decision to let an 82-year-old man give a primetime speech, without a script.

Who else thinks Mitt Romney is bad at his job? Just Clint Eastwood, in the video above, who says (the question starts at 1:51) that anybody who’s “dumb enough” to ask him to speak at their convention is gonna get a FISTFUL OF EASTWOOD, that’s right, and there’s nothing they can do about it! Then he says he likes Obama fine, whatever, and he’s for multiracialism and multiculturalism, so he is not a racist, which is good to hear. We hate having our sexxxy pictures taken with racists.

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  • ChernobylSoup

    That made my day.

  • PuckStopsHere

    I presume Mr. Eastwood is addressing an empty chair, again?

  • nounverb911

    Clint's empty chair is more qualified than Mitt.

    • JustPixelz

      And has more support.

      • Negropolis

        And more legs to stand on.

    • lulzmonger

      Also, the chair/death-squad-financing link is nebulous at best.

  • Crank_Tango

    I guess we should have all known this was a joke from the moment we saw the words (?) Reince Pribus.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Is that what this has all been? Some kind of uber-performance art?

      • Herman Cain hasn't even bothered pretending it isn't, since he dropped out.

      • Crank_Tango

        Put it this way: we've never seen Andy Kaufman and any of these yahoos together at the same time, have we?

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      Hey, you can't spell Ceebin Reiurps without Reince Priebus!!

      • Crank_Tango

        I don't think I'd even try!

  • YasserArraFeck

    Lindsey Graham and Marcus Bachmann want to hear more about that fistful of Eastwood

  • Come here a minute

    Clint Eastwood also thinks Mitt Romney needs to work on the location of his split-finger fastball.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    You know, if you could get Barney Frank and Clint together in the same room, you'd be 2/3rds of the way to a dinette set.

  • rocktonsam

    so the 47 percent have offshore accounts too?

    • JustPixelz

      Probably. The 1% and the 47% may also have that in common.

  • bflrtsplk

    Mitt`s empty chair is more qualified than Mitt.

  • SorosBot

    So apparently Romney is unforgiven.

    • emmelemm


      • SorosBot

        You know, Mittens would do just about anything for a few dollars more.

        • emmelemm

          Actually (and yes, I do get the reference, BUT) the first thing my mind did was start playing Metallica.

    • anniegetyerfun

      He's a (multi) million dollar baby, that's for sure.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Up a Mystic River without a paddle.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I'd like to work in a Kelly's Heroes reference in here somehow, but I can't figure out…


    • ThankYouJeebus

      His campaign just won the dead pool.

    • UnholyMoses

      He's got the Romney campaign going any which way but loose …

    • viennawoods13

      Mitt can talk to the trees…of just the right height.

    • lulzmonger

      People in his own party have started treating him like a man with no name.

  • neiltheblaze

    I choose to believe that he torpedoed Romney on purpose because he thinks he's a dick.

    Until someone proves otherwise, that's my delusion and I'm sticking with it.

    • You're not the only one!

      (We can be delusional together.)

      • Not_Mother

        Billionaires For Wealthcare (the formally attired folks that visit OWS rallies occasionally) had these remarks up the next day.

        "Of all the fuck-ups the Romney campaign has produced, this took the cake. They were duped into thinking Clint Eastwood would endorse Romney with a speech. Instead, the Clint Eastwood of Kelly's Heroes went behind enemy lines and infiltrated the convention and blew it up.

        "Eastwood took the stage, and in a novel bit of performance art rivaling Andy Kaufman, talked to an empty chair, pretending Obama was sitting in it. The convention is now in ruins. Mitt's big night is laying at the bottom of the Eastwood rubble, as it's the only thing people are talking about.

        "Well done, Mr. President. Once again, you outfoxed all your opponents. Don Barzini is dead. So is Phillip Tattaglia. Moe Greene. Hyman Roth. The RNC Convention: Today you settled all family business. You truly are a ninja master."

    • You probably wouldn't be too far off the mark. Eastwood's an asshole, but he's reported to dislike pretentious assholes. He's also been enjoying himself way too much about this. The last time he opened his yap he was going on about how, at his age, he can say whatever he damn well wants and if anybody doesn't like it they know where to shove it, and I paraphrase. Of course, the alacrity with which Mitt&Co threw him under the bus couldn't possibly have done him any good, either.

      • ProgressiveInga

        And he has a new movie out so, there's that. ALL publicity is good publicity, etc.

      • bobbert

        Unfortunately, an asshole that dislikes some other assholes is still an asshole. And so is Clint.

        • I'm not defending him, just recognizing a fellow curmudgeon.

    • ChuckieJesus

      Like Mulder, I WANT TO BELIEVE

  • Lt Dirty Clint Eastwood is obviously no longer in Communion with God for whatever reason.

    Neither is that romney fellow….if he ever was

    • Guppy

      It's the whole "transubstantiation" debate all over again: did the chair represent Obama, or become Obama?

  • chascates

    Rowdy Yates is rowdy.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Play Fisty for Me.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      LOL, I already did that joke on the naked pool party w/sex acts thread this AM.

      • emmelemm

        To be fair, it's a good joke.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I was just playing it for upfists…

          • emmelemm

            I'm an upfist slut. I upfist all comments except blatantly troll-y comments, and even then sometimes I upfist them before I read them.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Dang. I missed-y that one. Sorry…

  • nounverb911

    That picture has the look of someone's day being made.

  • coolhandnuke

    Play Mittsy For Me Clint.

    • SmutBoffin


  • I KNEW IT!!!!

  • BadKitty904

    He also wants Romney to get off of his lawn.

  • smitallica

    High Plains Shifter

  • HogeyeGrex

    "You fucked up. You trusted us."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Clyde the Orang-utan was smarter than that guy."

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "Clyde, scrap the Mittsy."

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "Right wing, Clyde"

  • facehead

    Is that a photo of Eastwood with his new trophy wife?

    • Arkoday

      Nah…just the Editrix photoshopping.

      • TavariousChinaSmith

        Schoenkopf Libel!

    • kittensdontlie

      Yes it is, and how she has aged him! With her need for continual sexing(and probably shopping too), his making-sexy mind is gone, and his body is soon to follow.

  • ChernobylSoup

    I can't stop wondering what he needs Obama to pardon him for.

    • Wadisay

      Shorter version: Please, Mr. Obama, don't take my ass out with a drone strike.

  • Did you ask him to sing They Call the Wind Mariah?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I can smell the onion on his belt from here.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Which was the style at the time.

    • sudsmckenzie

      I'm not clicking on that, cause in my mind he's about to explain what that cloud did that pissed him off.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Back in my day we didn't have billion dollar SuperPACs. When we wanted to really hit a candidate where it hurt, we would tell long rambling stories that went nowhere.

  • no_gravity

    The Republicans thought that they were getting John Wayne with Clint Eastwood.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      John Wayne was a fag.

      • HogeyeGrex

        I installed two way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood.

      • sullivanst

        Well, whatdya expect from a guy named Marion?

      • no_gravity

        So how is he different from every other conservative Republican?

      • Duke libel!!

    • Guppy

      The oft-repeated story is that John Wayne wasn't entirely popular with The (Greatest) Troops.

  • StealthMuslin

    Mitt Romney's only remaining hope is that sometime between now and November Barry rapes and murders a white woman.

    • Geminisunmars

      In public.

      • Warwhatgoodfor

        At high noon. Outside the local TV station.

        • Geminisunmars

          Viewed by thousands in bleachers, set up expressly for this event.

      • Negropolis

        With votes, of course.

    • Charlie_Foxtrot

      Or gets caught bustin' up a chifferobe.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    Mitten's prediction for the economy: "There will be growth in the Spring."

    • BadKitty904


      Dang, now I'm going to have to watch that again. :0/

    • ProgressiveInga

      Jerzey Kosinski libel!

      "I like to watch….."

    • LibrarianX


  • BaldarTFlagass

    I can't see that video; is Clint telling us that he Rick-rolled the Republicans? Because if that's the case, that is fucking awesome.

    • neiltheblaze

      Alas, no – he likes Romney well enough – at least that's what he's saying…. Uh-huh.

  • arihaya

    They should have let Romney's only other celebrity endorser, Jenna Jameson, gave the primetime speech

    • Serolf_Divad

      Seriously, Jenna Jameson twirling on a stripper pole while yelling "Vote for Mitt!" would have made for a less disastrous GOP convention than Clint Eastwood arguing with an empty chair. (Though maybe a bit less entertaining for Wonkette readers and John Stewart).

    • Or perhaps try to woo back some of the Supremes and invite John Cook?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Would have been waaaaay more fun if they'd gotten Chuck Norris and his wife-bot. They do fantastic political commentary for the GOP.

  • missemish

    Trump is critiquing as well. Oh dear.

    Romney makes me think of that line from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.:
    Rosencrantz: I see. Not much new there!
    Guildenstern: [shouting] Well, go into detail! Delve!

  • HogeyeGrex

    Also, too: It looks like it was Jimmy Carter IV who let loose with the Romney "Dickishness On Parade" video.

    Yes, as in grandson of the former Pres.

    Revenge of Carter. LOL.

    • JohnnyQuick

      Lil James: Tha Carter 4

    • comrad_darkness

      Dickishness on Parade Part 1. There are a lot of multipart video extravaganzas going around today.

  • Baconzgood

    I think it's time for Clint to bow out gracefully.

  • anniegetyerfun

    My husband was 100% convinced that Eastwood's performance was a ploy to help Obama and I told him that he was so, so wrong. And now I have to apologize. Fuck you, Clint. I thought you were simply demented.

    • kittensdontlie

      Clint's endorsement is Mitt's best-to-date:

      'Vote for the dumb republicans'.

    • Barrelhse

      Great news- read Love Story- You never have to say "I'm Sorry"!

    • bobbert

      No. Clint is just an old asshole.

  • i have a problem with the situation we're in right now

    so does mitt clint, so does mitt.

  • LibertyLover

    Rush Limbaugh advised Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney to double down on his controversial remarks made at a closed-door fundraiser that Obama voters are "dependent on government."

    On Tuesday's show, Limbaugh repeatedly said that the newly-unearthed video is a "golden opportunity" for the Republican candidate and that he doesn't care how the media is covering it.

    Golden opportunity? or Golden Shower?

    • anniegetyerfun

      To Rush, these are one and the same.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Well, Rush has been saying the same shit as Romney said in that video for over 20 years, so why would he advise any differently?

    • SorosBot

      Oh please Mitt listen to Rush here, keep insulting the majority of the American people.

    • OneYieldRegular

      If Romney deliberately killed a cute little puppy at a campaign rally Rush would think it was a brilliant political move on Mitt's part and showed him to be "Presidential."

      • LibertyLover

        I'm thinking that Rush is sounding a little desperate. Of course, he's part of the upper 1% that thinks so poorly of all Americans.

        • miss_grundy

          Even though those are his most devoted listeners and followers…

  • I'm pretty sure that watching the Republicans melt down into molten slag is the most fun I've ever had.

    I'll cherish these days, always.

    • NellCote71

      I could not have scripted this better myself. And I thought the McCain-Palin fiasco could not be topped for political entertainment.

    • I take nothing for granted. Stupid people cast stupid votes and there are lots of stupid people around. Don't forget: Steve King and Darrell Issa managed to get elected to office. And someone somewhere is watching "Jersey Shore."

  • Clint Eastwood, troll or GREATEST Troll.

    • Guppy

      Only if he broke out with "Never Gonna Give You Up" on the RNC stage.

      • pepperpat

        While moonwalking.

        • Gleem McShineys

          And Keyboard Cat playing him off.

  • LibertyLover

    Why is Clint sitting on the chair instead of talking to it?

    • kittensdontlie

      "If you can't beat them, better to join them…errr….it.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Maybe he's just saying it because he wants the 47% to see his movie that wasn't going to.

  • Veritas78

    Aaaaaand, on Wednesday, Ann Romney confides that "If he hadn't paid me $1 million cash, I would never have done that stupid speech. 'I love women?' What, do I look like a lezbo?"

    "And he hasn't gotten hard in twenty years. If he loses, I am so out of here."

    • NellCote71

      She will never leave that sweet, sweet money.

      • comrad_darkness

        She'd have to get a job, and move into a significantly higher tax bracket. Poor dear.

  • gullywompr

    You don't look all that ripped in that photo.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Che Guevara, for instance, was very good at being sexy and riding his motorcycle and killing people

    This sounds like the kind of job I might enjoy. Where do I apply?

    • ChernobylSoup

      Tel Aviv. Most of your targets will be in Iran. Physicists and the like.

      • anniegetyerfun

        I will expect my yearly bonus to be paid out in baklava.

    • Guppy

      Alas, our job creators are too overtaxed to order hits on their competitors.

    • LibertyLover

      You could try Mexico, apparently, there's beheadings down there too. And you could even fight with a Mormon or two.

    • miss_grundy

      Palacio Municipal, El Capitolio, Havana, Cuba

  • Mitt — Every Which Way but Clued.

    • But who needs clued, when you have Clyde?

      • Clyde's okay, but I'd rather have the gorilla my dreams.

        • It's a rough looking meat market out there.
          Even on the homefront, Ma Gordon confuses her "baboons" with those from… another Planet, maybe.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Well….I guess Ted Nugent and Hank Williams Jr still like Mittens.

    • Geminisunmars

      Maybe. Better ask them.

  • Misty Malarky

    Clint went all Beguiled on the RNC.

  • Wait, why is he sitting in the chair instead of talking to it?

  • JohnnyQuick

    Still think the movies he's directed mostly suck. As the RNC saw, he's better at performance

    • Barrelhse

      I agree, except for the great movie "A Perfect World."

  • So, in the end, all the Conservatives who said that Clint was really a Democrat when he made the "Halftime in America" ad for Chrysler were right?

    For once, a conspiracy theory I approve of.

    • kittensdontlie

      Under his thin R-candy coating, is his rich D-nougat.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Then he says he likes Obama fine, whatever, and he’s for multiracialism and multiculturalism, so he is not a racist, which is good to hear.

    Well, what do you expect from a Transcendental Meditation-practicing, vegan-eating, non-smoking Buddhist?

    • Has anyone demanded Clint's long form birth certificate?

      • emmelemm

        He'll get to the voting booth and they'll go, "Geez, we thought you were dead. You're on the death rolls right here…"

    • emmelemm

      Sounds like my kinda dude.

      • Yeah, but he is supporting Romney.

        • emmelemm

          Or… is he?

          Greatest troll, or greatest troll EVER?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Well, in his little chair monologue, he was breaking Obama's balls for not closing Gitmo and ending the Afghan war like he promised. So in that way, he's in agreement with the rest of us libtards.

    • HistoriCat

      In other words, Obama is Unforgiven?

    • BlueStateLibel

      That was strange and made me wonder when he said it. The cons I know love Gitmo and warring in Afghanistan.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Script error, repeatedly. No, not Clint. When I click. Argh.

    • LibertyLover

      REboot. REboot. REboot.

    • Barrelhse

      It may be your penmanship.

  • OneYieldRegular

    This is what happens when you take elderly people for granted.

  • RadioX

    The whole last couple of days have been like a bad acid trip.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Bad for who?

    • ProgressiveInga

      Dennis Miller, is that you?

    • Barrelhse

      Did you eat the brown acid?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Well, it sounds like Romney was having a little trouble with the Clint Curve….

  • Eve8Apples

    Maybe Clint checked his tax returns, remembered he is in the 47% and now knows Mitt doesn't give a rat's ass about him.

    • Guppy

      If the standard is "doesn't pay income tax," General Electric is in the 47 %.

  • Eve8Apples


    Is Clint Eastwood now doing fact checks for Wonkette? If so, I like it.

    • lulzmonger

      Go ahead … cite my input.

  • all the pictures bbc is running recently look like mittbot is about to cry.

    • Barrelhse

      If he's in a picture with a BBC his campaign may be in trouble, not to mention his marriage.

  • TootsStansbury

    With Willard stepping in it left and right, are we approaching the Snarkularity?

    • LibertyLover

      He was thinking: "This isn't how it was supposed to go."

    • littlebigdaddy

      The Rapture of the Wonksters?!

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog


    • Barrelhse

      The event is just over the horizon.

  • mavenmaven

    Sununu will soon attack Eastwood on the air for being a peasant.

    • Barrelhse

      Mitt must be proud to have such a detestable pig as Sununu for a surrogate.

  • Exhausted66

    Nothing like needing a movie to open to get a Hollywood type to Romney on a stance.

  • rickmaci

    Clit Dickwood sees the handwriting on the wall for him now that that Romoney has proved he is an idiot and Obama will be re-elected. No more Oscars or that Presidential medal thingy except maybe posthumous. Time to work on getting POTUS and everyone else to let bygones be bygones. Sort of hahahahaha, didn't mean it. LOL. Yah, right. Good luck with that one Clit. Just tell the Midiott, it's not personal, it's business.

  • Callyson

    "People loved it or hated it"

    Yes, we Democrats did love it, now that you mention it…

  • TribecaMike

    Edited out was the part where Clint broke down and began blubbering like a baby because Morgan Freeman won't return his calls.

  • Thank you, editrix, for posting a video that I could watch for more than one second.

  • Left Turn, Clyde?

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Socialist Orangutan Libel!!!!

  • Woodshedding

    "I'd like to see politicians spend less time on TV…" So he wants soundbites cut from three words down to one?

  • Fox n Fiends

    Perhaps Mr. Eastwood's friends in Congress should spend a little more time in the office until they can pass a bill that the President will fucking sign.

  • rickmaci

    Twitt thinks it would be easier for him to win if he were Latino. Mittinez? Given all the beaner illegals who have been elected POTUS, I can see how it would be easy for him to draw that conclusion.

    • miss_grundy

      Considering that the Republicans believe anyone with a Hispanic/Latino surname is a "terrorist", I doubt Mittens could win as a Latino. If that had been the case, why didn't he have the cubiche, Marco Rubio as his running mate?

  • BarackMyWorld

    I still admire Eastwood's body of work, and really admire Rebeccca's body of body.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Seconded. Both of them.

  • Sue4466

    Anyone else think Clint is working for Obama?

    • NellCote71

      I think the entire Romney campaign is working for the wily Kenyan.

    • lulzmonger


  • thefrontpage

    Here is more from the interview, according to exclusive transcripts provided by Extra TV, which conducted the interview with Deadwood:

    Extra: Deadwood, what else would you like to add, on the political front?

    Deadwood: Front? Or back? You never hear about the political back! Well, on the political front, or back, I just want to say—I love peanut butter. And I love broccoli. And I bet I'm the only person you know who loves to put peanut butter on broccoli! I actually like the old spaghetti westerns that I did. Maybe I should do another one. Yes, of course there are little green men on Earth–I've seen them. I also believe in gnomes, goblins and gremlins. I have a whole family of lawn gnomes living in my front lawn. I'm the only one who sees them. I love this weather. What city are we in? GET OFF MY LAWN, DAMMIT. I think I'm going to make one more film, 'Titanic–The Musical.' Screw Cameron's piece of dung–that was a hack job. Mine will be the real story, with music. I have to go. It's 4:30, and it's dinner time. What? Okay, goodbye. GET OFF MY LAWN!"

  • sati_demise

    Clint is so jealous of Barry.

    Wants to keep him off tv and in his office where he belongs.

  • nowave

    Hmm… Looks a lot like a hypocrite with a crappy sentimental movie to sell/rescue in the wake of everyone thinking he's an asshole. Amy Adams is so pissed at Clint.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      ALL baseball movies are just sentimental as hell. And if that makes them crappy, well, I'm going to watch them anyway.

      Never seen a crappy sentimental baseball movie I didn't like.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    Thank god for Depends.

  • Redgyal
  • VinnyThePooh

    "Left turn, Clyde."

  • Warwhatgoodfor

    Oh my sweet bleeding roids. Hemmoroids that is. Here I have been quietly (more or less) lusting in my heart for Becca without actually how old she is/how she looks. Now I get an actual non fixed up pic of her, and OMG. Sorry, just back from the quiet of my bathroom. I would eagerly arm wrestle that old duffer Clint for the right to be her next, well, you know. If you do, please update me, since honest to god I still like looking at pretty ladies, but damned if I can remember why.. Anyway, uh, he's older than dirt, and I'm young enough to be his son. Of something. A bitch, you know. Whoa.

  • Negropolis

    It really does take one to know one, huh?

  • ttommyunger

    I can tell from your smile what you're thinking, Becca; but face it, if you tried to introduce him to that fine little pussy of yours, all he would do is talk to it.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Dude's 84 year old. Used to do all his own stunts, sure, but 80-freakin-4 years old.

      Becs probably had to help him just to get to his chair.

      • ttommyunger

        I've learned it is all too often the image, not the man, that perchance makes a lady wet.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

        • Calapine

          I think we shouldn't talk about other people's love-life like this behind their backs. It's creepy!

          Also, isn't Ms. Editrix more interested in the ladies, or have I been misunderstanding things?

          • ttommyunger

            I specialize in “creepy”; have not mentioned love. I suspect our Editrix is an omnivore of the first order, at least I hope she is.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    A new idea of a movie – Dumber of a Fistful of Rocks

  • worrierqueen

    Republicans don't need an opposition, just youtube.

  • LionHeartSoyDog

    I hope that Dina Ruiz is not getting A Fistfull of Eastwood, because at one time, she was the prettiest newsreader in all of Monterey County.

  • AznMom420

    Does this mean we can book Eastwood for the DNC and OWS and Cinco De Mayo next year?

  • Smithboy

    Eastwood is backtracking since his attempt to be cute fell flat. This hey if they are stupid enough to hire me sounds like a lame excuse to blame someone else for his tone deaf shtick.

  • miss_grundy

    Sure, after making his comments about Obama at the RNC, he is now doing marketing for his new film which comes out on Friday and he has to have the Obama-lovers pay for their tickets or else he won't win the Box Office Derby. Yeah, like I'm going to believe he likes Obama, a-huh……

  • DahBoner

    Che was good at making t-shirts, but bad at talking to empty chairs…

  • miss_grundy

    Unfortunately, a lot of those forty-seven percenters vote Republican, so they still think of Clint as a hero and a man's man.

    I think he just did this to win over the Obama voters. After all, he wants the Box Office Derby crown this weekend.

    • He wants Teh Win! I think of him as a middlingly good director. And an annoying old codger.

  • Yellerdawg

    I liked the part of the speech where he said Obama should have consulted the Russians before invading Afghanistan. Boldest re-write of history ever.

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