the traditional one year gift is handcuffs

The Police Remembered Occupy Wall Street’s One Year Anniversary!!!


Last year, it took Occupy less than three weeks to reallocate $2 million in government-funded aid to working men and women in New York City, in the form of overtime pay to the city’s police department. This year, some in the movement hope to achieve this goal sooner — and judging from the police turnout on Occupy’s one year anniversary, they stand a good chance of meeting their goal!

It’s always nice when the dominant partner in a very hetero-normative relationship goes “all out” for an anniversary, and this year the police did not disappoint. “As usual, they brought Occupy some pretty police horses and cute police dogs.” Commissioner Ray Kelly’s NYPD is rumored to have splurged on a secret signal jammer to cut into Occupy’s livestream feed. The Associated Press is reporting that the police have arrested somewhere around 180 people (the NYT is saying 185), including about five journalists, wheelchair-bound Americans, one goth girl, and a fucking legal observer from The National Lawyers’ Guild: an act of puckish over-exuberance tantamount to capturing a Red Cross nurse as a POW. The police also gave a 99% bro a ride in a shopping cart.

And this to say nothing of the piles of hunky, eye candy in uniform, (see video above) all of whom will be injecting their excess overtime wages into the first small business they find.

As you all know, working and lower-middle-class households are among the most likely to spend any additional income (like that TIME-AND-A-HALF OVERTIME, BABY!) immediately and locally on necessity goods. In New York, rookie cops make roughly $42k annually — with a chance to incrementally reach the maximum salary of $76,488 over five-and-a-half years — placing them squarely in this category (particularly, if they are the primary earner of a large household). Their spending then cascades through the local economy, enacting what Keynesian economists call a “money multiplier effect.”

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With #S17, the Occupy movement is once again doing what President Obama and Congress can not or will not do: providing the extra economic stimulus Americans need to get our country running again!

Welcome back, oh ye faithful, delusional idealists! Live Free or Die Hard!

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89 comments

  1. ChernobylSoup

    Did the police offer any justification for their activities other than they've got badges, little dicks, and couldn't hack it in the military?

    1. M. Bouffant

      Sadly, more & more of current police officers were in the military, & are putting the Counter Insurgency tactics learned on the other side of the world to use right here at home.

    1. YasserArraFeck

      Sorry, but that trickle-down is Patrolman O'Malley pissing on you while O'Shaughnessy and Rocco hold you down

  2. Callyson

    Jesus, that guy has to get up at 7 AM, so he expects the city to be quiet at 8:30 PM?

    1. When is it ever quiet in New York City?

    2. Hasn't he heard of earplugs?

    3. How much sleep does a person need FFS?

    (ETA: aw, that was nice of you to buy earplugs for him…)

  3. LastGasp

    … the police have arrested somewhere around 180 people (the NYT is saying 185), including about five journalists, wheelchair-bound Americans, one goth girl, and a fucking legal observer from The National Lawyers’ Guild.

    I guess the NYPD has an arrest quota, why else would they be arresting such harmless people?

    1. mrpuma2u

      These dirty hippies/commie priests/street scum are guilty of the worst sort of crimes, THOUGHT crimes (they think Bloombergermeister is an asshole), and are therefore extremely dangerous and most like in league with muslin extremist types.

  4. Callyson

    Also, OT alert–the fight is not over yet:

    The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has ordered a lower court to revisit its decision that allowed the new voter ID law to remain in effect for the November elections.
    If Commonwealth Court finds the state's implementation of the law will disenfranchise voters in November, the high court has ordered it to issue an injunction.

    http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/state/p

  5. SorosBot

    Well it's not like the people have a constitutional right to assemble or to petition the Government for a redress of grievances or anything.

    1. Negropolis

      Yeah, but I'm sure the authorities would have no problem with them Standing Their Ground, because, the most holy Second Amendment, right?

  6. PhilippePetain

    We all know that the ulterior motive behind #Occupy was to keep mace and baton distributors confortably in the middle class.

  7. hagajim

    New York, rookie cops make roughly $42k annually — with a chance to incrementally reach the maximum salary of $76,488

    How are these poors gonna protect Mittens? Why they aren't even close to middle class.

    1. Callyson

      That's *it*? No snark, that's a pittance considering how tough their job is.

      I feel for the good cops–and I hope there still are some…

      1. actor212

        That's the thing: you ask any of the cops, and they'll tell you to a man they don't disagree with the protests, but a job's a job.

        The thing OWS has to do is to get them to see past that. I had hopes when that one retired captain joined them last winter that he'd get a few, and maybe it kept some heads from being bashed in, but not as many as I'd hoped.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Topping out at 77k makes them what? Like, way lower class if 250 is middle, right? So definitely, fuck these 47%ers all thinking they are entitled to eat.

  8. kittensdontlie

    The white-shirted protester of the protesters, is absolutely a Mormon missionary. Without his tie, he figured he would be unrecognizable as such.

  9. actor212

    As you all know, working and lower-middle-class households are among the most likely to spend any additional income (like that TIME-AND-A-HALF OVERTIME, BABY!) immediately and locally on necessity goods. In New York, rookie cops make roughly $42k annually — with a chance to incrementally reach the maximum salary of $76,488 over five-and-a-half years — placing them squarely in this category (particularly, if they are the primary earner of a large household).

    Well, if they drink like most cops I know drink, I should go open a bar.

  10. Beowoof

    Your Wall Street overlords don't like their days interrupted while destroying any opportunity you non taxpaying fucks may have.

  11. prommie

    It will become a new tradition, like in Pamplona, but instead of the running of the bulls, it will be the clubbing of the hippies!

      1. kittensdontlie

        Let those wild creatures be unmolested! I am sure they didn't all vote for Nader in his numerous Presidential runs from 1996 through 2008(2012?).

    1. kittensdontlie

      The clubbing is totally unnecessary. The threat of a light warm water spray with soap, will have those hippies scattering right off.

  12. mavenmaven

    They're all part of that 47% of the country that Romney doesn't care about anyway. I mean the policemen.

  13. M. Bouffant

    I ain't takin' Occupy seriously until they get so mad about Romney's secret movie that they kill the ambassador from Goldman Sachs & burn the GS consulate to the ground.

  14. OneYieldRegular

    You have the right to *bam.* You have the right to a *kick.* Anything you *water cannon* may be used against you in a court of *snarling police dog.* If you cannot an afford an attorney, *skull-crushing baton* will be provided to you.

  15. Katydid

    No snark….my fucking brother works at the NYSE, and last year I called him, slightly worried about what would happen with the protests…he was so goddammed dismissive of the protesters, it really enraged me. He doesn't come from money, he should know better. I really think money changes people, and possibly never for better.

    1. MumbletyX

      And that one commenter who turned out to be an attorney involved in such advocacy, dispatching occasionally from NYC, whose username I forget. As well as KenLayIsAlive, also contributing photos etc, whose name it is impossible to forget (wherever he is now)~

  16. CrunchyKnee

    Real Americans would be on their Hoverounds eating Chi-fil-a and worshipping Jesus, by god, not protesting their betters.

  17. Oblios_Cap

    What? No shootings? NYPD has become a bunch of mommycoddlers.

    I guess with 41 shots per protester, the ammo bill would exceed the year's budget. There probably also be a shortage of vestibules for the marchers to kneel in, begging for their lives.

  18. MistaEko

    It looks like they did some variations on King of Pain and Don't Stand So Close to Me, but would it have killed them to at least do a faithful rendition of Roxanne?

  19. TheGyrus

    How the fuck is signal jamming a live-stream feed not considered an abridgment of free speech? That's the kind of shit they pull in Syria.

  20. ttommyunger

    All well and good, Matthew, but your income figures neglected to mention the Graft. It is common knowledge that the NYC Graft is fucking HUGE! Shit, you can buy a Captain in Atlanta for what you would have to pay for a Beat Cop in NYC.

  21. Baba_NinjaCat12

    Be a patriot, protest at the local OWS in your community and provide a stimulating affect to the local economy by being arrested by brave men and women of the police. They need that valuable overtime so it can create a much need jobs for services and support the commercial service sector.

  22. decentcitizen

    I'm sure OWS is glad to provide clarity and purpose to NY's finest. Because seeking redress for a grievance from you gov't is so 20th century. Peaceable assembly as a constitutional right has historically been trump by hygiene concerns. If the words mean nothing, I'll wait for Scalia to explain it to me like I'm a small child.

  23. Negropolis

    Th came to a police riot, and a protest broke out.

    Matthew, you were trying to get that guy killed…with votes of course. But, really, that was hilarious!

  24. Negropolis

    BTW, here's to hoping that Mitt Romney's Marie Antionette moment will reinvigorate OWS, because what he said is an excellent example of what they despise.

  25. AznMom420

    Mr Kotter Mr Kotter they're going to Occupy the Park!!
    Calm down Epstein, the police will handle it.
    But how Mr Kotter, THE POLICE are occupying the park. *laughtrack*

    1. Matthius_Phelan

      I'm not buttering all of you up (I swear), but even in an ocean of "the internet's funniest commenters" this joke stood out as 100% amaze balls.

      Will someone please join me in reposting this to Facebook?

      Sincerely!

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