THE TRADITIONAL ONE YEAR GIFT IS HANDCUFFS  2:40 pm September 18, 2012

The Police Remembered Occupy Wall Street’s One Year Anniversary!!!

by Matthew Phelan


Last year, it took Occupy less than three weeks to reallocate $2 million in government-funded aid to working men and women in New York City, in the form of overtime pay to the city’s police department. This year, some in the movement hope to achieve this goal sooner — and judging from the police turnout on Occupy’s one year anniversary, they stand a good chance of meeting their goal!

It’s always nice when the dominant partner in a very hetero-normative relationship goes “all out” for an anniversary, and this year the police did not disappoint. “As usual, they brought Occupy some pretty police horses and cute police dogs.” Commissioner Ray Kelly’s NYPD is rumored to have splurged on a secret signal jammer to cut into Occupy’s livestream feed. The Associated Press is reporting that the police have arrested somewhere around 180 people (the NYT is saying 185), including about five journalists, wheelchair-bound Americans, one goth girl, and a fucking legal observer from The National Lawyers’ Guild: an act of puckish over-exuberance tantamount to capturing a Red Cross nurse as a POW. The police also gave a 99% bro a ride in a shopping cart.

And this to say nothing of the piles of hunky, eye candy in uniform, (see video above) all of whom will be injecting their excess overtime wages into the first small business they find.

As you all know, working and lower-middle-class households are among the most likely to spend any additional income (like that TIME-AND-A-HALF OVERTIME, BABY!) immediately and locally on necessity goods. In New York, rookie cops make roughly $42k annually — with a chance to incrementally reach the maximum salary of $76,488 over five-and-a-half years — placing them squarely in this category (particularly, if they are the primary earner of a large household). Their spending then cascades through the local economy, enacting what Keynesian economists call a “money multiplier effect.”

With #S17, the Occupy movement is once again doing what President Obama and Congress can not or will not do: providing the extra economic stimulus Americans need to get our country running again!

Welcome back, oh ye faithful, delusional idealists! Live Free or Die Hard!

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 89 comments }

YasserArraFeck September 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

That Mace ain't gonna spray itself, you know….

BlueStateLibel September 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

And the donuts aren't going to eat themselves. Which leads me to…

BloviateMe September 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Taze me bro!

…for the economy.

ChernobylSoup September 18, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Did the police offer any justification for their activities other than they've got badges, little dicks, and couldn't hack it in the military?

M. Bouffant September 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Sadly, more & more of current police officers were in the military, & are putting the Counter Insurgency tactics learned on the other side of the world to use right here at home.

Terry September 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Just for the lulz?

BlueStateLibel September 18, 2012 at 2:45 pm

This is good news for Dunkin' Donuts! Trickle down, baby!

YasserArraFeck September 18, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Sorry, but that trickle-down is Patrolman O'Malley pissing on you while O'Shaughnessy and Rocco hold you down

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

More likely the blood from a head wound

YasserArraFeck September 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Better a nightstick upside the head than a broom handle up the ass

BloviateMe September 18, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Lindsey Graham vehemently disagrees.

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 3:02 pm

You'd need too many brooms and the city's already running a deficit

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:18 am

Krispy Kreme libel!

SayItWithWookies September 18, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Oh look — it's the government-dependent, back-of-the-check-signing, whiny entitled victim culture on parade. And they're gonna club the crap out of some protesters.

Callyson September 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Jesus, that guy has to get up at 7 AM, so he expects the city to be quiet at 8:30 PM?

1. When is it ever quiet in New York City?

2. Hasn't he heard of earplugs?

3. How much sleep does a person need FFS?

(ETA: aw, that was nice of you to buy earplugs for him…)

Lucidamente1 September 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Protesters aren't people, my friend.

LastGasp September 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

… the police have arrested somewhere around 180 people (the NYT is saying 185), including about five journalists, wheelchair-bound Americans, one goth girl, and a fucking legal observer from The National Lawyers’ Guild.

I guess the NYPD has an arrest quota, why else would they be arresting such harmless people?

mrpuma2u September 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

These dirty hippies/commie priests/street scum are guilty of the worst sort of crimes, THOUGHT crimes (they think Bloombergermeister is an asshole), and are therefore extremely dangerous and most like in league with muslin extremist types.

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 2:57 pm

They offend their betters, of course.

Callyson September 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Also, OT alert–the fight is not over yet:

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has ordered a lower court to revisit its decision that allowed the new voter ID law to remain in effect for the November elections.
If Commonwealth Court finds the state's implementation of the law will disenfranchise voters in November, the high court has ordered it to issue an injunction.

http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/state/p

SayItWithWookies September 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm

But — but — the imminent threat of nonexistent voter fraud! Also, Saddam's WMDs. This law stops both of them!

SorosBot September 18, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Well it's not like the people have a constitutional right to assemble or to petition the Government for a redress of grievances or anything.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:26 am

Yeah, but I'm sure the authorities would have no problem with them Standing Their Ground, because, the most holy Second Amendment, right?

PhilippePetain September 18, 2012 at 2:47 pm

We all know that the ulterior motive behind #Occupy was to keep mace and baton distributors confortably in the middle class.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:27 am

An a riddle wrapped in an engima, is what it is. Damn OWStreets. They are the real The Man.

hagajim September 18, 2012 at 2:48 pm

New York, rookie cops make roughly $42k annually — with a chance to incrementally reach the maximum salary of $76,488

How are these poors gonna protect Mittens? Why they aren't even close to middle class.

Callyson September 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

That's *it*? No snark, that's a pittance considering how tough their job is.

I feel for the good cops–and I hope there still are some…

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

That's the thing: you ask any of the cops, and they'll tell you to a man they don't disagree with the protests, but a job's a job.

The thing OWS has to do is to get them to see past that. I had hopes when that one retired captain joined them last winter that he'd get a few, and maybe it kept some heads from being bashed in, but not as many as I'd hoped.

MittBorg September 18, 2012 at 3:11 pm

@OccupyPolice. It's an uphill slog. The police force in this country has a long history of being the running dogs of the rich.

bobbert September 18, 2012 at 10:53 pm

The police force in this every country has a long history of being the running dogs of the rich.

Incitefully_Joe September 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Unless I'm mistaken, at $42k, odds are still good that many rookie cops are among the 47% of Americans who have no net federal income tax liability.

And therefore, these guys must have automatically been Obama supporters.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 2:49 pm

That's a mighty fine union them NYPD guys have.

FakaktaSouth September 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Topping out at 77k makes them what? Like, way lower class if 250 is middle, right? So definitely, fuck these 47%ers all thinking they are entitled to eat.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 18, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Be a shame if something happened to it.

kittensdontlie September 18, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The white-shirted protester of the protesters, is absolutely a Mormon missionary. Without his tie, he figured he would be unrecognizable as such.

UnholyMoses September 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

The First Amendment: You're doin' it wrong.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

♫Please police me
oh yeah
Like I police you♪

Lavenderp September 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Occupy who?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

In fairness, the guy in the shopping cart had been at Home Depot all morning.

Boojum September 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Injecting their excess wages into small businesses … hard earned wages….

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

As you all know, working and lower-middle-class households are among the most likely to spend any additional income (like that TIME-AND-A-HALF OVERTIME, BABY!) immediately and locally on necessity goods. In New York, rookie cops make roughly $42k annually — with a chance to incrementally reach the maximum salary of $76,488 over five-and-a-half years — placing them squarely in this category (particularly, if they are the primary earner of a large household).

Well, if they drink like most cops I know drink, I should go open a bar.

Beowoof September 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Your Wall Street overlords don't like their days interrupted while destroying any opportunity you non taxpaying fucks may have.

prommie September 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

It will become a new tradition, like in Pamplona, but instead of the running of the bulls, it will be the clubbing of the hippies!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

That is something that we, as an Americans, can all come together and agree on.

kittensdontlie September 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Let those wild creatures be unmolested! I am sure they didn't all vote for Nader in his numerous Presidential runs from 1996 through 2008(2012?).

sati_demise September 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

stop giving them fucking ideas. but yea, it seems to be their favorite sport these days.

kittensdontlie September 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

The clubbing is totally unnecessary. The threat of a light warm water spray with soap, will have those hippies scattering right off.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:31 am

They should really just let them alone to roam free along the Broadway where they will have more room.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

They arrested all those people because they were carrying…

32 ounce fountain sodas.

sati_demise September 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

oh snap!

mavenmaven September 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

They're all part of that 47% of the country that Romney doesn't care about anyway. I mean the policemen.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

This is clearly a result of Obama's failed policies. When will he start bombing New York and put boots on the ground. That is the only way you will ever get through to street protesters.

mrpuma2u September 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Only slightly OT, Occupy Chicago had some folks in the street, but nobody cared much.
We made some purdy light pictures though
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3192977081

PuckStopsHere September 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Fucking union thugs.

M. Bouffant September 18, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I ain't takin' Occupy seriously until they get so mad about Romney's secret movie that they kill the ambassador from Goldman Sachs & burn the GS consulate to the ground.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:32 am

I'm going to Desert God Hell for laughing at that. Surely.

OneYieldRegular September 18, 2012 at 3:01 pm

You have the right to *bam.* You have the right to a *kick.* Anything you *water cannon* may be used against you in a court of *snarling police dog.* If you cannot an afford an attorney, *skull-crushing baton* will be provided to you.

sati_demise September 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

with a taser finale

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:32 am

Baby, you're a firework…

Peckerwood_Pete September 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I went to OWS last Fall. Loved the message. Hated the fucking drum circles.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:33 am

That's 'cause you don't have any rythym.

Katydid September 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm

No snark….my fucking brother works at the NYSE, and last year I called him, slightly worried about what would happen with the protests…he was so goddammed dismissive of the protesters, it really enraged me. He doesn't come from money, he should know better. I really think money changes people, and possibly never for better.

sudsmckenzie September 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm

No one was there to tell the crowd to BEHAVE. what ever happened to that guy?

M. Bouffant September 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Not enough.

fuflans September 18, 2012 at 3:06 pm

i miss occupy.

and riley.

MumbletyX September 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

And that one commenter who turned out to be an attorney involved in such advocacy, dispatching occasionally from NYC, whose username I forget. As well as KenLayIsAlive, also contributing photos etc, whose name it is impossible to forget (wherever he is now)~

CrunchyKnee September 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Real Americans would be on their Hoverounds eating Chi-fil-a and worshipping Jesus, by god, not protesting their betters.

barto September 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

What's with the dude in the shopping cart? Was there a sale at Macy's on OWS protestors?

banana_bread September 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Silly! OWS protesters are not sold at Macy's. They are sold at Trader Joe's and head shops.

BloviateMe September 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

You didn't arrest that.

Baconzgood September 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I want to protest the protesters protesting the protest.

BloviateMe September 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm

…do it as a Protestant for the full monty.

PubOption September 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Don't stand, don't stand too close to me, or I'll hit you with this baton.

MissTaken September 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Occupy Wall Street West had a birthday bash complete with cutesy hats.
http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Occupy-prot

pinkocommi September 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm

If protests are outlawed, only outlaws will have protests.

Oblios_Cap September 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

What? No shootings? NYPD has become a bunch of mommycoddlers.

I guess with 41 shots per protester, the ammo bill would exceed the year's budget. There probably also be a shortage of vestibules for the marchers to kneel in, begging for their lives.

randcoolcatdaddy September 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

And Mitt thought all those 47%'ers were showing up just for him…

Blueb4sinrise September 18, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I think that, given their culture, some people just aren't ready for democracy.

sati_demise September 18, 2012 at 3:36 pm

<3

MistaEko September 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

It looks like they did some variations on King of Pain and Don't Stand So Close to Me, but would it have killed them to at least do a faithful rendition of Roxanne?

TheGyrus September 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

How the fuck is signal jamming a live-stream feed not considered an abridgment of free speech? That's the kind of shit they pull in Syria.

Toomush_Infer September 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Its just so arresting…

ttommyunger September 18, 2012 at 11:27 pm

All well and good, Matthew, but your income figures neglected to mention the Graft. It is common knowledge that the NYC Graft is fucking HUGE! Shit, you can buy a Captain in Atlanta for what you would have to pay for a Beat Cop in NYC.

Baba_NinjaCat12 September 19, 2012 at 12:23 am

Be a patriot, protest at the local OWS in your community and provide a stimulating affect to the local economy by being arrested by brave men and women of the police. They need that valuable overtime so it can create a much need jobs for services and support the commercial service sector.

decentcitizen September 19, 2012 at 12:43 am

I'm sure OWS is glad to provide clarity and purpose to NY's finest. Because seeking redress for a grievance from you gov't is so 20th century. Peaceable assembly as a constitutional right has historically been trump by hygiene concerns. If the words mean nothing, I'll wait for Scalia to explain it to me like I'm a small child.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:16 am

Th came to a police riot, and a protest broke out.

Matthew, you were trying to get that guy killed…with votes of course. But, really, that was hilarious!

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 1:36 am

BTW, here's to hoping that Mitt Romney's Marie Antionette moment will reinvigorate OWS, because what he said is an excellent example of what they despise.

AznMom420 September 19, 2012 at 2:20 am

Mr Kotter Mr Kotter they're going to Occupy the Park!!
Calm down Epstein, the police will handle it.
But how Mr Kotter, THE POLICE are occupying the park. *laughtrack*

Matthius_Phelan September 19, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I'm not buttering all of you up (I swear), but even in an ocean of "the internet's funniest commenters" this joke stood out as 100% amaze balls.

Will someone please join me in reposting this to Facebook?

Sincerely!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: