ALSO HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE SYRIA IS  12:37 pm September 18, 2012

‘Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Too Hard To Solve,’ Says Forceful Leader Mitt Romney

by Josh Fruhlinger

Look, I can't be bothered with this, I have people to look at maps for meA happy Mitt Romney Whitey Tape Day to each and every one of you! By now, you are well aware that Mitt simply does not care for the 47 percent of Americans who, due in part to tax-cutting policies put in place by Republican presidents, don’t count Federal income tax among the array of taxes that they pay. But who else does Mitt Romney secretly hold in contempt, on video? And what other long-standing bipartisan foreign policy positions does he reject as unworkable? If you said “the Palestinians, collectively” and “a two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict,” you are correct! It turns out Mitt is “torn by two perspectives in this regard”: On the one hand, the Palestinians are monsters who don’t want peace; and, on the other, solving this problem is hard so why bother.

Here is more of Mitt Romney with his important thoughts about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict!

If your work has some kind of Romney-filter in place, take our word for it that, Mitt, while waxing geopolitical and showing off his smarts, states confidently that the West Bank borders Syria, which, for the record, is not the case, even a little! (See map above.) He also says, correctly, that pre-1967 Israel is only about seven miles wide around Tel Aviv, though he ignores the fact that a significant portion of the Palestinian population, including several good-sized cities, is just on the other side of the border there, so that making Israel any wider would involve … forcibly evicting hundreds of thousands of people from their homes? That or giving them voting rights? Hmm.

But that is just a sideshow to his larger point, which goes something like this: if you made Palestine an independent country, probably Palestine would want to do what regular countries do, like run its own airport and control its own borders. But since it is 100% absolutely true that all Palestinians do not want peace, that would result in an Iranian nuclear bomb in Bethlehem, transported via Syria, within the first hour or so of Palestinian independence, so that’s completely out. So, if the two-state solution, which has been the idea Republican and Democratic administrations have endorsed for more the 20 years, doesn’t work, then Mitt must have some radical new ideas for this thorny problem!

And so what you do is you say, “You move things along the best way you can.” You hope for some degree of stability, but you recognize that this is going to remain an unsolved problem. We live with that in China and Taiwan. All right, we have a potentially volatile situation but we sort of live with it, and we kick the ball down the field and hope that ultimately, somehow, something will happen and resolve it.

What Romney is saying, basically, is that if the Israeli-Palestinian conflict were a struggling corporation, Bain Capital would not bother to take it over and restructure it. There’s just no upside there.

Oh, also, at the very end of the video Romney mentions casually:

On the other hand, I got a call from a former secretary of state. I won’t mention which one it was, but this individual said to me, you know, I think there’s a prospect for a settlement between the Palestinians and the Israelis after the Palestinian elections. I said, “Really?” And, you know, his answer was, “Yes, I think there’s some prospect.” And I didn’t delve into it.

GUESSING GAME! There are four he-Secretaries of State still alive, all Republicans: Powell, Baker, Schultz, and Kissinger. Which one called up Romney with this exciting news about possible movement in one of the world’s most intractable and geopolitically crucial conflicts? Enh, who cares, if he really had any idea how to fix this thing he would have done it while he was in office. Fuck that guy. Mitt Romney’s got poor people to slag on, he doesn’t have time for this. [MoJo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 168 comments }

FlownOver September 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Oy, for fuck's sake.

weejee September 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

OFFS' ?

weejee September 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Guess Mittens won't be singin' ♪♫ Yasser, that's my baby ♫♪

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Nasser, I don't mean maybe….

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm

"They got oil? No? Oranges and dates, you say!! Then who gives a fuck?"

Lavenderp September 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Sure, they got oil. Olive oil.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 2:49 am

But, but the Israeli's are always cutting down their groves for fence-building or settlements or just because, so get it while you can.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 2:49 am

This.

ChernobylSoup September 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

"Mr. Gorbachev, this wall is big and could probably be taken down with a track hoe, cranes, and industrial strength cables, but that's a lot of work."

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I do have friends who own large construction companies, however.

anniegetyerfun September 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

This deserved so many fists of uppitude.

CthuNHu September 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

"I have a dream, but it's not at all realistic, so just forget I mentioned it."

Fox n Fiends September 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

It was Kissinger. He's been right 5% of the time, thus qualifying him to advise Bishop Romney on Wild Speculation.

eggsacklywright September 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I'm OK with that as long as the advising is done from jail.

Kid_Charlemagne September 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

It would also continue a long Republican tradition of having war criminals as foreign policy advisors.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Re: the Secretary of State thing. He didn't say it was a US secretary of state. It could have been the genius Secretary of State of Ohio, Jon Husted.

no_gravity September 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I prefer the birther nut Secretary of State from Kansas, Kris Kobach.

chicken_thief September 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Prolly Secretary of State of one of those countries where Romney parks his dinero. They actually give a shit about the guy.

FakaktaSouth September 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

According to my conservative friend, NOBAMA will be too busy on Letterman whilst Bibi is here at the UN, so Mitt should welcome him at the airport. I have no idea what this translates to in real life, but I WOULD LOVE to see Mitt standing there with one of those limo-pick-up-signs by the baggage claim, he could tell him all about his secret friend with the plan.
.

FlownOver September 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Somebody with 'Shop skills, get on this NOW!

Kid_Charlemagne September 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

He would end up at the wrong gate.

Lavenderp September 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

If left to his own devices, he'd end up at some other airport, but he has people who take care of these things…

CivicHoliday September 18, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I think we have the same conservative FB friend saying the same stupid shit all the time

ChernobylSoup September 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Can we make September 17th a holiday?

Sue4466 September 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Am I a bad person for just laughing my ass off every time I think about these tapes being released the same day the Romney campaign was all like "today's the day we take the campaign in a new direction"? Because, I got a serious case of the giggles.

Tundra Grifter September 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Well, they did take the campaign in a new direction…straight for the rocks.

Sue4466 September 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

So at least they didn't lie about that one. Good point.

Pragmatist2 September 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Ironically, it is Constitution Day already.

Tundra Grifter September 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

It was also the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Antietam. Some 22,000 Americans killed and wounded in a single day.

The butcher's bill is remarkable similar to our military losses in Afghanistan and Iraq since we started those wars – some 6,000 KIA and another 17,000 wounded.

Antietam was the turning point in the American Civil War. Lincoln used this "victory" to issue the Emancipation Proclamation. English mill workers in Manchester went on strike for a couple of years, refusing to work Confederate cotton.

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Oh man! He's punting on first down!

JerkCade September 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

The fix is in. He's taking a dive.

Tundra Grifter September 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

It's the beginning of the fourth quarter, (r)Money recovered a fumble, and he's rambling down the field without a defender in sight.

Unfortunately, he's headed for Obama's endzone.

Sue4466 September 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I don't understand baseball references, but is he even on the field yet?

anniegetyerfun September 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Silly, they're talking about ice hockey! Don't be such a GIRL.

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Wait. Are you two replacement NFL referees?

SorosBot September 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

It's hard when your foreign policy is focused on protecting the US from the threat of the Soviet Union.

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

And abandoning Czechoslovakia

no_gravity September 18, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Mitt's solution for Palestine – turn it into the new Deseret.

Lavenderp September 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Ah, yes- if the Palestinians want to get anywhere with Mitt, they should indicate that they're interested in learning more about LDS & does he have any literature he can share with them?

1stNewtontheMoon September 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

This is the same "don't bother" answer to raising taxes on the rich. I mean, jeez, you could do that but they've got lawyers and accountants and cayman island and swiss accounts, and show-horses, and what-not. they're just going to figure it out and avoid paying them. so don't even bother. let's expend our energy and political capital to find some other way to alienate women (shove things in their nether regions as part of government policy), minorities (easy), gays (who?), the poor (no, really, who?)…and oh yeah, preserve our wealth and increase our share.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Because in the Mitten & Romneybinder co-op, everyone has a share.

Sue4466 September 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

This whole waiting & seeing, is that leading from behind or from in front? I'm all confused.

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

It's following from the front.

I think.

bobbert September 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Reverse cowgirl.

(Fucking up from behind)

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Do the Palestinians pay federal income tax to the US America? No? Well then FUCK THEM!

Generation[redacted] September 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm

The entire rest of the Mideast, on the other hand, could be easily solved simply by having a President Romney who is more assertive and respected.

chicken_thief September 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

His should have photo ops with his hair chopping scissors and a grimace on his face.

Sue4466 September 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Hey MidEast, how's that whole hopey waity thing workin' out for 'ya?

sewollef September 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I hear Benjamin Net-a-yahoo can see the starving Palestinians from his porch tho'.

fuflans September 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

oh great. NOW palestinians will be in the tank for obama.

Callyson September 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Along with several Israelis…this *might* just be the issue that unites them after all.

"Hell, we've got our differences, but we can't let this guy get into the White House…"

freakishlywrong September 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

We'll be at war with Iran and then the U.S.S.R and then probably Czechoslovakia so he won't have time to address this.

fuflans September 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

and britain. don't forget britain.

SoBeach September 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

A Romney presidency would kick a lot of cans down the road. A LOT. All of them, really. Except eliminating all taxes on capital gains, interest income, and estates. That part would get done right away.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Well, and probably the gutting of Medicare and the privatization of Social Security and the criminalization of union membership. Those would probably get done pretty quickly too.

SoBeach September 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Pretty quick. Once all cap gains and estate taxes are eliminated we will no longer be able to afford all those nice-to-haves like Social Security and Medicare. So sorry, they'll have to go.

JerkCade September 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Anyway, if we stop calling it 'the holy land' or 'the land of milk and honey' then maybe people will stop fighting over who gets to live there.

They should rename it 'Detroit.'

actor212 September 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Or Florida.

rickmaci September 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Or Tijuana. Then even the Palestinians would leave.

Rosie_Scenario September 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Who cares about Israel? I hear that the Garden of Eden was actually located in Missouri. USA! USA! USA!

hagajim September 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I think you're confused….it was the Garden of Eatin'.

docterry6973 September 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Mizzou sure sounds like Paradise to me!

bearperney September 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Trust me, it isn't!

FlownOver September 18, 2012 at 2:15 pm

If you're the visiting SEC team, maybe.

HistoriCat September 18, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Maybe not Paradise but I've always considered the Kappa Alpha Theta house at Mizzou to be my happy place. Yum.

PubOption September 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

There is a town called Willard in Missouri, but I'm not sure if it's anywhere near the Mormon garden of Eden.

Peckerwood_Pete September 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I know how to solve the "Israeli-Palestinian" conflict…. move Israel to North Dakota… problem solved….

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I can remember back when the Six Day War started, my father saying that Truman should have given Mississippi to the Jews, because the blacks in Mississippi were already used to being treated like shit. Problem solved.

docterry6973 September 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Good plan! not many people and the Canucks probably won't bother them much. We could give Israel all the Indian land. Those layabouts don't deserve it.

Lascauxcaveman September 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

It'd be worth it if they'd go for it. Buy the whole damn state (and South Dakota, too) for what we spend on a couple years in military aid on those guys. Too bad they're so sentimental about Jerusalem and Bethlehem and all those tired, worn out, dusty places.

missemish September 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

rickmaci September 18, 2012 at 1:51 pm

American Excess Nationalism.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

This is good news for Bibi Netanyahoo!

Toomush_Infer September 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

So, the Ostrich Solution will continue to hold traction in the Romney administration – for this, and for all other touchy areas of policy – isn't it hard to kick the ball down the field with your head in the sand?

Clancy_Pants September 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I think you're gonna find, when all this shit is over, I think you're gonna find yourself one smiling motherfucker. The thing is, Willard, right now you got ability. But painful as it may be, ability don't last. And your days are just about over. Now that's a hard motherfuckin' fact of life, but that's a fact of life your ass is gonna have to get realistic about. See, this business is filled to the brim with unrealistic motherfuckers. Motherfuckers who thought their ass would age like wine. If you mean it turns to vinegar, it does. If you mean it gets better with age, it don't. Besides, Willard, how many fights do you think you got in you anyhow? Two? ex Governors don't have an Old Timers Place. You came close but you never made it. And if you were gonna make it, you would have made it before now. You're mine, dig?

RadioX September 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I thought the solution was obvious: bomb Iran!

weejee September 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Thought that was planned for halftime at the Army-Navy game?

RadioX September 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Love the new avatard weej.

weejee September 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

thanks

kittensdontlie September 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I am not sure about Mutton's message, but judging from the one fellow stuffing his face, the food there seems to be well recieved.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Better be good for $50,000.

kittensdontlie September 18, 2012 at 2:25 pm

The poolside entertainment afterward is worth a little too.

gullywompr September 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

RufusTFirefly September 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Say what you like about the tenets of Romneyism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

CthuNHu September 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

No. No, it is not.

It is the antithesis of an ethos.

It is the absence of an ethos.

It is the negation of the concept of an ethos.

It is a mockery of a shunning of a scorning of a lack of a void of a vacuum of the utter nonexistence of the null set of any ethos whatsoever. That, and entirely and only that, is what it is.

gullywompr September 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm

He is a nihilist, there's nothing to be afraid of.

CthuNHu September 18, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Yet there is something for the GOP to be afraid of, when they discover that there's nothing there to tie the party together.

sewollef September 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Sorry, no can do. I'm all out of skinheads.

GregComlish September 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"I understand that in this room of rich Florida donors there are Jews who with differing opinions on this complex issue, so in my upcoming remarks I will make a half-ass attempt to pander to each of them."

hagajim September 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

That was much ado – about nothing. Good lord what a complete moran.

fuflans September 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

and SNL did that skit BEFORE this tape leaked?

Pragmatist2 September 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Maybe he could outsource the Middle East problem to India.

SheriffRoscoe September 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Guys, it's getting so that you can't blurt out stupid shit to your own friends without the whole world finding out. Mitt should go lock himself in one of his houses and wait it out until election day. That way, he would have a chance of being a respectable failure versus an embarrassing failure. Trust me, I know from which I speak.

Steverino247 September 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I think Mitt should be torn by four perspectives and by "perspectives," I mean "horses."

anniegetyerfun September 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I don't know if the prancing ponies that Mittens owns would be up to the task.

Uh, with votes!

LibertyLover September 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I don't think they have tried Toilet Papering their houses, have they?

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

"On the one hand, the Palestinians are monsters who don’t want peace; and, on the other, solving this problem is hard so why bother."

Plus, Palestinians = brown & muslim so two strikes already.

rickmaci September 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

And poorz. Strike three.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 2:54 am

Except when they are Christian, and nobody gives two shits about the Palestinian Christians. No one.

There you have one of the oldest Christian communities on the globe, and not even the evangelicals can give a fuck.

Baconzgood September 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I promise as president, I'll do nothing in the mid-east peace process until I'm all out of ideas.

-Mitt-

littlebigdaddy September 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

But, you see, he likes the Jews cuz they know how to make those shekels.

fuflans September 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

oh and by the way: THIS is leading from behind.

asshole.

ManchuCandidate September 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Of course solving the Israeli Palestinian Conflict is hard, Mittens. It's not like you can buy Israel and Palestine then bankrupt them and outsource both groups of peoples hatred for each other.

Of course, following the Bibi plan of blowing the fucking shit out of Palestinians isn't going to work either.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm

That's why Bibi has Plan B, attack Iran, in his back pocket.

GeorgiaMike September 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

The only way Mittens will waste any time on the Palestinians is after he fixes it so the poor all become servants and the rich pay no taxes at all.

Dr_Zoidberg September 18, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Watching Mittens implode is so much fun! My birthday present came 3 months early! Yay!

banana_bread September 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

HOORAY FOR ZOIDBERG!

Steverino247 September 18, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Happy Birthday minus 90.

Callyson September 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

There are four he-Secretaries of State still alive, all Republicans: Powell, Baker, Schultz, and Kissinger. Which one called up Romney with this exciting news about possible movement in one of the world’s most intractable and geopolitically crucial conflicts?

It's *got* to be Kissinger. He's been dying to be relevant again for decades now, and he sees in Romney a chance he did not have with Tricky Dick: he could single-handedly run American foreign policy.

Shudder…

Beach_Bubba_Tex September 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

But all the good wars are already in planning. Henry likes to be bold, original… a war criminal's war criminal. By the way, I think Shultz is dead, but that may not be an issue with Mitt.

sewollef September 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It's not an issue.

Mitt likes to have long conversations with Robert Bacon, who — at 37 days — has much more experience with the foreigners.

Chow Yun Flat September 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

These are problems. These are hard problems, right?

Then what the fuck are you looking at me for?

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

"Also, look at that map. All those little triangles, those are the tents of the Palestinians, right? Why can't they just fold up those tents and move somewhere else?"

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

The media is so unfair, making poor Mittens look bad by reporting what he says, word for word. Fucking lamestream librul media.

ChernobylSoup September 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

OT: Egypt just issued an arrest warrant for Rev. Terry Jones.

Toomush_Infer September 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

For the crime of jonesing?…

Generation[redacted] September 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm

That might curtail his travel plans, if he ever decides to explore the world outside his trailer park.

calliecallie September 18, 2012 at 2:08 pm

About time someone did!

Steverino247 September 18, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Hand him over.

I'm all for expressing what horseshit religions are, but when doing so might get people killed, i usually tone it down a bit.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 2:56 am

Well, this should totally diffuse the situation. lol

Really, this new Egyptian government should just mind it's own fuckin' business, because it's getting really annoying. Doesn't it have a country to build?

LibertyLover September 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm

On the other hand, I got a call from a former secretary of state…. but this individual said to me, you know, I think there’s a prospect for a settlement between the Palestinians and the Israelis after the Palestinian elections. I said, “Really?” And, you know, his answer was, “Yes, I think there’s some prospect.” And I didn’t delve into it.

Why not? Did you have to take a nappy or something? What was so pressing that you couldn't get a wee bit more information on how peace could be brought to the M.E.? After all, Carter was able to get Sadat and Begin to sit down and hammer out a peace agreement….
Seems like that would be a natural next question: "How? Mr. ex-Sec. of State?"

Asshat.

Beach_Bubba_Tex September 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Well, we know is starts with tax cuts. After that the accounts can hash out the details.

Baba_NinjaCat12 September 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

When the Geography Wizard Mitt becomes a President, I am going to join the Army. When the U.S. is at war with Iran, our brilliant 45th president can send us to Irian, a peaceful and tropical paradise on the western half of island of New Guinea. Bets the hell hole of an oven Iranian desert. Irian is close enough to Iran, so what's the difference.

Beach_Bubba_Tex September 18, 2012 at 1:13 pm

and we shall call you "hero" and make action motion pictures in your honor.

BaldarTFlagass September 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Sorry, but he'll probably just pull a Bush and send the army back to Iraq.

sudsmckenzie September 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Hey Mitt, Ive got your two state solution right here: Virginia and Ohio.

johnnyzhivago September 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I'm surprised Romney didn't go with my "give Florida to Israel" and send all Florida Mexicans to Palestine" idea.

fuflans September 18, 2012 at 1:08 pm

you know, this is really terrible. a candidate for the (current) most powerful office on earth says he has no interest in solving one of the world's most destructive situations (and one that is a root cause of several of the world's other destructive problems) because it is 'too hard' and (no doubt – though he's too cowardly to mention it – because he's seen other administrations blow tons of political capital on mediterranean shores).

wtf? if you don't want to deal with hard things, why do you want to be president? this guy's got nothing. patently unsuited for office.

sorry for unfunny. the more i think about this, the worse it gets.

at least sarah palin thought she believed in something.

HistoriCat September 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Exactly – you don't get to just say "well, I've got nothing. Let's hope things change somehow." I mean, I know we do that with lots of situations but to basically say, "too hard – pass" is a complete abdication of responsibility. Even W knew you couldn't just ignore the Israeli-Palestinian situation.

Chet Kincaid_ September 18, 2012 at 3:43 pm

His first response to anything he doesn't want to deal with is indifference. What the hell is that?!

Slim_Pickins September 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Maybe Condi isn't the first female member of Augusta after all.

RadioX September 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

What, not even John Bolton can solve this? This campaign is worse off than I ever imagined.

An_Outhouse September 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Someone once said 'Presidentin' is hard work'.

belmontreport September 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Those people paid $50,000 to listen to that?

tihond September 18, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Let's just start calling Romney "Kitten Mittens." Because he's full of great ideas.

rickmaci September 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Win

Beach_Bubba_Tex September 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I hate sequels… never as good as the original. I guess we have to wait for Mother Jones to post the third one where Cheney appears and convinces Mitt that he is his father…. SEEN it…

banana_bread September 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

No no, Romney, punting on tough foreign issues is MY job because I'm a stay at home mom with an art degree. YOU are trying to lead one of the most powerful nations in the world. STOP TAKING MY JOB ROMNEY

iburl September 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Kissinger must have his blood!!!

chicken_thief September 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Here we go again. The elitist librul in-the-tank for Hussein media twisting the Jerb Creators words. Have they no decency?

lumpenprole September 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

It's actually a funny story how Mitt decided what to do about Israel. He lost a basketball game, to a friend of his, David Corn. He's a huge supporter of the campaign.

DerrickWildcat September 18, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Well I've been watching a lot Fox today, and did you know that Obama's foreign policy is responsible for radical Islamists acting like total turds? They never acted like that before Obama was President.

no_gravity September 18, 2012 at 1:19 pm

"These are problems – These are very hard to solve, all right."

Mittens was just trying to riff on the JFK going to the moon speech:

"We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too."

But as usual, it's just another #RomneyEncore.

Smithboy September 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Mitt study the way the world banded together to end apartheid and human rights violations in South Africa and apply the same game plan to Israel. Done!

Guppy September 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Mitt, while waxing geopolitical and showing off his smarts, states confidently that the West Bank borders Syria

You'd think a former LDS bishop would know more about Holy Land geography. Oh, wait…

On the other hand, I got a call from a former secretary of state.

He never said US Secretary of State. Considering the "people" he surrounds himself with, he probably has Delaware's SoS on speed-dial.

Tundra Grifter September 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

The "it makes my head hurt so I'm going to stop thinking about it" thingie worked out so well for George Bush and the folks living in Israel and Palestine.

anniegetyerfun September 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

you know, I think there’s a prospect for a settlement between the Palestinians and the Israelis after the Palestinian elections. I said, “Really?” And, you know, his answer was, “Yes, I think there’s some prospect.” And I didn’t delve into it.

THERE. RIGHT THERE. That's the kind of intellectual curiosity and work ethic that you really want in the leader of the USA.

oenspiek September 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

"And I didn’t delve into it. "

Oh, my freaking lack of god.

Aside from a money tropism, there's nothing in the suit.

PubOption September 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Hey, it worked for Dubya.

HistoriCat September 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm

(I can't believe I'm about to say this …)

You may not be giving Gee Dub enough credit.

mavenmaven September 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

There's no money to be made there, let's just move on to more profitable safer areas like Japan and China. Oops!

bobbert September 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

My God! He's full of shit!!

Steverino247 September 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Points for the 2010 movie reference!

Gleem McShineys September 18, 2012 at 6:27 pm

"Open the big idiot mouth bay doors, MIT"

rickmaci September 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Run that Tel Aviv is the "capital of" thingy by me again…

calliecallie September 18, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"You hope for some degree of stability, but you recognize that this is going to remain an unsolved problem. We live with that in China and Taiwan."

I don't think China and Taiwan is remotely the same kind of situation, actually. Mittens better be careful before he alienates yet another group of foreigners.

OneYieldRegular September 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

To cap it off, he added, "And the Palestinian Olympics are going to suck, too."

biraweeyaz September 18, 2012 at 11:30 pm

You win the internet today.

CivicHoliday September 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

He and 1992 Teen Talk Barbie have spent way too many hours together talking foreign policy

CalvinsChoice September 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

No shit- Kissinger's still alive?

NYNYNYjr September 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I really like that last quote….. ha ha. Really? I said. Then I didn't delve into it. That's my Mitt. I love you Mitt.

randcoolcatdaddy September 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

THE DIPLOMATZ! HOW DO THEY WORK????

Chet Kincaid_ September 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm

"However, a former National Security Advisor gave me a call and said the two-state solution could still work, if we let the Israelis keep Manhattan and give the Palestinians Dearborn, Michigan."

fawkedifiknow September 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Way to be a leader, Mittful.

ttommyunger September 18, 2012 at 11:04 pm

In truth, a Two-State solution is not viable because Israel will not agree that Palestine be armed for defense of its borders and Palestinians will not agree without that proviso. One-State solution is not viable because Israel understands that the Palestinians outnumber the Israelis in multiples and unlike the fecund Muslims, are not even reproducing their population one for one. Any Representative Government would be dominated by Palestinians within two generations based on demographic representation alone. It is, in fact, an intractable problem. Mitt came close to the truth, for once.

Negropolis September 19, 2012 at 2:48 am

And I didn't delve into it.

Isn't that basically the problem with Romney in a nutshell? You know, that he's the Money Badger. He just doesn't give a shit…about anything, really.

DahBoner September 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Mitt just knows Ragheads will be ragheads…

gullywompr September 18, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Mark it zero.

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