Finally A One-Percenter Who Shares Wonkette's Values

Host for Romney’s ‘Half Of America Can Get Bent’ Speech Is Big Fan Of Sexxytime Pool Parties

No one from the Romney campaign has come forward to deny that this is EXACTLY what happenedSo it turns out that Mother Jones reporter David Corn has now identified the location and date of that fundraiser where Willard Mittensbjørn Rømney proclaimed that he has no use for 47% of the American people because they are irresponsible layabouts who are so addicted to the government teat that they will of course support Obama. Turns out that the poor-bashing bash was hosted by happy zillionaire Marc Leder, a private equity manager (just like Mittens!), who held the fundraiser in Boca Raton on May 17, 2012. Oh, and Mr. Leder also likes to have nekkid pool parties. Also, too, he was apparently pretty lousy at creating jobs. But did we mention the nekkid pool parties?

Before getting to the nekkid pool parties, Corn cites a New York Times story that says Leder was so impressed by meeting Romney a few years back that he was inspired to start his very own private equity firm, Sun Capital. And wouldn’t you know it, it turns out that, just like Bain, Sun Capital stirred up just a teensy bit of controversy in the way it made its founder wealthy:

In recent years, a large number of the companies that Sun Capital has acquired have run into serious trouble, eliminated jobs or both. Since 2008, some 25 of its companies—roughly one of every five it owns—have filed for bankruptcy. Among the losers was Friendly’s, the restaurant chain known for its Jim Dandy sundaes and Fribble shakes. (Sun Capital was accused by a federal agency of pushing Friendly’s into bankruptcy last year to avoid paying pensions to the chain’s employees; Sun disputes that contention.) Another company that sank into bankruptcy was Real Mex, owner of the Chevy’s restaurant chain. In that case, Mr. Leder lost money for his investors not once, but twice.

Yes, yes, but what about the nekkid pool parties? WELL! Did you see that last night, Mittens held a press avail (where he even interacts with the press!) to do a little damage control? Strange, though, he didn’t actually back away from his statement about those Obama voters who are dependent on the gummint; all he said was that the comments in May were not “elegantly stated.” Yes, go on, Mitt. Tell us how you were quoted out of context when you spoke to all the rich people in the quiet room!

“I am talking about a political process of drawing people in my campaign. … My campaign is about helping people take more responsibility,” Romney said.

“This is ultimately a question about the direction of the country. Do you believe in a government-centered society that provides more and more benefits? Or do you believe instead in a free-enterprise society where people are able to pursue their dreams?”

Oh, well that clarifies everything! We are not sure it was any more elegant, but maybe you’ll figure out how you could have said that better when you’re back in the private sector in a couple months.

OK, so the nekkid pool parties. Yes, those. Apparently, according to the New York Post, Leder’s rented mansion in the Hamptons was notorious for lavish parties in the summer of 2011:

It was as if the Playboy Mansion met the East End at a wild party at private-equity titan Marc Leder’s Bridgehampton estate, where guests cavorted nude in the pool and performed sex acts, scantily dressed Russians danced on platforms and men twirled lit torches to a booming techno beat.

The divorced Sun Capital Partners honcho rented a sprawling beachfront mansion on Surf Side Road for $500,000 for the month of July. Leder’s weekly Friday and Saturday night parties have become the talk of the Hamptons — and he ended them in style last weekend with his wildest bash yet…. the revelry hit a frenzied point [on July 30] before midnight when a male guest described as a “chubby white meathead” and a “tanned” female guest stripped and hopped into the pool naked…. Multiple witnesses say the naked pair continued their show outside the pool and performed sex acts on a chair in front of astonished guests.

Wait, what? Just ONE couple frolicking nekkid and getting sexy? And one of ’em is a “chubby meathead”? Mannn, talk about disappointing. We do not even think that counts as an “orgy” in Boise, let alone the sybaritic Hamptons. Hell, at the Wonkette Fantasyplex Poolapalooza, a single couple cavorting nekkid and doing the poolside sex on a chair is what we call a “slow Tuesday.”

Damn librul media is over-selling this whole “naked sex parties” angle if you ask us.

[Mother Jones / Politico / New York Post]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Boojum

    Of course he is. This is the Family Values Party.

    This is also the most favorable thing I've heard about Romney.

    • eggsacklywright

      Or the Family Abuse Party. Let's all join FAP.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    The choice of Florida seems appropriate for such a distinguished event.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    fundraiser in Boca Raton

    Boca Raton – Mouth of the Rat, that figures.

    • glasspusher

      Nice new avatar. Sylvester, the mouse with the musical ear?

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Thanks, but the guitar picker actually has a cloven hoof and goes whole hog for the musics.

        • glasspusher

          Ah, I see.Little pig, little pig?

  • ChernobylSoup

    "Allow me to help you take responsibility for your life" is the new fuck off and die.

    • carlgt1

      yeah I've been looking all over the New Testament for where exactly they got this heartwarming mantra! ;-)

      • Geminisunmars

        Must be in The Book of Morans.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Just edging out the old new fuck off and die:

      "I bought your company and gutted it, seeyah!"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I like to watch.

    • eggsacklywright

      Me, too. It's best not to get too involved, because heartbreak.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      I know. Quit hanging around my house after dark.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      You do realize we can see you out there, right?

    • FakaktaSouth

      You are doing the "I'd like to be a Gynecologist" thing. THINK about it – come to Target on a Tuesday with me and remember what this 47percent really looks like. DO NOT WANNA party naked in any pool with none of them, I promise.

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        When I was younger, I would always say that I wanted to be an oral gynecologist when I grew up. I'm now happy I never achieved that goal.

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck these assholes. And please, not in my pool.

  • HRH_Maddie

    Even that asshole David Brooks was all like “Romney’s comment is a country-club fantasy. It’s what self-satisfied millionaires say to each other. It reinforces every negative view people have about Romney.”

    • ph7

      It’s what self-satisfied millionaires say to each other.

      Guess I'll have to take David Brook's word on that

      • HRH_Maddie

        No, Brook's is totally right. We do say things like that to each other.

        • kittensdontlie

          Krugman points out that Conservatives(R-Welfare) say it to each other also.

          • HRH_Maddie

            I'll leave it to you all to figure out which one I am. A poor conservative or a self-satisfied millionaire.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Your Gravatar is cute.

          • Doktor Zoom

            Her gravatar is part of an al Qaeda plot!

            An adorable, snoogy-woogy, OMG-squeeee-so CUTE! al Qaeda plot.

    • Katydid

      Nah, it's just Brooks seeing the way the wind is blowing. He's also a smug, rich, self-satisfied asshole, he just gets a do-over every column day.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        My only "interaction" with Brooks is on the PBSNewhour. That segment is a highlight of my Friday's. I must be a nerd.

        • Katydid

          Really? You can stand that guy? I want to punch him if even just hear his name. I think guys like him are a bigger problem than guys like Erick son of Erick. Brooks et al pretend to be independents, to be wise, considerate men, but they're just there to cater to the powers that be.

          • Isyaignert

            I want to punch the Dracula/Frankenstein-looking Reich-winged tool Charles Krauthamer, except I wouldn't want to touch him. So maybe a baseball bat.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      These pundits are all the same. Pick a current topic and blah blah blah around it, using adjectives and viewpoints as fit their branded style. It's more Mad Libs than actual writing. Doesn't matter if they contradict themselves from week to week.

      The only ones I can even stand to read any more are Krugman and a few others who spend all their time refuting Austrian/Chicago School economic theory.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Chicago Thug Economics!!!1 Oh wait, that's the "good" Chicago!1!

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        The oped pages have never been the same since Molly left us. Which is why I;m here now.

      • doloras

        You do know that "Chicago School" econ (aka Milton Friedman and those losers) are a completely different set of losers to the Austrian school, right?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Your move, Hugh Hefner.

    • James Michael Curley

      Hugh Hefner can still move?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        He can probably move better than Larry Flynt.

        Too soon?

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Poor Larry. All that totty…

        • James Michael Curley

          a squeaky wheel gets the grease

        • Isyaignert

          Oh no you didnnnn't!

  • no_gravity

    Mittens wears his magic undies in nekkid pool parties.

  • SorosBot

    "Do you believe in a government-centered society that provides more and more benefits? "

    Fuck yeah, as any person with even an ounce of a conscience does.

    • Bezoar

      I believe in a government that is able and willing to protect me from the Mitt Romneys.

  • Not_So_Much

    Now see, 'chubby white meathead' really ruins the whole nekkid pool party vibe.

    • SoBeach

      Not if I'm the chubby white meathead.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Funny thing is, it was probably a member of the catering crew who managed to sneak away form his station and blend in.

        Seth Rogan, Vince Vaughn and few other great leaders have taught us we can do these things. You go, guy.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i wish i was kidding when when i say 'maggots came to mind' when i read that.

      true fact and probably driven by the dead possum that the raccoon dragged our from behind the crap in our garage which i ignored for three days b/c mr. fuflans was out of town.

      still!! less gross than republican pool parties!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Jeez, it's teeming with wildlife on your side of town!

        • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

          you have no fucking idea. and they all come to my yard to die.

          or at least 47% of them do.

          • glasspusher

            At my place, my cat brings them inside to die…

          • Jus_Wonderin

            I believe this is the way cats show their worth. I have dogs. They just lie around. (And listen to NPR).

          • glasspusher

            My cat brings in scales, fur and feathers, alive, dead and in parts. Best time was wondering why my printer kept jamming, I finally took out the paper tray to find a live 9 inch long lizard seeking refuge in it!

          • Jus_Wonderin

            CAT: “And now, a free lizard with every HP LaserJet Printer. While supplies last.”

    • Tundra Grifter

      NSM;

      Like the old line about visting a nude beach. The good news is – it's a nude beach. The bad news? It's…

    • PubOption

      If the chubby white meathead was connected to politics, who could he be, Joe the plumber? Any of the male Palins?

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        Newt?

    • Isyaignert

      I'm having trouble with the whole "sex with a chair" thing. WTF does that look like?

  • carlgt1

    No doubt magic underwear strippers were the top act at the party!

  • ccmask

    I want to meet Mitt so that I can start my own private equity firm.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    The nekkid sex parties are the only thing that makes this guy likable … and the fact that he single-handedly helped bring down Mittens.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      and spent a shit of money doing it. the thing about these guys is the tremendous incompetence. they fuck up wars, entire global economies, political campaigns–not because doing those things is particularly hard, but because of breathtaking stupidity, arrogance, and incompetence.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        they fuck up wars…

        You would think W might have learned something useful from his daddy. And given that Cheney and Rummy had both been SECDEF once BEFORE the W administration makes ya kinda wonder.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          The difference is they knew exactly where the goalposts were in Gulf War I: Kick Saddam out of Kuwait. They knew they were starting on or about Saddam's 35 yard line, and it was just going to take a few first downs and then we're done.

          Gulf War II, they hadn't even come up with a design for the playing field when they started it. More like Calvinball than football.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Will no one ponder the fact that Leder had to rent that house in Bridgehampton, thus proving Romney's contention that the wealthy need a tax cut?

      Please help house the homeless rich!

    • anniegetyerfun

      But he didn't record the video, right? I want to know what hero did that.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        And I wonder if it was "accidental," in that he recorded it to share with his likeminded friends who couldn't afford to attend, only to find it got wider distribution than intended, or was the cameraperson actually that disgusted with Romney that he set out to sabotage him.

      • ibwilliamsi

        Clearly it was an illegal messican busboy.

        • Geminisunmars

          Illegal and invisible.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            At one point in tape two, you can clearly see what looks like a waiter clearing the table that the camera (I'm assuming it was a smartphone) was on. I'm thinking it was a guest who didn't want to call attention to the fact that he/she was taping by shooing the dude away.

    • Nostrildamus

      he single-handedly helped bring down Mittens.

      Better than single-handedly bringing him up.

  • Come here a minute

    I challenge you to find a Romney supporter who is not a "big fan of sexxytime pool parties". (Obama too.)

    • chicken_thief

      After you got the couple of homes, a few really sweet cars, a yacht, and a Leer what else you gonna do with all that green? – Titties on the deck, of course!

  • MacRaith

    Not that there's anything wrong with naked pool parties, but I wouldn't want to be at one where most of the people in attendance were Romney donors.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      You'd definitely need to wear Shade 6 or 7 welding goggles to prevent being blinded by the glare of whiteness.

    • HempDogbane

      This thing was on my birthday, which I always celebrate with a nekkid pool party in my head, so, it's almost like I was there, blinded by the white.

    • hollyrocks209

      How can I give this comment more thumbs-up votes? My favorite part of the story is where they perform sex acts (plural) … I think they were hired entertainers. Although why they couldn't find a better male sexyboy is odd.

  • fartknocker

    My naked party involves standing unclothed underneath a garden hose after sweating all day.

    • glasspusher

      Hawt.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Pics or GTFO

    • chicken_thief

      Sideboob please thank you.

      ~ Huffpo

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    That's a little unfair. Once, one couple got drunk, dived into his pool and had sex for an hour without getting arrested or tossed out on their asses.

    With a hundred people staring.

    I mean, it's like the old joke "I gave billions to charity, and no one calls me a philanthropist, but suck just one cock…."

    • Tundra Grifter

      Sex for an hour? You mean they gazed at each other for the final 55 minutes?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Alcohol may have been involved in the, um, slow climax. I'm including the fifteen minute ham-fisted crawl out of the pool and the rolling the "chubby meathead" onto his back like a beached whale.

        Or so I read. I wasn't there for that one.

        • glasspusher

          Good point. Both fore and aft play…might need moar nautical terms to describe this properly…ugh

          • Tundra Grifter

            gp:

            There was a young lady from Bangor
            Who slept while the ship lay at anchor
            She woke in dismay
            When she heard the mate say:
            "Let's lift up the topsheet and spanker!"

            ~Anon

          • glasspusher

            Lovely. Had not heard that one.

        • Tundra Grifter

          She probably needed a bookmark to find his little sailor.

  • TheGyrus

    Let he who is NOT a big fan of sexxytime pool parties cast the first stone.

    • mrpuma2u

      My problem is not that they had a nekked pool orgy, it's that they couldn't even do it right. If I had all that $$$ and a bitchin' pool, I would pull off a pool Sodom and Gomorrah bash.

  • Barbara_

    "….performed sex acts on a chair……"

    Why didn't Clint Eastwood think of this? It would have made more sense than what he wound up doing.

    • MacRaith

      But the chair apparantly did suggest that Clint perform sex acts upon himself.

    • arihaya

      ot but how did you get your ID deleted?

    • SpeedoFart

      Are you saying we should have sat around and watched Clint masturbate?

      ::shudder::

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      And there goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      "The Boobs, The Ass And The Ugly"

      • Geminisunmars

        "Gran Fellatio"

        • Lascauxcaveman

          "Play Fisty For Me"

          • woolmyn

            Rawhide

    • MadBrahms

      God, the splinters, shudder.

  • PuckStopsHere

    This is truly disgusting. I mean, can you think of a single republican you'd want to see naked?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Can we include "in a prison shower" as a modifier?

    • ph7

      Ivanka Trump pops into mind

    • SorosBot

      I hate to admit this, but there is Malkin; oh and despite her support of gay marriage and the right to choose Megs McCain is still a Republican.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Chubby Chaser…

        • SorosBot

          You must gave a different definition of "chubby" than most people.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Well, she is somewhat zaftig, after all. Not that it looks bad on her, mind you.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            Agreed, just sayin that she's had that baby fat for a loooooooong time now.

    • eggsacklywright

      Sadly, yes. Angie Harmon.

      • anniegetyerfun

        What? Republican? Really? Huh.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Yes, same as with Ol' Sleepy Fred, they wrote both of their characters as conservatives on Law & Order, because they were wingnuts in real life.

        • eggsacklywright

          Fraid so.

          Harmon is a Republican, and she and her husband delivered a speech at the 2004 Republican National Convention,[16][17] and supported John McCain for president in 2008.[18][19] She also said that she would support Sarah Palin if she ran for President in 2012.[20]

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            So, stupid as well!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            And yet, she once complained about not being taken as intelligent because she didn't hang out at Manhattan cocktail parties.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            "Stupid as well" kind of goes with the territory, unless you can use "just plain evil" in it's place.

    • chicken_thief

      MARY TODD LINCOLN LIBELZ!!!!!!

    • ibwilliamsi

      Not if I also have to look at their face. Or if they talk. Can we just blur out their face and turn down the volume?

    • banana_bread

      Robert Downey Junior. I know, I was really sad when I found out, too.

      • SorosBot

        But then that makes since; I mean Iron Man has always been the most conservative of the Avengers while Captain America has been their main liberal voice.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Ain't so.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Nope:
        http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1684924/presiden

        "Among the stars in attendance were Robert Downey Jr.,…"

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/05/republic

        "Still, Obama crushes Romney when it comes to Hollywood champions. The president has hoards of supporters including Morgan Freeman, Tom Hanks, Robert Downey, Jr.,…"

      • Geminisunmars

        That is the most shocking thing I've read this week. Makes me sad too. He is suddenly a whole lot less cute.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          See me upthread.

          • Geminisunmars

            Thanks for pointing me in the right direction, CK. I can breath again, and RDjr can be cute again.

    • bearperney

      Peggington Noonington for one.

    • Graham Cracker

      Annn Coulter. I just want to verify her/his "status."

    • YouBetcha

      Gary Sinise.

  • SorosBot

    Why not go after society's actual moochers and leeches; you know, the investors like Mitt and this asshole who make a shitload of money for doing jack shit, but somehow thing they're superior and important when in fact they are completely useless fuckheads who society would be better off without?

    • Barbara_

      Speaking of useless fuckheads…..
      I just read what Trump's convention surprise was that they didn't have time to air.
      Trump was going to say to a video of Barack Obama, "You're fired!" Yes, I am serious. Who saw that one coming?

      • SorosBot

        That was such a clever idea, only anyone who knows vaguely who Trump is could have seen that coming.

        • thatsitfortheother1

          He should fire that beaver pelt he wears on top of his mellon.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I thought he'd hired that lame Obama impersonator for the event. It would have been far more tacky that way, which is why I'm pretty sure he would have done it.

        • Graham Cracker

          I thought they might have used Clarence Thomas as the stand in for Obama. All blahs look alike, after all.

    • oenspiek

      This. Oh, very this.

    • Bezoar

      I totally agree, because the Romney style of financial predation meets the true spirit of the idea of "criminal".

    • CivicHoliday

      Leeches are blah not white, didn't you know?

  • no_gravity

    The “chubby meathead” could be either Karl Rove or Rush Limbaugh.

    • freakishlywrong

      Gross. Bleehhhhch…or Glenn Beck..oh God…ugh..

      • no_gravity

        Yeah, but Beck would have to be in the magic undies too.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Unlikely – if El Rushbo had got into the pool, it would have resulted in a party-ending overflow event. That being said, doing it in the water would be the only way to lift his fupa to gain access to "Little Rush"
      God, I just grossed myself out….

      • no_gravity

        That would be the Archimedes' Principle in action. But that would be all sciencey and stuff.

        • YasserArraFeck

          Archimedes is a furriner, correct?
          Build the dang wall!!

    • HistoriCat

      Except that chubby meathead was cavorting with a lady.

      • no_gravity

        Now that you've pointed that out, yes that would be a flaw with Rush and Rove.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      neither one. when either of those dudes is nekkid, it takes a doctor to determine their gender.

    • vtxmcrider

      Chris Christie. Just imagine what that stud muffin looks like when he is naked.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Thanx for that visual. Now I'll be off my feed longer than a teenager with mono.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Mike Stivic libel!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Codger!

        • Tundra Grifter

          Honey Codger Don't Care!

          (c) 2012 Tundra Grifter Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved foreign and domestic

  • freakishlywrong

    "Or do you believe instead in a free-enterprise society where people are able to pursue their dreams?”

    The invisible hand ought to punch you in the dick. People can't "pursue their dreams" if they're making slave wages and their kids are starving.

    • AbandonHope_

      I tried to pursue my dreams once, but it required me to take a toll road and I was out of money.

    • schvitzatura

      Corporations can pursue a dream, too, right?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      In the GOP's America, feeding your kids is a dream.

      • anniegetyerfun

        "Shoot for the stars, peons! Imagine an evening of name-brand soup for the little ones back home!"

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Unless it's feeding your kids TO a war machine

    • Bezoar

      What if your dream is to find a dumpster with a half-eaten pizza?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Then your dreams are easily within your grasp! Is this not an exceptional country?

    • Tundra Grifter

      fw: (r)Money already explained how they can pursue their dreams. Just borrow the money from their families. Where the Hell have you been?

  • pinkocommi

    This story shouldn't surprise anyone. Fucking over the American people is Republicans' favorite pastime.While the rest of us stand by and watch.

  • http://www.wonkette.com John Birf Society

    Apparently "tanned female guest" created at least one job that night.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Gotta hand it to her.

    • arihaya

      a job that blows

    • anniegetyerfun

      Maybe she can take Romney's place in the campaign? There's no way she could do much worse.

      • chicken_thief

        The poles are her speciality.

        • eggsacklywright

          Just like Mittz, very knowledgeable about Poles.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            As Bush said, "don't forget Pole-land", or something.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Shazaam!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Another company that sank into bankruptcy was Real Mex, owner of the Chevy’s restaurant chain.

    Wait, he destroyed the moderately-priced family restaurant chain that featured "roll your own" tortilla machines, where customers could make their own taco shells and such???

    OK, NOW I want him killed! With votes!

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      THAT BASTARD!

      No really, I used to love that place. They're black beans were good.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I know! And they had a really nice salsa.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Great, now I'm hungry.

          • glasspusher

            Please, guys- Chevys is teh suk compared to good local messican. Where do you guys live? I know Actor is in NYC, plenty of good messican there.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Nobody is saying they were authentic, but they were a decent alternative for people who are not big fans of LARD.

          • glasspusher

            Doctor: Stay away from saturated fats!Patient: I haven't been in a pool hall in years!

        • no_gravity

          I was just going to post that they had salsa that didn't taste like pink watered down ketchup.

      • SorosBot

        I loved Friendly's; as a kid, my great aunt used to take me there when she babysat me on days off from school. The fuckhead.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          I worked at a Friendly's back in my H.S. days. The food was (and is) merely average, but the ice cream was (and is) pretty good … although I'm not sure Bloomberg will let you get a Fribble in NYC.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            My first time at a Friendly's was in Framingham (I think), MA, where I got sick as a dog after a burger and a sundae. I was eleven.

            One of my happiest meals ever.

          • glasspusher

            Ms glasspusher used to waitress there. I keep telling her I'm going to get her another Friendly's uniform for a little role playing…

          • glasspusher

            Fribbles, not so hot. Vanilla ice milk. I'm a strict "black and black" when it comes to my chocolate shakes, but they make those too…

        • mmeetoilenoir

          Friendly's is still around. I just ate there on my way back to IL from NJ. There are a few off Rt. 80. Turkey/bacon Supermelt and Butter Crunch ice cream for the win!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Their there.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          O hai! My nayme iz BSFD end yoo cin tayk ur fancee spellin an gramer an shuv it! Eeleetist!!!

          Okay, I think I just broke my autocorrect for good.

    • HuddledMass

      Yeah! And Friendly's – ice cream sodas, I miss them.

      • shelwood46

        Friendlys must have done a reorg because the one near me just remodeled and had a "Grand Re-Opening" in July. Chevy's is gone, though. Boarded up and everything.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Oh, beat me to it. Those chips were fucking awesome.

    • CivicHoliday

      Fur realz! Chevy's salsa and fish tacos were the bomb (and, sadly, the only good cheap Mexican food super near my house…now I'm stuck with Taco Hell if I have a burrito craving), and Friendly's ice cream was my second favorite way to celebrate completing big projects in grad school (NH), second to beer. Lots of beer.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I have never heard of any of the restaurants he closed, haven't seen them in Illinois/the NFC North.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Well … this is good news for John McCain's pool parties.

    • Estproph

      Ew.

      Q: What do you call John McCain in a hot tub?
      A: Soup.

  • eggsacklywright

    This is more exciting than the Large Hardon Collider.

    • Oblios_Cap

      No, it's not.

      • glasspusher

        Higgs? Is that you?

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          It's Higg's Bosom.

          • glasspusher

            Excellent- Pauli exclusion principle doesn't apply! I'm in!

          • eggsacklywright

            Ahoy! Bosun Higgs on deck.

  • ph7

    Those Russian pool strippers were entrepreneurs, not victims! They lifted themselves up by their own g-strings!

    • chicken_thief

      Outsourcing good 'Murkin jerbs. Always with the outsourcing.

      • ph7

        Russian strippers are like Russian caviar:

        Sometimes you need to import top quality, even if the domestic version is cheaper and readily available.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Nothing like rolling through Turkey with a Russian stripper.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Do you believe in a government-centered society that provides more and more benefits? Or do you believe instead in a free-enterprise society where people are able to pursue their dreams?”

    These scenarios are not mutually exclusive.

    • e_z

      I believe in the Church of Baseball

    • oenspiek

      Some asshats are happy with lots of government benefits, as long as they only come to them.

    • Bezoar

      Multiple upfists!!

  • ttommyunger

    Right-Wing sexytime WITHOUT rent-boys? WTF?

    • glasspusher

      In Boca Raton they're called Cabana Boys, obs.

      • ttommyunger

        Or simply “Sweet Cheeks”.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

    • anniegetyerfun

      RINOs, obvs.

      • ttommyunger

        Republicans Into NAMBLA Orgies?

  • arihaya

    the best thing is that Jimmy Carter's grandson helped leaked the video.
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/sep/18/mitt-

    JIMMY CARTER'S GRANDSON sealed Romney's campaign, what a justice we have

    • prommie

      Well ain't that perfect, since Mitt just tried to insult Obama by comparing him to Carter, WRT the embassy attacks.

      • Misty Malarky

        Romney got hisself an ass-whoopin' – Carter County style!

        Plus: James Carter plays a mean sax.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          In pursuing this story wherever it took me all over Wikipedia, I discovered that your full name is "Misty Malarky Ying Yang." This makes me snicker, because a "ying-yang" is clearly something different than Yin and Yang.

          • Misty Malarky

            'Ying Yang' has more Yin Yang than 'Yin Yang', or so thought Lil' Amy.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Best thing ever!

  • James Michael Curley

    After reading that, I do not want to know why the video was so blurry.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    You're being mean. He created jobs. Jobs like Cum Dumpster and "Squeegees the Cum off the Walls" Guy

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Strange, though, he didn’t actually back away from his statement about those Obama voters who are dependent on the gummint; all he said was that the comments in May were not “elegantly stated.”

    This "elegantly stated" was "Let them eat cake," douchehat.

    • MadBrahms

      He's come a long way from "those aren't the words I would have chosen", hasn't he?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Hey Mitt: the problem is not that it was not "elegantly stated" – the problem is that you said it in plain English.

  • RadioX

    FapFapFapFap.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    These are values voters!!!

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Also, too, he was apparently pretty lousy at creating jobs

    Well, he definitely created a lot of a certain type of jobs.

  • eggsacklywright

    And Ann Egg rode Rafalca. Right there in front of everyone.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    a male guest described as a “chubby white meathead”

    Why is it that most nekid sexytime parties are attended by people who should be adding clothes, not removing them.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He had a huge….bankroll

    • Katydid

      maybe the "head" in meathead meant….oh never mind.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Well, the local swinger community is bi and large.

  • arihaya

    I used to think that Mai Favorite was some stupid manga. Turns out that's exactly how the filthy rich really spend their spare time

  • prommie

    We have a pool and a pond. The pond would be good for those 47 percent of people.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The world needs ditchdiggers, too.

      • prommie

        Well, do you want to be good, or bad?

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Miss it Noonan…

        • eggsacklywright

          Naughty and nice both sound good to me.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Is this an invitation for a sexytime fundraiser?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    That chubby, white meathead has been a Romney supporter ever since he lost that basketball game.

    • Geminisunmars

      At least he has a good reason.

  • Estproph

    “I am talking about a political process of drawing people in my campaign. … My campaign is about helping people take more responsibility,” Romney said."

    Romney in a nutshell: complaining about people not taking responsibility, while not taking responsibility.

  • ph7

    She MOUNTED Rafalca BAREBACK, who had a bit in her mouth(!)

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Reverse cowgirl!

    • chicken_thief

      For freez or for the alleged $250k ie. Romney walk around cash?

    • vtxmcrider

      While Mitt mounted Rafalca from behind while standing on that same chair.

  • mavenmaven

    Blow Jobs Creators!
    (and I bet there was a lot of blow, as well, at that party)

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Dr Zoom, you mispelled 'Guillermo "Mitt" Romero.'

  • glasspusher

    I'm a scantily dressed half-Russian pretty much every night at bedtime, and I rarely get invited to pool parties. WTF?

    • AznMom420

      the glasspusher ceiling

  • Mojopo

    I wondered how I would feel the morning after Mitt figuratively shit the bed. I am still mad.

    Funny how the ultra-rich have the same kinds of parties as people in a trailer parks in the rural South. The only difference is dental care, the quality of the swimmin' hole and income, but the rest is the same. Like freakin' dogs, is what I'm saying.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Finally — we know what they have in common!

    • AznMom420

      Last time chubby white meathead jumped into the aboveground nekkid you had to file for flood damage on the Camaro.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Today, we are all chubby white meatheads.

    What? It can't be just me!

    • Mojopo

      You have adorbs, actor212, all over your body. Adorbs. Don't you see it?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I said it last thread: Dermatitis. It's a curse.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Near as I can tell, Mitt wasn't in attendance when these shenanigans took place. Seems like this kind of action would be more up Clinton's alley, anyway.

    • ChrisM2011

      Big Dawg would be the first to cannonball…

    • Naked_Bunny

      Maybe it is. Do we know who the chubby white meathead was?

    • anniegetyerfun

      To be fair to Mitt, I don't think he has it in him to do anything that involves nudity. He didn't attend the party on the yacht flying whichever flag or ensign was supposed to signify the Cayman Islands, either. It's just what his supporters seem to do.

    • magic_titty

      Everyone knows Mittens would rust if chlorine water got into his gears.

    • James Michael Curley

      You get one blow job in a closet off the oval office and you're branded for life.

      "Hey, Monica, let's see that Oval Face."

  • thatsitfortheother1

    And Boca Raton? Mouth Rat? Really?

  • qwerty42

    Well, it almost goes without saying: "this is good news for Mitt Romney." I mean, look at all the publicity he is getting! You couldn't buy this kind of attention. What will Obama do to counter this?

  • superdave

    I am also a big fan of sexxytime pool parties. Sadly I'm not a zillionaire, so I have no way of making them happen. But still. Fan. Big fan.

  • Katydid

    When Mitt loses, and he will lose, yesterday will forever be known in American politics as a "Mitt Moment." The moment a candidate definitively loses a campaign that was oh so close.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Making yesterday my official "favorite day of the year so far".

  • BaldarTFlagass

    What's up with these women they're showing up top, with the huge eyes and no noses? That's not hot; I mean, no nose probably means no deep throat action.

    • superdave

      Yeah, it's the Japanese idealization of the perfect female. Strangely enough she also has tentacles that can come out on command.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Come out of where?!?!

    • MadBrahms

      I'm more alarmed by the fact that the girl on the diving board is short-circuiting and throwing off lightning bolts. I hope their tentaclular pleasure-pool has GFCI outlets.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Did you see the size of their mouths? It's hard (or very embarassing) to imagine any sort of action.

  • Terry

    Well, all I can say is that I'm thankful that THAT particular party wasn't a nekkid pool party. No one should have to see that many old rich Romney supporters cumulatively during a life time, let alone at one event.

  • Failed_2_Menace

    Maybe Mitt is right that he can only be criticized for speaking so inelegantly. Let's see his statement gussied up a bit.

    47 of 100 souls in this great land, heedless of the internal fortitude that coalesced with patritoism and sheer will in their unwavering, negro-possessing forefathers, toil beneath the devastating yoke of victimhood, and have allowed the germination of a poison seed that has blossomed into the erroneous belief that their fellow man, through facility of the governmental institution and its role as promoter of the general welfare, owe them anything at all.

    Hmmph. Still a tool. Imagine that.

    • bearperney

      I was waiting for someone to do an elegant version of Mitt's statement. Good work!

    • PubOption

      A nicely polished turd, but still a turd.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Chubby public fornicators are people too, my friend.

  • BadKitty904

    It's sounding like the GOP can't decide whether it wants to burn the Reichstag or Rome…

    • SorosBot

      At least the ancient Romans knew that the people were entitled to food, unlike Romney.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And circuses!

  • PennyDreadful

    "…scantily dressed Russians danced on platforms…"

    I'm picturing bears.

    • chicken_thief

      Brian Urlacher moonlighting in the off season?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    How come good looking people never have nekkid pool parties?

  • prommie

    All that seems to be missing is Berlusconi yelling "Bunga Bunga!"

  • AnAmericanInTO

    Oh man, this does my heart proud that this tape is actually reaching beyond our hallowed Wonkette University walls. Sadly, I think even this is not enough to overcome a certain president's blah-ness.

    Speaking of that president, I just got my absentee ballot in the mail and learned one thing: I had no idea that Roseanne Barr's running mate was Cindy Sheehan. Who's been hiding THAT little chestnut.

  • DahBoner

    Romney's New Plan: Get a Plan

    Step 1: Admit you're a dumbass.

    • LibertyLover

      He's gonna need at least 12 steps.

  • GhostBuggy

    Where did that picture come from, and are there more? I ask for a friend.

  • Eve8Apples

    "performed sex acts on a chair in front of astonished guests."

    Republicans sure like to do freaky things with chairs in front of large audiences.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    No mention of buttsechs. How very disappointing.

    • anniegetyerfun

      See? The rich are NOT like us.

  • Toomush_Infer

    As long as the chubby pool guy wasn't a certain young English prince, and the blond wasn't Ann….nothing to see here, move along…

  • Misty Malarky

    Q: What does one wear to a plutocratic chubby white meathead pool party circle jerk?

    A: As little as possible.

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    I mean…. you can criticize those who sit on their stoop all day smoking Kools, drinking Schlitz, and waiting for the 3rd of the month to come around…. but really… even if they wanted to work? What options do they really have? Another reason why Mitt is an a-hole of the highest order…. jobs Mittens… we need jobs… not in Asia… but here…

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Sailor Moon is a friend of Mitt Romney's?

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Chubby meathead? Chris Christie? “Tanned” female guest? Snooki?

    Eeeysh.

    • JohnnyQuick

      Christie has blown past 'chubby' like Chris Christie running towards a sandwich.

    • chicken_thief

      Christie is to chubbie and a fucking nuclear bomb is to firecracker.

  • West Egg

    So that's one man and one woman. Aaaand a few more women. And maybe another dude, but NO CROSSING SWORDS.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Wait, he was responsible for making Chevy's go out of business? They had really good chips, you fucker.

  • crybabyboehner

    Mr. Leder later whined that the media just wants to focus on the 25 nights when he parties, instead of the other 340 nights a year when he watches ER reruns.

    As Tina Fey said about Catherine the Great: You fuck one horse, everybody calls you a horse fucker.

  • Misty Malarky

    OT!

    A chubby meathead just smirked on the TV that it doesn't matter what bile Romney spews 'cause he's gonna spend more money, which means ROMNEY DEFEATS OBAMA.

  • Naked_Bunny

    Sounds to me like somebody was just taping an episode of Californication.

  • smashedinhat

    Remember when the Bilderberg used to hide under a gold and diamond encrusted rock? Me neither. Thank U Mittens!

  • PinkoPopulist

    Let's face it. Naked hot tub parties are as quintessentially rich-white dude as it gets.

  • bitchincamaro2

    FLOATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • LibertyLover

      Chris Christie?

  • Buckminster

    "Fat white meathead" is hardly boner-inducing when I think about nekkid sexytime pool parties.

    Bleah.

  • glamourdammerung

    Marc Leder must have been offended about Bishop Romney's comment about the leeches taking handouts from the government considering his business record.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Leder's comment: "I spend a small percentage throwing some parties, attending some parties. I like music. I like to dance."

    Yep, half a million dollars, just for the mansion rental, is a "small percentage". You can see how a "small percentage" tax hike would just take away all the fun for the money badgers.

  • ThundercatHo

    The part of this story that makes me want to kick this guy in the dick repeatedly with my cowgirl boots on is that he forced Friendly's into bankruptcy in order to avoid paying employee pensions. It's a fucking ice cream parlor! For fuck's sake!! He took away the money of senior citizens and single moms working as waitstaff at a fucking ice cream parlor! This really pisses me off. In fact, I got 3 horses so all I need is one more horse and some rope. Who's with me?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Looting retirees' pensions to pay for rented mansions and pool parties . . . yeah, we got a special place reserved for this fucker.

  • An_Outhouse

    Was the Sea of Galilee not available?

  • ibwilliamsi

    “chubby white meathead” = Karl Rove

    • VaWyo

      Oh dear god, the visual on that one.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    when you’re back in the private sector in a couple months.

    Bang. Dead solid perfect.

  • Jerri

    Could have been more elegantly stated! Ha!

    By all means, Mittworth, please do go on, preferably in front of a microphone at an upcoming presidential debate, say.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i think it's safe to say that NO ONE at this particular pool party looked like that picture

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      If you ever see anyone who looks like someone in that picture, have your doctor adjust your dosage.

  • Yellerdawg

    Wait! I'm a chubby white meathead, I have a pool and I've been naked in it. Where's my private equity firm? I don't even have a friend with one, or even know anyone willing to plunk down half-a-mil for a month in a Hampton party/high end crack house and invite me to the festivities!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      And you may ask yourself,
      "where is my private equity firm?!"

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I'm actually impressed: It's not easy to enter the game on third base, and then get picked off at first.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Half a million for a month in the Hamptons???

    What is this a room above a garage or something?

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Think about this over lunch: Chris Christie at the naked pool party.

    • DahBoner

      America's Latest Diet Fad –Throwing Up In Your Mouth A Little

  • anniegetyerfun

    I am relishing the thought of Romney's campaign headquarters right now, where several minions are shifting through seating charts from the fundraiser while Ann shrieks, "Find that bastard who filmed this! And have him beheaded!". And the dudes looking over the seating charts are, like, "He could be the one next to Jenna Jameson?"

    Ah. Delish.

    • http://for-the-turnstiles.blogspot.com 4TheTurnstiles

      May have *been* Jenna Jameson. I'm working on the assumption that the leaker is an ex-girlfriend or paid escort to some rich fuck she can't stand

      • bearperney

        Bet you're right and God bless her!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      CSI Mittens.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I hope Mitt's really looking forward to losing this election so he can stop making up stupid bullshit excuses for all the awful, perfidious, uncaring self-indulgent bullshit he says to his rich fat fuck friends in his unguarded moments. And the belittling sneering put-downs he offers to those he considers his lessers in his unguarded moments. And the usual tin-eared uncaring self-centered shit he just says all the time even when it's scripted.

  • DahBoner

    MORMON LDS BUNGA BUNGA PARTY!!!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Hence the old saying 'I don't drink water, fish fuck in it.'
    http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    I pity the fool who has never been to a party where BJ's broke out.

  • CivicHoliday

    I never much did like paying Payroll and Sales tax. Thanks, Mitt, for reminding me I don't actually have to pay anything at all! I'm a non-contributer sucking the gubbmint teat! As is my retired father who worked in public education for 40 years!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Horny Japanese guys have a strange conception of the ideal European woman.

    • Veritas78

      Although the graphics here at Wonket are definitely improving, what with this anime and the fuzzy penis.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    chubby white meathead” and a “tanned” female guest stripped and hopped into the pool naked…. Multiple witnesses say the naked pair continued their show outside the pool and performed sex acts on a chair in front of astonished guest

    I am like 90% certain I have encountered that exact couple at an East Village bar.

    What, it's not like there are multiple pairs of chubby meatheads and tanned girls with exhibitionist/PDA tendancies in the places in New York where alcohol is served, are there?

    Edited to add:Also, too. I really am going to assume these are all the same couple, for sanity reasons.

  • GregComlish

    In my book a rich fat-ass fucking a 5-star Russian whore a party does not constitute a "party"

  • oenspiek

    It gives me a sad that the text refers to nekkid pool time, and the pic clearly shows anime cuties wearing bikinis. Are we stuck with decency, at long last?

  • bearperney

    Well we have a trend. Mitt's response to Rush's degenerate description of Ms. Fluke was: "I wouldn't have used that language." Now, with the 47%, it is: "…not elegantly stated.". In both cases he never disavowed what was clearly meant. A dickish trend indeed.

  • Nostrildamus

    We do not even think that counts as an “orgy” in Boise…

    In Boise, any sex act that involves more than one person is considered an orgy.

    Note: no limit on livestock!

  • Guppy

    As the self-declared resident expert on hand-drawn Japanese smut, I must take issue with the alt text. The male characters in such "harem" fare are almost always bland, devoid of defining characteristics or even personalities in order to be an Everyman that the typically male audience can easily relate to and imagine themselves as.

    Mitt Romney is bland and devoid of defining characteristics and personality, but is in no way relatable.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Out of curiosity, I checked the image info at the top and saw it was called "anime pool girls 4" or something. What about the other 3? WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING OUT ON US, DOCTOR ZOOM? (If that IS your real handle!)

  • Sheesko

    Chubby white meathead. Hmm…I'm thinking Rush Limbaugh. The tanned female guest? That would have to be Janice Brewer. Excuse me, I'm feeling a little…'scuse me…right back….

  • AznMom420

    This story was also covered in "Meathead Double Digest #420" followed by a brief episode where Meathead shows up to the winter formal accidentally wearing Veronica's dress.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Bunga Bunghole. They are Republicans, after all.