Stick A Fork In Him (With Votes)

Even David Brooks Thinks Mitt Romney’s 47% Comments 100% Dickish

Don't be such a dick, dawgOh, Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney. You know how you can tell that you’ve really stepped in it? A tiny hint of evidence that your problems go well past not being “elegantly stated”?

One big hint would be when Conservative Icon William Kristol calls your comments “stupid and arrogant.” Another might be when the terminally equitable David Brooks suggests you don’t have a clue about the country you want to lead:

…as a description of America today, Romney’s comment is a country-club fantasy. It’s what self-satisfied millionaires say to each other. It reinforces every negative view people have about Romney.

All we need now is for the Ghost of David Broder to appear and say “While it is of course important to consider all sides of the question, Mitt Romney has truly screwed the pooch this time.”

Let us just savor a few of the better moments in Mr. Brooks’ dissection of the Romney campaign’s still-twitching corpse:

  • “Romney, who criticizes President Obama for dividing the nation, divided the nation into two groups: the makers and the moochers.”
  • “This comment suggests a few things. First, it suggests that he really doesn’t know much about the country he inhabits. Who are these freeloaders? Is it the Iraq war veteran who goes to the V.A.? Is it the student getting a loan to go to college? Is it the retiree on Social Security or Medicare?”
  • “It suggests that Romney doesn’t know much about the culture of America. Yes, the entitlement state has expanded, but America remains one of the hardest-working nations on earth.”
  • “It says that Romney doesn’t know much about the political culture. Americans haven’t become childlike worshipers of big government. On the contrary, trust in government has declined.”
  • “Romney’s comments also reveal that he has lost any sense of the social compact…The Republican Party, and apparently Mitt Romney, too, has shifted over toward a much more hyperindividualistic and atomistic social view — from the Reaganesque language of common citizenship to the libertarian language of makers and takers.”
  • “The final thing the comment suggests is that Romney knows nothing about ambition and motivation. The formula he sketches is this: People who are forced to make it on their own have drive. People who receive benefits have dependency.

    But, of course, no middle-class parent acts as if this is true. Middle-class parents don’t deprive their children of benefits so they can learn to struggle on their own.”

That last is very good to know. We had been considering telling Kid Zoom that we would no longer foster a culture of dependency by paying for or driving him to his after-school tennis lessons, but Mr. Brooks has set us straight on that one. You dodged a bullet this time, kiddo.

By the end of the column, of course, Brooks does revert somewhat to his usual irritatingly bipartisan tone. He personally thinks Romney is “a kind, decent man who says stupid things because he is pretending to be something he is not.” And even as he damns Romney’s “depressingly inept presidential campaign,” he insists that Romney’s “entitlement reform ideas are essential” — a notion undermined by virtually everything preceding that attempt at conciliation in the final paragraph.

Having thoroughly chewed Romney up, Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.

[New York Times]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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  1. Barbara_

    I keep asking myself if Mitt could get any more thoughtless. It's like he heard me and he's turning it into a personal challenge.

    1. Callyson

      Was your exact question "Can Mittens become exponentially thoughtless"? That seems to be what he's aiming for…

    2. PsycWench

      "Thoughtless" implies an absence of thought. It's like he went to the other end of the continuum and is now having anti-thoughts.

    3. Boojum

      I read an article in Psychology Today talking about the extreme levels of narcissism in CEO types. I wonder if it was a case study of one Willard Mitt Thurston Howell the Turd Romney.

    4. miss_grundy

      I hope he goes rogue during the debates and says something truly, truly stupid and, perhaps, the undecided will finally wake up and say…where's the polling place so I can vote for Obama.

    5. GeorgiaMike

      Never assume Republicans cannot get any more heartless, any more thoughtless or any less imbued with the American spirit. Every time you think they have hit bottom, they dig a little deeper. Just watch, Mittens will read Jonathan Swift and decide we should feed the homeless to the hungry. "Soylent Mitt is … is … PEOPLE!"

      1. tessiee

        They already think "The Handmaid's Tale" and "1984" are instruction manuals, so why not "A Modest Proposal"?

    1. NYNYNYjr

      Oh, Brooks could stand it. But he knows a dying Wildabeast when he sees it and the smart jackal gets the haunch.

  2. Lucidamente1

    Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.

    I didn't know that "nice" means "as clueless a dick as Mitt Romney, but with way less money."

    1. Kid_Charlemagne

      Well, he just bought a 4 million dollar townhouse in DC, so being a clueless shill for the GOP appears to pay off.

    2. HogeyeGrex

      Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.

      Everyone knows Brooks is a swallower.

    1. Lavenderp

      I seriously doubt David Brooks will stay lost for long. He's probably already back to defending most of Romney's idiocies…

  3. slithytoves

    Even the Neanderthals took care of their weak, aged, and infirm. What does that make Romney? A protozoan?

          1. glasspusher

            Single celled organism seeks same for mitosis, meiosis, more. Please respond quickly, as my life span is 3 days.

  4. johnnyzhivago

    Next time my mooching kids need a ride or help with homework – it's "FOR FREE??? GET A JOB KID" – because if I don't charge you for helping, you'll just never learn the value of what I'm doing!

    1. Lavenderp

      Ha! That reminds me of a New Yawker cartoon where one kid says to another, "For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad a free hour of tech support".

    2. hagajim

      Ironically, a ton of the folks who Mittens would decry as moochers are actually full time workers who qualify for assistance because they get paid like shit. Dickish dick being dickish.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      This. If someone told me in November 2008 that someone would run a more inept, bumbling campaign than McCain/Palin, I would have suggested that they seek professional help. Juan must REALLY be smiling over current developments.

    2. Tundra Grifter


      Sen. McCain would look bad if the guy who lost to the guy who lost to Mr. Obama beat Mr. Obama.

      Although Mr. Obama would look even worse.

      Happily, it kinda begins to sorta look like that ain't gonna happen. A little.

    3. valthemus

      The Romney campaign is doing an *excellent* job of reaching out to the greed-heads, plutocrats, Christianists, racists, pre-Civil-War-traditionalists and anti-government conspiracy loons who are, of course, the only people who really matter in American society. I don't know what you all are talking about.

  5. anniegetyerfun

    Wait, if Bill Kristol hates what you are saying, does that mean that what you are saying is actually good?

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Well, no. Kristol fantasizes about Mitt stepping aside so the GOP can have the far more relatable Ryan-Rubio ticket.

      1. Tundra Grifter

        Or Palin + 1. I think in his heart of hearts he still yearns for her.

        Or maybe that feeling is a little lower down.

    2. tessiee

      Yes, basically.
      Bill Kristol is the wrongest wrong in the history of wrongness. He couldn't predict Christmas at ten minutes to midnight on December 24th. If he said the sky was blue, I'd go outside with a camera to get a picture of the green sky.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    Ayn Rand will see your 47%, and double it. Well, she would if she were alive and still on Medicare and Social Security.

    1. MittBorg

      Which she took under her married name because even SHE, despite being a totally rotten fucking psychopath, had a weensie little bit of shame about blatant hypocrisy.

        1. MittBorg

          Or "Mother Teresa," leaving her "saved" children to die agonizing deaths of preventable causes while patronizing the best doctors for the slightest cold in her ancient skanky carcass.

          1. comrad_darkness

            To her credit, she did always feel guilty about her shortcomings and questioned whether god really gave a crap.

  7. coolhandnuke

    My country club fantasy is Donald Trump taking a nine-iron in the nuts from a free-swinging Bill Murray.

  8. actor212

    It’s what self-satisfied millionaires say to each other.

    Errrr, um, David? Not for nothing, but it was one self-satisfied billionaire talking to a roomful of self-satisfied billionaires, all of whom will be first against the wall when the revolution (with votes!) comes.

    1. SoBeach

      I used to think Romney was an okay guy. I never thought he should be allowed anywhere near the Oval Office, but I thought he was okay.

      Not anymore. A guy who pisses on half the people in this country to drum up donations from millionaires and billionaires is just an awful, awful person.

      1. Veritas78

        I came to that conclusion when I heard about him being the ringleader in pinning the gay kid down and cutting his hair, and then not remembering having done so. This is the same guy, and it's the real Romney.

  9. Peckerwood_Pete

    You know you are doing a shitty job as a Neocon when even Bill Kristol shits on you, on a fairly regular basis….

  10. anniegetyerfun

    Brooks also takes a moment out of his day to say that unemployment insurance fosters a culture of dependency. Because people who are out of work LOVE making $200 a week for the next two years and would rather do that than find a real job.

      1. finallyhappy

        I think I will ask Brooks to find my daughter the next time I see him- she has a college degree and then a "prestigious" internship(according to a grad school that didn't accept her but touted her very internship as one of the things they could offer) but works p/t at two jobs. Brooks is a pretentious shit

        1. MittBorg

          Indeed, there are no jobs to be had. I remember when I looked around nervously at all the highly-paid partying we were enjoying in the '90s and said to everyone, "This can't possibly last." I forget who it was who said the stock market was acting like it was on Prozac. We went from that to this, and most of my friends are either grinding their lives away at jobs that demand more and more (as if 60 hours a week were a baseline) or have given up looking altogether. I hope things improve for your daughter.

      2. anniegetyerfun

        Right? I love the idea that the increased number of Americans relying on government assistance is despite to the fact that the country is TEEMING with jobs that pay a fair wage and it's just that no one (Black) wants to take those jobs. I mean, who hasn't seen the desperate advertisements from firms willing to pay a living wage, health care benefits, and offer a 401K recently?

        "Please come work for us!," they beg, staring plaintively at the television, "We just can't hire people fast enough!"

        1. MittBorg

          I think at this point we're past wanting a *fair* wage. It's a *living* wage people are asking for. If you're 35 or older and in the market, chances are you have at least one kid, a mortgage, and one or more aging parents. You have to be able to get a job that will allow you to pay your mortgage and school loans, feed, clothe, and educate your kid, and put something away for that inevitable day when your parents will need your help. And they will. Given Social Security and Medicare, most people can expect realistically that they won't have to support their parents *financially,* but the strain of being a caregiver, whether part- or full-time, plays a role in the kinds of careers women choose, and eats into the time and money that a functioning family needs to survive. And of course, add a single catastrophic illness or accident into that mix and you're looking at all kinds of trouble.

          1. proudgrampa

            You just wrote my current biography. I'm over 60, my kids have already finished school (why my retirement account isn't where it should be, but my kids are debt-free) but all the rest is essentially me. If my 97-year old mother should have a really serious issue, I'm fucked.

            NOW you know why I drink all the time.

          2. MittBorg

            (Hugs you) Most of us have that story. I spent all my vacation time and every extra penny over the past 25 years flying home to take care of my aging parents. If I had kids, it would have been impossible. I think I drank steadily throughout those decades as my mother grew more obnoxious and intractable and my father less able to care for either of them.

            I will say, however, that jobs ARE coming back, and while we're not going to see the heady days of the '90s, with recruiters storming down our doors, I'm encouraged by the fact that several friends have just found work within the past month or two. Permanent jobs, I mean, with benefits. So things ARE improving, don't let them grind you down, and remember, it could always be worse: we could be in fucking Pakistan right now. (Hugs you again)

            Oh, yeah, and you can come get one of those any time you need it. It may not be much, but a hug in times of need will get you through the worst.

          3. proudgrampa

            (Hugs you right back) Well, I will say that I share your optimism (I've been down so long, everything looks like up to me). I think something's gotta give, sometime.

            I appreciate the hugs. You can just never get enough hugs!

            (Hugs you again)

          4. MittBorg

            Exactly. Yeah. That stuff. Life sucks plenty enough that you really have to find a way to get the lovingkindness you need from the world around you and just keep putting one foot in front of the other and going on. It's people's lovingkindness that makes it possible for us to go on, and even to find joy around us. Whether it's the kids or grandkids or old friends or virtual friends. Thanks for the hugs.

          5. tessiee

            "add a single catastrophic illness or accident into that mix and you're looking at all kinds of trouble."

            As the guy in the wheelchair said, "I wasn't always "like this". I used to be just like you until I got hit by a drunk driver. Remember, we're all just one bad car accident away from Welfare".

      3. tessiee

        Yeah, it's like a store.
        all we have to do is walk into Jobmart, pick out a job that appeals to us, say, "I'd like that Cowboy Astronaut one, please", and it's ours for the asking.

  11. Toomush_Infer

    NPR did a carefully crafted (by the Mormon Church) segment on the lives of "average Mormons" a few weeks back. It's clear that this dickishness extends beyond Mitt.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Yeah. I had to wonder how NPR got turned into part of the Mormon PR machine. Nobody mentioned Plan 10 From Outer Space which clearly demonstrates that Mormonism is an alien plot to conquer earth.

    2. hagajim

      The religion (IMHO) is pretty much full of self-satisfied dicks who would knife you in the back in 2 seconds if it allowed them a leg up.

    1. actor212

      Here's what finally got me to stop staring:

      It's a chew toy for a dog.

      Probably a poodle owned by a faaaaaaaaaaaaabulous man on Christopher Street with braided pubes.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            Well, the only reason I figured it out is because I just got back from visiting my cousin and she recently procured one of those critters. Otherwise, I'd probably still be in "hmm, fuzzy penis" mode my damn self.

    1. Steverino247

      If I had enough money that I could bet 10K like that, I'd have a hard time getting someone to take the bet as that's a sure thing!

    2. mbatch

      Unfortunately, the bar is set so low for Mitt at this point that "bipartisan" types like Brooks will give him the win if he manages not to drool.

    3. tihond

      How did Kitten Mittens do in the Republican debates? It seemed like after each one they were grasping for a new "Not Mitt."

      1. HistoriCat

        Mitt was surrounded by idiots who were in love with the sound of their own voices. So he could just stay quiet and let Gingrich, Cain, Santorum, etc. tear away at each other. His toughest moments were when he had to actually say something. It's going to be a very different – and much more lonely – place when he's debating Obama.

    4. Tundra Grifter

      During the Republican primary debates, (r)Money was a remarkably arrogant jerk. I think it's 50-50 that Mr. Obama gets him to lose his temper. And make a complete ass out of himself. Again.

      1. emmelemm

        Just like an episode of Law & Order where the prosecutors get the accused to go into full rage mode on the stand – PRESTO! Conviction!

  12. no_gravity

    In 7 weeks and 1 day I bet Mitt returns to Colonia Juárez where it might be a little safer than to stay in the US.

  13. SoBeach

    How is it that David Brooks is surprised by what was said in what Romney thought was one of those "quiet rooms"?

    1. MittBorg

      David Brooks is a dick. He's not surprised at all, he's indignant. Because he's been a water-carrier for the Republicans for the best part of his professional life, and Mittney just punched a big ol' hole in that boat. Nearly every member of the monied class (and I include David Brooks in this because although he may not have that kind of money, he sure has pretensions, or aspirations, to that kind of class) thinks exactly like Mitt Romney. They're just too smart to say so out loud where anyone else can hear them. And Mitt would never have said this in public (note that his first defense of his remarks was that he says this all the time in public). Now how is David Brooks supposed to carry water for the Republican Party any more?

      1. DCBloom

        You nailed it there. I watch Brooks on PBS all the time, and it seems to me that he has just about had it with his party.

  14. Clancy_Pants

    “a kind, decent man who says stupid things because he is pretending to be something he is not.”

    Yeah, that or one arrogant, selfish, born-with-a-silver-spoon-up-his-butt, coiffed, A-#1 asshole.

  15. Estproph

    "All we need now is for the Ghost of David Broder to appear and say “While it is of course important to consider all sides of the question, Mitt Romney has truly screwed the pooch this time.”

    Tom Brokaw will say it for him, without the screwing the pooch part.

      1. tessiee

        Beware of what you wish for; he just might outsource his job to Rapey Eyes Ryan.
        In fact, he'd better learn to sleep with his eyes open, or Rapey Eyes Ryan might do it for him.

  16. FakaktaSouth

    “The final thing the comment suggests is that Romney knows nothing about ambition and motivation. The formula he sketches is this: People who are forced to make it on their own have drive.

    What do people from American Motors and Governorship wealthy families have? Oh RIGHT, an INHERITANCE. SHUT UP Mitt you dumb asshole.

  17. Blueb4sinrise

    We've secretly replaced David Brooks' regular column with one by Mark Shields. Let's see if anyone notices.

  18. kittensdontlie

    Krugman has opined with his Moochers Against Welfare NYT op-ed. Within this article:

    "Finally, Cornell University’s Suzanne Mettler points out that many beneficiaries of government programs seem confused about their own place in the system. She tells us that 44 percent of Social Security recipients, 43 percent of those receiving unemployment benefits, and 40 percent of those on Medicare say that they “have not used a government program.”

    1. actor212

      Well, now, in fairness, SSI and Medicare are things we pay out of our own pockets, so while it's all administered by the Feds, you can make the case that it's our own money

  19. SorosBot

    When even the man who first though VP Sarah Palin was a good idea thinks you've done something stupid, you've done something really, really stupid.

  20. Callyson

    Reaganesque language of common citizenship

    Huh? Would that have been when he went on about welfare queens and special interests?

    These "come on, GOP, let's be moderate and appeal to the mushy middle" types aren't even trying anymore…

  21. Callyson

    Having thoroughly chewed Romney up, Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.

    I wish I knew how to quit you!

  22. Beowoof

    How will Sean Hannity explain this mess. Secret, Kenyan, Muslim, Nazi, Commie, Fascist operatives have been protecting their candidate and overseeing one of the greatest conspiracies of all time. Time to revolt, with votes.

    1. valthemus

      Standard conservative "Our boy's in trouble!!" crisis responses include (A) ignore it if possible, (B) blame the media, (C) get a Romney operative on the air who will start every sentence with, "What's *really* important is…" just before launching into an off-topic anti-Obama rant.

  23. PsycWench

    “a kind, decent man who says stupid things because he is pretending to be something he is not.”
    Like, say, competent..

  24. anniegetyerfun

    “This comment suggests a few things. First, it suggests that he really doesn’t know much about the country he inhabits. Who are these freeloaders? Is it the Iraq war veteran who goes to the V.A.? Is it the student getting a loan to go to college? Is it the retiree on Social Security or Medicare?”

    A BLACK Iraq War vet? A NATIVE AMERICAN student getting a loan? A LATINA retiree on Medicare?

    See? It's all about context.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        I have it on a Post It on my mirror and recite this while brushing my teeth. Okay, it sounds funny under the Sonicare but…it starts my day.

  25. sudsmckenzie

    Brooks forgot at least one thing, those in the "47%" still haven't seen Mitts own taxes, you know, to compare and contrast.

  26. tessiee

    I'm not sure if I'm fascinated or repelled — or if it's somehow that I'm both — but I can't look away from that picture.

  27. rocktonsam

    on Romney's comments …

    Fox News- brilliant!
    Rush- gutsy!!
    Ann Coulter- truth teller!!!
    Dick Morris- 2 point bump in the polls

    they probably said that

  28. littlebigdaddy

    You know, I have faith in Mother Jones to understand dramatic structure. I think the clips they release later today will be A LOT worse.

  29. PsycWench

    Yeah, well, I do resist doing things for my kids that they can and should do for themselves. I do make them face consequences when those things don't get done. But I do understand that it's my job to understand that there are times when they can't do it and they need help.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I tell my crew, I expect the best. I am here to make sure you can give your best. You are here to work and advise me on hinderances to you doing your best.

      And, I can fire you. I have a excellent crew though. (Except for THAT one).

    2. pdiddycornchips

      My two kids are nearly out of the nest. One is a senior in high school and the other a sophomore in college. Both good kids, one more independent than the other but that's just a matter of degree. I think they'll do fine as they know the values that really matter. Family, self respect. Hard work has it's own rewards even if it's not measured in dollars and cents. I just wish they would quit mooching from my pot stash.

  30. Estproph

    If he's lost David Brooks, he doesn't have many supporters left. I doubt the David Duke/Fred Phelps vote will win him the presidency.

  31. skmind

    Careful on giving credit to Kristol! He only called Mitt stupid and arrogant like Obama was years ago. In fact, he douched his way into painting Obama as a bigger villain, and then concluded: "yeah, Romney was a fucking asshole but vote for him anyway"

  32. SpeedoFart

    You know what I hate? Thanks to those assholes at NPR, I read every stupid thing that David Brooks dribbles out in his nasally whine.

    I can't even give him a goddamn Muppet voice.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Oh, c'mon, E.J. Dionne is WAY whinier. Brooks has an OK voice. I enjoy listening to him admit to the shortcomings of the Republican Party on a weekly basis. It's my little dose of happy, except when he approves of GOP shenanigans and then I have to hate him a little bit more.

      1. SpeedoFart

        Oh, I've no love for EJ's voice, either. Not a huge fan, but at least I don't want to sucker punch him.

    2. AncienReggie

      I'm surprised every Friday that E.J. Dionne doesn't give in to his better nature and say, "All things considered, David, you're a dimwitted assclown and lucky just to be employed."

  33. Terry

    "People who are forced to make it on their own have drive. People who receive benefits have dependency. But, of course, no middle-class parent acts as if this is true. Middle-class parents don’t deprive their children of benefits so they can learn to struggle on their own.”

    The bizarre part is that Mitt thinks HE made it on his own. I guess he forgets the massive leg up his rich and politically influential (at least regionally) father gave him. Mitt (and Ann, as well) doesn't know the difference between being a broke young person who can call the family for help if worse comes to worst and being a broke young person who doesn't eat or doesn't have a place to live if worse comes to worst.

    It's become almost trite to say that Mitt is out of touch, but damn if that man isn't ever out of touch. His world, his universe, is so goddamn far from every day existence that he can't even imagine it. I suspect that this fact made his work at Bain easier for his conscience. The workers who lost their jobs because of his raiding their companies for every last cent of quick profit just needed to get some incentive…like he had. He was incapable of imagining anything else.

    This man cannot be our President.

    1. SorosBot

      He keeps saying "I didn't inherent much money", as if it was just about money given to him by his father. He had every opportunity spoon-fed to him, and completely fails to realize it and seems to think he really did make it on his own. He's not just privileged and entitled but completely clueless about it.

        1. HogeyeGrex

          Oh, y'know, only enough to pay for Harvard grad and live off the interest of for five or more years while comfortably starting a family. Not much.

          This seeping cockblister gives new meaning to "Born on third base and thinks he hit a triple."

  34. tiredalways

    Its so much fun when the conservatives start eating their own..Bill F*ng Kristol says 'May be Romney can step down and let 'Ryan-Rubio' ticket take over'..Its absolutely hilarious the way he still tries to say after all the complaining, Romney would be still better than Obama.

  35. BloviateMe

    So great. I have a giant fuzzy cock picture on my monitor at work.

    How the hell am I supposed to explain that away? Thanks a lot.

    1. TavariousChinaSmith

      If caught in situations like these at work, it's best just to burst into tears and cry, "I have a problem!" With luck, you'll be able to take two months off with pay and counselling. You're welcome.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Yeah, if any of your co-workers accuse you of something untoward, you can point out the "collar ring" and the two back knees and taunt them for having filthy minds.

    2. Doktor Zoom

      If your employer has a problem with adorable golden retriever puppies, then they need to see the rapist.

      I mean, a therapist, of course.

      1. BloviateMe

        Holy shit that IS a dog. I didn't even notice.

        I think I need to take some me time…see what's cooking with the fella in the mirror…you know, see what's going on in there…

  36. evoshandor

    He spouts this kind of shit about his fellow countrymen. Think of all the ways he could callously offend the rest of the world should he become president.

      1. James Michael Curley

        It’s a very bumpy road and the trial court is compelled to issue a response by 10/01. The interesting question will be their schedule on an injunction. Will they set a hearing schedule which will allow the issue to get back to the PA Supreme Court by 11/06? Will the trial court, at this point, issue an order which brings the case into the constitutional arena on the ‘poll tax’ possibility? Isn’t it a failure of ‘equal protection’ if some people can vote because they have a driver’s license and others can’t vote because they are blind, paralyzed, drunken sots or Amish and they have to go to extra lengths to procure an alternative ID?

  37. SayItWithWookies

    Cut Mitt some slack — he's not so clueless. He's doing to his campaign what Bain Capital did to the companies it invested in, which should serve as an example for what he intends to do to America in the unlikely event he gets elected. It's Mitt as his most honest.

    1. sati_demise

      no, this guy could win. I still remember the 2004 election. the GOP has a combo of fraud, voter suppression, ownership of voting machines to hack, & the Supreme Court. All sorts of ways they can win.

    1. Comrade Snowball

      Yes I was going to post the opening of his inauguration speech:
      "Are there no prisons?"
      "And the Union workhouses. Are they still in operation?"
      "The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?"

  38. TavariousChinaSmith

    Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.
    The "nice" thing to do would be to swallow.

  39. actor212

    We had been considering telling Kid Zoom that we would no longer foster a culture of dependency by paying for or driving him to his after-school tennis lessons

    You're a generous Commie bastard.

    I told my daughter, "toilet train or go buy your own diapers".

  40. sullivanst

    Having thoroughly chewed Romney up, Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.

    Keep sucking that Mitten.

  41. rickmaci

    The question is not whether Twitt Romoney loses, he will.

    The big question for the RepulicKons is how many of them he takes down with him.

    Make that Mittanic Romoney.

    1. proudgrampa

      I hope (wish) you are right. I'm afraid voters are just going to return the same old tired people to congress, the way they do every time.

  42. Nostrildamus

    Despite its stark nature, Brooks frames his criticism largely as Romney not managing his image well, and playing to the crowd rather than expressing his core beliefs. No, David. This is the real Mitt. Please look up the term "sociopath".

  43. Peckerwood_Pete

    You know you are a real ashole when other well known assholes (ie. Brooks, Kristol, et al) start shitting on you….

    On another note.. shouldn't all of the recepients of corporate welfare and subsidies be considered "moochers" too, by definition? Israel too….

  44. randcoolcatdaddy

    When you've lost David Brooks, you've lost the five Republicans who follow his insightful mouth vomit on NPR and public television.

  45. pdiddycornchips

    You know who I feel sorry for? That pooch. With forty-nine days left and the debates still to come, that poor dog is going to be screwed over and over again. Lucky for him, both Mittens and Ryan have very small dicks.

  46. sati_demise

    "Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.z'

    Word is, Brooks always swallows, and likes it.

  47. fawkedifiknow

    You know we have gone around the bend and are too far to turn back when the first thing out of the mouths of the noise machine is not a condemnation of the person who took the video, followed by a demand for a criminal investigation and, it goes without saying, an accusation that Obama himself personally ordered the release of the video.

    Even the twitter twat, Sarah Palin, has shut her yap, so far (as I know).

  48. Rotundo_

    It is funny to see the less frothing fascists pissing their pants at the prospect of having Mittens take the whole ticket down with them. But I am surprised that more people in the fascist chattering classes aren't cheering on his honest contempt of anyone not making big bucks. This is the defining moment of conservatism as it exists today. It is the most honest statement made by Mittens to date in the campaign. It sets up the class warfare that the right in America has waged, in a very harsh cold light for everyone to see. This is what you are voting for when you vote for a republican: Compassion and humanity free economically driven life. Serfdom for those who are not owners.

  49. a_pink_poodle

    This is awesome. I still think Newt Gingrich would have had some awesome gaffs himself too but coulda-woulda-shoulda and this works just fine.

  50. valthemus

    “a kind, decent man who says stupid things because he is pretending to be something he is not.”

    Mitt Romney is running for "Joe Biden"?

    (If so, he's guilty of some serious overkill.)

  51. decentcitizen

    If David Brooks is talking shit about a republican it is dead certain that those independent voters are doing a gut check. He's what passes for intellectual gravitas in the Beltway (granted it's a sliding scale), and if he thinks you screwed up, smarter people do too. I think the only way Romney can pull this out is to promise to give people they're money back-that he's looted from their pensions, that he rediverted their paychecks to Indonesia. Sheldon can make good on this. Bibi will make it happen.

    1. cousinitt

      Dammit, decentcitizen, don't use words like screwed and pull this out, mkay? What, you think this is funny business? American politics is about busting balls and taking names–missy. So, don't give me polite metaphors or similes. I want the full-throated meat of your assertions of Romney's backdoor deals. Listen, we all know oldsters take it from behind as it is, but you leave me limp to explain how you position from Sheldon to Bib. Please have another go at exploring the inner folds of your opening remarks.

  52. LibertyLover

    Having thoroughly chewed Romney up, Brooks is just too habitually “nice” to finally spit him out.

    I always suspected that Brooks swallowed.

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