BROS ALONG HOS  10:10 am September 17, 2012

Fox & Friends Embarrassed By Youth Even Douchier Than They Are

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Miss America, actually
Here, friends, have an idiot! How much of an idiot? He actually makes Gretchen Carlson’s forehead almost pucker at his foul bro-ness, and she sits within seven feet of Kilmeade’s eau de date rape for what seems like 250 hours a week. Experience the EXTREME! after the jump:

This has been your morning emetic.

[Uproxx]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 195 comments }

PsycWench September 17, 2012 at 10:12 am

Sadly (or happily) I am presiding over a test and lack earbuds, thus cannot listen to the clip. But I see douchiness radiating from the visual.

Terry September 17, 2012 at 10:35 am

Oddly enough, his collar isn't popped up.

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

Mom dressed him

Maman September 17, 2012 at 10:43 am

I heard him speak three words and turned it off. There might be a reason that he is unemployed.

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 10:45 am

I regret I did most of my teaching before teh yootoobs. Could have made proctoring finals fly by!

PsycWench September 17, 2012 at 10:49 am

A surprising amount of time is spent during finals Facebook chatting with other teachers. A lot of "OMG someone just started crying" "This girl is staring at the ceiling like the answer will magically appear". Tres mature.

James Michael Curley September 17, 2012 at 10:54 am

"I lost the answer key. Who the Fuck's going to grade these things?"

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Wow, that's pretty severe. I've only taught juniors through masters' students, so there was a little whining at times, but no crying. My first year teaching, when I was in grad school, I baked cookies for final of the first class I taught, which I proctored after taking three exams, doing a presentation and submitting a paper in the previous 3 days, on 2 hour's sleep. My students invited me to the bar after the exam. I had 4 drinks and my car drove me home, where I proceeded to sleep for 13 hours straight. Good times.Also, I learned never to give extra credit assignments. It only meant extra work for me.

BerkeleyBear September 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Yeah, nothing like gettting everything graded and ready to return only to realize you still have the extra credit essays to wade through.

Lascauxcaveman September 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

staring at the ceiling like the answer will magically appear

That actually worked pretty well for me a few times. Distract yourself, letting the mind go blank for a half minute. and then look down at the question again, and *bang* it comes to you. I was a solid-B student mostly, but I kicked ass on tests for some reason.

Barbara_ September 17, 2012 at 10:12 am

"I met him (Obama) in the third grade." Also known as this fellow's "senior year."

PsycWench September 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

His dad walked him to school because they were in the same grade.

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:42 am

Well, in fairness, they only let you repeat a grade twelve times…

Arkoday September 17, 2012 at 10:43 am

That explains why he had the biggest dick in grade three, (He was 17)

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:12 am

How was Gretchen Carlson a Miss America? Who'd she blow?

freakishlywrong September 17, 2012 at 10:17 am

All of 'em, Katie.

YasserArraFeck September 17, 2012 at 10:27 am

Miss Red America, maybe. Granted, it's a pretty low bar.

Boojum September 17, 2012 at 10:42 am

This was before the "no gay cosmetologists" rule in her native Dumbfuckistan.

Terry September 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

It appears to have been before her unfortunate use of false eyelashes reached the full blown addition phase.
http://www.missamerica.org/our-miss-americas/1980

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

She looked like Faith Ford, if Faith Ford had fallen into a vat of Ben & Jerry's

SnarkOff September 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

From the bio: "Gretchen graduated with honors from Stanford University in 1990 with a self-designed degree in Organizational Behavior."

BerkeleyBear September 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I.e. she studied how to get ahead without any sort of moral compass. Makes her success at Fox make complete sense.

horsedreamer_1 September 17, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Phillip Zimbardo Libel!!!!

clecinosu September 17, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Well, Roger Ailes, obviously. That's one for sure.

ManchuCandidate September 17, 2012 at 10:13 am

Finally, someone treating Faux Newz with the, um, respect and gravitas it deserves.

Wadisay September 17, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Haha, I bet after this no one yells, "Fuck it, we'll do it live!!!" at Fox News for a while.

bureaucrap September 17, 2012 at 10:13 am

Fox is just using douchey third parties to say what little it's too embarrassed to say itself.

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:14 am

I wonder, tho, if this video isn't some sly way for FOX to make people angry at young people, so they can get their viewers to discourage the youth vote by yelling at them about lawns and such? I mean, this guy is a total douche (nice move with the coffee cup, asshat!) that it wouldn't surprise me if he's a plant.

BaldarTFlagass September 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

Your move, James O'Keefe.

Terry September 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

You kind of expected him to yell out bababooie at some point, didn't you?

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:39 am
glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

Plant or vegetable? You decide!

James Michael Curley September 17, 2012 at 10:58 am

Poison Ivy.

Barbara_ September 17, 2012 at 10:14 am

"I can't see your face right now, this is so weird"
I watched the video and I saw her face and it was even weirder for me.

Boojum September 17, 2012 at 10:45 am

He totally thought he was getting laid.

EatsBabyDingos September 17, 2012 at 10:15 am

Gretchen should go back to working the cosmetics counter at Macy's.

elviouslyqueer September 17, 2012 at 10:32 am

Please. She'd be lucky to peddle cosmetics at the Dollar Tree.

Terry September 17, 2012 at 10:39 am

Mary Kay with a pink Caddie.

chicken_thief September 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

Hud Bannon libelz!!!!

La_Cieca September 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Well, to be fair, she currently keeps the cosmetics counter at Macy's in business. Her matte foundation alone accounts for over 17% of their gross sales.

Goonemeritus September 17, 2012 at 10:15 am

How is it possible that Bell Labs or some of our Nations more prestigious think tanks haven’t scooped this guy up?

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:16 am

He demanded an expense account.

Guppy September 17, 2012 at 10:43 am

Because we overtax our job creators, duh!

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 10:53 am

Bell Labs is a shadow of its former self, sadly. All that's left of AT&T is teh suk

James Michael Curley September 17, 2012 at 11:03 am

There is no one lucid and Lucent.

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Yeah. My grad school advisor was at Bell Labs for 30 years before going to academia. He watched from afar in the late 90s as the top people and the people in the labs left, leaving only middle management. Sad. Camelot never lasts…

Goonemeritus September 17, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I went to Stevens Tech, in the 70’s, you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting a grad student working at Bell Labs or a student that dreamed of working there.

James Michael Curley September 17, 2012 at 1:35 pm

It is sad. Living in NJ I have known quite a few people who worked for one of the many Bell Cos. in the state. I temped at a couple and did a few independent contracts. Although I did not understand much of it at the time, I remember when techs at Lucent were lamenting that AT&T would not adopt the framework that Europe was even though it was over 60 years since the last CO to Demarc line was laid with only one twisted pair.

RufusTFirefly September 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I see a bright future for him at the Heritage Foundation.

Limeylizzie September 17, 2012 at 10:15 am

This has to be a joke, right? No-one is that big of a clueless areshole!

weejee September 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

An undercover Bamzboy scammed Faux Newz? Gasp!!

Guppy September 17, 2012 at 10:43 am

U S A! U S A!

docterry6973 September 17, 2012 at 10:43 am

I, for one, might be.

Toomush_Infer September 17, 2012 at 10:15 am

Wait! Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! He must have passed through the usual thorough Faux vetting process, or someone hates Gretchen Carlson….

GeorgiaBurning September 17, 2012 at 10:33 am

Yes and yes

docterry6973 September 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

A high-water mark for American journalism. Apparently all you need to do to get a Fox interview is squeak 'Obama bad' to the associate producer.

Lucidamente1 September 17, 2012 at 10:15 am

He's unemployed. Can't imagine why.

Serolf_Divad September 17, 2012 at 10:35 am

Interviewer: So, Mr. Rice. Why exactly did you apply for a position, at Bergman, Mortgensen and Schmidt?

Matt Rice: Uhm… because I lost a basketball game to my friend.

Anyway, the guy's clearly punking Fox & Friends. I tip my hat to him for that.

rickmaci September 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm

"Are you being serious about this interview?"

Bwahahahahahahahaha.

Punked.

kingofmeh September 17, 2012 at 8:19 pm

why would you even ask that question? if you get a sense that your guest is pranking you, you politely thank them for their time and shut the interview down (and, an hour later off-camera, you force a producer to disembowel himself for letting that dip on the air). getting in an argument with him about whether or not he was pranking her just makes her look dumb and plays up (rather than minimizes) fox's original error in letting him on the air.

freakishlywrong September 17, 2012 at 10:15 am

Gross. I'm not watching that.

eggsacklywright September 17, 2012 at 10:16 am

"Here I am prime time and you fuckin' the rerun."

- – Scenes From the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills

SorosBot September 17, 2012 at 10:16 am

Somehow I suspect this dummy isn't being exactly honest about being a former Obama supporter.

PeaceWithHonor September 17, 2012 at 10:16 am

Can't understand why he's unemployed.

eggsacklywright September 17, 2012 at 10:18 am

At least we got to see retchin' Gretchen with The Uncomfy.

Maman September 17, 2012 at 10:46 am

Ugh. My least favorite high school nickname. Thanks

eggsacklywright September 17, 2012 at 11:04 am

Oops, sorry. I had no idea. I was so ignored I never even had a nickname.

Geminisunmars September 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

I'm so sorry, Sugarlips. Feel better now?

eggsacklywright September 17, 2012 at 11:46 am

Bless you.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 17, 2012 at 10:18 am

With interview skills like that I find it hard to believe this guy can't get a job.

MLHencken September 17, 2012 at 10:18 am

Best Fox clip EVAR!

RadioX September 17, 2012 at 11:26 am

Wassup! (does funny hand sign.)

Lucidamente1 September 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

I didn't know Mitt and Ann had a sixth son.

GeorgiaBurning September 17, 2012 at 10:36 am

Bristol Palin called, wants to hook up

starfanglednut September 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

The tent is stocked with wine coolers.

Terry September 17, 2012 at 10:40 am

Mitt and Ann's sons dress better and have better posture.

eggsacklywright September 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

And their penmanship! Stellar.

no_gravity September 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

No more stupid than anything else on Fox.

memzilla September 17, 2012 at 10:19 am

On the bright side, a slot for a junior producer just opened up at Faux News.

Chet Kincaid_ September 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

I'm not sure that "bright" is one of the job requirements.

Beach_Bubba_Tex September 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

Yup, you could hear them printing out their resume at 0:32 in the clip

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

I was kind of dissapointed that he didn't ask Gretchen for her digits.

MLHencken September 17, 2012 at 11:41 am

…or her measurements.

eggsacklywright September 17, 2012 at 11:48 am

I bet his pickup lines are smooth like the silk.

horsedreamer_1 September 17, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Orin Incandenza would have.

1stNewtontheMoon September 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

hahaha. That kid literally said he's supporting Mitt Romney because he lost a bet.

seppdecker September 17, 2012 at 10:20 am

Not ready for primetime? That's generous. They're not even ready for the inanities of morning talk. The Republicans make Al Roker look like Sir John Gielgud.

poorgradstudent September 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

Look upon ye works, FOX News, and despair.

PsycWench September 17, 2012 at 10:27 am

Truer words were never spoken.

SorosBot September 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

See how awful Carlson's hair looks? That's what happens when you banish the gay men from the styling room.

Terry September 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

Or when a heavily closeted gay man works out his aggression and frustration.

fuflans September 17, 2012 at 11:13 am

girlfriend seriously needs some lowlights.

elviouslyqueer September 17, 2012 at 11:32 am

And makeup that doesn't like it was applied with a trowel.

Texan_Bulldog September 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

Poor Gretchen…she tried SO HARD to be a real journalist (for the first time ever) & this kid messed it up for her.

Apparently when guests are not spewing the RNC talking points, blond bobble head does not know how to react.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

This guy is actually pretty intelligent, for a Romney supporter.

OneYieldRegular September 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

She just about took that kid's head off for confusing "Miss America" with that tawdry, low-class, third-rate "Miss USA" pageant.

BaldarTFlagass September 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

I guess all his polo shirts with popped collars were at the cleaners.

johnnyzhivago September 17, 2012 at 10:23 am

What an outrage to turn a segment of scholarly "Fox and Friends" into a joke!

sbj1964 September 17, 2012 at 10:24 am

The ABC's at Fox News( Angry,Blond,Cunts)Ann Coulter is their Queen.

Serolf_Divad September 17, 2012 at 10:25 am

LOL, this reminds me of the millions spent by right-wing interests to uncover examples of massive voter fraud, that turn up empty handed.

Here Fox has hunted endlessly for examples of young Obama supporters who are now disillusioned and will be voting for Romney and this is the best they can find? Hah!

Chet Kincaid_ September 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

They should have spelunked into the libertarian grotto at one the state universities and grabbed one of the pockmarked and pale Rand-heads scurrying away from the light.

Serolf_Divad September 17, 2012 at 11:24 am

Except that their premise seems to be that young people who voted for Obama in 2008 won't do so again in 2012. The Randroids were no doubt too busy spanking to centerfolds of the Ron Paul blimp in 2008 to vote for anybody.

HistoriCat September 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm

They're all too butt-hurt about their failed coup at the convention this year. They were all prepared to do battle through parliamentary procedure and then the rules were changed on them!! Ron Paul!!11!1!

freakishlywrong September 17, 2012 at 10:28 am

Get thee to Late Night Shotz. Nozzle.

SoBeach September 17, 2012 at 10:28 am

wtf?

BadKitty904 September 17, 2012 at 10:28 am

I'm finding it more and more difficult to distinguish between Fox News and The Onion…

Terry September 17, 2012 at 10:42 am

Articles in The Onion are much more realistic.

chicken_thief September 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

The labels on states/countries on The Onion are accurate.

Chet Kincaid_ September 17, 2012 at 11:15 am

But carnal congress with Brooke Alvarez would be more fun than servicing frowny Gretchen.
http://www.pleasantmorningbuzz.com/blog/101320111

Fukui-sanYesOta September 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm

When Sean Hannity finishes an interview with the line "I'm just some fucking guy" then the transformation will be complete.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm

For Sean Hannity to be with the Onion, wouldn't he have to give up his gig as Ed Anger over at the Weekly World News?

valgal2342 September 17, 2012 at 10:29 am

He's voting for Romney/Ryan because he lost a basketball game? Priceless.

BaldarTFlagass September 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

I'd have figured it was a game of beer pong he lost.

SorosBot September 17, 2012 at 10:45 am

Possibly just a few minutes ago; the guy seemed drunk.

valgal2342 September 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I actually think he punk'd her.

prommie September 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

Smells pretty Tucker Max-ey. Tucker Max and Chelsea Handler, glorifying selfishness and cruelty, and in that, they fucking exemplify the true essential character of American culture.

prommie September 17, 2012 at 10:34 am

You know, the old get shitfaced fuck someone random ditch'em as soon as your done and then go make fun of them to your friends. That kinda Tucker Max-Chelsea Handler lovely fucking character.

BaldarTFlagass September 17, 2012 at 10:35 am

In my day, it was "wow, I got fucked up and wrecked my car." With the kids these days, it's "wow, I got fucked up and wrecked your car."

Boojum September 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

Um, I got fucked up and wrecked somebody's car. Long story, but I spent one summer washing windows to pay him for the damage.

Edit: I was not driving; I was mixing gin and tonics in the passenger seat.

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

Never mix, never worry!

prommie September 17, 2012 at 11:39 am

And here I am all angsting over the tawdry empty selfishness and cruelty of our society and it turns out it was a hoax.

Still, so fucking what, fucking Tucker Max and Chelsea Handler and the fucking narcissistic values they embody and which seem to fucking tar their generation, this all still is.

kingofmeh September 17, 2012 at 8:25 pm

hasn't every generation been labeled as narcissistic? slacker gen-xers in the 90s; materialist yuppies in the 80's; the me generation in the 70's.

i detest tucker max and chelsea handler (and daniel tosh) for the embrace of the notion that cruelty without wit equals humor, but i don't buy your labeling of a generation based on a few two-bit basic cable stars.

ttommyunger September 17, 2012 at 10:31 am

Nothing to see here, seems like the usual Fox clarity and professionalism at play; in fact, Doocey and the other guy who isn't Doocey might be a little concerned about their jobs. This kid is definitely Fox material.

UnholyMoses September 17, 2012 at 10:32 am

Clips like this are why I haven't asked IT to install the latest version of Flash on my computer.

My blood pressure has dropped, like, 20 points.

fuflans September 17, 2012 at 10:33 am

he's high right?

or is he simply r*tar*ed

actor212 September 17, 2012 at 10:34 am

Needs moar Bababooey

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 11:04 am

Fuh-fuh-fooey?

hagajim September 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Muh-muh-muh-Monkey?

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Haven't heard that one, but I haven't listened to Howard in about a decade…

Chow Yun Flat September 17, 2012 at 10:36 am

Can't imagine why your parents kicked you out, bro.

elviouslyqueer September 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

Gretchen, you keep using that word "serious," but it's obvious you have no idea what it means.

Estproph September 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

If FNC would occasionally actually talk to people before they shoved them in front of a camera, maybe this wouldn't happen. Perhaps we should all call them up and claim to be Romney supporters, and repeatedly punk them.

GeorgiaBurning September 17, 2012 at 10:37 am

Does Paul Ryan need another intern?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

It's like a young Tucker Carlson!

oenspiek September 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

Hello, Central Casting? We need a C+ douchebag for spot work, stat!

Kid_Charlemagne September 17, 2012 at 10:39 am

U mad bro? No, seriously, are you mad?

Chow Yun Flat September 17, 2012 at 10:40 am

She must order Botox in 55 gallon drums for that level of facial immobility.

e_z September 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

However, she is THE master of the pouty scowl.

Sue4466 September 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

Am I the only one who thought that was a fucking fantastic punking?

Incitefully_Joe September 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

Not at all, that seems to have been the rapid consensus except on this comedy blog. It helps that someone unearthed some standup routine of his from a little while back, guy is apparently an aspiring comedian, and something about a perhaps lulzworthy graduation speech?

Context and framing is everything, ppl.

Sue4466 September 17, 2012 at 11:35 am

Good, 'cause I'm thinking he's a hero, not a zero.

One_Man_Band September 17, 2012 at 11:54 am

That was my reaction, too. I am disappointed that everybody at Wonkette is apparently clucking disapprovingly while looking over their reading glasses.

La_Cieca September 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

The thing is, ordinarily even this level of guest would do some kind of pre-interview, where he's asked a few of what will be the on-air questions. If the guest seems to be a decent talker, the pre-interviewer will stop him after a few sentences and say, "that's great, let's keep it fresh for the live show." Or else if the guest is really inarticulate, he'll get some coaching on how to put forward his first couple of answers.

So it seems like this level of douchiness is a deliberate act: the kid behaved reasonably during the pre-interview and then punked on-air. It's pretty ballsy, actually.

weejee September 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

OT

The National Zoo announced the arrival of another Butterstick. Will our Editrx swoon, as did our founder Ana Marie Cox, or is LA too far from DC?

ChernobylSoup September 17, 2012 at 10:47 am

Butterstick II, Cox's Revenge.

Chet Kincaid_ September 17, 2012 at 11:27 am

I wasn't around then. I was under the impression "butterstick" was some kind of coital technique of that minx who was giving buttsex to all the Congressmen. Is that not correct? And why were these "Buttsex Diaries" never made into a major motion picture starring Anne Hathaway and Amy Adams?

prommie September 17, 2012 at 11:40 am

The book didn't even sell.

horsedreamer_1 September 17, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Anne Hathaway as Jessica Cutler sells the latter a bit too well. I could see Julia Stiles in the role. Adams as Cox works, though; the Gingerosity, & all.

FatGirlPartyHat September 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I Can't Believe It's Not Butterstick

larrykat September 17, 2012 at 10:43 am

Is this fucker drunk?

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 11:06 am

What do you think he has in that foam cup? Duh.

carlgt1 September 17, 2012 at 10:44 am

he represents the American exceptionalism Repugs are always telling us about!

second_gen September 17, 2012 at 10:46 am

"Unemployed and just moved out of his parents home"? Translated as: "He's such a big douche, his parents even kicked him out, even though he didn't have a job."

Chet Kincaid_ September 17, 2012 at 10:47 am

Alright, which one of you fuckers is Max Rice?!

weejee September 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

ftw

DerrickWildcat September 17, 2012 at 10:51 am

This is what you get when you book people from Craig's List.

LibrarianX September 17, 2012 at 10:54 am

Wait – Fox is serious about NEWS? Oh go on! Gretchen – you HILARIOUS!!

Wadisay September 17, 2012 at 10:54 am

This guy's defection to Romney increased the average IQ of both camps.

SheriffRoscoe September 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

HA HA HA!

LibrarianX September 17, 2012 at 10:55 am

Fox News: needs more SERIOUS interviews.

Chet Kincaid_ September 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

If he was as much of a "Bro" as he was pretending to be, he wouldn't have known that Gretchen had been a Miss America, since "Bros" are not aware of anything that happened more than 6 months ago ("history").

Geminisunmars September 17, 2012 at 11:28 am

To be fair, he enjoyed googling her.

Guppy September 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

This is my job-hunting competition?

LiberalMermaid September 17, 2012 at 10:58 am

Isn't it a little early to be wasted?

BaldarTFlagass September 17, 2012 at 10:59 am

Let me guess – English Illiterature major.

glasspusher September 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

ffredpalakon September 17, 2012 at 11:08 am

"He's a young voter and he's voting for Obama because he lost a basketball game. I'm sure we can find a way to make this into an ad that's not racially charged at all, white men around the country forced to vote for Obama because they lost a basketball game. First they are forced to vote for Obama, then they are indoctrinated by the work of Terry McMillan, and finally they are forced to give up their sisters and mothers, all because of lost basketball games. Oh…he's voting for us? Well, then maybe we can use this in some kind of completely futile urban outreach thing."

Beowoof September 17, 2012 at 11:09 am

Yo man that college education didn't take.

joobajooba September 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

He never said he graduated, just that he "went to college for a while."

DahBoner September 17, 2012 at 11:14 am

Boomerang Generation

What?

They're not good enough to play with American toys???

CRIKEY!

chicken_thief September 17, 2012 at 11:18 am

I can't, nor do I want to listen to that shit, but I think Gretchen needs some Charlie Gibson/Sarah Palin glasses. Then she would look totally serious.

DahBoner September 17, 2012 at 11:21 am

"Smart people will never be on our side"–Little Ricky Santorum

fredbell September 17, 2012 at 11:24 am

He's the next "Joe the Plumber"….

Maybe Romney will mention him during the debates…"Hey, to that guy out there who was on Fuck Snooze complaining that he lost a basketball game — I'll call him 'Joe the Douche' — I'm talking to you. I will get you a job."

LibrarianX September 17, 2012 at 11:26 am
Shypixel September 17, 2012 at 11:33 am

You cannot make me watch Gretchen Carlson. Maybe if she was interviewing Jessica Alba, who was professing her long held and deeply felt love for me. Maybe…

DCBloom September 17, 2012 at 11:54 am

In their defense, that was the only Obama supporter they could find that wants to switch allegiance.

An_Outhouse September 17, 2012 at 11:57 am

Faux and Fiends is prime time? I thought that was 8-10p.m. or 9-11 p.m. or whatever.

charliearglist September 17, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I'm pretty sure he's putting her on…..I really hope so, anyway.

maatkare September 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Wow. I really can't believe they didn't vet that guy better. I'm sure the Romney campaign was thrilled to see this being the example of new converts. I wonder how many seconds into that fiasco was Gretchen's eardrum nearly blown out by a producer with brains telling her to give McDouchey the hook.

hagajim September 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Don't know why this kid wouldn't vote for the blah….after all, he seems like a nice enough wigger to me….bro! Totally! What?

katorigasuki September 17, 2012 at 12:27 pm

i'm shocked this guy doesn't have a job.

imissopus September 17, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Trolled!

zippy_w_pinhead September 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Joe the douchebag…

Callyson September 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Paul Ryan better watch his back…

zippy_w_pinhead September 17, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Some absolutely fascinating updates to this story from rawstory… http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/09/17/fox-news-ho

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm

You all can make fun of this young man all you want, but I think we have found the next Governor of Alaska.

rickmaci September 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Asshat blew it big time; could have had a regular gig as the FauxNooz genwingtard commentator. Now he is still living at home and fapping to the TV picture when Gretchen KKKarlson is on.

1stNewtontheMoon September 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm

This guy is actually fucking awesome. He was 16 when Obama was elected.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/09/17/fox-news-ho

mosaickmind September 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Looks like he did this on a bet. Even though he acted like he was high, he had to act Republicanny (hah! I made up that word!) to convince them to put him on the air. I'm sure his homeys are laughing their asses off.

swordfis September 17, 2012 at 2:35 pm

He's either way stoned or is laughing at Fox

ph7 September 17, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Back story is just as funny:

A friend of a friend, Rice said, who's involved in the tea-party movement, reached out via text message to a wide variety of acquaintances for volunteers. "This came into my lap," said Rice, who calls Fox & Friends a "sham," and so he decided to "just ride with it."

A Fox producer provided Rice with a general direction for the interview via e-mail: "Main focus, as we discussed, is — you voted for obama based on the promises of hope and change, that he'd fix the economy … but now you can't find a job, and that promise hasn't been kept." But Rice said the network never bothered to verify his information. "I haven't graduated college," said Rice, who claims to be a student at Columbia College in Chicago. "I'm 20 years old — I couldn't vote [in 2008] because I was 16."

"They blindly casted me like you would cast an actor on a TV show, but took no references," he said. "They could have Googled me. They were so eager, they didn't care." But Rice insisted he told the truth to Fox: He plans to vote for Mitt Romney because he lost a basketball bet, although he fully expects Romney to lose. "I am upset with Obama in some ways," he said, "but I have faith in his second term."

And, for the record, his uncomfortable appearance this morning was not aided by substance abuse. "Coffee was the only drug I was on," said Rice. "I'm definitely pro-weed and pro-alcohol; I just was not drunk. Unfortunately."

HelmutNewton September 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Fox News! We pander to the Idiocracy, you…..uhm, what was I saying, bro?

Nostrildamus September 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Levi Johnson has met his match !!!

PsycWench September 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Nothing like a student who is unhappy with his or her grade and offers to write you a paper. Oh wow, a(nother) paper for me to read and grade, just what I always wanted, thank you so much. YOU ARE NOT DOING ME A FAVOR.

BerkeleyBear September 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I'm with you – and I, for one, have no scruples about saying "It won't help" in response.

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