she can see it from 1990

Horrible Dragon Lady Liz Cheney Thinks Czechoslovakia Is Still A Thing

oh dear god

Before repeatedly using his deal with Satan to cheat death, former Vice President and It’s A Wonderful Life villain Dick Cheney brought spawn into the world and it immediately began saying horrible things that are false and stupid.

Today, Liz Cheney appeared on ABC’s This Week to complain about President Obama not doing enough on national security and foreign policy, because apparently she’s unaware of that whole Osama-bin-Laden-totally-got-himself-shot-in-the-face-on-Obama’s-command thing. In doing so, she also revealed that she herself has no idea what the hell she’s talking about and also hasn’t played Risk in the last 20 years. Cheney claimed that Obama has “abandoned some of our key allies like Israel, Poland and Czechoslovakia.”

Being a complete moron is apparently Cheney’s forte. Back in July, she actually said that wolf murderer and newspaper expert Sarah Palin is “more qualified than Obama and Biden combined” to run the country. Sarah Palin isn’t qualified to run a dishwasher, let alone the country. Good one, Liz!

While Obama is out improving our relationships with Czechoslovakia, he should also work on improving relations with some of these nations, which he has let slide:

Prussia
The Soviet Union
French Indo-China
Atlantis
Narnia
The Banana Republic
Hyrule
Mordor
Get on that, Barry. The election is coming up.

[Media Matters]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • bumfug

    The Emperor of Austria-Hungary is outraged at being left out. Beware his wrath, Liz Cheney!

    • a_pink_poodle

      Oh choke on a Bosnian assassin, Austro-Hungary!

  • memzilla

    Obama also abandoned Ur, Phyrigia, Carthage, and Peloponnesos.

    SOSHALUST MUSLIN !!!!11!!!!!

    • Charlie_Foxtrot

      You are so behind the times, which I guess makes you one of those post-modern liberal God-haters.

      Ur, Phyrigia, Carthage, and Peloponnesos were all long gone before the earth was created 6k years go.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      The whole fucking continent of Pangea is starting to riot and Obama just sits there, eating grapes and smoking things. Quick, Liz, to the barricades!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much

    • LibertyLover

      I'm going to have nightmares.

    • Kidneys4Sale

      +3 whore diamonds for raising such an ancient corpse. Bravo.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Memes (and Cheney) never die

  • WhatTheHeck

    Once Barry turned his back on Atlantis, they went underwater like a foreclosed home.

    If only Barry had stood up to Poseidon.

    Coward.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Paul Ryan has pointed out, repeatedly, how Obama promised to save Atlantis when he was a candidate for President, but then it shut down anyway.

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        And he let the children of Biafra starve.

        • anniegetyerfun

          Obama is truly the racist. If he wasn't so racist, why would he insist on being black all the time?

          • Geminisunmars

            Only half the time.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Plastic Surgery Disasters are no laughing matter!

          Though, the album cover makes me giggle.

        • pepperpat

          He let Jello Biafra's kids starve? What a dick.

      • miss_grundy

        He also stole Zeus' lightening bolt? By the way, which Zeus do you prefer, Liam Neeson or Sean Bean????

        • WIDTAP

          Although both are great, we always have the concern that Bean's Zeus wiil be killed off in the second act. So the choices are really Liam Neeson's Zeus or Anthony Hopkin's Odin. (In which case, Hopkins, obviously.)

    • PsycWench

      Look what happened to Mesopotamia. Or however you spell it.

      • glasspusher

        Irrigation without proper drainage…the undoing of the Mesopotemkin.

  • glasspusher

    I call Ottoman Empire!

    • Doktor Zoom

      As noted foreign affairs expert Dick Van Dyke noted, you do NOT want to tangle with the Ottomans.

      • Geminisunmars

        You are an old, aren't you?

      • Toomush_Infer

        Sure, he already had his own bed, next to Laura's….

      • finallyhappy

        I remember that!

      • BarackMyWorld

        That was his first foreign trip.

    • mavenmaven

      Palin didn't do too well with Turkey, either.

    • BarackMyWorld

      "Full of furniture."
      -Eddie Izzard

      • glasspusher

        Awesome.

    • PennyDreadful

      I hear it's a nice place to put your feet up.

  • Barbara_

    The only reason Dick Cheney is still alive is because hell doesn't want anything to do with him.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Which is a shame, as Dick was holding out for an ambassadorship.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      "Hell will greet me as a liberator."

    • Biff

      When he finally does expire, Liz will run for his old seat and get all the sympathy votes necessary to prevail. Then she, too, can bilk the USA out of a heart.

      • Negropolis

        Please, when was the last time Cheney held an actual elected office besides riding a ticket? I think he realized long ago the only way he was getting back into politics was holding someone's meal ticket. It's going to be another generation before the Cheney name isn't toxic, even with mainstream Republicans.

        • Biff

          We're talking Wyoming here. Of course they'd support the evil spawn of someone who lived in their state one time before most of them were born, because why not?

          • Zepster

            He's alive because hell I full.

  • smokingood

    What about that "Anglo-Saxon" one?

  • MaxNeanderthal

    No mention of the Empire of the Great Khan- shome mishtake, shurely?

    • WIDTAP

      No mistake, and don't call me Shurely.

  • Meathamper

    Don't forget about the Kingdom of Phaic Tăn, the Republic of Molvanîa and the Democratic Free People’s United Republic of San Sombrèro.

    • memzilla

      Not to mention Freedonia, Moronica, and The Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

      • PsycWench

        Hogwarts?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Yeah, President Obama's doing a terrible job with Czechoslovakia. He also took his eye off that Saddam Hussein guy who perpetrated 9/11. Thankfully Dubya was able to step in and keep us safe after that, but it shows the inherent weakness in the Democratic style of foreign relations.

    • sewollef

      And here was I thinking, "foreign relations" was having some rumpy-pumpy with a lady from another land. Where the only thing you understand is the universal phrase, "Oh god…oh god….Oh GOD, YES….YES!!!!"

      This is a different topic isn't it?

  • DrunkIrishman

    Looks photoshopped.

    • Callyson

      Yeah–Liz Cheney's never looked so good.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Czech out those pixels.

    • billy_reuben

      …but it isn't.

  • MinAgain

    "God, I miss the Cold War!"

  • AlterNewt

    And look what's going on with the Assyrians.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Is this her Parthian shot?

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

        Kudos.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Looks like the GOPers just found their new Queen of Mean and Stupid.

    • miss_grundy

      Well, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree….

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    to be fair, a cheney would certainly work well with mordor.

    • MinAgain

      No doubt Cheney could simply walk into Mordor.

      • HogeyeGrex

        And be greeted as a liberator.

      • viennawoods13

        Sauron DOES need a new Mouth.

    • Beowoof

      He is starting to transform into Gollum so there is that going for him.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Gormanghast has suffered long enough from the lack of proper attention by the Obama administration…it's been over a thousand years now…

    • Chichikovovich

      Groan.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Tightass…

        • finallyhappy

          Both of you- awesome

          • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

            we are the geekiest sarcastic bunch on earth i think.

          • Toomush_Infer

            Yes, yes we are….

    • emmelemm

      Wow… there's something I hadn't thought about in a long time.

  • coolhandnuke

    Czech mate Miss Cheney.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    Sarah Palin isn’t qualified to run a dishwasher

    7000 whore diamonds.

    • kittensdontlie

      Palin/Cheney 2016—"that's the ticket!"

    • kittensdontlie

      That moose-hating snowFlake isn't qualified to be a dishwasher!

  • MosesInvests

    Freedonia libel!

    • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader
    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Margaret Dummond was weirdly hot.
      Does this make me a bad person or just really high?

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Are you offering a mustache ride?

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Because seriously, that mustache quiver with a cigar, how could anyone refuse?

  • Callyson

    And our relationship with Rhythm Nation has declined, also, too.

    • anniegetyerfun

      But we're all part of it!

    • Doktor Zoom

      It's been in trouble since 1814 anyway

    • Meathamper

      Don't forget about the city-state of Funkytown.

      • Fare la Volpe

        With its delightful brick….houses.

      • Doktor Zoom

        When I was in high school, we moved to Funkytown. They have surprisingly good schools.

    • shelwood46

      Naw, man, Obama has that under Control.

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      The subject of tonight's lecture is rhythm, the beat….

  • Hera Sent Me

    Obamanations 2009 to date:

    2009: Threw Biafra under the bus.

    2010: Cast Katanga to the wolves.

    2011: Wouldn't give the time of day to Ciskei.

    2012: Killed all the bees in Deseret.

  • Doktor Zoom

    He has also sold out our friends in Freedonia, land of the brave and free.

    EDIT: Damn it, ONE lousy minute late. You win this time, Moses Invests….

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    But Tibet is still a thing, right? Or did everyone just get new bumper stickers?

    • Fare la Volpe

      I think they've all been replaced by FREE KALE.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I find this woman as relevant as that big boobied McCain girl.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Meghan McCanns libel!

      • bobbert

        Both of them (ISWYDT)!!

    • Fare la Volpe

      That is a bold-faced lie!

      Cindy McCain has tiny tits.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Dude, ewww.

    • zumpie

      And at least Meghan's sorta cute and just a somewhat clueless, sheltered princess.(and Barry DID beat her Daddykins head on). Liz Cheney's just a fucking stupid bitch.

  • rocktonsam

    is that the country that is as easy to get in and out of, just like Wisconsin?

    • DahBoner

      Wisconsin– The Official La-z-boy State

      • Negropolis

        Michigan libel! La-Z-Boy is based in Monroe in Southeast Michigan. :D

  • writemeblue

    she totally forgot Fillory. Lev Grossman would be sad.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Leela:

    "In doing so, she also revealed that she herself has no idea what the hell she’s talking about and also hasn’t played Risk in the last 20 years."

    That's some funny shit right there!

    [Maybe she plays the "Star Wars" version.]

    • zumpie

      Tatoine and Hoth libel!!!

  • steamynachos

    To be fair, Czechoslovakia is a lot more fun to say than "Czech Republic".

    • zumpie

      Or even better, Bohemia, as my Great Granny (even then) anachronistically called

      • Veritas78

        That was no anachronism—that was my Grandma, too! (She took pains to remind us that we definitely weren't Slovakian, but that the Moravians were okay — "good at business" was her phrase. Dunno what that was all about.)

        • zumpie

          Hey, if your Grandma also insisted you were direct descendents of the Bohemian Crown (yes, my Granny really was fully convinced of this), then maybe we're cousins!

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            Bring the Kolache and we'll have a party.

          • HogeyeGrex

            A scandal in Bohemia?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Sigh. Back in the day, it were an old GF's "safe word."

      Good times, good times.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Czech!… Uhh!… Slo!… Vak!… Eee!… Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

        • HogeyeGrex

          You're catching on.

    • PsycWench

      It took a while for some of us to learn how to say it so we would like to put that knowledge to use.

  • Tundra Grifter

    She will be receiving a stern protest from the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

    • Geminisunmars

      I'm roaring over that one.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Thank you. One thing I've learned from all those Wonkette party photos (at least the ones I could actually make out). I'm right in the demographic.

  • arihaya

    Recent violence in Egypt and Libya is prove that Obama is abandoning our ally the Ptolemaic Empire !!

  • Geminisunmars

    Texas wants to secede. That's Obama's fault too, right?

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      That alone could get him re-elected in a landslide.

    • catx2012

      That's why Rick Perry has been saying "let my people go y'all"

    • bikerlaureate

      Everything is Obama's fault.

      Really, this is much easier than trying to remember specific causes for things.

      • Geminisunmars

        Truly. Obama ruint it. That covers it all.

    • oenspiek

      Some of us will blame him if Texas doesn't secede.

      • Geminisunmars

        Either way, he's the one at fault.

  • SexySmurf

    Hey Liz, you better Czech yourself before you wreck yourself.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      You beat me to it, you sexy smurf bastard!

    • Negropolis

      **SexySmurf takes off sungalsses in the styl of David Caruso**

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

  • Calapine

    US and Mordor….the Other special relationship!

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Too modern, you're forgetting Angband…

      • Calapine

        of course. Who could forget Kissing and Melkor shaking hands…

        • OurDailyBread

          I never knew that Kissinger and Nixon shaking hands was an important historical event; I stand corrected.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        That crazy hippie girl with the fake wolf ruined that empire.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Glad to see ABC getting their A game on in the run up to the election.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Personally, I am disturbed by Obama's policy on dealings with Pangaea.

    • Crank_Tango

      too soon!

    • zumpie

      At a minimum he could acknowledge Gondwanaland and Laurentia, sheesh!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      But I though he was all about the one world government.

      • Angry_Marmot

        I see what you diid there.

    • Negropolis

      Had he taken a harder line, it wouldn't have split.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Czig Czigitty Czech yourself before you wreck yourself!

  • An_Outhouse

    ceylon's tea is not to be overlooked.

  • Crank_Tango

    What I want to know, is when is Barry gonna stop apologizing to Lochtenation and start the fucking bombing?

  • Woodshedding

    I was going to say Xanadu but then realized they're probably Muslins, right?

    • sewollef

      Nope, them would be Zoroastrians, or Ypsilantians or some other people at the arse end of the alphabet.

      • Negropolis

        Ypsilantians are weird, indeed. That town is like if you took Ann Arbor, smashed it into inner-city Detroit, and then condensed it into a small city.

  • sbj1964

    Obama has also pissed off the Romulan High command.And the Klingon Empire we will destroy earth!

  • mavenmaven

    Yugoslavia is also pissed at us.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Orcs for Cheney!

    • mbobier

      Uruk-hai everywhere find that grossly offensive.

    • PennyDreadful

      Redundant.

  • no_gravity

    Yortuk and Georg Festrunk wouldn't even hit that.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Uniformed, fat, and a Cheney is no way to go through life, child.

    • Geminisunmars

      Is it a Brownie or SS uniform, or something else?

  • catx2012

    Well it is okay that she didn't mention the Klingons or Romulans because we haven't run into them yet. Whew!

  • zumpie

    Anvilania and Sealand are both demanding some recognition!

  • Toomush_Infer

    I'm sure his handlers have told him time and time again, you can't slight the Hittites over the Sumerians, but…..

    • Dudleydidwrong

      When Gilgamesh gets pissed, we better be careful. I hear he's trying to make a nuclear weapon in Uruk in a secret lab under some ziggurat.

      Liz must read the Cuneiform Daily News.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        We're gonna need a bigger boat.

    • AznMom420

      Obama promised to reduce our commitment to war with the Parthians and now he wants a surge in the production of chariot spokes and horse oats????

  • dcjdjay

    Idiot daughter Liz was universally considered an ignorant cretinous cunt by those who worked at the State Department. They couldn't wait until she left for a career in spewing BS on Fox News.

  • BlueStateLibel

    And what's Obama going to do about that Archduke being assassinated? Or the growing power of the Ottoman Empire?

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    I had to google Hyrule. Looks like a nice place.

    • Geminisunmars

      In your fantasies!

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Where everybody knows your name, and you always get paid for cutting the grass.

  • Arkoday

    Meh. She just drummed up a shitload of Slovak-Amercian votes for the good guys.

  • Mondo_Cane

    sez the flying monkey from Oz –

  • Fare la Volpe

    Why isn't Obama protecting us from attacks by Cloudcuckooland?

    • LibrarianX

      He is also ignoring the imminent threat that the moon poses to the earth.

  • BartStarrland

    OT: Fun fact. The only two countries whose official name starts with "The" are "The Gambia" and "The Bahamas". That is all.

    • Boojum

      I know which one I'm going to.

    • bobbert

      What, not THE Ohio State?

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Not this year.

  • sbj1964

    Has the entire Republican party gone completely Bat-shit crazy?After a year of debates with that brain trust of GOP super stars who proved Sarah Palin is not the weakest link.No wonder America is in such trouble,these idiots are running half the Big top.Clowns.I hate Clowns.

    • Isyaignert

      Anyone in my life who votes for Rmoney/Rayn is OFF my Christmas card list. Fidiots!

  • docterry6973

    And what about Moldova? Oh, wait…

    • horsedreamer_1

      Transdniester is a hotspot.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I don’t care what name she calles it, Czech women are haute

    • Negropolis

      They are quite tall, aren't they?

  • chascates

    If a V-chip will block violence from teevee screens would a Liz-chip fade her out as well?

  • MonkeyMotion

    Liz — In the words of your much beloved ol' dad: "Go fuck yourself"

  • insidebeltway

    She's just proving Santorium's point about not being smart.

  • Mondo_Cane

    but we are still at war with Oceania, right? or is it Eurasia? –

    • AncienReggie

      FTW.

    • Negropolis

      If China keeps it up, it will have always been Eastasia.

  • mcrummett

    I hope he gets on that Atlantis thing soon. We're going on vacation soon.

  • oenspiek

    Troy wouldn't have fallen if Obama hadn't been asleep at the switch!

    • miss_grundy

      He probably gave Odysseus the plans to build that horse……

      • anniegetyerfun

        And THEN told him that he didn't build it.

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Ouch! good one

      • Negropolis

        Nah, Romney did.

  • SwanSwanH

    U.S. out of Oakland!

  • ttommyunger

    She is overlooking her ancestral States of Denial, Arousal, Anxiety and Hard-Down Stupid.

  • cheetojeebus

    What ever happened to her brother? The one they made that movie about. Naughty little tyke with those Rottweilers? I think the movie was called "The Omen"?

  • gullywompr

    You know who else is no longer a thing? Anybody named Cheney.

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Are we still at war with Oceania?

  • ThankYouJeebus

    And when will he do something about that horrible Baron Harkkonen?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Poor Chris Christie.

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

        "I'M ALIVE?" (reaches for donut.)

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      I dunno. 'Ol blue Eyed Ryan seems to be working his own angle.

  • Veritas78

    Cheney's not dead yet? Damn, I really gotta take a piss.

  • mbobier

    On the plus side of the GOP equation, Rick Santorum's relationship with the Holy Roman Empire is excellent!

  • mbobier

    Ms. Cheney then led the cast and crew of This Week in a rousing chorus of "Hail, Freedonia."

  • BerkeleyBear

    And even though thousands of Foreign Service Officers have drawn up plans to address its issues, the sovereign state of Erewhon seems constantly stuck in as casebook state of dysfunction.

  • BerkeleyBear

    And he's done absolutely nothing for Dothraki relations. Although in fairness, after her dad offered her to Khal Drogo there really was nothing Obama could do to repair relations.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Oh come now, let's not exaggerate… leave hyperbole to the Right, OK? Sarah Palin may be dumb, but she's definitely qualified to run a dishwasher… not my dishwasher, mind you.Mine's a fairly new model with buttons inside the door, and various programming options, and several different cycles to select from and such. I wouldn't want her anywhere near my dishwasher. But I'm sure there are plenty of older models out there, with mechanical push buttons and simple dial controls and such that she could no doubt master with a little guidance and practice.

    • Pithaughn

      I doubt it. My neighbor who is smarter than her ( he did win a game of tic tac toe once ) put Dawn in his dishwasher. He was crying because his wife was going to punish him when she found out his mistake. Luckily I knew that regular old hand soap would magically kill the bubbles!

    • An_Outhouse

      i have a sink she might be able to manage.

      • Fukui-sanYesOta

        Yeah, you say that, but wait until she tries putting spent cartridges through your waste disposal unit.

        • Charlie_Foxtrot

          It's the live rounds that are hell on the plumbing.

        • An_Outhouse

          i originally pictured sarah shoving ink cartridges down my sink. ha ha. i'm such a libtard!

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        what brilliant commenter here said rick perry was simple as a hinge?

        that was one of of my all time favorites. 'sarah palin and a dishwasher' is now up there as well.

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          So true. It's simple and hilarious. I want to fist it multiple times but alas.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Oh relax, she'll just have one of her greasy haired kids do it while she trolls facebook.

  • lumpenprole

    Are the Judeans going to bomb Persepolis or not?

    • anniegetyerfun

      I heard that modern Persepolis is actually a giant parking lot in the middle of the desert. I mean, not that that is what you were talking about, but that's what I heard.

      • lumpenprole

        I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: "a big ass parking lot stands in the desert…

  • LibrarianX

    I love the smell of desperation in the morning.

  • LibrarianX

    Stupid Obama – Tito wants his country back, also too.

    • Negropolis

      Hey, you leave the Jackson Five out of this. Too soon!

  • LibrarianX

    Clearly this is crazy food for their base, but how do they hope to win if the base is all they've got? Am I missing something?

    • HogeyeGrex

      I'm not sure they want to win this time. My latest guess is that they want Obama to win, and then they'll fuck the economy completely and try to blame it all on the evil Democrats, paving the way for a Glorious Conservative Resurgence.

      4). Profit!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Where's the love for East Germany, Liz?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Those East German judges are Liz's best chance to score higher than a 6.

    • Negropolis

      Trust me, the Republicans love the idea of East Germany, even if they'll never admit it.

  • Barrelhse

    Irkutsk and Kamchatka 4evr!

    • thebeatgoeson

      That's the RISK I remember!

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      If only my little Diomede could stand tall enough to see it.

      • Biff

        Can you see it from Alaska?

  • BarackMyWorld

    She must be angling for ambassador to Disneyland in a Romney Administration, since she's obviously fucking Goofy.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Nope. Nope. Nope . Uh, she's not, nope….

      • An_Outhouse

        she's not the lez one is she? she could e fucking goofy.

  • Toomush_Infer

    He needs to call Transylvania 6-5000 more often…

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Leela, does your family come from Green Lake Tavern country?

    • emmelemm

      Inquiring minds want to know!

  • The_Lucky_Wife

    If Lizzy really wanted to rile up the base, she would have accused Obama of abandoning the Confederacy.

  • Pithaughn

    Oh come on, how many republicans even know there was once a country named Checkeslovacky.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Who once saw a movie called "Rocky"?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Slovaki-vaki-vakistan?

  • finette_

    What about British East Africa?!

  • Indiepalin

    She's the straight one, right?

    • Charlie_Foxtrot

      Bitch is as crooked as a 3 dollar bill.

      Narrow, too, also.

      Inherited her father's reptilian heart.

  • Indiepalin

    As foreign policy advisors go, Liz Cheney is right up there with the Fenstrunk Brothers

  • a_pink_poodle

    Obama abandoned Czechoslovakia so hard that it dissolve into the Czech Republic and Slovakia!

    And lets not even go into how he abandoned the Western Roman Empire, leaving their fate to the barbarian Visogoths from the north!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    EVERYBODY !!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!
    Leela Latona IS Liz Cheney!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh. Something is oozing through the modem… I…I….
    Wait. No. Stay Back. I was just trying to…….
    Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggg……

  • izationalizer

    What I want to know is, how does she know he's abandoning the country if she doesn't even know that the country doesn't exist?

  • annettaj

    Poor Liz. She's so vile. That is all.

  • KotBR

    Oh yeah? He also let Gotham become a No Man's Land, so, what 'bout that? Huh?

  • Come here a minute

    And then I get stuck cleaning the Wheaties out of the cereal bowls because they weren't properly spaced. Fuck you, Sarah!

  • NYNYNYjr

    OOh My– they are getting SO DIRTY!!

    Conservatives are joining Democrats in complaining that Mitt Romney is running a campaign devoid of any ideas, and presents himself only as the "anti-Obama."

    “Fischer told reporters at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C. “It’s because he’s running such a lackluster campaign that has been so vague on ideas. What plan is he offering the American people?” … “The biggest mistake is they put a bag over Paul Ryan’s head,” … "they put a sock in Paul Ryan’s mouth…

    “Take the bag off of Paul Ryan’s head,” he added.“If Barack Obama wins this election, the Republican Party as we know it is finished,” Fischer said. “It is dead, it is toast, you can stick a fork in it.”

    —Naughty thoughts boil not very deep below the surface in this man. If Obama wins this election, the Republican party can just put the lotion in the basket and be a good girl.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      It puts the tax cuts in the platform or else it gets the stimulus again.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Bag it.
      Sock it.
      Fork it.
      Lose it.

      How very daft punk of them.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Is this the 11:30 autogyro to Siam?

  • Charlie_Foxtrot

    The Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere was actively opposed by the Democrats! Why is Liz letting them get away with that?

  • Charlie_Foxtrot

    "Liz" is short for "Lizard", right?

  • salt_bagel

    Whoever controls Upper Volta controls the world!

    • Biff

      And all the boatmen sing…

  • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

    Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again. Nothing doing. I'm going back and clean the crackers out of my bed; I'm expecting company.

  • rocktonsam

    come on, who wouldn't hit that?

    • anniegetyerfun

      With votes?

  • poorgradstudent

    Even if she meant to say Slovakia or the Czech Republic there's no way her comment seems sane. Was she just naming off countries from the top of her head after Israel (which is always being failed, especially if you're not Republican or Mopey Joe)? Or did she really think it was 1992 for a minute? And even then, what would Poland have to do with it?

    I'll just say she's pissed about Poland banning alcohol imports from the Czech Republic and try to salvage some of my sanity.

    • anniegetyerfun

      My guess is that she was trying to list the countries that Romney visited during his historic European tour, but somehow fucked up with it came to Great Britain?

  • Isyaignert

    Don't forget East Germany – you totally don't want to piss them off!

    • Tundra Grifter

      Ya never know when you are going to need a female swimmer with shoulders like an NFL linebacker.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Just build the damn wall!

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Once Obama can improve our diplomatic relations with the Minoans I'm planning to visit the country as I understand they have pretty, nude women jumping over bulls. Which is better than in this country where we have fully clothed ugly Republican women strewing bullshit.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Liz, you need to Czech yourself before you Wzeck yourself.

    • ElPinche

      You made me snort laugh , you bastid .

  • ElPinche

    Ever wonder why you never see Victoria Jackson and Liz Cheney in the same room?

    • bobbert

      The Derpi Exclusion Principle?

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Well, for one thing when Victoria is in a room, there's no room for anyone else.

  • azeyote

    well to tell the truth she has never looked as good as she does in this pic. must have had a little work done. why else would she get any press, you would think she would lay low with her dad going to prison for fighting against batman and doing all those war crime things against gotham city

  • LibertyLover

    Dragon LADY? That ain't no lady. Dragon or otherwise…

    • kittensdontlie

      More naturally, Lizardbeth Cheney.

  • Angry_Marmot

    Those in the international community who refuse to put red lines before Stygia don’t have a moral right to place a red light before Lemuria.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Y'all outdid yourselves on this one, and I desperately needed the laugh x 23.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    A REAL President would have sent an Ambassador to Mars, not a robot!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Barack Obama doesn't care about Martians!

  • Negropolis

    Speaking of foreign relations, how are our's with British East Africa, Rhodesia and the Transvaal? How's about Gaul, Andalucia and the Republic of Texas?

  • Calapine

    "Cheney claimed that Obama has “abandoned some of our key allies like Israel, Poland and Czechoslovakia."

    Guess who else abandoned good relations with those people…

  • anniegetyerfun

    When will Mary Cheney appear to talk to us about how Barack Obama has abandoned the gays?

  • Madam Killjoy

    Carthago delenda est!!11!!

    • unclejeems

      Carthage finally destroyed. News at 11.

  • MistaEko

    In true neocon fashion, blame will go squarely on Rockapella, who half-assed updating it in their Carmen Sandiego song way back when.

  • AddHomonym

    O/T: In other news, the who-is-to-blame-for-Romney-losing stories are already starting, in POLITICO: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0912/81280.h

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Ho ho.

      “Credit for this fog goes to that inner circle of Romney advisers who never liked the Ryan pick and have reasserted their will over a candidate who is naturally cautious,” conservative columnist Kimberley Strassel wrote in Friday’s Wall Street Journal. “In the la-la land where adviser Stuart Stevens presides, Mr. Romney wins by never saying a single thing, ever, that might rock a single boat, ever.”’

      Stevens was a big, early advocate of a bland vice presidential candidate, privately talking up former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and pushing the idea of an outsider, anti-Beltway ticket. But Stevens is hardly to blame for what many conservatives consider a campaign that is specifics-free and lame. That blame goes straight to the man running his own campaign: Romney himself, according to a number of people in and out of the campaign.

      Keep on sinking that Romney.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Big hashtag trending on Twitter right now: #WhatWouldSaveTheRomneyCampaign. Naturally the wingnuts are mostly writing OMG EXPOSE RACIST FRAUD OBAMA FOR BRIBING HIS BASE WITH FOOD STAMPS DERP DERP BARGLE!!!!1!!!

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          I believe that the President is somewhat African American.

        • AznMom420

          If we only had no government than maybe people would stop voting to continue its existence!

  • Negropolis

    OT: Anyone hear about Bibi back to trolling the Aemrican election on television, today? And, comparing a possible strike by Iran to the OKC bombing? Are you fucking kidding me?! Can anyone else imagine the outrage is the leader of some other small nation came to our shores and was trying to influence our presidential election and then bringing up and comparing a hypothetical war to an actual attack on our soil?

    Nettie-pot, why don't you hit the fucking road and go worry about your own nation's domestic issues. Maybe you could do something like concentrate on the fucking ridiculous rents in Tel Aviv or something. I don't know. What I do know is that you can fight your own goddamned war that you're so badly itching for, thank you very much. We had eight years of Dubya. We don't need another one. So, please take the schlock you're selling and stick it up your war-mongering, foreign election meddling ass.

    Your friend,
    – The Intelligent American Voter

  • duh_du

    Good to see Dick Cheney is looking healthier again.

  • misanthrope

    Gwafawk, I took one look at that picture and spit out my Doritos Locos Taco™.

  • RadioX

    You know who else had a problem with Israel, Poland and Czechoslovakia?

    • Negropolis

      The Red Army?

      • Fukui-sanYesOta

        The Ottomans?

    • Lavenderp

      Mittler?

  • RadioX

    I don't think Palin is qualified to even wash dishes.

  • Biff

    I still miss Alien Nation, myself.

  • YasserArraFeck

    "Ready when you are, Sergeant Pembry"

  • rickmaci

    Can't someone just serve her a heaping cup of shut the fuck up?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    And who's going to stop The Borg? Mr. President, make it so.

    • sbj1964

      Resistance is Futile.

  • misantropo

    Don't forget Fredonia and Molvania.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    The problem with the Rmoney's foreign policy team is that they haven't abandoned "Czechoslovakia" yet.

    • Chichikovovich

      They may not know much, but they repeat to themselves daily that what Neville Chamberlain (whoever he was) did in abandoning Czechoslovakia (whatever that is) was bad. Because it was appeasement.

      They won't make that mistake again.

      • Negropolis

        Wait, are you telling me that David Cameron is about to let Angela Merkel annex the Sudetenland?!

  • DahBoner

    The Banana Republic

    Someday, pleated khaki's will be back…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Sounds like someone needs to renew her subscription to Pravda.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    This would be the Czechoslovakia that was part of the eastern block/Soviet sphere of influence and therefore in no way our ally? Or is there another Czechoslovakia that I never learned about?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Ya'll got it wrong. What she meant to say (like any good conservative) is that Obama is writing Czechs his body can't cash.

  • DahBoner

    She's got her father's snarl…

  • sullivanst

    Liz will only think Obama's strong on foreign policy once he makes Osama apologize for getting in the way of SEAL team 6's bullets.

  • JoeBeauBoom

    Ancient Spirits of Evil… Transform this decayed form to… Cheney the Ever-Living!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umU8vKRNnRw

  • smitallica

    I wish Liz would just move back to Shutthefuckupistan.

  • Neoyorquino

    We should appoint her as ambassador to Anvilania.

  • valgal2342

    My mom just got back from the Czech Republic, she couldn't find Slovakia there but she did when she crossed the border.

  • owhatever

    Et tu, East Germany?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    When will Obama do something about the Duchy of Grand Fenwick's nuclear program?

  • AznMom420

    Next week's newsweek will feature the cover story "Moops Outraged" as Obama has all but forgotten about this oft-maligned and rarely discussed area of our world.

  • CessnaDriver

    That sonofabitch Obama refuses to appoint ambassadors to Rhodesia and the Belgan Congo!