We are mildly late to this clip of former (uh, then-future?) Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm’s epic appearance on The Dating Game in 1978, when she was an absurdly chirpy 19-year-old wanna-be actress asking mildly suggestive questions of men who look like they belong in a skeevy porn video or a Bee Gees tribute band (OK, maybe not Bachelor Number 3, who looks more like a junior high school assistant principal from any era in history). But if you had a time machine, meeting 1978 Jennifer Granholm does seem like it should be the first order of business (post KILLING HITLER.)
Your Editrix gushed over the IM that the Carter-era version of Granholm “looks just like Cassie on It’s A Living,” played by the timeless Ann Jillian, perhaps her first childhood crush. Also crossed with Olivia Newton-John, but then every woman with blonde hair in the 1970s looked like Olivia Newton-John somehow. Or Farrah. As Granholm said after the clip resurfaced last week, “I was a teenager in the 70’s!” she wrote. “My hair could’ve been a nest for an entire family of birds!” Also, too, according to a Granholm aide, young Jennifer did not actually go on the prize date, a “trip to Palm Springs, Calif., for a stay at the ‘fabulous’ Sheraton there,” but let the winning bachelor go by himself. (Story tip for Breitbart.com: if she won the prize but did not accept it, was she still liable for the taxes, and did she pay? America must vet this 1978 video!)
We have no political ambitions whatsoever, but are nonetheless relieved that no photographic existence exists of the powder blue leisure suit, which was only slightly less tacky than the host’s tux-like garment here, that we wore at our 8th-grade graduation.
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Does this article make sense if you're over fifty?
Six bits, but just barely. Oh, not that kinda cents.
Hardly anything makes sense once you turn fifty.
disclaimer: 53 next month (sigh)
Or under fitty?
Or maybe if you're so high disco music is enjoyable.
For your information, disco never went away. A couple of years after "Disco Demolition," Madonna revived the rigid beats-per-minute while ditching the strings and ride cymbals, and added synth-stabbiness and mechanical keyboard faux-bass, and everyone started calling it "dance music" for the "clubs." Despite such occasional "innovations" as auto-tune, it has remained virtually unchanged since those early polyester days. So quit being so smug, youngster!!
Maybe, but Lords of Acid > KC & The Sunshine Band.
So there's that …
"KC & The Sunshine Band"
One of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches was when two of the male comedians went around to random people in train stations, shopping malls, etc. with a boom box, asking, "Would you shake your booty for us?", and then hitting Play on Shake your Booty".
"I do not go to discos and I do not listen to disco! I go to CLUBS and I listen to DANCE MIX!" — one of my favorite gentleman friends ever
My guess: Yes. Yes it does.*
It does not, however, to anyone under 30.
(* I'm just over 40, so WTF do I know?)
I'm now 36, and being unable to understand this makes me feel young for once.
It's like when you see comedic references to something, but have never viewed the source material.
When someone says "It's over 9000!", I get the joke, but I've never watched dragonball.
Well of course; the balls are inert.
Everything you would need to understand "The Dating Game" is in that clip. There literally is nothing more to "get"!
It does, yes.
No wonder our kids fucking hate us. One day it's Woodstock and then it all turns to this.
Um, the Dating Game make sense?….us oldz thought it sucked at the time…
It's what us olds had before Match.com. More yapping, less fapping,
Yes. Now what do I win? And get off my astroturf!
Burn, baby, burn.
Hmmm, future politicians and serial killers. What was it about The Dating Game?
You know what other politician wannabe was on a stupid show?
All of them, Katie.
Clint, but all the chairs he interviewed were empty?
Sonny Bono?
The Old Ranger.
Britney and Kevin?
Beavis? Butthead?
When I was a child I saw Jimmy Carter on What's My Line? Or To Tell the Truth, or I've Got a Secret … one of those 3 ancient B/W game/panel shows. Nobody, but nobody, guessed he was the governor of Georgia.
Is this what they used to call "Making whoopie?"
No that was the Newlywed Game…."in the butt, Bob. Most definitely in the butt…"
Which was the answer to the question: "Where is the most unusual place you and your wife have made whoopie?"
Now I’m going to have that fucking Dating Game theme song bouncing around in my head all day.
It's a Small World After All,
It's a Small World After All,
It's a Small World After All
Bam! Thud.
I'll see your 'Small World' and raise you a 'Lion Sleeps Tonight.'
Don't worry!
Be happy….
This may only work for my generation but
Hakuna Matata
What a wonderful phrase
You heartless bastard. That was uncalled for.
I "theme from Titanic" in your general direction.
Munumana
I've had Jennifer Granholm bouncing around in my sex fantasies for several years. We're age-appropriate, you know. And she is a babe.
I had THAT hair in 1978.
I wanted that hair in 1978.
I had hair in 1978.
I didn't, and I was only 21
No wonder I went punk.
You know what else had hair in 1978?
Not me.
It all comes back to porn bush.
Ron Jeremy?
Everything.
Joe Biden's head?
Me.
I still have that hair on really humid days.
In 1978 I would not be born for another ELEVEN YEARS.
In 1978, I wanted to have a big ol' funk afro, but I was unable to get much cubic footage out of my naps without assistance. A couple of times I got my mother to braid my hair at night so that it would open up big and fluffy the next day, like a bag of Jiffy Pop. Unfortunately, after a couple hours of sweating, it would collapse back down to ground coverage. This, along with the comic books, kept my social calendar relatively uncluttered for several more years.
'a big ol' funk afro"
Depending on the humidity on any given day, I either had wavy hair, curly hair, or a big old… Euro (actually, that's still true).
If only I could have made money by standing in front of a target with percentages on it, I could have rented myself out to the weather channel as a humidity index.
Hahaha….well, I won't comment on style because in 1988 I had a sort of mini-mullet (thank god I didn't have the Lawrence doo) but I have to say, Jennifer Granholm is kinda sexy. Something about her being a nerdy chick but also being attractive enough to get on one of these stupid dating shows is kinda hot. She is in firmly established MILF territory, she is. Still not as hot as Kiersten Sinema (or Crystal Ball, or Mellisa Harris-Perry, Tamron Bell, or several other sexy liberal ladies amongst the political class) but very attractive none the less. She does easily outdo Hillz….I better not receive any arguments from you people about this. You know who you are, too….
"I better not receive any arguments from
you people"
OMG! You guys, it's Ann Romney!
You be born in Canada and see if all your old photos aren't unstylish.
HEY!!!
Man I don't miss the ladies wearing the linebacker shoulder pads…awful, terrible fad…right up there with the mullet I sported WAY past it's shelf life.
I have broad shoulders (for a woman) and big hair. My getting ready in the morning time during the entire decade of the 80s was pretty close to zero.
Also, I once hid my sister's shoulder pads in her bra.
fapfapfapfapfap
She had (has?!) that slightly bow legged gap at the top thing that drives me nuts.
Disco was a sad moment in the history of America.Let us never forget or it could happen again.
So is line dancing, and it's still practiced in a few honky tonks in South Texas.
It has; they just call it "dubstep" now.
You know who ELSE is a Snow Mexican?
That bitch Anne Murray?
I wondered why that didn't look right to me. Thanks for the E.
Joni Mitchell?
Gary from accounting?
Celene Dion?
Trotsky?
Do not ask for whom Baruchel tolls; he tolls for thee.
Lou Sarah's ladybit doctor?
I'm still trying to think of a way to get back at them for Keunu Reeves.
Sigh…once again, Canada apologizes.
This proves Chuck Barris was a CIA assassin.
You know, if Reagan was a great president, he would have started a nuclear war with the Commies just to make sure that nothing from the 70s survived.
But… I'm from the 70s!
Are you one of history's greatest monsters?
History's greatest monsters are the people responsible for the 70s. Not the ones born in it.
Only time will tell!
I have barely realized my diabolical potential.
Personally, I'm more of a mediocre monster.
He owed us that much, at least.
I heard he had a dead man's switch installed on the BeeGees.
Yes, but… Star Wars!! Good Star Wars!! I'm showing it at lunchtime in my classroom, and damn, it's still good!
The Auto Industry in my pants just came back to life.
"Rich corintian leather…………………………….."
KHAAAAAAAAAAN!
Rack
And pinion steering.
With an 8-ball on the shifter?
"I'll push in the clutch, babe, and you can handle the shifter…."
Ah, vintage video. Just wait until we see old clips of New Jersey Gov. Snooki.
Chris Christie at his prom
I fail to see how Snooki could be worse than the governor New Jersey already has.
Wasn't dear departed Andy Breitbart on that show, with Ann Coulter, Peggington Noonerton, and Pam Geller as the bachlorettes, and Breitbart picked Tom Foley?
Mark Foley, or Tom Foley? Either way funny, but in different ways…
It was a little discussed reason why Spokane tossed the Speaker out.
If memory serves the joke about the style of makeup back then was “is that rouge or rug burns”?
Shag rugs burn the worst too.
This just proves that Obama is the new Jimmy Carter.
Now THIS I can fap to!
Really! So many important issues and Wonkette is getting all distracted by a video of Jen and three boobs? Speaking of titillating news items. When are we going to get to the pictures of Kate Middleton's boobage on here?
Still no mention of Butterstick 2.0 either!
Why, does Kate Middleton have three boobs, too?
No, just one.
Well, there's Harry and Charles, too
Wow! That Lange tux certainly brings back memories.
Oh. My. God.
Took the words right out of my keyboard.
Yeah. Imagine having to live through that. It was monumentally embarrassing, and only got worse with the Reagan Era.
A dark time in our history. Never Forget or the disco ball may happen again.
You will have no idea until at least 15 years from now how much of an ass you're making of yourself.
Come now, sir. I always know exactly to what degree I'm making an ass of myself. One of my several dissociative personalities has a sharp eye for such things.
"OK, how'm I doing today?"
"You're doing much better, your jackass coefficient is hovering around 0.57, down 0.02 from yesterday."
"Well, I'm going to make an ultimately futile pass at the new French professor after the faculty meeting this afternoon."
"That should put you back up to 0.65 or so. Good luck."
"Thanks, but I won't need it."
Oh great! Do we have to pay for her birth control?
I think birth control was cheaper back then. But then, we had sex all over the place with as many humans as we could, so…there's that.
Yah. Those disparaging the 70s weren't there.
And I'm living proof!
Boobies.
Big hair, big shoulders, sure. Big cleavage is timeless, though.
BigCleavage.com is a Breitbart site I might lurk.
Does the carpet match the drapes?
Shag carpet bombing?
The runners up got a pizza!
I'd do her.
"Bachelor Number 3, if I was an ice cream cone, what flavor would I be and how would you eat me?" True contestant question I remember from watching "Dating Game" as a kid. I remember wondering WHY that was sexy.
Have you got a nickle?
OMG, that episode of the Gong Show is LEGENDARY!!!
I'm still partial to the episode where every single contestant sang "Feelings".
Cartoon from old issue of National Lampoon:
Guy playing piano in cocktail lounge with brandy glass for tips. Sign on piano says:
"Requests — $1.00
"Feelings" — $500.00".
"Bachelor # 2, if I'm an auto company about to go bankrupt and you're the federal government, how big of a "bailout" are you able to give me?"
Was there any actual purpose behind the shirt ruffles? I wore them, to be sure, but what was I saying to the world?
That you're Barry Manilow?
"Shiver me timbers"?
Beats hell out of me, but they lasted nearly thirty years as popular fashion at proms.
The best I've ever been able to figure out is, you didn't have to iron the shirt.
Mildly Late?
I've already exhausted an entire box of tissues using other versions of this story…
"Bachelor #2, how do you feel about collective bargaining for state employees?"
Were any men not skeevy-looking in the 70s? It seems like it was a requirement. Hell they even thought mustaches were acceptable.
There is a reason for the popularity of the punk ethos in the late 70's.
SANSABELT LIBEL!1!
RON SWANSON LIBEL!!!!!1!
My wardrobe hasn't changed too much since then. I was always a kind of anti-everything guy, though. Levi's, chambray work shirts, sandals and beard then, jorts, t-shirts, beard and sandals now. Shorter and thinner hair, though.
I have temporarily reset my avatar to 1974 to offer support for your theory.
Bachelor #1 looks like an epileptic having an attack of Tourette's. On top of a washing machine.
Hey oldz! What The Fuck were you people thinking? You couldn't have ALL been on drugs!?!
Huh?
Well, speaking for myself, I was. Like a mothahfuckah.
Dude, you holding?
Shhh! Man, I'm at work here!
I thought cocaine abuse was required by law in the 70s?
That was the 80s. The 70s were pot.
And heroin.
And banana peels.
and ludes…. remember Quaaludes? How about Black beauties or PCP…. ah, the good old days
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 714! How I miss you….Oxy and Vico just not the same thing, man….
Dust. First time I had that sprinkled in a dime, I ended up talking to some guy's bookcase.
And some white crosses.
Thai stick.
Blotter.
A few of my favorite things from the 70's.
Strawberry mescaline. Please.
Well, speaking for myself, I was sex besotted. And high, too.
Aside from the occasional RomBot, yes we were.
Dammit, I knew I wasted my time in the 70's… by not getting wasted.
yes. yes we were….
As you can see from the replies to your comment, yes we could.
It all seemed like harmless fun at the time.
As someone younger than myself said about the present, "Drugs that can kill you and ain't even fun".
1 year later…PeeWee Herman, Dating Game. It's really loud so turn down volume first. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z-Vc0_zG4I
That bachelorette is modeling the finest in lime green Depends.
I can't believe I still have to wait another 15 years to see which future-former governor made an appearance on MTV's "Singled Out"
Well at least she admits to being born outside of the United States.
We have no political ambitions whatsoever, but are nonetheless relieved that no photographic existence exists of the powder blue leisure suit, which was only slightly less tacky than the host’s tux-like garment here, that we wore at our 8th-grade graduation.
I know your mom's to blame, but even back then, no one wore leisure suits except ironically.
Oh, and a guy named David Singer, who thought they were cool, but then Dave used to take cigarettes out of people's mouths and stamp them out.
Truth be told though, this is pretty much how people hook up on Wonkette.
People are hooking up on Wonkit? Why was I not informed?
When did Wonkette hook-ups become a thing?
Hooking up????? How????….honest, I'm just curious….um….
Since when can we not say that certain word that starts with an R and means being developmentally slowed?
There goes my joke about Sarah Palin being only mildly that-worded…
Those clothes, the big feathery hair on everybody, those weird floral prints on the wall, the beards, the giant-ass old man glasses; damn the 70s were an aesthetic disaster. Glad I was just a baby then and can't remember them.
Right, because flannel shirts are soooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy…
And T-shirts with cartouches.
Hey now! Olive green and orange go very well together!
The correct terms, IIRC, are "avocado" and "harvest gold."
The typing of which just caused a rather uncomfortable flashback to my elementary school days …
You kept your Maytag appliance catalog from 1978, or is that from family photos of the kitchen?
The latter mostly, but I also had an apartment in the late 1990s with appliances from the mid-1970s in the aforementioned color scheme (and were practically brand new, as the previous tenant ate out a lot, I guess).
It often made me wonder if more people were color blind back then, or just too high to care (as I was in the late 1990s).
I think those were the colors my parents' house was painted when we first moved in.
My parents bought an old 1970s A-frame out in the hills, from the original owners about 13 years ago. Still had the avocado-colored appliances and the lime green shag carpeting.
PUCE ABUCE!
Some of my best fashion moments are first day of school pictures throughout the 70's.
I've got family vacation pictures to shudder at. I was the most unattractive teenager imaginable.
Recent telephone conversation with my parents:
Dad: So we were going through the old picture albums of when you girls were teenagers. I never realized how much you looked like me.
…I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry.
The Big Hair and those gigundus shirt collars were a necessary counterbalance to platform shoes and bell bottoms with CUFFS.
She was Big Hair before it was cool!
What is Canadian for haute?
"Hoot"
Neige?
Cuisine…
And she didn't go on the date? What a cocktease.
She looked good then, and she looks good now. And even better now, she has demonstrated she is a smart and compassionate person, that makes her even more attractive.
Well, yea, but tits!
Those kind words will only help your cause if she happens to read the Wonkette. Otherwise you can just cut to the chase with a "I'd hit that."
Whenever I look at video footage of that time, I always get the impression that the 1970s existed under a light haze of shag particles and grime.
… And a sticky mix of Aqua Net fumes and cocaine dust.
Don't forget the underlying scent of crappy marijuana.
And Jovan Musk
And pubes
'Tis true, son. Life was just one long Fiona Apple video.
…and a yowling soundtrack of Rolling Stones roadhouse disco:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdO6DajbVW0
And coke residue.
Don't forget double-knit polyester.
This post is quite easy to masturbate to.
OH MY GOD! Bachelor Number One. IT"S ME!!!!!!
Fashions by Grizzly Adams, eh?
"…..she was an absurdly chirpy 19-year-old wanna-be actress asking mildly suggestive questions of men who look like they belong in a skeevy porn video."
Wait, I thought she was a Democrat, not a Republican, or former Alaska governor.
What's fantastic is that Ms. Granholm almost perfectly anticipates the amazing look–and personality– of Bernadette Peters in that 1979 classic "The Jerk". All she needs is a trumpet solo for "You belong to me": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI8NuFAETMQ
watch it!
More with the cosmetology school theme, thanks!
Bernadette Peters, yumm!
Love that scene.
So heartrending, and yet so goofy, in rapid alternation.
Gives me emotional whiplash.
Most future Republican politicians, however, can be found on 1970s footage from The Price is Right.
Fashion — how can it change four times a year and still always be appallingly wrong in retrospect? It's one of those statistical mysteries.
If perfectly-brassiered 50's breasts are wrong, I don't want to be right.
Only time will make it so…
Young Jen Granholm and Young Sarah Palin are like the live-action version of Betty and Veronica.
Goddamn, she was cute as hell, and still is. Govern me!!
I'd like quaaludes and camel toe to block, please.
You guys have to watch this — I never would have figured Jen Granholm was the power behind the Mexican cartel!!
Giggity.
"Bachelor #2, if you were a vegetable, would you be a string bean, a cucumber or a zucchini?"
I think vegetables are sensuous, don't you?
I, too, had a batch of number 2 this morning.
My leisure suit was yellow, and it was cool 'cause I didn't have to wear a tie. I played the home-version of the Dating Game with my sisters. Yes…I was there.
No leisure suit here, but a few years earlier than that I did have a Nehru Jacket.
Also, too: the NYT blog refers to Granholm's "high-wasted pants"
Is that a typo, or a redundancy?
Man, I want to smash that first contestant's face in with a hammer.
Our GILF > their GILF.
Wait…Granholm's a granny?
It's probably a good thing that Ms Granholm didn't succeed in Hollywood. Her career might have peaked out at starring in a sitcom, or spinning wheels on a game show.
1978 was the nadir of taste in America. And that was just the shoes i wore.
This may not be popular, but can you guys please stop picking on Hitler? He had a tough youth!
You know who ELSE had a tough…
youth…?
Oh, crap.
BOOBIES!!!
She was forced to ask the question "What form of transportation should a woman be?" This completely explains everything for me.
Did I mention I work in transportation? In Michigan?
Speaking of the need for gay hairdressers…
Thank goodness we all know better now, and the currently fashionable clothes, hairdos, and makeup will never look dated and ridiculous.
I'd still fuck her.
Now, that was a rather ambivalent-to-mean way to describe this UC Berkley double-major grad/Harvard Law grad-turned-MI-Attorney-General-Turned-Guv.
Let me just tell you, as MILFy governors go, the Dating Show would be an end for Sarah Palin whereas for Granholm it was the lightbulb moment that propelled her to seek intellectual heft. Plus, I loved that early in her career when she could have done anything she wanted to, she moved to a tiny apartment in Detroit with her husband to clerk when everybody with any sense was running away from the place and spent her formative young adult years grinding it out in a state party more known for its good, ole boy machine in Wayne County than for good ideas. By sheer force of will she broke out from the machine to become governor. No one really saw her coming.
Didin't watch it. I'm down to fapping every other day now and today isn't the day. Tomorrow looks good…
I remember 1978 and the Dating Game. I knew Jenni would make it big one day! So proud of her.
And what's this Palm Springs place? Looks like a nice vacation spot, and they have that shocker ride too. Yea!
What's the most exotic place you've ever made 'whoopie'?
I WANT TO MEET 1978 JENNIFER GRANHOLM AND HAVE SEXY TIMES WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awww, we've got the funk. Got to have the funk! Get down tonight! Shake your bootie! That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I LIKE IT! FIRE! The way you walk, and talk, really sets me off! Love, rollercoaster!! Fly, Jennifer, fly–up, up to the sky! You should be dancin'!
These songs should be playing over collaged footage of 1978 Jennifer Granholm.
Interesting occupation, that….Of all my relations, I like pubic the best.
Some of us have kids of a certain age.
That probably beats "I love you, you love me…"
*sigh*
It's not easy being green…
I've tried watching some vintage porn from the 70s, and everyone is just so gross it's unfappable.
Lovin' you, is easy 'cause you're beautiful…
do-n-do-n-do-dooo, Oooooooooooooooooo
haha
I have some vintage 20s-40s porn and it is just nasty.
You son of a BITCH!!!
WE HAD JOY
WE HAD FUN
WE HAD SEASONS IN THE SUN…
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug down at Muskrat Land…
And some white cross and Thai stick and blotter
These are a few of my favorite thiiiiiings….
Some drugs have a half-life…that's my story and I'm sticking with it.
I don't own vintage porn, but I've watched vintage porn from the 1920s, featuring the newly invented automobile:
Scene 1
Guy: Oh, I'm out of gas.
Girl: I'll have to walk a mile home.
Scene 2
Guy: Oh, I'm out of gas.
Girl: I'll have to walk two miles home.
Scene 3
Guy: Oh, I'm out of gas.
*fuck fuck fuck*
*afterwards*
Girl: I'm not about to walk five miles home just to keep you from getting the clap.
Actual sign at Preservation Hall in N'orleans, circa 1968:
Requests — $1.00
The Saints — $25.00
That's a long way for a little bit.
To give the gentleman credit where it's due, "out of gas" was a fresh and original line back when that movie was filmed.
Damn you.
AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Wood grain printed vinyl on stereos and televisions and station wagons is what I remember from the decade.
White cross. *Sigh* I solved all of the world's present and future problems while buzzing around on that stuff. I wish I had written some of my answers down.
Shannon is lost
She's drifting out to seeeeeea….
TRUE: I have KC & The Sunshine Band on vinyl that I got when I was a kid.
Not proud of that, but … there it is.
Still there in 1989.
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