Presented without comment:
“A few hours after expressing a desire to meet the Fort Pierce pizza parlor owner who hugged and lifted President Obama on Sunday, Crist showed up at Van Duzer’s business this afternoon and, according to Van Duzer, said, ‘You know what I’m here for.’”
[PalmBeachPost, via Politico]
{ 148 comments }
Imitation, the sincerest form of flattery.
Teh buttsechs?
I'm not a gay man but I don't think that position is going to work for buttsechs.
That depends on the size of the Duzer's penis.
Which, since he's probably on teh roids, you're right.
I'm not a gay man either, but I do know a letchy old guy around here we girls have named "half hard on your stomach guy." I think that might work here as well.
Kindly, provide a list of "around here" so we can avoid it and said "letchy old guy."
Oooh, ooh, pick me, I am! Studying the photo, it looks like Huggy Bear Lite's penis is extended all the way to Crist's back and poking the denim right under his belt. If it's that big, buttsechs could still work, even if it seems to have bypassed its target in this photo.
Once you've seen it, you can't unsee it.
Would a gay man dress like that?
Hey, it's Florida, home of the polyester plaid pants hitched up over the navel.
That's straight camo.
David Vitter: "I'm here for the Huggies"
yes!
Thanks. Every once in a while I slip up and something funny comes out.
"Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."
Easy first, then hard.
Yeah. A large pepperoni with extra cheese.
And you know what a "large pepperoni" means, right?
Your entendre is doubly funny.
I'm sorry, but if there's "cheese", someone needs an antibiotic.
Or a shower.
You'll need a wider stance to run for Senate.
An apology for America?
Then Crist raved about Van Duzer's sexy Capri pants.
Those are not Capri pants, they're shower shorts. All the boys at the club wear 'em.
damn charlie! i wanted to be the first homo bear hugged by this guy. well maybe i can be the first out homo…right charlie?
The meth? Because in Florida there is always a meth-o.d. to the madness.
I hate getting hugged. These photos are like torture. Charlie Crist is pro-torture!
Oh, don't be that way. Sounds like someone needs a hug!
Or how about a nice Eurokiss on both cheeks? That's also popular among the personal-space-challenged.
Euro kisses are okay because they usually smell nice. It's like perfume sampling.
And then the bunga-bunga!
Yeah, that's the thing: in Italy, at least, men Eurokiss each other. But of course Italian men all wear perfume so it's okay. It's no accident that the Italian word for "man" is uomo.
Death…by bunga bunga?
Earlier that morning, Charlie had picked out that whole outfit with this moment in mind. I wonder how much time he spent on it.
Doesn't Crist look like he's feeling up an imaginary person behind the guy's back? Who might this person be? So many to choose from…
Smirking Romney?
Mark Foley?
Judging by the hand placement it would be someone large…so since the GOP has so many fatasses to choose from I'm going to go out on a limb and say Jebby.
Awww, I actually like Charlie Crist—-but both these boys need to admit that they're Dems.
Dude, you gotta cut this out. Think about the tragedy of trying to bear hug/lift the NJ governor. He could shadow your threshold soon.
FLORIDA PIZZERIA OWNER CRUSHED BY NJ GOV
Suffers Herniated Lumbar Discs in Photo Op
No way Governor Sammich would want a hug, he'd want three large pies with extra cheese.
To prevent serious injury or death, he would have to borrow one of These.
Yay! Favorite Sigourney Weaver line!!
Christie may want a hug, but there is no human on earth who could get his arms around that fucking giant waddling sack of shit.
Beat me to it. Great minds think alike, but fools never disagree.
Christie: I want a hug, I want a hug.
Hugging pizza guy: He'll hug you (points at a forklift)
They could always use the method Christy's staff uses to get him to make speechs: tie a giant raw steak to a branch and lead him away slowly. Of course Christy is a one man record quarterly earning for anything not called an all-you-can-eat buffet so he might just shove a giant pizza down his piehole and in a week we can hear about the need for a taxpayer funded bailout of New Jersey because Sammich ate the budget again….
Why did Harry Shearer let his hair go gray like that?…And you present without comment?
I think I see a Democratic Joe-the-Plumber equivalent beginning to craft his congressional campaign.
"Van the Hugger."
Hmm. Possibly.
Florida is full of gheys and old ladies, isn't it? They're all fine with hugging.
One impediment is that Van Duzer is actually a successful small businessman, and not just blowhard fraud, and a genuinely nice guy, rather than just an asshole hypocrite, but we could work around that. How to make this work?
I've GOT IT! He could run as a Democrat!
I tihnk he is actually a Republican. Moderate. Make it all the better when he hugged Bamz.
Oh yes, we will continue to comment, but this is the first Wonkette I have ever seen that is perfect, without need of any further japes or quips.
It's not fair when the subject of the post provides the best comment.
Attention? So someone will PLEASE TAKE HIS PICTURE and talk about him? Getting shunned by the buttholes you aligned yourself with has got to hurt your feelings, no matter how right you were to be nice to PresO.
I'm sure no one looks at Charlie like Becs did, and he misses her still.
I missed yet another chance to meet our Becky in the City that Never Sleeps, fuck and damn!
Charlie Crist may seem cool now, but he was no saint when he was doing everything Jeb Bush and the Sugar lobby told him to do. He cut a deal with the Sugar companies which absolved them of any responsibility for polluting the shit out of the Everglades. Thanks to Crist the Flroida tax payer now owns twenty six thousand acres, bought at a whopping two hundred million, which we'll end up having to pay to clean anyway.
As far as school privatization is concerned, Charlie did every little thing Jeb Bush told him to do on that front. That little time bomb is going to explode in the next twenty years and it's going to be a disaster.
Crist:
"Nooo not a bear hug a BEAR TOP"
Kate Middleton has a lock on that right now thanks to the dogless puparazzi.
What's Charlie Crist up to these days? Maybe he was "here for" the job of delivery driver.
Working for an ambulance chasing law firm in Tampa called Morgan and Morgan.
Hm, I would have never guessed that "Attorney Charlie Crist" was from Altoona, PA.
He's got 2 captains in him?
What's a delivery guy without a nice package?
Well, he wants a job, doesn't he?
Charlie says Relax.
Relax don't do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
Relax don't do it
When you want to come
When you want to come
Is this going to become a post-convention thing? Let's all go hug the pizza guy? Who's next? John Kerry? Julian Castro? Dave Weigel?
Editrix, gas up the car.
Since FL is supposedly a key swing state, Romney's people are doing a rather feverish internal poll on this very subject. An advance man will be visiting Van Duzer in the next few days with a very generous offer.
I think David Brooks wants in on some of that action.
I would hug Mayor Castro like whoa. I simply swoon over his dazzling smile.
Elizabeth Warren. She NEEDS this.
So is this a lift-off? I've heard that can happen in Florida.
You know its a true thing, I went to high school in Flarda and sometimes we'd be drinking beer on the beach at night (dancing on the sand around the flames of a bonfire on a beach is my vision of Valhalla still) and a fucking rocket would take off and streak across the sky blazing a fucking trail of flame. It was magic.
Sorry for the fucking nostalgia for when America actually did seem exceptional. I'ma go listen to some Billy Bragg now. Is it wrong to wish on space hardware?
It can also happen in an airport.
I've never seen mommy jeans fly before.
I didn't realize that Charlie had such a large Zardoz-like head.
He & John Boehner must be sharing tanning secrets…nice Tang-like hue, Charlie.
I love this dude, but for Charlie, this is just embarrassing. I mean, when our straight, young, cool, POTUS did it it was endearing. This feels smarmy.
Yeah, it looks like a snuff film when Charlie does it.
I've heard of internet memes before. Is this gonna turn into some political meme, now? Are all politicians gonna have to go and meet with huggy dude?
He really is light in his loafers.
Oh, so very much WIN.
Thank you for not posting the Naked Version
Regardless of what these men are doing (not that there's anything wrong with that), that is one ugly floor.
And there should be three feet on it, at all times. At least, those were the rules when I taxi danced.
I cannot help but like this Crist guy! A much nicer gay american than New Jersey's Gay American governor McGreevey, who was a very nasty mean fellow.
Crist probably has much better taste in pre-threesome restaurants, too.
Ewwwww. God I forgot that shit. And if you remember, then you probably know how he broke his leg. Please tell me!
Ms. Crist does seem to like the bears.
Bow chicka what now?
More subtle than Dr. Tomas' unforgettable "remove your clothes" yet more direct than Joey's infamous "how you doin' "
Or Joey Biden's "How you doin'? Want to wrap your arms across my engines?"
Bruuuuuce!
So maybe Crist was just quoting Springsteen too…”don't you run back inside darlin' you know just what I'm here for…”
I wanna know who shopped a different body onto Charlie's head.
Hmm, either brevity is the soul of wit, or hangovers interfere with output. Its gotta be one or the other.
We are going to have Heuvos Rancheros and I think that will help with the posting from our Editrix.
He's gonna have to give up pizza and go into the hug business.
Jeeze get a room.
The gloryhole is just off the kitchen, Charlie.
How much do you want to bet that Bill Clinton is right now being photographed with a biker chick on his knee?
OT:
Editrix, let me post here in your thread any apology I owe you for last night. I don't know if I did anything wrong, but if I did, I apologize and I will go to my room and think about the thing I may or may not have done, if you were offended by me.
Not saying you were, I'm just apologizing prophylactically.
Also, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWF!
Not sure prophylactically means what you think it does…or maybe it does. I just keep thinking 'condom'.
Oh yes it does ;-)
Preservatif
Party Pictures Posted at 11?!?
We are all being bear hugged by an all-american good guy and pizza man today.
Anyone remember way back to the beginning of the week when this story was spontaneous and cool? Yeah, fading for me too.
Really. Now, if Crist had held an American embassy hostage, then he might be relevant
By the Kevin Bacon rule of linkage our Edrix is only two removed from hugging Obama!
I am attempting to Photoshop Crist bending his knee, as that is the age old indicator of an effective hug or kiss.
a cheap feel.
That's right, pizza guy – let's tear down some emotional walls. Mmm. Mmmm.
Crist showed up at Van Duzer’s business this afternoon and… said, ‘You know what I’m here for.’”
Van Duzer was heard to reply: "In what respect, Charlie?"
Frottage is a real thing.
There's Good Hugs and then there's Bad Hugs
Hot pepperoni and cold Dr. Pepper?
Jesus wept.
Pizza Guy – just tell yourself that's a Mozzarella stain Charlie deposited on your manly belly.
Oh dear. My original comment looks even more prescient since Charlie showed up in actual loafers.
I just posted my first triple-digit wonkette comment earlier this AM.
What's this guy's address?
Congrats! Cracking 100 is a milestone in every wonketeers life.
I'm sure that's not the first bear bounce Charlie Crist has sought. Maybe the first one not on Craigslist, but not the first ever.
Haha – Anderson Cooper got his big bear hug too! I "heart" this guy and cannot believe he's really a Republican because he's got a huge heart and cares about people.
Please send some money to his awesome foundation that really helps people – http://thevanduzerfoundation.org/ – He even has a section on his website showing the aftermath of his Obama bear hug.
As George Takei would say: Oh. My.
great now i need pizza.
I don't 'need' pizza. I can quit whenever I want. But a slice or two in the morning helps steady my nerves.
I'll bet that van Duzer's pizza is very fine. If I ever again set foot in Florida, I'll check it out.
He is so fucking gay.
And that's okay but he is so fucking gay.
That kinda says it all…
"Don't run back inside
Darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we aint that young anymore
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You aint a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me"
Greatest pick up line in the history of rock n roll!
Pathetic. Sorry, guys, no can likey Charlie Crist. I know he's "seen the light"…supports Obama…yadda yadda yadda…..But he did a LOT of damage to gay people in the state of Florida when he actually had power to do good. Fuck his closeted, freakish, unnaturally tanned ass.
Not a tough lift as Crist is a little light in the loafers.
Van just wants to be loved.
Is that so wrong?
Newt showed up, but could not be lifted. Instead, he suggested a series of forty-three Lincoln-Douglas style four-hour debates. Herman Cain is white with anger that another pizza man is taking his media. Rick Santorum deplored the bodily contact between two men, and Rick Perry ordered a large pizza with three toppings: Pepperoni, Sausage and … uh …
Beautiful.
Lay off the helium, Charlie…
I say the same thing when I go to strip clubs. Hopefully it will work out better for ChuckieChrist than it does for me.
Their dicks are touching. Just sayin.
A 12" sausage?
Nobody wants to go for the light-in-the-loafers gag?
Waiting for Mittens and his posse of Michigan prep school back up boys to wrestle them both to the ground, cut their hair and issue the stern warning, "We're not tolerating any more of that in MY America!"
This can't be real. This has got to be a Family Guy cut-away. lol
Honestly, this is just awesome. But, this is going to become a thing, now, right? Every national-level politician is going to make a pilgrimage to be blessed by this Florida monk, right?
Try as I might, I can't get the phrase "sloppy seconds" out of my head.
I know I'm no fashion-plate, but some men just should not wear jeans. Don't Mitt and Charlie have any friends? Somebody needs to tell them: I mean they're both nice looking men, why do they insist on trying to pull that look off? It is not "casual" on them, it is out of fucking character.
Comments on this entry are closed.