HU-MANS ONBOARD  2:40 pm September 13, 2012

Romney’s World: With The Middle East On Fire, He Would Like Us To Help Rename His Plane

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Sure, why not
What is the worst possible thing that Egg Romney could call the Romney flying machine? Here is a message from His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, to inform us!

Ann likes to joke that the campaign plane should be called “Hair Force One.”

Personally, I don’t quite know what to call it, but I do know it’s crucial in getting this campaign’s message to every corner of the country. And with just 54 days left until the election, we will be putting it to good use.

I’m excited to invite two of my supporters to come on board the plane, and join me for a day on this important journey. I hope you’ll enter for a chance to fly with me.

I don’t know exactly what our itinerary will be, but if you’re one of the winners — I can tell you it will be exciting. And, who knows, maybe you and I will come up with a better name for the campaign plane.

Thanks for your support,

Mitt Romney

WELL. We at Wonket are reasonably sure that Wonkers — the smartest, handsomest commenters in the known universe and then some! — can come up with something better than stupid old Egg’s stupid old nickname. For Miffed’s PLANE. Because shouldn’t our priorities right now really be on coming up with the perfect moniker for our private jet?

OBVS.

Let us start you off:

Planes Trains and Total Fucking Idiots.

Soul Plane.

The Plane That Belongs To Mitt Romney Who Probably Has Asperger’s And That Is Why He Does Not At All Find It Tone-Deaf To Have Private-Jet Naming Contests, Today, When The World Is Pretty Much On Fire, Right?

We think that last one might be the keeper.

[Via Wonkette operative "WorthyB"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 386 comments }

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

How about Spaceball 1?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Is the security code "1, 2, 3, 4, 5"?

Sophist[Kochblocker] September 13, 2012 at 8:46 pm

1, 2, 3, 4, 5? That's amazing! I've got the same password on my IntenseDebate account!

bobbert September 13, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Hairball One

Maman September 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"The Aircraft"

karlamarx September 13, 2012 at 4:03 pm

yes!

fartknocker September 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Abort, Abort, Abort!

Tom September 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Snakes on a Plane

Incitefully_Joe September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Also, too

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Only if Matalin is traveling with her husband.

Baconzgood September 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I'M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER FUCKING PLANE!

-Bad Mother Fucker-

Dashboard Buddha September 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I'M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER FUCKING REPUBLICANS ON MY MOTHER FUCKING BRAIN.

PsycWench September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Not Fakes on a Plane?

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

"DooM"

An Asexual Ungulate September 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Because "doom" backwards is "mood" and Mitt Romney is in the mood for you girl?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

E1m5?

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Phobos Lab. Could be Kolob Lab though.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 6:02 pm

That was the best midi.

gullywompr September 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Brick

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Cracker Bay

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

My Little Tax Credit

OneYieldRegular September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

The Titanic

Wadisay September 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

The Hindenburg

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

So, ship crashes = OK Snark. Plane Crashes? Less so.

commiegirl99 September 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Well, here's my reasoning: the Titanic and Hindenburg are really more metaphors for Terrible Failure at this point. Plane crashes with people on them equal dead people.

Does that make sense do you think?

OneYieldRegular September 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I reasoned that if the Las Vegas showgirl revue "Jubilee" can feature a perky musical number set aboard the sinking oceanliner Titanic, then I'd be fairly safe invoking the metaphorical use of the name.

DemmeFatale September 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I saw that show!
The Titanic bit was totally boring, but the other stuff was completely hilarious.
(There was quite a lot of snark and parody there, but it went over the heads of most of the audience.)

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 11:12 pm

I appreciate the distinction, and thought it was something like that. I do understand you have to run a business,and this isn't just our little playground, but lines like that in humor are so hard to draw. Guess that is why you get the big bucks. Have a vodka for me at the party tonight.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Egg Crate

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Snake (Oil Salesman) On a Plane.

Incitefully_Joe September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

YOU STOLE MY IDEA FROM THE FUTURE

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

You may retroactively take credit for it.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Blunder Bus

badseeds September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

The Spirit of Latter Day Saints.

Sophist[Kochblocker] September 13, 2012 at 9:46 pm

The Spirit of St. Clueless.

MissTaken September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

The Money Shot

LibertyLover September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

"Liar Flyer"

MNWICyborg September 13, 2012 at 2:55 pm

When Pig (Fuckers) Fly!

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

The Mittensberg? Crash ,and burn!

Lucidamente1 September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

My Grandchildren's Inheritance?

memzilla September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Von Lyin's Express?

SorosBot September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

The 16,846th Tax Write-Off.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Second Place

zumpie September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

First Loser

DemmeFatale September 13, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Being second just means that you're first in a long line of losers.
"Inspirational" saying at my local physical rehab(!)

comrad_darkness September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Who let the planes out? Woof . . . woof woof woof!

SexySmurf September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I’m excited to invite two of my supporters to come on board the plane

It's cute Mittens believes he has that many supporters.

DonnyKerabotsos September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

If he had three supporters one of them would have to ride strapped to the roof.

kingofmeh September 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm

"seamus" would be a great name for the jet.

Chichikovovich September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

The Koch Brothers.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Nobody puts Sheldon Adelson in the corner!!

bobbert September 13, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Is he gonna wear them?

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Air Amercia

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

HMS Mittens?

comrad_darkness September 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Props To You, Rich Dude

memzilla September 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Outsource One?

Jerri September 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"Hindenburg" seems in poor taste so I'll not suggest that.

How about "Biff" or "Chad?"

Pragmatist2 September 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"Asshole One" ???
"Swiss Air"???

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Android One

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Cloud Raper

FakaktaSouth September 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I like this. I think they would see the cloud piercing and polluting as a positive, but I think, definitely this.

MNWICyborg September 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

It's legitimate

ahnc September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"The Proud Prick"

badseeds September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Flexible Flyer

ChernobylSoup September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Luftwaffle

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

(snort!)

mayor_quimby September 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Very strong entry, sir/ma'am

MosesInvests September 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Ja, das ist gut.

BelleSC September 13, 2012 at 4:47 pm

FTW!

Schmannnity September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Airforce None.

MissTaken September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Ebola no Gay

LibertyLover September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Air Force None

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Airhead Force One.

Lucidamente1 September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The Spirit of Saint Joseph Smith?

comrad_darkness September 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

The Spirit of Prophet Parley P. Pratt

Mitt's Great grand-pa. And no, I shit you not.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I KNEW he was a prat.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The bumpersticker reads: "My Other Plane Is A Learjet"

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

"Don't laugh, it's paid for…with money I didn't pay in taxes"

Eve8Apples September 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

And there is a pair of TruckNutz dangling from the tail.

Oblios_Cap September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The Albatross

slithytoves September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Fly with him? And just when I thought flying couldn't get any worse.

Hera Sent Me September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The Retroactively Retired.

The Airy-Definitely-Not-Fairy.

Moroni's Chariot.

The Mayonnaise Express.

The Flying Pretzel.

The Write(off) Stuff.

The Write(off) Flyer.

The It's All First Class.

The Wow From Up Here, All Those People Look Like Laid Off Ants.

Chitty Chitty Lie Lie.

Air Force One Percent.

karlamarx September 13, 2012 at 4:10 pm

air force one per cent is the best!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 13, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Air Force 1% is pretty awesome

greenloner September 16, 2012 at 5:57 pm

I vote for Moroni's Chariot

weejee September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Foul. Five minute major for total bullshit.

The sign just above Mittens's (how do you do possessive for Mittens?) left shoulder looks just like the Vietnam Service Ribbon.

the_onceler September 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Rafalca the flying horse?

Shypixel September 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Rape Force One

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

SS Minnow

Tequila Mockingbird September 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Bain in the Ass

Blueb4sinrise September 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Error-plane.

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

The Botany Gay.

SmutBoffin September 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Air Force 1%

WhatTheHolyHeck September 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

THIS

BornInATrailer September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Very nice.

SmutBoffin September 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Thank you!

I am good at wordplay because I have Asperger's.

gullywompr September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

FTW

KeepFnThatChicken September 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

WIN

NewYorkJew September 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Mitt Built This

just so we keep the campaign on track to its goal of total honesty

no_gravity September 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Kolob Bound

KeepFnThatChicken September 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

NEEDS MOAR BOOSTERZ

gullywompr September 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

The Cayman Islands Clipper.

Crank_Tango September 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Way to throw Sarah Palin's escort-service van wrap bus under the bus.

RedneckMuslin September 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Does he mean, "fly with me" like I think he means it?

ragarlove September 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Air Force Dumb

Incitefully_Joe September 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Smug Snake on a Plane.

Oblios_Cap September 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

The Cooked Goose

LibertyLover September 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

"Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol. "

WhatTheHolyHeck September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Glue Sniffer

LibertyLover September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I picked a bad day to give it up.

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Nick! Heath! Jared! There's a fire in the barn!

Crank_Tango September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande.

Dr_Zoidberg September 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Macho Grande is where I developed my drinking problem.

imissopus September 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Severe shell shock. He thinks he's Ethel Merman.

CheeseBro69 September 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Air Mormon Moron

Jerri September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

"Mitt Romney"

elviouslyqueer September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Aeroflop.

CripesAmighty September 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

We have a Winnah!(snort)

imissopus September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

The Runner-Up

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

The Last Plane to Smirksville?

Tundra Grifter September 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

AirGo.

Oblios_Cap September 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Ann's Magic Panties

Tundra Grifter September 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Flip/Flop Fly.

LibertyLover September 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Armageddon Express

BornInATrailer September 13, 2012 at 2:55 pm

The Spruce Douche

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Oh, I think you WON me. Well, not me.

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

"Herve Villechaize"

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I.e., "De Bain! De Bain!"

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I don’t know exactly what our itinerary will be

It's OK, Mitt. Neither does the rest of the country…

RadioX September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Ebola Gay

MinAgain September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

The Bounty

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

And Mitteny is on it.

WhatTheHolyHeck September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Jets Are People Too, My Friend

Toomush_Infer September 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Pussy

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I loved their album "Fly Like a Brick"

comrad_darkness September 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

What did they say "R-word Express"?

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Talked about celebs who died in plane crashes.

comrad_darkness September 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Must be me, but I have trouble keeping track of the allowed boundaries of snark.

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

You'll know it when you see it.

ChernobylSoup September 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

No, I was referring to the career trajectories of Gary Busey and Jessica Lange.

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

It was probably something akin to that Lynyrd Skynyrd incident.

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I'm glad I didn't play the Stevie Ray card.

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

That was a helicopter accident. I blame equally-overrated guitarist Eric Clapton for inviting (i.e jinxing) him to go on tour right before the accident.

SorosBot September 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

It was about

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Weren't you and Becca just hanging out, having a good time? The Ban Hammer has no mercy!

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I went Ricky Nelson all over it, but that was not replied to

fuflans September 13, 2012 at 8:43 pm

this is the wonkette blair witch project

bikerlaureate September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Simulacrum Transport Flight Unit.

Come here a minute September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Flying Metal Tube of Losing

Nostrildamus September 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

This is my favorite.

PeaceWithHonor September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Mitt's Delusion

Mrspanky September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

"The City of Broken Dreams"

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

The Serpentine Talk Express

bikerlaureate September 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Big Ol' Het Hairliner.

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Con Air.

LibertyLover September 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Mitt and Paul's Excellent Adventure

Not_Mother September 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Billable Hours.

sudsmckenzie September 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Raplainca

imissopus September 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

The Douche Canoe

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Carried Interest

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Just flies out there.

Rosie_Scenario September 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

"Above it All"

Not_So_Much September 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Mechanical Aerial Conveyance.

Empty Suit Express.

Derrrpp Derrrpa Derp Derrrp!

imissopus September 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Anyone mind if I tweet some of these at the Mittster? Or maybe Wonkette/commiegirl would like to do it.

karlamarx September 13, 2012 at 4:15 pm

do it with my blessing!

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

White Cloud

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I was thinking "Summer's Eve" because of the douche factor, but toilet paper is probably more appropriate

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Unelectable One.

BlueStateLibel September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Flip Flop

Estproph September 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

The Diplomatic Immunity

Estproph September 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

The Gaffe

1stNewtontheMoon September 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Flight One to Kolob

GhostBuggy September 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Rafalca's Folly.

emmelemm September 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

And this post demonstrates why Wonketters are the wittiest and snarkiest people on earth (me excepted) – all these responses are certifiably genius.

One_who_wanders September 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Above it all

What do you people want now

prommie September 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

The World's On Fire! I have not heard The Housemartins in forever! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r17A0pftiDQ

prommie September 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Oh, the plane? "Above it All."

Eve8Apples September 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Flight to failure.

Estproph September 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

The Spirit Of Saint Joseph Smith

FlownOver September 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Oh, the Mormonity!

Crank_Tango September 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Polygamy mile high club sandwich? In comic sans?

BornInATrailer September 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Mile Never-Been-High Club?

Estproph September 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

The Flight Of The Phonies

jqheywood September 13, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Flight of the Chancres?

Guppy September 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

"The Small Plane"

"This Old Thing"

"An Hour's Pay"

"A Quiet Place"

"Cayman Express"

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I think "This Old Thing" is a total winner!

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

The Bain Mutiny

Jerri September 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

"Failure to Launch"

imissopus September 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm

The Polygamy Compound

JustPixelz September 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm

The right wing is the only thing that's holding it up so maybe just half a name. "Koch Ex".

Maman September 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Mile High Flub

Guppy September 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

"Held In Trust"

iTuna September 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Chitty Chitty Bain Bang

Maman September 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

AeroStiff

Baconzgood September 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Air Planes Are People Too My Friend?

caitifty September 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Air Farce One?

amoosefloats September 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Fly The Greedy Skies!

GenderFenderBender September 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Moronimobile.

Not_Mother September 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Bankruptcy Built This.

karlamarx September 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm

love this one.

Baconzgood September 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Is there a dog on top of it?

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

"Here's Looking Down At You!"

amoosefloats September 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Boeing 1040-A

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

The Leveraged Flyout.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Nice.

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

"TSA Bypass"

amoosefloats September 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Air Seamus

CarolinaStewPie September 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

DUMBO (with a cartoon elephant strapped to the roof)

Guppy September 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

"Trickle Down"

Oblios_Cap September 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

My Dreams in Ruins

DangerHelvetica September 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

If it was Herman Cain's, you could call it the LeerJet.

kittensdontlie September 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

The Wrong Flyer(apologies to the Wright bros.)

GenderFenderBender September 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Tax Wright-Off?

HistoriCat September 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Just the right flight.

imissopus September 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I'm seriously being a social media nerd and trying to get a hashtag going on Twitter for this. #mittromneyplanename

PhilippePetain September 13, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I'm in!

imissopus September 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I'm tweeting them @wonkette and @mittromney so perhaps others will pick 'em up and re-tweet them. Welln, not Romney's campaign, but maybe some of Wonkette's followers, who are probably all on here anyway.

frostbitefalls September 14, 2012 at 12:24 am
PhilippePetain September 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

The Spirit of Saint Screw Us

mindo99 September 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Lost in the Clouds One

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Hair Cut One

emmelemm September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Awesome.

Maman September 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Hairgel Express

GenderFenderBender September 13, 2012 at 3:17 pm

EmBainer.

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

The White Star Line.

High Deductible.

Heavenly Deception.

Idiot Mittens.

Heir Supply.

Missionary Position.

Nopantsmcgee September 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Transvaginal

chicken_thief September 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

If it was in stealth mode, name it "Romney's 1040".

But why bother to name it at all since whatever name he picks today, he'll change his mind on 10 times tomorrow?

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

"I’m excited to invite two of my supporters to come on board the plane, and join me for a day on this important journey. I hope you’ll enter for a chance to fly with me."

DON'T DO IT! You'll just have to serve the drinks, clean the lavatories, and wash the plane before takeoff. And there won't be any oxygen masks to drop from the ceiling for you if there is a sudden loss in cabin pressure.

Native_of_SL_UT September 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

2 Right Wings

102415 September 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

All The Way To The Bank

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Needs more parenthetical clauses. (Sweden) , (Cayman Islands), (You people don't need to know).

102415 September 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Maybe just add all the flags and the finger?

Antispandex September 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

"The Plane Talk Express"……too soon?

Comrade Wingtardd September 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

"Money Money Gang Bang"

gingerland62 September 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I don't know what to name it but I'm sure it flies at "just the right height".

emmelemm September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Nice.

KeepFnThatChicken September 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Does the plane have an elevator?

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Not to go all technonerd, but actually, all of them do. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elevator_(aircraft)

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Gorram flip flappers.

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Soylent Creed.

Nopantsmcgee September 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

The Spruce Weasel

qwerty42 September 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

This has got to be evidence he is or has become delusional. Does he plan to lad in DC and demand to be taken to his new home: the White House?
Actually, he must be asking himself why he ever thought he wanted the job.

HempDogbane September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I had a friend die in a plane crash a few weeks ago (single engine, died alone) and I've been silently calling him names ever since, and sometimes aloud. The top choice is "reckless". So I'm going with "Reckless" for Mitt's plane too. And his candidacy. And his policies. And the Republicans. Fuck them all.

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Sorry about your friend, HD.

HempDogbane September 13, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Thanks. Shouldn't have told it, now I'm pissed at him and the world again.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Been there. Dude used to fly an F18, but is now somewhere in a crab south of Kodiak.

sudsmckenzie September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Jet Blew it.

Thurman Munster IV September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

The Mittenburg. Oh, the non-humanity!

gullywompr September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

The Mile High Flub

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"The Titanic"

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Whoops I missed this one already posted on page 1! Sorry!

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

In honor of the upcoming Wachowski "Brothers" film:
"Cloud Asshole"

asmith83 September 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

The Right Height.

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

"Hair Shirt One"?

YasserArraFeck September 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Are you referring to Mitt's magic underwear or to what the rest of us Little People will soon be wearing if Mittens wins?

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

"Willard's Folly"

Eve8Apples September 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Shouldn't the ad read, "BORED WITH MITT?"

foote September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Plane Capital

peatswift September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

RomneyBot 300 accessory model MDD-83

johnnyzhivago September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

The Mitt Zeppelin

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Has "Allah Akbar" been taken?

johnnyzhivago September 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Israeli Air Force 2

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Mittney Tango Foxtrot.

Callyson September 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

And in a related story:

After endorsing the Republican nominee for president in 2000, 2004, and 2008, The Fraternal Order of Police, the nation's largest law enforcement labor union, has declined to endorse Mitt Romney this year.

http://campaigns.dailykos.com/p/dia/action/public

Pres.Beeblebrox September 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

VP-CUM

(Requires a trip to the Source to grok)

Nostrildamus September 13, 2012 at 5:50 pm

TL;DR. Synopsis?

Pres.Beeblebrox September 13, 2012 at 5:56 pm

VP is the Cayman Islands aircraft registration code. CUM, well, because why not.Sent from my iPad

drozman September 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Mayday

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

White Flight.

Jerri September 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"SuperFudge"

Selfish_T September 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Enola Don't Ask Don't Tell

YasserArraFeck September 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm

"Enola Hetero"

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Tail should be festooned with "Bibi is my Co-Pilot" banner.

Slim_Pickins September 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Grand Cayman Air
The Dead Duck

Dudleydidwrong September 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Shitstorm Express

People Depressed Airline

Mormon Kamikaze

barto September 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Flight of Fantasy ok that doesn't quite work…

littlebigdaddy September 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Pander Express?

cousinitt September 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

The Mousse Goose

bobbert September 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Excellent

Barrelhse September 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Airplane! the Movie

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit raiding companies and firing people while making myself millions of dollars.

TheGyrus September 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Diabeetus

equitywolf September 13, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Air Force somewhere between 250 and hald a billion.

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Wonder Bred.

barto September 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I guess, once again, Mitt doesn't understand something. Airplanes aren't usually given "names", other than that of the manufacturer plus some alphanumerical designator.

Thus, "Boring 24/7" might be a good pick.

RancidToeNail September 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

He meant "call sign", but why should he start getting things right now?

Boojum September 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Willard Mitt Romney's Plane.

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Around The World In 80 Lies

415buzzard September 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

"A Dildo For Jen" (Rubin, that is)

Generation[redacted] September 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I christen thee, The Flying WASP.

hagajim September 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Hairball One?

bobbert September 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Dammit

T3rbo September 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Dirty Sanchez

(in honor of Mitt's heritage and all)

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

The Second-Floor Urinal.

Arkoday September 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Mitts-u-bitchy

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Icarus

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 4:10 pm

The KeepDreamingLiner

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 4:14 pm

StratoClueless

e_z September 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm

"The Smirkin' Merkin"

MistaEko September 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

The flying 8.4tress.

/Nate Silver'd

Sue4466 September 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

"I don’t know exactly what our itinerary will be, but if you’re one of the winners — I can tell you it will be exciting."

That's his campaign slogan too, right?

CleverSobriquet September 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Hindenberg

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Credibility Default Swap.

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Vulture Atlantic

ChrisM2011 September 13, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Angel of DEATH.

ffredpalakon September 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

The Willenium Fa(i)l / Con

Cleopatriot September 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm

You People

WhatTheHeck September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

The Hair Clipper.

anniegetyerfun September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I don't know – Hair Force One just about sums it up.

YasserArraFeck September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

"I'M BORED with MITT"?

McPdx September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

JEB 2016

mustangsavvy September 13, 2012 at 4:31 pm

"Pompous Wanker One". With subsequent planes named accordingly.

YasserArraFeck September 13, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Air Force Lost

magic_titty September 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm

My Other Private Jet is Woody Johnson

docterry6973 September 13, 2012 at 4:42 pm

The Flying Doucheman

Titanic

The Vulture

He really should buy a twitter hashtag for this. The results would please him immensely, I am sure.

grex1949 September 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Uranus Probe?

pepperpat September 13, 2012 at 4:44 pm

The Ham-Fisted Belle

tracyhasfun September 13, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Missionary Position 1

tracyhasfun September 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

"Us People"

bibliotequetress September 13, 2012 at 8:32 pm

That's the name of his political party.

carlgt1 September 13, 2012 at 4:58 pm

and once you win and get on the plane Mittens & Antoinette Rmoney will promptly ignore you for the entire trip…..

grex1949 September 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Hot Air Buffoon?

UrBigGirlPants September 13, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Insane in the Bain

Smithboy September 13, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Would the name of the plane that dropped the atomic bomb "Enola Gay" be considered prophetic?

UrBigGirlPants September 13, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Bring the Bain

LibrarianX September 13, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Wiener Mobile

JackObin September 13, 2012 at 5:10 pm

No coffee, tea or me.

Rotundo_ September 13, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Air Farce One?

kingofmeh September 13, 2012 at 5:32 pm

"looks like we're going to need a bigger plane elevator"

bobbert September 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

The Flying Egg?*

* cf old Mork and Mindy episode.

TribecaMike September 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

"Better to be hijacked than to be high."

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Now, that's debateable.

Not_Mother September 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm

"My Blind Trust"

sitkajo September 13, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Spirit of Seamus

Thats the dog he hosed down on the roof of his car on that Natl Lampoon Style vacation.

kingspoit September 13, 2012 at 6:22 pm

THe Pony Express……….. the 77,000 dollar welfare pony express

BoatOfVelociraptors September 13, 2012 at 6:22 pm

My other ride is my family name.

bibliotequetress September 13, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Ding!

red_kira September 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Just Plane Wrong

Plane Kidding

Plane 9 from Outer Space

Plane Scary

Pan Scam

red_kira September 13, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Aerofucked

ProgressiveInga September 13, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Adelson's Folly

red_kira September 13, 2012 at 6:34 pm

The Red Robber Baron

mr bojangles September 13, 2012 at 6:34 pm

suque my koch you mutha fuquing peace of chit!!!! that's my name!!!

red_kira September 13, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Spirit of St. Screw Us

toaster_pastry September 13, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Unforced Air

red_kira September 13, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Fakes on a Plane

red_kira September 13, 2012 at 6:41 pm

The Wright Liar

Barrelhse September 13, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Pepsi Syndrome

Aridzona September 13, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Don't know about Mitt's plane, but didn't Clinton nickname his "The Mile High Club?"

VA_Dreaming September 13, 2012 at 7:07 pm

The Bain of my Existence.

rocktonsam September 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Aeroplain

VA_Dreaming September 13, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Air Farce One

VinnyThePooh September 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Smoking Crater.

TribecaMike September 13, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Con Artist Trail?

Sharkey September 13, 2012 at 8:07 pm

The Flaming Bender

bibliotequetress September 13, 2012 at 8:30 pm

The Flying Fuck

toaster_pastry September 13, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Con Air

fuflans September 13, 2012 at 8:50 pm

as i am very late to this game and just reading the brilliance to mr. fuflans, i will merely add you people seriously rock.

that is all.

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Rmoney's plane is The Hindenberg! Someone probabally beat me to it and that's okay too.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 13, 2012 at 9:20 pm

How about the Magic Underwear Skidmark? Or…the "Derp, Derp, Derp" Express? Or the Hairclipper? Okay, last one: Ask Me Where My Dog Is….it's catchy.

ttommyunger September 13, 2012 at 9:26 pm

"Up, Up, and No-Way"

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 13, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I have one…"the Flying Asshole"

vtxmcrider September 13, 2012 at 10:02 pm

The Kolob Express

AlaskaGrrl September 13, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Condom One

GinnehRED57 September 13, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I was on fire in #NameRomneysPlaneContest but sadly all the real entries have to go through the vile spamwall at the actual Romneybot site. Ugh.

Some awesome potential winners (not mine)

Flyin' Tither
Air Horse One (by @RafalcaRomney

Graham Cracker September 13, 2012 at 10:14 pm

"I Have A Plane And You Don't"
or
"I Have A Plane, But Not A Plan"

VinnyThePooh September 13, 2012 at 10:16 pm

The Wacky Wings of Willard Wetfart.

DannyRyanVagina September 13, 2012 at 11:17 pm

My Little Loophole. Works for the plane and Ann's ladyparts too.

snackypants September 13, 2012 at 11:45 pm

"One Of My Planes"

AtwatersGhost September 14, 2012 at 12:04 am

Magic Underwear

CarolinaStewPie September 14, 2012 at 12:13 am

Hair Force NONE

sbj1964 September 14, 2012 at 12:30 am

Catchy, has possibilities.Mitt can put that in a focus group.He will more than likely like it.Than he will flip,and not like it.His billionaire friends will have to tell him what he thinks.

valthemus September 14, 2012 at 2:54 am

Forget the plane! Do something about the campaign logo.

Favorite description: "Like someone squeezing one of those striped toothpastes out of a tube."

DahBoner September 14, 2012 at 6:05 am

"Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow"

MonkeyBiz September 14, 2012 at 10:45 am

Air Hitler Did Nothing Wrong One.

CheetahCheetah September 14, 2012 at 11:10 am

Con Air.

Mrspanky September 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"The Gitmo Express"

Weenus299 September 14, 2012 at 2:57 pm

A Plane Called Horseshit.

Rhino September 14, 2012 at 3:00 pm
bbarrie21 September 15, 2012 at 3:43 am

Plane Vanilla with Nuts

BeachRose September 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Branding Mitt's Plane: just pick one and don't stick with it

1. Air Plan "we won't tell you where we're going until after we land"

2. Enola Gay Shaver

3. Flip Flop Flap Flyer

4. Offshore Jumper "No you people on board!"

billy_reuben September 16, 2012 at 8:28 am

Rapacious Shitweasel Express

firemetalrat September 16, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Flip Flop 1

labman57 September 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Mitt had better hope that his jet does not suffer the same fate that has befallen his election campaign, lest the aircraft be posthumously known as "Crash and Burn One".

mac_the_mouth September 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Mitt Force None

kissawookiee September 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

It's apparently all italicized.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Thank you. Everyone else seems to think the sun shines out of Clapton's arse.

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