DERRRR  3:25 pm September 13, 2012

Nancy Pelosi Apparently Does Not Care For That Whippersnapper Rep. Paul Ryan

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Original GangstaOh ho ho, Nancy Pelosi! How are you being a hilarious bitch today? Oh, you are “welcoming” back to the hallowed halls of Congress the “intellectual heavyweight” of the Republican Party, Paul Ryan, by cutting together a whole bunch of riotous tape of him being unable to string two words together? That’ll do, Nance. That’ll do quite nicely!

Call us, Madam Leader. We will be your total whores.

[Youtube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 232 comments }

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I'd put out for Nancy Pelosi.

Antispandex September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I'm saving myself in case Rachel Maddow desides to go all "Anne Heche" some day, but I would consider it.

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Hmm… Anne Heche… Rachel Maddow… BRB.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I bet your wife has NO IDEA you're saving yourself for anybody else. In fact, I bet you're chasing her around the furniture as we speak.

guangho September 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I'd chase your wife around the furniture for her…

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I'll let her know. She'll be SO pleased.

Antispandex September 13, 2012 at 3:56 pm

No, no. She says I can totally have a free pass on Rachel or Portia de Rossi, or, Tammy Lynn Michaels or……..hey, wait a minute!

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Figures. Them wimminz be tricky.

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Anne Heche has herpes. Just sayin'

Warwhatgoodfor September 13, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Threesome, foursome, who's keeping count?

Benny September 15, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Hhhmmmmm….Anne Heche…..fuck yea.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I'd pimp you out for her

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Madams. How do they work?

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Wut is it about smart laydeez that gets me right in the old groin-o?

starfanglednut September 13, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Us smart gurlz is hawt !

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Y'awl sure is, dammit.

ThankYouJeebus September 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I'd like to put out in the form of a vote, but I'm 2 blocks away from her district.
I'm honored and proud to vote for Jackie Speier instead.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 6:17 pm

There's another FINE, fine lady.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Boojum September 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I'm saving myself for Our Editrix, but if Trixie asked, I would totally be Nancy Pelosi's bitch.

orygoon September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I always hated those serious brown-nosed kids with big ears. Also, I swoon pretty often for Nancy P!

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I waver back and forth between liking her incredible political smarts and admiring her loyalty to progressive causes (and the fine balance she has to strike between the two), and being really pissed at her for striking that balance.

And then just plain ol' crushing on her 'cause she is smart, savvy, and hardworking as hell.

orygoon September 13, 2012 at 3:51 pm

SIBLING! You don't call, you don't write, and I, um, don't either? XOXO, though!

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

(Hugs you) You see why I keep coming back here? YOU SEEEEEEE???

Antispandex September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"….him being unable to string two words together? "

It worked for Dubya. Just sayin'.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Of course, the alt-text above should be, "Gimme some sugar."

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Oh, yeah, like if Barack said that to you, you'd be all, "No way, man, I ain't gay."

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I am your neighbor. Is it uncool to still like that song, Hey ya? Was it uncool to ever like it?

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I thought Chet was referencing Bruce Campbell, not some song. Can I get my upfist back?

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

No, he wasn't referencing that particular song. Its a common expression for "hey, come here and fuck me" in parts of the US.

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Probably not amongst diabetics, though…

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Well, if you're a little kid and have a grabby old aunt who likes the PDAs, you'll hear it, too! It's not all about fuckin'. Just a good deal of it.

Warwhatgoodfor September 13, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Well, yeah. Guy – "hey bi*ch, gimmie some sugar". Girl – "'when hell freezes over, dickhead. FOAD". At least that's the answer I always got. Maybe I didn't sound southern enough. Or not enough grease in my hair and no can of Skoal in my back pocket.

AlterNewt September 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

"Call us, Madam Leader. We will be your total whores"

DAMMIT! My Nancy Pelosi costume is at the cleaners.

An Asexual Ungulate September 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Just put an old leather handbag on your face and borrow someone's pearls?

I kid, I kid! I'd totally get me some well aged Californian representative.

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Is that photo really that grainy or is there Vaseline on the camera lens?

Lascauxcaveman September 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Just all the steam in that room.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Thats called the "Cybil Shepherd lens."

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Bestowed by the inimitable Miss Barbara Stanwyck?

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

You must be older than me! Ce'st impossible!

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 4:36 pm

53. But in dog years.

Negropolis September 14, 2012 at 2:49 am

I remember it as the Baba WaWa lens.

RRoccoco September 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

We need a real Nancy holding the Speaker's gavel, not some too tanned nancy-boy.

chicken_thief September 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Now yer gonna make Boner cry dammit!

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Ears and tail to RRoccoco!

SorosBot September 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Oh that would be so nice, please make it so again.

iamrrm September 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm

What he said!

smitallica September 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Hmm. You think it's cuz he's a petulant little dick who's not nearly as smart as he thinks he is, mebbe?

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

He's not very smart at all, just a good bullshit artist. When you actually have to deal with real policy shit, you have to have the exact numbers at your fingertips. You NEVER walk into a meeting, any meeting, without knowing your stuff backwards and forwards, down to the page number and line cites, and a stack of papers to back you up. Or at least some smart minions schlepping a stack of papers behind you.

He's supposed to be the Republicans' No. 1 policy wonk. He can't say he doesn't have the numbers or hasn't done the calculations.

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 4:41 pm

"He can't say he doesn't have the numbers or hasn't done the calculations."

Oh, yeah he can. He can lie about all kinds of shit.

BerkeleyBear September 13, 2012 at 5:07 pm

There's evidence that when he's in one of the quiet rooms Mitt is so fond of he does have numbers. He just knows they are so ugly that he can't bring them out in daylight.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

You're quite right.

I SHOULD have said, "He can't GET AWAY with saying, etc." Or, at least, he can't get away with it any more. After those two lies about his athletic prowess, nobody believes anything he says any more.

OldWhiteLies September 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Indeed. And you are too kind.

No really, WAY too kind. May I?

… cuz he's a misogynistic, self-indulgent, smug, smarmy, megalomaniacal, bitchy little FUCK who lacks nearly all the credentials necessary to be tagged as human, and who's not nearly …

Sorry, lately I've been getting all HULK SMASH every time I lay eyes on that mf. He seems to illicit far more emotional response than does rMoney now. I shall attempt to regain my composure. Please do carry on …

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Getting closer, but still too kind.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Wut Sully sed.

OldWhiteLies September 13, 2012 at 4:04 pm

After wiping off the explosion of spittle from my screen and rereading my effort, I fear I must concur, Gentlepersons. But perhaps it is best not to dwell further on this loathsome smear's reality. Tis time for the midday meal, and methinks a Paddington Station (sammich) and a cupla Guiness at yonder Whistle Stop pub are the best next course of action. I'd ask you both to join, on me, if were not we all logistically challenged …

Sivart_R1 September 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

OWL, are you proposing a drinkup Renton? I might be able to make it down the hill for that…

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Bon appetit, my friend!

pdiddycornchips September 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Republicans are about to learn that "smart enough to fool the base" doesn't mean "smart enough to fool the electorate". Ryan's plan doesn't balance the budget until 2027. It's built on assumptions that aren't specified. It's a Republican wet dream and a national nightmare. I have never been much of a Hopey fan but this fucker isn't just dumb, he's evil. Anyone that votes for these two douchebags that doesn't have an eight digit portfolio at a hedge fund is just not paying attention.

Lot_49 September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

2027…that might be too soon, even with a Magic Asterisk's worth of growth. Better make it 3037, just to be safe. Cuz Congress today can't vote to make Future Congress do anything. For example, defense cuts in the Great Sequester, which those Republicans started to weasel renege on just minutes after they voted for them. Buncha damn reneggers…

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

You left out spoiled. Just like Rmoney is a rich, spoiled, prep-school bully.

ChernobylSoup September 13, 2012 at 3:31 pm

On behalf of Generation X, I would like to apologize for Paul Ryan. Nobody expected anything out of our generation and he's a living example of why that is.

Oh, and Pelosi is hot.

Incitefully_Joe September 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm

It's alright. Everyone's pretty openly banking on our generation cleaning up your mess! And all of the other messes, too! Unfortunately, we're all unemployed.

LesBontemps September 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm

As a boomer, I thank you both for your service. And by service I mean your Social Security and Medicare tax munnies, which I am going to eat.

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Me too. Or, nom nom nom, as you youngsters would say.

Incitefully_Joe September 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm

We say that because of the Cookie Monster, since we grew up with Sesame Street, because we still had PBS. Sure sucks for the people who come after us!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm

If only Ryan was a true X-er, then he would be to busy sulking in his basement listening to emo to do any damage.

johnnyzhivago September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I hear Ryan is in SERIOUS trouble in his congressional race too…

ChernobylSoup September 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Don't tease me. Links?

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Oh, that would be icing on the cake!!

BoroPrimorac September 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I'd be fine if Bachmann, West and a few other baggers lost their seats, but I'd be over the fucking moon if this smarmy prick gets beaten.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Then you'll be happy to hear that Bachmann is in serious trouble. I believe she's lost the Independent vote in her (newly-redistricted) district by over 50%, and she's running barely 2 points ahead of her challenger and sinking. Her challenger is a bright-eyed young Democrat named Jim Graves. He's smart, sensible, and … sane.

chicken_thief September 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I did see a headline where he recently pumped $2M into his congressional re-election campaign. Just to cover the bases, I guess….

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Yesterday or day before, just as Mott Rim-me was HULK SMASH-ing his chance at the Presidency to flinders. A sign, you think?

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

What's the guy got to fall back on. Driving the Weinermobile? Showing his weiner for cash?

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

P-90X Burlesque Act.

BornInATrailer September 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

My mouth. It's full of puke.

BoroPrimorac September 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

How can he do P90X if his back's all fucked up?

102415 September 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Rob Zerban. Mail him some moniez. Now.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm

No, this ^^^ is NOT my sock puppet account. Just proves that Great Minds Think Alike.

Yeah, OK, it could be Small Minds Seldom Differ. I'm not bragging or nuthin.

102415 September 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Hive mind is buzzing! If we can get West in FL sent home it will be the Trifecta.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Yes! YES! (hugs you, dances around in gimpy circle)

This election has me so fucking jazzed. West is losing it, you know he's about ready to blow up.

finallyhappy September 13, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I did – from the same paypal acct I sent to the pizza guy foundation and the Wonkette drinky things. I only have money there when I answer surveys and I get paid money in $5 or $10 increments(but I don't earn it in those increments- like $.50 or $1 ) I better answer more surveys starting today.

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Just did. Here's the link to donate – https://secure.actblue.com/contribute/page/homepa

slithytoves September 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I read that somewhere too, can't remember where. Thought it would hysterical if he lost the VEEP bid AND his seat. So long bright future!

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

This is what I am fervently hoping for. I suspect that, like Thaddeus McCotter, recent Republican candidate for POTUS, one or more of these scalawags won their position by illegal activities including suppressing the vote. It's time to call them to account. Ryan losing his seat would be the start of that.

So watch out, folks. They know they're losing, and they will fight like cornered wolverines. Go to the polls in groups, designate a cameraperson, and make sure you check your state's ID requirements, etc. OFA has the information you need to ensure that you CAN vote. Do it early.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Yup. Challenger @RobZerban looking good, and he needs your help at robzerban.com, if you're in Wisconsin, or just, you know, have munniez lying around that you need to get rid of.

Estproph September 13, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Oh pleasepleaseplease…

starfanglednut September 13, 2012 at 10:44 pm
Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Bachmann's in trouble too. Apparently crazy only goes so far.

102415 September 13, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Jim Graves! Send him some moniez too!

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

You're right. You, me, orygoon. We MUST be related.

102415 September 13, 2012 at 4:36 pm
emmelemm September 13, 2012 at 5:34 pm

In bed.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

emmelemm September 13, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Well, I'll put you on the mailing list, but I have to warn you that the pictures are only in black and white.

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Oh you!!

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Dare we hope that November will be Mittmass for us all? I'll trade that Audoban DVD of songbirds I've been asking for and take a Republic Party drubbing instead. Plus, more people will enjoy the latter.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Oh, hell to the yeah. I'm'a get some champagne.

Nothingisamiss September 15, 2012 at 12:52 pm

MIttBorg if YOU'RE thinking about champagne, I need to cheer the heck up and (tentatively, so as not to jinx us) get my Mittmas plans together.

MittBorg September 15, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Geeze, am I such a sad sack, hon? I'm sorry if I've been an asshole. I do get awfully excitable around election time, don't I?

It's looking good, though. Obama's much closer to the 270 electoral votes needed than Mitt, and Mitt continues to slip in the crucial swing states. Merry Mittmas!

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 11:19 pm

And I'll trade the Butte Heritage Cookbook I have on my Christmas list – http://www.shopatthreedogdown.com/index.php?targe… for a Republicon drubbing of historical and Biblical proportions.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Needs moar John Sebastian

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Give ol' Nancy yer Lovin' Spoonful, eh?

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

See?! All the incivility is coming from the Democrats!!1!

Shypixel September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Don't you mean Demon-crats?

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

That pic at top: "Guess Who's Coming to the State Dinner"?

HistoriCat September 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Guess Who's Coming to at the State Dinner.

Fixed that for you.

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Nancy can't find a place in her heart for little Pauly.Which is easy for her since she doesn't have a heart.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I don't always agree with Nancy Pelosi, and I don't always like her, either. But she is basically a good and decent person, and I would prefer you did not attack her character. Please stick to her politics. And remember that she's held her seat for years with a 92% approval rating from her constituents, which is a damn sight better than you can say for most other Representatives.

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

She is a career Politician,and a party demigod.Having a heart would just be a drag on her soul if she had one of those either.92% approval rate in congress when they as a whole single digits that would be amazing. Where did you pull that number out of?Hmm,Let me guess.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Obviously, the only thing you know about Nancy Pelosi is what you pull out of your favourite place. And no, I wouldn't reach in there, not even to retrieve numbers that would support my case. Since you're THAT fucking ignorant, let me be the first to tell you: there is a thing called google. And even you can get your twisty stubby ancient fingers out of your ass long enough to query it. It is a search engine. It will show you such arcane and recondite information as politicians' approval ratings in their own districts.

What a stupid fucking lout.

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 6:07 pm

So in short you have nothing?That's what I thought.92% of the time people just make up statistics.See I can do it also.Nancy's real approval rating however according to Rasmussen is 60% disapproval,and 40% of that strong disapproval in her district likely voters.Next time cite a source.Anyone can google the facts for themselves.Without you pulling numbers out of your ASS! What a Douche.PS Have you ever considered being a Fact checker at Fox News? You would fit right in.

Boojum September 13, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Putting aside the 92% — which is actually an ACLU approval rating for Nancy — Her approval rating is so high in her district as to be meaningless.

Pelosi represents one of the safest Democratic districts in the country. Democrats have held the seat since 1949 and Republicans, who currently make up only 13 percent of registered voters in the district, have not made a serious bid for the seat since the early 1960s. She won the seat in her own right in 1988 and has been reelected 10 more times with no substantive opposition, winning by an average of 80 percent of the vote. She has not participated in candidates' debates since her 1987 race against Harriet Ross. The strongest challenge Pelosi has faced was in 2008 when anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan polled 17% and Pelosi won with 72%.

So, you slipped a digit and said 92 meaning 72 or confused ACLU approval for voter approval, who cares? She's winning. We take the House, Editrix is going to call me from the hinterlands to play bitch for Queen Nancy, because she will be talking all kinds of shit on behalf of the House. I will be lying down as rug monster for two sexy powerful ladies and you wonder at my motives? Cry Have Me, and Let Slip the Dogs of Porn!

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Remember, this is a district that gave John Kerry 84.2% of the vote.

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Is it wrong to call Bullshit when someone is Lying?Notice the anger when you confront them.They resort to personal attacks.I thought better of Mitt Borg.He should have just admitted he was bullshitting.That I can understand from an ideologue.

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Also, too, when Nancy Pelosi was Speaker of the House their approval rating was in the 40% range; with Boehner it's 10% and falling.

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I read an article about her in Time, or something, when she was elected Speaker. Yeah, she's arrogant and rude to the little people, but she's also engaged personally with the members of her caucus and tends to them like, well, like a grandmother from a teevee sitcom. Also, she can keep Democrats disciplined like no one has since LBJ was free to spread govt largesse, or take it away, from any damn congressman he chose.

SayItWithWookies September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Nancy's a mean little bitch. And I'm getting tingly.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

My! I like this woman!

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Sez Prommie, Wielder of the Shiv of Snark. Of course you do.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I have missed you. Not like that, Mongo straight, but still, glad you have returned.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Yeah, I've missed you too, and don't worry, your ass is safe from me.

Boojum September 14, 2012 at 10:04 am

Prommie's ass wird versprochie.

Baconzgood September 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Paul Ryan is a stupid liar.

In other news: Rain is wet.

Goonemeritus September 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I think Democrats have decided losing elections is less fun then winning.

oenspiek September 13, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Well, it's about effing time!

Boojum September 13, 2012 at 11:21 pm

I think we have finally decided that it is OK not to make their points for them, when they were too incompetent.

Callyson September 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

"Don't voters have a right to know which loopholes you're going to go after?"

(Gulp, fear in eyes…)

CrunchyKnee September 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I would really like to punch that smug fuck right in his Eddie Munster looking grill.

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

He could probably outrun you, though, with your fucked-up knee and his Kenyan-like marathon times and all.

FNMA September 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

No, aim for the scrotum.

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Indeed. If anyone needed a good cockpunch, it's Paul Ryan.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Metaphorically of course what with him being a secret-service protected nominee for VP of the US.

Cleopatriot September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm

THANK YOU! I was wondering what old tv character he reminded me of.

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 4:52 pm

With votes, of course.

ChillBill September 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

She's my favorite heartless whore. I'd let her be my Jaguar any day.

emmelemm September 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Whither the Nancy Pelosi lizard-tongue .GIF? That was one of my all-time favorites.

comrad_darkness September 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Sorry, the republicans know how to "get things done" in the senate? Aye karumba!

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

If by "get things done" they mean "make sure nothing gets done", then yeah.

Tequila Mockingbird September 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

A 42-year-old man being referred to as a "young gun" is exactly why I loathe the GOP.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Oh, well, I guess I am fucking methuselah. You know, 50 is not the fucking end of the world.

Lot_49 September 13, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Yes it was.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Shit, man, it was when I finally came out of my shell!

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Whoopsie. I am now following you. Or your window, at least. Hey, just read your profile and I like it so I did the above on purpose. You're welcome.

As a 64 year Old, I caution you to appreciate any short term memory circuits that work and be grateful for your knees if you ever walk up stairs. After 50, it's surprising how fast they go. I was getting high in college just yesterday, and now I'm getting high in AARP land.

Lot_49 September 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Me too really. Just said the gloomy stuff for comedic effect, however paltry. My life got really good when I was about 55. Here are two things that helped: (1) a good head of gray hair, and (2) making some real money, finally.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Obama and Kennedy were both thought of as "young" in relative, generational terms when they first ran for President. Not to mention Clinton vs. HW or Bob Dole. There are a lot more significant things to loathe the GOP over.

freddymcmurray September 13, 2012 at 9:40 pm

well, when you've got to be 35 to be prez, 42 isn't exactly geezer yet.

Terry September 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Remember that Nancy represents San Francisco now, but she's from Baltimore. Her father was Thomas D'Alesandro, Jr., a U.S. Congressman from Maryland and a Mayor of Baltimore. Her brother, Thomas D'Alesandro III, was also Mayor of Baltimore. She grew up seeing politics that was red in tooth and nail.

Lot_49 September 13, 2012 at 4:37 pm

My ex was a staunch Republican but met Nancy at a fund-raiser years ago and came away charmed.

SorosBot September 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I just wish the rest of the Democratic Congresspeople had Nancy's guts instead of the large numbers of spineless milquetoasts and blue dogs we're stuck with.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Reid's been kinda ballsy lately. And the convention showed a new attitude across the board.

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Reid's never lacked a pair. It's his ideological position well into the right half of the Democratic big tent that's the issue, not "toughness".

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Mining interests, anyone?

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Nance has never won her district by LESS than 80%. It makes a real difference knowing that your constituents are solidly behind you. I'm sure you've done political organizing work, and you know how difficult it is to get groups of people with very different motives and interests to agree to anything. Hell, it's difficult to get them to fucking agree even when they're on the same side.

The Republican Lockstep March is impressive in terms of beating others down, but it fails at democracy, coalition-building, and effective management of important issues over time. You can't sustain the hard work needed to build anything by invoking a constant state of rage. This is why politics is so hard. It's constant effort.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are rounding nicely into that too-frank old couple on the cruise ship who like to scandalize younger folks by blurting out details of their love life.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I know another couple that does that shit, too. They're not that old, though.

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 5:02 pm

I would never!!! (That would mean disclosing the Old Man's porn surfing, which would embarrass him. )

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I know what you mean, every once in a while the wife has to let me know she knows I wasn't just looking at Talking Points Memo all night.

Oblios_Cap September 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

With a name like Pelosi, you just know she'll have Ryan will be sleeping with the fishes by the end of the week.

FakaktaSouth September 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Oh hell yeah he returned to vote on still getting paid. He says statutory and all I can think of is that guy with the swingset. And I don't think if I were Pauly Fucknuts I would want to be the guy who has "carried the House Republican Budget."
Cut him Nancy. I wish I could vote for her.

I will now have that damned Welcome Back Kotter song stuck in my head all day.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

"Cut him, Nancy!" I am seeing a scene from some '50s troubled teen rumble movie, as re-imagined by John Waters. Such is your fakakta genius.

FakaktaSouth September 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

How cute is that top picture of Nance and PresO? I want that as a magnet on my fridge. So great!

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Do you know Pearl Jam's "Wish List?" Just something about fridge magnets made me remember that.

FakaktaSouth September 13, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I do know this song, and you have already yelled at me for ruining that song, so I am glad you don't remember. Good good good.

Boojum September 13, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Prommie, where are you based?

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Amazon Premium's free streaming video collection is chock full of drive-in faire such as you describe, Reform School Girls From Hell and such things. YOu would love.

FakaktaSouth September 13, 2012 at 4:22 pm

YOU would know this.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Yes, my secret kink is old black and white drive-in sexploitation movies! Curses, you have uncovered my darkest secret.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I'll have a young Natalie Wood please, either as James Dean's moll or as a fake Puerto Rican fake singing in a tenement in NYC!

102415 September 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Nancy, your daddy would be proud. lol

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Arizona libel!

ChrisM2011 September 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Ryan looks like an extremely hungover grownup version of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid kid

drrty_martini September 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm

When asked a direct question, he always seems genuinely shocked. I expect him to break down at any moment and say "b-b-but I'm considered HOT for DC!"

Pap Finn September 13, 2012 at 3:54 pm

A sizzling GILF with a razor in her boot. I'd drink her bath water.

BaldarTFlagass September 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

He's stealing my motif!

Jus_Wonderin September 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

You should have trademarked that groping thing.

StillGoinGreen September 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm

"QUIT LAUGHING AT MY EARS!!!!"

Ryan exits quickly – stage left

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 13, 2012 at 4:22 pm

At least Ryan's failure should be extreme enough
To be worthy of being chronicled in an anthem by Rush!

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Such pompous Dicks!

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:10 pm

They were misguided in their youth, but matured. (Not that I'd spend any money on 'em.)

Lot_49 September 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

That was really the low point in his career. The first few Lovin' Spoonful albums were wonderful…"Summer in the City", "Daydream," etc.

fuflans September 13, 2012 at 4:36 pm

i do not understand why ryan is considered such a wunderkind.

it's just recycled libertarian bullshit searching for a budget plan and reality

Steverino247 September 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Exactly!

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Kind of like the Alien Symbiote with Peter Parker in its sticky, black clutches.

Negropolis September 14, 2012 at 3:00 am

But, is eyes, they're so blue.

Honestly, it's as shallow as that. The Republican Party is kind of infamous for propping up people because they are deemed telegentic enough to go on the weekened talk shows.

Toomush_Infer September 14, 2012 at 9:27 am

Um, this explains Mitt in his entirety….

DahBoner September 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Welcome back, indeed!

This guy makes Vinny look like a fooking genius…

DustBowlBlues September 13, 2012 at 5:08 pm

He really looks and acts like the smart-aleck asshole, with no sense of humor, who cheated to be elected president of Student Council (threatened sponsor that his poweerful father was going to call in his bank loan) then boasts how his "brains" beat the popular kid he ran against.

UrBigGirlPants September 13, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Every time I hear this "secret plan" line I think of the West Wing episode with the "secret plan to fight inflation."

TribecaMike September 13, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Ryan's face has "I am not worthy of licking Dan Quayle's potatoe" written all over it.

LibrarianX September 13, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Spank him

Aridzona September 13, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Kinda fun watching little Paulie trying to pick fly shit out of pepper with his answers.

MinAgain September 13, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I had no idea that Nancy Pelosi was a Mean Girl.

Boojum September 14, 2012 at 10:09 am

No, no, Nancy is a Mean Woman. She is all grown up.

She WILL cut a bitch, but now she does it with votes.

Warwhatgoodfor September 13, 2012 at 7:24 pm

I am ready to bet all cummers $10,000 that I can accurately guess what each them is thinking. And, if anybody is such a pr* ck as to insinuate the picture is photoshopped, I know people who know people who reportedly knew prominent members of the Gambino family, assuming any of them are still alive/not doing life in Sing Sing. Not that I would advocate violence of any sort. Ever.

Boojum September 13, 2012 at 11:35 pm

I was engaged to a woman whose grandfather's father was a bigamist. One family was active Gambino. The other (my ex-fiancé's) was fairly legit, merely doing plumbing work for Mr. Gotti.

rocktonsam September 13, 2012 at 7:34 pm

really Nance, don't help right now, Barry has enough to deal with

TribecaMike September 13, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Expecting Paul Ryan to be consistent is like expecting Barbara Boxer not to change her hairdo every three weeks.

ttommyunger September 13, 2012 at 9:28 pm

All I can say is, I'd like to make Nancy cum so hard she'd have to pull the sheets out of her butt-crack afterwards.

starfanglednut September 13, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Wow!

ttommyunger September 13, 2012 at 11:21 pm

To put it nicely: I likes her.

Robman2 September 13, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Nancy, I will volunteer to polish your balls, they are bigger than any other elected officials, and because your a girl, it won't go too gay.

Negropolis September 14, 2012 at 2:42 am

Yes, children, Nasty Pelosi will cut a bitch if she has to.

Now, if only she can make Boehner cry come November…we're working on it, Speaker.

MadBrahms September 14, 2012 at 2:55 am

Nancy's pretty much the best, but let's not short the love for Paul Krugman and his "magic asterisk". Great way to close a video.

Boojum September 14, 2012 at 10:13 am

Paul Krugman is like the Gandalf of economics, telling everybody what shit is true and not to believe the bullshit. Obama should name Bill Clinton Secretary of 'Splainin' Stuff and Paul Krugman Grand High Wizard of Money.

gurukalehuru September 14, 2012 at 5:57 am

Oh, sure, mocking Paul Ryan is easy. But never forget that Nancy Pelosi is the reason George Bush wasn't impeached.
She had her shot at greatness, and she threw it away. Fuck Nancy Pelosi.

sullivanst September 14, 2012 at 8:43 am

And the odds of achieving the 67 Senate votes necessary for conviction were?

So, she blew her chance at making a highly divisive political statement with no chance of ever turning into concrete action. Boo fucking hoo.

MozakiBlocks September 14, 2012 at 11:32 am

I have a good friend whose worked in Dem. politics for a long time says that the one person he's "afraid of" is Nancy Pelosi.

I can see why.

Thunderclees September 14, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I need a GIF of Nancy Pelosi dropping a mic and walking offstage.

usuhname September 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm

HOW DARE Nancy call the Republicans out on having no clue whatsoever how to manage a country, and their habit of dramatically increasing deficits. Bitch.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Was I drugged? I am glad I don't remember, too; whatever it was, don't tell me again.

FakaktaSouth September 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

You hush before I start making fun of your girlie Gene Kelly thing. "manly dancing" – whatever. AND no you were not DRUGGED, good lord, I just hurt your feelings because you were being all positive and I made fun of you, because it it is sometimes funny for a typical crank to get jubilant.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm

It'd take more than some joshing to ruin a song for me. Anyway, fridge magnets are like bluebird nightlights, no? And sentimental ornaments? Except they click.

Dr_Zoidberg September 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Hey, can I get in on this action?

prommie September 13, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I got one of those anyway.

prommie September 13, 2012 at 5:10 pm

My right knee just recently attained a state of total fuckedness, unfortunately.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Everybody wants the wife, nobody wants me.

I'm'a just sit here in the corner and pout, OK? Y'all have a gay old time.

Dr_Zoidberg September 13, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Awww….what if I flash you? Will that make you feel better?

starfanglednut September 13, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Aww, Z. You know I love you.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Dooo-ooood.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Folks of a certain age! Let's get together and circle the items in the Walgreen's circular we can buy with our Flexible Spending Accounts.

Chet Kincaid_ September 13, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Better learn how to do neighborhood puppet shows for your brats, because electric service will not be guaranteed!

sullivanst September 13, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Nancy's real approval rating however according to Rasmussen is 60% disapproval,and 40% of that strong disapproval in her district likely voters.

Wait, now who's pulling numbers out their ass? Latest Ras NATIONAL survey has Nancy at 59% disapprove, 46% strongly.

NATIONAL not district.

World Nut Daily commissioned a poll in her district last cycle, at the acme of the nationwide GOP campaign of hate against her, and she hit 64.3% favorables then.

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Really?Still nowhere near 93% by any poll anywhere.Nice try.And the poll I'm citing is in ref. to MB assertions of her supporters (Likely voters)not a National survey.Apples,and oranges lets try to stay focused.Thank you for just proving my point.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Thank you. You know I love you too, right?

Let's you and me go sit in the corner and ignore these leches.

starfanglednut September 13, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Yay! Wanna cuddle on the couch and watch a movie?

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Yeah. You pick the flick.

Boojum September 13, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Sometimes we make mistakes that are meaningless in the broader context, such that it is considered inconsiderate to point them out, because it distracts from a larger issue. This is one such occasion. Whereas relying on Fox News nationwide polls to make some kind of point was just a dick move.

sbj1964 September 13, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Never claimed she was in danger of losing her seat.San Francisco Dem's still will vote for her.The 92% approval rate is just bogus.And no matter how you try to muddy the waters that's just reality.The core of our dispute is just making up bullshit lies(Stats) to further ones political agenda.You know like the GOP.We should be better than that.If MB had a single shred of proof for his ridiculous claims he would have done so.But alas nothing.Thanks for playing the game.PS, I'm a big fan of yours keep them laughing.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 14, 2012 at 2:47 am

Are they grainy? Unless they are grainy, I won't be sure if they are authentic.

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