derrrr

Nancy Pelosi Apparently Does Not Care For That Whippersnapper Rep. Paul Ryan

Original GangstaOh ho ho, Nancy Pelosi! How are you being a hilarious bitch today? Oh, you are “welcoming” back to the hallowed halls of Congress the “intellectual heavyweight” of the Republican Party, Paul Ryan, by cutting together a whole bunch of riotous tape of him being unable to string two words together? That’ll do, Nance. That’ll do quite nicely!

Call us, Madam Leader. We will be your total whores.

[Youtube]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • sullivanst

    I'd put out for Nancy Pelosi.

    • Antispandex

      I'm saving myself in case Rachel Maddow desides to go all "Anne Heche" some day, but I would consider it.

      • sullivanst

        Hmm… Anne Heche… Rachel Maddow… BRB.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I bet your wife has NO IDEA you're saving yourself for anybody else. In fact, I bet you're chasing her around the furniture as we speak.

        • guangho

          I'd chase your wife around the furniture for her…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'll let her know. She'll be SO pleased.

          • Dr_Zoidberg

            Hey, can I get in on this action?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Everybody wants the wife, nobody wants me.

            I'm'a just sit here in the corner and pout, OK? Y'all have a gay old time.

          • Dr_Zoidberg

            Awww….what if I flash you? Will that make you feel better?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Dooo-ooood.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Aww, Z. You know I love you.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thank you. You know I love you too, right?

            Let's you and me go sit in the corner and ignore these leches.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Yay! Wanna cuddle on the couch and watch a movie?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Yeah. You pick the flick.

        • Antispandex

          No, no. She says I can totally have a free pass on Rachel or Portia de Rossi, or, Tammy Lynn Michaels or……..hey, wait a minute!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Figures. Them wimminz be tricky.

      • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

        Anne Heche has herpes. Just sayin'

      • Warwhatgoodfor

        Threesome, foursome, who's keeping count?

      • Benny

        Hhhmmmmm….Anne Heche…..fuck yea.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I'd pimp you out for her

      • sullivanst

        Madams. How do they work?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Wut is it about smart laydeez that gets me right in the old groin-o?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Us smart gurlz is hawt !

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Y'awl sure is, dammit.

    • ThankYouJeebus

      I'd like to put out in the form of a vote, but I'm 2 blocks away from her district.
      I'm honored and proud to vote for Jackie Speier instead.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        There's another FINE, fine lady.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

    • Boojum

      I'm saving myself for Our Editrix, but if Trixie asked, I would totally be Nancy Pelosi's bitch.

  • orygoon

    I always hated those serious brown-nosed kids with big ears. Also, I swoon pretty often for Nancy P!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I waver back and forth between liking her incredible political smarts and admiring her loyalty to progressive causes (and the fine balance she has to strike between the two), and being really pissed at her for striking that balance.

      And then just plain ol' crushing on her 'cause she is smart, savvy, and hardworking as hell.

      • orygoon

        SIBLING! You don't call, you don't write, and I, um, don't either? XOXO, though!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          (Hugs you) You see why I keep coming back here? YOU SEEEEEEE???

  • Antispandex

    "….him being unable to string two words together? "

    It worked for Dubya. Just sayin'.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Of course, the alt-text above should be, "Gimme some sugar."

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh, yeah, like if Barack said that to you, you'd be all, "No way, man, I ain't gay."

    • prommie

      I am your neighbor. Is it uncool to still like that song, Hey ya? Was it uncool to ever like it?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I thought Chet was referencing Bruce Campbell, not some song. Can I get my upfist back?

        • prommie

          No, he wasn't referencing that particular song. Its a common expression for "hey, come here and fuck me" in parts of the US.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Probably not amongst diabetics, though…

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Well, if you're a little kid and have a grabby old aunt who likes the PDAs, you'll hear it, too! It's not all about fuckin'. Just a good deal of it.

          • Warwhatgoodfor

            Well, yeah. Guy – "hey bi*ch, gimmie some sugar". Girl – "'when hell freezes over, dickhead. FOAD". At least that's the answer I always got. Maybe I didn't sound southern enough. Or not enough grease in my hair and no can of Skoal in my back pocket.

  • AlterNewt

    "Call us, Madam Leader. We will be your total whores"

    DAMMIT! My Nancy Pelosi costume is at the cleaners.

    • An Asexual Ungulate

      Just put an old leather handbag on your face and borrow someone's pearls?

      I kid, I kid! I'd totally get me some well aged Californian representative.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Is that photo really that grainy or is there Vaseline on the camera lens?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Just all the steam in that room.

    • prommie

      Thats called the "Cybil Shepherd lens."

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Bestowed by the inimitable Miss Barbara Stanwyck?

        • prommie

          You must be older than me! Ce'st impossible!

          • Jus_Wonderin

            53. But in dog years.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Folks of a certain age! Let's get together and circle the items in the Walgreen's circular we can buy with our Flexible Spending Accounts.

      • Negropolis

        I remember it as the Baba WaWa lens.

  • RRoccoco

    We need a real Nancy holding the Speaker's gavel, not some too tanned nancy-boy.

    • chicken_thief

      Now yer gonna make Boner cry dammit!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Ears and tail to RRoccoco!

    • SorosBot

      Oh that would be so nice, please make it so again.

    • iamrrm

      What he said!

  • smitallica

    Hmm. You think it's cuz he's a petulant little dick who's not nearly as smart as he thinks he is, mebbe?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      He's not very smart at all, just a good bullshit artist. When you actually have to deal with real policy shit, you have to have the exact numbers at your fingertips. You NEVER walk into a meeting, any meeting, without knowing your stuff backwards and forwards, down to the page number and line cites, and a stack of papers to back you up. Or at least some smart minions schlepping a stack of papers behind you.

      He's supposed to be the Republicans' No. 1 policy wonk. He can't say he doesn't have the numbers or hasn't done the calculations.

      • DustBowlBlues

        "He can't say he doesn't have the numbers or hasn't done the calculations."

        Oh, yeah he can. He can lie about all kinds of shit.

        • BerkeleyBear

          There's evidence that when he's in one of the quiet rooms Mitt is so fond of he does have numbers. He just knows they are so ugly that he can't bring them out in daylight.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          You're quite right.

          I SHOULD have said, "He can't GET AWAY with saying, etc." Or, at least, he can't get away with it any more. After those two lies about his athletic prowess, nobody believes anything he says any more.

    • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

      Indeed. And you are too kind.

      No really, WAY too kind. May I?

      … cuz he's a misogynistic, self-indulgent, smug, smarmy, megalomaniacal, bitchy little FUCK who lacks nearly all the credentials necessary to be tagged as human, and who's not nearly …

      Sorry, lately I've been getting all HULK SMASH every time I lay eyes on that mf. He seems to illicit far more emotional response than does rMoney now. I shall attempt to regain my composure. Please do carry on …

      • sullivanst

        Getting closer, but still too kind.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Wut Sully sed.

        • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

          After wiping off the explosion of spittle from my screen and rereading my effort, I fear I must concur, Gentlepersons. But perhaps it is best not to dwell further on this loathsome smear's reality. Tis time for the midday meal, and methinks a Paddington Station (sammich) and a cupla Guiness at yonder Whistle Stop pub are the best next course of action. I'd ask you both to join, on me, if were not we all logistically challenged …

          • Sivart_R1

            OWL, are you proposing a drinkup Renton? I might be able to make it down the hill for that…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Bon appetit, my friend!

    • pdiddycornchips

      Republicans are about to learn that "smart enough to fool the base" doesn't mean "smart enough to fool the electorate". Ryan's plan doesn't balance the budget until 2027. It's built on assumptions that aren't specified. It's a Republican wet dream and a national nightmare. I have never been much of a Hopey fan but this fucker isn't just dumb, he's evil. Anyone that votes for these two douchebags that doesn't have an eight digit portfolio at a hedge fund is just not paying attention.

      • Lot_49

        2027…that might be too soon, even with a Magic Asterisk's worth of growth. Better make it 3037, just to be safe. Cuz Congress today can't vote to make Future Congress do anything. For example, defense cuts in the Great Sequester, which those Republicans started to weasel renege on just minutes after they voted for them. Buncha damn reneggers…

    • DustBowlBlues

      You left out spoiled. Just like Rmoney is a rich, spoiled, prep-school bully.

  • ChernobylSoup

    On behalf of Generation X, I would like to apologize for Paul Ryan. Nobody expected anything out of our generation and he's a living example of why that is.

    Oh, and Pelosi is hot.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      It's alright. Everyone's pretty openly banking on our generation cleaning up your mess! And all of the other messes, too! Unfortunately, we're all unemployed.

      • LesBontemps

        As a boomer, I thank you both for your service. And by service I mean your Social Security and Medicare tax munnies, which I am going to eat.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Me too. Or, nom nom nom, as you youngsters would say.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            We say that because of the Cookie Monster, since we grew up with Sesame Street, because we still had PBS. Sure sucks for the people who come after us!

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Better learn how to do neighborhood puppet shows for your brats, because electric service will not be guaranteed!

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      If only Ryan was a true X-er, then he would be to busy sulking in his basement listening to emo to do any damage.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I hear Ryan is in SERIOUS trouble in his congressional race too…

    • ChernobylSoup

      Don't tease me. Links?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Oh, that would be icing on the cake!!

        • BoroPrimorac

          I'd be fine if Bachmann, West and a few other baggers lost their seats, but I'd be over the fucking moon if this smarmy prick gets beaten.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Then you'll be happy to hear that Bachmann is in serious trouble. I believe she's lost the Independent vote in her (newly-redistricted) district by over 50%, and she's running barely 2 points ahead of her challenger and sinking. Her challenger is a bright-eyed young Democrat named Jim Graves. He's smart, sensible, and … sane.

    • chicken_thief

      I did see a headline where he recently pumped $2M into his congressional re-election campaign. Just to cover the bases, I guess….

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Yesterday or day before, just as Mott Rim-me was HULK SMASH-ing his chance at the Presidency to flinders. A sign, you think?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      What's the guy got to fall back on. Driving the Weinermobile? Showing his weiner for cash?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        P-90X Burlesque Act.

        • BornInATrailer

          My mouth. It's full of puke.

        • BoroPrimorac

          How can he do P90X if his back's all fucked up?

    • 102415

      Rob Zerban. Mail him some moniez. Now.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        No, this ^^^ is NOT my sock puppet account. Just proves that Great Minds Think Alike.

        Yeah, OK, it could be Small Minds Seldom Differ. I'm not bragging or nuthin.

        • 102415

          Hive mind is buzzing! If we can get West in FL sent home it will be the Trifecta.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Yes! YES! (hugs you, dances around in gimpy circle)

            This election has me so fucking jazzed. West is losing it, you know he's about ready to blow up.

      • finallyhappy

        I did – from the same paypal acct I sent to the pizza guy foundation and the Wonkette drinky things. I only have money there when I answer surveys and I get paid money in $5 or $10 increments(but I don't earn it in those increments- like $.50 or $1 ) I better answer more surveys starting today.

      • Isyaignert

        Just did. Here's the link to donate – https://secure.actblue.com/contribute/page/homepa

    • slithytoves

      I read that somewhere too, can't remember where. Thought it would hysterical if he lost the VEEP bid AND his seat. So long bright future!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        This is what I am fervently hoping for. I suspect that, like Thaddeus McCotter, recent Republican candidate for POTUS, one or more of these scalawags won their position by illegal activities including suppressing the vote. It's time to call them to account. Ryan losing his seat would be the start of that.

        So watch out, folks. They know they're losing, and they will fight like cornered wolverines. Go to the polls in groups, designate a cameraperson, and make sure you check your state's ID requirements, etc. OFA has the information you need to ensure that you CAN vote. Do it early.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yup. Challenger @RobZerban looking good, and he needs your help at robzerban.com, if you're in Wisconsin, or just, you know, have munniez lying around that you need to get rid of.

    • Estproph

      Oh pleasepleaseplease…

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Bachmann's in trouble too. Apparently crazy only goes so far.

      • 102415

        Jim Graves! Send him some moniez too!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          You're right. You, me, orygoon. We MUST be related.

      • 102415
      • emmelemm

        In bed.

        • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

          • emmelemm

            Well, I'll put you on the mailing list, but I have to warn you that the pictures are only in black and white.

          • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

            Are they grainy? Unless they are grainy, I won't be sure if they are authentic.

        • Isyaignert

          Oh you!!

    • DustBowlBlues

      Dare we hope that November will be Mittmass for us all? I'll trade that Audoban DVD of songbirds I've been asking for and take a Republic Party drubbing instead. Plus, more people will enjoy the latter.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Oh, hell to the yeah. I'm'a get some champagne.

        • Nothingisamiss

          MIttBorg if YOU'RE thinking about champagne, I need to cheer the heck up and (tentatively, so as not to jinx us) get my Mittmas plans together.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Geeze, am I such a sad sack, hon? I'm sorry if I've been an asshole. I do get awfully excitable around election time, don't I?

            It's looking good, though. Obama's much closer to the 270 electoral votes needed than Mitt, and Mitt continues to slip in the crucial swing states. Merry Mittmas!

      • Isyaignert

        And I'll trade the Butte Heritage Cookbook I have on my Christmas list – http://www.shopatthreedogdown.com/index.php?targe… for a Republicon drubbing of historical and Biblical proportions.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Needs moar John Sebastian

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Give ol' Nancy yer Lovin' Spoonful, eh?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    See?! All the incivility is coming from the Democrats!!1!

    • Shypixel

      Don't you mean Demon-crats?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    That pic at top: "Guess Who's Coming to the State Dinner"?

    • HistoriCat

      Guess Who's Coming to at the State Dinner.

      Fixed that for you.

  • sbj1964

    Nancy can't find a place in her heart for little Pauly.Which is easy for her since she doesn't have a heart.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I don't always agree with Nancy Pelosi, and I don't always like her, either. But she is basically a good and decent person, and I would prefer you did not attack her character. Please stick to her politics. And remember that she's held her seat for years with a 92% approval rating from her constituents, which is a damn sight better than you can say for most other Representatives.

      • sbj1964

        She is a career Politician,and a party demigod.Having a heart would just be a drag on her soul if she had one of those either.92% approval rate in congress when they as a whole single digits that would be amazing. Where did you pull that number out of?Hmm,Let me guess.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Obviously, the only thing you know about Nancy Pelosi is what you pull out of your favourite place. And no, I wouldn't reach in there, not even to retrieve numbers that would support my case. Since you're THAT fucking ignorant, let me be the first to tell you: there is a thing called google. And even you can get your twisty stubby ancient fingers out of your ass long enough to query it. It is a search engine. It will show you such arcane and recondite information as politicians' approval ratings in their own districts.

          What a stupid fucking lout.

          • sbj1964

            So in short you have nothing?That's what I thought.92% of the time people just make up statistics.See I can do it also.Nancy's real approval rating however according to Rasmussen is 60% disapproval,and 40% of that strong disapproval in her district likely voters.Next time cite a source.Anyone can google the facts for themselves.Without you pulling numbers out of your ASS! What a Douche.PS Have you ever considered being a Fact checker at Fox News? You would fit right in.

          • sullivanst

            Nancy's real approval rating however according to Rasmussen is 60% disapproval,and 40% of that strong disapproval in her district likely voters.

            Wait, now who's pulling numbers out their ass? Latest Ras NATIONAL survey has Nancy at 59% disapprove, 46% strongly.

            NATIONAL not district.

            World Nut Daily commissioned a poll in her district last cycle, at the acme of the nationwide GOP campaign of hate against her, and she hit 64.3% favorables then.

          • sbj1964

            Really?Still nowhere near 93% by any poll anywhere.Nice try.And the poll I'm citing is in ref. to MB assertions of her supporters (Likely voters)not a National survey.Apples,and oranges lets try to stay focused.Thank you for just proving my point.

          • Boojum

            Putting aside the 92% — which is actually an ACLU approval rating for Nancy — Her approval rating is so high in her district as to be meaningless.

            Pelosi represents one of the safest Democratic districts in the country. Democrats have held the seat since 1949 and Republicans, who currently make up only 13 percent of registered voters in the district, have not made a serious bid for the seat since the early 1960s. She won the seat in her own right in 1988 and has been reelected 10 more times with no substantive opposition, winning by an average of 80 percent of the vote. She has not participated in candidates' debates since her 1987 race against Harriet Ross. The strongest challenge Pelosi has faced was in 2008 when anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan polled 17% and Pelosi won with 72%.

            So, you slipped a digit and said 92 meaning 72 or confused ACLU approval for voter approval, who cares? She's winning. We take the House, Editrix is going to call me from the hinterlands to play bitch for Queen Nancy, because she will be talking all kinds of shit on behalf of the House. I will be lying down as rug monster for two sexy powerful ladies and you wonder at my motives? Cry Have Me, and Let Slip the Dogs of Porn!

          • sbj1964

            Never claimed she was in danger of losing her seat.San Francisco Dem's still will vote for her.The 92% approval rate is just bogus.And no matter how you try to muddy the waters that's just reality.The core of our dispute is just making up bullshit lies(Stats) to further ones political agenda.You know like the GOP.We should be better than that.If MB had a single shred of proof for his ridiculous claims he would have done so.But alas nothing.Thanks for playing the game.PS, I'm a big fan of yours keep them laughing.

        • sullivanst

          Remember, this is a district that gave John Kerry 84.2% of the vote.

          • sbj1964

            Is it wrong to call Bullshit when someone is Lying?Notice the anger when you confront them.They resort to personal attacks.I thought better of Mitt Borg.He should have just admitted he was bullshitting.That I can understand from an ideologue.

          • Boojum

            Sometimes we make mistakes that are meaningless in the broader context, such that it is considered inconsiderate to point them out, because it distracts from a larger issue. This is one such occasion. Whereas relying on Fox News nationwide polls to make some kind of point was just a dick move.

      • Isyaignert

        Also, too, when Nancy Pelosi was Speaker of the House their approval rating was in the 40% range; with Boehner it's 10% and falling.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I read an article about her in Time, or something, when she was elected Speaker. Yeah, she's arrogant and rude to the little people, but she's also engaged personally with the members of her caucus and tends to them like, well, like a grandmother from a teevee sitcom. Also, she can keep Democrats disciplined like no one has since LBJ was free to spread govt largesse, or take it away, from any damn congressman he chose.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Nancy's a mean little bitch. And I'm getting tingly.

  • prommie

    My! I like this woman!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Sez Prommie, Wielder of the Shiv of Snark. Of course you do.

      • prommie

        I have missed you. Not like that, Mongo straight, but still, glad you have returned.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Yeah, I've missed you too, and don't worry, your ass is safe from me.

          • Boojum

            Prommie's ass wird versprochie.

  • Baconzgood

    Paul Ryan is a stupid liar.

    In other news: Rain is wet.

  • Goonemeritus

    I think Democrats have decided losing elections is less fun then winning.

    • oenspiek

      Well, it's about effing time!

    • Boojum

      I think we have finally decided that it is OK not to make their points for them, when they were too incompetent.

  • Callyson

    "Don't voters have a right to know which loopholes you're going to go after?"

    (Gulp, fear in eyes…)

  • CrunchyKnee

    I would really like to punch that smug fuck right in his Eddie Munster looking grill.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      He could probably outrun you, though, with your fucked-up knee and his Kenyan-like marathon times and all.

    • FNMA

      No, aim for the scrotum.

      • sullivanst

        Indeed. If anyone needed a good cockpunch, it's Paul Ryan.

    • prommie

      Metaphorically of course what with him being a secret-service protected nominee for VP of the US.

    • Cleopatriot

      THANK YOU! I was wondering what old tv character he reminded me of.

    • DustBowlBlues

      With votes, of course.

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    She's my favorite heartless whore. I'd let her be my Jaguar any day.

  • emmelemm

    Whither the Nancy Pelosi lizard-tongue .GIF? That was one of my all-time favorites.

  • comrad_darkness

    Sorry, the republicans know how to "get things done" in the senate? Aye karumba!

    • sullivanst

      If by "get things done" they mean "make sure nothing gets done", then yeah.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    A 42-year-old man being referred to as a "young gun" is exactly why I loathe the GOP.

    • prommie

      Oh, well, I guess I am fucking methuselah. You know, 50 is not the fucking end of the world.

      • Lot_49

        Yes it was.

        • prommie

          Shit, man, it was when I finally came out of my shell!

          • DustBowlBlues

            Whoopsie. I am now following you. Or your window, at least. Hey, just read your profile and I like it so I did the above on purpose. You're welcome.

            As a 64 year Old, I caution you to appreciate any short term memory circuits that work and be grateful for your knees if you ever walk up stairs. After 50, it's surprising how fast they go. I was getting high in college just yesterday, and now I'm getting high in AARP land.

          • prommie

            My right knee just recently attained a state of total fuckedness, unfortunately.

          • Lot_49

            Me too really. Just said the gloomy stuff for comedic effect, however paltry. My life got really good when I was about 55. Here are two things that helped: (1) a good head of gray hair, and (2) making some real money, finally.

          • prommie

            I got one of those anyway.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Obama and Kennedy were both thought of as "young" in relative, generational terms when they first ran for President. Not to mention Clinton vs. HW or Bob Dole. There are a lot more significant things to loathe the GOP over.

    • freddymcmurray

      well, when you've got to be 35 to be prez, 42 isn't exactly geezer yet.

  • Terry

    Remember that Nancy represents San Francisco now, but she's from Baltimore. Her father was Thomas D'Alesandro, Jr., a U.S. Congressman from Maryland and a Mayor of Baltimore. Her brother, Thomas D'Alesandro III, was also Mayor of Baltimore. She grew up seeing politics that was red in tooth and nail.

    • Lot_49

      My ex was a staunch Republican but met Nancy at a fund-raiser years ago and came away charmed.

  • SorosBot

    I just wish the rest of the Democratic Congresspeople had Nancy's guts instead of the large numbers of spineless milquetoasts and blue dogs we're stuck with.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Reid's been kinda ballsy lately. And the convention showed a new attitude across the board.

      • sullivanst

        Reid's never lacked a pair. It's his ideological position well into the right half of the Democratic big tent that's the issue, not "toughness".

        • DustBowlBlues

          Mining interests, anyone?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Nance has never won her district by LESS than 80%. It makes a real difference knowing that your constituents are solidly behind you. I'm sure you've done political organizing work, and you know how difficult it is to get groups of people with very different motives and interests to agree to anything. Hell, it's difficult to get them to fucking agree even when they're on the same side.

      The Republican Lockstep March is impressive in terms of beating others down, but it fails at democracy, coalition-building, and effective management of important issues over time. You can't sustain the hard work needed to build anything by invoking a constant state of rage. This is why politics is so hard. It's constant effort.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are rounding nicely into that too-frank old couple on the cruise ship who like to scandalize younger folks by blurting out details of their love life.

    • prommie

      I know another couple that does that shit, too. They're not that old, though.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I would never!!! (That would mean disclosing the Old Man's porn surfing, which would embarrass him. )

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I know what you mean, every once in a while the wife has to let me know she knows I wasn't just looking at Talking Points Memo all night.

  • Oblios_Cap

    With a name like Pelosi, you just know she'll have Ryan will be sleeping with the fishes by the end of the week.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh hell yeah he returned to vote on still getting paid. He says statutory and all I can think of is that guy with the swingset. And I don't think if I were Pauly Fucknuts I would want to be the guy who has "carried the House Republican Budget."
    Cut him Nancy. I wish I could vote for her.

    I will now have that damned Welcome Back Kotter song stuck in my head all day.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      "Cut him, Nancy!" I am seeing a scene from some '50s troubled teen rumble movie, as re-imagined by John Waters. Such is your fakakta genius.

      • FakaktaSouth

        How cute is that top picture of Nance and PresO? I want that as a magnet on my fridge. So great!

        • prommie

          Do you know Pearl Jam's "Wish List?" Just something about fridge magnets made me remember that.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I do know this song, and you have already yelled at me for ruining that song, so I am glad you don't remember. Good good good.

          • prommie

            Was I drugged? I am glad I don't remember, too; whatever it was, don't tell me again.

          • Boojum

            Prommie, where are you based?

      • prommie

        Amazon Premium's free streaming video collection is chock full of drive-in faire such as you describe, Reform School Girls From Hell and such things. YOu would love.

        • FakaktaSouth

          YOU would know this.

          • prommie

            Yes, my secret kink is old black and white drive-in sexploitation movies! Curses, you have uncovered my darkest secret.

          • FakaktaSouth

            You hush before I start making fun of your girlie Gene Kelly thing. "manly dancing" – whatever. AND no you were not DRUGGED, good lord, I just hurt your feelings because you were being all positive and I made fun of you, because it it is sometimes funny for a typical crank to get jubilant.

          • prommie

            It'd take more than some joshing to ruin a song for me. Anyway, fridge magnets are like bluebird nightlights, no? And sentimental ornaments? Except they click.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          I'll have a young Natalie Wood please, either as James Dean's moll or as a fake Puerto Rican fake singing in a tenement in NYC!

  • 102415

    Nancy, your daddy would be proud. lol

  • sullivanst

    Arizona libel!

  • ChrisM2011

    Ryan looks like an extremely hungover grownup version of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid kid

  • http://drinkiesinthe253.blogspot.com/ drrty_martini

    When asked a direct question, he always seems genuinely shocked. I expect him to break down at any moment and say "b-b-but I'm considered HOT for DC!"

  • http://tactilepeggy.wordpress.com/ Pap Finn

    A sizzling GILF with a razor in her boot. I'd drink her bath water.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    He's stealing my motif!

    • Jus_Wonderin

      You should have trademarked that groping thing.

  • StillGoinGreen

    "QUIT LAUGHING AT MY EARS!!!!"

    Ryan exits quickly – stage left

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    At least Ryan's failure should be extreme enough
    To be worthy of being chronicled in an anthem by Rush!

    • prommie

      Such pompous Dicks!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        They were misguided in their youth, but matured. (Not that I'd spend any money on 'em.)

  • Lot_49

    That was really the low point in his career. The first few Lovin' Spoonful albums were wonderful…"Summer in the City", "Daydream," etc.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i do not understand why ryan is considered such a wunderkind.

    it's just recycled libertarian bullshit searching for a budget plan and reality

    • Steverino247

      Exactly!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Kind of like the Alien Symbiote with Peter Parker in its sticky, black clutches.

    • Negropolis

      But, is eyes, they're so blue.

      Honestly, it's as shallow as that. The Republican Party is kind of infamous for propping up people because they are deemed telegentic enough to go on the weekened talk shows.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Um, this explains Mitt in his entirety….

  • DahBoner

    Welcome back, indeed!

    This guy makes Vinny look like a fooking genius…

  • DustBowlBlues

    He really looks and acts like the smart-aleck asshole, with no sense of humor, who cheated to be elected president of Student Council (threatened sponsor that his poweerful father was going to call in his bank loan) then boasts how his "brains" beat the popular kid he ran against.

  • http://yourbiggirlpants.blogspot.com UrBigGirlPants

    Every time I hear this "secret plan" line I think of the West Wing episode with the "secret plan to fight inflation."

  • TribecaMike

    Ryan's face has "I am not worthy of licking Dan Quayle's potatoe" written all over it.

  • LibrarianX

    Spank him

  • Aridzona

    Kinda fun watching little Paulie trying to pick fly shit out of pepper with his answers.

  • MinAgain

    I had no idea that Nancy Pelosi was a Mean Girl.

    • Boojum

      No, no, Nancy is a Mean Woman. She is all grown up.

      She WILL cut a bitch, but now she does it with votes.

  • Warwhatgoodfor

    I am ready to bet all cummers $10,000 that I can accurately guess what each them is thinking. And, if anybody is such a pr* ck as to insinuate the picture is photoshopped, I know people who know people who reportedly knew prominent members of the Gambino family, assuming any of them are still alive/not doing life in Sing Sing. Not that I would advocate violence of any sort. Ever.

    • Boojum

      I was engaged to a woman whose grandfather's father was a bigamist. One family was active Gambino. The other (my ex-fiancé's) was fairly legit, merely doing plumbing work for Mr. Gotti.

  • rocktonsam

    really Nance, don't help right now, Barry has enough to deal with

  • TribecaMike

    Expecting Paul Ryan to be consistent is like expecting Barbara Boxer not to change her hairdo every three weeks.

  • ttommyunger

    All I can say is, I'd like to make Nancy cum so hard she'd have to pull the sheets out of her butt-crack afterwards.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Wow!

      • ttommyunger

        To put it nicely: I likes her.

  • Robman2

    Nancy, I will volunteer to polish your balls, they are bigger than any other elected officials, and because your a girl, it won't go too gay.

  • Negropolis

    Yes, children, Nasty Pelosi will cut a bitch if she has to.

    Now, if only she can make Boehner cry come November…we're working on it, Speaker.

  • MadBrahms

    Nancy's pretty much the best, but let's not short the love for Paul Krugman and his "magic asterisk". Great way to close a video.

    • Boojum

      Paul Krugman is like the Gandalf of economics, telling everybody what shit is true and not to believe the bullshit. Obama should name Bill Clinton Secretary of 'Splainin' Stuff and Paul Krugman Grand High Wizard of Money.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Oh, sure, mocking Paul Ryan is easy. But never forget that Nancy Pelosi is the reason George Bush wasn't impeached.
    She had her shot at greatness, and she threw it away. Fuck Nancy Pelosi.

    • sullivanst

      And the odds of achieving the 67 Senate votes necessary for conviction were?

      So, she blew her chance at making a highly divisive political statement with no chance of ever turning into concrete action. Boo fucking hoo.

  • MozakiBlocks

    I have a good friend whose worked in Dem. politics for a long time says that the one person he's "afraid of" is Nancy Pelosi.

    I can see why.

  • Thunderclees

    I need a GIF of Nancy Pelosi dropping a mic and walking offstage.

  • usuhname

    HOW DARE Nancy call the Republicans out on having no clue whatsoever how to manage a country, and their habit of dramatically increasing deficits. Bitch.