whatever dude

whatever dude

Hey so remember yesterday when Mitt Romney fucked the dog with his response to this mishigas in Libya? Well your Wonket had a thought: what if His Lord High Hairgel had in fact not fired that one dude, Richard Grenell, for being a lover of men? Perhaps Richard Grenell (who people say was super good at his job, maybe?) could have saved him from his ignominious everything, by explaining to him “shut up”? Well, we ran this idea by the Twitter machine, and Richard Grenell himself responded! (Above. It is right there.)

Now, we know the GOP has been having some issues with chronology lately, and how time works. But we are not really the ones who brought his gayness into it? That was Tony Perkins from the FRC, if we remember correctly, which we probably do! But yes, by all means, say we brought his gayness into it, by pointing out that perhaps firing someone for being gay had led to difficulties for the greatest statesman of this or any other era.

Fucking liberals, getting gay people fired, by mentioning it after they have been fired. Why must we suck?

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  • Fucking liberal tolerance, how does it work?

    • eggsacklywright

      It's a series of tubes.

    • Baconzgood

      Mirrors and magnets?

    • Empathy goes in, empathy goes out, no one can explain it.

    • JohnnyQuick

      Conservative tolerance is far better: They know non-discrimination laws get in the way of Free Enterprise and Religious Freedom (For Christians).

      Just keep your head down and hide your orientation, beliefs, gender or race in some sort of non-Muslin burqa. You might not get fired!

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        By closing loopholes in the budget that I'll explain after I'm elected.

      • Unless they can be twisted into an excuse for union-busting! In which case, you're the real racist for supporting unions!

    • ingloriousbytch

      No idea. I prefer to stick to fucking tolerant liberals.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        [raises hand]

    • ElPinche

      clown makeup and faygo?

    • It's ferrets, all the way down

  • Baconzgood



  • Calapine

    Rebecca must be the worlds greatest job:

    Being payed to troll on the internet…

    • Tundra Grifter

      You can get paid for doing this?

      Who knew?

  • ChernobylSoup

    When is it my turn on the time machine? The GOP has had it long enough.

    • hagajim

      And they don't know how to work the damn thing.

    • snarkelle

      Mitten's Theme song:
      It's just a jump to the left
      And then a step to the right
      With your hands on your hips
      You bring your knees in tight
      But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
      Let's do the Time Warp again!


    • ibwilliamsi

      When you get it, can you please go back and make sure that Mitt's parents never meet and don't have children? TIA!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Awww…he's butthurt & for a totally different reason!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Nary a bowling pin involved.

    • elviouslyqueer

      *golf clap*

    • chicken_thief

      That sucks.

  • CalamityJames

    That is so unfair, Rebecca. If Mr. Grenell had just been hetero, he could have had a family, and then Mitt wouldn't have fired him. It's not teh ghey, it's the lack of family, duh.

  • no_gravity

    Way to go Rebecca, what a little job killer you are. I bet you are secrestly a member of FRC, AFA and WingNut Daily.

    • CalamityJames

      "secrestly", I see what you did there.

  • RedneckMuslin

    It's Karma or Schau…that german word.

    • "Schoenfreude"?

    • MissTaken


    • elviouslyqueer


      • I would have gone with Braunschweiger, in honor of the Preisident.

    • prommie

      Schaudenkopf? There is nothing sadder than sad head. Tearful blowjobs, just a bad scene.

    • Lascauxcaveman


    • Generation[redacted]

      Schnauzer? Schnausages?

  • Boojum

    You just don't understand retroactive math.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Don't mention the gayness!

    Therapy with Marcus appears to be going well.

  • What Mitt needs on his national security team isn't more gays, it's more brains.

  • Baconzgood

    Now why does the right wing think just because we don't hate gays, muslims that aren't fanatics, and brown people that we're tolerent? Where does this come from? I'm liberal and extreamly intorerent.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I tend to save mine up for bad drivers and other stupidity, but yeah…

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      I'm liberal and I hate people. No one in specific, just, you know, 'people'. Like the entire human race.

      • ThundercatHo

        My bff and I frequently start conversations with, "Ya know, I just hate people." Because for every story of Nuns on the Bus it seems like there's a thousand stories about assholes.

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          I usually invoke "I hate white people", but there are days like the murderous rampages in Libya that the diameter on my hatesphere occasionally widens…

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Be careful with hatred of white people stuff. They're very nearly a minority these days, so we libruls are gonna have to start being more tolerant of them.

            Not looking forward to that.

          • HistoriCat

            Well, I'm looking forward to joining the minority. Power brother!

      • Dashboard Buddha

        A co-worker and I were talking and I mentioned that I hated people. She was aghast…"what about me??". I calmed her down by saying that she didn't have to worry since she was one of my people.

        For now.

        • Dr_Zoidberg

          Exactly. My parents and a couple of friends are 'mine' and I would do anything for them. The rest of humanity? Meh. Let a plague take them.

          Oh, and the Obamas and Bidens. They are totally in my circle, too.

          • emmelemm

            We really are separated at birth. I've always said, "What humanity needs is a good plague. My friends and family will survive, of course."

          • redarmyzombie

            I look forward to the zombie apocalypse.

      • finallyhappy

        Which is why I keep hoping an alien race made up of dogs comes and takes over. We have so fucked everything up

    • SorosBot

      I know I'm intolerant of bigoted asshats. But the wingers don't seem to understand that tolerance means not judging people based on inherent characteristics, you can judge and condemn people on what they actually do and say all you want and actually be tolerant.

    • PsycWench

      I'm often incoherent. Is that the same whatever look mice and John Bolton.

      • Lascauxcaveman


        It's uncanny how our two brains always seem establish colloquial of not hiking.

    • comrad_darkness

      I am particularly intolerant of people appealing to an invisible man on my behalf. But I usually bite my tongue on the assumption that they are down with their personal crazy and I don't really want to deal with the fallout of upsetting them.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Next time someone says "I'm praying for you," just fix them with a condescending smirk and slowly say, "Well, that can't possibly hurt."

        • JerkCade

          In the hospital, dying very rapidly from a fast moving vascular dementia, my Mom was told by the charlatan who came to "testify" with her, who we had already politely shooed away once, "I will pray for you."

          Her response? "Why would I care?"

  • thatsitfortheother1

    'tards are all-day, every-day ruining what's left of America and they want me to be CIVIL?

    • sewollef

      No, actually. They want you to shut the fuck up and say nothing. They've got an election to fix, leave 'em be…

  • StealthMuslin

    Maybe if he's a perfect little girl Daddy Mittens will come back?

    • DahBoner

      Daddy Mittens don't love him anymore, re:ghey…

  • One_who_wanders

    I remember all the irate emails and phone calls from liberals to Romney's campaign and to the RNC demanding that they get rid of their gay adviser. Sure. . . .

  • Generation[redacted]

    …think he would have stopped this mess?

    I'm going to take his answer as a no.

    • comrad_darkness

      If his answer to "I was fired because I was gay" is "liberals are injecting sexual orientation into this" then I'm guessing logic and cause and effect are weak in this one. so, yeah, forget him saving anyone from being an idiot on any topic.

    • HistoriCat

      Dude was praised by John Bolton – what more do you need to know?

  • sbj1964

    So basically it comes down to Queer Eye for the Mormon guy.The make over.

    • Tundra Grifter

      And then the rabid weasel make-up sex?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The first thing I would do after getting fired is comb the internets for chances to defend my ex boss who fired me.

    • comrad_darkness

      An S&M bottom you are saying?

      Added: there is probably an appropriate term for this, and I apologize in advance for not knowing it.

      • chicken_thief

        It's called a "grennell".

        • Lascauxcaveman

          It is now, at least.

    • BoroPrimorac

      Or go on every network that would have me and talk about how the president is an appeaser, even though my boss fired me in order to placate a bunch of extremists.

      • comrad_darkness

        Oh Snap, bitch!

      • One_who_wanders

        A different bunch of extremists. . . .

    • FakaktaSouth

      I am offended that this dick thinks he gets to say, HEY! I know what is offensive, and Mitt firing me was completely understandable, and all you assholes calling attention to how he fired me for the worst stupid reason ever are offensive. I can play the who's more offended game ALL DAY LONG. Because, well, I am offensive and caps lockey.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        I think licking the ASSHOLE of the people who at best want to make you a SECOND CLASS CITIZEN and at worst WANT YOU DEAD is OFFENSIVE!

        Hey, this caps lock thing is kind of fun!

      • UW8316154

        And noone can play the huffy, offended gay man like, well, a huffy, offended gay man, amirite?

        • chicken_thief

          I keep telling you, I'M NOT GAY! *sounding huffy and offended*

          ~ Miss Lindsay

  • Hera Sent Me

    Yep. Getting fired for being gay is offensive.

    Continuing to defend the people who fired you for being gay is, well, not exactly offensive, more like pathetic.

  • StealthMuslin

    Gay Republicans have Cockholm Syndrome.

    • One_who_wanders

      For the win.

  • Richard is a Dick.

  • PinkoPopulist

    Teh ghey can't function properly in any job, let a lone one where they are surround by hunky straight men, as they undoubtedly would be any time they entered any GOP campaign headquarters, but certainly Lord Mittens' campaign headquarters. So to answer your question, no matter how intelligent, his gheyness would have prevented him from stopping Lord Mittens during his recent debacle or doing anything productive for that matter.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Someone from Wonkette declared offensive.

    In other news:

    Scientists agree: water is wet.


    Mitt Romney is Great News! For John McCain!!

  • PuckStopsHere

    And with that, he ran to the arms of tolerant conservatives for comfort because, yeah, there are tons of them in the world.

    • PinkoPopulist

      Yeah, remember that time that all those tolerant conservatives got the GOP to support gheyness in their totally awesomely American platform…that was awesome.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Goddamn. Not only is he gay, he's uptight about it.

    • PinkoPopulist

      One might say he has something stuck in a certain orafice…

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      He should probably have just stayed in the closet.

    • Estproph

      It's like he got stuck in the closet door.

    • Now now, look at who he surrounded himself with. I'd be pretty uptight too, if every time I went into a lockerroom at the club, I heard "lousy faggots"…

    • Naked_Bunny

      His hatred for the Poors outweighs his love for the Menz.

  • LibertyLover

    Yeah, Rebecca, quit interjecting your heterosexualness into the issue of a Gay Guy that was retroactively fired or something.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Sounds like somebody has a little crush on Mittens!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Today's life lesson from Twitter:

    Don't inject the gayness.

    • sewollef

      I dunno anymore…. I'm still [after a gazillion years], wondering how the hell does someone grow up to be ghey and conservative? How? It seems anachronistic doesn't it?

      I mean, you realise as a young man that you're gay and you spend your formative years, either hiding it until you're brave enough to 'come out', or…. you face those years being bullied, abused, and even attacked by bigots and people full of hatred for who you are. Almost by definition, those people are conservative and religious.

      And yet, you grow to be an adult and you have your epiphany, which boils down to yelling…. "YEAH!! I'm going to join the republican party and work for [quite possibly the same] bigots and people full of hatred".

      What the fuck goes through that person's mind to reach that conclusion? By all means be fiscally conservative…. but socially conservative? It's a form of sado-masochism… and er, stupidity it seems to me.

  • eggsacklywright

    I wonder if the Mormons retroactively baptize the ghey?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      No, they retroactively send them to hell.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      …and then they boil the baptistry.

  • DesertTed

    There's no way any gay man would have been able to help Romney because the gays are too busy sucking dicks to get anything else done. C'mon.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      This is the reason I should not read the Wonket at work. I am too busy laughing.

      • LesBontemps

        If you weren't laughing, you'd be sucking dicks, so it's a wash.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          But laughing cuts in to my quota of cocks to suck.

  • Goonemeritus

    I re-read the “For want of a nail the shoe was lost” proverb and it doesn’t mention gays.

    • Chichikovovich

      Though, in the spirit of Santorum's warnings, it did feature some man-on-horse action.

      [And then man-off-horse action.]

  • Really, Editrix! How dare you remind him of his worst day this year?

    I bet he still cries himself to sleep into a frilly pillow every night.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      That's bullying.

      • Yea, it was a little cheap. I'm sorry.

    • chicken_thief

      And to top it off, neither Lou Sarah nor Tawd had visions of his massive junk.

  • So if a Conservative says something thoughtful and compassionate I can say, LOL, I thought Conservatives were supposed to be a bunch of self-centered pricks!

    • Naked_Bunny

      Apparently. Let us know if you ever get the opportunity.

    • bobbert

      Some hypotheses are just too far out to take seriously.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Cognitive dissonance. It's okay to be gay, as long as you don't work for a Mormon's presidential campaign, that it doesn't remove any merit or weight from the platform or campaign narrative, or as long as no one else points out that you're gay.

    I feel sorry for this cat.

  • How's that "Conservative Tolerance" working out for you, Richard?

    • LesBontemps

      His irony meter needs new batteries, obvs.

  • Considering you didn't mention his name, Trix, I'm kind of surprised he got his undies in a knot over it.

    Obviously, this "skohayes" person must have taunted him about being teh ghey.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Barrack Obama should apologize for Rebecca's tweet.

  • docterry6973

    Jeez, Rebecca. If you have access to the Soros Time Machine don't use it to get Richard Grenell fired for teh Gay. Use it to feed us soon-to-be-winning lottery numbers so we can become 1 percenters.

    • finallyhappy

      I think I mentioned this but Stephan Pastis of Pearls Before Swine gave me winning Powerball numbers- but they didn't win. Lucky I only bought 1 ticket.

  • OT

    Has anyone heard from chascates lately? There hasn't been a post from Chairman Meow for quite a while.

    • Five weeks, according to Intense

      • Well, do hope all is well with him.

    • comrad_darkness

      I don't see any recent activity on likely other sites with the same username.

      Hope he's okay.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    We should really go back to the good old days when pathetic dudes like this get married and make their poor wives and kids miserable for the rest of their lives.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Back to when, Charlie Crist's wedding? Or the Bachmanns'?

  • Chichikovovich

    interjecting one's sexual preference into this? Offensive.

    Wha? His sexual preference – or more precisely the fact that Romney was such a craven coward that he immediately folded from pressure from the lunatic fringe of the lunatic fringe to fire him over that sexual preference – is absolutely relevant. It shows that Romney cares more about placating gay-haters than he cares about crafting policies to keep America safe.

    • prommie

      Placating gay-haters is so craven.

      Craven is a really good word for this Romney guy. Fucking arrogantly, proudly craven.

  • comrad_darkness

    Can someone translate the Tweet-speak? What is Grenell saying?

    • MissTaken

      He would be tolerant to a hot gay injection by a liberal.

    • Naked_Bunny

      Liberals are intolerant for mentioning that Romney fired a guy for being gay.

      If it doesn't make sense, don't blame Twitter.

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Call me, Mittens! I still have your back!

  • colschick

    Stockholm syndrome much?

  • bureaucrap

    He must still be working for Romney, because the best strategy a campaign operative should follow when interrogated by a more or less random tweeter (and we know rebecca is not random to us, but probably is to him) is to maintain radio silence. Since he didn't maintain radio silence but chose to take what could have been a chance for statemanship and turn it into a partisan attack, shows that, at least, they are cut from the same cloth. Shoot first, aim later.

  • ElPinche

    Yes, offensive Rebecca needs a spanking.

    • And then, the oral sex!

      • DahBoner

        What? Kids just talk about sex? Shame…

      • MosesInvests

        Well, I s'pose I could stay for a bit….

  • hagajim

    I've got nothing for this idiot.

  • LibertyLover

    Maybe he's worried that Rebecca will get him preggers?

    • chicken_thief

      Look at the way he's dressed. The slut is just asking for it.

      • LibertyLover

        He can always get a rapebortion later, geez….

  • prommie

    Yes it is sooooo intolerant to suggest that Romney has hurt himself by firing a competent gay man just because his gayness offended the fundie evangelical fucktard wing of the party, and apparently replaced him with incompetent but acceptably non-dick-sucking retards. Yes indeed its so intolerant to point out that Karma is a Bitch.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Or that saying gay in a positive, regular old who cares way about a person is offensive? That guy hates himself a LOT don't he?

  • So that is a yes on your question. He could have kept this from being a mess. (Obvs he must distract so the truth is not seen)

  • Weenus299

    You realize now that somebody in all this has to burn at the stake now. As per the republican party platform. Romney-Ryan 1554!

  • Geminisunmars

    Well, I wonder who is still working for someone who supposedly fired a certain ghey??? Getting paid under the table much?

    • redarmyzombie

      He's just hoping will get him the privilege of sucking Willard's cock.

      …What? I'm a gay man. I have clearance to say that, dammit!

      • Geminisunmars

        But Willard only has eyes for Ryan. It is painfully obvious.


    (unless the person is gay or the person said something really gay.)

  • anniegetyerfun

    Richard Grenell was, and still is, a fucking idiot. It's too bad that they fired him for being teh ghey and all, but I doubt he would have done anything differently in this situation.

  • Richard Grenell was a nasty little apologist for the W administration and says mean things about Rachel Maddow on twitter, so who knows if he would have persuaded the Romster to not say stupid things or to say different stupid things than his other foreign policy experts did? He also appears to be humor blind — that is, he can only see humor when he's the one making with the snarky and he's never actually funny.

    (There you go. Answered the question without mentioning the gay.)

  • anniegetyerfun

    You know else likes to insert sexual orientation into things?

    • bobbert

      All of us, Annie?

    • bikerlaureate

      There's an IKEA joke in here somewhere.

  • Nesnora

    Richard just wants to live the plot of an 80's teen flick. The mean girls called him a freak and kicked him out of their little club, and when the smart nerd girl pointed out their awfulness he attacks her and defends the mean whores in hopes he'll still be invited to a party or two, because he is a simple cunt.

  • barto

    It's double reverse victimization! Yes, the liberals made the Mittards fire him, and then we "double down" and jack up our intolerance of the gay by… oh forget it, my brain hurts.

  • ttommyunger

    Is it insane loyalty to the Right that powers these Fucktards or irrational hatred of the Left? How much self-loathing is required for a man to continue to strike out on behalf of those who so eagerly threw him under the fucking bus? I haz perplexed.

  • Naked_Bunny

    Well, at least Grenell answered your question with a resounding "no".

  • sullivanst

    think he would have stopped this mess?

    Let's check his wiki page, shall we?

    In 2001, Grenell was appointed by President George W. Bush to serve as Director of Communications and Public Diplomacy for the United States Permanent Representative to the United Nations.


  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Wonkette offensive?
    I don't see it.
    Oh and eat shit butt ranger.

  • James Michael Curley

    Here is the Talking Points Memo Timeline of Romney Stepping on his Dick that is the best compilation of events which transpired regarding Cairo, Benghazi and Mitt's idiocy.

  • prommie

    You know them old christian ladies had no problem with Liberace, and they loved that nice Barry Manilow boy, and they loved that Clay Aiken. Maybe the trick for gays who want to be accepted by the right wing is to swish it more.

    • finallyhappy

      what, Liberace was gay ?? You just outed him on the internets!!

      • bobbert

        I'm pretty sure he was a gay alien, so it's okay.

  • prommie

    Romney clearly doesn't need foreign policy experts or even campaign strategists half so much as he needs some kind of team to give him a crash course in basic human decency, honesty, and integrity. He obviously has no comprehension watever of these things.

    • HistoriCat

      basic human decency, honesty, and integrity – nah, the base is suspicious of him already.

  • Guppy

    "Wonkette–We Brung Da Gay!"

  • Poindexter718

    Jus answer the question, NancyBoy!

  • Tundra Grifter

    If he'd actually met Rebecca he probably won't still be gay. Bi, at the minimum.

    You betcha!

  • AddHomonym

    So you think this gay would have prevented Mitt's boner?

  • bauserdotcom

    Hey, Richard, you "Uncle Tom" much?

  • CarolinaStewPie

    Whoa! Little Dickie has some high level circular logic loopiness right there. The world class self loathing that could only result in defending the asshole that fired you for being Gay because some damn Libbyliblibtardlibrul mentioned that you got fired for being GAY. NTTAWWT.

  • DahBoner


  • Cheneysleftnut

    We suck, so that he won't have to…

  • Richard Grenell himself responded!

    Dude, talk to the chair.

  • SaintRond

    'Nice to know some Republicans might conceivably read some of my insults.

  • i sincerely hope this is wonkette's fault and i sincerely hope they keep it up.

  • Limeylizzie
    • HistoriCat

      What a tasty looking dish! And the food looks pretty good too.

  • I saw this as it was going on and tweeted at Grenell that he was right, because Mitt Romney would still be dumb as a doorknob whether Grenell was "gay, straight, or a Catholic priest." To which he responded "nice anti-gay tolerance," which, huh? I'm very tolerant of the gays, it's idiots who drive me up the wall.

  • LibrarianX

    Being gay does not (sad to say) automatically impart smarts – or a sense of taste. Exhibit A – the Log Cabin Inexplicables.

  • LibrarianX

    If we point out that Mitt is a hysterical idiot, are we being intolerant?

  • DocChaos

    I'm guessing after that dumbass response the answer would be no, he wouldn't have stopped this mess.

    Mitt can't change his political disorientation, he was born that way.

  • Robman2

    Sounds like Richard is a tight ass…in the social media sense.

  • Poor Miss Schoenkopf. She can never be elected president now. She's already lost the self-loathing homosexual vote which is, like, a quarter of all Republicans.

  • VeraSevera

    Ha-ha. Methinks I see a stilettoed foot in Wonkette's mouth…

  • glamourdammerung

    Mr. Grenell, no matter how teatarded you manage to get on Twitter, the Republicans are not going to let you sleep with them. Or have any sort of important public position in their party. Or have the same basic civil rights that heterosexuals enjoy. Etc.

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